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Cold wet hair was plastered against his head. After a long training session trying to put his guilt behind him, Oscar was glad to have a shower. Unused to always having hot water he only used it for a short time before switching over to cold. More than once the habit had earned him odd looks from his friends but no one commented.
Today he had been training alone. Unable to face the others or James. Guilt was eating at him for lying to James. Hiding the truth as they were made them no better than Oz. This only compounded his guilt over what happened with his resident wizard. No matter how hard he tried to apologize the other never replied.
Did Ozpin hate him? Did James hate him because Ozpin wasn't there to guide them? Would he hate Oscar if he told the man the truth? If he did Oscar wished the man would just yell at him?
So lost in his own thoughts he didn't hear footsteps approaching. He was startled by a hand touching his shoulder followed by a gentle voice asking, "Oscar are you okay?"
Looking up he found friendly blue eyes looking down at him. James... the friendliness it hurt. It hurt knowing that he was lying to the man. Someone who simply wanted to help.
Oscar had agreed like the others to follow Ruby's lead but this felt wrong. All of this felt wrong.
"Oscar?"
Oscar flinched moving away from the hand unconsciously. Reluctantly James pulled away hurt crossing his face. For a moment they just stared at each other.
Oscar whispered pained, "I'm sorry."
"About what Oscar?"
Oscar stepped back. A dark look crossed his face he couldn't say what was bothering him. He promised. But looking at James he felt his resolve crack. The man seemed so earnest in wanting to help.
Was this Ozpins's memories and experience affecting him? That would make sense. James had been part of Ozpin's inner circle. Just like Qrow.
James said softly, "Oscar you don't have to tell me what's wrong. But if you need someone to talk to. I am here for you."
Oscar's dark look faded and exhaustion replaced it. His jaw worked up and down as he tried to make a decision. Then the chance to talk was gone. James's scroll pinged and he pained.
James sighed, "Duty calls. Are you sure you don't want to talk Oscar?"
Mutely he shook his head. For now, he could not bring himself to speak. Maybe another time.
...
That evening found him roaming the halls of the Academy. Since Ozpin left he found it next to impossible to sleep. His only solace was that he had been able to speak to Ruby earlier. She had listened to his concerns about not telling James the entire truth. To his surprise, she even gave him the okay to tell James if that's what he believed was right. If he didn't she would continue to wait until she was absolutely sure he could be trusted.
That back the dilemma of whether or not to tell him. On one hand Ruby was trusting him to make the right decision. On the other, if he said nothing then he was no better than Oz. Now he wished he had kept his mouth shut then he wouldn't have to make the choice.
So lost in his thoughts he didn't realize his feet brought him to James's office until the door opened. Surprised blue eyes stared down at him for a moment. Immediately he dropped his gaze down onto the floor. He missed the way questions flitted across his face but stayed unasked. He didn't want to push Oscar but he was curious as to why he was there.
"Can I talk to you about something?" Questioned Oscar without looking up from his feet.
Nodding James stepped back and allowed Oscar in and shut the door behind them. He then moved towards the cabinets as he said, "You can sit Oscar. It's just us in here. Coffee or hot chocolate?"
"Hot chocolate, please," murmured Oscar as he went to sit in the chair in front of James's desk.
James hummed thoughtfully as he made two cups. After a few moments, he came over and handed one to Oscar before taking his own seat. They both sipped on their respective drinks for a few moments. The silence was no longer as uncomfortable as it had been before.
Oscar broke the silence when his cup was only half full, "We haven't exactly been completely honest with you."
"I know."
Oscar blinked, "You do?"
James chuckled slightly, "Oscar it was obvious that they weren't telling me everything. I have known Qrow a long time and can tell when he is trying to hide something from me. After everything that happened at Heaven, I'm not surprised you were reluctant to trust again. I hope though that I have proven you can place your trust in me."
Oscar took another sip of his hot chocolate considering what James had said. He had known they weren't telling him everything. Yet he still welcomed them with open arms and even given the teams their huntsman licenses. That... that made his decision for him. He couldn't keep hiding things. James needed to know the truth.