Chapter Text
Cassian.
Cassian dreamt of war.
Bodies, broken and burning, falling from the skies. Cries of pain echoing in his ears, louder than the roar of any ocean. One, two, three stumbling steps forward. Boots sinking into earth softened by blood and refuse. The siphons on his hands glinted dully, all but spent. Somewhere in the back of his mind a voice was calling for him to stop to rest and allow the debilitating exhaustion to take over, to lull him into the bliss of nothingness. But he pressed on, pulled ahead by something stronger than the voice, something that had him moving like a dog yanked along on a leash.
Cassian.
Nearby, a set of wings tumbled to the earth, bloodied stumps cleaved from their owner. Cassian felt the bile rise at the back of his throat.
Cassian.
Just a few more steps, then he would rest. A few more strides and he would allow the promise of blackness to take him under--pull him far enough down so that he would never resurface. Just a few more--
“Cassian.”
Cold hands on his chest jerked the Illyrian from his dream. He twisted left, hands instinctively reaching for his blades. “You’re dreaming.”
Those cold hands caught his face, bringing him back around, face to face with his mate. Nesta. Cassian could feel the tension leave his shoulders like water cascading down a river. His muscles unclenched, covered in cold sweat, as the blue-gray eyes bore into his.
“You’re home.” Nesta repeated, stroking his cheek with her thumb. “It’s alright.”
The scent of her filled his nostrils, replacing the memory of smoke and copper. His hands relaxed to his sides. “Did I wake you?”
Nesta kissed him lightly.
Cassian peered over at the far window in their bedroom. The faintest hint of dawn had begun to stain the sky. He sighed heavily, running a calloused hand over his face. Dreams of war had plagued him constantly in his youth, but their court and others had seen nothing but peace for nearly two and a half millennia. Yet this one had been so real, so vivid in its sights and smells. “I don’t know what came over me.”
“It never fades,” Nesta said, softly. “Not truly, anyway.”
Cassian stared at her. The eyes that met his reflected their own acquaintance with nightmares and visions of battles long over.
“But we’re home now,” She murmured, pulling them both back from the grim precipice of reflection. “And that home is safe. So are the ones we love.” Another soft kiss, this time on his shoulder. “That’s all that matters.”
Cassian released his breath, leaning back against the headboard of their shared bed, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her in closer, just to feel her exhalations against the crook of his neck.
They stayed like that for an untold number of moments, inhales matched evenly, their chests rising and falling in synchronous harmony. Slowly, the sounds and images of bodies tumbling from the sky began to fade, now nothing more than distant memories to be kept tucked away.
“What would I do without you?” He whispered.
Warmth vibrated through their mating bond.
He could have stayed like that forever, holding her and breathing in her scent and relishing in the soft rhythm of her heartbeat.
“So stay.” Nesta murmured, as if reading his thoughts, her cheek warm against his torso.
Cassian smiled. “I wish I could.”
She stirred, tilting back her head and staring up at him. “Tell me, what was the point in retiring when half the time I still end up sharing you with early morning meetings and war camp business?”
“As if you’re any better.” He challenged, knowing full well she’d never taken both hands fully off of the Valkyries or the overseeing of various court affairs.
Nesta snorted, untangling herself from him.
Cassian laughed under his breath and sat up, pulling the linen sheets from his side of the bed off of his legs. The air in the House was chilled, a typical sign that winter was well on its way. He paused on the edge of the bed for a moment, craning his neck in a circle and stretching out his wings, the muscles in his back protesting the movement from beneath layers of scar tissue. The icy texture of their bedroom floor made his skin tingle as he stood and walked to their shared closet, slightly favoring his right knee, the joint stiff and creaky underneath his weight.
“You’re sure you're up to moving around this early, old man?” Nesta teased, studying him lazily from across the room.
Cassian eyed her over his shoulder, pulling a woolen tunic from the closet. “Old man?”
“We’ll have to get you a cane soon enough if you keep hobbling around like that.” Humor danced behind her eyes.
Cassian slipped into the fresh set of clothes, a playful growl at the back of his throat. He eyed her up and down, gaze hungry. “Why don’t you let this old man show you what he’s capable of after dinner tonight?”
Nesta piqued an eyebrow as he came closer to her. “Is that a promise?”
“What do you think?” He breathed, nipping playfully at her pointed ear.
Nesta shrugged, feigning inattention, though her scent changed ever so subtly. “We’ll see if you can still keep up with someone five hundred years your junior.”
The shift in her pheromones alone was enough to turn his thoughts into a jumbled mess. Four millenia together and she still held sway over him like no other fae or human he’d ever met. “That we will.” he promised, trailing kisses from the nape of her neck to her lips.
Nesta let out the softest moan, her hands instinctively reaching towards him. But he pulled back, right before the stirring of her need forced him out of his clothes and back into their bed.
“Until tonight, then.”
Simmering desire, laced with frustration at his curbing of her appetite, buzzed down the mating bond as Nesta huffed and leaned back against the pillows, head propped on one slender arm.
Cassian crossed the room and turned once more before stepping into the hallway, drinking in the sight of her form, bathed in soft morning light. The centuries hadn’t dimmed an ounce of his yearning for her. He allowed his full appreciation to surge down the mating bond, smiling as she flushed and waved him off, turning back to burrow into the mountain of pillows on their bed. “I love you.”
She smiled, sleep already overtaking her senses. “I know.”