Chapter Text
Honestly, it was a miracle that Nadja didn’t murder him when the crew finally noticed his screaming. Of course, there was some minor issues with international waters and you know, stowing away on a cargo ship in a coffin, but the begrudging application of hypnosis by Nadja led to smooth sailing across the Atlantic Ocean and landfall in England, that is, until they got to their motel room.
“You can’t stay with me Gizmo.”
“I’m sorry what.” Guillermo pauses trying to scrub the blood out of Nadia’s cloak.
“Honestly.” Nadja rolls her eyes with a huff. “You, Gizmo. Will be returning to Staten Island to knock some sense into my blockhead of a husband. I—” she gestures to the vast holdings of their mid-tier motel room “have important business in ‘jolly old England’ and cannot possibly leave.” She turns to face Guillermo, grabbing his face between her hands. “So you, my dear sweet Gizmo,” her hands tighten as she hisses out her next words, “will tell him that he will be here, or I’m going set fire to all his old pornos.”
Now, Guillermo isn’t looking forward to the trip back (considering his lack of passport and a shower and/or food), but also he never wanted to be here in the first place. Guillermo extracts his face from between Nadja’s clenched hands.
“Fine,” Guillermo stands, fetching a plastic bag of clothes one of the vampiric council familiars had graciously found for him. “Just let me—”
Nadja was already moving, scooping him up and dumping him back into Laszlo’s coffin. Guillermo hears hammering from above him and he groans, internally cursing the group of vampires he’s come to care about.
“Have a great trip Gizmo!” It’s Nadja, her voice muffled through several layers of wood and blankets. “I packed you some food and water, don’t come back unless you have my husband!”
And so, for the second time in as many days, Guillermo is on a trans-Atlantic freight ship, heading back to destination extremely known.
It’s no surprise that Guillermo is in a bad mood when he walks into the front hall of their recently abandoned house. He might actually murder Laszlo if he gets between him and a shower, but for once the house is blessedly silent. Once he finishes his shower, he’s relatively optimistic about his odds of getting in a meal before going to find his wayward vampire but of course, that’s the moment that the screaming starts.
It is shrill and high-pitched, grating on the ears and highly child-like. It can’t be Laszlo, it’s too high pitched for that, a victim maybe? If Laszlo has turned another baby… Guillermo frowns in frustration, turning towards the stairs. Time to deal with whatever was screaming loud enough to wake the dead.
Subtly, or well as subtle as you can be in an old house, Guillermo creeps towards the fancy room. He didn’t notice before, but the house was clearly in a state of disarray, candles and rugs askew though it lacked the bodies and blood that usually came from him leaving for any period of time.
As he gets closer, Guillermo starts to hear a second, lower voice. Laszlo, because it is Laszlo, no doubt about it, seems to be pleading or bargaining maybe, but the screaming is too loud for any real words to be audible.
The door to the fancy room is ajar, and as Guillermo nudges the door open with his foot he gets an eyeful of Laszlo holding a baby… with the head of Colin Robinson. Huh.
Laszlo is dishevelled. His clothes are covered in grey goop, his hair mussed and oily. Meanwhile, Colin Robinson is pristine in a neat blue bonnet and onesie.
“Laszlo?” Guillermo stares at the two, and Laszlo spins to see Guillermo. His eyes have deep bags beneath them, and the usual pallor of his skin is worse now with a sickly grey undertone.
Laszlo’s eyes widen at the sight of him. Colin Robinson, in his surprise quiets, staring at Guillermo.
“The fuck are you doing here Gizmo.” Laszlo tucks his chin to his chest. “You’re supposed to be protecting my good lady wife.” With this, Colin Robinson resumes his screaming and Laszlo cringes away from the baby still held safely in his arms.
“We’re not doing this now.” Guillermo walks up to Laszlo taking the still screaming baby out of his arms. Propping Colin on his hip, Guillermo grabs Laszlo by the arm and starts leading him out of the fancy room. “When was the last time you ate? Slept?”
“What are you doing. Unhand me.” Laszlo says, with no real bite, and no real struggle. Guillermo stops, letting him go and turning to face him.
“It looks to me like you haven’t eaten or slept in several days. Am I correct?”
Laszlo grumbles, baring his teeth at Guillermo.
“Enough of that. Answer the question.”
“You are correct.”
“Good.” Guillermo sighs. Colin Robinson seems to have calmed a little, settling his cheek against Guillermo’s shoulder. “Good.” Guillermo closes his eyes, praying for the strength required to wrangle the vampire in front of him. “Alright. Go to the library and have a seat on the couch. I’ll be down once I’ve got him settled and then we can talk, Ok?” Laszlo stares daggers at him but turns an stalks down the stairs.
“Fine” He hisses over his shoulder as he disappears.
Guillermo sighs, turning into one of the spare rooms. “What are we going to do with him huh, Colin Robinson?” He coos at the sleepy baby. He has to admit that the combo of adult face plus baby body is non-ideal, but once you get used to it the kid is pretty cute. “We’re going to have to take care of him, aren’t we? God, Nadja in going to be upset. Remind me to call her tomorrow, won’t you?” Guillermo pauses and looks at the baby. “And now I’m talking to a baby.” Guillermo makes a non-committal noise. “It’s all that time alone in a coffin probably.”
Colin Robinson peers up at him, eyes half lidded. Guillermo looks around for a moment, glad to easily find an extremely ancient-looking bassinet in a nearby room. Humming a lullaby that he only half remembers, Guillermo places the baby carefully down. Colin Robinson fusses for a moment before quieting, and Guillermo creeps out of the room, pausing outside of the room to check for any sound of crying. When none comes after a few minutes, Guillermo counts it as a success and walks downstairs to deal with Laszlo.
Making a quick pitstop at the kitchen, he stares deeply into the cobwebbed cupboard of instant meals he keeps on hand for emergencies. Having made his choice between instant ramen and more instant ramen, he waits for the kettle to boil and a mug of blood to reheat. There are the remains of what like bottles scattered across the counter, covered in teeth marks and the same grey goop that Laszlo had on him. Idly, Guillermo sweeps the bottles into the sink to deal with later.
The kettle whistles, the microwave beeps, he adds the hot water to his mug of noodles and dried flavouring, and off he goes, carefully balancing two boiling mugs of food.
Truthfully, he had expected Laszlo to have run away before he got there. So to see him in the room that Guillermo had specified—if not sitting down—was a win that Guillermo was going to take. He clears his throat.
“Laszlo.” Laszlo looks vaguely murderous, but it’s only a 6 on Guillermo’s Murderous Look Scale (patent pending) so he sets the two mugs down on the coffee table. “Come sit and eat with me.”
“Don’t tell me what to do.” Laszlo stalks towards the coffee table, snatching the mug of blood off the table before flopping dramatically down onto the floor, somehow managing not to spill a drop of blood. Guillermo hums, neither an agreement nor disagreement, just an acknowledgement. Laszlo drains the mug in two swift swallows, crinkling his nose at the taste. Already though, his colour is better, less gray and more his normal skin tone.
Guillermo sips at the broth, staring impassively at Laszlo.
“You clearly have something to say boy, so spit it out.”
“You’ve been doing a good job taking care of Colin Robinson.” Laszlo cocks his head, looking up at Guillermo a quizzical look on his face. “I know you were upset when he died, it must be nice to be able to see him again.” Guillermo takes a sip of the broth in his mug. “I helped take care of my younger sister when she was a baby. It was hard though, when she would cry and cry and nothing I did helped her. She grew out of it, thankfully, but my mom and I had a tough go of it for a while.” Guillermo sighs. “Laszlo, one thing I learned was that if I was going to take care of my sister properly, I also had to take care of myself. I needed time to myself, time to rest and to eat.”
Laszlo stares at him from across the coffee table, dark eyes boring into Guillermo. There’s a long moment where Guillermo almost thinks he’s going to say something, but he remains stubbornly silent.
“I can’t make you accept my help, but for the record you should. Take the rest of the day to get some rest. I’ll take care of Colin Robinson.”
“You’d give up going after Nandor to help me. Why?”
The words cause a painful twinge in Guillermo’s heart.
“As much as you all don’t consider us to be, we are a family. I stick by my family when they need help. Nandor…” Guillermo trails off. “Both you and I will be talking to him about what happened.” Laszlo shifts in his seat, is that a hint of guilt Guillermo can read in his face?
“You’d better not harsh the vibe around these here parts. Got it Gizmo?”
Guillermo hums, before finishing the dregs of his instant ramen.
“Fine. I’m going to check on Colin Robinson, do you need anything?”
“Can I borrow some clothes… please?” The last word looks almost painful for Laszlo. “Mine are covered in baby goop.”
“We may need to get you an easier to clean wardrobe. Dry-clean only clothing and baby are a non-ideal combo. I suppose none of Nandor’s clothes fit you?”
“No they most certainly do not.”
“I guess you can borrow some of mine then. Come on.” Guillermo turns and walks out of the library not waiting to see if Laszlo follows. He walks up the stairs, careful to avoid the creaky stair (for obvious baby-related reasons) and into his room. Rummaging around in his drawers, he grabs the first hoodie he finds and a baggy pair of sweatpants.
“Here, you can borrow these.” He turns to hold out the clothes to Laszlo, who (miracle of miracles) is actually standing behind him.
Laszlo takes them gingerly, with a muttered “Thank you.”
Laszlo in that moment, looks small and tired. Diminished from his normally boisterous self. Guillermo steps closer and puts a hand on Laszlo’s shoulder, hoping that it brings him some measure of comfort. The gesture is so painfully human that Guillermo thinks Laszlo is going to scoff, brush it off, but he just stands there quietly under the weight of Guillermo’s hand.
“I want to help you Laszlo, all you have to do is ask.” Guillermo breaks the spell of the moment by dropping his hand and moving past Laszlo to the door. “Go get some rest. I’ll be with Colin Robinson if you need me.”