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Tuesday
For some sort of stalker in the night, Alex wasn’t particularly suave.
That was the entire fucking problem. They were perfectly good at being a vampire; no, scratch that, they were great at it. You never even saw them - there was just a pain in your neck and everything went black. They were a vampire and they were fucking amazing at it.
But certain people (cough, cough, Rex Roofer, who was all ‘traditional’ and thought far too highly of himself) seemed to think they lacked certain… vampirical qualities.
Such as, seducing their prey.
Which was very stupid. Incredibly stupid. Who even needed to do that? The whole point of being a vampire was to drink blood, kill a bunch of people, and turn a few. They weren’t there to fulfill some human’s twisted fantasy.
But Alex had been drunk and Rex was being annoying. So here they were, on a bet, attempting to seduce Mx. Vampire Slayer themselves. Morgan. They were pretty impressive, as vampire hunters go; they’d actually managed to live past eighteen. They wouldn’t be living much longer, unfortunately.
It was a bit of a shame. They were very attrac-
Nevermind.
When Morgan finally took off that stupid waiter uniform, Alex watched them leave the restaurant. Morgan was scowling. It had been a bad night (filled with creepy customers and angry people with too much time on their hands) and that burden wasn’t one to be easily shrugged off, no matter how often they had to endure it.
They wouldn’t have to endure those particular customers again, though. Alex made sure of that.
Who said murder couldn’t be romantic?
“Uh… are you okay?” A voice broke through Alex’s thoughts.
Well, shit.
Morgan stood in front of Alex, a bit wide-eyed. That probably had something to do with the fact that they were covered in blood (of Morgan’s enemies, but it was probably better if they didn’t realize that). Or maybe it was the particularly over dramatic makeup they had chosen for vampire slayer seduction! A bloodthirsty monster could hope.
Then Morgan sighed, grabbing a stake almost out of nowhere. “Where did it go?”
“Uh, I- it?” Alex stuttered, their tongue twisting in knots.
“Vampire? Probably kinda ugly.” Ouch . “Also might be why you look… like shit.” Morgan ran their gaze over Alex’s bloodstained body. It wasn’t their blood, but the slayer didn’t need to know that.
“Yeah. Um, that- that thing. Right. It went that way. I think.” Alex jerked their thumb behind them awkwardly.
“Cool. You need medical attention, or can I go?” Morgan grinned, a bit cocky.
“Oh! Yeah. Sorry. You can- I’m fine. You can go.” God damn it, it was like Alex couldn’t even talk today. Which obviously had nothing to do with the very attractive stranger who wanted to kill them.
“See you around,” Morgan said, smiling.
“I- oh. Uh, yeah. Um-” But they were already gone.
Wednesday
Daylight intolerance was a bitch. It was even worse when that asshole of a vampire Rex Roofer kept calling Alex to gloat over how shitty their flirting attempts were.
“It’s called being endearing. Morgan isn’t stupid, they aren’t going to fall head over heels for some creepy hot person. Some of us actually have a personality,” Alex protested.
“When you’re around Morgan, I’m pretty sure your only ‘personality’ is gay panic.”
Alex could practically hear the patronizing smile. “Go fuck yourself, Rex.”
“Maybe you should worry less about who I’m fucking and more about who you’re trying to.”
Alex retched.
Not really, though.
It wasn’t such a bad thought, imagining-
Nevermind.
“Well, fancy seeing you again,” Alex drawled.
And then promptly tripped over their lace dress, landing face first onto a muddy slab of concrete. Wow, a bloody nose. So hot. This would definitely make a great second impression on Morgan. Hooray for being suave.
“Hi? Are you… like, okay?”
“I- yeah. I’m-” Alex made the mistake of glancing up at Morgan mid sentence. Their heart froze, the entire world around them going quiet. Morgan was unassuming, certainly, but those eyes and those lips and-
No, Alex, shut up. You’re the one doing the seducing, not the other way around.
“‘Kay, well, you’ve been staring at me for two minutes and it’s really dark out. I don’t know if you’re some creeper or just concussed,” (Morgan glancing pointedly at the slab of concrete) “but I think I should go.”
“Shit. Sorry. I didn’t- I didn’t mean to. Please don’t go! You seem. Nice. Sorta. But not like, in a creepy way.”
Morgan laughed. “I’d make a joke about how easy it is to make you beg, but you’re knee deep in mud and you have a bloody nose. I don’t think you need to feel any more pathetic than you already do.” The tip of their tongue stuck out, their eyes crinkling.
Alex was a fucking vampire, one of the most lethal, most terrifying to ever live. In the circles that knew of their existence, their name was whispered for fear of summoning them. Pathetic?
But then they tried to wipe their bloody nose with a mud-covered hand and smeared the brown goo all over their face, and it occurred to them that Morgan wasn’t entirely wrong.
This was going so well.
“Ouch,” Alex pouted. “Keep going like that and you’re going to hurt my feelings.”
Morgan laughed. “Awww, you’re making me feel so bad.”
“You should.” Alex fake-sulked. “My heart hurts.”
“I didn’t realize I had such control over your heart,” Morgan smirked.
Alex instantly turned bright red and repressed the strong instinct to run away screaming.
“But,” Morgan continued, “if you want to have anything to do with my heart… maybe shower.” And with a wink, they were gone.
And Alex’s heart was beating surprisingly fast for an undead monster.
Thursday
“I look forward to seeing you tripping over your own feet again tonight. Or are you actually going to try to flirt this time?”
“I’m going to push you out of that window into the fucking daylight,” Alex sulked, pulling deeper into their chair.
“Wouldn’t help you win our little bet,” Rex Roofer smiled. Who did he think he was? He wasn’t as cool as he pretended to be. He was just self-centered and pretentious! So what if he was a teensy better at flirting than Alex was? It was a stupid fucking bet, anyway.
But then they remembered Morgan’s laughing face. The tip of their tongue sticking out, that cocky grin, all their cute little jokes.
Maybe the bet wasn’t half bad.
“Tonight.”
“Sorry?” Rex Roofer looked up from his glass of too-expensive wine.
“I’ll get an invitation to their house. Tonight.”
“Considering how your past few meetings have gone, that seems unlikely. What was it our dear friend Morgan called you? Oh, right. Pathetic,” Roofer said.
“They’ll be in love with me by the end of the week.”
“And by that, you mean Saturday?”
“Obviously.”
“You are aware that it’s Thursday?”
“So what?” Alex challenged.
Rex didn’t reply, choosing instead to take a meaningful sip of their wine.
Morgan was halfway to their car when some random dude ran up to them. They shriveled away, lip curled in distaste, but the man didn’t seem to notice. Alex couldn’t hear what he was saying (frankly, they didn’t want to), but their hands curled into fists all the same. Morgan started walking again, a bit quicker. The man followed beside them.
“Morgan!” Alex called out, walking toward the pair. “Motherfucker, you said you were going to pick me up twenty minutes ago!”
“Who’s this?” The idiot harassing Morgan grumbled, their forced smile spreading into a scowl.
“My partner.” Morgan ran toward Alex, gripping onto their torso affectionately. “Aren’t they adorable?”
For some completely and totally unrelated, completely coincidental reason, Alex’s heart was beating alarmingly quickly. And their normally pale-as-death face was flushed with red.
The man spit at Morgan’s feet. “Bitch.” He spun on his heel and stormed off, muttering to himself.
“Want me to, ya know,” before Alex could think the better of it, they swiped a finger across their neck. Totally not creepy or possessive or weird or-
Morgan laughed sweetly. “Ha-ha, very funny.”
“Hey, if I’m supposed to be your partner-”
“In your dreams,” Morgan giggled, before suddenly turning toward Alex. “What are you doing here, anyway?”
“I- life, um, there was- ugh, I can’t- there was this thing and-”
“You wanted another glimpse of your savior from the other night?”
Still bright red, Alex scratched the back of their neck. “Pretty much.” It wasn’t even a lie, not really. But they didn’t have to think about that right now.
“Well then, keep looking. That asshole vampire hasn’t turned up yet.”
“Well, I think you chased them away, when you, ya know, did the thing with the arriving and saying hi and being really funny and-”
“What’s your name?” Morgan interrupted.
Alex froze. Not because they didn’t want to tell Morgan - sure, it was the name of the vampire so infamous people burned the books containing it - but because they seemed to have… misplaced it. It just slipped their grasp. That was all.
“Hi?” Morgan waved a hand in front of their face.
Goddamn it, they’d forgotten their name.
“Al- something. I- Alex! Alex. That’s it.”
“...do I want to ask?”
“No.”
“Well, Mx. Alex, I’m Morgan. It’s nice to officially- how did you know my name?”
“You just told me.”
“No, I mean a minute ago, with that creep. You said my name. How do you know my name?” Morgan was advancing slowly, eyes narrowed.
“Well. We. We live… in a society. And that society, um, it has. Things. A lot of things. Including… social media! That’s how. Internet. You aren’t hard to, ya know, find.”
“Oh thank god,” Morgan sighed. “Sorry for that. You seem nice and all, just… being a vampire would kinda be a red flag, you know?”
Alex laughed. And kind of wanted to cry. “I can imagine.”
“Well, I have to go home, but… do you want my number? We could talk sometime.”
How the fuck was Morgan so confident? Not that Alex minded, just-
“Uh, I- 21- no, actually- I mean, I don’t have one.” Just, they were sort of lacking in that area.
“Damn it,” Morgan looked dejected.
“I-” Alex didn’t get the chance to finish their sentence.
Why? Because a certain someone-
(Rex. It was always Rex)
-ran them over.
With their fucking car.
Which, immortal or not, hurt like a bitch.
They lay stunned for a second, then were pulled up by Morgan, holding them close.
“Oh my god! Are you okay? That- that fucking idiot just-” For once in their life, Morgan was speechless.
“Bastard,” Alex slurred.
“Yeah. He is.”
Alex started to charge off in the direction of Rex, but barely took a few steps before they crumpled to the ground. “Ouchy.”
“Okay, you’re concussed and severely injured. You aren’t chasing after the guy who ran over you.”
“But he’s a fucking bitch with an asshole face and a weird name!” Alex protested, words still tumbled together.
“Acknowledged. But you’ve got to go to the hospital.”
Alex stiffened. Even in the pits of their slightly delirious, concussed mind, they could see something was wrong with that. “No. No hospital.”
“Alex-” Morgan’s voice sounded more like they were talking to a toddler than the greatest vampire on the face of this earth.
“No hospital!” Alex scrambled to their feet, starting to run away before face-planting yet again. If Rex was there, he’d probably make a joke about how often Alex fell for Morgan.
“Fine.” Morgan sighed. “You aren’t thinking straight, but if you’re reacting this strongly, fine. Get in the car.” They half shoved Alex’s limp, broken body into their equally broken, run down car.
“What’s goin on? I don’t- trick? This is a trick?”
“No, you idiot. You just got run over. I’m going to take you to my house and fucking, I don’t know, set the bones or whatever. Because ‘no hospital’, apparently.”
“Awwwwwww. You’re nice. I- I love you, Morgan. So nice.”
“...I’ve known you for three days.”
Friday
“Alex? Alex. Alex, wake up!” Morgan’s voice was getting more urgent by the second. “Motherfucker, I told you we should have gone to the hospital.”
“Sorry,” Alex muttered, still half asleep on Morgan’s couch.
“Alex! Oh, thank fuck.” Morgan practically leapt toward them. “It’s 3 in the afternoon, dude! You’ve been unconscious since we got home. I thought you were dead .”
“...oops?”
Morgan shot Alex a dirty look. “ Oops ? I was fucking terrified.”
“Aww, you do like me.”
“No, I just thought that a dead body on my couch would be a tad bit difficult to explain.” Morgan paused for a second, then smirked. “Although, while we’re on the subject… you are a significant amount more confident when you’re confused.”
Alex froze. All the thoughts they’d had about Morgans, all the lingering glances and rushing blood and pounding heartbeats, it all came back to them. “No. I- oh fuck, I’m sorry, I- What did I say?” They asked, not quite sure they wanted to know the answer. Morgan didn’t respond, just smiled to themselves.
Alex’s phone buzzed. Rex, that insufferable motherfucker.
Congrats on getting Morgan’s invite, Alex. You’re welcome for the assist ;)
The phone shattered in Alex’s grip. How dare he- that stupid fucking vampire with his stupid fucking car and all his stupid fucking mind games. And he had the nerve to say you’re welcome ? Alex was stronger than him, they knew that for a fucking fact, and he was going to die.
Right this fucking instant.
“You can’t leave!” Morgan protested.
“To hell with the concussion. I’m fucking killing this guy.”
“I wasn’t talking about the concussion. It’s broad daylight, you’re going to burn up.”
It was true, of course, and Alex slumped back onto the couch, sulking.
And then looked toward Morgan, who was watching them with an expectant grin.
“Morgan.”
“Alex,” their voice was honey sweet.
“What did you just say?”
“What, you thought I didn’t know? You’re a vampire, duh. Come on , you’re fucking famous! Alex the Evil or whatever.”
“So you- I- you knew? And you-” Alex was motioning frantically, tongue tied in knots.
“You seemed kinda exciting. And I wanted to know what your deal was.” Morgan smiled. “Seriously, how long was it going to take you to try and kill me?”
“I- no, that’s not- I wasn’t trying to, you know, kill - well, not real-”
“Oh, right. You aren’t some evil blood sucking fiend, you’re just a vampire with a crush on me.” Morgan’s voice dripped with sarcasm.
But Alex didn’t say anything, They did, however, turn a brilliant shade of red.
“No. No, you- no. No .” Morgan was grinning, awestruck.
“It was for a bet, okay? Stupid fucking Rex Roofer wanted me to, I don’t know, seduce you to prove I was a real vampire. And I agreed because I’m stubborn and you ended up being really cool and funny and- oh my god, I’m in love with you.” In a few moments, Alex went from sounding like a petulant child to stunned silence, staring at Morgan with wide eyes.
“...A bet, huh?” Morgan’s voice was crafty. “With the guy who ran you over, I’m assuming.”
“Yep.”
“And when were you supposed to seduce me by?” Morgan leaned back.
Alex hesitated, confused. “Tomorrow.”
“Go ahead.”
“...What?”
“Seduce me.”
“ What ?”
“You’re helplessly in love with me, so you aren’t going to kill me. You’re kinda funny, so I’m not going to kill you. You’re stuck here until sunset, you have a concussion and three broken bones, and you have a bet to win. So seduce me.”
Alex waited, bright red and wide-eyed, for the punchline. But Morgan didn’t say anything else, just raised their eyebrows.
“I- are you- so you just want me to, like, do the things and-”
“Aren’t you wasting time?” Morgan examined their fingernails.
Alex, the almighty vampire, the nightmarish fiend of terror, fled the room screaming.
Alex emerged an hour later, head hung like a shy puppy.
Morgan glanced up and down at them. “I thought you were supposed to be some terrifying vampire,” they teased. In a flash faster than they eye could track, Alex was in front of them, choking Morgan, eyes narrowed.
“I am. And now I’m going to kill you.” Their teeth, sharp as knives and glistening unnaturally white, were only a few centimeters away from Morgan’s neck.
“That would probably be scarier if you weren’t wearing kitten pajamas.”
“God damn it!” Alex groaned. “So I’m guessing that didn't work?”
“I remain unseduced,” Morgan smiled. “But maybe you could get your hand off my throat?” They rasped.
“Ah! Sorry. I didn’t- it was just, ya know, thought it might be, I don’t know-”
Morgan interrupted them with a giggle. “Definitely selling the sexy vampire act.”
“I am a sexy vampire, thank you very much.”
“And yet you can’t even make me swoon.” Morgan turned away, still laughing to themselves.
Once Alex got beyond all the gay panicking, hanging out with Morgan was… really fun. They didn’t even do much, just sat together and played cards or watched tv. Sometimes they just talked, watching the hours of the afternoon blur into the night. It was all so strange, how happy this made Alex. Not even the fact that they were the slayer or whatever - sure, they were mortal enemies. Who cared? No, it was just strange that Alex cared this much about anyone. Someone who just wanted to joke around and have fun and sometimes lay their head on Alex’s chest and go to sleep and oh god Morgan was sleeping on Alex.
“Hey! Wake up,” Alex pouted. “We’re hanging out! And I’m trying to seduce you!”
Morgan looked at Alex sleepily, tracing one of their fingers down Alex’s chin. “You already did, dumbass.”
“...huh?” Alex froze.
“Yeah. You don’t ask someone to seduce you if you don’t, you know, want them to seduce you..”
“So- you, you and I-”
“I like you, idiot.”
Saturday
Alex wanted to rip Rex Roofer’s fucking throat out. And they were fully planning on doing it, of course.
Once they were finished cuddling with Morgan.
“So I see you won our little bet, Alex.”
Or they could do it now, seeing as he was in their house.
“Rex.”
“Congratulations,” Rex smiled genuinely. “I’m sure being run over was… slightly inconvenient, but let’s be honest. You weren’t getting anywhere. You needed a little help.” Alex looked over at the fast asleep Morgan, who was holding onto them tightly. Silently, they calculated if it would be possible to eviscerate Rex Roofer without waking Morgan up.
“Why would you even help me win the bet, Roofer? I didn’t realize you were in such a hurry to get rid of your money.” Alex glared menacingly.
“Money?” Roofer smirked. “You were very drunk, so I guess I can’t blame you for thinking that. But it wasn’t money we bet on, my dear friend. But you did win, so here we go.” Still smiling, Roofer threw a lollipop over to Alex, who let it hit them on the head for fear of moving their arms and waking Morgan. “Have fun with your lover,” Rex giggled to himself, disappearing in a cloud of smoke.
Alex could chase after him, and probably should. Or they could stay here, in Morgan’s arms, waiting for them to wake up so they could kiss each other with syrup-scented breath and warm coffee in their hands (Alex had already prepared breakfast, obviously. They may have had a slight problem with gay panic, but they had some semblance of dignity).
“Alex?” Morgan’s eyes fluttered open. “Wanna stay for a bit? I like this.” They snuggled in deeper, gripping Alex just a little tighter.
“Of course.”