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As both a survivor of the Archon War and the eldest of the Seven, Zhongli had experienced many things in his life. He had witnessed the birth of Liyue and the growth of its people. He frequently observed the art and theatre that his nation proudly produced. Change was not unusual to him, despite his unyielding nature as the God of Contracts.
Mortals, in particular, were full of surprises. He had observed a young lady trying to make a fortune for herself with items she found along the shore. He had seen a girl cast out and sacrificed to a demon by her own father. He even watched as his old friend chose to accompany a young chef on her journeys.
Needless to say, Zhongli had grown to expect the unexpected. Little could truly surprise the ancient god.
However, a furious Snezhnayan woman at his door was not something he ever anticipated.
The woman in question was short and plump, her ginger hair pulled into a messy bun. She wore a blouse and long skirt. She was out of breath and red in the face, as if she’d run all the way from Snezhnaya.
“Can I…help you?” Zhongli asked, unsure why such an angry stranger was pounding on his door at a time when most mortals should have been asleep.
The woman took advantage of his confusion, pushing past him and plopping herself down on his sofa. “Just some tea, if you don’t mind. I prefer it strong. I’ve been traveling and I’m rather weary.”
Confused, Zhongli shut the door and walked over to the kitchenette, not taking his eyes off the strange lady. He quickly heated a kettle, watching as the woman inspected his apartment.
“Quite the mess you have here,” she muttered, wiping a spot of dust off an antique sitting on an end table. “You’re a bit of a hoarder, aren’t you.”
Zhongli narrowed his eyes slightly. “Excuse me, ma’am, but you were the one who barged into my home at an archonforsaken hour and demanded tea. I would prefer if you refrained from insulting my belongings.”
The woman scoffed at him, picking up yet another antique. “Perhaps you’re right. I’m not here for idle chatter anyway.”
She settled back down on the couch, motioning for him to sit in a chair across from her. “The tea isn’t finished ye-“
“The tea can wait. We have more important matters to discuss.”
Zhongli glanced between the woman and the tea kettle. Eventually, he turned down the heat and brought over two cups of lukewarm tea. The lady sipped her beverage before turning to stare him dead in the eye. Zhongli took a sip of tea himself, wincing slightly at the bitter mixture.
“What are your intentions with my son?”
Zhongli nearly choked. The woman crossed her arms, pulling a letter out of her skirt pocket. “My son, Ajax. He’s my precious baby, and I swear to the Tsaritsa that if you hurt him, I will separate your spine from your body and fillet your face.”
“Ma’am, I think you may be mis-“
The lady stood up abruptly. “Don’t you sass me, young man. I’m not done. You see, I received a letter recently from my little Ajax that the man he liked used and lied to him. Now, my son tends to play things down as to not upset me or the kids, so seeing this letter was a red flag. And so I just knew that I had to take the next ship down to Liyue to meet this ‘Mr. Zhongli’ fellow who broke his heart.”
For one of the few times in his six thousand years of life, Zhongli was at a loss for words. Used and lied to? He was hiding his identity as an archon from most Liyuens, but he hadn’t actively lied to anyone except maybe…
“Pardon me, but are you…Tartaglia’s mother?”
The lady huffed, gripping the crinkled letter tightly in her hand. “So you do know what you did. You should be ashamed of yourself. Ajax used to be very shy and he never had many friends. In fact, the only people he’s ever written about were you and that traveler fellow. He’s never been very good with emotions, and you have the audacity to lead him on and then abandon him? I don’t know who you think you are, or what gives you the right to treat my son the way you did but-“
“I never meant to hurt him,” Zhongli interrupted, surprising even himself. He took a deep breath. “The contract was set in stone before I even met him. I took no pleasure in hiding my true identity from him. But know that I genuinely do enjoy his company. As for leading him on…I do not believe that he harbors any romantic feelings towards me.”
There was a brief pause.
The lady burst out laughing, tears beginning to form at the corners of her deep blue eyes. “Y-you think he doesn’t…ha! Oh, this is too good. Honestly, Mr. Zhongli, I’ve seen pictures of you two dining together or watching a show. And in every picture, he was staring longingly at you.”
“I’m sure he was just interested in Liyuen history. He’s never been quite the romantic type.”
The woman doubled over laughing again. “The stack of cheesy romance books in his room say otherwise. Even the Tsaritsa has mentioned it to me during one of our lunches.”
“You eat lunch with the Tsaritsa on a regular basis?”
“Of course! How else would she know that Ajax can’t sleep without a nightlight? Or that he gets nightmares and needs to cuddle with his Whaley. That’s his stuffed whale by the way, it’s one of his most prized possessions…”
Zhongli blinked rapidly, trying to clear his mind of the image of the Tsaritsa’s fearsome Weapon of War snuggling with a stuffed toy. Despite his reputation, Zhongli had also gotten to know a softer, more genuine side of the young harbinger.
“…in fact, Her Royal Highness is the one who told me where to find you.”
That caught Zhongli’s attention. “She did?”
“Mhm. I showed her the letter my son sent me, and she agreed that someone needed to talk to the rocks-for-brains geo archon.”
It took all of Zhongli’s willpower not to drop his teacup. “What?”
“Did I stutter? We decided that I needed to lecture you about how you treated our son.”
Zhongli shook his head, slowly rising from his seat.
“You knew I was the geo archon? And you broke into my home and started insulting me? Did you not think that might be dangerous?”
Childe’s mom whacked him on the head with the letter. “I simply didn’t care. My son’s happiness is more important than some washed up old dragon. Frankly, you could do what ever you wanted to me, and it wouldn’t matter in the slightest. The important thing is that you understand that you hurt my baby and you go make it up to him.”
Mortals never ceased to amaze Zhongli. A mother journeyed across the sea to threaten a foreign archon because he upset her child. He watched the woman with a newfound respect. Truly, she was from the Nation of Love and Family, even if that title was one their archon wished to forget.
More overwhelming than that, however, was how betrayed Childe must have felt for both his archon and birth mother to agree that Zhongli must apologize. The god knew that Tartaglia was frustrated with him, but he thought that the warrior needed space to cool off. He never meant to make Childe feel like he didn’t value or care about him. He couldn’t describe what exactly he felt for the harbinger, for it was an emotion he’d never experienced before. But looking back on the fond memories he had by the warrior’s side, he knew that he didn’t want to lose him.
“I…see that I have made a grave error in my calculations. I will write him-“
“You will do no such thing,” the woman said, smacking his head again. “He thinks that you don’t care about him, and if you want to fix that, you have to prove that you do. So, you are going to march your lizard bum all the way to the port, and then you’ll take the first ship to Inazuma and apologize to my son in person. Is that clear?”
Zhongli nodded, oddly seeking the approval of his dear friend’s mother.
She whacked him again. “I asked if that was clear.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Zhongli responded instantly. The Snezhnayan nodded her head in approval. “Good. Now go.”
Without thinking, his feet began moving him towards the door.
“Oh, and Mr. Zhongli?”
He paused, turning back to look at her.
“You may be an archon, but you have a lot of work to make me think you’re worthy for my son.”
“I won’t let you down,” he swore solemnly. He quickly left the building, making his way to the docks.
He looked around briefly.
“Did…did I just get kicked out of my own home?”
—-
Bonus:
Worn out from his talk with Childe’s mother, Zhongli decided to close his eyes briefly as the ship made its way to Inazuma.
He dreamed of silver trees surrounding a clearing of darkened grass. The sky appeared devoid of stars. The entire place reeked of abyssal taint.
In the middle of a clearing stood an armor-clad woman. She grinned when she saw him.
“Greetings, Morax. We need to have a talk about how you treated my apprentice.”