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Akira stood behind LeBlanc's counter as he took in Goro's smile. His beautiful smile. There was something about it that made his heart absolutely sing. Maybe it was the fact that he gave it so freely or perhaps the fact that he had worked so hard for it. Whatever the reason, Akira couldn't quite find it in himself to wipe the grin off his own face.
"North would be... that way," Goro's voice said, soft and kind. There was none of the inauthentic tones of the Detective Prince. No mask to hide something dark and hateful beneath. No, this Goro showed exactly who he was. He had the freedom to be open and happy. The freedom to allow himself to have good things.
"Akira?" Akira suddenly looked up. He locked eyes with Goro for just a second before the detective bashfully turned away. He tucked a strand of hair behind his ear as his gaze remained firmly in his lap. "Could I um- get a refill?" All Akira could do was nod, stricken by how cute this version of Goro was.
When Akira made Goro another coffee, he brought it to him, somehow avoiding the chaos around them. Of course... He knew why no one so much as bumped him.
"Oh, thank you Akira." Goro looked up at him with a bright smile. His cheeks had a light dusting of pink. "I would have gotten up and grabbed this myself."
"It's fine," Akira took the opportunity to lean on the booth's table. Goro didn't back away from Akira's intrusion in his space, instead he seemed to get flustered by it. "I wanted to be a little closer to you anyways."
"I-I see..." Goro turned his gaze down to the coffee. "Thank you."
"It's no problem," Akira reached out and gingerly rested his hand on Goro's. When Goro looked back at him, his eyes absolutely full of a mix of joy and affection, Akira knew he made the right choice.
While having everyone around was fun, it got tiring very quickly. As much as Akira loved his friends, sometimes it was nice to just be with one person...
"It's your move, Akira," Goro said with a smile that was downright infectious, even if Akira somewhat missed the edge it always used to have. Still, the fact that Goro was even around more than made up for it.
Akira looked down at the board. He thought for a moment before moving his bishop. "Check."
"Interesting move," Goro swiftly captured the piece. Akira's heart began to race when he turned to him with a smug grin. "Although I can't say it was a good one." Goro moved his knight before the saccharine smile from before returned. This time, there was the slightest hint of mockery in Goro's gaze. "Checkmate."
"You're too good at this," Akira mumbled as he reset the pieces. When he looked back at Goro, he was wearing an odd look. "Are you okay?"
Slowly, he nodded. It took another second for his smile to come back, almost as if he had to reboot himself. "Of course," Goro waved him off. "Would you like to play another round?"
The next round was much easier. Something seemed to be distracting Goro which allowed Akira to easily win. It left a sour taste in his mouth.
On Valentine's day, Akira found himself in LeBlanc with Sojiro. More customers than usual came through the door, most of them in pairs. Even Ann and Shiho stopped by to grab a coffee and ask about his plans for the day.
When the shop closed, Sojiro said his goodbyes and went home to Wakaba and Futaba. It left Akira wondering if their relationship had changed in this reality. Maybe it was none of his business...
As Akira wiped down the counters, there was a knock on the door. He looked up, a grin immediately spreading across his face when he saw Goro. His cheeks were a bright red, perhaps from the cold, and he held something behind his back.
Akira immediately let him in. When he did, he noticed that whatever Goro was hiding was colorful. He also noticed how cute Goro was when he tried to stop Akira from seeing what he had.
"What brings you here so late?" Akira asked as he made his way back to the counter. He started a cup of coffee, knowing Sojiro wouldn't mind. Besides, Goro probably needed to warm up. "It's rude to make me stay after hours, you know."
Goro scoffed. "As if you had plans tonight."
"You don't know," Akira grinned as he leaned in. "Maybe I had a hot date."
"I hope not."
"What-"
Goro revealed a small bouquet of flowers. Red dahlias and white lilies came together in a nice looking display. Unfortunately, Akira couldn't help the way his heart dropped at the sight.
Betrayal. Lies. Deception-
"Akira?" Goro's voice broke through the sudden dread. The look on his face was so uncertain. "Do you not like them?"
"No! They're beautiful Goro, I just..." Akira put on his best smile. It didn't seem to fool him. "What do they mean?"
"Love and purity... At least, they should unless I got the meaning wrong..." Goro suddenly frowned. "Did I make a mistake?"
Akira shook his head. "Not at all." He was probably remembering wrong. Or maybe it was an honest mistake. It didn't mean anything. It couldn't mean anything. Not with the declawed version of Goro he'd gotten... "They're beautiful Goro, I love them."
Goro absolutely beamed as Akira took the bouquet from him. "I'm so happy to hear that," Suddenly, his demeanor changed. He turned his gaze to the counter, unable to meet Akira's eyes. "There was another thing I came here for... I was wondering if you would want to go out on a date..."
"Goro," Akira placed the flowers down so that he could grab his hands. A warm feeling made itself known as Goro's eyes met his. "I would love to."
"Do you know what your plans are after highschool?" Akira looked at Goro, slightly confused by the sudden question. Goro noticed and gave a sheepish smile. "Sorry, I've just had it on my mind a lot lately. I'm graduating soon and then there's college to worry about..."
"Yeah, must be hard."
"Oh, it's nothing I can't handle," Goro rested an elbow on the counter. "I know it sounds like an odd complaint but... I have so many opportunities ahead of me. It makes it difficult to know what to do."
"What do you want to do?"
Goro paused for a moment to think. "I... I still have an interest in criminal justice but..." He frowned slightly. "It can be so busy. I feel like I'd never get the chance to see anyone..." A light blush made its way to Goro's cheeks. "And I want to have enough time to spend with you."
Akira gave a sympathetic smile. "Sounds tough..." He grabbed Goro's hand in an attempt to reassure him. "I want you to have time too... But I also want you to be happy and doing something you like."
"Yes, that's important," Goro turned his gaze elsewhere.
"I kinda wish we could do this whole college thing together." Goro suddenly turned to him. "Seems like it would make things a lot easier."
"I agree..." Goro suddenly stood, his smile firmly back in its place. "I should get going, I have a few things to take care of before my internship ends." Akira watched Goro leave LeBlanc with a strange feeling in his chest.
The next time Akira saw him, he announced his gap year and plans to go freelance. Akira wasn't sure he liked how the news made him feel.
Akira leaned his head on Goro's shoulder as an old Featherman movie played on the tv. It was... nice. That was certainly a way to describe it.
Nice.
"Akira?" Goro lightly shook him. "Are you still awake?"
"Yeah..." Akira smiled at Goro but it felt hollow.
"It's getting late. Maybe I should be-"
"Why don't you stay the night?" Akira grabbed Goro's hand. "It's been a while since I've had anyone over and... It gets really quiet at night."
For a moment, Goro didn't answer. For a moment, Akira thought that maybe he would say no. There was a bit of excitement that came with dread. Both were quickly extinguished when Goro turned to him with a soft smile.
"Of course," He pulled Akira into a hug. It was very nice. "I'd love to keep you company."
Akira sat across from Goro in Jazz Jin. His favorite singer stood at the stage, jazz tunes lazily drifted through the air. Goro seemed happy as he drank his mocktail. Akira hoped he gave off that impression as well.
"I'm having a good time," Akira looked up from his drink with a forced smile. Goro didn't seem to notice but that was okay. It was fine. "Are you?"
"Yeah," Goro's face lit up. Akira took another sip of his drink, opting to focus on the swirls of green and blue rather than the beautiful boy in front of him. "Um... happy birthday."
"Birthday..." Goro trailed off, a frown suddenly crossed his face. "I..." Akira could feel his heart speed up as something seemed to happen. Some sort of struggle.
"What's wrong?" Akira asked, almost feeling bad about how much he wanted something to happen. Anything to happen.
"It's..." Goro shook his head. Akira leaned in, ready for yelling, a furious lecture, a glare, anything to add some sort of excitement. "Sorry... What were we talking about?"
"Your birthday," Akira said with maybe a little too much desperation. "You were about to say something about it."
"Oh," Goro's frown... changed. It became less severe. Less real. "I remember, I was just thinking... I don't know when your birthday is... It's a little odd, we've known each other for a year and yet-"
"It's fine," Akira turned back to his drink in an attempt to hide the bitter disappointment clawing away at him. "I never told you."
"But I feel bad, you're doing something nice for my birthday but I missed your last one."
"That's fine, it's... in February," He looked at Goro one last time, hoping he could get something out of him. "February second actually."
Instead of remembering, Goro simply flashed him an empty smile. "Next year, I'll do something special to make up for it."
"Thanks..."
"Would you like to come to the aquarium with me tomorrow?" Akira lazily looked up from his homework. "I remember we went around this time last year but your journalist friend interrupted us..."
"I'm busy tomorrow," Akira lied as he turned back to his work. Even after missing an entire month of school, nothing even got close to challenging. "Lala-chan asked me to help out at Crossroads."
"Oh... That's okay. Maybe another time."
Akira looked up and noticed the disappointment on Goro's face. He tried to ignore the way it made his chest ache.
Strong arms held Akira close. It felt so wrong. Even worse was the change of location. Sitting in Goro's sterile apartment with him was awful. He hated how bare it was but he highly doubted that having fake photos on the walls would have made anything better.
"Akira?" Akira leaned his head back so that he could see Goro's face. "You're so quiet lately... Is everything okay?"
"Why wouldn't it be?" Goro's eyes flashed with concern. A single weak smile seemed to dispel it easily enough. "You're happy, why shouldn't I be happy too?"
"As long as you're okay..." Goro pulled him closer. Akira couldn't help but feel that he was suffocating. He could hardly fight the instinct to shove him away.
"Um, Goro," The name felt like acid on his tongue. The real one would have never allowed him to call him that. "I think I need to stretch my legs."
"Go ahead," Goro let go but it didn't make it any easier to breathe. "Do you want me to come-"
"Just stay here."
Instead of putting up a fuss about being bossed around in his own home, Goro simply nodded with his empty smile. Akira hated it. He hated all of this but especially the shell sitting idly on the couch. This thing wasn't Akechi. It was once but not anymore. Now he was more like a toy than anything, nothing more than the puppet he'd feared he would become.
It was laughable really. Why was he the only one still awake? How did he manage to be the only one to retain his agency? Where the hell was his happiness? Why was he still forced to shoulder the responsibility for this when Maruki promised he'd end his suffering?
Akira dug his nails into his palm to ignore the feeling of eyes drilling into the back of his head. Empty eyes that held none of the spark that they used to. Soulless eyes he'd traded for some false happiness. He couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't do this anymore.
Akira chose the first room he saw as an escape from those eyes. Goro didn't say a word as he entered his bedroom without permission. He didn't utter a single protest as he stomped all over his privacy. Maybe he'd been expecting it. After all, he'd done the same to his autonomy.
Out of the corner of his eye, Akira saw Goro's briefcase. The large A was already begining to fade as dust gathered, all of it long forgotten along with his previous self. Akira approached it and grabbed it with shaking hands. This was Akechi's. It was a reminder. A reminder of what he did, what he gave up.
Suddenly, he threw the case to the ground. All the contents scattered across the floor... Including Akechi's old gun. Akira stared at it while it sat on the ground. It was almost innocuous amongst the sea of papers and other junk Akechi had kept on him.
Maruki had overlooked this. The thought was absolutely thrilling as he picked up the weapon. It was absolutely-
"Akira?" Akira whipped around to see Goro's concerned expression. His goddamn empty eyes. He couldn't take it. Akechi didn't want this. He didn't want to live like this. Akira couldn't stand to see him like this.
His hands trembled as he raised the gun. Goro didn't even seem to register. He wasn't aware until Akira pulled the trigger. Until gunpowder and smoke filled the air with a bang. Until his eyes widened. Until red began to pour from his stomach.
For a moment, they both stood there. Everything was absolutely silent until Goro dropped to the ground, clutching his stomach and crying out in agony. Akira threw the gun away and ran to him. He held him close, not caring about the blood that got all over him. The absolutely real blood that poured from Goro's beating heart.
"A-Akira-" Goro looked at him, hurt and betrayed, his eyes filled with tears. Akira could feel his heart break. He felt everything go numb. "W-Why..?"
"I-I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" The engine room came to mind as Akira pulled him close. The smell of rust and exhaust hung heavy in the air.
"Akira... l̵̨̩̱̼̹̙̊e̴͙͈̜̪̯̗̿͠t̵̨̯͑̾̉̌͂̄ ̷̘̏̐̓͂͆m̵̡̡͖̺̣͠ͅë̴̛͚͓́̓͑̿̈́ ̸̰̫͐͊ḋ̵̨̗̉̾i̸̻̺͌̃ē̷̯͇̦̘̟̓̈́͝.̵̧̹̘̺̃͂͜.̵͇͌̃"
"I'm sorry..." He squeezed his eyes closed as the thought of gunshots rang through his mind. He felt sick to his stomach as static rang in his ears. What was wrong with him? "Goro please-"
"-Don't go!" Akira opened his eyes and looked around. He could no longer feel Goro's blood. Goro's body was no longer in his arms. He wasn't even in his apartment anymore.
He was in the nurse's office.
"Kurusu-kun," A voice he hadn't heard since March gently called out to him. Akira looked and found Maruki sitting on one of the white chairs. He looked like he had back when he still worked at Shujin. "I think we need to talk."
"I- Where's Goro?!" Akira tried to stand but his body didn't want to listen to him. "Is he okay?! Is he-" He stopped himself, unable to finish. What the hell had he been thinking?
"He's going to be okay. I'm more worried about you than anything, Kurusu-kun."
"Me? But he's-"
"His wound was purely physical. Yours is a bit more complicated," A gentle smile crossed Maruki's face as he stood. "I've been watching how things have played out over the past few months..."
"I... I'm sorry-"
"You have nothing to apologize for. I think I should have been taking a much more... hands on approach with you Kurusu-kun," Maruki shook his head. "If I had, perhaps I could have stopped you from doing something so drastic."
"Maruki-"
"Are you and Akechi-kun truly that unhappy?"
"N-No! Goro wasn't unhappy, he..." Akira thought back. He remembered warm smiles and gentle touches. He remembered a version of Akechi that was so happy just to be alive. What had he done? How could he have been so blind? "He was always happy... I was too at the start..."
"I see... So then, you did something to make yourself unhappy?"
"What? I-"
"Well, Kurusu-kun, I don't mean to be harsh but if you were happy and now you're not..." Maruki's sympathetic smile never fell. "I haven't been interfering. It must be something that you're doing wrong."
"No-" But, wasn't it? The argument died on his lips. Maruki patiently waited for his response. At some point, he'd stopped enjoying this reality but no one else got tired of it. No one else knew about it either. At some point, he'd grown resentful... But of what? Of the fact that he got bored sometimes? That was no excuse for what he did. This was all his fault. This was all his fault. "Oh god..."
"It's okay Kurusu-kun," Suddenly, Maruki's hand was on his shoulder. "You can still fix this. In fact, I think this might have been exactly what you needed."
"What do you mean?"
"Now you know how, hm, fragile some things can be," Akira looked up at Maruki. He saw his gentle smile, the same one he always wore. The same one he'd grown to trust. "And you know how hard you have to push yourself to preserve this."
Akira nodded along, quickly starting to fee; even worse than before. It was all his fault. He was the reason Goro got hurt. He was the reason they couldn't be happy together... But at least he had a second chance.
"And now you how bad it would be if you were tempted to do something drastic." Maruki's smile widened. "Don't worry Kurusu-kun, lessons were learned all around. I promise not to overlook something as important as this again. And you promise to do better, right?"
"O-Of course-"
"Then, I think you're ready to go back home with Akechi-kun. Don't worry, I'll make sure we both get this right this time."
"Thank you..." Akira felt hollow as he said the words. He felt nothing as the world faded out... But that wasn't right. He was supposed to be happy. He'd make sure he did things right this time. He had to.
"Akira?" Goro shook Akira slightly. Akira opened his eyes to see Goro's warm smile. "Are you up sleepyhead?"
"Goro," Akira jumped up and grabbed him. He pulled him close, drinking in the sound of the other boy's laughter. "Are you okay?"
"Of course," Goro wrapped his hands around Akira's waist and pulled him even closer. "Why wouldn't I be?" Akira closed his eyes and let out a sigh of relief. "Akira..?"
"I love you Goro," Akira forced the words out. He forced meaning into them despite how hollow they felt. How hollow he felt. "I love you so much."
Goro's grip loosened slightly but Akira hardly noticed. He didn't want to. All he wanted to do was focus on his heartbeat. On the fact that the boy he loved was alive and well. That he had to do whatever it took to not mess this up again. All of it distracted him enough to miss the uneasy tone in Goro's voice. "...I love you too."