Chapter Text
The minute he touched Merlin’s hand it had all come rushing back.
Camelot
Arthur
The Knights
Lancelot and Merlin
By the time Merlin found Gwaine he’d already found Arthur, Gwen (and consequently Elyan), and Lancelot. Between the five of them he didn’t reckon it would take long to find the others.
Up until a few weeks ago he didn’t realize what he’d been missing. That the bone deep ache that seemed so present in this life was him missing someone. Well two someones really. He had already lost Lance back in Camelot and never got to say goodbye to Merlin. And to know that Merlin had been alone for 1,400 years filled him with a sorrow he hadn’t known in this new life.
And that’s why his hurt felt so insignificant.
He knew, logically, that Merlin loved him and that he loved him and Lance equally. But to know that Merlin had trusted Lancelot with his magic but not Gwaine, it stung. And it wasn’t that he was jealous of Lancelot either, he loved him just as much as Merlin did, but he and Merlin had mourned together. He’d wondered from the moment Merlin had sat him down and explained his magic what made him less worthy of his trust than Lancelot.
Maybe, he mused to himself, swirling his whisky ‘round the glass, it was the drinking. That certainly hadn’t changed in this life either. Gwaine was still himself even in a new millennia.
He was drawn from his musing by Elyan’s laugh from across the table. Arthur, having not lived very long in the 21st century, was being shown the highlights of modern life and Elyan loved being his teacher. Merlin sat between Gwaine and Lance bemusedly watching his king fumble with Elyan’s cellphone. It had been his idea that the start meeting at the pub Gwaine worked the bar for once a week to regroup and resocialize.
Gwaine enjoyed spending time with the others for the most part, but on nights like this one he was less apt to be around everyone. Stuck up in his head all he could focus on was his own misery.
Soon, however, it was Gwen who saved him.
“Alright Elyan, I think that’s enough for tonight” she said just as her brother was beginning to show Arthur another app. To be fair Princess was looking a little frazzled by all the new information he was getting.
Arthur smiled up at her as she grabbed his hand and pulled him from the table.
“Right then, we’ll see you all later then” Arthur nodded to the rest of them as they waved the happy couple off.
Gwaine smiled after them. He was happy for them. To find old love in a new life was a gift, no matter how much it seemed to eat him up sometimes.
“Alright you two, let’s head out” Lance said standing as Merlin stretched in his seat.
“I’ll settle the tab then” Gwaine volunteered heading over to the bar.
By the time they were out the door and said goodbye to Elyan, Merlin was yawning and leaning heavily on Gwaine.
At least this hasn’t changed.
It wasn’t a long walk to Merlin’s flat. Their flat now, really. It was a sturdy little brick building with two floors. The lower housed the bookstore that Merlin owned and the upper the flat they had made home. Lancelot and Gwaine had both been eager to move in as soon as Merlin found them and it worked well for them.
Coming in the door Gwaine took a deep breath. Being here anchored him. Being with Merlin and Lance anchored him.
While he and Lance readied for bed, taking turns with the single bathroom, Merlin stretched out on the bed. When Gwaine enters the bedroom Merlin smiled lazily stretching his arms out to him. Something inside Gwaine softened. He crawled atop Merlin planting a kiss on his lips before curling into his chest.
“Love you” Merlin whispered, running his fingers through Gwaine’s hair.
Gwaine smiled into his chest, feeling Lance climb in the bed behind him.
“Love you both” he said, clicking off the light.
“G’night love you” Gwaine replied to them both.
It was enough. It had to be.