Chapter Text
Technoblade loved Greek mythology.
Unfortunately, there weren’t that many Greek tales due to the Ancient Greeks being, well, dead.
After going through all the Greek mythology he could find he moved onto the next best thing: Fantasy. To his delight, many fantasy authors often incorporated Greek myths into their stories. And while it was a far cry from the original thing, it was better than nothing.
He had a good couple of months scouring the internet for fantasy books with Greek heroes in the title or review claiming they loved the book because it took inspiration from Greek mythology.
It wasn’t a surprise that he eventually stumbled upon online comics. With everything being done on the internet nowadays, many comics have become mainly online exclusive.
So when eventually books could not satisfy his devouring of everything with the barest hint of Greek mythology, he moved to online comics. He became very invested in the many fantasy manhwa he could find on the internet.
It wasn’t amazing or anything, but every so often there was a manhwa he genuinely enjoyed, and eventually it didn’t even matter whether or not there were any Greek tales in the comic at all.
However, wherever there are stories, there are also cliches.
And a cliche he despised was: Female protagonist meets an edgy tyrant bad boy and they fall in love and she fixes him :D.
Blegh.
Some of the comics he enjoyed had a typical romance but at least most male leads had an actual personality! Sure the female lead could be a bit bland at points, but you could see why they fell for the male lead. But with the edgy tyrant bad boy their main personality trait was being sad and honestly, Technoblade found it a bit pathetic.
Like your tragic backstory is very sad but this girl ain’t gonna fix you. Get some therapy instead.
Wilbur said Technoblade resembles the edgy tyrant bad boys and he visibly cringed.
“Bruhhh, I don’t even have a tragic backstory.”
“No, but you’re pretty dark and brooding,” Wilbur elaborated.
Over the discord call, Phil squawked with laughter.
“If anything I think you resemble them,” Technoblade fired back. “Mr. My Unfinished Symphony.”
“What?!”
“He’s got you there, mate,” Phil sniggered.
“It was for a bit. It was scripted! Stop laughing old man,” Wilbur yelled.
Technoblade smiled at his friends and got ready to roast Wilbur some more.
Later that night as he was scrolling through manhwa titles he paused as one caught his eye.
A Sun Chariot for Phaethon.
Technoblade nearly bolted up in his bed.
When was the last time he read something with Greek mythology? The title looked promising as he recalled a myth with Phaethon. Phaethon was the Sun God, Helios’s son. The one with the chariot burning up the poor guy to a crisp or something.
Technoblade could see it now. A protagonist gifted something the chariot was a metaphor for, but it’s harmful to him. Just like the sun chariot for Phaethon! This could be a brilliant story full of metaphors and references to the original myth!
He eagerly clicked the title and the hours ticked by as he speed-read the entire first season.
As he lays in bed regretting his life choices, (did he spend the entire night reading, again?) he has to say with wholehearted honesty…
…it sucked.
It was that stupid "angsty king tyrant and the girl that fixes him" cliche.
The main romance was so bad that he actually became more invested in the side characters than the main plot. That was actually why he read the whole thing because the side characters were interesting. He could rant more about what a well-rounded character needs and how they need to have goals other than "kill everybody".
“Beep! Beep! Beep,” his alarm goes off drawing him out of his thoughts.
Urgh, he didn’t even get any sleep.
He groggily sits up and turns it off. He hops off the bed and goes to the kitchen for a glass of water. When his cup is filled he turns to head back to his room.
He rubs his head trying to wake up his sleep-deprived brain and accidentally splashes water onto himself.
“Did I seriously just rub my head with the hand that's holding my cup of water?" Technoblade wonders to himself. "I really need to get some sleep."
He heads back to the kitchen for a second time to refill his glass when he trips over the kitchen island and faceplants into the counter.
“Heh?” he cries out in shock.
He lifts a hand to feel where he hit his head and it comes back wet.
“Is that blood,” he asks himself, squinting at his hand covered in fluid.
His vision blurs and fades to black.
When he wakes up he’s in a sparkly galaxy filled with pink clouds and twinkling stars.
“Did I die? Cringe. Technoblade never dies. Clearly, this is some sort of prank. Can’t fool me though. I mean why would the afterlife look like a magical anime girl transformation sequence?”
“Hello,” a voice greets him from behind.
Technoblade whips around.
Long pink hair, shining blood-red eyes like glowing rubies, and a lacy white musketeer shirt matched with a corset…
..oh, no.
“Anime Technoblade,” he points at the horror-inducing nightmare.
No, no it can’t be. Is he cursed for all eternity to be tortured by that— thing?
He shudders.
“My name is Tessa?”
Technoblade’s brain whirls. He’s heard that name before. “Wait, isn't that the girl from A Sun Chariot for Phaethon?”
“Um, I’m not sure what that is and I'm a bo—”
“You know some guy named er…. Clayton?" Technoblade interrupts. "I think that was his name. Demon King? Tall, dark, and brooding?”
“You just described yourself,” Tessa points out.
Ouch.
“And yes I know of a King Clayton.”
Oh, boy.
“Anyways I don’t have much time to explain so I’ll start right away,” Tessa begins. “I need you to take over my life for me.”
“Heh?!”
The self-insert cliche? No, you can’t do this. Why him?
“I’m sick of my life and I was about to throw myself off the tallest tower when I remembered: I’m rich. So, I prayed to the great goddess I can give someone else a lucky chance to live out life as a royal. My status as a royal won’t go to waste,” Tessa monologues, dramatically wiping a tear. As Tessa talks, she begins to fade from existence. “Goodbye, and may my cursed life be a blessing to you.”
“This seems sort of extreme. Why didn’t you just donate to the poor? Did you really need to have someone to live as you?” Technoblade yells after her. “—And it’s too late she’s already gone.”
He awakes in a soft fluffy bed fit for a king. He looks at his hands, dainty and lady-like.
Technoblade was currently inhabiting the body of the protagonist of "A Sun Chariot for Phaethon".
“Bruhh,” he drawls. He turns back over, burying himself in the covers, falling soundly asleep.
That was a problem for future Technoblade.