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Deepslate took longer to break than stone.
Everyone knew it, everyone complained about it, but it wasn’t until you were mining through it with an iron pickaxe and no beacon that you could really feel the difference. The odd second here and there was nothing compared to the difference with such primitive tools. Usually, this far into a season, Bdubs would have absolutely no use for an iron pick, but today was different. Today he had left the comforts of the continent behind and had gone out alone to explore the new world and its caves. Most of the other Hermits had already been at least once but he’d been so caught up in his projects that he just didn’t have the time. Now there he did, he didn’t want to waste anything: he’d packed up a shulker box of equipment and tools, enough food to last for a week, and set off. He had no intentions on returning home until he’d had his fill of what there was to offer, and while it might take a little bit longer to mine down to a cave with an unenchanted iron pickaxe, it meant that his enchanted diamond and netherite tools could be saved for when he really needed them.
He was getting close to a cave system, he knew it. He could hear the groaning of zombies, the vworping of endermen and the hastily flapping wings of bats: telltale signs of a cave system in any part of the world.
When his pickaxe hit the deepslate and the rock crumbled away more easily than before, he knew he was there. When it fell to his feet and instead of revealing yet more deepslate, it revealed an air pocket, he knew he was there. Bdubs was excited, and he quickly began to shift the remaining material to allow him to step out into the cave.
Before he let himself marvel he lit a torch, placing it by his feet to hopefully ward off any mobs, and then he let himself stand and enjoy.
It was beautiful.
Taking another step forward, the deepslate staircase he’d descended through became a soft, wet clay that his boots sunk into, and he had to adjust how he stood and how he spread the weight of his body and his inventory to not get stuck. The clay sloped downward toward a stagnant pool of water, only disturbed by drops coming from above. If he looked up, he could see moss and vines, with glowberries illuminating the ceiling and the moss carrying a strong smell of petrichor. He breathed in deeply, the freshness of the air almost feeling wrong for a cave, and he smiled.
He knew he had no control of what kind of cave he’d come out in, deliberately wanting one untouched by other Hermits to maximise his bounty, but he’d really hit the jackpot here. With so much plant life not just around him - but further in the distance, too - it almost felt like he was on the surface.
Almost. He still knew he was underground, he still knew danger lurked behind every corner, and Bdubs lit another torch as he began to walk through the cave.
Thankfully the area he’d come out in seemed to be covered in plenty of glow lichen and there were only a few spots where he felt the need to place down some light, but he could see deeper into the cave where he’d need to pay more attention to lighting things up, and watching his back. This space would, however, serve as an excellent base for the next few days, so he began to set himself up.
A bed so he could rest and respawn, a chest for the things he didn’t want to carry around, a furnace and a crafting table. It was simple, but it didn’t need to be anything other than that.
Bdubs decided that for his first task he would take torches and weapons, and would spend some time making sure the vast cavern was lit up as fully as possible. Collecting resources would be useful, but if he could make it so this place wasn’t trying to kill him it would be even better. So Bdubs walked away from the clay patch he’d made his temporary home and crossed a strip of deepslate, placing torches as he went. He killed a zombie, two creepers, and a skeleton. A lush cave really had been the best place he could have possibly hoped to come out in.
The ground beneath him alternated between clay and moss the further into the cave he went. Some of the moss had beautiful bushes on them, the azalea’s familiar sights from Wandering Traders, and some grew long grass. Everything felt so homely, so comfortable, that Bdubs couldn’t help but feel more relaxed than normal.
That wasn’t to say he didn’t notice the gravel traps, or the mobs, or the long drops down into vast pools of lava - he still saw all these things - it just meant that here… He was happy.
Bdubs continued further still, having to jump between clay patches and pools of water. He found the occasional dripleaf that could be used to help traverse the terrain, but after standing on one for too long and promptly being dumped into the water by the plant, he decided it would be better to just go with the tried and tested method of jumping.
It seemed, before long, that he had reached the largest part of the cave. If he hadn’t, he’d eat a block of moss, that’s how certain he was of it! No longer was the water he found only in stagnant pools, though: rivers ran between deepslate and clay, and lava poured down from holes in the ceiling toward the large pool below. A more open cave, however, meant a darker cave, and Bdubs worked quickly to light it up as much as he could. He was glad he did, because everytime he placed down a torch he saw something. Be it a mob, a long fall, or a loose patch of gravel that could send him plummeting to an untimely death. The beauty of the cave was undeniable, but right now he needed to focus on making the place safe and navigable.
Bdubs fought four creepers, a skeleton, a spider, and three zombies. More mobs than before, but that was to be expected, and he was gradually making progress.
Splashes from the running water over rocks hit Bdubs’ boots and he let out a contented sigh, enjoying the strange tranquility of the world. The water that flowed was clearer than anything he’d ever seen before, but he supposed to have reached depths like this it must have been filtered through layer after layer of stone and deepslate. The few fish he saw swimming about must be the happiest fish on the Server.
He followed the cave in a horseshoe shape to avoid needing to tower across, or jump over, the lava below. Bdubs made a mental note of the resources he found as he did: a diamond here, some redstone there, and a vein of iron running through most of the walls. The place was plentiful, and he couldn’t wait to… To… To…
AH-CHOO!
Bdubs stumbled back a little as he sneezed, bringing one hand to rub at his nose as he tilted his head back and looked directly above him, only to laugh as he saw the cause of the irritation. A spore blossom! He’d known they were beautiful, but in person that was even more evident. The ceiling where he stood was covered in them, and thousands of pollen and blossom particles filled the air. Bdubs sneezed again, and this time he simply chuckled.
It wasn’t too long before Bdubs reached the other side of the cave, the familiar sight of pools of water between clay that gradually climbed toward the deepslate walls of the cavern, still as beautiful as it had been before. He just needed to tackle this side of the cave, then all would be well, and he could mine til his heart was content. He could see the faint glow of lava, lichen, and berries in little offshoots, but the bulk of his work was done.
Or so he thought. It was when Bdubs paused to take in the view, to rest his hands on his hips and catch his breath as he listened to lava popping and water flowing, that he spotted something else.
A mineshaft.
Right. He needed to deal with that. The occasional mob spawning wouldn’t be an issue, but mineshafts were full of spawners, and the last thing he wanted was to be peacefully mining only for spiders to overwhelm him, or for creepers to rain from the sky. An axolotl chirped at him, splashing in a pool of water not too far away, and he nodded.
“I agree.” He said. “Spiders are the worst.”
The axolotl squeaked again, and Bdubs shook his head with a smile. Maybe he’d take one of his new friends home at the end of his time here, maybe he’d give them names and get too attached to say goodbye. Maybe Tango and Keralis would greet him expecting a shulker full of diamonds, and two full of iron, only to have dozens of water kittens swimming around in their shopping district.
As much as he wanted to, Bdubs couldn’t just hang around and talk to his new amphibious buddies. He took a stack of torches from his inventory and held his sword tightly in his dominant hand, before heading toward the mineshaft with baited breath.
The wood here was rotting and seemed to squish more than splinter when he stepped on the planks - though he supposed the structure adjoining a lush cave had something to do with that. There was a lot more humidity in the air here than in a normal cave, and as he placed torches in abundance he wondered if a cave was large enough to have its own weather. Could it rain? Could mist and fog obscure the ground in a beautiful yet deadly blanket? With the glowberries shining through it would be utterly beautiful - and if he found an amethyst to watch from! The thought was a landscaper’s dream, but dreaming wasn’t a sensible idea. Not now. Now he had to be hyper-aware of his surroundings, ready to defend himself at a moment's notice, and not daydreaming and getting lost.
Whoops.
Retracing his steps, Bdubs found his trail of torches and began to go again. If he only placed torches on the left hand side it would be easy to get back to where he’d started.
He killed four spiders, six skeletons, three creepers and five zombies before anything went wrong.
After so much fighting his arms were beginning to ache, but rather than take a break he just powered through. He swung his sword through cobweb after cobweb, collecting the string that dropped as he went, mindlessly going through the motions until he realised something awful, and something he should have already noticed.
He was moving through dense cobwebs.
He’d found a nest.
The first hiss told him that he was too late to place a torch to ward the spiders away, though he did so all the same. If he was lucky they wouldn’t follow him, and his careful steps backward would be too quiet for the monsters to notice…
The disappointing news was presented to him on a silver platter, in the form of too many legs tapping against wood and deepslate, and a chill ran down Bdubs’ spine. He hated spiders. He hated spiders. He hated them and nothing filled his stomach with more of a sickening dread than a clutter emerging from their home, dragging the cobwebs until they broke, dozens of beady eyes all focused on him.
Bdubs whimpered. If he were with someone else - with Doc, or Etho, or Tango or anyone - they would have nudged him with their elbow and teased him. Alone, the sound was pathetic and weak, and it did nothing but tell the arachnids slowly stalking toward him that he wouldn’t be putting up much of a fight.
While his arms were tired, his legs were less so, and Bdubs finally decided to put them to good use. In the silent question of fight or flight, his mind chose flight, and he turned on his heels and broke out into a run.
All he had to do was place one foot in front of the other, and keep doing that over and over and over until those things had lost him. He just had to follow the torches, to keep them on his right (or, was it his left?), and not stop moving. He couldn’t look back, he couldn’t let the sounds of spiders hissing and moving around behind him distract from anything else. He couldn’t look back. He couldn’t look back.
Wait, was that torch on the right hand side still?
Did he recognise this path?
How far into the mineshaft had he travelled?
Whether it was minutes, hours, or seconds later, Bdubs found the exit. He could see glowberries and moss, could see the telltale pollen coming from spore blossoms above, and he knew he would be out. The spiders were still chasing him, venomous fangs wanting to sink into his shoulder, but at least there he’d be in an open area. At least he’d have more options there. At least--
The wood he’d first clambered onto when entering the mineshaft broke under his weight. With no warning of anything going wrong - or at least, nothing he’d managed to pick up on - he had no time to reach out and try to grab a vine, or some moss, or anything, and found himself flailing as he fell.
It was only a couple of blocks, he didn’t land awkwardly enough to break anything (though he would be bruised and aching for days), but it was a dead stop. A stop that the spiders chasing him decided to take advantage of. He didn’t have time to get to his feet before he felt a fuzzy leg pressing against his back, trying to pin him in place, and he didn’t have time to shout before something dripped on the back of his neck. He knew it wasn’t water coming from above, and it made his body tense, which only made the bite feel a hundred times worse.
Bdubs yelped, crying out, and as the teeth sunk deeper and deeper into his shoulder and the venom of the spider was injected into him, Bdubs tried to wiggle free. He managed to tighten his grip on his sword, and through the pain he took in a deep breath. He had one shot at this: one shot or he’d be dead, and respawning wasn’t something he wanted to do. It was a last resort, it still hurt like dying, and he hated it.
In one sweeping motion, Bdubs twisted his body. The spider on his back came loose - the others that had followed him met the sharp end of his sword - and he ran again. It was awkward and painful, but he couldn’t stop now. He had to keep running, had to keep going, had to get away from the last spider. He needed to get back into the area of the cave that he’d lit up and get back to his things so he could recover, but his head was spinning from the poison running through his veins and it was getting harder and harder to keep his footing on the loose surface. Tiny fragments of rock and pieces of gravel made it easy to stumble, and wet boots made it hard to keep his balance.
At least, he decided, it looked like he’d made it away from the spider.
Bdubs paused to catch his breath, bringing up one arm to lean himself against the wall he was standing next to.
His second mistake of the day.
The wall itself had been precariously balanced gravel, deposited perfectly goodness knew how long ago, and the one gesture was enough to disturb the delicate order of things. Entropy took over, and with it went Bdubs.
# # #
Everything was dark when Bdubs next opened his eyes, though there was little difference between having them open or closed. At least while they were closed, he could scrunch them tighter in an effort to relieve the splitting headache he had developed. While they were both open and closed, though, he felt the pain coursing through his body. After the fall escaping the mineshaft, the spider bite, and the gravel trap, he must have been an inch from death.
As much as he didn’t want to respawn, he was beginning to long for it. At least it would be over if he did.
He was regretting coming here alone. There was no one to take care of him while he recovered from his various injuries, no one to complain to as he was forced to rest, but most importantly there was no one that even knew he was there. Not that he knew where he was anymore. He knew he’d travelled East by boat, then flown some, then eventually started digging in a sparse jungle, but that was barely useful information. There would be dozens of sparse jungles in his direction. All he could hope for was that he could pull himself out of the situation he was in and get back to his bed. If he got there and couldn’t care for himself he’d reach out to the other Hermits, hopefully with some slightly more useful information.
Except there was one crucial thing his plan was hinging on that seemed to be presenting a particular issue.
Bdubs couldn’t move.
In the darkness it was difficult to see what had happened, so he tried to focus on what he could feel instead. What he felt was something horribly heavy on his right arm, something preventing any part of it from moving. He couldn’t wiggle his fingers, he couldn’t bend his elbow, he couldn’t shift his shoulder. If he tried to roll away all he felt was tension, and he knew he was trapped.
He was trapped. A hair from death. Thousands of blocks away from anyone else.
With his left arm he reached into his pocket, pulling out his communicator. He needed to get a message to Xisuma and he needed to do it quickly, before anything else happened, but when he opened up his communicator his heart sank. The screen was broken, one too many falls had smashed the glass, and the normally touch screen device was only half functional. He couldn’t read the top of the screen and he couldn’t change where he was sending his message, he just had to pray that whoever he sent it to was paying attention to their device.
[̶̧̯͖̰̖̻̤̌͑̑͂͌̾̚M̵̥̣̙̣̫̹̅̈́͗̃̓͌̿̄s̴͈̪̭͌́͜g̷͓̙͙̩̮̤̕͜ ̸͇̮̹̺̟̃̔́̐̽̐̆̚͠f̷̧̺̗̰̖̥̹̠̟͉͗̈́͌̽̓̕̕͝͠ř̸̨̘̝̽͆̈́̑̄̐̚ò̶̡͖̰̮͇̬̻̳̖̖͒̿̋̌m̷̨̭̤̰̼͊͆̅̿̄̓͊͠ ̶̛̲̰̤͎͖͗͑͊̔̍̀̄͜͝͝‘̴͍̼̞̃̕B̷͔̺̼̈́̃̋d̵̺̖͎̝̜̟̗͌ṷ̸͈̟̩̞̜̊b̸̝̥̝͒̏͂s̶̥͖͖̅̊͘̕’̵̢̛̙̣̜̰̗̖͚͒͆̅͐̏͠ ̷̧͖̬͖̝̋̿͂̃͝͠t̷̢̺̞̰̠̘̝͔̠͑̈́̄̓̓͊͒̆ͅo̴̖͕̺̗͉͈̦͓̝͐ ̶̞͙̎͒̔‘̴̥̟͎͙̘̱̱̤̄͆̓̈̉̋͐̂͝T̷̨̡̮̫͚͇̭̘̻̒̾͋̚ͅḣ̷̗͕͖̬̗̩̖͕͌ę̵̣̤͔̼̝̘̘͖̈͗̒̽̃ ̵̠̪̥̠̠̺̩̈́̀̇̂̓̄̐͠ͅH̷̖͓̎̓̇͐̉̒̂͒ę̴̪̜̠̠̟̻̬̱̈́͋̈́̉̌̉̕͜r̵̦̬͍̪̳͈̈̊̌͑̚ͅm̶̹͎̠̙̞̄̌̓̋̈́i̸̢̛̭͋̅̍̂̃̾͑́͝t̶͙̯̜͑̾̓̾̊ ̶̟̣̬̝̀́͐̃̀̎̽͊̓̚G̶̢̛̰̬̘̯͖̹̖̬̓̀̾͛͠a̶͈̯͇͎̬̯̼̬̔͗n̸̢͉̲̐͒̅̇͑̇̓̉͒͝ͅģ̵̨̥͖̪̳̋͜'̶̡̝͖̳̟͚̩͂̃͊̈́͝]̸͙̪̹̯͕̙̖̇̌̐̓̈̓̍̓̚ͅ ̶̧̥̗̦̖͓̤̇͊Ḣ̶̦͊͑e̷̛̙̻͝l̵̨̢̛̛͕̖̀̋̿͌̋͐̉ͅp̶̨̻͉̤͖̦͔͈̭͊͜,̸̭̮̲͈̭͎̣̐ ̶͍͍̑̿̏̓̄̊͆̀ş̴̣̦̠̒̃̆̀̕ͅt̶̨͔̘̙͋͊͊̋͐̃͆̈͝͝u̸̦̦̮͉̻͚̓͊͋͂̅̕ͅc̷̨͔͓̘͖̜͍͓̬̰̍̂͛̌̕k̴̢̼͖̜̙̭̻͙̂̋̾,̵̰̊ ̷̛̛͎̘̥̌͂c̷̢͙̝̙͈̀̈́̍͛̅͑͘a̵̛͎͎̞̗̮͛̾̾͛̐͝v̵̢̡̙̖̞͓̯͈͛̃̈͐͆̕ȩ̷͙͇̣̪̼͑̌̊͂̽̿͐̌̇͝,̷̧̡̛̖̣̦̲̀͛̆̊̅͛͝ ̶̡̢̣̬̜̪̱͔́͗͝h̸̘̣͕̼̝͖̽̚ü̵̗̳̘̞̣͕̿͆̄̔̓̽̈́̊͝r̴̫͇̓̄͌͆̈́̏t̴̗̼̼͇̒̏̊̿͒͊̃
̸̨̖̬̩̜̮̲͉̈̂́̔̍̈́̍͌ͅ
He pressed send, he knew he pressed send, but had the message had time to send before the device had shut down entirely on him? He was left with nothing but a black screen, no light source to help him figure out where he was, no way to tell how much time passed, and no way to move.
Bdubs was alone.
It didn’t take long for Bdubs to decide that his eyesight was completely useless and close his eyes. There was no point in having them open, not when the darkness around him only served to worry him further. With his eyes closed, there was no darkness, just the beautiful lush caves he had been in before. If his eyes were closed he was lying in the moss, glowberries and spore blossoms high above his head, the cave full of life and wonder. He was in a safe haven, where he could easily mine for more resources and chatter meaninglessly with the axolotls and fish. He didn’t have to worry about mobs, or about hunger, or about the pain in his arm. He didn’t have to worry about the mineshaft that had started all this, or the gravel that had pulled him deeper into the world below.
If he really tried hard enough he could still hear the axolotl chirping to him, the pink backed creature splashing as it swam back and forth in its little pool of water. He could hear the sound of bats wings, the distant popping of lava that kept the place warm.
He could still smell the damp moss, hear the noise it made when his boots squelched into it, taste the slightly tangy water that came from it.
Bdubs preferred the world with his eyes closed. This was a world he could navigate without fear and so he continued to explore it, taking a perfect pickaxe and swinging the tool back and forth to uncover diamond after diamond after diamond. In this world, he had Etho by his side to laugh with him. Etho called him short, and mocked his slightly croaky voice, and joked about the fact that he jumped when a zombie emerged from the darkness. Beef was there too, optimistic as ever, switching sides as the conversation progressed. And rejoining the group, laughing about how easy the mineshaft had been to tackle, was Doc.
Bdubs laughed with him, smiling as Doc rested a hand on his shoulder and brushed it with his thumb. It was comfortable and known, his family and his home, and he wanted nothing more than for the image in his mind to be true.
“Doc, tell Ladders over here that I’m not short.” Bdubs said, knowing damn well that Doc was not only on Etho’s side, but was taller than him. That knowledge was shared by his friends, and both Etho and Beef smiled wider as the answer approached.
“Alright. Etho, Bdubs here isn’t short.” Doc said flatly, to everyone’s surprise. Even Bdubs turned his head suddenly, looking up at him with nothing short of flabbergasted confusion on his face.
“What?” Bdubs asked. “Did you get hit in the head or sumthin’?”
“No, you just aren’t short.” Doc said again, before his lips curved into a smile and Bdubs felt himself being jostled back and forth. “You’re tiny.” And Etho and Beef laughed, and Bdubs pretended to be offended - gasping and bringing a hand to his chest in shock - and the group was happy and carefree.
He wasn’t trapped underneath gravel, the circulation to his arm slowly but surely worsening.
He wasn’t still dealing with the remains of the poison in his body.
He wasn’t alone. He wasn’t cold. He wasn’t afraid.
He wasn’t crying.
The world with Doc and Etho and Beef was real, and he wasn’t bringing his legs as close to his chest as possible. He wasn’t curling up on the ground and bringing his left arm across his face, wasn’t taking in shaky breaths, wasn’t letting out tiny mewls for help. There was no one to say that he was doing any of those things, so he wasn’t.
His stomach growled, and Bdubs realised that if no one found him he wasn’t going to respawn until he starved to death.
Maybe he’d get lucky and a creeper would come along and find him. Maybe the gravel would slip further and suffocate him. Maybe he could stare at an enderman if one teleported nearby.
“Bdubs?”
He could hear Doc’s voice again and Bdubs closed his eyes once more. He wanted to be back in that world more than anything, to be close to his friends, to have them hold him and care for him. He wanted the banter, the warmth, the safety.
“Bdubs?!”
That time it was Etho’s voice, and he definitely didn’t let out a sob. What he would give for not just one - but two of his friends to be by his side right now.
“I see torches.”
“There’s a mineshaft over there, they lead to them.”
Why had the Doc and Etho in his mind suddenly started to care so much about the mineshaft? Why did they care about the torches? The place was lit up and Doc had already dealt with the mineshaft with ease. Maybe there was still loot inside, maybe they were going to make a rudimentary XP farm.
“Watch your step, the ground’s unstable here.”
They sounded so close, and another pained noise ripped its way out of his lungs. He swore he could hear their footsteps above him, swore he could hear them like they were real.
“Bdubs?”
Doc’s voice was so soft, so tender, and he hiccuped.
“That’s here.”
Etho sounded equal parts panicked and equal parts relieved.
“The ground, he must have fallen. Etho, try to talk to him, I’m going to find a safe way round. I don’t want to risk the gravel falling again.”
Was he that desperate for help that he would just pretend that they were there? Was his mind twisting his dream into a rescue mission?
“Bdubs, is that you?”
He whimpered. Void, he wished it was Etho, and if he closed his eyes it was: Etho looking down at him, smiling widely enough that his eyes creased. If he closed his eyes he could hear the sound of breathing that wasn’t his, of footsteps moving around him.
“Bdubs? Oh snappers, this isn’t good. Doc! I can’t get him to respond! Get there faster!”
He shifted ever so slightly at that, rolling his body as much as he could with his arm pinned down, sniffling quietly. Still, it felt loud. Everything felt loud in a cave like this. He didn’t like it being so loud when he had just gotten used to the quiet.
When he felt himself move, and not of his own doing, he groaned. He didn’t mind a little motion to stop aches building up in his neck, but the movement felt like an awful lot more than just twisting his head one way or the other. And then there was the issue that he hadn’t moved his body: someone else had. That was surely a cause for concern.
“Do you have potions?”
Doc’s voice sounded so close, and if he focused hard enough he could feel the man’s breath on his face, he could feel his fingertips on his arms, his knees straddling his hips as if to use his body weight to keep him where he was. It wasn’t like Bdubs was moving anytime soon, but it wasn’t like Doc was really there either.
“Got’em, is he alright?”
“Delirious. It took us days to get here, I’m surprised he’s held on for this long.”
There were several things wrong with that statement. Firstly, no one was here. This was entirely his mind’s doing, a make believe world to help him forget the pain. Doc hadn’t come, nor had Etho, nor had anyone. Secondly, he’d only just sent the message. It had been a matter of hours at most, Bdubs was certain he’d recognise it if it was any more than that. He’d be hungrier, he’d have noticed time passing, he’d have… He’d…
“Drink up, Bdubs.”
Doc’s voice was gentle, and it was easy for Bdubs to do as he was told even if he was certain it was all just a hallucination. The hand at the back of his head felt real, though, as did the glass bottle pressed against his lips.
“I’m so sorry we have to do this to you.”
What did that mean?
# # #
The green bed Bdubs awoke on was familiar. Of course it was familiar. It was his. His green bed in his crescent moon house (with his spruce floor, his Boomers poster and his Vote for Scar poster). His green bed in his crescent moon house on the continent he shared with his family. His family, several members of whom were scattered across his bedroom.
Doc was beside his bed, on the floor, leaning against the azalea plant. He looked exhausted: lab coat somehow more rugged than usual and eyes dark and tired. Xisuma sat on the chest by his feet, watching in silence as he awoke. When Bdubs looked to the side he saw Etho leaning against the jungle trapdoors, Tango sprawled out over the stairs, and Keralis sitting by the bookshelf.
His friends. His friends were here. But… The last time he’d been awake…
“Bubbles! Oh, sweet angel face! We’ve been so worried!”
“Bdubs! You’re awake!”
“You’re okay!”
“Bdubs…”
Everyone had spoken except Doc, his three friends to the side clearly overjoyed that he was awake once more and his admin softly speaking to him. He didn’t have time to question it, didn’t have the strength to put together the last words he’d heard and Doc’s reluctance to speak, and so he focused his attention on Xisuma instead.
“It’s good to see you’re recovering well, my friend.” The admin smiled, though there was something about his eyes that seemed off. Even behind his visor, Bdubs could tell that there was something he wasn’t being told. "You had a bit of a rough time lately. Half the server was looking for you by the time we got your message, and thank goodness Etho and Doc had gone off in that direction. I can’t imagine how much worse things would’ve been if we hadn’t gotten to you when we did.”
“How…” Bdubs started, clearing his throat when he realised just how hoarse his voice was, and he was offered water from Tango. “How long was I out?” He asked, before starting to greedily drink the liquid he’d been given.
“All in all, we think about ten days.” Xisuma said. “We can’t be sure. You left to go caving on the new continent and we got a scrambled message from you a few hours later. We think that’s when the cave in happened - Doc and Etho said you were under about twenty tonnes of gravel - though it could’ve been sent whenever you got the spider bite.”
“They happened around the same time.” Bdubs laughed, wincing ever so slightly at the dull ache still in his chest. “It wasn’t a great day.”
Xisuma nodded understandingly, before continuing with his own version of events.
“It was another three days before we got your message saying you were in a cave. Everyone had been looking above ground for a sign you might have set up a base, getting another message was enough for people to go underground since they thought you might be up and about again. Doc and Etho found you around twelve hours after that, and then you’ve been drifting in and out of sleep ever since you got home, but I don’t think you’ve been lucid at all.”
Bdubs swallowed. He’d been out for three days before anyone had found him? No wonder nothing had felt real in his head. Even if he’d been unconscious all that time, he would have been underground long enough for mineshaft madness to have set in. It was almost a relief to hear that the pile of gravel he’d been trapped under wasn’t a hallucination.
“We’ve been taking shifts to keep an eye on you and sleep.” Xisuma explained. “It was the only way I could convince anyone to get any rest the last few days. It was an incredibly close call, who knows how long it would have taken you to respawn after a time like that.” He said, though there seemed to be words remaining on the tips of his tongue. There was still more he wanted to say, Bdubs knew it, but he didn’t know how to ask.
In fact, if he looked at any of his friends, he could see that the relief that he was okay was a thin mask.
“What happened?” He asked quietly. “Why is everyone looking at me like that?”
He knew he was the centre of attention in this situation, that people were worried about him, and he understood that. But this… It wasn’t worry they looked at him with. It was pity.
“Doc?” Tango asked. “I think… You could explain this one best.”
Bdubs shifted his gaze back to the man sitting beside him, though Doc didn’t look up from the ground. He looked even more awful than Bdubs had first assumed - like he was haunted by something, like he’d seen a ghost or done something he regretted.
“Doc…” Bdubs began. “What happened to me?”
“Can I… Can I have a moment alone with Bdubs, please?” Doc asked quietly, his gruff voice sounded weaker than normal. It was as if he’d been… Crying. It wasn’t a voice Bdubs could recall ever having heard before, and it was one that struck cold, sharp fear through his body. What had happened in the cave that had left Doc this hurt? And how bad was it that Xisuma, Tango, Keralis and Etho filed out one after the other without another word.
They all knew, and he didn’t, and he was beginning to panic.
“Doc…” Bdubs went to push himself upright but found that he didn’t have the strength to move his right arm. It wasn’t particularly surprising, not if it had been crushed by tonnes of gravel for several days straight, but it was irritating that he couldn’t sit up on his own. “Whatever’s happened, it’s okay, we can fix it. I’m sorry if it’s something I’ve done.”
Doc sniffled, and the noise shattered Bdubs’ heart.
“Doc?”
“I had to save you.” Doc whispered, his words broken, his fingers shaking. Bdubs could hear he was struggling to get in enough air, and he wanted nothing more than to be able to hug him until everything was okay again.
“You did save me.” Bdubs told him. “Thank you. I mean, by the sounds of it, if it wasn’t for you I’d be dead.”
“You would’ve respawned, you would’ve been fine.” Doc said. “Eventually, you would’ve been fine. I… I’m…”
“Tell me.” Bdubs said. “Get it off your chest, say it like it doesn’t matter. I promise, if it helped save my life, it was worth it.” He wasn’t used to this. He wasn’t used to consoling someone. He was so unsure of the things he said that he didn’t know if he was doing more good than harm, but he had to at least try. And it was true, if Doc had to do something terrible to save his life then Bdubs would forgive him. Whatever it was. Even if he didn’t truly forgive him, he’d probably say it just so the man could get some sleep.
“Your arm had been under tonnes of gravel for days, I couldn’t move you and I couldn’t move the gravel in case it collapsed and completely smothered you. And injuries… Respawning fixes most things, but three days? I don’t know if it would have done, it didn’t seem worth the risk.”
Bdubs nodded. If anyone knew how injuries and respawns worked, it was Doc. The redstone arm he sported had been one of his own inventions after his flesh arm had been crushed by pistons in an experiment. There had been an emergency amputation and he’d respawned from it. The arm hadn’t come back with him.
Bdubs was starting to see where this was going, but he kept his eyes on Doc. He needed to hear it from him before he turned to look.
“Getting as much of you out of that cave was the most important thing.”
A pit formed in his stomach, dread at the fact that he really had managed to put the pieces together.
“I’m so sorry, Bdubs. To get you out alive, I had to cut off the arm that was trapped.”
Bdubs didn’t know how to react in the moment. He didn’t know whether to laugh, or cry, or yell. He’d seen it coming, he knew the words before they left Doc’s lips, but it didn’t seem real. Even when he succumbed and looked to the side - confirming that he no longer had a right arm - it still didn’t feel real.
It was going to take one hell of a long time to hit home.
“I’m so sorry.” Doc whispered again, Bdubs looking back to him in time to see him wipe a tear from his face. “I had no other choice. The longer we left you the more you’d suffer, the more chance a respawn could be corrupted. I’ve been working on some designs, I had to, I owe it to you.” He explained, taking in a deep breath. “Mumbo and Tango helped with the redstone, everyone helped with the design. When you’re feeling better, when you’re ready, I’ll show them to you and you can pick one out.”
Bdubs nodded, because it felt like the right thing to do. He nodded because he didn’t know what words he was supposed to say. He nodded because he knew Doc needed him to nod.
“I’m sorry.” He said again, and he knew that Doc needed more than just a gesture.
“It’s okay.” Bdubs said quietly. “I mean, I’m still taking it all in, but if this means I get to look as cool as you…” He trailed off, chuckling for good measure, and Doc let out a huff of air. He seemed at least slightly amused by the statement, and that was good. Doc had saved his life. If he really had been stuck for days, then his arm would’ve been useless when he respawned anyway. It would have to have been amputated then, and he would have died for it. It sounded like he’d avoided dying and respawning on this occasion, so this was better. This was the best outcome he could’ve hoped for.
Doc seemed to be piecing himself together again, pulling back the curtain to hide the emotions he kept tied so close to his chest. With his left arm, Bdubs waved to get his attention.
“Can you help me sit up?” He asked, and Doc nodded. He moved quickly but carefully, seemingly just happy to still be allowed to even touch him, but when Doc tried to move away Bdubs brought his arm around him and held on tightly.
One thing he was going to miss before he got a cybernetic arm of his own was the fact that he couldn’t thoroughly envelope someone in a hug.
“Bdubs?”
“Thank you for saving my life, Doc.” He said quietly. “Thank you for being brave enough to do that for me.”
For both men, this was uncharted territory. Emotions weren’t often talked about or displayed, feelings weren’t often considered, and while they both sorely needed the comfort and the words of reassurance, they were both equally happy when the moment came to a close. Until he was alone and able to process the fact that he no longer had one of his limbs, Bdubs would resort to his usual cheery self. He would make jokes, he would laugh, and he certainly wouldn’t let his mind focus for too long. He thought about Doc instead, and when they returned he thought about Etho, Tango, and Keralis. When they left - Bdubs insisting that he was awake now, and they all needed to go home to get some proper rest of their own - he was visited in turn by many of the other Hermits. Joe and Cleo stopped by, as did Ren. Iskall said hello, Gem brought a pie, and Scar sat with him late into the night.
It was a nice reminder that he was surrounded by more family than he knew. And sure, when he was eventually alone, he did shed a few tears, but he wiped them away quickly. It was scary, and it was a big change that he wasn’t even remotely ready for, but it was one that he knew he could manage. He wasn’t alone. There were plenty of people that would help him learn to live with a prosthetic arm, plenty of people that would help him relearn how to do everything he’d loved so much before.
That being said, he wasn’t planning on building with gravel any time soon.