Chapter Text
A lot of things happened before and after he came back. The pit was kinda tired of the endless family issues and Jason, so it started to wear off.
Luckily it didn’t take back the white hair, Lian was very fond of it. Jason may have to dye his hair in a timely basis if the pit changed the hair together with his eyes.
Though He’s totally fine without the green eyes, he’s having blue eyes again. He could barely remember how he looked in those eyes. It’s been a long time.
Anyway, the worn off of the pit madness didn’t miraculously bring everything back to “normal”. And if Jason said that the only thing that drove him against the Bat’s rules was the pit, he’s lying.
It was understandable, wasn’t it? Death was too powerful and irreversible not to change anything.
Jason thought maybe he’ll need a therapist, Roy once suggested that to him.
“She offers us buy one get one free!!! I see no point why you shouldn’t come with me when you only have to pay half of it!” End quote.
And now Jason wondered if that offer was still effective.
But he dropped it the next day. He’s living a dangerous life, getting an innocent therapist involved and having him/her killed could be the last thing Jason did to fix his mind. He was attacked by black mask and his man, of course Jason nailed it and made it to his safe house. He had too many plans for this kind of accident. Foreseeable event.
Well, he didn’t foresee there’s someone in his safe house.
“You know I gave you my number for a reason right?” Jason forced his back to the wall. He’s tired.
“Did you answer that? Little one. “Artemis was sitting on the couch.
Jason ran his face with his hand, “I was in a fight! How the hell am I supposed to pick up the call?!”
“So here we are. Don’t complain. You failed to keep your promise first, little one.” Artemis showed no mercy and didn’t give an inch.
Jason knew that she’s showing her worries. In the past, Jason might be sorta angry because he’s not a kid that couldn’t take care of himself. Well, the pit was wearing off.
“Thanks, Arty.” Jason lowered his guard and walked towards the couch.
Artemis looked more concerned than before. But before she could say anything, someone broke in.
Jason took his guns out immediately and turned towards the sound.
Only to discover that it was his adorable technically baby teammate.
“Red him! Me bring hot dog!” Bizarro was carrying a bag, the paper bag that Jason’s favourite food cart used.
“Thanks, Biz. That’s exactly what I need now.” Jason grabbed the bag, revealing the things inside and found his favourite favourite food cart food.
“You remember!!! Arty never buys the right one no matter how many times I tell her!” Jason was not pouting at all.
“And I’m not buying anything for you from now on.” Artemis didn’t mean it. Buying the wrong thing was one of her ways to punish the little one for being too careless about his well-being. She would definitely order a vegetarian non-spicy hamburger for Jason if he asked for a spicy hot dog.
Jason was not a big fan of hamburgers compared to how much he loves to have hot dogs. Artemis couldn’t understand the tendency, they weren’t that different for her.
And she had to stop Bizarro from spoiling the little one. Bizarro could never say no to Jason.
While Artemis was deep in thought, Jason and Bizarro finished all the hot dogs and were currently playing Paper Scissors Stone. Jason won all of them.
Artemis suspected that Bizarro cheated, cheated to lose all the time with his superspeed.
It was a peaceful night after all.
And Jason found himself in an unfamiliar room the next morning.
“Biz?”
“Red him’s up!”
Undoubtedly his teammates moved him here while he’s sleeping. Jason wasn’t that surprised about how they managed not to wake him up. He trusted them. And maybe his brain finally got to recognise that.
“Morning, Little one. We are in Paris now. Get up and let’s have breakfast.”
And she added, “Bizarro insisted that we should wait for you.”
Jason knew how to deal with this level of lies. “Thanks, Artemis. So what are we up to? Clearly not an urgent mission if you can wait this long.” He asked as he gathered himself and was ready to go.
“A team mission. I shall fill you up during breakfast. Bizarro, drop the cushion, we are not bringing that down stairs.” Artemis cold heartedly ordered.
“No Biz. Take it hide it I’ll pay for it.” Jason loved to spoil the baby.
And Artemis spoiled both of them. She didn’t say a word or raise her eyebrows for that. Bizarro took that cushion in his hand happily.
“That’s not how I taught you, Biz. You are much better than this!”
With the pit or not, Jason loved to trigger mama Arty.
“You taught him how to hide what he stole?? Did you forget that he stole, kidnapped, you when you first met?”
Jason remembered that too well, but that was the most harmless kidnapping he had ever experienced. So he didn’t care that much.
“Me am sorry. Red her.”
Bizarro looked miserable. And both Red reached out to pat his head. That could cheer the baby up.
“Biz we talked about it do we? I’m totally fine with that, just remember not to steal any living creatures anymore.” Jason couldn’t pay for living things, but other than that, he thought he should be able to pay for whatever things that his teammates wanted.
And Bizarro did well with asking for approval before acting. Jason saw no problem.
So did Artemis.
They went to a coffee shop and before they could get a seat. Someone they knew was there.
Jason looked at Artemis dead in the eyes and asked with his eyes. What the hell?
I did not know! Artemis stared back.
Jason rolled his eyes. You bring us to Paris without checking if she’s here?!?
And They totally missed the moment Bizarro walked towards Diana.
Shit . They thought.
Bizarro sat quietly and Artemis never looked at Diana once. Jason knew it’s time to act like a leader.
“Morning, Diana. “What should he say?
Diana took a slip of her coffee, “it’s good to see you here. Looking for something?” She assumed they came to this city for a reason.
Jason didn’t want to lie, “I don’t know.” Wonder Woman would always be his favourite hero.
“Vacation.” Artemis spoke up but still, not looking at Diana.
Diana smiled, “Then you are asking the right person. I opened the shop here for a reason. The ice cream shop next door is the best. You have to try the Neapolitan ice-cream, Jason. “
Oh… she still remembered. Jason didn’t dare to ask, but he nodded.
And Diana left for work.
“She owns this coffee shop.”
Artemis was finally enough with the cars and people outside, turning back to the people sitting next to her, “Yes she does.”
“That’s very convincing. You should at least tell me that we are meeting her.”
“Don’t know what you are talking about.” Artemis sipped the coffee to hide her smile.
She didn’t like to meet the princess, but then she could endure that for Jason.
Jason signed as he knew she did, “We will go buy the ice cream and we are going to find Roy.” He’s going to share the ice cream with Lian. He hadn’t seen her for a while, the best ice cream in the world could serve as a reason. Though he never needed a reason to check up on his goddaughter.
No one was opposed to that. They brought five different favours and tada, they forgot that it’s a Tuesday morning and Lian’s at school.
Because Jason promised to Lian that every time he came around, he would cook her dinner, Roy and Jason were going to the grocery store for food, leaving Bizarro and Artemis at home to rearrange the refrigerator for more space.
“You sure they won’t break anything?” On their way down the street, Roy asked as he knew how strong the teammates were.
“Hopefully they won’t. We could buy one more refrigerator. Yours is too small.”
“So is my house. I’m not living in a manor.” Roy punched Jason’s shoulder and ran away.
Playing stupid in public was not Jason’s thing, but that’s Roy. Jason couldn’t let him go away that easily or he’ll keep bothering him. So he just ran after Roy like two teenagers who just ended school.
“You know I can handle buying all the ingredients by myself, and you should be at home rearranging everything.” They were done with the game soon and started chitchatting.
Roy usually would have gone there by bus if he’s shopping alone, but now they had plenty of time and he missed hanging out with his friend.
“Well I have to buy Lian a new glass. She dropped hers and decided to drink with mine. Which I’m totally fine with, but she could have just told me, didn't she?”
Roy was still trying to be a better parent, and sometimes he wished he could learn everything before that, so he wouldn’t fail his girl.
“It is hard to understand what they think, I don’t think we know what we are thinking back then.”
“I hope I am doing right with Lian. And maybe you should visit us more, she loves to see you.”
That’s true, Lian never said goodbye to Jason when he had to leave, he guessed it was a way to say “I don’t wanna say goodbye to you.”. And more often than not, Jason wished he could stay, too.
“I will. And what exactly did you say after knowing that?”
“A lot. I told her right away that it’s not a big deal. The glass was a cheap one and even though it wasn’t, it was an accident and everyone is allowed to make mistakes. I repeated those three times till she understood that’s totally fine.”
Jason patted the man’s shoulder, he knew he must’ve worried a lot during that conversation.
“And after that, she told me that she really likes her glass. She just didn’t know what she should do. She tried to put the pieces back and glued them. It didn’t work. She’s really sad.”
“She’s really sad, Jason.” Roy repeated, not sure if he wanted to emphasise on something or just couldn’t get rid of the line.
“She’s going to have an unbreakable glass from her godfather.”
Jason had a few ideas and couldn’t pick one so maybe he’ll go for all of them. Godfather’s here to solve problems, no worries princess Lian.
“No Jason, how come I didn’t notice that?” Roy looked away. Jason could only hope that he’s not crying.
But maybe he would have cried too, if it’s him who had to listen to that and realised what he failed to do.
“She asked if I could fix her glass. She brought the pieces to me. I said we could melt it and reshape it. She didn’t want to melt the pieces. She said it’s broken already, melting the remains is technically not fixing but tearing into smaller pieces.”
“Clever.” Jason couldn’t process anything other than to picture the scene in his mind.
“In the end, she agreed that I could make her a new cup with the pieces. But she wanted me to use a different colour so that she knew which part was newly added. It was beautiful, she’s afraid to break it again.”
Jason could relate to that, he used to keep the small bat toy his mum brought him. Alfred helped to restore it and it looked great. But he never dared to take it out of the closet once he decided to stay in the manor.
Maybe he should take it back some day.
“Sometimes I feel like she is giving me a lecture. The glass was broken, but it could still be beautiful without further breakdown. She says. And it meant something to me. You know how broken I was, she’s the newly added element that brought me back. Though I’m not encouraging you to have a child. Maybe you should at least stop breaking yourself to fit in the old shape.”
Roy worried about Jason’s mental issues constantly, and he knew how many things they had gone through. Everyone’s hurt. But there's a priority in his mind, that he would care more about his friend. So he wondered if it’s worthwhile to suffer so much just to catch up with the family that’s moving on. Jason needed to move on in his own way and pace.
“I was thinking about therapy yesterday, but black mask attacked me then. So maybe it’s too dangerous to find a therapist now.” Not now, maybe later. That’s what Jason thought.
“Anyway, you are staying with us for a month. What kind of godfather are you if you can’t keep your goddaughter entertained.” Roy suggested half heartedly. He didn’t want to push too hard.
“Stop giving me lectures, you are not my dad.” Jason couldn’t say yes, he had nightmares, terrible nightmares that he would scream and cry. He didn’t care if Lian knew that, but he didn’t want to freak her out.
He looked horrible when he’s going through those nights. That’s why even though he would love to stop being red hood for a month and stay with them, he couldn’t.
“Fuck you did you just say no? Lian is going to be sad, sooooo sad. You will deal with it alone, I’m not helping this time.”
Jason grinned, “stop using Lian to manipulate me. I will stay tonight, if they don’t have any other plans.” His friend was a jerk and he knew that all the time.
“It works every time, ‘s hard not to.”
The lunch and dinner were nice, they spent time playing video games and Artemis accidentally broke hers. Bizarro bought three more using Jason’s credit card just in case anyone was too carried away and lost control of their power.
Lian laughed all the time since her godfather and aunt and uncle came to see her. And Jason was staying. She could finally ask him to read her bedtime story.
Artemis and Bizarro weren’t staying, they would pick Jason up the next day, they said.
Jason was sleeping on the couch. The couch was large enough to be a bed so he’s okay with it. He had it worse. And when no one’s around, he started to daydream in the darkness.
He’s almost sure that Artemis came here with a mission, but then decided to drop it when she saw his eyes. And Roy never brought that topic up. All the evidence was shouting out loud, they’re worried.
He didn’t know that he meant so much to Artemis, that she would go to Diana if needed.
Maybe they were right, he needed a holiday. He needed to be away from the triggers and Gotham.
But before that, he wanted to do something. He's in his right mind, yet the thought never ever goes away with the pit.
“Trouble sleeping huh?”
Roy causally opened the full as hell refrigerator and grabbed two beers, held one in his hand, threw one on the couch. “Get up.”
“Get lost.” Jason was trying to enjoy some me time, wasn’t that good for one’s mental health?
“Nah, you need me. It’s all written on your face.”
“Name it.”
“I quote, I’m thinking of something that involved punches and blood and tears and I shall be the only one who received them. End quote.”
Jason pried the beer open and remained quiet.
“Well, what if I was thinking about killing joker?”
Jason’s in all respects fine if Roy didn’t concur. Not that Roy had bat-high moral standards, but that he needed to think about his baby girl.
Death could change someone, so did having a new life that bonded with you, till the end of line.
“As long as you keep yourself out of danger, I don’t give a damn about it. You are Underestimating how much you meant to me.” And Roy hated it whenever Jason couldn’t see himself as the incredible human being he was.
All Jason felt was needy, so he poured some beer into his stomach. Knowing that Artemis would round the bend tomorrow morning if she found out that he’s too hungover for any activity she planned.
“I’m not a therapist. But I’m getting better. And you can rely on me, whenever you need it, or don’t, just talk to me, call me, break in and say hi. Stay close.” Roy meant it.
“Positive Negative is still negative. Maybe you should stay away instead.”
It’s the best thing that has happened to Jason these days, that knowing his best friend was going in the right direction. He would give everything to protect that. So it didn’t hurt that much to clear out when Jason realised he could be the menace.
“Life is no math question. And fuck you if you believe that’s true. I’ll send Lian to have your mind changed if needed. Positive negative negative doesn’t work that way.”
“Fuck yeah.” Beer rushed into his body, tears rushed out of it, this is the rule of midnight drinking.
“Jason.”
It was fucking-truly-fucking hard to bring that up.
“I will die before anyone can place their hands on you.” Roy sounded so fucked up when he tried to stop wraping his head around that night.
How did it feel to save a friend from death? It was glorified but he felt and feels like shit.
“It's okay, Roy. Focus on your breathing, you are near to having a panic attack now. Breath in 234, out 234, in 234, out 234…… there you go.”
“What if I was late? No. I was already late, Should have saved you earlier.”
“He’s not going to kill me. He did that because I killed someone so…”
“Look at me.” Roy snapped, “LOOK AT ME, Jason Peter Todd. Look at me and say that again.”
And he’s so loud that Lian’s awake and opened her door.
“Daddy?”
Jason standed up, “Lian bear, I’m sorry that we woke you up. Can another bedtime story compensate for your loss?”
“Then two stories tomorrow. No fight. I don’t wanna see you hurt.” Lian allowed Jason to pick her up and hold her back to bed. Jason placed a gentle forehead kiss with fondness.
“We will talk about it tomorrow. Night night.”
When he’s back in the living room, Roy’s not there. And he found him on the rooftop.
“She’s scared that we may fight each other. Did you…” Jason wasn’t sure if it’s okay to talk about it.
“Yes, with Oliver. And she’s here too when I brought you home.”
That’s why she said I don’t wanna see you hurt . Jason never met Lian while he’s seriously injured.
“Jason, don’t say that. Don’t say that you believe he won’t beat you to hell. You were unconscious, I wasn’t. But you knew that. Or else you would fight back. You wanna deny that? Fine, just look at me and say that.”
Jason did. He did look at Roy, the watery eyes.
“I believe that he won’t kill.”
“Who is he? Whom to kill?”
“Batman, I believe that he won’t kill…” me?
Jason couldn’t lie to his best friend’s eyes.
“No you don’t. So what if I was late, too late that I can only bring your dead body with me? If you want to die, tell me. I can help you. But don’t you ever do this again to me. You copy that?” Roy was calm as hell.
“Yes sir. I’m sor…”
“No. I don’t need your apology. And don’t apologise because someone wanted to kill you. It’s not your fault. Your mistake was to underestimate your value for those who love you. Artemis was going for his head when she figured out that. Bizarro was ready to offer his help even if he had to go against Supe. And Kori? Me? The next time you see Batman, you run. I don’t care if that hurts your dignity. I’m not going to calm them down again because I’m so fucking done with Batman.”
Roy couldn’t help but add, “And someone’s willing to kill Joker for you. If you don’t want to do that yourself, tell me, tell us . We have no trouble doing that for you. That includes an assassin that scared the shit out of me by standing in front of the door the night I brought you back.”
Jason always knew that Talia wanted to end Joker’s life badly. He wouldn’t be startled if she decided that was the best birthday present for him.
However, he just didn’t want to think about, running away from Batman?
“Roy. I don't want to lose faith in him.”
“Jay.”
“I don’t. I don’t want to lose faith in him.” maybe it was not his choice to make, not anymore.
Everyone knew Jason Todd should know how much the man meant to him. As Bruce Wayne or as Batman. He lived to look up to his standard, his rule, he failed and died because he disobeyed his orders. He came back to life but he failed, again. It really wasn’t so hard to come to the conclusion that he’s correct. He's a soldier. Soldiers die when they challenge the order and do the wrong thing.
And Jason Todd wanted to believe that he meant more than just a soldier or a villain to Batman. that he’s his son. that he could trust his father. Who is Jason Todd if he’s not the son of Batman, Bruce Wayne?
But he couldn’t. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself, all he saw in his dream was Joker beating him to death with Batman. Which hurt more? He couldn’t tell.
“Jason, you can try if you want to. But he has to prove himself to you, to his children. And you may not concur this, but I do think that it’s okay to let go and move on from a toxic relationship Instead of trying to give him a third chance to fail you. Well Giving chance matters when you want to rebuild a relationship, but what if you don’t? you don’t have to. Therapy and mental health is not all about forgiveness. Moving on from scars, all you need is to forgive yourself and love yourself.”
The former, Roy is still working on it, but the latter proved to be easier when you were surrounded by people that you love and love you. And Roy’s fucking sure that they could build a city with just the people who love Jason. And if he doesn’t feel home on earth, they could go off together and find a planet that they had saved.