Chapter Text
Hawks had always felt like hero meetings were hard to get through, but this one excelled in that sense. Talking about strategies and plans to not get utterly destroyed by villains, ones that seemed way more powerful than they were, even though none of them would admit that, was something most of them would have liked to avoid. This was mandatory though, they couldn’t just sit there and do nothing, a lot of heroes had retired already - if they could still be called “heroes”. It left the others with no other choice than to start discussing important matters now rather than later, they didn’t have time to spare. It seemed as though a bomb was ticking above their head and none of them could ignore it.
Pro-heroes from all over the country were gathered around an immense table in Endeavor’s living room, and while that sight was clearly interesting, it wasn’t under the best circumstances. Though, Endeavor’s daughter, Fuyumi, had tried to make it more joyful by decorating the table. It looked very nice, but it didn’t make this meeting easier to go through.
They had been going back and forth for an hour now. Discussing what had happened, what could and what would definitely happen. They could almost say they had been honest and open during this whole meeting, but it wasn’t entirely true, and some issues still remained unspoken.
“Endeavor,” Best Jeanist started as everyone turned to look at him, probably dreading what he was going to say next, some topics being harder to bring up than others, “we need to talk about Dabi, now.”
And there it was, Hawks thought. They had been going around this subject for over an hour now, no one wanted to talk about that and as someone that had been somewhat close to the League of Villains, Hawks didn’t want to talk about it either, but he also had a plan he needed to talk about. Now that they were finally going to talk about it, he wasn’t sure how he could bring it up lightly, he was scared of causing a commotion and unnecessary arguing. Hopefully, they would trust him enough on that matter after he had been somewhat involved with the League for months.
“I know. It is my responsibility to take him down,” Endeavor said, visibly uneasy with the topic, but who wouldn’t feel uneasy when it came to talking about your villain son in front of a crowd of heroes, “I will not have him take another life without doing anything about it, I promise you.”
“Dad,” Shouto started, everyone eyeing him curiously since he hadn’t uttered a word since the beginning of the meeting, it seemed some even forgot he was present in the first place, “no one expects you to take him down alone. I thought we talked about it, even though you did pretty fucked-up shit, it is not entirely your responsibility, Touya knew damn well what he was doing.”
Endeavor appeared stunned at that, just like everyone else around them. They probably had been shocked by Todoroki’s foul language and for most of them, it didn’t sound anything close to forgiveness, but Endeavor knew this was the closest he would get to it. He stared at his son for a good minute, considering what to say next.
“Guys, not to break your little moment, but I wanted to suggest a plan regarding that particular topic.” Hawks clearly interrupted them, but people seemed used to his inappropriate behaviour at this point, he truly didn’t know how to hold back it seemed.
“All right, what’s your plan?” Endeavor asked, giving Hawks all of his attention considering the urgency of the situation they were in. He would work on his family issues later, they had more pressing matters to discuss. The stakes were too high to allow any distraction.
“Let me tell you first, you’re not gonna like it,” Hawks started, and if he had been nervous about explaining this stupid plan before, he was now sweating loads, thinking about multiple ways Endeavor would try to kill him on the spot for even considering doing this. “Like, oh boy, you’re not gonna like that one!”
“Spit it, Hawks.” Endeavor was growing slightly impatient; he had come to know Hawks after they had worked together for a while. Hawks was usually honest and straightforward, he knew that if he said he wouldn’t like it, then he wouldn’t, which made him suspicious yet curious.
“Alright, alright, big man, I’m gonna go straight to the point then,” Hawks took a deep breath before spitting out his ridiculous idea, “What if Dabi joined us?”
Silence took over the room as soon as it registered in their heads, and Hawks hated that. The room wasn’t particularly loud before but this was somehow worse. Perhaps his choice of words had been bad?
He felt like he needed to clarify, but at the same time, he couldn’t cut the awkward silence he had created. So, he just waited for the information to sink in, and for someone to object and tell him how ridiculous that idea was, but that never came.
Instead, Endeavor asked a rather simple question,
“Why?”
Hawks looked at him, confused for a second, wondering if he really was considering his idea or not. But Endeavor seemed serious, his whole body language was very telling of how hard it was for him to talk about his eldest son, so it most likely wasn’t sarcasm.
Hawks had been waiting for an objection and had been prepared for it, not getting one simply through him off. How was Endeavor, out of all people, actually considering it, or at least wondering where his idea came from, without dismissing it entirely. It was very out of character for him, but then, that shouldn’t have surprised Hawks, it was clear the Endeavor sitting across this table wasn’t the same as the one he had met years ago. Despite knowing that, he still could not hide his surprise.
“I got Dabi to talk about his own objectives, not just the League’s.” Hawks paused for a moment, he needed to choose his words carefully now. He did think his idea could work but he didn’t know if other people would follow him on it, after all, they were not as acquainted with Dabi as he was, not even Endeavor, which was pretty sad now that he thought about it. For them, he was a regular villain, which also implied he was a terrible person, and while he couldn’t totally disagree on that point, it wasn’t all it was, all he was. Hawks was definitely going to try his best to portray Dabi the way he had known him. Trying to make sense of who Dabi really was to a bunch of heroes seemed like a tedious task, but that needed to be done. He could pretend with other members of the League and say they were just villains and it was all there was, but not with Dabi. He had one too many late-night talks with the man to be able to dissimulate what he had learned and how much his views on hero society had changed since then.
“He told me the League wasn’t about Stain’s ideology like he thought they were when he first joined them. He said he didn’t fully understand the League’s purpose anymore, and that he would have already left if it wasn’t for the few people he met along the way. So, I would say he isn’t as close to the League as it seems, or at least he doesn’t want to destroy heroes altogether like All For One does. He also kept calling All For One the “No-face scary fucker” and other questionable nicknames, so I have no doubt he dislikes him” Hawks explained, looking at everyone around the table, some made disdained faces clearly disapproving the idea of a partnership with a villain even after his attempt at an explanation. Hawks could understand that. He had felt that same way during his first meetings with Dabi. He had apprehended each meeting for a while, scared that he would see through his lies, concerned for his own safety and for the future that awaited them.
But then, after a few months amongst them, he had come to realise the League wasn’t what it seemed. From the outside, it did seem like they were a scary and evil organisation that just wanted to kill people for fun. But from the inside, it was just a bunch of broken young people coming together to try and make a change to a society that broke them.
Not that Hawks thought this was the way to do it, but he now knew it was far from “evil” even if it was still cold-hearted. They also usually didn’t go for useless kills and had mostly killed only the people that stood against them, heroes like villains. They didn’t care about killing civilians.
While killing as a whole wasn’t something any of them condoned, they couldn’t say they hadn’t done it as heroes. They clearly had, which meant that the line separating villains and heroes was thin. Heroes would defend themselves by saying they killed to “protect”, but villains have things they need to protect too. What Hawks saw during his time with the League was very far from the way people depicted them.
That didn’t apply to every member of the League though, Shigaraki was fairly close to people’s depiction of “evil” and what the League was about, he clearly didn’t care about changing society anymore, he just wanted to get rid of heroes in general, but he is probably more All For One than he is Shigaraki by now anyway. That left him wondering what Shigaraki stood for in the first place, without All For One guidance – or control rather. What would have been his goal? They would probably never know.
“How can you be certain he didn’t lie to you?” Eraser Head asked, and the more Hawks looked at him, the less he wanted to do this.
Aizawa had faced the consequences of the last battle head-on, and the worst thing was probably that it was visible . The bandage covering his lost eye and the wheelchair he was in after losing a leg were reminders of what they had already faced. It proceeded to make everyone feel even more uncomfortable at the possibility of being joined by a villain.
Hawks realised that people must feel the same about him , people probably looked at him the way he looked at Aizawa, spotting and analysing what he had lost in the battle, making them reconsider some ideas in fear that could happen again – or worse, to them .
Hawks still hadn’t fully recovered his wings and he was still wearing bandages around his arms and neck. Now that he thought about it, he felt like a fool. Those burns were caused by Dabi’s fire, his idea probably sounded self-destructive or desperate and he wished he could tell what everyone else was thinking.
But, even if his idea did sound crazy, it also was one of their best options if they didn’t want to lose the inevitable upcoming war. They clearly were disadvantaged by the number of people willing to fight on their side, which was currently at an all-time low. They needed allies – strong ones that is. They all knew that for a fact, which is probably why no one has rejected Hawks’ idea outright even though they were concerned. They had to try.
If any villain had a change of heart, they needed to take the opportunity and assistance, whatever those people had done in the past was an issue they could deal with later, however, the war wasn’t going to wait for them, they already fought the first battles. If they didn’t gather more people and soon, then they would have no chance of winning.
Hawks thought Bakugo of all people would have said something – or anyone in Class 1-A for that matter. It was still confusing to have them here, but after the class retrieved Midoriya, they couldn’t let him go. They made it clear they were going to fight by his side, as much as All Might and other pro-heroes had tried to keep them away from this meeting, they showed up anyway, they brought their own chairs and sat down in silence, no one had felt like kicking them out and they let them participate. It felt wrong to reject their involvement when they had faced more than some Pro-Heroes, they have been attacked countless times by now, yet they were still here, willing to fight when most people would have run away from the battle – actually most pros already had .
They had been polite through it all though, even Bakugo, which was surprising. He was not known for being calm about anything so it already was unusual, but for him to be calm when they talked about Dabi , that really was surprising.
Especially since he had all the rights to express his concerns. After all, he was his kidnapper, which wasn’t an easy thing to deal with and to top it off, Hawks suggests he could join them. If it had been him, Hawks probably would have lashed out. Instead, Bakugo remained silent, even though Hawks couldn’t help but notice the fire of revenge in his eyes, he seemed to know it would help them tons if they had such a powerful ally.
“Oh, trust me, he didn’t lie,” Keigo shifted in his seat anxiously, wondering if he should tell them that, but decided after a moment that it was better to tell the truth – or partially at least, “I kind of got him drunk to get information, and yeah I guess I got a bit drunk too and we started talking pretty openly.”
He decided to leave it at that, it’s not like they had to know what usually happened when they both got drunk, though some people glared at him suspiciously, they probably knew he was not mentioning everything, thankfully they chose to ignore it.
“What other information did you get?” Eraser Head continued to question him, and it seemed like his work in the League had been a complete waste of time since he had no idea what to answer to that. He knew about members of the League and some of their odd habits living together, but he didn’t know much about their future plans, they usually didn’t plan ahead or didn’t tell him about it.
“Um, complicated question. Dabi didn’t trust me unless he was drunk it seemed, he knew I was a spy all along so he usually chose carefully the information he traded”.
Aizawa noticeably frowned at the word “traded” which made Hawks regret his formulation. After stories about the Commission came to light, people knew how far they could ask of someone, and Hawks was definitely a valuable pawn they didn’t care to use however they wanted. “Eh, nothing bad happened,” Hawks felt like he had to clarify, “I can assure you, my meetings with Dabi were actually not that bad, he wasn’t aggressive at all. The only violent occurrence between me and him has been during the last battle, I don’t think I need to remind you of what happened then”.
It was true, he had never threatened him physically, even when Hawks did.
“I’m truly sorry about the harm my son caused you, Hawks.” Endeavor stated apologizingly. He seemed genuine, much like Rei Todoroki had been when she apologized on behalf of her son as well, but Hawks couldn’t care less about Endeavor’s apology because he knew what actually happened. The best thing to do in this kind of situation would probably be to “shut up and take the apology” to not add another layer of tension to the conversation but Hawks certainly didn’t know how to shut up.
“I killed his friend” Hawks stated, surprising everyone and earning a confused frown from Endeavor.
“What’s your point, Hawks?”
“Dabi had never been aggressive towards me, even when I threatened him with a feather,” in any other situation, Hawks might have laughed at how unthreatening that sounded, but he wasn’t in the mood for joking around and he figured others weren’t either, “he flinched and he was visibly concerned that I would attack him, yet he remained calm and composed. During the battle, I killed Twice, who despite his involvement with the League, was a good guy and-”
“A good guy?” someone tried to cut him off, he didn’t even know who it was, but he wasn’t willing to let that happen, now that it was out there, he needed to fully explain how it actually was meeting with those people, because no hero could understand better than him how it felt like to see those villains being mere humans, just like him. No other hero could get how wrong this black and white perfect picture of society was. Nothing was black or white, villains were not all bad, just like heroes were not all good, and the League had proven that to him multiple times. So, Hawks figured they needed to hear this.
“Don’t cut me off!” He exclaimed, the person stopping instantly, he was slowly losing his temper, “Despite whatever you guys might think, he was a good guy! He cared more about his friends than himself and was the first one willing to give me a chance at being a part of them, that’s good in my book. He didn’t plan on attacking me, he did because I betrayed their trust, and I would have done the same.”
He stopped for a second, realising his voice was getting shaky. He had never shown that much emotion to anyone before and he hated that it was this topic that made his voice waver, but it’s not like he could help it. He had been through a lot and he couldn’t pretend he hadn’t been affected anymore, but even knowing he was technically allowed to express his emotions, he still felt incredibly weak . Maybe that was a consequence of growing up at the Commission, he thought.
“Now, back to Dabi,” he took a deep breath before continuing, trying to remain impassive though it wasn’t working in the slightest, “when I killed Twice, he was upset, I had never seen him that upset before, he told me he would be crying if his tear ducts weren’t burnt, and I believe that. He said before that his quirk acted up based on emotions, which means he isn’t sociopathic or emotionless like you guys picture him, he has emotions and fairly strong ones. But unfortunately, they control him, which is why he does reckless stuff. In his place, I would have killed him on sight if he had killed one of my friends, but you know what he did instead?! He spared me!” His voice got significantly higher, beginning to sound a lot more emotional, but at this point, he couldn’t stop himself, “I was pinned down on the floor, Tokoyami’s weakness being light, he couldn’t do anything about the situation except get me out of there. Dabi could have killed me right there, he had the time and the strength to do so, yet he didn’t.”
Hawks tried taking another deep breath to stop his heavy breathing. He felt light-headed after revealing all of that to them. He didn’t care in the sightless if they thought he had lost his mind or if it was clear he knew more about Dabi than he should have. He knew the guilt of killing Twice, whoever he was, villain or not, will never go away. He knew he would remember the pain he saw in Dabi’s eyes.
He could count on one hand the number of times he had seen Dabi being vulnerable, so, to show it that strongly, he must have been genuinely hurt, and Hawks couldn’t quite comprehend how that made him feel, all he could tell was that it wasn’t a nice feeling.
It would be a lie to say he hadn’t grown somewhat fond of the villain. Dabi had something about him, he was always trying to act all tough and mad, but at times, when his facade faltered, his eyes reflected how sad and confused he was. Hawks took a long time to notice, but once he did, he couldn’t go back to seeing scary evil Dabi. He also had a strange sense of humour and a talent to make jokes at the wrong times which was both unsettling and hilarious.
This wasn’t what should have happened, he should not have felt for him.
When he joined the League, he was convinced they were horrible murderers and he wouldn’t feel any remorse stabbing them in the back after his mission was accomplished, it was easier that way. It was another story when his supposed enemies had feelings, friends and family that you had seen up close. Sometimes, he wished he had remained ignorant, things would be less painful and his feelings less conflicted.
Hawks hadn’t noticed he had been looking down for a moment, silence still clearly invading the room. When he decided to look up again, he expected people to be staring at him . Instead, they were staring at Endeavor in disbelief. He was crying . The sight also startled Hawks, even though he had seen him cry at the hospital when he had visited him. This was a completely different setting, and it also didn’t seem like the same guilty tears he had seen on the man’s face before. Endeavor seemed hopeful? Was that what it was? Did Hawks raise his hopes by acknowledging the fact his eldest son might not be complete evil after all, and that he had decided to spare a hero out of all people?
After all the Todoroki household went through, it wasn’t hard to lose hope but it was also easy to gain it back with the smallest hints. It was obvious they didn’t know who Touya had become, and what they pictured was nowhere near what had just been explained to them.
Shouto appeared stunned as well, he wasn’t looking at his father, but observing Hawks like he could give him all the answers about his family, about his long-lost brother. Even if he couldn’t, at that moment, Hawks hoped he could.
Hopefully, this brought to light something most heroes around this table hadn’t thought about or didn’t want to, society isn’t black or white, and they needed to be aware of that.
They shouldn’t be fighting for a society they didn’t understand.
Now, this brought yet another concern to Hawks’ mind. Even if they accepted his plan, he was the only one able to contact Dabi, and probably the only one that could convince him. And although he wasn’t completely evil, he still couldn’t stand the sight of his own family, he did try to kill his younger brother after all. Meaning Hawks would have to convince him to join them and not kill his family. Surprisingly – or not, the latter would be the hardest part.