Chapter Text
"Cooollllliiiiinnnn!"
Bradley came barreling out of the pub shouting and then singing Colin's name over and over until Colin looked up from his phone.
"You're pissed," Colin noticed, with a friendly sigh.
"Uh, yeah. Why aren't you?"
The dark-haired man leaned into his best friend of the last five years suddenly not interested at all in the texts coming over. "Not sure. I guess I'm just...waiting."
"For what?"
For someone to tell me that Merlin isn't actually over and that you and I will still be running lines when September comes back around, Colin thought.
Instead he said, "Bloody hell if I know. Let's get another pint."
If Bradley had any idea what Colin really wanted to say, there was no indication. Granted, the blonde was already wasted, so he probably wouldn't notice if Colin started juggling on a unicycle that he pulled from thin air. Still, Colin was glad his true feelings about the show ending weren't known. That would just make everything harder.
Bradley pushed Colin through the pub door escorting him to the bar in the back where Eoin and Tom were discussing their last scene together. They both talked loudly, taking turns second-guessing their own acting while the other comforted him with a simple "Nah mate, it was good."
It was a good thing that they had rented out the bar for the night, because the way Eoin and Tom were spoiling the finale left and right, they would have been in a lot of trouble legally about giving away the ending had a civilian overheard. Still, Colin knew that those legal threats were bogus, especially now that the series was over and done with. Fortunately the cast still knew how important it was for the fans to be surprised by the ending, so interviews and such would be smooth sailing as long as they didn't show up plonkered.
"Cheers mate." Eoin clinked his practically empty beer mug to Colin's new one and downed the remainder in one go.
"Cheers." Colin knew he sounded a little down and didn't even bother to grin when he sipped at his ale.
"Oh god, he's sad." Eoin sent a knowing look to Bradley and pointed at Colin's face. "Fix this, princess."
Bradley gaze seemed a bit glazed over from the alcohol, when he stared at Colin's small frown. Slowly, Bradley's gaze cleared to travel the length of Colin's arm to find his fist clutching his mug of ale in a harsh way. His bright blue eyes darted back to rest on Colin's mouth again where a grimace had replaced the frown, and then up to his eyes. Colin knew the sadness he was feeling was evident in his eyes.
"Jesus, Colin," Bradley said. "It's not like we are gonna lose track of each other after this. Don't worry. You're my best mate, alright? So stop being such a bloody girl about this."
Colin had to chuckle at the very Arthur thing he just heard and both boys seemed to loosen up a little after that.
The rest of the night went off without a hitch. Practically every cast member that graced the Merlin screen was present and accounted for. Angel and Katie, obviously. Rupert was talking with Alexander in the corner about something or other. Unfortunately Santiago was in the states doing a small spot on Showtime's Dexter, but the rumor going around the bar like a game of telephone was that he was being seriously considered for another BBC show that was in the works.
A few other cast members from way back showed up to the celebration though. Michelle and Emilia entered the pub at the same time both with baked goods in tow. Colin had no idea either one of them was a baker, and later found out that neither was a good baker, to say the least. Ade was the only one who humored them, by scarfing down as much as he could.
About half to midnight, Anthony walked through the door, surprising everyone into a unanimous bellow. "Tony!"
Bradley was the first to walk over and wrap his on-screen father into a bear hug (or as much of a bear hug one could give the 6'1" man) before the rest took their cues and lined up for an embrace of their own. When it got time for Colin to do so, Tony leant toward his ear and whispered, "I know what you are probably going through right now, but you aren't alone. Bradley won't show it, but he's really going to miss doing the show too."
Colin drew back and gave Anthony a shrug that grew sheepish form the knowing look the man gave him, so he quickly put on a thankful smile before retreating back to the bar.
Quit sulking, he told himself sternly. He picked up his glass and started downing the beer in one go. Angel noticed and starts a chant of "Go! Go! Go!" like they were in some sort of American frat film.
Soon the whole pub was cheering him on. All his friends and colleagues, every cast and crew member there, was watching Colin as he consumed the contents of his glass. He gulped down the last bits, slammed the mug on the wooden bar with a triumph, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and smiled proudly at the gathered people who had been his family for the past five years.
There were whoops and cheers, which was just embarrassing because, really, chugging a beer wasn't a terrifically hard thing to accomplish, but Colin guessed they were all just happy he was finally getting into the party mood.
So he raised his arms in the air like Rocky Balboa and let the festivities wash over him like some sort of magic.
***
What if?
It was the question that had been plaguing Bradley's mind all night.
Looking at Colin, Bradley knew the doubts about their friendship were ludicrous. Just like King Arthur couldn’t live without his sorcerer, Bradley couldn't live without Colin. Not anymore.
And yet, the blonde couldn't help thinking, What if? What if they got jobs on opposite sides of the world and their friendship couldn't handle the long distance? What if Colin met someone else -- Fuck, he was being such a girl about this-- and they became closer than Colin and him?
But mostly Bradley's mind drifted to the ultimate "What if?" What if our friendship isn't even real to begin with?
It made some kind of twisted sense to Bradley that Colin might never have liked him and was only his friend because they had to deal with each other every day. Now that things were over, everything was just up in the air, threatening to accept the basic laws of gravity and come crashing down on Bradley's head.
He played it off pretty well though. It seemed no one in the room had any idea how badly he was hurting. He didn't wear his sadness on his sleeve like Colin did. Bradley was his smiley, sarcastic self the entire night and after Colin downed that glass like he was in uni, Bradley didn't even have to fake his enjoyment.
Rupert joined Bradley at the bar around 2:00.
"I'm heading out."
"Swanning off already?"
Bradley knew he looked disappointed, so he switched his face up quickly going for a more joking manner.
The curly-haired man sighed. "Yup. Looks like the parties breaking up, so I thought I'd get my goodbyes in before everyone else swarms you with unbelievably sad farewells." The sarcasm was there, like always with Rupert, but Bradley also heard sincerity in his words.
There was a brief pause, an intensity sinking in as both men realized this would be the last time they saw each other for a while. Bradley snapped out of it as soon as he could, pushed back his barstool, and stood awkwardly while Rupert did the same.
They stared for a few uncomfortable seconds until Rupert surprised them both by clasping Bradley's arm in a knight's handshake. Bradley chuckled at the familiarity and gripped his friend's arm in return. They had hugged before, but neither went for one this time. Both men understood that this form of physical contact meant more somehow.
"Goodbye for now, mate," Rupert said.
"See you around, yeah?"
The boys release their grips and stood back again. Rupert cleared his throat.
"Yeah."
And with that, Rupert was gone. Bradley watched him push through the pub doors and head out onto the Cardiff streets outside, most likely hailing a cabbie to take him back to the hotel. It looked like Rupert had saved Bradley's farewell for last.
He didn't have long to ponder how touching that was, when he heard Katie call him over in her amazing Irish accent. She was standing in front of a photo booth looking pleased with herself, clutching a picture set in her perfectly manicured hands. As Bradley staggered over, still a little drunk from both the beers and the goodbye from Rupert, he made out who was in the photos.
Colin and Katie honestly looked way too amazing together. It seemed to Bradley that this sort of perfection should be illegal and if he hadn’t already known that the two had been dating for the past four years, he would have forced them together like the world depended on it.
Granted, Bradley didn't find out about them until last year when he and Angel divulged to everyone that they had started dating.
***
Bradley, Colin, Katie, and Santiago were in San Diego doing a panel at ComicCon for their fourth series. While on a break backstage, with the audience getting their first glimpse at the series premier, Angel had called Arthur from her place in Cardiff, telling him about her day. She asked him how the panel was. He told her it was going well, smiling as he remembered the questions and the brilliant way he answered them, proudly knowing that the fans were being satisfied.
That's when Katie sidled up and asked sweetly, probably jokingly, "Is that your girlfriend, Bradley?"
Without thinking really, Bradley automatically replied, "Yeah."
He heard two gasps, one on the phone and the other from the woman next to him. He immediately stiffened.
"Umm... well I mean..." Choking on his words, Bradley gave a nervous cough. Angel and him had both agreed to wait a little longer to tell anyone about their relationship to make sure that they both knew it would last. Bradley had known it would work out for a long time and, honestly, the blonde was just itching to out their relationship to everyone. But he always grew shy when bringing it up to Angel.
But now that the cat was halfway out the bag, Bradley thought, Fuck it, and stood a little more confidently, back straight.
"Yes," he proclaimed. "I am talking to my girlfriend."
He thought he was exuding confidence, but he was sure Katie saw him brace himself for Angel's reaction.
"The world hates me."
"What," Bradley gasped into the phone. That wasn't what he had expected her to say. He wasn't sure what exactly he was expecting, but this, this definitely was not the reaction he anticipated.
"I'm just being overdramatic, I know," Angel continued, "but come on! I'm not going to be able to gloat to my friends about my awesome relationship, because I'm in bloody Whales! Whales, Bradley. Everyone is going to find out about us, you will get all the congratulations and I-knew-it’s and nice-one’s. And then you will have a good laugh while I'm on the other side of the world staring up at a cloudy sky being all woe-is-me. I want the sunshine. I want the annoying questions about the when and where and why and how of our relationship. I'm so irrationally mad right now, I know, but just let me keep rambling a little bit longer, maybe even until you all get back to Cardiff, and then... I don't know. God, this is just horrible!"
During her tirade, Bradley pulled his phone further and further from his ear. Despite everything, he was grinning from ear to ear and Katie was staring wide-eyed as she strained to hear who was on the other side of his mobile.
"Do you want to talk to Katie?"
Katie narrowed her eyes, a brow quirked in a question mark, realizing she must know who Bradley just referred to as his girlfriend.
A small chuckle escaped from Bradley. In triumph? In anxiety? In glee that everything seemed to be working out?
All three, he decided, as he handed his mobile to Katie after Angel's positive answer.
"Bloody hell," Katie shouted when she recognized the voice, but it wasn't exactly in mere surprise. Now it was Bradley's turn to narrow his eyes in confusion.
Across the room Colin and Santiago stopped their conversation at Katie's exclamation. Bradley walked the couple meters over to them, because he figured that while Angel got to tell Katie, he should get to explain it to his best mate.
"What's going on?" Colin asked in his Irish lilt, head tipped accusingly.
"Katie found out Angel and I are dating," Bradley answered getting it over with, not wanting the secret to last any longer.
"Oh," Colin said shortly, darting a glance at Katie who still had the speaker pressed to her ear, back turned toward the white walls of the hallway, looking anxious as Bradley assumed Angel was prattling on about the various steps she and Bradley have already taken during there relationship.
Colin’s reactions was once again not what Bradley had been expecting.
"Oh? OH?!" Bradley was not getting this at all. "Ok, what is up with you and Katie?"
Bradley looked over at Santiago for confirmation that Colin's reaction was weird. One look, said that his first knight agreed with him.
"How long have you guys been together?" Colin asked, ignoring Bradley's question.
"Um... like 7 months." Could he be hurt that we didn't tell him sooner? Is he upset that he hadn't figured it out? Bradley was not understanding.
"Mmm..." Colin nodded acceptance, but he was still distracted, darting glances every two seconds at Katie.
"Colin," Bradley snapped. Then he literally snapped his fingers right in front of Colin's face, bringing his attention back to Bradley. "Seriously, are you ok? This was not what I expected your reaction to be. At all."
Colin sighed in defeat.
Now Bradley was starting to get a little worried. Obviously Colin (and Katie too) knew something that Bradley didn't.
Colin cleared his throat and stared down at his hands. Katie turned around at the noise, still clutching the mobile, and Bradley saw her try to catch Colin's eyes with her own. When they were finally looking at each other, dark blue to emerald green, Bradley saw the two have a silent conversation. More like an argument, really, one pair of eyes turning to slits while the other's pleaded openly, and vice versa.
It looked like they were still in the middle of the argument when Colin tore his gaze from hers and uttered, "Katie and I have been dating for three years."
Everyone in the room went silent, the only noise a subdued dialogue from the episode playing in the panel room and a small squeak from Bradley's mobile where Angel was shouting, "Katie? Katie are you there?"
Katie strode up to Colin looking more like the menacing character she played on tv than the very lovely person she was in real life. When she reached him, her face was so close to his you couldn't put a hand between them. Colin didn't seem affected by her attitude and actually broke out into a large smile. It didn't take long for her to return his smile, and she tilted her head up to give him a fleeting kiss, because everyone knew you couldn't stay mad at Colin. His grin was just too infectious.
The atmosphere in the room relaxed at once. Bradley knew that he would be a little upset later that these two had kept this secret for so long and didn't tell anyone, but at that moment he was actually kind of happy. Bradley, Angel, Colin, and Katie had always been inseparable, and now they probably would be even more annoyingly close. God, the knights were going to hate them.
The first person to break the silence was actually Santiago.
"Well dammit." Everyone turned to him in confusion. Santiago glanced at Bradley, Colin, and Katie in turn and said, "I owe Eoin 500 pounds."
"""
Angel came out of nowhere, drawing Bradley from the memory that was just about to destroy him.
I'm usually not this emotional, he considered. What is wrong with me?
His girl pulled a plastic combat helmet from behind her back and gently placed it on his head, arms outstretched as high as they could go in order to reach.
"So short," Bradley whispered, leaning down a little to give her a swift kiss on the lips. He wrapped his arms around her waist and his eyes roamed over Angel's body, noticing the sea captain's cap in her other hand. "Where did you get these?"
Angel giggled and put a finger to her lips in a shushing gesture. “I'th a secret," she confided. "Colin and Katie don't ge' hats."
Bradley's eyes widened at her slurred words. Obviously she had been drinking all night, because usually Angel could hold her liquor a little better than this. "Why would they need hats? Why do we need hats?"
"Pictures," she exclaimed, like it all suddenly made sense now.
"Ah I see." He didn't see at all.
Angel took his arm and dragged him closer to the photo booth, pointing in exasperation. "Pictures," she repeated.
Bradley climbed inside the booth, finding Katie and Colin already inside. It was surprisingly roomier than most other booths, but still they were squished.
Colin squinted at the helmet perched atop his head. "What's with the-"
"I have no idea. Angel's a little... plastered." Bradley motioned for Katie to move over and sit on Colin, but she just stoop up a little letting Bradley settle in beneath her. Angel climbed over the top of them, wearing the cap that crushed down her curls, and had a seat on Colin.
Colin's eyes found Bradley's and he grinned. "I guess we are switching it up."
The group chuckled like they have done a thousand times before and Katie paid for a couple sessions in the booth.
They struck poses and laughed, goofing around, smiling and making faces. At one point Colin pulled out a pair of those ridiculous glasses with shutters that made absolutely no sense, but were still obnoxiously popular.
A few snapshots later, the girls pushed Bradley and Colin out to take a couple pictures just the two of them. Bradley couldn’t help but notice how fit their girlfriends looked as they modeled for the camera. Angel pushed out her breasts around the third picture, and that did Katie in. She curled up into herself as she laughed breathlessly. However that picture turned out, it would probably end up being one of Bradley's favorites.
Soon the girls got out and pushed the boys in to take a couple snapshots together. Bradley motioned for Colin to get in first and once they were settled next to each other, the count winding down as the next picture was about to be taken, Colin flicked the combat helmet off his friend's head and put a hand through Bradley's hair, mussing it up. They draped their arms around each other and smiled at the camera as the timer hit 0:00. At first nothing happened, no flash. Bradley motioned at the camera about to say that it's broken when it finally went off.
The two cackled at what would probably be a horrible photo. It didn’t last long, because the clock started winding down again and they were being pelted in the face by very large sunglasses.
Colin immediately picked up the pair that landed in his lap, glanced at his girlfriend through the curtain in fake seriousness, and slowly put them on, all false bravado. He lifted up his chin, and stared smugly at the camera. Bradley was laughing too hard to do much of anything when the flash went off.
"Hurry," Colin said, opening the other pair of sunglasses for Bradley. As the blonde placed the pair on his face, the brunette helped to flatten his hair in a manageable smoothness. Both men nodded in content and wrap their arms around each other's shoulders again. They stared at the camera with a blue steel glare and the camera flashed for the last time.
***
It was 4:00 in the morning when all the goodbyes were said and the bar cleared out. The four main characters of Merlin were all that remained.
Colin knew that to any passing fan, the current situation would look a little strange, his arms wrapped around "Morgana" while they chatted amicably with "Arthur" and "Guinevere". But all he could think about was how normal and right it felt. He wished it would never end.
However, the universe didn’t seem to care what Colin wanted, and before he knew it was even happening, the foursome were outside walking the streets of Cardiff, headed toward their respective housing.
Colin and Katie noticed after a while that Bradley was practically carrying Angel, who by all accounts was completely and utterly smashed. They had only seen her like this once before, after she and Bradley filmed their breakup scene at the end of last season. At the time, no one knew the four actors had paired off in real life yet, so Angel's reaction after seeing Bradley's broken heart during that scene didn't really make sense until months later after they spilled the beans at ComicCon.
Colin understood Angel’s reaction during that scene completely. Just a few weeks ago he was shooting that scene with Katie where he punctures her clean through with a sword and kills her. It was a little surreal "murdering" his girlfriend even if it was acting.
Katie suddenly leant in and gave a quick peck to Colin's cheek. She smirked and looked across him at Bradley and Angel. "I'll take her home," she said.
Between Angel's protests of, "'m fine, 'm fine," and Bradley's reluctance to let her go, it was a miracle that a few minutes later Katie and Angel were walking arm and arm down the street casting shadows on the sidewalk every time they passed a street lamp, leaving the boys behind, confused.
"We must be drunker than we thought," Colin remarked, just making out the girls in the distance before they turned a corner in the direction of the flat Angel and Bradley stayed at while in Cardiff.
Bradley nodded in agreement. "I can't believe we just let our girlfriends walk off together alone at--" He glanced blearily at his wristwatch for a second trying to focus on the numbers. "5:00 in the morning."
Colin shrugged. "I'm not too worried. Their destination is just a couple blocks. Besides, Katie was being stubborn. Once she gets an idea in that gorgeous head of hers, there's no stopping that girl from getting her way."
Bradley chuckled, clearly not too worried either. "Sometimes it scares me how similar she is to Morgana."
"You're scared? Try being her boyfriend when her alter-ego comes out."
"Yeah, I don't envy you sometimes, mate. Angel's alter-ego is an awkward servant girl turned wise queen," Bradley said.
Colin smiled.
They stood quietly for a moment, before Bradley turned on his heel and strode across the street in the opposite direction of the girls. Colin stepped alongside him, keeping up with his friend's determined gait. The raven-haired man already knew where they were going so it wasn't too difficult, even in his inebriated state.
The park was quiet, not even an early morning runner in sight. Colin watched as Bradley sat down in one of the swings on the East side of the park before joining him. Suddenly the silence was unnerving.
Bradley cleared his throat audibly, which somehow brought a small grin to Colin's face as he gently rocked back and fourth, toes of his trainers never leaving the gravel below. They turned their gazes toward each other, azure to topaz, both silently afraid that looking away would cause the other to disappear from their lives forever.
"I--" Bradley started, but choked a little on the words. He tried again. "Colin, I--"
"Don't," Colin interrupted, finally snapping his eyes away from Bradley and looked up into the sky, the darkness showing a hint of light on the horizon. "Just, don't," he said again.
No matter what Bradley was just about to say, Colin didn't want to hear it. It would just sound like a goodbye.
"Yeah... yeah."
From the corner of his eye, Colin saw Bradley turn his head to the brightening sky as well. The moon and stars were about to fade into a cloudless blue sky. Neither spoke for some time. Neither dared speak for fear the break in silence would be overwhelming.
Suddenly, a spark of light flashed across the dawn, a shooting star. Colin wasn’t sure if the man next to him had seen it, but since Bradley hadn’t said anything, he assumed he hadn't.
I'm not even sure if I saw it, Colin thought wryly. It could have just been a figment of my imagination.
Colin sighed.
His thoughts didn’t stop him from making a wish though. He closed his eyes tightly and wished, knowing he looked silly, but couldn't care less, if he was being honest.
I wish... I wish the sun wouldn't rise.
***
I wish the sun wouldn't rise, Bradley pleaded silently. He never wanted this day to end.