Chapter Text
Megamind sat at the bar, drumming his painted fingernails on the bar-top to the loud music while the ice in his half-finished tonic water continued to melt. He was supposed to be meeting a contact here, but they were late. Of course. Nobody would dare to make the Master of All Villainy wait when he called a meeting. Unfortunately, he didn’t look like his usual self at the moment. His contact thought they were meeting with Sarah, a paralegal for one of the top attorneys in the city. All falsified, of course.
But apparently, it was ok to show up late for a meeting with Sarah. He just wanted to get a copy of those incriminating documents. That would help with his current investigation, and give him some juicy blackmail material.
So here he was. Just sitting here, using an image in his disguise watch of a young woman he’d scanned earlier in the week, and the fifth name on a list from the most popular names from what he guessed was her birth year. He took another sip of his tonic water and scanned the slightly-more-crowded-than-it-was-a-minute-ago bar again. Still no sign of his contact.
But since the bar’s business was picking up, it wasn’t a surprise when someone sat in the barstool next to him. He scowled at them, but his scowls didn’t have quite the same effect on his borrowed face. The dark-haired guy that’d sat next to him didn’t seem to notice, or care, about his scowl and just smiled at him in reply.
“How about I get you a new one of those, Honey?” the guy in a crumpled business suit asked him. At least the disguise watch was working if he managed to get hit on.
“No. I’m fine,” he replied coldly, hoping the man would buzz off.
The man failed to buzz off.
“Bartender!” he called. When the bartender looked over, he said, “Another round for me and the lady.”
Megamind rolled his eyes and said, “That’s really not necessary. I still have a drink and I’m waiting on someone. Now go away.” What he wouldn’t give to be able to pull his de-gun. And if this guy kept it up, he just might have to see if he could get away with it.
“Aww, don’t be like that, Cutie,” the guy cajoled and Megamind shot him a glare. “Just think of the fun we could have together.” Apparently, his glares weren’t working properly either.
Megamind gave him a cold smile through the dark curls that had fallen in his face and said, “I am. And I really don’t mind going back to prison.” It was positively routine by now.
“Exactly!” the Annoyance said with a laugh. Either he didn’t pick up the – admittedly subtle – threat, or he was already too drunk to have noticed it.
“Fuck off,” Megamind tried again. Damn his contact for having a soft spot for women. That was the only reason he picked this disguise in the first place. Now he had to put up with getting hit on from losers who won’t take no for an answer.
The bartender set a couple new drinks in front of the two of them.
The Annoyance said with a puffed-up sense of self-importance, “There ya go, m’lady. A fresh drink just for you.” Then he dared to place his hand on Megamind’s wrist.
He jerked his hand away and growled, “Touch me again and I will rip your arm off.” The Annoyance heard that for once and pulled back with slightly widened eyes. That’s better. That’s closer to the fear he expects to see in people’s eyes when they look at him.
“Omigod! I can’t believe you’re here! I haven’t seen you since Angie’s wedding shower!” a familiar voice said close to him. He turned towards the voice and was surprised to see Roxanne Ritchi quickly approaching him. He was even more surprised when she threw her arms around him. Did he unintentionally copy someone that Miss Ritchi knew? With his luck, it was a best friend or something. He would never be able to pass scrutiny. He just copied an image and voice print. He stiffened up from shock which allowed her to whisper in his ear, “Pretend you know me. Come sit at my table away from this creep. At least for a little while.” Then she pulled back with a smile.
She… was rescuing him? Is that what this was? Not wanting her efforts to go to waste, he played along, “Oh! I… wasn’t expecting to see you here.”
“Right? It’s a small city,” Miss Ritchi continued cheerfully, talking like they were in the same friend circle. “Come join us! You remember Erin, right?” She then linked her arm through Megamind’s at the elbow.
“Of-of course,” he lied and allowed her to pull him off his stool and let her lead him towards her table leaving both of his drinks behind.
When they got away from the Annoyance, she said, “Hey, so it looked like that guy didn’t want to leave you alone and I didn’t see you with anyone. Hope you don’t mind the rescue.”
He couldn’t help but smirk at the irony of the damsel rescuing the supervillain and answered, “I don’t mind.”
They arrived at Miss Ritchi’s table and she gestured towards an empty seat for him to take. As she sat down, she said, “I’m Roxanne, by the way. And this is Erin.”
Erin, a redhead wearing a white collared shirt, waved after being introduced and asked, “So she was right, huh? He was creeping on you?”
“I heard her tell him to fuck off and he didn’t fuck off. That’s a pretty good sign,” Miss Ritchi protested.
Megamind looked at Miss Ritchi thoughtfully but answered, “No, she’s right. He did refuse to fuck off. Although I think he was starting to listen when I told him I’d rip his arm off if he touched me again.”
Both his tablemates laughed then Miss Ritchi commented, “Yeah, I bet that got his attention. Probably the same reaction as when I have to threaten people with Megamind.”
He blinked at her in surprise. She threatened people with him? How?! “H-how does that work?” he asked cautiously.
She smirked and answered, “Quite well, actually. I just remind them who I am and that he’s due to kidnap me ‘any minute now because it’s been so quiet,’ and that they really don’t want to be with me when he arrives. ‘Who knows what he’ll do?’” She shrugged and said, “Hey, I may as well get some benefits from those kidnappings.”
Erin rolled her eyes and said, “Like you didn’t make your career out of it.”
Miss Ritchi pointed at her playfully and said, “Don’t give me that, little Miss Job-Security.”
“Hey it’s not my fault that no one else knows exactly how the servers integrate with the rest of the building,” Erin lightly protested.
Miss Ritchi grinned her grin that was all teeth and said, “I’ve seen those training binders you put together. Yes, it is. There are literally troubleshooting steps in there that says ‘Ask Erin.’”
“That’s how you know it’s a current version. The new version says ‘Ask Erin, unless she’s on vacation.’” Erin replied primly before they both broke down in laughter. “Hey! It’s a man’s world out there. I gotta carve a slice out somehow!”
“Here, here,” Miss Ritchi replied cheerfully and lifted her glass. Erin clinked hers to the offered glass and they both took a drink while still giggling.
Silence spread between them before Megamind just had to ask, “Sorry to bring it back up, but was my rescue a usual tactic you use?” It seemed pretty well practiced to have been made up on the spot.
Miss Ritchi sighed and stirred her drink before answering, “I haven’t had to use it before, but I’ve read about it. It’s to help discretely get other women out of a possible bad situation. Some bars have a fake drink you can order from the bartender that means you need help. But it doesn’t help if you don’t know about it.”
Erin chimed in and said, “Someone helped me out once like that. She was older so she pretended she was my mother’s friend and got me a cab home. I’m grateful to her, I think the guy slipped something into my drink. I don’t even remember getting home.”
“That’s why we got to look out for each other,” Miss Ritchi said as she placed a hand on her friend’s arm. She turned her attention back to Megamind and continued, “Which is why I was kind of keeping an eye on you when I noticed you were alone. And I thought I’d better step in when you started giving off even more leave-me-alone vibes than you were.”
Erin asked him, “Did you really come out to a bar alone? That’s just not a good idea.”
He admitted, “I’m meeting someone. They’re late. I didn’t really expect to be here this long.” He scanned the bar again to check if his contact had came in while he was distracted. Still nothing. He was beginning to suspect that his contact was going to be a no-show. That’d just mean he’d have to get the information in a more direct manner.
“Well, you can sit with us until they get here,” Miss Ritchi offered. “We can leave Creepo to sulk in the corner of the bar.”
“Thank you. I only plan to wait a few more minutes. If they don’t show, then I’ll make other plans,” he commented. Plans were already forming in his mind about where and when to break in and how to steal the information. Did he have everything he’d need in the car already? He usually kept the trunk fully stocked. But it wouldn’t hurt to have some brainbots scout the area first. He’d have to wait until the sun went down a little further, it was still light out.
Erin winced in sympathy and said, “Ouch. Getting stood up and having a creeper hit on you? Bad night.”
He smirked and commented, “Oh, I’ve had worse.” So far, he hadn’t been stabbed. That always put a damper on the evening.
“Haven’t we all?” Miss Ritchi asked dryly. “Well, I hope your night gets better… Wow, I’m sorry. I didn’t catch your name.”
“Sarah,” he lied. “And that’s quite alright. There was a lot going on. With you rescuing me and all.” He couldn’t resist teasing her even if she didn’t catch it. Or if she did, then she wouldn’t get why he thought it was funny.
He scanned the room again and caught sight of his contact finally entering the establishment. He sat up straighter and automatically wet a finger to smooth his eyebrows. Then he looked at his current tablemates and announced, “It appears that the person I was waiting on is here. Thank you for looking out for your fellow women.” He stood, turned towards his contact, and as he started to walk away added, “Until we meet again, Miss Ritchi.”
His mind focused on his current plot, he missed the puzzled and thoughtful look Miss Ritchi gave him.