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Michael Underscore Beloved Innit XD was up to VERY IMPORTANT BUISNESS! This was the MOST important kind of business. EVER! Ever ever in the history of a really long time, probably.
He was doing the single-handedly most important thing of his young, brief life on this big ball of rock we call Earth. It was so important that he had made it EXPLICITLY CLEAR to his whole family that he was NOT to be interrupted EVER not ONCE at ALL. ...or else there would be VERY BAD TYPE OF CONSEQUENCES! yeeeeess....
The stage was set. He was in his room, his innermost sanctum of BIG THOUGHTS and GREAT IDEAS(the best). And he...was...ready.
He picked up the first figure. It was a simple Barbie doll with short blonde hair and blue eyes. It was dressed up in a frilly white wedding gown that was covered in gray lace. Very pretty, vey nice. The other two were a ceramic goat figurine with little blue dragon wings glued on the back and a stick. Just...just a stick. Big ol' sticky sort of stick. Half black, half white with silly little googly eyes stuck on the top below a tinfoil crown. Michael picked it up in his other hand.
It was time!!! for art,,,
Michael cleared his mind. Cleared his throat. He allowed the wisdom of the cosmos to flow into his, for the divine muses to inspire this performance, this,,,masterpiece,,,,
He began.
"Tommyinnit, you a prettiest boy on the S-EM-PEE!" He wiggled the stick about to indicate that it was the one speaking. Yes. A proper, strong wiggle. A wiggle-waggle, even. The kind that made the googly eyes go all which ways all funny like. Yes good.
The plastic hand of the Barbie went up to his lips as Michael gasped dramatically. Or the doll gasped, rather. He was but the director of this grand bit of artistry. Nothing more.
"Oh! Why, thank you, Mister Beloved!" The doll answered in a high-pitched voice as Michael bounced it up and down.
The stick wiggled again, shyly this time. "Will you accompany me and my husband to the m-mysterious wedding today?"
The doll did not answer. It had to think. He had to think.
Such an important question! Vital, even! Would he, wouldn't he? Who was to say.
Michael. Michael was to say, for he was god to these tiny little toy people. His word was law, NAY, it was REALITY!
He narrowed his eye and readied the doll's slow, drawn-out response. "N-nnnnoo."
GASP! Shock! HORROR. The stick flailed, eyes googling about all which ways as it frantically searched for reason. "Buh-but Tommyinnit, we loooove you!"
"I...love you, too." The doll's head looked down, shameful. Bashful, mayhaps? It looked back up, confident now. "I love you too. I looooove you!"
The stick rejoiced. "Marry us, Tommyinnit!"
Another pause. MORE betrayal!
"...no."
A gasp. "WHY?!"
As Michael's grand play went on, a small crowd gathered outside his bedroom door. Tubbo and Ranboo peered inside to watch their child play. Tommy joined them, donned in his ever so lovely "I just killed my husband" bathrobe. Very nice, good for he! XD popped in and also decided to witness the spectacle in all its glory.
They all watched with bated breath to see how it would end. Michael had the doll lean back slightly as its hand returned to its mouth.
"I...I don't love you. Whoopsieeeees!"
The stick wept to the heavens! To the stars! To the universe almighty and forever cruel! It tossed its googly eyes back as it screamed out its desperate cry to the grand beyond. "tOMMYINNIIIIIIIIIT!"
The crowd all gasped in unison. Such,,,such acting! Such prose! Such skilled use of verse and voice to convey such raw intensity! It was inspired. Truly inspired. Kristen herself popped in next to XD, eyes wide as she witnessed the madness and downward spiral farther therein unfold. Drista was there now, also. She had popcorn. Of course.
"I am in love with another." The doll's confession was accompanied by a sharp turn to the left.
The stick and goat were now both in Michael's hand, and he wiggled them about with GREAT FORCE as they shouted in high-pitch, desperate voices. They needed answers. They needed to know the name of the filthy nave that would be ROBBING THEM of their TRUE BELOVED! Who? Who was it? Who needed to suffer and who needed to bleed for their crime(boys) against enderman-goat dragon boy-anity? Who, dammit, WHO?!
They cried out in unison. "WHO IS THIS MAN?!?"
"he..."
The audience leaned forward as the doll turned back to face the grieving souls before it.
"is..."
They leaned further. Eret, Puffy and Georgenotfound had all joined in with witnessing the spectacle. They all waited. The heavens watched from up high.
The doll finished its declaration with a single word. Followed by a simple sentence.
"You. I love you!"
The audience cheered as the stick and goat were thrust upwards with great force. Michael waved them about, joy and jubilance adorning his face. The toys both came back down and proposed once more. "Marry us, Tommyinnit!"
The doll stood still. For a moment, so too did the world. "No."
Outcry. RAGE! Fury and sorrow flowed from the spectators, of which Jordan Sparklez himself was among. They all cried as the stick and goat thrashed in agony at the PAIN and TORMENT of the turbulent thing we are damned to call LIFE!
"TOMMYINNIIIIIIIT!"
"I'm in love with your brother." The doll confessed with a breathy cry.
The goat shook angrily as the stick was left to fall to the floor in grief. Face down, googly eyes now BLIND TO REALITY. Woe. WOE TO GOOLY EYE STICKBOO!
"CHAD?!" The goat shrieked as Tubbo instantly flinched back and punched a hole through the wall the second he heard that dreadful, ugly name. Everyone gave him kinda a weird look cuz like,,,,yea,,,kinda weird. "I'LL KILL 'EM WHEN I FIND HIM!"
Michael got up for a sec. He walked over, picked up Shroud, and gently plopped him on the floor next to him. The spider baby blinked and tilted his head, clearly confused as to why he was moved so suddenly. With careful hands, Michael moved his brother's arms about to have him be holding the doll. Shroud hissed quietly and looked at it, then smiled as he hugged it close to his chest. Michael smiled and picked the remaining two toys up to resume the production.
"Or, he will find YOU!" He bellowed in his itty-bitty baby voice.
The stick was in the thralls of grief. The goat would have to handle things from here. "Chad?!"
Chad(Shroud) moved his little chuddy baby arms up and down as he used his other four to hug the doll close. He explained his devious deeds and evilly evil plan with a soft babble, which Michael had to translate into discernable English. "The mysterious wedding has been our wedding all along! Tommyinnit and I are getting wed at the wedding today. YOU are not invited. Wil you be my best men?"
Bitter. Bitter sour and rancid defeat. Such sorrow, Such heavy grief and hollow burden. The audience was in shambles. There was no hope, not life, no point to existence in such a loveless, joyless word. The goat bowed its head and muttered deeply. "Of course brother. I hate you so much."
Shroud flopped over onto his side and giggled. Michael scooped him up and carefully moved him back to his precious location, smiling through the pain all the while. Chad got the last laugh. Chad always got the last laugh.
"Goodbye, brother! I'll see you at the bachelor party!"
The doll, shameful in its silence, spoke a final adieu. "Goodbye, Ranboo and Tubbo Underscore Beloved. I will always love you."
A final frail, broken whisper before the curtain closed.
"Tommyinnit....."