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It was noon, the perfect time for dinner.
The five heroes made themselves very comfortable in the dining room and engaged in lively conversations as they waited for Cacao’s palace servants to bring them their… reheated leftovers!
There was truly so much to catch up on…
Dark Cacao listened intently as Hollyberry recalled the story of when Royalberry wanted to pluck out the ripest berry out of a tree, and fell off, scraping his knees. “I would love to bring the boy over to visit— I even thought about it when I was coming here,” she said, “But the road to the Dark Cacao Kingdom might still be a bit too dangerous. Maybe in a year or two, I could come and visit with him!”
“That’d be wonderful. He really must’ve grown up since the last time I saw him.” Cacao looked fond, before glancing towards Vanilla, “Ahh, Pure Vanilla. Say, how is Custard doing?”
“Ahh.” Vanilla held his breath, as if he got poked in the back with a needle, “Ah, you know. She’s fine, well… She’s a grown woman now…”
“Wow…” Holly smiled sadly, “And it feels like just moments ago when you brought her to us, as a tiny freshly baked Cookie in your arms…”
“Mhm, that’s the thing with old age, I suppose,” Vanilla looked glum, “Years start to fly by, feeling like months instead… Before you know it, your daughter is taller than you, and has more important things to do than spend time with her dad…”
“It sounds like you’re not on too good terms with her…” Cheese commented from the sidelines.
“N-Nooo, it’s not like that, I don’t think she hates me or anything. We just don’t always agree on the same thing, she has quite rebellious interests… sometimes.”
“Hmm…” Cacao hummed thoughtfully, “Combat, right?”
“Yes, she has a total fixation on martial arts and combat, even though her hands are built for wielding healing magic instead…”
“Oh, I know plenty of warriors who wield magic alongside swords.” Holly gestured with her finger, “Those make the most terrific of opponents!”
Vanilla’s mood sank, and with it, the staff’s orchid looked like it wilted a little, “I just feel a bit useless, you know… She’s happier with anyone else as her teacher rather than me… She asks me all the time when Hollyberry or Dark Cacao are visiting, because she wants to spar with you two…”
“Aww! I’d love to!” Holly chirped.
“I’m honored.” Cacao added.
“I’m a good warrior too, though~…” Vanilla melted onto the table, “Why doesn’t she want to spar with her dad too~…”
Lily patted his woe little head. “S-She doesn’t like me either.”
“Don’t insinuate that she dislikes meee…!”
Ah, all the talking was really pleasant. Cacao missed their company so dearly, he was sad to leave them for even a second.
“I’ll be back in a moment,” he said as he stood up from his designated throne, “there’s something I need to check up on.”
His parting was acknowledged by an universal “Uh-huh!”
Dark Cacao left the dining room. Suddenly it became dead quiet.
Leaned deeper into the table, Cheese took a gulp of her tea, before falling into a distinguished whisper mode…
“There’s something off about him, isn’t there?”
Holly leaned in as well, “What do you mean?”
Cheese enunciated; “Fuller.”
“Let’s not bodyshame each other…” Lily said meekly.
“I’m not bodyshaming!” Cheese turned to her, “It’s just that in his case, it’s not something you’d expect, right?”
“Maybe his metabolism just changed…” Holly shrugged, “I dunno, I think he’s really hot right now, like this.”
“I think so too.” Vanilla said dreamily.
“Yeah, huggable, but,” Cheese glanced around, “Doesn’t he look a bit sick to you guys?”
“Mhm, a bit sleep deprived.” Holly analyzed, “His hands are all shaky from… coffee?”
“Maybe he’s just nervous… I would be too, in his place…” Lily ran her hands down her braid, looking towards the table shyly.
Vanilla did well in being quiet during this conversation. He noticed the changes in Cacao too, but he chose to wonder about them inside his head. From the beginning his heart longed to congratulate Cacao, tell him how proud he is, and ask him about how the delivery went—but he couldn’t do any of it yet… he anticipated the moment he could get to do it.
But how are you doing, Cacao… What’s going on inside your head…
I left you right after you had that mental breakdown, and surely, within days, you had to give birth…
I hope you didn’t suffer…
Cheese, Vanilla, and Lily, had their backs turned to the door from whence Cacao left. It was Hollyberry who sat on the opposite side of the table. It was her who suddenly got up and shrieked.
Immediately the other three flipped around to look behind themselves and see—
Dark Cacao who stood on the doorstep, with something small bundled up in his cradling arms.
“No way…!!” Holly stood up from the table, followed by Cheese, Lily, and then Vanilla.
Cacao couldn’t hide the bit of a pleased smile as his friends approached and swarmed around him to see the baby. Very slowly, he showed their sleepy, but not sleeping anymore face.
“Oh my gosh…!” Stars lit up in White Lily’s eyes.
Holly cooed, “Ahhh! Come on, spill the beans, Cacao!” she asked, “Is it a boy or a girl?”
“…Boy.” Cacao said calmly, “Meet… Dark Choco Cookie.”
“Dark Choco Cookie…” Vanilla glowed, “Ahh, he’s adorable…!”
“I thought Dark Choco could join us for dinner. What do you think, your highness?”
Cacao’s voice took on an even softer and silkier quality when he had the boy in his arms. Dark Choco was not having it, unfortunately. Unhappy to be awoken from his nap, his face wrinkled into a grimace, and he began to whimper.
“Ohh, so unhappy…” Cacao hugged the baby, gently pressing him to his shoulder, “Too much light in here, hmm? So many different fragrances in the air…”
Dark Choco’s whimpering began to escalate into crying.
Holly offered her hands immediately, “Oh no, do you need he-?”
“No, no,” Cacao shook his head, “He’ll calm down when he realizes it’s time for dinner.”
He slowly approached the dining table. Everyone else watched as Dark Choco’s tiny hands slapped his dad’s shoulder, or yanked at his hair. Cacao completely ignored all of it, simply bouncing the little baby, with the calmness of the sea. It’s like he’s already desensitized and numb…
Everyone returned to their seats, and in a pleasant coincidence, that was when royal servants returned with platters of food for everyone. Cacao received a bottle of milk.
“Bon appétit, Cacao.” Cheese teased him lightheartedly.
“Very funny.” He removed the boisterous baby from his shoulder to cradle him in his arm again. Both the baby and the bottle had to be at specific angles to ensure safe feeding. When the teat nudged Dark Choco’s lip, he stopped whimpering, and happily sucked onto it.
Blissful silence. Nobody could focus on their food, and stared at Dark Choco instead, with stupid smiles all around.
“Aren’t you going to eat anything too, Cacao?” Holly asked him. His lashes fluttered awake, “Uhm, I already ate. I’m not hungry.”
“Is that so…”
After a few minutes passed, and the joy of seeing a little baby sank down and cooled off… A mildly awkward mood rose up into the air instead. In silence, the four heroes shot side-eyes at one another and wondered.
…How?
A blank expression was all over Dark Cacao’s posture. Barely moving, only giving Dark Choco a thousand yard stare, through eyes that slowly closed further and further…
“Don’t doze off, daddy!”
Vanilla’s voice startled Cacao awake, “Ah?” he looked up, then back down to what he was doing, “I’m not falling asleep.” …He seemed to suppress a yawn in his mouth.
“He’s not letting you sleep at night, eh?” Holly asked cutely, “Yup yup… Prepare for a whole another year of that, daddy.”
Cacao sighed like a three hundred year old tortoise would sigh. And that was not too far from it, he was three thousand years old instead. “You’re right, I feel wooly… Milk, coffee, milk, coffee, milk, coffee, milk… That’s the only thing I’ve been seeing for the past few weeks. This is funny,” he prepared to tell a joke, “I’m so loopy that even in my dreams I see the same things as when I’m awake. And the other day I had a nightmare, that I accidentally fed Dark Choco pure coffee, and I drank his formula milk instead.”
“Aww,” Vanilla proposed, “Maybe we can help you out while we’re here, then?”
Holly added, “We can take care of the little booger while you rest!”
“No, no, no, no…” Cacao scoffed, “I’m so tired of being tired all the time. ‘Needing’ to ‘rest’. I want to get things done , not sleep . And bother you all with my own baby while at it.”
“You’ll get more things done if you rest, dumbo.” Cheese then waved her fingers at the baby, tapping her acrylics, “Uuuu, I wanna hold him so badly, can you let us hold him, Cacao?”
“After he’s done eating.”
Vanilla once again felt like he was the only one who really understood what Cacao meant, when he said ‘I’m so tired of being tired all the time’… He bit his lip.
After everyone was done with their reheated leftovers (and rice cakes, which were still as delicious as new), Dark Cacao’s friends began nagging and begging him to let them play with the baby. Though he hesitated to place the baby in anyone else’s arms… he didn’t show it too much. He only felt a tinge of anxiety when Hollyberry took Dark Choco… He opened his eyes wide, and with a content expression, for the first time since they’ve seen him.
“Waaa! So red! Red like strawberries!” Holly said in an excited whisper, “And look at those cheeks! You’re the sweetest little thing in the world, aren’t you! I’m Hollyberry, I’m your aunt!”
Cheese hovered above her, waving at the boy from behind Holly’s shoulder, “Hiiii. I’m your aunt too! Goodness, you look like such a grub! I could eat you!”
Dark Choco’s tiny hand reached out, seemingly interested in the shine and shimmer of Golden Cheese’s wings. Charmed by his interest, she carefully flapped them, prompting the baby to a toothless grin.
“Ohhh, you like gold, don’t you? Of course you do.” Cheese leaned her chin on Holly’s shoulder, cooing sweet nothings at the boy, “I can already tell you’re a man of more refined taste than your father!”
Father in question scoffed from a distance away.
“Cacao,” Vanilla tapped him on the shoulder, “May I borrow you for a second?”
“Yes…” but he took one more glance at the women babysitting his son, before he could turn his focus to Vanilla… and let himself be led to a dark hallway. Far away enough that if they kept their voice down, the rest of the group wouldn’t hear them.
(White Lily stood in between the two groups, frantically not knowing where to go.)
Cacao looked down at Vanilla, “What did you want to talk about?”
“Well… How are you doing?” the other tilted their head, “How did ‘it’ go?”
“Haah…” Cacao scratched his neck, “Well it… it was a shame that you weren’t present…”
“It was that bad?” Vanilla wrinkled his forehead.
“I couldn’t walk for a month.”
“For a…?!” he blinked, though through closed eyes, “Goodness… But you’re better now, right?”
“Well, I can walk now. I’d rather not run. I still can’t… fight properly…”
“I see… And how are you feeling, mood wise?”
“I needed a psychiatrist.”
“By the Witches…!! ”
“Shh, keep your voice down.”
Vanilla crossed his arms, rolling his finger on his bottom lip, “It… It must’ve been really bad… After all that you’ve already been through… For a baby to be the thing that tipped you over and convinced you to seek psychiatric help…”
“Why does that sound like condescension?”
Cheese was holding the baby high above herself, as Dark Choco flailed his arms and made little grunts, seeming relatively content.
“Gurgh, gurgh!” she mocked him happily, “Wow, you have so much to say! You’re pretty heavy, eh!”
“How old do you think he is?” Holly pondered out loud, “Royalberry was such a tiny newborn…”
“I dunno, I don’t know the default size of a baby.”
The berry queen took on a thoughtful expression as she gazed into Dark Choco’s profile. It really dawned on her then, just how similar he already looked to Cacao. This was an outstanding detail. “…Hmm…”
“What are you thinking about?” Cheese asked as she lowered the prince, and gently hugged him, rocking back and forth.
“Dark Cacao… he vanished for about seven months…” Holly cupped her chin, “…And after this time, he suddenly reappeared with a newborn baby in his arms…”
“Mhm.”
“…Do you remember what he said earlier?” She asked, “He said something like, ‘The reason why I disappeared had to do with why I was so curt to you back then’…”
“Yeah…”
“Do you remember anything else from that day, about his behavior? Did he say something strange, before you had your argument?”
“I’m not sure… He was really weird and petty from the beginning…” Choco began playing with her dangly earring, which she ignored.
“Well, before that happened, we were all at Pure Vanilla’s palace… and one morning I woke up to see Dark Cacao puking violently into the toilet.”
“Ew. Wait, what are you insinuating?”
Holly looked worryingly at the oblivious baby.
“…I don’t know. None of it makes sense…”
Vanilla took a look at Cacao, which was prolonged enough that it made the other feel strange.
“W-Well… Cacao, what are you planning for tonight?” asked Vanilla.
“What do you mean?”
“Will you come out to us?”
Cacao averted Vanilla’s eyes, “Tch.”
“Mmmnh… I feel like I should let you know… That they are suspicious and worried about you.”
“Hmm…”
Vanilla gave a sheepish smile, “If you haven’t decided on it yet, I’m urging you that you should open up about what happened to you…” he took the other’s hands in his own, giving off a reassuring light, “It’s not just me, Cacao. We all see when you’re not in your best state. We all want to be there for you.”
Cacao’s eyes fell down upon their laced fingers. Vanilla went,
“You promised me… You promised to tell us how you became pregnant in the first place.”
“Hey, White Lily,”
She turned around, hearing Cheese’s voice, “Hm?”
“I think the little prince is really interested in you.”
Dark Choco’s eyes were fixed on the healer, chewing his lip, and reaching out with a hand in her direction.
“Oh my.” Lily came closer to them, “D-Does he want me to hold him…?”
“Try it!” Cheese offered him, “He’s a bit heavy, watch out.”
Lily’s petite arms scooped the prince from her friend’s grasp, and cradled him. Dark Choco was mesmerized by her; his red eyes stared into her red eyes.
“Ahh… Hello, Cacao Junior…” she giggled nervously, “I am White Lily Cookie… Perhaps, I am your third aunt?”
His little nose breathed in the flowery fragrance in the air… Even when she bounced him up a little, in order to get a better grip on him, he was completely still and silent. Dark Choco closed his eyes… and snuggled onto her dark green robes.
“Well…” Holly raised her brows, “His highness decided that you’re the perfect bed for napping. You have no choice but to let him!”
Lily looked a bit flustered, “Oh my, oh dear…” …she was endeared.
Vanilla returned to the room, with Cacao trailing behind him.
“Hey, there you are. What were you doing over there?” Cheese raised her voice to greet the two. Vanilla avoided the answer with a chuckle, swapping his staff from one hand to the other.
“It is about time that we went upstairs, so you can unpack your things, and…” Cacao trailed off, “…and saw the prince’s room.”
“It’s really cute!” Vanilla chimed, “The decorator did wonderful!”
Holly huffed, “Ehhh? Have you already seen it, Vanilla?”
“!!!”
“!!!”
Both Cacao and Vanilla looked like deer in headlights.
“N-No!” stuttered Cacao,
“I mean, yes!” Vanilla clashed, “I uh, we uh… I already saw it earlier today!”
“Oh, that, that’s right!”
The three girls all squinted at them so severely that it made sweat form behind Cacao and Vanilla’s bangs.
“Oh,”
Changing the topic, Cacao’s focus wandered to the white haired sorceress, “White Lily, you…”
She was still cradling the perfectly sleepy prince in her arms, “I think he likes me…”
“H-How strange…” Cacao approached her closer, voice quiet, “He usually trusts only me with falling asleep.”
Dark Choco looked content in White Lily’s arms, as if she had always been present in his life. The king, and the healer, both stared in silence at the prince for a moment, clueless on what to do. Any movement, they feared, would wake him.
Until his nose twitched, inhaled, and then— Dark Choco let out a tiny snort-sneeze.
“Oh!” Lily and Cacao got startled in unison.
“I-I’m sorry, it must be my scent…” she apologized, as the prince opened his eyes, looking very groggy.
“In that case,” Cacao scooped his hands under Lily’s without hesitation, “perhaps it's time for me to hold him.”
“Oh,” she let the baby be taken from her, “Okay, okay…”
She had a rather blue disposition by default—Cacao did not notice that parting with the little prince made Lily gaze solemnly after him.
The Heroes then proceeded to retrieve their luggage from near the dining table, and led by Dark Cacao, they went up flights of stairs.
They would have separate bedrooms as always. Nothing extraordinary happened, when the five discussed who would sleep where. But, the more time passed, and the closer they got to seeing Dark Choco’s room, the more withdrawn Cacao’s mood seemed to become. He gave the prince away into a certain servant’s arms, and waited in a shadow for everyone to be done. Pure Vanilla could only guess what was going on inside that man’s head… hope that it’s nothing tragic.
“Ahh, that reminds me!” Holly ripped everyone out of the increasingly sleepier mood, “I mean, I know that there’s no celebration to be had right now, but I couldn’t have possibly come to visit you without a gift!”
Cacao reacted monotonously, “Oh my, what do you have.”
“I brought a little… a little special…” Holly came up to Cacao, hiding something behind her back.
“…”
“His very first rival, a ferocious beast, or alternatively… A cuddle buddy!”
She presented a plush toy of the Greenish Red Dragon. It was barely smaller than the prince himself. Indeed, a perfect cuddle buddy.
Cacao accepted it with both hands, his gaze serious. “It smells like pitaya fruit… I think he’ll like it. Thank you, Hollyberry.”
Then White Lily came from another room. She looked insecure in her gift. “Uhm, I… I wanted to give a gift to you too, but… Due to the lack of details, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect when I came here…” she mumbled, “I would’ve liked to give you something truly useful. A medical cream, for example. Something for the mother of the Cookie.”
Cacao blinked, listening intently to her words.
“If there is a mother, I don’t know, so therefore, I brought… A bundle of medications…”
She presented a dark green material baggy, tied by a white string. “Nasal spray, vaseline, a medicine dispenser for infants, and I saw this adorable binky, I just couldn’t resist not buying it…” she chuckled, “And finally, there is a little hat. Pure Vanilla sewed it, but I added the flower embroidery onto it.”
When she looked up, there was an indescribable emotion present on Cacao’s face. He gawked at her, he was… blushing?
“Those are… incredibly thoughtful gifts…” promptly stuffing the pitaya dragon under his armpit, he did a small bow as he accepted the bag from Lily with both of his hands. “Thank you very much, White Lily Cookie.”
“Y-You’re welcome, Cacao.” she smiled nervously at the taller man.
Pure Vanilla came forth with a present behind his back as well, “Well,” he began with a suspicious-looking smile, “Since White Lily wanted to give you so many gifts, I thought I’d be more humble, for the balance…”
Cacao raised a brow at the bumbling little wizard.
“It’s a bit overdue, but…”
Pure Vanilla held up a large bar of toblerone.
“Oh my goodness…” Cacao turned his face away, to which Vanilla began laughing.
“Don’t you like it?” he joked, seeing Cacao cover his red face with a hand. Holly, Lily, and Cheese all glanced back and forth between the two men.
“What?” “What??” “What???”
“Is there some inside joke that we’re not aware of?!” Holly asked mischievously.
“First secret meetings, now some inside jokes, you two are really gay today! Quit it!” Cheese joked.
Vanilla looked innocent, “I’m glad it made you smile, dear Cacao.”
“Shush it, you rascal.” Cacao received the bar of toblerone with two hands. Even ironic gifts were to be accepted graciously and with high manners. “…We may… eat it later today…”
Finally all eyes landed on Golden Cheese, who had joined the little meet-up, but… empty handed.
“I… I had a gift for you too, but…” she looked down in shame, “I lost it… My luggage… And the gift with it too…”
Cacao nodded, giving her a sympathetic look, “That is no problem.”
Bummed out, Cheese gritted her teeth, “It’s just such a shame… The best I can do is offer you a share of my spoils, from my over-abundance of them…”
“The intention was very kind of you, cheesebird.”
She crossed her arms, deep in thought, “…I know what I’ll do.” clearly doing calculations behind her eyes, “I shall open an insurance policy, tied to me, and directly to Dark Choco Cookie!” the golden sheen lit up in her eyes, she looked up to Cacao with a determined grin, “I will regularly donate some spare riches onto the account tied to the policy… And when Dark Choco reaches eighteen years of age, he will be able to withdraw the savings!”
Cacao was pleasantly surprised by the offer, “Oh, what a noble gift.”
“Yes yes,” she readjusted the crown on her head, “I propose that we get into the paperwork while I’m present in your kingdom. An international policy requires some extra steps! Fortunately, I am veeeeery oriented in banking. And in international business!”
“So it shall be.”
Holding up all the various presents in his arms, Dark Cacao figured that this is as good a time as ever to finally… Introduce his friends to the prince’s very own room, just a few doors away. The brief relief he felt from receiving such heartfelt and helpful gifts quickly passed, and he was once again bearing that uncomfortable, stern look on his face, as he led them.
The guard at the door bowed and moved, allowing his majesty, and his royal colleagues to enter.
The group didn’t know what they were expecting to find out when they entered the baby’s bedroom.
It was cozy… Though it still perfectly matched the color scheme and aesthetics of every other place in the Black Citadel, this one room felt like it offered refuge from the cold world outside it.
It was cute, peaceful. Mostly empty; and ready for Dark Choco Cookie. As the prince grows up, this room will become filled with his belongings.
The first of those were being added right now.
Dark Cacao placed White Lily’s gift atop a table in the room’s corner, which appeared to also house powders and diapers. The toblerone was set there too, for the time being.
He set the dragon plushie on a shelf. Its stark colors contrasted wildly with everything else.
He approached the crib in the center of the room, and sat down on a dark chair beside it. There were exactly four poufs spread out in various places in the room, and so, everyone found a place to sit.
Because they knew that Cacao invited them in here for a conversation.
Even so… he found it hard to look up at his four colleagues, and could only stare down at the baby, which croaked quietly.
The mood shifted from cheery to deep and serious. Cacao’s disposition, leading up to this point, conveyed to everyone that whatever he was about to say, would be very… very important.
“Children, huh…”
Dark Cacao began in a small, low voice.
“A precious gift… bestowed to us from the Witches.”
Pure Vanilla scrolled through memories of his daughter, behind his eyes. She hardly bore a smile on her face, even though she was raised with purity and kindness in her heart. It filled him with mixed emotions…
Hollyberry could think about her son with a small smile on her lips. The kid made her worry sometimes, but he still was a perfect, kind, and well-behaved young boy…
“Every twenty years, we came to the great Tower to hear the voice of our Godly Makers… And heard their appraisal, accepted their blessings, or their painful criticism…”
Golden Cheese sat with her legs crossed, staring coldly onto the carpet patterns below.
White Lily sat with her back turned to the window, and the moon’s light shining on the back of her head. She felt every muscle in her body tense, minimally, as Cacao brought up the topic of the Witches.
“It is impossible for us to breed. More specifically, it is impossible for us to create life like mammals do.”
His heart beat just a bit louder, as if fearing judgment from the goddesses, who are always listening, always watching.
“The Witches did this to control which Cookies have the right to reproduce. Our Soul Jams are both a source of power, and a gene that separates us from our kind, forever…”
Lily glared at the king through her eyebrows.
“…Thirty years ago, Pure Vanilla used the Ovens to bake his daughter… Ten years ago, Hollyberry used them to bake her son…” Cacao paused—his eyes were met with Lily’s. She anticipated his next words, or perhaps… wondered if he’d dare to continue. His gaze darted away, and it seemed he did not dare.
“And now we are sitting here and wondering, then…
How did Dark Cacao receive a child…”
The child, which was reaching out with its tiny fist, reached out for its father’s face far above it.
“…It is not an adopted child… And above all…” his lip quivered, “The letter said that it was born, not baked, right?”
“…………”
“Well, my friends, I… I cheated fate.
And even now I… do not know how to explain it.”
“Please, Dark Cacao…” Vanilla chastised him, “Make an effort to do it.”
“Yes…” He heeded his leader’s words, “I must try…”
Cacao drew circles in the outer part of his hand. As he fell deeper into thought, the drawing escalated into scratching. He wished he could pause this moment, walk out, come back to it later, or better yet, that he would never have to say it out loud. But… there was no more running. His speech was clear and straightforward.
“Over a year ago, I found myself wandering through the hundreds of stairs that led to the top of the Cake Tower. I can’t tell you what my thinking sounded like, I was simply… longing for something that I couldn’t have.
It all feels like a dream when I think about it now…
When I reached the top, I came to my knees and prayed. The last thing I expected was that in that moment, a Witch would speak right back to me.”
He felt all eyes in the room shooting their confused stares into him.
“A child, you say… You would do anything for a child?” He repeated what the womanly voice uttered inside his mind, “You’ve got some nerve to come here, yearning, after everything that was already bestowed to you…”
—The Witch looked at him through an opening in the clouds, grinning from ear to ear. Cupping her cheek, thoroughly entertained by the misery of a tiny old Cookie man, kneeling in the middle of a silver plate. He was frightened to his core.
“…You’re hilarious, little guy! Out of your lil squad, I think you’re totes the funniest!” She was the size of ten mountains, and she reached through the rift with her wrinkly hand. Just a light tap of her finger, at his stomach, was enough to send him flying backwards. “You’ve had it too easy for a good while now. I will grant your wish, under one condition…” her voice creaking, “…And to make things funny, I won’t tell you what it is!”
The magic dispersed before Cacao could even collect his thoughts, or react to what was happening in front of him. But from that moment he lived wondering if it ever happened at all, or if he experienced a vivid hallucination.
“All came crashing down on me when I looked in the mirror one day, and realized that I’ve begun gaining weight…” he flicked his head in Cheese’s direction, rather than looking up at her, “It was during my stay in Golden Cheese’s kingdom.”
She interrupted him, staggering, “W-Wait, you… you don’t mean to tell me that…”
“I was impregnated.” the grimace he made almost resembled a smile, “And that, then… I began to realize what the Witch decided to do. She was beyond entertained by my sadness, anguish, and depression. So by granting my wish in this way, she forced me to confront one of my biggest fears, and secrets…”
Vanilla opened his eyes.
Cacao ran a hand through his hair, letting out a stressed sigh, “I was intended to be a woman… When I was baked.”
“Huh?” Holly’s eyes widened.
Lily did the same, but made no noise.
Cheese froze.
“From the moment I was put on this earth, I rebelled against fate, and against the Witches’ will. Or so I thought. It’s not like any of us have ever had the courage to have a conversation with the Makers when we saw them. They speak at us, not with us. Thus, all my life I felt like the Witches made a mistake… By giving me this strong body, but dropping me into this snowy part of the continent, where women were not seen as fit for battle. I transitioned into a man’s persona because I thought that that’s what I am supposed to be.” He stared at the portraits of mountains coating the walls, “It felt like an obligation, an obligatory decision, just like every other decision I’ve gone on to make in my life. Abstinence, out of obligation to survive. Like that.
And certain events in my life, made me abstain from whatever inner longing I still had left for being a woman.
The longer I’m alive, the more infantile and wrong this logic seems… It was the way I saw the world, and the way I saw gender roles when I was a few years old. In fact, when I evolved from being a vagabond to the founder of a nation, I proposed a new set of virtues and philosophies, that united all Cookies of all flavors and genders.
But I suppose I felt that it was… too late for myself to make a change like that. After three thousand years of restraining myself to the identity of a man, and living in discomfort with my sex, it’s hard for me to fantasize about suddenly… breaking free.
Coming out to anyone, to… you four. The questions, the confusion. It’s pressure that I would rather not deal with. So I endured the discomfort that my identity brings me at times, in silence. In fact, quietly enduring discomfort is also a philosophy that I’ve made all of my nation practice.
Detransitioning is not the right word. I never cared to find the right word for it… I…
I was forced to confront this part of my body, and my mind, in the form of carrying my own child. And through it, after many months, I began to adjust to it so well, that… Sometimes the urge to discard all manhood and be Her Majesty felt stronger than ever. It confused me…
A part of me expected that when I gave birth to Dark Choco, I would quickly go back to the way I lived before. A king, nothing more, nothing less. I could quickly forget that the way my son came to be was through my own body. And I thought that once I see you all again, I would come up with some grand lie and make up a story about how he was made. I would tell the same lie to him, when he grows up. But at first I struggled to come up with a solid lie. And then I began to feel like…
Like…
I don’t even want to lie anymore.
I began to find pride in what happened. I was proud of myself for having carried this child, and endured the debilitating injuries that he gave me, when I gave birth. For the first time in my life, I was happy to have a feminine side. I reclaimed it, after being scared of it for so long.
But… What do I do with myself?”
The room was quiet, the air felt heavy.
Dark Cacao concluded, softly, “…What happens now?”