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Knowing he won and won damn well, Kakyoin took his time to unfurl the sleeve of his uniform. In the dreamscape, the emerald green he adorned shifted to a moody black against the bright colors of the circus around him. Bloodstains still remained on his white undershirt—that hadn’t changed—but at least the words he carved into his arm had stopped bleeding.
“Now,” Kakyoin began, the power trip coloring his voice to a haughty degree. “If you don’t want to burst from the inside out…" He presented his forearm. "First, I want you to heal my arm, you can do anything here. So you should be able to heal my wounds, right?”
Floating close above was Death 13, twitching slightly from Hierophant controlling him. A child’s voice, scratchy and warped, stuttered out, “O-Okay!”
With a smile, he watched the stinging words Baby Stand fade away out of existence. The bloodstains disappeared too. It was like nothing ever happened, though his black uniform and silver hair remained. In Death 13’s world, the baby controlled everything, but now that Kakyoin had control of the Stand, everything was now his. He was tempted to go wild with it, fabricate an old memory so he could walk through it again, but the longer he kept this hold the baby’s impatience would grow.
So he could tie up loose ends instead.
“Kakyoin!” Polnareff cried out, hugging him from behind. The force caught Kakyoin in a laugh as he was hoisted up in the air for a moment. Upon settling on the ground, he waved away Polnareff’s hands, but they settled on his shoulders anyway. “You’re an incredible fighter, I regret that I doubted you.” His head dropped, his silver tower of hair nearly smacking Kakyoin in the face. “I… I’m not going to remember this are I?”
Kakyoin considered it mournful that Polnareff wasn't able to remember what happened when he woke up. Same for himself, but he hoped someone else had the same doubt about his dream on the plane. When it came down to it, they didn't trust his doubt but survived because Kakyoin trusted himself.
Jotaro, standing nearby, took a step towards Death 13. Hierophant, hiding in the Stand’s mouth, pivoted to watch his approach. “Death 13,” he declared, his voice like black ice, “will anyone besides you and Kakyoin remember this dream when we wake up?”
Death 13 bobbed and a mysterious sweat dotted near his crown. “N-No. Kakyoin’s the only one who brought his Stand into the dream beside me.” Jotaro looked at the horizon and stared at it silently. His posture screamed thoughtful.
“Well,” Mr. Joestar sighed, scratching his beard, “That’s pretty convenient. If you have full control of the dream, how come you can’t make us remember?”
The Stand’s hands clenched into fists. “I can’t change a memory, you old bastard!” Death 13 gasped and jerked still, paralyzed through the strands of Hierophant spread through its body. That should shut the Stand up for a bit.
Kakyoin turned away and asked Polnareff, “Before I wake us up, do you want to do something, Polnareff? Eat some ice cream? Have popcorn?”
A squeaky laugh came bellowing out, “No, no. I can’t eat ice cream again after seeing all that. When we’re in reality you can make up for the popcorn you spilled by buying me some when we get to the next town.”
“Really?” Kakyoin frowned, surprised at Polnareff’s stupidity. “We’re in a world where anything can happen and you want me to spend money in the real world for you?”
“I’m not gonna remember this in a few aren’t I?” He turned his head away and flared his hand towards Kakyoin in a shoo motion. “I’d rather have a gift I can remember.”
Fair enough. Still, there was something exciting by the fact Kakyoin could, quite literally, make a wish come true. Kakyoin looked towards Mr. Joestar for what, if anything, he wanted to see before he forgot, but someone spoke before he did.
It was Jotaro.
“Kakyoin,” his joy and concern from the fight had mellowed to something much drier. His expression betrayed nothing of what he was thinking. It was worrying. What was Kakyoin supposed to think about this distant behavior? Maybe Jotaro wanted a wish, of something important. Maybe Death 13 could create copies of people just like Stands.
Kakyoin turned and gave him his full attention. Even if he couldn’t tell what Jotaro was thinking, Kakyoin could tell it had great importance to him. “Yes?”
“I won’t remember this, but you will?” Jotaro took his hands out of his pockets—a rare sight.
“Yes,” Kakyoin answered.
Before he could continue, Jotaro reached up to cup his face and leaned in, pressing his lips against Kakyoin's.
The addicting warmth of the kiss barely registered and there was no chance of reacting before the dream ended. Kakyoin's eyes opened in shock to a dark blue sky pitched to a baby blue to the right side of his vision.
What was that? What the hell was that?
His body jolted and breathing became a struggle to pull off properly. His hands, trapped, tried to get his sleeping bag off as he was zipped up tight to a point where he couldn’t move. It took a moment to break himself free, panic fighting his way out, and he sat up when he could. His uniform was green again as he shoved aside his rolled up sleeve to see bandages had been wrapped around his arm. It was well done, which meant that Jotaro had done the job.
Moving at the same pace his breaths were coming, Kakyoin ripped off the white gauze and found his arm unharmed. Death 13's world wasn't a dream, it was reality. It happened. Jotaro kissed him.
Why?
Kakyoin took stock of his surroundings. The fire had gone out overnight. Polnareff lay closest to the embers, still snoring away the early morning. The sleeping bag beside him held Jotaro who was also still dozing. Kakyoin could tell by the way his chest rose and fell. Joseph, close to the baby and opposite of Kakyoin, murmured. Kakyoin froze and watched Mr. Joestar sigh and continue to talk in his sleep.
They were asleep. All of them.
And the baby…
Upon creating eye contact with the shithead, the baby flinched and looked away.
Okay. Okay. There was a lot to process at once. For now, Kakyoin had to put a pin in that kiss for later. There was a secret to be kept and a baby to punish.
Once the baby was out of the way, everything went back to normal.
And Kakyoin wanted to scream.
Yes, over the fact that he couldn’t talk to anyone about Death 13, but also how it seemed the kiss never happened. This wasn’t like noticing Jotaro was attracted to him through catching shy looks or an affirmation from one of the other Crusaders—this was private information. Kakyoin couldn’t confide in Polnareff even if he wanted to.
There was no situation where someone kissed you and you didn’t get a chance to react. The memory burned so deep on Kakyoin, it might as well as left a scar like the words on his arm were meant to.
Mindful of himself, Kakyoin glanced over across the middle seat and watched Jotaro stare out the window. It was rolled down to beat the late afternoon heat and the sun came down at just the right angle where Jotaro’s hat created a line of shadow that protected his eyes. It was a gorgeous look. Kakyoin’s fingers itched to drag out his sketchbook in the seat pocket in front of him and get sketching.
Jotaro didn’t like to be drawn, but Kakyoin did so anyway. That was one secret he was willing not to tell Jotaro, so was the fact Jotaro kissed him without consequences also going to be a secret he was never going to share? The thought made Kakyoin strangely nauseous. Jotaro liked him, in that way.
Kakyoin had been harboring his own crush for weeks, refusing to tell a soul about it and keeping the thought under wraps as much as possible. He knew better than to go after a straight man, so the wish lingered at the back of his mind, unable to let it go. Jotaro never once gave any indication of attraction to Kakyoin. He knew as the target, Kakyoin would be the least likely to notice any secret affections, but he hoped he’d catch something, anything.
They’ve shared beds for God's sake. Kakyoin spent those evenings repressing every taboo thought and feeling in the book, so much so he found a way to appear normal sleeping right beside his crush. He hoped, at least. Either Jotaro was a lot better at hiding it than Kakyoin gave him credit for or this was a fluke—not a real impulse.
Then why would he make sure Kakyoin would remember it?
Jotaro’s long gaze out the window broke and he turned his look inside the car, catching Kakyoin’s admiration immediately. Too caught up in his own head, he wasn’t able to look away in time and blush rose to his cheeks as he turned towards the front seat, pretending nothing happened. It was mind-boggling to Kakyoin that he could get caught having a crush but the opposite wasn’t true for Jotaro despite having explicit evidence that he had attraction of some kind.
That kiss had to mean something. It had to.
When well over a minute passed and Kakyoin distracted himself by taking a drink out of his canteen, he tried looking over again. Jotaro was back to looking out the window, his hands resting on his lap as before, his hat tipped just so to block the sun. This time when Kakyoin tried sneaking a glance over, Jotaro’s eyes pivoted away from the distant horizon to the corner of his vision—right at Kakyoin.
Caught and angry for being so, Kakyoin closed his eyes and thumped his head against the seat.
Jotaro seemed oblivious to his own secret.
“Can we talk?” This was going to drive him insane if Kakyoin didn’t sort this out. He wasn’t sure if he was willing to go into all of Death 13, but he needed badly to know if Jotaro actually felt the same way. He needed to know that it wasn’t a fluke, it wasn’t a rash idea, or a careless wish.
Jotaro glanced at him as his hand rested on the doorknob to their room. Like many of their motel stays on the road, the rooms lead right onto the parking lot. Key in hand, Jotaro paused and waited for him to continue. Kakyoin didn’t want to lead this conversation; the only time he had wished that when it came to discussions between himself and Jotaro.
“Privately,” Kakyoin clarified.
Without saying a word, Jotaro shoved the key and his hands back into his pockets and pivoted away from the door. Taking the silent acceptance, Kakyoin walked across the lot and listened to Jotaro follow him as they left the motel grounds.
Exhaustion begged him to go to sleep and ignore this conversation, but Kakyoin knew this was a more rational decision. Thus, he strung along an equally tired Jotaro towards the crest of the sandy hill so they could see the glimmering waters of the Red Sea.
Where to start?
“Is there,” Kakyoin licked his lips and kept his eyes on the waves, “anything you want to share?”
Because he wasn’t looking, he missed Jotaro squinting at him, peeved. “No.” Really? “You were the one who called me over here, don’t you have something to talk about?”
Ah… caught there. Still, all he needed was confirmation, and Kakyoin's remaining energy sparked to find it. “Nothing to share? You really have nothing in particular you would like to say to me?” Kakyoin snapped his head over, his long bang swaying in the wind.
Jotaro squinted slightly before answering at a snail's pace. “…No. What’s this about? You’re acting weird.” What the hell? Was it really just a fluke after all? “Listen,” Jotaro huffed, his brow creasing into a scowl, “I can’t read minds. If I’m bothering you with something then tell me straight. This is annoying.”
“That’s rich,” Kakyoin spat then sighed as he didn’t mean to say that aloud. Jotaro didn’t say anything; his scowl deepened as he turned and walked back down the dune. “Wait!” Kakyoin jumped to follow after him and nearly tripped down the hill to catch up with him. Frustrated by the denial, Kakyoin once again couldn’t help but say what he thought again, “I know you like me too.”
Jotaro stopped immediately.
The speed at which he climbed down had Kakyoin slamming right into Jotaro’s back. The force was enough to ricochet and Kakyoin spun backward onto the sand, looking up at Jotaro’s flowing coat. Confused, Kakyoin didn't move and neither did Jotaro for a full fifteen seconds.
The next words out of Jotaro’s mouth nearly got carried away by the wind, “…too?”
“…Too.” Kakyoin cautiously repeated. “I like you, Jotaro. Romantically. I… I know you do too.”
Another beat passed of Kakyoin flat on his ass and getting sand in his shoes while Jotaro hovered above him, back turned towards him. Stoic and sensitive. Eventually, he uttered, “You aren’t supposed to know that.”
“You must have wanted me to at some point.”
Jotaro, without turning his body, snapped his head to the side so he could glare at Kakyoin over his shoulder.
The moonlight was able to catch Jotaro’s upper body, but everything below, including Kakyoin, was cast in shadow. His hat still covered his eyes, but it was plain to see them wide and wonderous at Kakyoin's audacity. Almost sparkling. Kakyoin considered the pause was another moment of Jotaro waiting for Kakyoin to take the initiative, but Jotaro spoke before he could utter a word. “How the hell do you know that…”
Kakyoin bit his tongue. “Does it matter?”
Jotaro swung around completely and suddenly the light in his eyes didn’t look so friendly at all. Kakyoin pushed his palms into the sand to get distance, but his hands slid deeper into the dark dune. Jotaro grabbed him by the collar of his uniform and heaved him up. There was a certain mortification to being hefted up so easily and being unable to find his footing due to the hold. The slope made it impossible to stand in the awkward position. If Jotaro dropped him, then there was no saving him from landing back in the sand.
Moonlight backlit Kakyoin's hair, causing the flame color to get washed in silver light. In the shadow of the dune, his uniform almost appeared black.
Kakyoin’s lithe hands instinctively covered Jotaro’s scared ones. His attempts to tug Jotaro's hands away were useless so he stopped struggling. Strangely, fear or bitterness didn't fill Kakyoin's heart.
The brim of Jotaro’s hat nearly smashed into Kakyoin’s forehead. “I’ve done everything to keep this from others. There’s no way you can know. There’s no way you can read me that well.”
This close, close enough to feel his breath, Kakyoin’s voice trembled. “Have you considered you’re more transparent than you thought?”
“No.” A sure answer, but it just made Kakyoin more confused. “I know what I am. I know my weaknesses. I know how I behave, and what others see in me. Including you, so have all those times you tried to look inconspicuous—“
“Would you,” Kakyoin gasped, hot off the feeling of being held in a tentative position, “kiss me if you knew you wouldn’t have to deal with the consequences?”
The scowl dropped, as nearly did his grip. Jotaro's eyes widened and he took a sharp inhale—recognition? Kakyoin wasn't let go, but he was eased down backward. Jotaro then tipped his head up enough for the light to catch his eyes. That blue-green hue, as predicted, looked incredible in the light. The shock soon passed and his brow furrowed again, tainted with uncertainty when he shook his head and crumpled Kakyoin’s collar further.
He squeezed his eyes shut. “I… can’t answer that. That’s an impossible question to ask me.”
The breeze and sound of waves crashing on the shore dropped off and Kakyoin’s quiet admission reverberated between them. “I know the answer.”
Jotaro’s breathing changed. Shorter. Tenser. Full of anxiety.
His eyes caught the light again, but he froze and didn’t let Kakyoin go. Straining from the awkward position, Kakyoin let go of Jotaro’s hands and grabbed onto the collar of Jotaro’s jacket. The chain jingled as it brushed up against his knuckles. Jotaro swallowed and pulled his arms in so Kakyoin was closer. Just as guilty, Kakyoin reciprocated by tugging on his collar.
Kakyoin caught Jotaro shutting his eyes tight before he kissed him for the second first time.
The kiss distilled a dream into a heaven.
Kakyoin was frustrated before partially because the kiss in Death 13th’s world was so short. The wings were clipped before the bird could soar. All he got was sweet heat and the loving notice of Jotaro connecting them, but the feeling was so fleeting. Now, he could melt into the body holding him close.
This time Kakyoin could taste faint lip balm, this time Kakyoin could feel chapped lips against his own, this time he could smell the sweat and sand mixed in with a mediocre cologne. The kiss was intoxicating and he never wanted to stop lest the dream end again.
Jotaro did eventually break off, heaving a breath or two as he pressed his face against the side of Kakyoin’s. He was trying to hide. Kakyoin didn’t want him to.
His collar was released and in return, Kakyoin did the same and moved his hands to his waist as a steady point to stand properly. Free, he stood up straight and found himself equal height with Jotaro since he stood further up on the sand dune. Finding himself with a whole host of opportunity, Kakyoin dived in and tried to give a kiss to Jotaro’s pulse point. He managed it, but Jotaro flinched and pulled away.
The moonlight covered his blush, but it was still there and thus still able to be teased. Kakyoin huffed and smiled, “You asked me how I knew… if only you could look at yourself.”
Jotaro shook his head. Even when faced with direct proof, his stubbornness didn't disappear with a kiss. "Whatever," he scowled and kept rubbing small circles where his hands laid on Kakyoin's rib cage. "I—let's go back to the room. I want to wake up tomorrow with this—" he brought a hand up to rest on Kakyoin's jaw "—real."
Kakyoin rested his hand over Jotaro's and leaned into the touch. "Afraid you're in a dream?"
The moonlight casted the water, sand, plants, and each other in pale silver, creating a bright fuzzy line over everything. Jotaro didn't say anything, but he looked past Kakyoin's shoulder and across the Red Sea.
"I know how it feels," Kakyoin whispered, "but this is real. I know it."
In the morning, they woke up to the sun rising rather than the old man's complaints. Jotaro laid still, his body curled around Kakyoin's like he was going to float away without a weight holding him down, and tentatively asked Kakyoin if he was right. Kakyoin answered his question with a kiss.