Chapter Text
“Taehyun, please pick up the phone. It’s serious.”
The voicemail cuts off abruptly and Taehyun feels his heart lurch. He doesn’t want to know, he really doesn’t. He doesn’t need any more stress, but a part of him has to know. Things have been so chaotic lately with TXT getting ready for a comeback and Taehyun being even more on edge than usual.
The past few weeks he’s just felt off, and he’s had an extremely difficult time shutting his brain down before he goes to sleep. He’s essentially been functioning on four hours of sleep everyday. He knows it’s starting to affect his performance, but he’s not sure how to fix it. The best he can do right now is just suck it up until it’s over.
The vocalist opens up the chat with his older brother and breezes through the multiple texts he sent. All of them are some variation of “pick up the phone we need to talk.”
Guess there’s no avoiding it . Before Taehyun can psych himself out he pulls up his brother’s contact and hits call. It rings once before the line connects and then his brother’s voice is coming through.
“Taehyun?”
“Yeah, it’s me.”
“Thank God. I’ve been trying to reach you all day!”
“Sorry. I just got back from practice.”
“It’s fine. Anyway, I’m at home and mom told me to tell you that you need to come home this weekend.”
“What! Why!? I’m in the middle of a comeback!”
“I know I know I’m sorry. I tried to tell her but she insisted. Also, I wouldn’t be telling you to come home if it wasn’t serious. You don’t even have to come the whole time, just for one day.”
Taehyun can feel his heartbeat pulsing throughout his body. He has a bad feeling about this, but he’s also not surprised.
“Something happened—didn’t it?”
“...I wanted to wait to tell you until you got here because I didn’t want to upset you.”
Well that’s already happened, so Youngho might as well just spit it out
.
“Just tell me.”
“...”
“Please?” Taehyung begs. Something in his voice must sway his brother because then Youngho is giving him the news he’s dreaded to hear for so long.
“Mom and Dad are getting a divorce.”
The world starts to sway and then gradually pick up speed until it feels like Taehyun is being spun around like a top. There’s a ringing in his ears and even though he can see his fingers gripping his phone, there’s no sensation. His body doesn’t feel like his.
“-hyun? Taehyun? Are you there?”
“I-I’ll come by tomorrow,” Taehyun manages to stutter out before quickly ending the call.
He’s plunged into silence right after and closes his eyes as he tries to wrap his head around what happened. He’s always thought his parents would divorce at some point, he just didn’t realize now was the time. Even though he’s been expecting it, he still isn’t ready.
All those years of yelling and blaming and storming out of the house feel like they were in vain. He often wonders if things would have been better if his parents had divorced earlier, but that’s something he’ll never know. What’s been done is done, and he can’t change it. He’s not quite sure what to feel now.
Would he rather be totally numb or let his emotions debilitate him? What he can’t do is let this affect his performance. He can’t afford to bring all of TXT down just because his parents are having issues. His throat feels tight and his stomach is in knots, but he can’t afford to break down now. If he does, he won’t be able to recover.
The vocalist takes a couple of deep breaths to try and calm his nerves, it doesn’t work, but he can pretend it does. Then he strategically puts his mental walls back up and makes sure to school his expression before emerging from his shared room. He passes by their dining room and notices that it’s dark outside. Huh, I guess it’s already dinner time .
The table is already set but the other four members are busy serving themselves food in the kitchen.
“Taehyun-ah!” Yeonjun calls. “We’re just having leftovers so we’re serving ourselves. Come eat!”
The older boy waves him over warmly and Taehyun finds himself automatically drifting over to his side. Beomgyu hands him a plate and Yeonjun lets Taehyun cut in front of him. The 02 liner is busy scooping rice onto his plate when he feels someone whisper next to him.
“Everything ok?”
Taehyun instinctively flinches but then relaxes once he realizes it’s just Kai. He’s been so on edge recently and he has no idea why. His best friend and all the other members have been super understanding though, which Taehyun is grateful for. They don’t push him to talk about it but he knows they’ll be there to listen if he ever wants to talk.
“Sorry.”
“It’s ok!” Kai responds brightly. He lowers his voice again though as the two of them fix up their plates.
“Are you ok?” The other boy repeats. “You seem--sad.”
Taehyun purposely avoids eye contact and wills himself not to make any sudden movements as to not give himself away.
“I’m just stressed.”
Kai hums sympathetically and watches Taehyun’s body language before placing a comforting hand on his arm. The fellow maknae line member looks over at him and Kai thinks he sees a crack in his façade, but then Taehyun is moving away before Kai can even register what just happened. He frowns worriedly as he watches his friend take a seat next to Soobin at the table.
Something is wrong. Taehyun is shutting them out again, or at least he’s trying to. He may not realize it but the rest of them have figured out that whenever Taehyun is upset or something serious is bothering him, he starts distancing himself.
He tries to act perfect and even tends to mute his emotions to seem in control. He’ll give short answers and not allow himself to be overly excited or sad, but if you look close enough, you’ll be able to see through his act. The members have discovered that if they really observe Taehyun when he’s having a hard time, there will be moments where he’ll let his true inner thoughts slip or his old habits will turn up and reveal how anxious he really is.
This is one of those times, they just have to figure out what’s bothering their friend and how they can help. Ever since Taehyun opened up about his toxic family life, they’ve all taken extra care in how they support him. Sometimes it’s staying up with Taehyun until he falls asleep so he doesn’t fear that they’ll abandon him. Sometimes it’s reassuring him with gentle words how talented and worthy he is. Sometimes it’s just sitting in the same room as him and being a calm presence, and sometimes it’s cuddling.
Kai likes to think that they’re all pretty well versed on all things Taehyun, but that doesn’t mean they know everything. The way the vocalist is acting is similar to what he usually does, but there’s also something in Taehyun’s expression that makes Kai hesitate.
As they eat dinner, the maknae can tell that the others are also trying to decipher Taehyun’s behavior. Beomgyu is trying to annoy the hyung line as usual, but he also makes sure to glance Taehyun’s way every couple of minutes. Soobin is silently observing Taehyun’s posture, and Yeonjun keeps encouraging the younger boy to eat whenever he starts aimlessly pushing the food around his plate with the fork.
Dinner feels like it’s lacking something without Taehyun participating, and they all try their best to silently support him in the meantime. Taehyun manages to eat everything on his plate, but he doesn’t say a word the whole time. When they’re finished, the other four members decide to take care of cleanup and let Taehyun get up when he’s ready.
Soobin is about to take Taehyun’s plate from in front of him to clean when he sees the brunette tugging harshly at the end of his hair behind his ear. It’s one of the younger boy’s nervous habits that he’s told them all about so they can help him manage it. The leader clinks the silverware he’s holding in one hand together to alert Taehyun of his presence before gently reaching out and grabbing Taehyun’s wrist.
Taehyun only looks at him when he feels Soobin slowly start to pull his hand away from his hair.
“You shouldn’t do that,” Soobin softly advises.
“Sorry.”
“It’s ok! You seem distracted, do you want to talk?”
Soobin waits patiently and carefully scans Taehyun’s face as he tries to make a decision. The leader notes that he keeps avoiding eye contact by flickering his gaze around the table as if he’s trying to solve a puzzle.
“Taehyun-ah?”
“I don’t want to go,” the maknae line member whispers.
Soobin tilts his head in confusion at that answer.
“What do you mean?”
Taehyun suddenly looks up at Soobin with distraught eyes and then the leader immediately pulls him into a comforting hug. He has no idea what could be plaguing their second youngest, but he hates seeing him so upset. He wants to ease all of his worries and tuck him away from the rest of the world, but he knows he can’t. The best he can do is just be there for Taehyun and try to figure out how to best help him.
Soobin lets Taehyun just rest in his arms for a bit while he calms down. Over Taehyun’s shoulder, Soobin sees the rest of the members giving them concerned looks. Yeonjun mouths “is he ok?” and Soobin gives a slight shake of his head as an answer. Taehyun is definitely not ok, but he doesn’t exactly know what’s wrong.
Eventually, Taehyun finally pulls back and rubs at his eyes a bit before giving Soobin a sheepish look.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s ok, no need to apologize. Do you wanna tell me what’s wrong? It might help.”
Taehyun sighs deeply before trying to piece together his thoughts into words.
“My older brother called me. He told me I need to come home this weekend because it’s serious. My parents are getting a divorce and I’m guessing they need me home to make some decisions.”
Despite having said it extremely calmly and matter of fact, Soobin can see in Taehyun’s posture that it’s affecting him. They all know about Taehyun’s toxic relationships with his parents, and how traumatizing his past was. The last thing Soobin wants to do is throw him back in there when he’s already stressed with their comeback.
“Taehyunnie,” Soobin starts gently. “You don’t have to go right now. You can wait until you have a little more time.”
“I can’t.” Taehyun refutes immediately. “I-I want to be there when they decide what to do…” the younger boy trails off as he starts to consider what this really means.
I want to be there when they decide what to do with me and my siblings.
“Can one of us at least come with you?” Soobin suggests.
Taehyun vigorously shakes his head.
“No no no, it’s fine. I can handle it. I’m just going to drop by tomorrow for a few hours and then come back.”
“Taehyun-ah-,”
“It’s fine. I’ll be ok hyung, really. I just need a few hours to sort this out and then I’ll be back.”
Taehyun cuts off Soobin before he can protest. He feels a little guilty for being so short with his hyung, but he has to do this. And he has to do it alone.
“I’m going to head to bed now so I can get there early tomorrow, is that ok?”
“Uhhh, yeah. That’s fine. Let us know if you need anything,” Soobin reluctantly replies.
“I will, hyung.”
Walking back to his shared room with Kai, Taehyun feels the emptiness starting to settle in. He doesn’t want to go. He doesn’t want to see his parents. He doesn’t want to hear the yelling or see the house that holds too many memories. He doesn’t want this to be happening right now, and to him. He doesn’t want this to be the thing that ruins his career, but he mostly doesn’t want this to be the last time he sees his family.
The house reeks of cigarette smoke. It’s pungent and disgusting and seems to soak through Taehyun’s thin clothes. His dad used to smoke when he was a kid, but it was never this bad. It never got to the point where the smell seemed to seep into the furniture and linger like a permanent cloud inside the house. It makes his head spin and he hates it.
Besides the addition of the smoke, the house looks nearly identical to how it was when he used to live there. The wallpaper is peeling where it meets the floor, there’s random items strewn across every available surface, and when he visited his room earlier it looked untouched from when he left it years ago.
Taehyun had even found his favorite blue blanket and old pair of headphones under his bed. They had been laying on the carpet exactly where he used to put them every single night so he could use them if they arose. Whenever his parents would fight, he would find solace under his bed wrapped up in his blanket and tuned in to whatever music he would blast through his headphones.
When he had seen the worn blue blanket, he hadn’t hesitated to pick it up and hold it close. It had still provided the same amount of comfort it had when Taehyun was younger, and the boy had felt the tension melt out of his body for a few peaceful minutes. He had fortunately brought his backpack with him since he had to return to the company building right after, so he had stuffed the blanket into the main pocket before joining his parents and siblings at the table.
Now, he’s currently stuck at their dining table in the middle of another family feud.
“Hyunnie,” his mom calls firmly.
He hates it. It’s the same nickname the members use, but when it’s falling from his mother’s lips it sounds more like a command than a term of endearment.
“What do you think?”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that.”
His mom tsks and Taehyun feels the familiar sting of shame as she repeats herself.
“We’re selling the house, is there anything you want to take with you when you go back?”
“Oh umm, I think I already got what I needed.”
He didn’t get everything, not really. There are still a few keepsakes in his room that he’d like to take, but he can’t fit them all in his backpack and he’s afraid to continue the conversation longer so he ends up saying no.
“I see how it is. So you ask everyone else if they want anything but you trash my stuff?” His father scoffs.
Eun whips her head around and gives her husband a nasty glare.
“I don’t need your permission to do anything,
Gi
.”
She utters his name as if it disgusts her, Taehyun wouldn’t be surprised.
“Ok, so moving on,” Youngho intervenes.
Their parents don’t relax, postures still tense and ready to fight, but at least they aren’t yelling. The siblings bite their tongues in anticipation, praying that their mom doesnt blow up.
“Alright fine then.” Eun turns her stony gaze back to Taehyun and asks, deadpan-
“Would you rather go with your father or I?”
Taehyun chokes on his own spit. He’s immediately thrown into a coughing fit so he fortunately doesn’t have to respond immediately. He feels his older sister Yuna patting his back and his brother Youngho slides a glass of water over to him. In the background, he can hear his parents’ voices starting to escalate, and his body starting to tense up with anxiety.
“You can’t just ask him that, Eun” Gi criticizes lazily. There’s no emotion behind the statement and Taehyun can see on his face that he only said it to tile his wife up. He casually takes a sip of his drink and simply watches Eun’s reaction as if it’s some amusing TV show.
“Why not?! I know you and I won’t be able to decide, so why don't we just ask him directly?” His mom huffs.
“Mom!” Youngho speaks up. “You can’t do that! That’s not…right!”
“Ok fine! I’m the villain then! It’s all my fault!”
Eun throws her hands up aggressively, knocking over her drink in the process. The red liquid bleeds through the thin tablecloth and starts dripping onto the floor.
“We didn’t say that! You’re overreacting!”
“
I’m
overreacting!? I’M OVERREACTING?”
Taehyung flinches at the volume and desperately digs his nails into the tattered seat cushion. It only helps a little, he can feel the oncoming's of a panic attack and that is the last thing that he wants to happen right now.
“HOW IS WANTING TO GIVE TAEHYUN A CHOICE OVERREACTING?!”
“Mom! Calm down!” Yuna tries to chime in, reaching out to try and put a placating hand on their mom. Her voice is easily drowned out and Eun slaps her daughter’s hand away as if it’s an annoying fly. Unfortunately, now that their mom has raised her voice, their dad has decided to respond in kind and Taehyun sees a vein starting to pop out.
“YOU’RE PUTTING A HUGE BURDEN ON HIM THAT DOESN’T NEED TO BE HIS!” Gi bellows.
Although Taehyun does have an extremely strained relationship with his father, he does slightly agree with him. He doesn’t want to make the choice, he doesn’t have to be the one to make that choice. He’s an adult now, but they seem to have forgotten, not that it really matters. They don’t really care all that much about how he feels, the fact is that they just don’t want one another to win. It isn’t about him at all, it’s about having power over the other person, and Taehyun knows this.
He knows this, but it still hurts, and it still feels crappy to be fought over like just another piece of property. As horrible as it sounds, Taehyun knows he’s probably a valuable asset since he is an idol now, and he would be foolish to think that his parents wouldn’t consider that.
“Oh, so I’m a burden now?” Eun spits.
“When were you not?” Comes the cold retort.
Taehyun sees his mother rise from her seat. It reminds him of one of those superhero movies when the main villain is rising from their throne. The way she moves with grace is such a contrast to the rage on her face, and Taehyun tries to brace himself for what’s to come.
“ You were the one who chose to marry me. You were the one who said we should have kids. You were the one who said we should stay together until the kids were all grown up! Don’t tell ME ABOUT BURDENS WHEN YOU’VE DONE NOTHING FOR THIS FAMILY!”
Taehyun’s brain starts to short circuit after that, and although he can see his parents’ mouths moving, he can’t understand what they’re saying. He knows that they’re yelling, but he can’t hear it. All he’s registering is the fact that he’s a burden and he wants to be anywhere but here. The volume is making his head rattle and he can feel his body shaking. He wants to leave. He has to get out.
He takes it back. He doesn’t want to be part of this decision making process anymore. He thought that if he came then he would get to have a proper say in his future, but it seems like his parents never cared about that in the first place. The second he hears something crash to the ground, he’s up and out of his chair before he can even register what it was.
His fight or flight instinct has been activated, and he’s choosing flight. This time, he’s the one who gets to leave. Yuna and Youngho try to stop him as he makes his way towards the door, but he brushes them off. He feels bad for pushing them away, but he just can’t deal with them right now. He has to leave.
“Taehyun! Don’t go!” Yuna begs as Taehyun grabs his bag and opens their front door.
She manages to latch onto his arm and Taehyun feels himself being slowly pulled into the house. It’s like quicksand, he’s slowly sinking to his demise and he can barely do anything to escape. Taehyun digs his heels into the carpet and tries to pull back. Yuna and Youngho both stop with him in the entryway and give him confused looks.
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t want to be here! I have to get back, and clearly, I’m not wanted here.”
“What? No, Taehyun, of course you are! Mom and Dad just need a few minutes and then things will calm down so we can sort this out.”
“I don’t want to be here!” Taehyun repeats louder.
“Whoa ok let’s calm down.”
Youngho frowns when he realizes that Taehyun is shaking. He knew this would be hard for him, but he didn’t realize it would affect him this much.
“Yuna, let go of him. Let’s just take a second and calm down.”
There’s another crash in the dining room, this one louder than the last, and the two siblings watch as Taehyun suddenly drops to the ground and claps his hands over his ears. Back when they were all living together, Taehyun would occasionally have episodes like this, but usually he’d be in his room when they happened.
Yuna and Youngho both thought he’d grow out of it as he grew up, but it was foolish of them to assume that. Being back in the same house where everything happened and with their parents currently fighting probably doesn’t help. Even though the siblings knew about Taehyun’s attacks, they were never much help.
It’s one of their biggest regrets, not being there for Taehyun when he really needed them. Back then, they were too busy with their own lives and thought that simply remaining ignorant was the best choice. It wasn’t. They never realized that ignoring it would actually do Taehyun more harm than good. They thought they were doing the right thing, but looking at their younger brother now, they know it wasn’t.
Youngho quickly drops down to Taehyun’s level but makes sure not to touch him. Taehyun’s eyes are screwed shut and he’s clenching his jaw so tight that Youngho’s worried that he may hurt himself.
“I’m so sorry, Taehyun. We haven’t been looking out for you very well. We’re gonna get you out of here.”
Taehyun peeks one eye open to see Youngho extending a hand out to him. He shakily reaches out his own hand and allows his older brother to help him up and draw him into his side. A second later, he feels himself being guided towards the door and then Yuna is helping him put on his shoes before the three of them step outside.
The door shuts behind them and Youngho leads Taehyun to sit beside him on the front steps. He slips his backpack off and slings it onto the grass before leaning into his brother’s side. He focuses on the feeling of soft fabric touching his skin, his brother’s steady breaths, and Yuna’s comforting words as he tries to talk his brain off the edge.
The scent of smoke still lingers in the air, even outside of the house, but being away from the fighting makes a huge difference. Youngho spends a good few minutes just running his hand up and down Taehyun’s arm comfortingly, while Yuna runs a hand through his hair.
“I’m sorry, Taehyun,” Youngho repeats.
Youngho feels his little brother shake his head into his chest and cling onto the back of Youngho’s t-shirt.
“Why did you ask me to come?” Comes a slightly muffled reply.
“We thought you’d want to be here when we were dividing things up,” Yuna explains softly. “We thought you’d want to see the house one more time and maybe see mom and dad in person for a bit. I know you haven’t seen them in a while, but clearly that was not a good choice. I’m sorry we put you through that Taehyunnie.”
“We should have known that mom and dad would fight. I’m sorry we dragged you back into this mess. I’m sure the last thing you wanted to do was live through this again.”
“I’m sorry. I-I thought I’d be ok. But then they started yelling and I just--couldn’t,” Taehyun admits.
“Hey, it’s ok. You don’t have to be sorry. We can’t control how they act, and you don’t have to feel responsible,” Yuna says seriously. “I thought they would be better since they know they are separating, but I guess that’s not the case.”
“We’ll handle things with mom and dad, ok? You don’t need to worry about them, we’ve got it. We’ll deal with things here, just worry about yourself for a little bit.”
Taehyun wants to listen to them, he wants to be able to let this go, but he knows that he won’t be able to. He knows that he’ll be thinking about this for days, maybe even weeks, but he doesn’t want to worry his siblings. Plus, he has more pressing matters to worry about with their comeback and show with ENHYPEN coming up. So instead of admitting how he’s really feeling, he carefully bottles it up and plasters a smile on his face.
“I’ll try.”
“Ok, good! Please call us if you need anything. Do you need one of us to drive you back to the company building?”
“No it’s ok, it might be difficult for you all to get into the parking garage. I’ll just call our manager to pick me up.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, it’ll be fine. I’ll be fine!”
“Ok, well at least let us wait with you.”
When their manager finally pulls up in front of their house, Taehyun has mostly collected himself and carefully put his walls back up. He hugs his brother and sister goodbye before grabbing his backpack and hastily jumping into the backseat. He’s drained, both physically and emotionally, and all he wants to do is curl up under his bed with his favorite blue blanket from childhood.
His childhood home was even colder than he remembered, and he isn’t sure what to think about his parents separation. Should he cry? Be happy? Be angry? His heart hurts but he can’t place the emotion, he doesn’t want to feel. He wants to forget this ever happened and go back to solely worrying about his idol life.
He can do it. He just has to focus on the present. Go to practice, perform, don’t think about it. It’ll be fine, he’ll be fine.
Yeonjun is in their kitchen chugging down a glass of water at 2:00am when he hears movement from the maknae’s room. Without even having to step into the room he already knows who it is. Following the rustling of blankets comes the creak of the bed as the person tosses around. Then comes the faint sounds of uneven breathing. It’s Taehyun. Recently, the younger has been suffering from recurring nightmares.
Ever since he came back from visiting his family, he’s been off. He was already on edge before, but now it’s as if they’re all walking on eggshells. Even though Taehyun has been trying to push them away, they can all see that something is wrong and have been trying their best to help him from afar.
He refuses to talk about what happened, so the best they can do is provide silent support and wait for him to open up. Yeonjun, Soobin, and Beomgyu have been paying special attention to him at night. After Taehyun had expressed his fears about being abandoned and issues with sleep previously, all of them have been actively trying to spend time with him right before bed.
One of them is always there to talk with him or just be another presence in the room until Taehyun is just on the verge of sleep. Then they make sure he’s all tucked into bed in his shared room with Kai before leaving. Kai watches out for his best friend in his own ways by helping him whenever he has a nightmare and by providing comforting touches when Taehyun needs it.
They’ve all been doing their best, but it feels like nothing is helping. Their comeback is just around the corner now yet it seems like none of them are excited about it. They’re all lacking the usual joy and energy that typically comes with performing for MOAs, and they’re not sure how to solve it. Taehyun looks like he’s losing even more steam by the day, and it appears that he doesn’t have much left to give.
They’re going to have to change up their strategy or talk to Taehyun directly soon. The way the second youngest pushes every emotion aside and tightens his control on his routine can’t be healthy. They can all see the lapses in his façade. They see how he anxiously tugs at his hair, how his hands shake during practice, how he sticks to a strict routine of eat, shower, moisturize, and sleep as if the steps are the only thing that keeps him sane.
Whenever it’s Yeonjun’s turn to watch over Taehyun, he makes sure to be extra attentive. Recently, he’s noticed that Taehyun can’t seem to fully relax, his body seems to constantly be in a state of stress and the rapper has also noticed that Taehyun has become more clingy when he does allow contact.
Taehyun is snuggled up next to Yeonjun after a particularly bad nightmare, and it takes everything in Yeonjun’s power not to prod for answers. The past few nights Taehyun has been startled awake by victorious and vivid nightmares, even worse than usual. Despite one of them always being with him until he falls asleep, he still wakes up terrified. Beomgyu had come up to him and Soobin while Taehyun was out practicing the other afternoon, and had told them that Taehyun had been waking up at three am like clockwork every day. Since Beomgyu’s room is right next to the maknaes’, Yeonjun knows he probably hears more than he and Soobin do. The fact that Kai also came to them the same day, equally, if not more concerned, was also troubling.
Yeonjun hates that Taehyun is afraid, he hates that he feels like he has to keep up an act, and he hates the fact that he can’t do anything for his dongsaeng. The bedside light is turned on to its lowest setting, casting shadows around the room and causing Taehyun to be bathed in a nice glow. It’s such a stark contrast to the darkness that Yeonjun knows is plaguing the younger boy. The eldest member runs gently through Taehyun’s hair and untangles some of the small knots in the process.
I wish I knew what was going on in that head of yours. I wish you’d just tell us, but I know it can’t be that easy if you’re still keeping quiet about it. Whatever it is, I hope you know that we’ll always be here for you.
Taehyun is curled up in the fetal position, but his head rests peacefully on Yeonjun’s chest, rising and falling as the rapper breathes evenly. He doesn’t look peaceful, even in sleep his face still holds some tension and his mouth is turned down in a frown, but he also doesn’t look distressed so Yeonjun will take it.
Yeonjun pulls the covers up a little higher to ensure that Taehyun is covered before reaching over to switch the light off. He pauses when his hand meets the knob, analyzing Taehyun’s stoic expression worriedly, before finally plunging them into darkness.
Honestly, Yeonjun’s surprised that Taehyun even agreed to come to him that night. During the day, Taehyun has made it his life’s goal to avoid being affectionate and it hurts the rest of them to see him distancing himself so much. He even rejects Kai’s hugs, which is an incredibly difficult feat. They all know he’s doing it to protect himself, or maybe even them, but they all just wish he would let his walls down.
When he does allow himself to be coddled or doted on, he melts into it for a few minutes before seeming to shut down. It’s almost as if he’s preventing himself from enjoying it or as if he’s afraid they’ll reject him or something. It breaks Yeonjun’s heart. Every time he tries to ask Taehyun about it the younger boy immediately makes an excuse and sips out of his hyung’s hold.
They’ve all noticed how he’s consistently been started into consciousness by a nightmare, how he’s always bouncing his leg whenever they’re sitting, and how he’s started initiating contact with them less and less. They’ve tried the usual things they do whenever Taehyun is feeling off, but something about his behavior this time just feels different. It feels like there’s something deeper that’s chipping away at their friend, and they’re scared to find out the truth.
Yeonjun hears hushed voices from the maknaes’ room and assumes it’s Kai comforting Taehyun. He knows Taehyun is in good hands, but he still worries and quietly peeks into their room on his way back. He sees Kai hovering by Taehyun’s bed whispering something to him and then Kai slipping into Taehyun’s bed the next second. They’ll be ok, Yeonjun will just make sure to keep an extra eye out tomorrow.
For now, all they can do is silently support Taehyun.