Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"if you ask me," Bucky says as he leans back in his chair, his hand resting on his head as he stares at the camera. A bored, slightly annoyed look on his face. "I think this is stupid. I mean what's the point of this?"

A quiet voice off camera speaks, barely being picked up by the microphone.

"To show the public that the Avengers have their own lives and to show that they're just like the civilians they're protecting."

"Oh," Bucky nods and looks away from the man off camera and back ahead "a giant PR stunt then. Nice."

∴

A camera zooms into the living room of Avengers tower. Natasha and Bruce are sitting on the couch while two younger boys, Peter and Harley, sit on the ground playing an intense game of Super Mario Bros.

Steve is seen in the kitchen messing around with whatever recipe he had found online, his back to the camera. Before the camera is moved away a whisper from behind is heard.

"That's America's ass."

The camera man quickly turns around to face Tony who's grinning and holding back laughter from his own joke.

Steve having heard Tony let's out a frustrated sigh.

"Tony."

In response the man chuckles and mumbles a quick apology. Now that his presence is known he turns to see the two teens on the floor and smiles.

"Hey kiddos."

Peter smiles, still staring at the screen as his fingers move at a rapid pace to stay alive in the video game.

"Hi Mr. Stark!"

Harley, also not looking away smirks.

"Hey old man."

∴

Peter is sat in front of the camera, nervously picking at a loose thread on his jeans, his eyes downcast.

"Everyone says it's weird I still call Mr. Stark... Mr. Stark, I mean yeah I've known him for a long time now and everyone tells me to just call him 'Tony' but I guess it just kinda stuck," he shrugs and finally looks up at the camera. "I dunno, I don't think it's weird."

∴

"It's definitely weird."

Harley leans back in his chair crossing his arms as he does so.

"I usually just call him whatever ya'know?
Old man, tincan...uh Tones?"

Harley chuckles softly to himself as he expresses his thoughts out loud.

"But he doesn't really respond to 'Tincan' he does with old man though. At least he's self aware." The boy shrugs and smirks at the camera as a couple of the crew laugh at his joke.
∴

The camera zooms in on Tony's face as he frowns at Harley. He rolls his eyes and greets the other two Avengers on the couch. The moment of silence is interrupted with a scream and banging.

The camera turns to face the closed doors to the hallway and films as Clint bursts through running away from something. Next Wanda enters, clearly angry at Clint. She lifts her hands and stops the other man from running with her magic. On closer inspection Wanda is soaking wet, her hair and clothes dripping with water.

"What the hell is wrong with you!?"

Clint, as he tries to fight against the magic which is clearly proving to be difficult, yells back.

"I didn't mean too!"

"You didn't mean to my ass! Quit lying asshole!"

"I'm not! I thought you were Sam!"

Steve quickly walks over to the group, his cooking apron still on, the camera quickly zooms in on it and it reads 'don't be afraid to take whisks' while two whisks cross over each other on a bright pink backdrop. it's clearly a gag gift from Tony.

"Now what is going on here?"

Wanda turns to Steve, she points at Clint who's still trapped in her magic.

"He threw a whole bucket of water at me!"

Before Steve can comment Clint yells back.

"It was an accident! I thought you were Sam!"

The two start on a yelling match, going back and fourth as everyone stares at them. The camera then turns to Steve, he looks directly at it, a tired, irritated look on his face.

"Why were you going to throw water at Sam?"

Peter's simple question had made the yelling stop.

"I was going to get back at him for putting purple hair dye in my shampoo two weeks ago."

"Oooh.....ok.."

The camera pans onto Peter and zooms in to catch his quick glance at the lens and back to the adults.

Wanda finally puts her hand down letting Clint fall to the floor. She glares at the man before walking back into the hallway to her room. The whole group watches. A beat of silence and the camera turns to Harley as he speaks.

"Well, that was definitely....something."
∴

Tony sits infront of the camera his legs crossed as he scratches his beard and sighs.

"Fights are a normal thing here, they happen all the time."
∴

Harley has Peter in a choke hold, their switch remotes abandoned on the floor and a large "Game Over" on the TV screen. The camera zooms in peeking over the couch as the boys fight.

Then suddenly Peter flips Harley over his back and he lands on the ground. He yells and kicks Peter's leg so he falls as well.
∴

Another example is shown with Bucky and Sam. The two men are standing in the kitchen, ingredients and cook book abandoned on the counter as they yell at each other.

They both get increasingly louder, Natasha sits at the island watching them. Clearly from the small smirk on her lips she thinks the whole exchange is hilarious.
∴

Tony shrugs as the camera is back on him.

"You just have to get used to them."
∴

Chapter Text

The camera turns on and focuses on Steve as he talks to the whole team in the living room. He stands infront of them while they all sit on the couch and listen. 

"We're having one of our team meetings today and-" 

Tony interrupts before Steve can continue his long monlougue about good behavior and listening skills. 

"Why not just have it right now? We're all here." 

Steve sends a glare to the man. 

"Because Tony, this isn't a professional setting."

Peter raises his hand and stares at Steve waiting to be called on. The camera zooms on Steve's face, he already looks done with the kid even though he hasn't said a word yet. 

"Peter, you don't have to raise your hand to speak." 

He nods, still Keeping his hand raised. 

"Sorry sir." 

Steve's sighes, but there's a hint of a smile on his lips as he looks at the boy. 

"Yes Peter?" 

Finally, Peter puts his hand down but doesn't miss the eye rolls from Sam and Bucky, Who are sat on either side of him. 

"Why didn't you just text us all? Ya'know, like in a groupchat?" 

Steve pauses and opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. Tony laughs at Steve seeing the answer as clear as day from the look of shame on his face. 

Peter frowns. 

"Aw, Mr. Rogers you don't know how, do you?"

Sam scoffs while Tony continues to laugh at Steve.

"Man, how do not know how to make a groupchat? Even Bucky knows how." 

At that Tony laughs even harder, Steve glares at the other man, his face very red from embarrassment. Harley, not being able to hold in his laughter stands up to leave to spare the older man of any more embarrassment. As he reaches the doors he mumbles a quick 'I'll be right back'. 

Bucky pulls his phone out and shrugs. "It's actually very easy Steve, I'm surprised you haven't figured it out sooner." 

Peter, once again, raises his hand and looks at Steve. 

The camera zooms in on his hand and then to Steve's red, frustrated face. 

"Yes Peter?" 

"I can um, help you make a groupchat?" 

The blonde man sighes and rests his face in his hands. The camera zooms in on him and pans to Tony who's now calmed down and smiling like a maniac. 

"Thank you Peter, that'd be very helpful." 
∴

Peter is sat in front of the camera, a guilty look on his face. 

"I didn't know that he didn't know how to make one! I didn't mean to embarrass him infront of like, everyone." 

He looks down at his shoes as he slowly kicks one leg back and forth. He laughs a little. 

"It was kind of funny though…"
∴

The camera cuts and shows both Peter and Steve sitting at the island in the kitchen. Steve has his phone out and Peter is showing him how to make a groupchat. Steve looks a little lost but Peter is making sure not to explain to fast.

"Aaand done! Now you just have to name it." 

Steve stares at his phone then to Peter.

"Why do we have to name it?" 

The kid shrugs, "I dunno that's just what you do I guess." 

"Why don't you just name it whatever."

Peter smiles and picks up the phone, but before he can type anything Steve interrupts. 

"But keep it appropriate."

Peter laughs and turns away from Steve with the phone. 

"Yeah I know." 

The camera zooms in as he types.

'A🅱️engers A🅱️🅱️emble'

Peter finishes typing and finally creates the groupchat with all the Avengers, the first text pops up and Peter hands Steve his phone.

Sam: who the hell named this groupchat???

bucky: wtf Steve??? That's the most stupid name ever.

Sam: you're telling me you sat down and took the time to find the B emoji to create something so stupid?

Steve reads the text and then reads the name of the groupchat. He turns to Peter, who's smiling and very happy with his choice for the name.

Steve sighs and smiles.

"Thank you Peter."

The boy smiles back. 

"You're welcome Mr. Rogers!"
∴
The camera cuts to Peter who is happily sitting in his chair, a wide genuine smile on his face. 

"I like helping Mr. Rogers with his phone! I remember one time I had to help him turn his camera around because he kept taking pictures of his forehead." 

The camera crew starts laughing while Peter innocently smiles at them.

∴

The camera cuts once more to Steve who now takes the spot in the chair where Peter once was. 

The blonde man sighs resting his head in his hand.

"He told you about the forehead pictures, didn't he?"

At that the crew begins laughing again as the solider hides his face in his hands out of pure embarrassment.

Chapter Text

A black screen faded and the scene before the camera was an office room full of the Avengers sitting in chairs around a table while Steve stood up in front of everyone, a determined, yet professional look on his face.

True to Steve's word, a team meeting was taking place and by the look on everyone else's faces, no one was enjoying it. The camera glided over every Avenger as they sat in silence while Steve quickly went over notes.

Wanda and Vision were next to each, Vision looking eagar to listen to the captain while Wanda leaned against him looking half asleep.

Tony was on his phone of course, looking at suit plans for the team and Stark Industries emails.

Rhodey was quietly talking with Natasha, the two becoming very engaged with their conversation.

Sam, Peter and Bucky sat next to each other, even though they all annoyed the hell out of one another. Peter quietly swayed back and forth in his swivel chair while staring at the ground. Both Sam and Bucky watched him since they had nothing else to do.

Harley sat across from the trio, with his head in his arms, very clearly asleep, Clint who was next to him, opted to randomly poking the teen to annoy him.

Bruce and Thor sat next to each other also quietly talking to one another smiling.

Finally, Steve cleared his throat gaining attention of the team, except for Harley who Clint had to nudge awake with his elbow. Steve looked over his fellow Avengers and smiled.

The camera zoomed in on the blonde as he stood in front of a screen.

"Alright everyone, thank you all for attending-"

Sam leaned towards Peter and Bucky and whispered.

"He acts like we have a choice."

Both Bucky and Peter nodded in agreement while keeping their eyes on the leading Avenger. This time it was Bucky's turn to speak.

"I'd rather be cleaning the living room after movie night then sit through this."

"Oh yeah?" Sam smirked "well I'd rather be cleaning the sparring mats after team training"

Peter chuckled quietly as the two men went back and forth, until Steve glared at the three causing the soldiers to stop.

A couple of minutes passed before Peter felt his phone buzz, he glanced at Steve, who had his back turned to team before pulling out his phone and seeing a text.

The screen widened displaying the groups texts on screen for the viewers to see, alternating between each team members phone.

Annoying uncles and bug boy

Bonky: I'm going to bang my head on the table if this meeting doesn't end soon.

birb: fr. I'm tired of this already

parkour: what if we just jump out this window? I've done it before to get out of things lol

birb: oh yeah Peter, what a great idea I'll just gladly splat on the ground and die

Bonky: falcon pancake.

Peter read the last text and let out a small giggle.

Falcon pancake.

The camera shoots up to face Steve. The little disruption caused Steve to stop the meeting and send a glare his way, he quickly started up again as the rest of the team zoned out or fell asleep.

Annoying uncles and bug boy

birb: 😳

parkour: WHY WAS HE SO ANGRY OMG

birb: Dude got interrupted once and planned your whole murder in his head

bonky: he has the whole cover up ready too, rip Peter ig.

This time it was Sam's turn to laugh a little, but apparently that was too loud too. Steve stared at Sam as he looked up and awkwardly smiled. Steve huffed and returned to talking about the last Hydra base they went to.

Annoying uncles and bug boy

birb: god damn

parkour: AHAKAHDQJ

bonky: I feel like I'm back in school.

birb: God, I hated high-school

parkour: why cuz u were a loser?

birb: NO.

bonky: lmao

birb: I was a ladies man actually, I was swarmed with girls every day, something you'll never experience Peter.

Bucky finally laughed, louder than Sam and Peter did which also earned him a glare from Steve. The two men stared at each other before Bucky muttered a quiet 'sorry' and Steve returned his attention to the others

annoying uncles and bug boy

parkour: ACTUALLY SAM, I have been asked out before

birb: oh yeah? By who?

parkour: I'm not telling you their name, you'll make fun of me

As the three spoke in the chat, the camera panned over their faces as well as the rest of the team, the texts still coming up on the side. The others watched Steve with no interest, unknowing to the chaos happening.

Annoying uncles and bug boy

bonky: wait I wanna know

birb: WHAT PETER, I would never

parkour: yes you would

birb: tell me

parkour: no

birb: please I'm nosey I wanna know

bonky: me too

parkour: MJ.

birb: I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT AAHHAHAHAH I KNEW IT

bonky: ACTUALLY?!

birb: I'M TELLING EVERYONE, I WIN THE BET

bonky: we. We win the bet.

parkour: BET???!!?!??!

birb: 🧍🏾

parkour: WHAT BET???

birb: it's nothing

bonky: you're imagining things, we never mentioned a bet, you're acting crazy.

parkour: DO NOT GASLIGHT ME BARNES

bonky: I'm trying to girl boss Parker shut up.

At that both Sam and Peter began laughing gaining the attention of the rest of the team. Sam turned to Peter trying to shush him through laughter while Peter flailed around in his chair. Bucky had a small smile on his face, he was able to keep his laughter in control.

Steve glared at Sam and Peter. He sighed while crossing his arms over his chest. The camera zoomed in on his annoyed expression and back to the two causing a commotion.

"You three."

Bucky, quickly putting his phone away, looked up at Steve.

"Do you need to go out in the hall?"

Bucky shook his head slightly, hiding his laughter behind a cough.

"No."

Right after he replied Sam and Peter burst into laughter again causing Bucky to chuckle.

Steve pointed at the door, still looking at the trio.

"Out, now."

The three got up and the camera followed them as they quickly walked out of the room and closing the door behind them. Their laughter could still be heard from behind the door. The camera panned back to Steve, who looked about ready to wrap things up out of pure annoyance. He cleared his throat and looked at the team who were still very uninterested.

"Sorry about that rude interruption guys, now let's continue where we left off-"

The scene faded to black and faded back in with giant white letters across the screen.

'3 minutes later'

Steve picked up a stack of packets and slid them down the table to every Avenger, as well as the three empty spots.

"This packet is just a review and extra details about our last mission, the last page is something you need to sign and email to SHEILD or Fury himself."

A couple of the Avengers flipped through the pages carelessly, while others, others being Vision and Rhodey, read thoroughly through the packet. Steve quickly walked over to the door where the laughter had died down and opened it so see Sam on the floor while Peter stuck to the ceiling and Bucky leaned against the wall.

The camera zoomed in on the three from behind Steve's back and stayed there while Steve spoke in a tone that reminded everyone of a kindergarten teacher.

"Are you three ready to come back in and sit quietly?"

Peter nodded and placed his hand on his chest to show his sincerity.

"Yes we're-"

Before he could even finish Sam bursted out in laughter, he tried pointing at Steve, so he could talk, but every word was cut short through his fit of laughter which caused Peter to also start laughing. Bucky stood there, a small grin on his face as he grabbed the doorknob.

"We're not ready, actually."

He slowly closed the door and stared at Steve through the crack till he couldn't anymore. All that was left was the muffled sound of laughter and the awkward silence from the team.

Steve sighed and turned back around to face the others.

The camera zoomed in of his face, he looked very annoyed and tired from today's events. He pinched the bridge of his nose getting more frustrated by the second.

"You know what? We'll just finish this tomorrow. Everyone's dismissed."

Everyone quickly got out of their seats and filed out the door leaving Steve behind to take down the presentation and notes.