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Jason was in the middle of a stake out when an angry Canadian goose capable of biting through Kevlar dropped on his head.
God, he wished that was a metaphor. Then maybe he wouldn’t be getting a mouth full of feathers while the angry bird beat its wings in his face.
It clamped its jaws around his shoulders hard enough to draw blood despite the layers of body armor the teeth had to sink through. And the goose would. Not. Let. Go.
“Robin! What the hell is this bird doing here?” Jason snarled. Because Damian was exactly the kind of person who’d bring a goose to a stake out. Especially since they were investigating an exotic animal black market that had recently appeared on their radar.
Something that Damian took personal offence to, and Jason was sent to babysit him.
The two were stationed in a room complete with stained carpets, broken furniture and old peeling wallpaper, on the seventh floor of an abandoned hotel with a perfect view of the entrance of what was supposed to be an empty warehouse. But given the amount of foot traffic around the place and the crates being wheeled in, Jason doubted the validity of those claims.
Hence the stake out. Jason and Damian were scoping out the base of operations and conducted surveillance in preparation for a full Bat family strike to take the ring down. They were in their final hours of the observational portion of the mission, and things had been relatively smooth.
At least until the goose showed up out of nowhere.
And Damian was being absolutely no help, standing a few paces away with his arms crossed over his chest, and smiling like the knife-obsessed twelve year old gremlin that he was.
“Well it looks like you made it angry and now it’s trying to decapitate you in retaliation.” The youngest Robin replied without lifting a single finger to help his older brother. He watched the chaotic scene with a sadistically pleased gleam in his eyes which immediately made Jason suspicious.
So through a cacophony of angry bird screeches and a few barely dodged kicks to the neck, Jason whirled around and zeroed in on Damian.
“If you don’t get rid of this bird right now I’m sticking a bullet between its eyes.” He threatened, still struggling with the goose. It had now taken to biting into the back of his jacket and trying to pull Jason towards the door of the desolate room they positioned themselves in.
Damian’s posture immediately shifted at Jason’s word, and his hand went straight to the knife holster on his hip. “Shoot the bird and I stab you.” The kid growled, eyes narrowing dangerously behind his mask.
Jason didn’t doubt his determination to follow through with the threat even for a second.
“Then why the ever loving fuck did you bring this thing here?” he yelled over the goose’s angry hissing and honking.
“May I remind you, Hood, that not every raging animal that attacks you is my fault. Sometimes they just hate you.”
HONK!
“See? Even Murder Goose agrees with me.”
Jason shot a scowl in Damian’s direction while he dodged another blow to the face from the goose’s wings. “Right so you named the bird and expect me to believe that you had nothing to do with this?”
“Yes. I wouldn’t endanger the mission in such a manner.” Damian continued with a scoff before something outside the window caught his attention. Then he hissed, “And you’re about to give our position away if you don’t quit messing around, there’s abnormal movement by the east entrance of the warehouse.”
“I’m telling Agent A.” Jason seethed, ignoring Damian’s warning. “I’m telling Agent A, and B will have you benched for a month.”
“He’s not going to bench me because the bird attack isn’t my fault, it’s yours. And I’m going to tell B that you got distracted on the stake out.”
“Bullshit! This is absolutely your fault! Why would a random goose attack me here if you weren’t behind it?”
“I don’t know Hood,” Damian replied, sarcasm dripping off his tongue like venom, “maybe because we’re looking into illegal animal smuggling and one of their birds escaped?”
“Then help get it off of me!” Jason said as he backed up into a wall and tried to force the bird off of his back.
But the newly dubbed Murder Goose wriggled up over his shoulder and chose a new body part to target. It sunk its teeth into Jason’s arm almost as soon as it set its beady eyes on the flailing appendage. A string of curses erupted out of Jason’s mouth as he waved his arm up and down frantically trying to get the goose to let go.
The goose didn’t budge. It clung on with a murderous conviction.
“Does this thing have teeth on its tongue ?” Jason raged as he grappled with the goose, trying to get a good grip to rip it away from him.
“Murder Goose isn’t a thing.” Damian said, defending the goose mauling his older brother “And he’s done nothing wrong.”
Jason paused for a moment to stare incredulously at the twelve year old dressed like a traffic light, even as the large goose was trying to dismember him. “It's trying to eat me!”
And Damian nodded seriously. “As it should.”
“Sleep with one eye open.” Jason hissed.
Damian snorted and then glanced back out the window and scowled. “All the noise you’ve been making got us noticed. There’s a group of armed goons heading towards the hotel, we need to evacuate right now.”
Jason let out a roar of frustration and redoubled his effort to get rid of the Canadian goose.
While he did manage to pry open Murder Goose’s beak enough to get it to release its grip, the goose turned it’s head towards Jason and rewarded him with an angry HONK! So close to Jason's ear that he jerked back and yelped in pain.
Then the goose suddenly barreled into Jason’s chest, knocked him off balance and sent both of them tumbling backwards.
But something happened.
It was like reality glitched. There was a flash, barely perceivable to the human eye.
And before Jason’s back hit the ground he was gone, vanishing with the bird.
Damian stared at the spot where Jason had once been. His haughty, indifferent bravado melting into an uneasy uncertainty.
“Hood?”
No answer.
Damian slowly fell into a fighting position, eyes flickering this way and that beneath his domino mask as he searched the room for any unseen enemies.
“Red Hood?” He asked again.
When nothing but silence greeted his words, Damian hesitantly and quietly called out: “Todd?”
There was no response.
But off in the distance, Damian could make out the sounds of dozens of boots hitting the ground. They sounded like they were on the other side of the floor, heading down the hallway.
That was most certainly not Todd.
Damian grimaced, spared one more glance around the room. He knew what he had to do, even if he didn’t want to potentially leave Todd behind, as loud and annoying as he was. But the footfalls were getting closer and Damian was running out of time.
He ran to the window, pried it open, shot his grappling hook, and jumped.
* * *
Marinette was in the middle of fighting an Akuma who summoned geese to guide people to their soulmates. The difficulty came in not being mauled by the goose.
Which was an incredibly hard thing to do when you were fending off attacks from both an Akuma and the raging goose.
And it was Marinette’s own fault for not paying attention to her footwork while she was trying to herd the Akuma away from the crowds being evacuated from the international terminal at the Charles de Gaulle Airport.
She’d accidentally backed into a row of seats in the waiting area of one of the gates.
A tiny detail in the battlefield that she’d forgotten to keep track of.
It was only a slight stumble, but it slowed her down enough that the Akuma known as Mademoiselle Oie to get a lucky shot in.
She heard Chat Noir yell: “Ladybug! Duck!”
But it was too late. The glowing purple beam that erupted out of the Akuma’s staff clipped Marinette’s shoulder as she tried ducking into a roll to escape the line of fire. Next thing Marinette knew, she was being dive bombed by an angry bird.
“I think you mean goose!” Marinette yelled back as she dodged another attack from the bird terrorizing her.
That was the moment when Marinette should have been reevaluating her plan, taking in the new complications and obstacles under considerations, and figuring out a new way to rescue Papillon’s latest victim.
But when the situation finally registered in her brain, she froze like a deer in the headlights. Which immediately got her a face full of feathers and probably some bruising had she not been wearing a suit, but that was beside the point.
Because the only thing on her mind was the notion that somewhere out there, Adrien might be being attacked by a goose. Part of her hoped it was, and part of her didn’t only so that he wouldn’t get beaten up by a bird like she was.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a high pitched laugh, and Marinette snapped back to attention.
Mademoiselle Oie stood in the deserted airport hall with a wild look in her eyes.
“A hit!” The Akuma cackled with a maniac glee, “Finally I’ve landed a hit!”
The outline of a purple butterfly appeared over her face, and her gaze slid to the figure of Chat Noir. He sprinted towards them and slid into position beside Ladybug.
There was no bird following him. No goose spurring his actions along. He leaped forward, and batted away the raging goose attacking his heroing partner with his baton alone.
Mademoiselle Oie hummed. “Interesting. Yin and Yang. Creation and Destruction. I had always assumed there would be some sort of deep connection between Ladybug and Chat Noir. Romantic. Platonic. Familial. Any sort of soulmate. I guess I was wrong.”
Chat Noir’s tail twitched violently at the Akuma’s words, and the cat ears on his head flattened back.
Marinette immediately knew where this was going. “Chat, no! Don’t let the Akuma rile you up, it’s not worth it. Focus on figuring out where the akumatized item is!”
But Chat ignored her.
“What are you talking about? Of course we’re soulmates, the goose is attacking both of us.” He said as he swung his baton again at the goose that was trying to claw Marinette’s face open.
The Akuma tutted, and shook her head like a parent would at a child who’d made a silly little mistake. The movement dispelled the glowing butterfly outline around her face, and then she spoke. “The Soulmate Geese of Enforcement will appear to two halves of a whole, and lead them to one another no matter the cost. And until the two soulmates seal their bond with a kiss, the geese will remain with their assigned person until they do so.”
Mademoiselle Oie then swept her arm in front of her and pointed her outstretched hand at the goose. It somehow managed to sink its teeth through Marinette’s suit to bite into her leg, and she was struggling to get the bird to let go.
“This one is Ladybug’s Soulmate Goose of Enforcement. And you,” Mademoiselle Oie continued, shifting her arm so that she was now pointing at Chat Noir, “have none to match.”
“You’re wrong!” Chat snapped back and stalked forward. “You’re wrong about me and Ladybug not being soulmates and you’re wrong about your powers. Maybe you need to hit both people for it to work.”
“Chat!” Marinette yelled, completely taken aghast by Chat Noir’s declaration. She tried to reach out and restrain him but the Goose snapped at her fingers, and forced her to retreat. “Chat, listen to me!” Marinette pleaded, “This is what she wants, and you know that! Look, I think the akuma is in that pendent hanging around her staff, and I need you to-”
“Oh let him go!” Mademoiselle Oie boomed, “He couldn’t face the truth even if it slapped him in the face.”
Then before Marinette could react, Mademoiselle Oise raised her staff again and sent out another glowing purple beam. This time aimed directly at the cat themed hero.
Chat Noir did nothing but stand there and take the hit.
The glow enveloped him for a moment, then disappeared. He turned towards Marinette with a smile on his face, and opened his mouth to say something.
And then immediately got bit on the nose by the goose that materialized.
He yelped in pain and scratched at the bird with his clawed nails. “Look! It’s trying to lead me to Ladybug!” Chat Noir said desperately, moving closer to Marinette. But his bird was not having it.
Chat Noir’s goose swooped down, snatched his tail in its mouth and yanked so hard it sent both of the barreling down the hall and out into an open jet walkway on the other side of the terminal.
Marinette was unable to resist the urge to groan and burry her head in her hands, even as her goose pecked at her.
“So definitely not soulmates, if the fact that his bird was pulling him away is anything to go by,” Mademoiselle Oie mused out loud.
Marinette snapped her head back up and fell into a fighting stance. “This isn’t over yet!”
She was still there, even if Chat was driven off.
The fact that he’d gotten himself put out of commission because of his inability to look past his romantic feelings for her was disappointing, but didn’t come as a surprise.
The incident with Mayura and the Ladybug Sentimonster came to mind.
But he’d come back eventually. She had faith in that. And Marinette always had a plan even if it was just her against the akuma. Her eyes scanned the area once again. She just needed a little bit more time to gather her information before she called on her Lucky Charm.
The Akuma shook her head. “No, of course not.” A vicious grin suddenly blossomed across her face. “But do you know what would make this all the more interesting? Somewhere out there, Ladybug has a soulmate. Someone you care deeply for, or at least someone who you will grow to care deeply for. I wonder what clues they could give us, this connection to your personal life. What secrets would be revealed if they were here with you?”
Mademoiselle Oie paused dramatically. A silhouette of a butterfly flashed across her face again. “What sort of information could I pull out of them for our dearest friend, Papillon?”
A grim determination settled over Marinette’s features. “Not. Happening.” She hissed.
Because if her soulmate was Adrien, she was not going to risk putting him in the line of fire. And even if it wasn’t Adrien, she refused to put any civilian in danger.
She had to act quick.
Mademoiselle Oie raised her staff once more, and Marinette made her move. With her goose snapping at her heels, Marinette launched herself up into the air and flipped over her opponent.
The goose, being too distracted by its one life goal of violently herding Marinette to wherever her soulmate might be, did not care that the Akuma who created it was in its path and rammed right in her. It caused enough of a distraction to allow Marinette to swing her yoyo out and make a grab for the staff.
Her first attempt failed as Mademoiselle Oie flailed her staff around, trying to regain her balance.
Then the second time, she did manage to wrap her yoyo around the staff. However before Marinette could snag the staff, the Akuma twisted her weapon and yanked.
Marinette was forced to reel her yoyo back in or risk getting her head bashed by the giant carved stick.
“Tricky, tricky, tricky,” Mademoiselle Oie crowed. “Yes, you are tricky indeed.” Her eyes flashed dangerously “But perhaps, not as fast as you need be.”
She slammed the staff against the ground.
Shockwaves reverberated from the impact point, like the ripples from a rock that was thrown into a still lake.
And then-
HONK!
The terminal exploded with new noise. The sound of a goose viciously battling an opponent into submission, and a loud and colorful string of English swears and curses followed.
And suddenly, a man materialized on the floor. Struggling against a goose that had him pinned down.
He managed to land a solid kick to the bird’s chest and that bought him enough time to spring to his feet and take in his new surroundings. “What the hell is going on here? And why are you in a duck onesie?” The man asked, staring incredulously at the Akuma.
Marinette’s blood ran cold as she stared at him in shock.
Because this was not Adrien -and she was going to shelve that tidbit of information to have a breakdown over at a later time- but he wasn’t entirely a stranger either. She recognized this person, even if only from pictures. She recognized that stylized body armor, that leather jacket, and that scarlet red helmet that obscured his face.
He was-
“Red Hood.” Marinette said, switching to English. “You are the vigilante, Red Hood from Gotham.”
When Marinette first started out as Ladybug, she’d done her research on the rest of the superhero and vigilante community. The Bats from Gotham were one of the groups she’d studied up on. They were some of the best detectives out there, and when she was younger, she had hoped to see if they could help her figure out Papillon’s identity.
However, she didn’t know how to contact them directly. So she tried through the Justice League.
They never returned her calls. Eventually she just gave up.
But she never forgot the profiles she had created of the people who she thought would be able to help her the most.
“And I have no idea who you are.” Red Hood replied flatly before pulling out a gun. “So I recommend that someone start talking or I start shooting.”
Mademoiselle Oie cackled. “Oh this just keeps getting better and better! And look at the little birdies, they’re so calm now that you’re together.” She crooned, gesturing to the two geese who now sat side by side quietly on the floor near Red Hood and Marinette’s feet.
They stared up at them with their unblinking eyes.
“Creepy,” Red Hood muttered, taking the words right out of Marinette’s mouth. “That’s the longest I’ve seen Murder Goose not try to murder me.”
At that, Marinette tilted her head curiously. “You named him Murder Goose?”
Red Hood reeled his head back as if struck. “What? No. That was… Someone else, the name just stuck.”
“And you seem to have the same determination to hide your identity as our resident heroine does.” Mademoiselle Oie continued as if Marinette and Red Hood hadn’t spoken. “A pity really. Makes my job of fulfilling my end of the bargain with Papillon so much more difficult. I don’t suppose I can simply ask you to take your helmet off?” She asked Red Hood, “Or hand over your miraculous?” She addressed Marinette.
Red Hood grunted. “Alright, I think I’ve heard enough. You’re the one who sicced that bird on me and teleported me to- Where is this place again?”
“Paris.” Marinette helpfully supplied.
“ Fuckin’ Paris? I’m gonna have to call B to pick me up? You know what, with the day I’m having I’m not even surprised.” He took that as an opportunity to aim his gun directly at Mademoiselle Oie’s face, who simply smiled at the man threatening her. “And you are going down for that.”
“Don’t kill her!” Marinette snapped out before he could fire. “She’s a pawn. One of Papillon’s brainwashed victims, she’s innocent. If we break that pendant on her staff, his control over her will break. Then I can get you home when I reverse the damages she’s caused.”
Red Hood didn’t answer for a moment, gun still trained on Mademoiselle Oie. Then he cursed and lowered his weapon. “Can I still shoot the geese?” He asked Marinette.
“Absolutely not!” Mademoiselle Oie squawked indignantly, and raised her staff in preparation for an attack.
“As long as the Akuma that created them are still around, they’re basically indestructible without a cataclysm, so knock yourself out.” Marinette replied as she slotted herself into position beside Red Hood.
When he immediately adjusted his stance to account for her in a fight, Marinette felt a wave of relief crash into her. At least she was going to have some help in all of this.
“Don’t know what a cataclysm is, but I can work with that. You got a name, Spots?”
“Ladybug.”
“Fitting. Shall we?”
A wide grin stretched across Marinette’s face. “We shall.”
And with that, the two of them leaped forward into battle. Side by side.