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it’s late at night when jaskier sneaks down to the kaer morhen kitchen, searching for food he could take out on the path. this time, however, it would be without geralt.
jaskier knew he has to leave under the cover of darkness, or else he couldn’t bear to go at all. leaving seamlessly was foiled, however, when a figure steps into the kitchen.
“what are you doing?” geralt asks, lighting a torch on the wall with igni.
“packing,” jaskier replies shortly, returning to the cupboards to grab his food for the road.
geralt frowns. “why? where are you going?”
anywhere but here. “i don’t know. away,” jaskier huffs, brushing past geralt to go back to his room.
“is something wrong?” geralt asks.
jaskier doesn’t respond, turning into the hallway and briskly walking away.
of course geralt caught up with him, damn witcher speed, and stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.
“what’s going on?” geralt demands, turning the bard to face him.
“nothing of your concern,” jaskier replies, frustration beginning to boil under the surface.
“it is my concern if you’re sneaking around the keep in the middle of the night.”
“fine, if you must know—i’m leaving kaer morhen, geralt. for good.” jaskier turns to his bed to pack in the food with what little belongings he has left.
“jaskier, what—“
“no, you listen to me,” jaskier snaps, cutting him off. “i’ve given you so many chances—far too many—but this time, you’ve run out. i’m not going to sit here, freezing my ass off in this goddamn keep hoping and waiting for you to come around.”
geralt stands frozen in place, surprised at jaskier’s quick shift into anger, but this was a long time coming.
“it’s not like you even need my company, you already have a family here.”
“is this about yen? we’ve already discussed that there’s nothing between us anymore,” geralt says, stepping closer. “she’s here to help ciri.”
“no, it’s not about yennefer!” jaskier yells, almost reaching his breaking point. “i don’t care who you stick your cock in anymore, this is about you.”
“what about me?”
“don’t act so naïve, geralt. you know exactly what you did when you left me on that mountain.”
“i’ve already apologized for that,” he tries to argue.
“that doesn’t magically make everything better!” jaskier retorts, “and it’s not even just the mountain! it’s everything else you’ve done to me ever since we met!”
geralt fell silent again, confused but knowing that jaskier wasn’t finished.
“it took me nearly a decade to figure out that you don’t actually like me, that you don’t care about me—a decade of my life wasted on you, geralt!” jaskier sniffs, looking away. “and you know what the worst part is?”
geralt watches as jaskier steps closer to him.
“i’d do it all again.”
“jask…” geralt starts, holding the bard’s elbows.
“don’t,” jaskier warns softly, “don’t start with that. it’s not fair.”
geralt looks at him, his amber eyes soft as they meet jaskier’s ocean blue ones before slipping shut.
“i’m sorry,” he whispers, bumping his forehead against jaskier’s.
“i…” jaskier steps back, “i don’t forgive you.”
geralt can feel his own heart stop beating in his chest as jaskier pulls away from his grasp.
“you can’t just hurt me like this and expect things to ever be alright,” jaskier says.
“we can work this out,” geralt huffs, “in the morning though, you’re tired.”
“no, geralt. i’ve made my decision. this is for me, i need to start basing my life on what i want, not blindly trying to make you happy.” jaskier wraps his cloak around his shoulders, picking up his bag and starting for the door.
“wait, jaskier!” geralt calls, following jaskier as he walks briskly out of the keep and into the courtyard.
“if you think you can try to convince me to stay, save your breath,” jaskier says over his shoulder, not looking back. “i’m done with all this.”
“jaskier, please.” geralt’s voice sounds desperate as he tugs at jaskier’s elbow, trying to stop him from leaving the courtyard.
something dark and prideful lights up in jaskier’s chest at the witcher’s tone as he yanks his arm away from geralt’s grip.
“i’d say don’t come after me, but we all know that you wouldn’t anyway,” jaskier chuckles bitterly. “goodbye geralt.”
with that, jaskier steps from kaer morhen’s gates and begins his trek away from the keep. geralt watches as he disappears down the hillside, silently hoping the bard will turn around to spare one last look at him.
he never does.