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The crisp night air of New York City as Moon Knight's fist connected over and over with a guy's face that was trying to kidnap a young girl felt so good after a little bit of detective-like work. He didn't mind it when Steven took over for the boring shit but sometimes the British nerd wouldn't allow him to take over and get a good few punches in until Steven became too stressed over the situation and forced the switch. But tonight was his night, Steven and him came to a slight agreement on nights that Steven doesn't have plans, he can go around parading as Moon Knight. Also, Khonshu has been extra angry and in need of hearts and Moon Knight was gonna deliver them with open blood-stained white gloves.
Each time his fist connected with the face that was morphing into a bloody mess, Moon Knight could hear clicks of the man's jaw breaking and the bright white rage taking over as he thought about the countless children he hurt or could have thought about hurting.
Click . A flash. Click . Another flash. Click .
Wait a sec-
He stopped, turning around and dropping the body to see a man in black and red holding a camera.
Fucking christ. Marc almosted groaned out, standing straight and looking at the other very familiar man with narrowed eyes.
'Marc, leave Wade alone. He helped me!' Great and now Steven is here.
"Don't stop on my account!" Deadpool took another photo before standing up straight. "God, that ass is the second best I have seen in my life."
No fighting Deadpool, fine... Marc internally groaned. Second best thing he could think of is making Steven annoyed and what better way to annoy Steven is to be on Wade's side on his lame pickup lines?
"Only second best? Shame, gonna have to double up on leg day." Moon Knight asked, kicking the guy before moving closer to the other. "Name's Moon Knight." He extended his bloodied hand for a shake.
"Deadpool." He took the hand into a firm shake with a huge grin that you can clearly see under his mask. "Don't worry about the pics, it's for a personal collection."
"You're saying my ass isn't good enough to sell? And here I was thinking about making an OnlyFans." Marc quipped back, a smile growing on his face.
Deadpool laughed, "I would totally subscribe to your OnlyFans."
Of course he would. Marc thought. Wade was definitely annoying but as long as he was in the mood to play along, Marc was willing to let Steven's man crush live.
' Hold on, he isn't my bloody man crush!' He closed his eyes to roll them at Steven's panicked words. 'We literally interacted once and he saved me! And! You’re the one flirting with him!’
Barely flirting… Marc thought, looking the other up and down now that he has control of the body. Also, we share the same body buddy, I know some stuff when we're co-fronting.
“Beating up some bad guys?” Deadpool looked over the man in white shoulders, lifting the camera up to take a photo.
“I am the fist of Khonshu, beating up bad guys comes with the job description.” He looked behind him, “Men that kidnap little girls are just the type of hearts Khonshu loves to devour.”
“Ah, killing pedos, where were you when I was a kid?” Deadpool chuckled, slapping the back of the other. Moon Knight snapped his head towards the other, sensing it as a joke but something in the back of his mind told him it wasn’t fully one. He found that most dark humor comes from a dark past and while he finds the other man mostly annoying… He wouldn't wish any ill will to a child version of Deadpool. Wade cleared his throat, pulling Moon Knight from his thoughts. “So… Killing? Very cool, I dabble in the arts of murder," He karate chopped the air a few times. "Avengers probably don’t like it but I don’t know if they’re in this universe or nah.“
'Great, the both of you can bond over senseless killings.' Steven chimed.
"It's not senseless killing." Marc muttered out loud but looked towards Deadpool. "And he's not dead."
"Senseless killing is subjective." Wade shrugged, pulling out his swords, "How about we make this a date and I kill the guy you beat to a bloody pulp and then we go out for tacos."
"I only eat tacos on Tuesday and it's Wednesday my dude." He placed his hand over the mercs to lower his weapons.
"Ah, Tumblr references." Wade melted, cocking his head towards Moon Knight and Marc can almost see the hearts floating out of him. "A man of culture, we love that."
Marc chuckled. "Raincheck on the death and date, Deadpool, you can bring me chocolates next time."
"Chocolates? I can do that, honey." He winked, putting his swords away. "Let his jail mates deal with him, yeah? Most don't survive their time locked up, good enough for me." He shrugged, pulling out his phone. "What about those digits? So I can text you about the chocolates, no dick pics, unless you ask of course." He winked, dangling his phone in front of Marc.
" We love a man that is into consent." Marc grinned but froze for about half a second, wondering if it was a good idea as Steven was telling him maybe it was a bad idea but he did have his own phone when he took over. And he wasn't the one stalking Wade's instagram every day, he was doing Steven a favor more than himself. Marc then took the phone and typed out his cellphone number. "Milk chocolate, by the way, cream filling." He winked.
"Marry me?"
Marc handed the phone over, "How about that date first before picking out what flowers go best with my white suit?"
-=-=-=-
Watching Moon Knight use a grapple hook to get onto the rooftop, his cape doing a dramatic crescent moon as he flew through the air, made Wade's heart burst at the sight.
[He does have a great ass.] White sighed.
"He sure fucking does, Spider-man has to watch out. Andrew or Toby, of course, Tom is a bit too young for me." Wade sighed, grinning at his phone and adding a heart emoji and changing the name. "What are the chances this number is fake?"
[Very high.] Yellow said, making Wade grumble that he was a party pooper. [Excuse me for being realistic! Try texting him, see if it even goes through.]
Wade's finger hover over the name. "Ehhh, he's busy swinging like Batman. It would be rude. Maybe later."
[ Pussy.]
"Wowo, I'll totally do it later! Then we can all cry when it's some old lady's number confused why her grandson never texts her." He rolled his eyes, walking out of the alleyway and kicking the unconscious guy in the stomach.
Once he got to his lonely apartment, Wade did his best to stall for time. First he made homemade tacos, unlike Moon Knight every day is taco day for Wade. Second, he actually did the dishes after cooking, rare and extremely uncommon but he felt like if he didn't do it now Wade would just panic about it later. Thirdly, while cleaning he decided to clean the whole apartment. It has seen better days since Vanessa was alive and Wade couldn't bring himself to clean up anything since it would remind him of her but also… If he cleaned then he wouldn't have to text Moon Knight yet.
[Vanessa died a long time ago, that movie was in 2018!]
"She was my soul mate, what do you expect from me?" Wade shoved the last of the garbage in a bag and opened the window to throw it out, not caring to look outside if it landed in the dumpster. (Which it didn't, for the record.) "Of course it didn't, asshole." He sighed, removing his mask and tossing it on the coffee table. "I spent a whole ass movie grieving, a handful of fanfictions also but you know how the Fandom prefers me with Spidey, for every five hundred Spideypool fic there's one fic with me romancing my girl. Lemme grieve for a tiny bit longer!" He did feel better cleaning up. Maybe the whole grieving process was coming to an end? It had been years. He does miss her, though, but Vanessa wouldn't want him to be sad forever. And thinking about it made him more sad… "Anyways, what do I even text the guy?"
[A simple hello would work.]
[Ask him if he wants a dick pic?]
"Nobody wants to see a lumpy dick that looks like a chewed up dog toy that has been lost at the dog park for the last decade." Wade grumbled, finger hovering over Moon Knight's number yet again.
[It's textured. Some people are into that!]
"No sane person is into that."
[Okay, hear me out, get one of those dildos that is the shape of a porn actor's dick and use that in the photo!]
[We are not sending a dick photo…]
"We will put a pin in that for later, I am going with Yellow's idea of something simple."
Deadpool: Milk chocolate with cream filling?
[That… wasn't what I meant…]
Moony <3: i also enjoy cream pies
Moony <3: i know a bakery in the village that makes them real good
"Jesus christ, he has to know what he's doing." Wade muttered, "But now we know it is him!" He grinned, lay down on the couch.
Deadpool: I do love to be stuffed with cream pies maybe our date?
[What the actual fuck am I reading?]
[This is gold material!]
Moony <3: not really into taking my mask off in public we would have to take it back to your place
"Oh. He absolutely knows what he is doing." Wade laughed, sending a string of emojis of a heart, eggplant, water droplets, and a pie.
A simple lol came from Moon Knight.
Maybe he could have this work.