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“Is everyone present?” Principal Nedzu called out to the students of Class 1-A as he stood atop All Might’s shoulder. “Excellent! Now, as you are all aware, today is your Final Exams. While we normally have two-person teams go against a single teacher, there has been a change in the organization this year.”
This caused everyone, including the assorted teachers, to be surprised.
“We have a special guest who will be taking all of you on their own, as per special request of Yamada-san, Kayama-san, and All Might!” the furry rodent of unknown origin said, breaking a small yet menacing grin on his face. “But first! Will everyone make their way to Ground Beta?”
Complying with the chimera’s cryptic request, the students made their way to the center of Ground Beta, with Izuku muttering about who they could be fighting against. Bakugo, like his usual bitchy self, was glaring daggers at the greenette as if his existence was an utter insult to him.
Little did they know just what was being cooked up for them…
Elsewhere…
“Are you sure this is a good idea, All Might? We could still go with the usual–” Shota Aizawa, better known as Eraserhead (or, alternatively, the teacher who’s too lazy to run a class, as given by Vlad King two years ago), asked before he was interrupted by All Might raising up his hand.
“I know this sounds very stupid, Aizawa-san, but it was too funny to pass up. Plus, the students will be able to learn how to deal with an eccentric villain,” the muscular blond countered, “Plus, it’s gonna be a good source of entertainment for the next hour.”
Aizawa couldn’t find a good enough argument to counter that, so he just sighed and took a seat in the observation room.
Meanwhile…
“Is it all set up, Maijima-san?” Mirai Sasaki, better known by his hero name Sir Nighteye, asked the Support Course teacher. Now, you all may be wondering why the former sidekick of All Might was doing at U.A. High.
To cut a long story slightly less long, it all began after the Sports Festival. Sir had sent an internship request to Izuku, but not at all in good spirits. He wanted to talk to the greenette upfront and personally in order to convince him to hand off One For All to the Tintin knock-off that was Mirio Togata, as he took it very personal that All Might had chosen a middle-schooler to pass his quirk onto. Now, being the fanboy that he was, Izuku accepted the internship with the foresight hero.
On the first day of the internships, Izuku was sent up to Sir’s office and he was immediately given an absolutely scathing talk by the pro-hero. Though, instead of crying, the verdette stood his ground and gave his own reprimand to the hero that left him with much to think about. Mirio later would say that it was like “Sir had gone through the horrors of middle school all over again.”
After the first day, the two had reconciled and hit off quite nicely, particularly when it came to any discussions about All Might himself. When the internships had concluded, Izuku came back with not only a better handle on his quirk, but a small, shy six-year-old girl with pale blue-gray hair and a small horn on the right side of her forehead.
The girl’s name was Eri.
And to get to why he was actually at the school, several days ago, he was contacted by his former partner to come and participate in the Final Exams for Class 1-A. He had made up his mind to mend their broken friendship, so he accepted, but he wanted to put a bit of a show on to give everyone something to look back on…
Back to the present, Power Loader gave the lanky hero the thumbs-up to let him know that everything was set up for him to start.
Adjusting his glasses, Mirai took a deep breath. “Showtime,” was all that he muttered out before he pressed a button on the monitor console in front of him.
As the last of the students gathered to the center of Ground Beta, they were still confused as to why they were gathered there in the first place. Izuku hadn’t let up on his muttering, and it finally got under Bakugo’s nerves.
“Shut the hell up, Deku! We’re here to take a test, not listen to your fucking creepy muttering!” the bombastic blond shouted to the viridian, which caused him to snap out of it and put up his arms in defense before he regained himself and stood up straight.
“And it’s not nice to explode onto others, Kacchan.”
The greenette talked back. The blond pomeranian balked at the nerve of his former victim to dare talk back to him. But just as he was about to throw a punch, the training ground’s P.A. system crackled to life.
“(Welcome to Tilted Towers, 1-A,)” the voice of Sir Nighteye spoke through the speakers and everyone. Froze. Up.
Mina and Kaminari in particular tensed up the most as they were the most affiliated out of the class with pop culture.
“Oh no… not the ‘Memetic Technic,’” Izuku whispered under his breath, paling at the realization of what was going to happen to him and his fellow classmates.
“(You have thirty minutes to beat me before the time is up. Otherwise, it’s about to get Mount Fiji up in this bitch. Will y’all be cringe or based? Find out more at Eleven.)”
Elsewhere…
“Why do I feel like I just lost ten years of my life…” Aizawa muttered to himself as he heard the words that came from the most serious pro besides Endeavor.
“I don’t know why you’re complaining, Sho! This is the best thing ever!” Hizashi Yamada, otherwise known as Present Mic, said as he stuffed a mouthful of popcorn into his face.
The hobo cosplayer just sighed as he relented to the migraine he was about to get from listening to these pre-quirk era phrases.
“Am I the imposter, or mister vent-crosser?” Mirai said as he was in front of Mina and Kaminari, a devious smile on his face.
“Please… stop this torture…” the acid and electric users begged as they were confronted by the lanky hero, crying their eyes out at the cringe they were enduring from him.
“Aw, what’s the matter? Not based enough to handle mah swag?”
The duo only cried harder, hugging each other in a feeble attempt to ward off the incorrect usage of memes.
“I must go. My planet needs meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,” the pro trailed off, and taking the middle finger to physics, he floated away from the crybabies as he did an A-pose.
“I’ve come to make an announcement: Pomeranian the edge-dog’s a bitch-ass motherfucker; he dissed on my fucking intern! That’s right, he took out his rat-dog dirty mouth, and he dissed on my fucking intern!” Mirai said as he dodged the attacks of the blond pomeranian in front of him.
“Argh, fucking stop! Go to hell!” he shouted, his brain going into aneurysm overdrive at the misuse of these strange phrases.
“What the dawg doin’?” the pro said, as he brought down a spinning kick that connected with the blond’s face, knocking him out cold. “Guess he wasn’t woke enough to handle my ara-ara-ing.”
And I have no fucking idea what I’m even writing anymore. I think a part of my brain just had a fucking aneurysm.
Iida was trying to land a Recipro-burst on the lanky pro, but due to the phrases he was currently spouting out.
“Enough of this! I will defeat you and make my family proud!”
Dodging the kick from the Ingenium name inheritor, Mirai said, “Aww, now that wasn’t very pogchamp of you.”
Being further thrown off by the confusing phrasing, the sonic rip-off just swung faster to try and get a hit.
Unfortunately, he forgot that he wasn’t fast enough to take on this cracked-up Doberman and was promptly dealt with as quickly as Hiroshima was flattened by Little Boy.
And to add insult to injury, Mirai pulled the worst possible move he could on Iida; He T-posed over the defeated student.
“Can’t hit me,” he stoically said, promptly causing the blue-haired speedster to go into a PTSD attack and curl into a ball while crying.
As Izuku was walking under a small tunnel, Danger Sense blared in his brain and he turned his head up to see Mirai smiling down at him as if mimicking a certain pink, star-shaped echinoderm of olde.
Leaping back to dodge his kick, Izuku steadied himself as he was the last of his classmates around.
“Well if it isn’t saucy wojack,” the pro said, as he was walking towards the greenette.
“It seems like it’s just you, me, and my fists.”
“You are a bold one, Dekiru.”
“How else am I supposed to vent and eject my sussiness?”
“That’s a nice argument, Dekiru. Why don’t you back that up with a source?”
“My source is that I made it the fuck up!” Izuku said, before pulling out Blackwhip and fashioning it like a sword.
“Hmm, you will be defeated, but you will be braver than most.”
“Reddit has taught me well,” the viridian said as he started walking up to the lanky pro.
“Oh? You’re approaching me? Instead of running away like the rabbit you are, you’re approaching me?”
“I can’t be based enough if I can’t come close enough to beat the shit out of you,” he said stoically, before seemingly beefing up and gaining a sharper jawline.
“Ho ho, then come as close as you like!”
The two walked menacingly towards each other, mimicking Jojo’s fight against Dio in Stardust Crusaders.
After a bunch of kicking and dodging, Izuku was lying on the ground, exhausted from all the fighting.
“Guess you weren’t based in the end…”
“Izuku!” a new voice cried out, and Izuku turned to see a cybernetic dog standing over the edge of a building, holding a jar of red liquid in its jaws.
“Melissa!” Izuku recognized the voice as that of one of his girlfriends, Melissa Shield.
“Remember why you’ve come this far! Despite all the challenges and mentally-deficient morons that call themselves villains, you’ve always stood up to the challenge, despite them thinking you have an IQ that was the room temperature in Alaska!”
“You are the best Girlfriend ever!”
“Mei wanted to talk as well!”
And suddenly, the jar crackled to life, “That’s right, I inserted a speaker into this baby!” Mei spoke through it, fully throwing this fic’s sense off the rails, “Remember, Izu-kun, if you win this, you’ll have bed-time with me and Mel-chan, if you know what I mean ;)”
“Take this to get bedtime cuddles!” Melissa shouted before the cyber-dog threw the red-like substance at him, to which he caught in his hand.
Mirai just jumped up to where the cyber-dog was and kicked it, shouting “You’re my little dogchamp!”
Izuku, meanwhile, guzzled down the substance as if it was a bottle of chug-jug. He immediately felt re-energized and got up.
“Nighteye!” he shouted out to the pro, “You’re not based enough to defeat me!”
And after he jumped down, the two engaged in an epic fight, throwing based and cringe memes to each other. The fight took several minutes, before Izuku finally knocked Mirai on his back, pointing his Blackwhip sword to his throat.
“I guess you were based after all…” the pro said, cracking a smile.
“(And that’s time! Congratulations, Midoriya-san! You have passed!)”
“Now that is what I call poggers,” the greenette said to himself before he ran to join his girlfriends.
Elsewhere…
Eri had no idea what was going on, exactly. Papa Izuku was fighting against uncle Nighteye, and they were saying a whole bunch of weird words to each other that made her aunts and uncles cry and sit down like when she got sad.
But it was the last fight and the word that Papa Izuku uttered that made her think.
Turning to uncle Shota, she asked him, “Uncle Shota, what is ‘Poggers?’”
And for the first time since she had arrived at U.A., she saw uncle Shota cry into his hands.
She was confused, but she could just ask Papa Izuku or Mama Melissa and Mei about what it was later on.