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#1
“Are you sure you want to go to Cancun?”
“Obviously. Why would you ask that?” Alex whipped toward Morgan, offended. “I thought you wanted to go!”
“I did. I do! Just, ya know, the hundreds of heroes covering our plane after you ripped their friend’s heart out is… kinda making me rethink that?” Morgan grimaced and Alex watched as they peered out of the airplane window, before whipping away from the glare of a hero whose face was twisted in rage.
“Who, them?” Alex chuckled. “Don’t worry, I’m just keeping them around ‘cause it’s funny to see them all mad. They aren’t going to hurt you,” they said, smile suddenly turning into a scowl. “I’ll kill them if they even try. Although, if they’re really bothering you that much, I can just-” Alex slid a finger across their neck. “It’d be pretty easy. Maybe not quite as exciting, but…”
“You’re on a honeymoon with your partner who you haven’t seen in like, three months. I’m pretty sure that’s plenty exciting.”
Alex’s face turned a brilliant shade of red at Morgan’s casual use of the word partner , something they never managed to get used to. It was getting ridiculous, really. Alex could protest all they wanted, but there was a reason they had been looking forward to the honeymoon, even while they were plotting to kill their fiance. And that reason - the reason for almost everything Alex did - was Morgan.
But Morgan hadn’t meant ‘partner’ like… that. Obviously. So this vacation was going to be 100% platonic. No romance, no creepy feelings, no mention of anything that wasn’t friendship.
“Right. Exciting! Partners! Together again! But together, like, friends who haven’t seen each other in ages, not together like-”
Before Alex could continue their awkward stuttering, they were (quite rudely) interrupted by a bloody hero. And not bloody in the British sense; bloody as in covered in the blood of their sister whose heart had just been ripped out by the person she fell in love with.
“Alex,” they growled, eyes narrowed.
“Jackson! How’s the sister?”
“Dead. Not like you care.”
“Well, I do, actually. ‘Cause if she wasn’t, that would kinda be a problem. I did spend - well, however many months - pretending to be a hero just to make a point out of her death.”
Jackson screamed in guttural rage and launched their fist at Alex’s face, who obviously dodged. Which, of course, meant the person next to them was hit instead. Which meant that Morgan now had a bloody nose. Which meant that the hero would be subjected to every torture imaginable until they were begging for death.
“Morgan? Should I-” Alex vaguely gestured rather violently.
“Uh, yeah. Although, well, love you and all, but I’m gonna look away. Spare me the details, okay?”
Morgan stared intently out the window as the hero screamed. They missed the utterly traumatizing bloodbath that entailed, but they also missed Alex’s heart stopping.
Love you.
Love you.
LOVE YOU,
Alex shook themselves out of it. No, no, no. This honeymoon was totally platonic. 100% not romantic at all.
#2
Well. The whole platonic bit was proving to be a bit difficult.
It would have been a lot easier, if Alex wasn’t wearing a suit and Morgan wasn’t all dressed up in their best dress (that was definitely not making Alex think about anything that they should not have been thinking about) and if they weren’t still covered in wedding flowers.
Morgan, still half asleep, cuddled in closer to Alex’s chest. “We there yet?”
“Are you sure you don’t want me to-”
“No teleporting! And I kinda like this. You’re really warm.” Morgan pulled the airline blanket around both of them.
But as it was, everyone kept thinking that they were married or whatever.
Idiots.
“Champagne for the newlyweds?” The flight attendant asked, kindly.
“Ooooh, yes please!” Morgan was practically bouncing in their seat. Alex’s heart was beating twice as fast, seeing their friend’s unadulterated joy. “Alex, I still can’t believe you got us first class tickets.”
“Well, the nice thing about being a not-so-reformed supervillain is people tend to give you shit for free. Something about making sure I don’t kill them or whatever.”
“Still. I’ve never flown, like at all, and these seats are nicer than my fucking apartment building! First class , Alex. First class!”
“Actually, I have another offer for you,” the flight attendant interrupted, still smiling sweetly. “A first class ticket to hell.” Her eyes flashed red, features contorting into a glare. Alex leapt up only to see Morgan clutching at their chest, clawing at it like they wanted to claw their own heart out. They were gasping for breath, expression frantic. They stumbled toward Alex, who was at their side in an instant as Morgan crumpled to the floor. For a moment, the two pairs of eyes met, before Morgan’s fluttered closed.
“Morgan! Morgan, wake up,” they begged, trying not to let the desperation creep into their voice. “Morgan-”
“Sorry, villain. Looks like your little friend is-” the flight attendant (hero?)’s monologue was cut short as Alex literally rammed their fingers into her throat, severing her head completely. Her newly detached head blinked one final time, shock registering on her expression. Alex kicked the loose toward the other flight attendants, relishing in the spurts of blood, before spinning back to Morgan, who was beginning to breathe again.
“Morgan!”
“Ugh, that was so bad.”
“I- I mean, yeah. It was a heart attack .”
“No, not that,” Morgan rolled their eyes. “That line. I mean, ‘a first class ticket to hell’? Really ?”
Alex laughed, trying to ignore the terror still coursing through their system.
#3
Alex insisted that they enter the room first, still more than a little shaken over the incidents on the plane. The flights flickered on and-
Alex froze. “Holy shit.”
Morgan pushed into the room, doubling over with laughter the second they saw Alex, who was frozen in terror. “Oh my god. This… this is a couple’s suite, isn’t it?” Alex tried to respond but no sound came out, just a little squeak of horror. “Oh, calm down. It’s not the end of the world.”
“Morgan, I am so sorry-”
“What ever ,” Morgan pushed Alex’s shoulder, grinning. “It’s not like we haven’t shared a bed before! So take a deep breath or whatever and just… stop freaking out.”
Right. Because this was funny and a good story and there was no reason for Alex to be freaking out unless they were secretly helplessly in love with Morgan.
Funny how things work out, isn’t it?
Oh god, this was like something out of a bad movie. Sharing a bed? Not to mention the couple’s decorations in every corner and weirdly suggestive notes and all the things that Alex really should not have been thinking about because this was just a friendship honeymoon (which admittedly sounded very stupid, but most things Alex said sounded stupid when it came to Morgan).
“Alex?” Morgan snapped Alex out of their daze. “You okay there, dude? ‘Cause you look-”
“Yep!” Alex’s voice cracked. It legitimately cracked , like they were some awkward teenager who was flirting for the first time or something. The same person who had torn their fiance’s heart out without flinching, the same person who gulped down blood like it was lemonade. “Perfectly fine!”
“...right. Well, I, for one, am going to enjoy this way-too-expensive room with all it’s fancy decorations and shit.” Morgan grinned and leapt toward the bed.
The bed that, in their moment of panic, Alex had forgotten to check.
Time froze (literally. Alex was all-powerful. Freezing time was, like, a pretty normal thing for them), Morgan hanging, midjump, in the air. Alex approached the bed tentatively, running their fingers through every fold and crevice of the sheets. They could see the strangers’ memories of the sheets - and again, most of those memories were very much antithetical to the whole platonic thing. But, eventually, they found the very thing they’d feared. There it was, barely visible; the faintest stain of poison. Not enough to kill Alex (no amount was really enough to kill Alex) but certainly enough to sting. And certainly enough to be lethal to…
Well then. There were some things Alex needed to take care of.
When time unfroze, Morgan landed on the bed. For a second, they glanced at the sheets curiously, as if wondering if there had been a different pattern before. But they seemed to forget that the second Alex joined them, leaning up against their shoulder.
“Sorry for acting all weird.”
“So you’re good now?” Morgan leaned closer, Alex’s breath catching ever so slightly.
“Yep. Everything’s all better.” Distantly, Alex could still hear the heroes’ screams.
This was going to be such a good day.
#4
“Ooh, do you want to have drinks? I found this wine-”
“That one’s poisoned too.”
“Shit.”
+1
“Alex?” Having finally found some not-so-poisoned alcohol, Morgan’s breath was slightly slurred. They were stumbling a bit as Alex walked them back to the hotel room.
“Morgan? Are you okay?”
“No.” Morgan sulked, their dopey smile drooping into a frown.
“What’s wrong?” Alex narrowed their eyes, searching for any sign of a threat. They weren’t looking to break any bones at the moment, but if someone had hurt Morgan-
“You! You left me, dumbass. Months and months and months and months and-” Morgan stumbled into Alex, bumping their nose into the S-tiered villain's shoulder. “Ouch.”
“You’re drunk, Morgan.” Alex chuckled (trying desperately to ignore the sting of the words) and pulled their best friend into their arms, carrying them bridal style.
Don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it-
For a second, Morgan’s eyes closed and their breathing steadied out, sleep pulling them away. But then their eyes shot open, almost frantic. “Alex!”
“What happened?”
“Don’t leave me. Please.”
“I wasn’t planning on it,” Alex smirked. “Or else I probably wouldn’t have asked you to come with me on the honeymoon.”
“Not funny! Not funny, not funny, not funny. Don’t leave. I love you.”
Alex almost dropped Morgan. “You don’t mean that-”
“Yep I do. Always.”
Morgan seemed to fall asleep again, the steady sound of Alex’s footsteps luring them to sleep as they approached the hotel room. Alex gently placed them on the bed, pulling the covers over their friend. “Good night, Morgan.”
Morgan jolted upright, grabbing the neck of Alex’s shirt and pulling them closer, until the two were face to face. Then, ever so slowly, they leaned forward and kissed Alex’s nose. “Love you.”
Very few things could kill Alex; nothing had ever come close to succeeding.
Morgan - without even trying to - had almost done it.