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Sirius was the first to make it back to the dorm after their classes had finished for the day. He wasn’t sure where James and Peter had gone, but he assumed Remus would be in any moment now. Sirius dropped his robes and bag on the floor by the end of his bed and flopped down onto it. He rolled over to his side and closed his eyes for a moment. A few minutes later, Sirius heard the door open and shut quietly. Based on the quiet and precis movements, Sirius assumed that Remus was finally back from classes. He stayed in his bed, eyes gently closed, and waited for Remus to either address him or join him. It was something new they’d started doing recently. Sometimes when one of them was laying on their bed, mostly Remus around the full moons, the other would lay down beside them and just keep them company.
“Feeling okay?” Remus asked gently as Sirius felt the bed dip and Remus scoot onto it.
“Just tired,” he mumbled opening his eyes being greeted by Remus' face. He was searching Sirius’ face for something wrong, but Sirius knew he wouldn’t find anything. Sirius was fine before but doing better now that Remus had joined him on the bed. They just laid there looking at each other and there was nothing uncomfortable about the silence. When Remus adjusted his position slightly, Sirius watched a chunk of curls fall onto Remus’ forehead. Sirius reached up to push them back behind his ear and was surprised with how soft they were. This wasn’t the first time he had touched Remus’ curls, but he could never get over the soft texture.
Sirius kept running his fingers through the soft sandy brown hair. Remus’ eyes fluttered shut and he sighed softly at the contact. Sirius never thought he would get over how comfortable Remus has gotten with him over the past couple of years. It warmed his heart every time Remus would casually reach out to touch him over the lunch table or leaned into Sirius’ touch.
He loved building the memories of a soft Remus. The one who would lay down beside Sirius for a cuddle when he wanted it and didn’t hesitate to lean against him whenever he felt like it. The boy who closed his eyes when Sirius ran his fingers through his hair and traced the scars visible from the outside of his shirt. He still remembered when Remus would flinch whenever Sirius would brush his fingers against silver sticking out against the tan of Remus’ skin. Though he was still hesitant, he was much more comfortable if Sirius let his fingers trace down the side of his neck and catch on his collar, pulling it slightly to the side so he could access more of the warm skin. Sirius was beginning to think his own love language was physical contact, though not as extreme as James’, but enough to know that just being in contact with Remus made his day.
He also wondered if it was possibly just a soulmate thing. He didn’t get the same rush followed by indescribably comfort when he hugged James. Even though James was his best mate and even his brother, and hugging James was a treat of its own, it still didn’t compare to the feeling of Remus wrapping his long arms around Sirius’ shoulders. He wondered if had to do with the polar opposites of their body temperature. Sirius, never being able to chase the cold from his bones, paired with Remus, the man whose body ran hot, something he could thank werewolf metabolism for. He wondered if it was the way they fit perfectly in each other’s arms when they hugged. Since Remus’ growth spurt the summer between their third and fourth year, whenever Remus went in for a hug, Sirius would fit snuggly underneath his chin and under his armpits. Sirius could rest his head on Remus’ collarbones and feel his heartbeat through the skin of his cheeks. Remus would then rest his own cheek on the top of Sirius’ hair, and they would just fit.
There was no one but Remus who could make him smile simply by entering the room or make him blush with a simple look. There was no one else whose company he sought out as much as he sought out Remus’ company. He looked at no one else after he cracked a joke except for Remus, wondering if the boy would approve of his witty line. Though he was always aware Remus could come up with something wittier, it didn’t stop him from wanting Remus’ laughter as approval. No one else’s smile made him smile and no one else’s opinion mattered like Remus’.
There was also no one else he’d rather be lying in bed with. Just lying side by side, enjoying one another’s presence as if it were the most comforting thing in the world. And it was, in Sirius’ opinion, the most comforting thing in the world that is. Sirius would happily skip every class and every Quidditch game if he could lay in bed all day simply stroking Remus’ hair. Anything that brought that small satisfied smile to his soulmate’s face.
And as he was reflecting how much he adored his best friend. As he was detangling the wild curls from each other. As he analyzed every inch of Remus’ face, Sirius came to the jarring realization that not only would he do anything to stay cuddled up with Remus forever, he would also do anything to know what Remus’ soft pink lips would feel like pressed against his own.
His hand stilled in Remus’ hair for a moment causing Remus’ eyes to flicker open.
“Is everything all right?” Remus whispered into the small space between their faces.
Sirius couldn’t find the words to tell Remus about the sudden realization he just had. They had agreed way back in their first year that they were platonic soulmates. Sirius didn’t know much about romantic relationships, but he did know that the rush of feelings he was feeling for Remus were not what one would consider platonic. He was worried if he said something, he would jeopardize his friendship with the most important person in his life. As much as Sirius was sometimes a selfish person, he couldn’t be selfish with Remus. He couldn’t take what he wanted from his boy without knowing that Remus also wanted it too.
“Sirius?” Remus asked again after Sirius was silent for too long.
“’M fine Moony,” he mumbled looking everywhere but Remus’ burning amber eyes.
Remus reached his hand up and pushed it through Sirius’ hair. The contact made him shiver slightly then was quickly countered by his body heating up. His eyes threatened to close, but instead, he finally shifted them to meet Remus’ amber ones.
“You know you’re my best friend,” Remus said in no louder than a whisper. “You can tell me anything, anything that’s bothering you.”
“Moony…” Sirius breathed out.
The hand in his hair stopped, matching the position his own hand was in. They both stilled in that position, cradling one another’s head, eyes locked, breaths mingling in the small space between the faces.
And he wanted to do it, he wanted to lean forward so bad he couldn’t find one reason not to. He wanted to throw caution in the wind and give in to his desires. And based on the way Remus was looking at him at that moment, the way he was touching Sirius as if he were the most precious thing in the world, he tricked himself into thinking Remus wanted it to.
The desire mixed with the false statement he talked himself into fuelled his next move.
He moved slowly, not wanting to spook the boy while also giving him the option to pull away. Sirius’ eyes kept flicking between Remus’ pink, slightly parted lips, and his eyes that were also flicking back and forth the same features. Multiple seconds passed before he could feel Remus’ breath on his own lips, causing him to part them slightly and poke his tongue out to moisten them. Remus watched the entire movement before mimicking him and moving slightly closer to close the gap even more.
That was all the indication Sirius needed to finish the motion. He pitched forward and pressed their lips together; their lips parted even more thanks to the pressure of the kiss. Sirius sighed faintly into the kiss. He felt like he was on fire at any and all point of contact between Remus and him; he briefly wondered if this was because of Remus’ abnormally high body temperature or if it was simply because Remus’ touch was so electric. With his eyes closed, he could focus on the feeling of Remus’ lips making small movements against his own. It made him push even closer, pulling Remus forward by the curls and moving his body so he was pressed gently against Remus.
The increased contact caused Remus to let out a breathy sigh, something that motivated Sirius to move more insistently against his lips. The hand in his hair tightened and pulled his face closer so their noses were smushed against one another’s cheeks. Their breaths came faster resulting in little puffs of air tickling their faces as they breathed together, occasionally letting out a sigh. Sirius knew eventually one of them would have to pull back for air, but he never wanted the feeling of Remus’ lips against his own to end.
Despite that, however, Sirius was the first to pull back. The sound of the breaking suction between their lips was gentle, and Sirius kept his eyes closed for a moment longer taking in the lingering feeling of the kiss and listening to Remus’ increased breathing.
“Wow,” he breathed out, opening his eyes and letting a bright smile take over his face.
“Wow,” Remus echoed smiling softly with his slightly puffy lips. Remus started moving his hand again, smoothing down the hair he had gripped during their kiss. “What does this mean Sirius?”
What did it mean? Sirius had always known that Remus was special to him, but he reduced it all to the fact they were soulmates. And now he wondered if the soulmate thing wasn’t all to his feelings about Remus. Now he had a clearer head about this all; that kiss had been extremely liberating. He wanted to do it again and again and again and chase that electrifying feeling he felt from his head down to the tingle in his toes.
“It means that I like you Remus, and I know we agreed to be platonic soulmates, but my feelings for you are a little bit more than that.”
Remus’ smile could light all of Hogwarts. “Mine too.”
A warm feeling bloomed in his chest. The words mixed with Remus’ expression made his heart feel like it was bursting from his chest, in a good way of course. Remus grabbed the wrist that was still in his hair, the same one that had RJL on it. Remus brought it down and pressed his initials to his mouth, leaving a chaste kiss on Sirius’ skin.
“It’s always been inevitable hasn’t it,” he whispered against the skin leaving warm breaths of air behind. Sirius didn’t fight the shiver that travelled from his spine to his toes. “That someday we’d get to this point.”
Sirius smiled back. “You know when I first found out you were my soulmate, I was worried about what that would mean for our friendship, but I never imagined that one day having found you would make me this happy. You’re my safe space Moony.”
Sirius bit his lip after having admitted all that. He searched amber eyes for any reaction and was greeted with twinkling fondness. A second later, Remus’ thumb brushed across his mouth pulling his bottom lip from its position between his teeth. All of a sudden it was gone and replaced by Remus’ lips. The second kiss was just as good as the first, giving Sirius the same feeling as before. He couldn’t stop grinning and he could feel Remus’ own lips pull upwards.
“Sirius,” Remus whispered against his lips. “Does this mean that we’re real soulmates now?”
“We were always soulmates Moony, just now we’re soulmates with feelings. Soulmates who hold hands in the hallways and kiss–”
“In front of people?” Remus whispered in wonder.
“Yes, I want everyone to know you’re my soulmate.”
“And I want everyone to know you’re mine.”
Sirius leaned forward to kiss Remus again, their third kiss but was interrupted by the door of their dorm room opening.
“Lads, you’ll never believe…well what do we have here?” Remus poked his head over Sirius' shoulder to take a look at James and Sirius turned to his back. “You look cozy.”
Sirius sat up quickly. “James, Moony is my boyfriend now!”
“Boyfriend?” Remus asked sitting up and scooting closer to Sirius and hooking his chin over his shoulder. Sirius leaned into the casual touch and smile with contentment.
“Boyfriend,” Sirius confirmed.
“You guys!” James shouted throwing his arms around the both of them. “I’m so happy for you! I’ve been waiting for this since Sirius first showed me his mark!”
“James, that was three years ago,” Sirius said laughing. “And we’ve been friends up till now.”
James pulled back and smirked. “Oh right, yes, platonic soulmates, I never believed that. You’re soulmates! Made for each other! Boyfriends!”
“Yes, yes, thank you, James,” Remus said beaming. “Glad you got there before we did.”
The three of them, all smiles and laughter, flopped back onto Sirius’ bed. “Now we just wait for my Lilyflower to realize we’re soulmates and everything will be perfect.”
Sirius and Remus shared a look over James’ shoulder. Sirius couldn’t help the smile overtaking his face at Remus’ joy. He had made this beautiful boy happy, and he felt so full because of it. He couldn’t believe that he never believed in soulmates before, that he had never been taught about the power another person would have on your life. But now, he couldn’t imagine a life where the boy across from him didn’t mean the world to him.
Sirius had been skeptical about someone being made for him, but looking at Remus’ sandy brown curls, his amber eyes lightened with happiness, the silver scars poking out from his collar, his white teeth with the crooked canines and his tan warm skin, he couldn't imagine anyone else more perfect for him. And as Sirius looked at this boy, he realized that not only was this boy his soulmate, this was the man Sirius was falling in love with.