Work Text:
“You seem lost in thought,” came a voice from behind Zuko. The sudden noise made him jump as he turned to face the newcomer. She continued, wide-eyed, “Am I disturbing you? I can go back inside, I don’t—”
“Katara, please, you could never disturb me.” He patted at the railing he was leaning against, and she joined him. “I thought you were going to bed.”
“Zuko, seriously, I can leave you alone if I’m bothering you.”
“I just meant…I don’t want to keep you up. Are the others asleep?”
Katara nodded. “You’re not keeping me up. Besides, I rise with the moon, remember?”
He groaned, internally cringing at the thought of who he was two years ago, and covered his face with one hand. “You’re never going to let that go, are you?”
He glanced at her through his fingers, and she simply smirked and shrugged. They stayed like that for a few minutes, staring out onto the garden. From where they stood, they could see rows of neatly aligned trees that had stood there for decades, clearly marking out the criss-crossing walking paths laid with cobblestones. Beds of fire lilies, and other flowers that he didn’t know the names of, littered the spaces in between, almost looking like tiny flames. The sprawling grounds had always felt tranquil to Zuko, and he stood there with Katara now, enjoying the cool night breeze. But he could feel the weight of the unspoken conversation between them. It wasn’t an uncomfortable tension, but they both knew there were things they needed to talk about. He turned, just a little, to look at Katara. She was twiddling her thumbs, clearly trying to find a way to break the silence.
Before he could lose his courage, Zuko took a deep breath and blurted out, “Do you want to take a walk?”
Her face snapped up to meet his gaze, clearly surprised that he had spoken first. When she nodded and gave him a genuine smile, he could feel something flutter in his chest. Trying not to dwell on that, he made his way down the stairs to their left and started towards the pond at a leisurely pace. A few seconds later, Katara was walking by his side.
“So, what were you thinking about earlier?”
“You.” It took Zuko a second to realise what he had said. “I mean, not about you, I was thinking about all of you” —he gestured vaguely— “and how glad I am that you guys decided to stay back a little longer. It’s been…nice.”
She chuckled and let out an ‘oh’. Did her tone sound…disappointed?
He eyed Katara cautiously and said, “I was also thinking about the Agni Kai.”
Her face flooded with emotion as she let out another ‘oh’, sounding much smaller this time.
“Zuko, I’m so sorry,” she said, her voice cracking. He blinked. What on earth was she sorry for?
“I’m sorry I wasn’t quick enough to heal your scar again, I’m sorry that another person I care about almost died because of me, and I’m sorry that I even gave Azula an opening to strike me. I’m sorry for putting you in that position and causing you more pain.”
The words seemed to be pouring out of her and Zuko just stared, without the slightest idea of how to respond. Katara, always so strong and confident—so certain of herself—seemed unable to look at him. His eyes softened and he touched her arm as gently as he could.
“Katara,” his voice was softer than he had imagined, “listen to me. None of this is your fault. The consequences of my sister’s actions are her own burden to bear, not yours or anybody else’s. Besides, you’re the one who took Azula down and somehow still managed to save my life. There’s a reason I asked you to be by my side. I trust you.”
Katara finally looked at him and he thought he saw something flicker in her eyes. “Do you still trust me?”
He gave her a tiny smile and said, “With my life.”
Zuko stopped at the towering tree by the edge of the pond and took the same spot he used to sit as a child. Katara didn’t look entirely convinced, but she seemed to relax a little nonetheless, and sat down beside him.
“I trust you too, you know. You’ve always had my back, Zuko. Not just at the Agni Kai. I never thanked you for saving me from those rocks either.”
“I can’t believe you’re still thinking about that—”
“Or for Yon Rha. For being the only person who let me feel my anger and pain without judgment.”
He paused for a moment to choose his next words, hoping not to make this about himself, and then shrugged. “I get it Katara. I faced my father during the Black Sun too. It’s what you needed to do, and whatever decision you made, I would have understood. You’re entitled to your emotions.”
Neither of them spoke for a minute, but the space between them felt lighter now. Zuko observed Katara as she took in her new surroundings. The distant lights of the veranda were visible from where they sat. He could hear the hushed babbling of the water from the ornately carved fountain in the distance. The pond in front of them was rimmed with lush grass and tiny red and white flowers and the air was probably more humid than she was used to. He wondered if being surrounded by her element helped ease her anxieties about being in the Fire Nation palace. Despite the vast open space, this area had always felt cozy to Zuko. When a look of admiration passed her face, he let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding in. He closed his eyes and leaned back, glad to be able to share his favourite part of the palace with her.
This time, Katara was the first to break the silence. “Does it still hurt?”
Zuko knew she meant his chest. He was tempted to hide the truth so she wouldn’t worry, but he was an awful liar, and she would be able to tell regardless. He sighed and nodded. “Just a little bit; if I exert myself too much. It’s a lot better now though, thanks to you.”
She blushed and he thought to himself that he could get used to doing that. She deserved so much more appreciation than she got. Among the first things he had noticed upon joining their group was how much Katara did for everyone else, expecting nothing in return. No matter how much help he offered, it never felt like enough. He would do anything to let her know how much he valued and respected her.
“Can I take a look at it?” she asked, already bending the water from the pond. He loosened his tunic in response and in an instant, Katara’s water-coated hands were on him. This time, Zuko could feel the heat rising in his cheeks, which was silly given how many times she had done this over the past weeks.
“Everything seems to be fine.” She looked up at him with those striking blue eyes and Zuko felt his face get redder. He prayed that the moonlight was dim enough that she wouldn’t notice.
“I really am sorry that you have a new scar because of me,” she continued as she returned the water to the pond. She kept one hand on him, lightly tracing the skin around the scar. That fluttering in his chest returned.
“It’s not your fault. If I had to, I’d do it all over again. Anyway, what’s another scar from a family member?” he chuckled.
“Sorry, what?” The hand on his chest stilled.
Within a few seconds, Katara’s eyes went from being soft, to confused, to filled with rage as she seemed to be putting things together. Zuko clapped a hand over his mouth, realizing a second too late what he had said. He realized he had never actually told their little friend group the story of his impaired face.
She was staring at his burnt side now. When she spoke, her voice was noticeably tighter. “Zuko…who did that to you?”
Even after all the time he had spent unlearning the feelings of worthlessness his father had instilled in him, Zuko struggled to see himself any other way sometimes. It was hard to talk about the event that had defined him for so many years of his life. He was ashamed of the person it had turned him into, and the memories of his public humiliation still haunted him. He was working on it. But he was going to have to tell her at some point anyway, so he might as well get it over with.
“Ozai. But I don’t feel ready to get into the details just yet.”
She clenched her jaw as her nostrils flared. There was a dangerous glint in her eyes that Zuko recognized and hoped would never be directed at him ever again. “I understand that. Whenever you’re ready. On an unrelated note, where exactly are the palace prisons located?”
Zuko was simultaneously amused and slightly terrified by her in that moment. Had she been a fire bender, he had no doubt that Katara would literally be fuming right now. Almost against his will, he let out a chuckle and her eyes narrowed at that. “Katara, it’s fine, let it go. This isn’t important.”
“Not important? Do you really think so little of yourself, Zuko!?”
He was startled by the abrupt shift in her tone. The last time he had heard her voice this sharp was when he still hadn’t earned her trust. But now there was something else in there too. Something almost akin to desperation. Even though she was yelling at him again, Zuko couldn’t help but notice how different things were this time around. Their entire relationship had been fuelled by so much impulsiveness and passion. How had so much changed in just a few short months? He felt the hand on his skin tighten, trying to grasp at him, and again her eyes were flooded with too many emotions for him to read.
He gently wrapped his hands around her wrist and leaned forward till he was a few inches away from her face. “That’s not what I meant. We’ll talk about this another time, okay?”
Katara frowned and reluctantly dropped the subject but held his gaze, eyes still fierce. He felt a surge of affection run through him and was suddenly very conscious of how close together they were right now. Zuko’s breathing slowed down, and he noticed that hers had too. A lump formed in his throat when he realized that he wanted to lose himself in those bright blue eyes every day. Time seemed to have stopped and he couldn’t focus on anything except the girl in front of him. She moved forward ever so slightly, eyes darting to his lips, and he hesitantly cleared his throat. That broke the spell quite effectively and they both snapped away, trying to hide their flushed cheeks. Zuko rubbed the back of his neck, unsure about what had just happened between them.
“So uhh…this place is really pretty,” Katara said, looking around the garden quite deliberately. “Very peaceful.”
“Yeah, this was my favourite place to hang out as a child. My mother and I would feed the turtleducks while Azula tormented her friends.”
At the mention of turtleducks, Katara finally looked at him again, a cheeky smile appearing on her face. “Okay, a baby Zuko feeding turtleducks? That sounds beyond adorable. Speaking of which, I still haven’t seen a baby picture of you.”
“No.” Zuko found himself blushing again and wondered how many more times that was going to happen tonight. That was also when he remembered that his chest was still bare, and he hastened to tie his tunic back into place.
Her face fell momentarily as her eyes flicked south of his, but a second later she was teasing him again. “Oh, come on! Don’t forget that I saved your life. I think I’ve earned the right.”
“You know” —Zuko let out an exasperated sigh— “I almost forgot how obnoxious you can be.”
“Puh-lease, don’t act like you don’t enjoy it.”
Zuko could practically hear the smirk in her voice. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fine. Another time. But you’ll need to return the favour.”
Apparently, that was a good enough deal for her because she gave him a satisfied grin while Zuko half-heartedly rolled his eyes. He hadn’t felt this happy in a long time, but there was an awful nagging feeling at the back of his mind that he couldn’t quite shake off. Before he could stop himself, he was asking Katara when she and Sokka planned to go back to the South Pole, and he couldn’t hide the bitterness in his tone. What he hadn’t expected, however, was for her to get equally sombre. She stretched her arms behind her and leaned back on them.
“Soon. I want to go home, obviously. I want to see Gran Gran and spend more time with dad, and I miss all our family and friends there. I want to help the South recoup, but…” she sighed and laid down on the grass. “I don’t know if staying in the South is necessarily the most effective way to do that.”
Zuko wasn’t sure if she was asking for his advice but before he could react, she mumbled, “We were also thinking about coming back here in a few months.”
“Here, as in the Fire Nation?”
“Only if it’s alright with you of course! We wouldn’t want to impose—”
“I would love that!”
She turned to her side and smiled, “Yeah?”
“Of course.” He laid down too and turned his face to Katara. “There’s always space for you here.”
She rolled onto her back at that, but Zuko was pretty sure he saw some colour in her cheeks. Satisfied, he turned too and looked up at the sky. It was a clear night, and every single star was visible. There was just something so calming about that. As he got more relaxed, he found himself thinking about how lucky he was to have Katara in his life. To have all his new friends. Slowly, an idea started forming in his mind and he asked, “You know…Toph isn’t ready to go home yet, Aang wants to stay at the palace and work through some things with Uncle, and Suki’s setting up a Fire Nation division of the Kyoshi Warriors. How would you feel about taking a real vacation to Ember Island? It’s actually very beautiful.”
“That might be the best idea you’ve ever had.”
“Hey, I have good ideas!”
She snorted, “So, that ponytail you had when you were chasing us around the world, was that one of your good ideas?”
“Hey, I was going through some stuff. Leave me alone.”
“Never. Thank god you grew it out, you look infinitely better this way.”
Katara froze as Zuko moved to look at her, unable to stop the corners of his lips from shifting upward. “Are you saying that you think I look good?”
She scrambled to her feet and dusted off her dress. “You know, it’s actually getting really late; I should be going to bed.”
“If you say so.” Zuko tried to suppress a laugh as he got up to walk with her. She was adorab—funny when she was flustered. Once they were back on the patio, she finally looked at him again and pulled him into a tight hug.
“Good night Zuko, I really enjoyed this.” It practically came out as a whisper, and he felt the skin next to his ear tingle. When she pulled away, her hands were still lingering on his arms. “We’ll talk to the others about the trip tomorrow. I’ll see you in the morning.”
He watched her head towards her room, when she turned back around and hesitantly asked, “Do you think we could do this again some time?”
He moved his mouth wordlessly, until he found his voice again. “I would love that.”
She responded with a radiant smile, “Sweet dreams, Fire Prince.”
“Good night Katara.” He flashed her the most genuine smile he had had in a long time, before she finally walked away. He was going to miss her when she went home – he hadn’t felt so safe with anyone before. Zuko took one last deep breath before making his way back to his own chambers. He fell asleep with that smile plastered to his face, holding onto the promise of a next time.
