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"Rose, she'll come back. She always does," Garnet told her, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "There's nothing to worry about."
"Yes, but it's the third time this week. She's being poofed more times than any of us can count. I wish these raids would just stop already..." Rose muttered, clutching Pearl's gem close to her chest. The little gem felt cold and withdrawn against her hands.
"The Diamonds wouldn't leave us off the hook that easily. You know that, Rose. It's only going to get messier here on out." Garnet said. She hesitated when Rose didn't say anything else, only looking at the distance, eyes unfocused and sad. "Come on, let's get back to the base. I'll take Pearl inside the temple and I'll inform you when she gets back. For now, let's regroup."
Garnet extended a hand to Rose, and she only had to hesitate a bit more before she handed the gem back to Garnet. Rose turned to look at her and said, "Go ahead. I'll meet you there." She nodded in response and turned to leave.
Rose leaned back and looked at the twilight sky above her. She pushed her hands deeper in the grass and seated herself at the lush hill where the previous raid took place. It was quite the surprise when a couple of their gem guards ran up to their base that morning and announced that Homeworld has dropped more quartzes near their base. And Rose, ever the present leader, instructed several of the Crystal Gems, including Pearl and Garnet, to ward them off. It was supposed to be just them. They were supposed to handle it off without her. But Rose was left worrying and worrying every minute they had spent longer on the battlefield.
Rose had come in on them, unannounced. She supposed that it was fine since she was their leader. But Pearl was screaming at the sight of her. She yelled for Rose to get back where it's safe; to pull away from the fight.
But Rose didn't listen to her. She wanted to protect their base just as much as she do, after all. There was no harm in it.
In the end, they were successful in scaring the quartzes off, poofing others who were a bit too stubborn. Pearl felt angry at Rose for coming in and she refused to talk to her. Rose was cheering at their success, nonetheless, when a stray quartz sneaked up behind Rose and almost struck her off. Pearl stormed up to her, whilst angrily, just in time to deflect the attack. But she was poofed in return, the quartz pulled an offhand stunt that took their terrifying, renegade Pearl by surprise.
Rose frowned at the thought. Pearl always always had a knack for sacrificing herself for her when she wasn't even worth the trouble. She didn't have to do that. Why did she keep on doing that? It was becoming more frequent with the passing of weeks. Homeworld was putting on more powerful, stronger soldiers to fend off the rebellion. She felt like she wasn't meant to be protected again and again. She's just a Crystal Gem like everyone else. It didn't matter that she was the leader, everyone else was just as important as her.
She was nothing compared to Pearl. She doesn't deserve her protection all the same. She was...
Childish. Immature. Ineffective…
Troublesome. Mediocre…
White's thundering voice echoed at the back of her mind. Rose shook her head, willing it away. She's not like that in this body. Right now, she is Rose Quartz. Not Pink. Not a Diamond.
But her being a Diamond was all the more reason she doesn't deserve any special treatment. Especially not from Pearl.
"Rose!"
It was already nighttime and she was busy instructing the other Crystal Gems to store up any weapons that were left from past raids when Garnet had run up to her. Rose dismissed the gems before turning to her, expecting to receive news.
"Yes?"
"Pearl's back."
Finally. "Where is she? I need to talk to her," Rose asked, already walking away.
"Back at the temple... But, Rose?" Garnet called the moment Rose started taking off to the temple. She stopped and turned back to Garnet.
"Yes?"
"Just… take it easy on her," Garnet responded, a tiny glint just noticeable behind the shining glasses.
Rose nodded. "I will."
Rose turned the corner to the temple when she saw Pearl just walking away in the opposite direction. She quickly ran up to her, quickening her pace. Pearl was so swift when she wanted to.
"Pearl!" she called out when she knew she was in earshot.
But Pearl just ignored her and kept on walking briskly, hastily away. Rose struggled to keep up.
"Pearl!" she repeated, louder.
She could see Pearl clenching both her fists tightly at her sides. Frustration was bubbling up inside Rose. Why was she ignoring her?
"Pearl."
"Rose, stop it," Pearl replied, her voice constrained.
Rose quickened her pace. "We need to talk," she said, grabbing her hand for her to stop.
Pearl finally turned around. Her face was all scrunched up, like there was something rising to the surface, ready to blow. Her lower lip trembled slightly. "No, you need to talk. Why were you even there at the fight, Rose? We had it under control."
Rose took in a sharp breath, aghast. "I have the right to fight just as much as you! Is it that bad I wanted to help?"
"Yes! You're the leader of the Crystal Gems. You can't be in the fight!" Pearl argued, voice rising, eyes glistening.
"Well, what about you? I didn't ask for you to sacrifice yourself for my sake! You can't always protect me, Pearl," Rose countered.
Pearl wiped up the tears angrily. Her voice trembled. "I can. I should. It's the reason why I'm here. Why don't you just let me do this for you?!"
"Then, who will protect you?!" Rose shouted angrily.
Pearl looked away. "That doesn't matter."
"Yes, it does! Do you think you can just poof yourself over and over again just for my sake? I'm not having it, Pearl. What if you get shattered?" Rose nearly shouted.
Pearl scoffed. "I won't get shattered."
"You don't know that, Pearl! These battles are getting much more difficult to handle. What more when the actual fight comes? Yellow is getting impatient."
"It's fine. You're much more important," Pearl said.
Rose raised her hands to pull at her hair frustratingly. "No, I'm not, Pearl! I'm just as well as the other gems! You are not dying on my account! Stop protecting me!"
"Rose, please, don't you see?" Pearl pleaded before she looked around them quickly, making sure that the two of them were alone. There was nothing but the seagulls flapping across the beach. The waves were splashing along aggressively. She dropped her voice for good measure. "You are a Diamond. If you get poofed and you get found out, all of this — " she gestured wildly around her " — all our planning, our escapes, all of everything, will all have to be for naught. We can't lose because of this, Rose."
But Rose wasn't listening. She stomped her foot irritatingly as she nearly shouted, "Then I don't want to be a Diamond! Let me cease to exist!"
The last words of her statement echoed around the beach. Everything went quiet and the only thing that could be heard was the waves crashing vigorously across the sand. The seconds rolled on to minutes. The seagulls went silent, too, as if they were included in the argument, and were standing stock still, waiting for either of them to make a move. To say something.
Pearl was looking at Rose in a mixture of expressions. Disbelief, hurt, sorrow, heartbreak. Rose was not having Pearl look at her like that. Like she was something pitiful. She doesn't need this.
"Rose..."
There was a screeching noise in her ears as she stormed away from her. She seated herself just inches away from where the water met the sand and distracted herself by looking at the horizon. She felt like taking back everything she had said. Now she had done it. She had admitted out loud, admitted to herself even, that she despised herself. That she's nothing to herself.
She could hear the soft, thin steps moving across the sand towards her. She felt Pearl sitting down beside her, not too close to touching, not too far for comfort. After all their arguing, she still sat upright and prim, as would any Pearl for that matter. Rose sat hunched and heavy.
They both sat like that for a long while. A Diamond and her Pearl, toeing in between the role s of their respective gems and stripping into their vulnerable selves. To something real and very earthly.
It went on like ages. The stars were starting to show. They winked at them kindly. The waves were calming down to become smooth surfaces.
The silence stopped when Pearl fidgeted nervously on the sand. She muttered quietly, "I'm sorry."
Rose looked at her. Pearl, ever so Pearl, was always the first one to apologize. "What?"
Pearl sighed. "I know that you're just looking out for me like I am for you. I didn't mean for you to feel like you're not worth protecting — "
"That is not on you, Pearl," interrupted Rose.
" — No, listen. Believe me when I tell you that I am protecting you of my own accord. You are special to me, Rose. You are the one who made me as I am today. Not a restricted Pearl, not a servant, not anything of Homeworld. You taught me how to be myself. You brought me out of Homeworld. You made me feel... things that I haven't felt before. Never before in my life have I had something so special to me as this planet does. As you do. And I want to protect it. I want to protect you, Rose, because you showed me love and kindness and curiosity and so many bright things in the world. I love you for that," Pearl said, looking up at Rose with a tearful smile. Her eyes glistened up at her, making it all the more genuine.
Rose dropped her gaze. She couldn't afford to see Pearl look at her like that. Like something to be respected, to be revered. "It's just that... Pearl, I don't think you should look so highly at me like that. I'm not worth it—"
Pearl grabbed her right hand and held it close in between her hands. "Yes, you are, Rose. If it weren't for you, we wouldn't have discovered this planet."
"But, Pearl, if you hadn't told me that I could shapeshift and be with the Amethysts, we wouldn't have gotten here... You know me, I'm just trying to have a little bit of fun. I'm always trying to have fun out of everything."
"That's not so bad, is it? There's nothing wrong with that," Pearl reassured, inching her face close to Rose's. Rose felt like she had the entire world just being here, with Pearl. She had a sliver of a glint in her eye at what she said next. "But, if you think that, well then, I thank the stars for your bubbly," she kissed Rose's hand "inquisitive," she kissed it again, Rose was giggling now "cheerful," she peppered kisses down her arm "playful nature if it means I get to be with you here." She smiled, and Rose was giggling, a pink blush coloring her cheeks.
It was the single, most beautiful thing Pearl has ever heard. Rose's laugh. The many, many curls of her hair shook with her every breath and it looked magnificent under the moonlight. Her laugh lit up the entire world, brighten up the stars, cooled down the beach. Pearl wanted to keep it safe forever, and ever, and ever, and ever.
Rose breathed, "Oh, Pearl. My Pearl..." Pearl had always felt the tingling, jittery feeling every single time she used that nickname. "What would I ever do without you..."
Pearl was smirking. "Nothing. Utterly nothing. You wouldn't be able to survive going back to Homeworld if it weren't for my gem hiding your sword. Yellow would go mad nuts if she saw it lying around. We couldn't have that, now, could we?"
Rose was laughing again. And Pearl was laughing with her. And the two gems felt whole and complete again. What a great and wonderful thing it was for the ability to talk things through and make yourself a hundred, no, a thousand times better than before, Rose thought. Never in a million years could she have felt like this back at Homeworld.
Her laughter calmed down and Rose was cupping her other hand on Pearl's cheek, pulling her closer. Pearl was still giggling and Rose was smiling at the sight. Her eyes were the most brilliant blue she had ever seen. It felt like she was sinking onto it like a deep, deep dive to the ocean...
She closed her eyes and leaned in for a kiss. Rose felt the electric surge zooming throughout her light-built body at the contact. It always never felt old, kissing. It still felt like new every single time. The new feeling of jitters and excitement nothing else but a kiss could make her feel.
It was a chaste kiss. But Rose was soon kissing Pearl's face up and down, across her cheeks, on her forehead. Pearl was laughing again, tickled by her kisses.
And they were lying down on their backs on the soft sand. Their hands were intertwined together and Pearl was leaning her head against Rose's shoulder, pulling her body close to hers. Rose leaned her head against Pearl. They never had any warmth in their bodies. Not really. But being close together like this, they both felt like real warmth was coursing through them against the cold, shivering night.
Pearl was twirling her finger around Rose's perfect, pink curls. She always did like touching them when it was just the two of them, Rose noticed. She watched her play with them and comb them against her slender fingers.
She felt the most peaceful right here, in a long time…
"Pearl?" she whispered.
Pearl hummed in reply.
"I still don't feel good with you getting poofed over and over again for me…" Rose admitted.
Pearl smiled. There was still no helping it, then. "All right. I promise to be more careful in our next battles. I probably need to train my sword technique more for that. Maybe we need more sparring practice, you think?" She tilted her face up at Rose.
"Hmm. Yeah, okay. We could do that," Rose responded, smiling again. But it was never enough for Pearl. Rose knew that she would come and go, again and again, sacrificing herself for her. It was just her way…
"Perfect," Pearl said. Then, she squeezed Rose's hand. "But, Rose. Please promise me that you would get out of harm's way if you can. You know how crucial it is for you not to get found out."
Rose nodded. "Okay, I promise."
She pulled their intertwined fingers and put them across her torso. Pearl shifted closer too, her other arm clinging against Rose's…
"Bismuth?"
Rose approached the blacksmith gem the next day inside the armory. She was a bit nervous, she had to admit. It was the first time she was going to request something like this to the gem. But she knew that she had to if she was going to protect herself better. So that Pearl wouldn't have to sacrifice herself so openly for her anymore if she could help it.
Bismuth was busy hammering a new silver sword when she came in. The heat from the lava made the atmosphere warm and hot. The gem stopped once she heard Rose.
"Yes, Rose? What do you need?" Bismuth turned, always ready to be of service.
Rose pursed her lips. "I was wondering if you could create a sword for me, Bismuth…"