Work Text:
Love was not permitted in the Red Room. They were taught that “love is for children”, and punished whenever they showed affection. Yelena had learned quickly to hide her emotions even before the mind control serum.
But after the serum, she didn’t have to. The serum erased all of her free will and ability to express her affection for people, not that she had any affection at this point.
But after she was out of the Red Room and met Kate, her feelings changed.
She wanted to tell Kate she loved her, but there was an instinct within her that warned her not to, lest she get punished severely.
There were multiple times she tried to say the words, but she couldn’t get them out.
The time she and Kate were talking on the couch while they were watching a movie. Kate turned to her, and told Yelena she loved her.
Yelena wanted to say it back, so much, but she didn’t. Instead, she smiled and kissed Kate.
The time Yelena was cooking breakfast, and Kate came up behind her, wrapping her arms around Yelena’s waist. Kate had rested her head on Yelena’s shoulder and quietly told Yelena she loved her.
Yelena had tried to say the three words she knew would light up Kate’s face, but they stuck in her throat. So she just smiled and held up a piece of sausage for Kate to taste.
This went on for a while, and Yelena tried to convince herself that it was alright for her to tell Kate she loved her, but it didn’t get any better. Until one day, where it came out of nowhere.
She was walking home with Kate down the sidewalk, wrapped up in a warm coat and holding several shopping bags.
Kate was attached to Yelena’s arm, only carrying only one shopping bag (because according to Kate, Yelena was stronger and should carry more bags. Yelena had just smiled and taken the bags happily, glad to help her girlfriend).
They were singing Christmas songs at the top of their lungs, ignoring the annoyed looks from the people outside. Kate had paused for breath and looked up at Yelena happily.
“I love you, ‘Lena,” Kate had said, her cheeks flushed from happiness and cold. Yelena had smiled at her and said, “I love you too, Kate Bishop,” without even thinking about it.
She was so caught up in her love for Kate and her joy to be with her that she hadn’t even thought about what she was going to say. It just slipped out of her mouth, easier to say than anything she had ever done before.
Kate had looked at her in slight surprise, and Yelena had realized the significance of what she had said.
Her mind whispered to her, punishment is coming , but she had resolutely ignored it and said the words again, relishing in the joy on Kate’s face.
“I love you, Kate Bishop, and I will never stop loving you until the day I die.”