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Eddie Diaz doesn’t drink.
Well, okay, no, that’s...not entirely accurate. He does drink a couple beers here and there as well as the occasional glass of red wine, but he hasn’t touched the hard stuff (whiskey being his preference) since just after Shannon died. Even then, it was only two shots at some random bar before he called it quits and headed home. Since then, he’s vowed to search for comfort only in spending time with his son rather than diving into the bottom of a bottle.
But today is cause for celebration. Not for Eddie, it’s actually the opposite for Eddie. It’s more so a day of mourning–mourning for what could have been, what is, and what can never be.
See, his best friend–the man he’s entrusted with his son, his very heart and the center of his entire universe–is getting married today. And to Taylor Kelly, no less. What should be one of the happiest days of Buck’s life is actually the most miserable, soul-crushing day of Eddie’s.
Eddie doesn’t know what’s worse–the fact that Buck is marrying her , or the fact that he isn’t marrying Eddie instead. Because as much as he tried to deny it, to force himself to not feel this all-consuming love for one Evan Buckley, Eddie could never truly carve him out of his heart. He is as much a part of Eddie as Eddie’s own flesh and bones are a part of him.
So, yeah, this day definitely calls for a stronger drink or two or twelve.
~
Eddie sits at the end of the bar that is closest to the door. It also happens to be the most secluded seat in the room, which is perfect, since he isn’t exactly up for strange company right now.
He’s been here pretty much since Carla picked up Chris on her way to the wedding. She'd given Eddie a sympathetic smile and asked if he was sure he didn't want to come along with them. He knew she would see right through him, so Eddie had tried to avoid looking at her as he fluffed up the couch pillows for no other reason than to give his hands something to do so Carla wouldn’t see how badly they were shaking. Then a minute later, his saving grace son had come barreling down the hallway, looking like a handsome little gentleman in his gray suit and bright blue tie.
But then Chris had asked him, “How come you won’t come with us? Buck will be sad if you’re not there.” The pleading in his eyes was like a dagger to Eddie’s heart. With a heavy sigh, Eddie had told him he wasn't feeling well, but for Chris to give Buck an extra tight hug for him.
He hates lying to his son almost as much as he hates being lied to, but it was the only way to get Chris to go without knowing how much his dad was really hurting. And even though Eddie couldn't stomach watching the love of his life marry someone else, he would never keep Chris from being with his Buck. If anything, it was a comfort that his son–a small piece of himself–would be there to support him when Eddie couldn’t.
Eddie had seen them off, reminding Chris to be on his best behavior for Carla and Hen, who had offered to host a sleepover for the kids after the reception. He’d stood in the quiet of his living room for all of two minutes before deciding he was way too sober to handle the silence.
He's currently on whiskey number three as the early evening news starts to play on one of the several televisions in the bar.
Of course it’s channel 8, because this is Eddie’s personal hell, and what better way to punish him than to provide him constant reminders–like the very news station his best friend's soon-to-be-wife works at–of today’s upcoming event and all the things Eddie can't have. The things she has taken from him.
Unable to squash his masochistic curiosity, however, he downs the rest of his drink as he watches the news anchor flash a too-wide smile right at the camera, saying:
“As our good news tidbit of the day, we would like to offer our warmest congratulations to our very own field reporter, Taylor Kelly, who is getting married to none other than firefighter Evan Buckley of the LAFD. You may remember firefighter Buckley was one of the victims of the firetruck bombing a few years back, and who, months later, found himself right in the middle of the tsunami that tore through beachside LA, all while going out of his way to save at least two dozen people…”
Eddie tunes out after that, focusing on the music playing a hair too loudly in the background, his eyes glued to a large scratch on the sticky bar top. He flags down the bartender, fully intending to pay out his tab. But instead, he orders another drink after he casts another glance at the television and sees a picture of Buck and Taylor together, her smiling brightly at the camera with all the practiced elegance of a seasoned reporter, and Buck wearing a grin that doesn’t quite meet his eyes.
To anyone else, Buck’s smile probably looks genuine, happy even. But Eddie knows practically every facial expression Buck has ever made, and that smile is definitely forced. His eyes aren’t shining nearly as brightly as they do when he looks at Chris...or even Eddie himself.
Eddie wishes he could say he was blindsided by the Buckley-Kelly engagement, that Buck proposed on some whim after a dangerous rescue. But no, it was “premeditated,” as Eddie likes to put it, because the thought of Buck having to spend the rest of his life with that woman is the harshest form of capital punishment Eddie can think of.
Buck had mentioned to Eddie that he was thinking of proposing to Taylor, both as the logical next step in their relationship and to show her how committed he was to her. (Yeah, because Buck is the one with commitment issues in that relationship). Buck had reasoned that, maybe then, she’d actually prioritize him over her work. It hadn’t escaped Eddie that Buck had just spoken to his parents a couple days before he brought up the proposal.
Eddie had almost immediately voiced his disapproval–gently, so as not to provoke a fight with Buck. Lord knows they’ve had their fair share of miscommunications solely because of reading emotions and impulsive behavior.
Buck had looked at him like he was expecting Eddie to suggest some other alternative. But what could Eddie say that wasn’t “ marry me instead and become Christopher’s dad officially and we can spend the rest of our lives together making each other laugh and embarrassing our son in front of his friends because we’re so disgustingly in love ”?
Over the following week, Buck had seemed so lost and conflicted, Eddie had eventually relented and, with a heavy heart, he’d said, “ If this– she is what you truly want, then you have my full support, not that you ever needed it, but, yeah... ” Buck had stared at him with an unreadable expression, his features softening as he pulled Eddie into a hug, saying “ Thanks, Eds. That means a lot. ”
The fissure in Eddie’s heart had doubled in size after that.
Like a fool, Eddie held on to the sliver of hope that Buck wouldn’t go through with it, that he would see what’s right in front of him rather than whatever he sees through those rose-colored glasses when it comes to Taylor.
But...well, you know what happened in the end.
~
“You’re getting married in a month??” the team asks in comedic unison when Buck tells them the terrible good news. Eddie, honest to god, nearly loses his breakfast from how intensely his stomach twists in disagreement with Buck’s announcement.
“Yeah, it’s the same day as Taylor’s parents’ anniversary, and she was able to call in some old favors to book this really nice resort in the valley,” Buck says with an impressed, albeit tight smile.
“You already have a venue for the...that?” Eddie cringes at his colorful wording, but his brain basically ceased function two minutes ago. Everyone looks his way when the plastic bottle in his hand crackles loudly from the white-knuckled grip he hadn’t realized he was holding.
“I know, it’s really sudden but–” Buck shrugs his shoulders, “the earlier the better, right?” He laughs nervously, rubbing the back of his neck as his expression becomes more insecure.
“Well, I think that’s great, Buck,” Bobby speaks up after a minute of awkward silence. Buck releases a sigh of relief and accepts his congratulatory hug from Bobby, followed by the rest of the team.
“You okay?” Hen whispers with sympathy in her eyes as she sits down next to Eddie, who apparently is sitting on the couch now despite not remembering moving from his spot by the kitchen island.
“Y-yeah. Why wouldn’t I be? He’s my best friend–” Eddie looks over to Buck as the young firefighter laughs at something Chim said “–I want him to be happy,” he says quietly, startling when Hen rests a hand on his knee. She quirks an eyebrow at him, and Eddie just shakes his head, mumbling, “sorry.”
“Well, if you need to talk–about anything–I’m always here, Eddie,” she pats his knee before rising to her feet. Before she can take a step, Eddie reaches for her wrist, saying, “Thanks, Hen. I might take you up on that. Eventually.” He offers her a small smile, which she mirrors when she says, “There’s no time limit on friendship, Diaz. Whenever you’re ready, you know where to find me, probably nose-deep in some medical textbook.”
She groans, making Eddie chuckle as she, ironically, settles on a recliner with a textbook and two notebooks in her lap.
Eddie feels a warmth by his side and before he even speaks, Eddie already knows who that warmth belongs to, “Hey, Eds, can I, uh, talk to you...in private?” Buck asks with round, hopeful eyes, a look that Eddie is an absolute sucker for.
Honestly, he’s a sucker for any and all looks Buck gives him.
“Of course,” Eddie follows him down the stairs and into the empty locker room. It isn’t until Buck turns to face him after closing the door that Eddie realizes he’s the only one of the team who hasn’t congratulated Buck on his engagement .
Forgive him if he is less than thrilled at the idea of Buck forming such a sacred bond with someone other than Eddie.
“Congratulations, by the way. I gotta admit, I wasn’t sure if you’d go through with it or not,” Eddie chuckles half-heartedly. Buck huffs lightly, saying, “Thanks, man. And, uh, actually, she kind of proposed to me.” Eddie stares at him, shocked...and a little annoyed, to be honest. For some reason, the fact that it came from Taylor makes him feel uneasy, suspicious even.
“Anyway, I wanted to ask you something kind of important,” Buck says, his hands stuffed in his pockets and his shoulders hunched.
Eddie’s heart starts to race as he tries to school his features, “OK, yeah, what’s up?” Buck gnaws his bottom lip nervously, his shoulders rolling even more forward like he’s trying to make himself look smaller.
“Could you–would you...be my best man?” he asks, his face scrunched up in a wince like he’s preparing for a rejection. And Eddie just...stares. His jaw has gone semi-slack, his shoulders tense and heart somehow pounding and pitter-pattering at the same time.
It makes perfect sense for Eddie to be Buck’s best man. Of course the best friend of the groom should be the best man. There’s just that teeny tiny, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it detail of this particular groom’s best friend being ridiculously in love with him.
“Uh,” Eddie so intelligently replies as he tries to think of the answer he should be giving rather than the one his heart is screaming at him, which is basically just a drawn-out screech of “NOOOOOOO!”
“It’s okay, Eddie. You don’t have to do it if-if you don’t want to,” Buck reassures him, though the disappointment is clear in his eyes. And that is just...so Buck. Always thinking about other people’s comfort and happiness even at the expense of his own.
Eddie places a hand on Buck’s shoulder, his skin burning from the contact. When Buck looks at him, all the air in his lungs dissipates. He forces down every instinct demanding him to protect himself, to protect his own heart before it breaks any more than it already has.
With the best smile he can muster through his inner turmoil, Eddie says, “I would love to be your best man, Buck.” And when long, strong arms wrap around his shoulders, accompanied by the softest of ‘thank you’s,’ Eddie holds on tight, dreading the moment he’ll have to let go of the man he loves with every fiber of his being .
~
Eddie sighs with his head in his hand, his elbow perched on the bar as he slumps in his seat.
"Can I get you another?" The bartender–a redhead in her mid-forties–asks Eddie as she makes a drink for another customer.
"No, thanks. I’ll just close out my tab," Eddie offers a polite smile that feels too tight to look natural. But it's the best he can do with the weight on his chest that only seems to grow with every minute that his best friend’s wedding draws near.
Buck is probably standing at the altar by now, waiting for his bride to make her way down the aisle and into his arms. Eddie's stomach churns as he imagines the look on Buck's face when he sees Taylor in her wedding dress for the first time. Eyes shining with blissful, unshed tears. A soft smile, his bottom lip quivering as he tries to keep his emotions at bay.
Eddie’s chest caves in as he realizes that Buck will never look at him like that.
He starts to wonder whether he should have gone to the wedding after all, if only to see how breathtakingly handsome Buck looks in his tux.
No, it would hurt too much to actually witness his best friend, the love of his life, speak vows of eternal love to someone else. Eddie has been beaten, shot, and buried alive, but none of the pain from any of those traumas holds a candle to the piercing ache that has lived in his chest ever since he realized he was in love with Buck.
When it happened, it wasn’t a world-shattering revelation. It was like something that he couldn't quite name had been slowly blooming within him over time. The feeling was quiet and subtle for the most part, though it became bolder at certain moments. Every time Buck did something thoughtful, especially something for Christopher, the humming in Eddie’s chest became a soft melody until eventually it started to roar so loud, he couldn’t ignore it anymore.
Eddie is an expert in evasion. Even though, more often than not, everything eventually came back to bite him in the ass, he never could stop himself from shoving all his personal issues and complex feelings into a tiny jar in his subconscious labeled “Do Not Open.”
But with Buck and all his bright, beautiful exuberance, Eddie never stood a chance at containing that love once he knew it was there. His sanity has been chipping away little by little from his gargantuan efforts of keeping his feelings locked behind reinforced steel.
Eddie should have known Buck would be the grenade that broke through his defenses.
~
Eddie rarely knocks on Buck's door anymore, but his hands are shaking too much to get the key in the hole, so he has no other choice but to wait for Buck to open up.
His heart stutters when the door flies open a moment later and Buck greets him with a bright smile. "Hey, Eds. I thought you weren't coming by 'til tomorrow morning," Buck says as he gestures with the beer in his hand, silently asking if Eddie wants one.
He shakes his head, stuffing his hands in his pockets and clearing his throat.
"Is everything alright?" Buck asks with an air of apprehension.
Nothing is alright, my heart feels like it's being put through a shredder.
"I can't be your best man tomorrow," Eddie rushes the words out as he stares at a mark on the refrigerator door, remembering how Chris’s hand accidentally slid off the paper when he was writing his name on a picture he drew for Buck.
Eddie is unable to meet Buck’s gaze, afraid of what he might see–anger, disappointment, or worst of all, sadness.
"Wha–why? Did something–did I do something-" Buck's voice wavers, simultaneously with fear and concern. Eddie kind of hates himself for being the one to make it so.
“No, you didn’t do anything wrong, Buck, OK? This is all on me,” Eddie quickly assures him. Running a hand through the unruly waves of his hair, he says, "It's...it's Taylor, man. I-" Eddie forces himself to look Buck in the eye. He deserves that much, and more. So much more than a coward for a best friend.
"I thought I could muscle through it, look past everything she’s done or at least intended to do in the past to Bobby and the 118. It’s not just that. I just...I can’t. I can’t watch you marry someone el-" Eddie clears his throat before he says too much "- someone simply because you think they’re your only option. That’s not love, Buck. You don’t have to settle for her just because it's convenient or better than nothing or whatever it is you tell yourself. I know for a fact there’s someone out there that can make you genuinely happy, like Christmas-morning, dancing-in-the-kitchen, belly-aching-laughter-all-hours-of-the-day kind of happy."
It's me, dammit. Just this once, please see me . The words catch in Eddie's throat as he tries to get his breathing under control. He hopes Buck doesn’t notice the trembling in his arms or the tears in his eyes.
Buck says nothing for a long minute, the silence piercing Eddie’s eardrums. Buck stares at him with a burning intensity that could only be anger or shock or both. His mouth is agape until he slams his jaw shut and crosses his arms, "And what other options do I have, Eddie? Please, tell me, because so far, Taylor is the only one who hasn’t left me high and dry."
Eddie stumbles back like Buck just slapped him in the face, his expression incredulous. "Really? She's the only one who hasn't left you? And, are we talking about the same woman who, given the choice between the two, always chooses her career over you without hesitation?" Eddie’s nostrils flare, jaw clenching shut to trap any more words he might later regret from flying out of his mouth.
Guilt and pain flash in Buck's eyes before he settles on a more neutral guise. He quietly says, "You know what I mean, Eddie." The aforementioned man looks away as he tries to get his anger under control. Too many times have his emotions gotten the best of him and forced him and Buck apart in the process. He can't let that happen again, especially not now that he’s most likely going to lose the best friend he’s ever had.
"You said you know there’s someone out there for me but… who , Eddie? Who is this nonexistent person that’s going to just magically appear and turn my whole world upside down?" Buck's voice is erring on the side of desperation, his eyes round and pleading.
Eddie tries so hard not to fall apart at the seams, but his head and his heart are being wrenched in two different directions. His heart says, 'Now's your chance. Tell him how you feel before it's too late,' while his mind says, 'You're a trauma-ridden mess of a human being. Don't bring him down with you,' the latter dripping with his parents' contempt.
The words remain trapped behind his teeth as he croaks, "I-I don't know, Buck. But I do know that you deserve better than half-assed excuses and one-sided conversations for the rest of your life. You deserve the entire fucking world, Evan." Buck gasps and Eddie's eyes immediately go wide, not because of what he said, but because of how he said it–with a conviction that can only be interpreted as unwavering, unadulterated love.
"Eddie-"
"I'm sorry, I-I should go. I can't-" Eddie stammers as he reaches behind him and blindly searches for the doorknob, his vision blurring with tears that he refuses to let Buck see.
"Eddie," Buck’s voice breaks around his name as he reaches out to Eddie, his expression hurt and confused when Eddie steps back. He wants it so much, to feel Buck’s steady hands on his skin, but Eddie knows that would be his undoing.
He might as well have stabbed himself in the gut from how painful it is to see that look of uncertainty in Buck’s eyes. It takes every ounce of willpower he can muster to not pull Buck into his arms and let everything else fade away.
But he doesn’t do that. Instead, his palm burns with an icy chill when it meets the doorknob. "Good night, Buck," he whispers as he wrenches the door open and flees without a second glance.
He tries not to think about the silence that follows him through the entryway.
~
By the time Eddie pulls up to his driveway, the sun has set and left a blanket of stars in its wake. It’s rare to be able to see them so clearly in LA with all the smog and pollution in the air, but it does clear up occasionally.
Eddie decides to sit on the front porch for a little while and enjoy the view–and maybe to put off entering a silent house filled with shadows and memories of game nights and family dinners and messy school projects.
Among the billions of stars above, he spots Orion’s belt and remembers when Buck was on an astrology kick, rambling excitedly about how Orion contains one-fifth of the brightest stars in the night sky.
“Rigel is the brightest star, followed by Betelgeuse,” Buck had informed him in between calls during an uneventful shift. His blue eyes had been bright with wonder and unabashed curiosity that made Eddie’s heart skip in his chest.
“Like Michael Keaton?” Eddie had asked with amusement, a playful smirk tugging at his lips.
Buck had a look on his face that could rival the cuteness of a confused puppy, “Who’s that?”
Eddie's jaw had practically hit the floor. "'Who's that'?? Only, like, one of the best actors of all time. His films pretty much shaped my entire childhood." He’d then gone on to school Buck on all of Keaton’s greatest hits, most notably Batman, Batman Returns, and Betelgeuse , and OK, Mr. Mom wasn't half bad either.
Eddie sighs deeply as he shakes the memory from his mind, the heels of his palms pressing into his eyes. He doesn’t even know what time it is or when was the last time he ate something, not that he’s particularly hungry at the moment. His heart aches too much to stomach anything.
“Did you lose your key or something?” an all too familiar voice asks from somewhere in front of Eddie. His heart trips over itself when he slowly lifts his head to find Buck sauntering up the walkway, a small smile teasing his lips.
His tuxedo–sanz coat–is slightly rumpled, the sleeves of his white dress shirt rolled up to his elbows and bowtie stuffed into his pants pocket. The top two buttons of his shirt are undone and his hair looks slightly teased, like he’s been running his fingers through the thick curls.
“Buck? What-” Eddie rises to his feet, his pulse racing a million miles a minute as the younger man approaches him. He takes a couple hesitant steps forward. His walls instinctively fly up before he can stop himself, saying, “Shouldn't you be having your first dance with your wife by now?”
Your wife , the words taste like acid on Eddie’s tongue. He’s barely able to conceal a grimace as he crosses his arms over his chest.
Buck stops about two feet away from him, his head tilting with an exaggerated pout on his lips that reminds Eddie way too much of Christopher. “Yeah, I probably should. I’m sure Taylor’s doing just fine on her own though,” he shrugs with a nonchalance that grates Eddie’s nerves.
“What are you talking abo–Buck, why are you here?” Eddie asks, his voice strained. His fingers itch to reach out and touch Buck’s birthmark where the pinkish flesh shines in the moonlight. His skin feels too tight over his chest, like his heart is expanding and forcing its way through his ribcage towards its owner standing right in front of him, and it wants out now .
“Because I realized something while I was getting ready for the...you know. I mean, I had a little help, but I got to the realization eventually,” Buck chuckles airily as he nervously scratches his brow.
Eddie doesn’t know how to respond. Is Buck even really here, or did he have one too many whiskeys and is actually currently passed out in some random bush outside the bar?
As much as Eddie wants to, he won’t let himself hope for what may be the reason Buck is here–with him–instead of toasting to a long life of white-picket-fence happiness with Taylor. He needs to be sure before he gives any of his thoughts or feelings away.
“I, uh, couldn’t stop thinking about what you said last night, about me getting married for all the wrong reasons. That I deserve better. I mean, you really got into my head, man,” Buck huffs as his gaze falls to his feet, “And the more I thought about it, the more I just couldn’t stand the idea of tying myself to someone I barely know beyond surface-level stuff, someone who might be a good friend but-” Buck looks up at Eddie, his eyes swimming with sincerity and fear and devotion and a whole host of emotions Eddie doesn’t have time to decipher as Buck says, “not my best friend.”
Eddie's breath hitches as everything around him–the cool autumn breeze, the sound of cars passing down the street–fades into the background. "Evan," he whispers–no, prays . He prays that Buck means what Eddie hopes he means.
They stand toe to toe as Buck closes the gap between them, making Eddie have to tilt his head slightly upward to hold Buck's unwavering gaze. "I'm sorry it took me so long–fucking years –to see what was right in front of me," he swallows hard as his hands gently frame Eddie's neck. His palms are warm against Eddie's skin, the soft touch grounding him to the earth.
Buck licks his lips, drawing Eddie's attention to their plump redness. "That Christmas-morning, belly-aching-laughter type of happiness you said I deserve?” Buck smiles so softly at Eddie, he nearly melts into a puddle right there, “I already have that, Eds. With you a-and Chris. Even the dancing-in-the-kitchen bit, remember when we were trying to teach Chris the macarena–albeit, poorly, but it still counts," Eddie chuckles wetly as he nods, his hand wrapping around Buck's wrist, subconsciously in search of that steady beat that always makes his heart sing.
There it is, his pulse racing just as rapidly as Eddie's is beneath Buck's fingers. So this is real then. Buck is really here, saying all these beautiful things that Eddie has only ever dreamed of him saying.
His gaze flits between Buck's glistening eyes. Warm air fans over Eddie's skin as Buck releases a deep breath, whispering, "There is nobody in this world I trust with my heart more...than you."
The use of his own words–the ones he used to reassure Buck that he trusts him implicitly with Christopher–sends Eddie past his breaking point. He inhales sharply, shakily, as tears roll down his cheeks, his other hand fisting Buck's shirt in a vice-like grip. He tries to speak past the lump in his throat, but he can only manage a whimper of Buck's name.
Then soft lips brush against his cheek, kissing away the moisture there before doing the same to the other side. His eyes flutter closed as Buck rests their foreheads together. "I love you, Eddie. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, with the family you, me, and Chris have always been. There is no place I'd rather be than by your side, i-if you'll have me," Buck vows, his thumb stroking Eddie's jaw while the other ghosts over his lips.
Eddie is so far gone on this man, the mere idea of him ever rejecting Buck seems comical. After everything they've been through together, after all the events and decisions that brought them here, Eddie would have to be an absolute fool to let his chance at true happiness slip through his fingers.
He lightly kisses the pad of Buck's thumb, making the other man shiver, before he dives in for a real kiss that makes Eddie's heart burst with an overwhelming sense of home .
It starts out desperate and rushed, like they're trying to cram 3 years' worth of pining and bottled-up emotions into this one kiss. Calloused hands press and pull and leave goosebumps on each other's skin, the ghosts of their past loves and heartbreaks being swept away with every touch.
But then it slows to something more tender, heavier than either one of them is prepared for. Their lips move slowly, brushing and locking together with the occasional stroke of tongues that drive Eddie insane with want.
They pull apart just enough to find each other's gaze. Eddie nearly loses his breath at the complete and utter devotion in Buck's eyes, a deep shade of blue shining with hope even in the darkness of night.
Eddie rests a hand on Buck's cheek, his thumb grazing the mark above Buck’s eye that has enticed him since the first time he laid eyes on him. "Evan, I love you so damn much, most days I can hardly breathe through it," Eddie says as he rises on his tiptoes to place a featherlight kiss on Buck's beautiful blemish. Buck leans into the touch, his fingers gently scratching Eddie's nape. "I was so scared of losing you, I couldn't tell you how I felt...no matter how much it hurt seeing you with someone else."
Buck wraps a steadying arm around Eddie’s waist, pulling him closer so their chests are flush against the other. He shakes his head, "The last thing I ever wanna do is hurt you, Eds. I just–I never even humored the possibility of being with you because I never believed I deserved it–deserved you." Buck's brow pinches as if his own words are causing him pain, Eddie instantly smoothing the wrinkle with his thumb.
"We deserve each other , Buck, that's all that matters. You, me, and Chris–god, we've been through so much, too much for one lifetime. I think we've earned this small bit of happiness, don't you?"
Eddie wraps his arms around Buck, tucking his face just below the taller man's jaw and nuzzling the warm, velvety skin of his throat. Buck hums–the sensation tickling Eddie's nose–like he's trying to decide if he believes Eddie or not, but Eddie isn't worried. He knows Buck wants this just as much as he does.
Strong arms envelop him in what should be a suffocating embrace. But it just feels...right. Buck makes Eddie feel safe and wanted, more than anyone or anything ever has in his life.
A soft press of lips on his temple has Eddie leaning back and sighing with contentment when Buck says,"Yeah, Eds. I think we've earned this."
And for once, the ache in Eddie’s chest isn’t from loneliness or despair, but from his heart being so filled with love and adoration. It’s the best type of ache there is.