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He feels cold even if it's warm in his bed. It's like he's freezing and drowning at the same time as he shifts around uncomfortably.
There is no sun to be seen anywhere. No clouds nor rays of light. Only darkness and blurs.
"You are a failure, Dib Membrane"
He shifts again, and again and again until he's running out of strength. Muscles tiring themselves out as his hurting heart starts to race.
"Why do you live? You are nothing but useless to this world"
More unfamiliar voices join in the humiliation and hurtful words. He's surrounded by so many that he can't fight back, he can only stand there frozen in place while being forced to hear them.
"Hasn't your father told you already? He doesn't love you nor need you, so I ask again, why do you live?
A sharp pain hits him in the heart, and it's what makes him return to reality.
"AHH!!
Dib wakes up in a cold sweat, wide-eyed as he looks around the room to make sure he's still in his house.
A shaking sigh escapes his mouth as he slowly gets out of bed, slipping on his socks before walking out of the room.
Dib can't help but place his hand on his chest to make sure if his heart is still beating in there. He heads to the kitchen and grabs a glass of water.
But just when he's about to drink it-
"Why don't you go drown yourself?
The glass cup is now shattered on the floor as Dib's eyes go bloodshot. It's dark as he starts to see blurs everywhere. He clutches at his head and grips his hair roughly.
"What do I do what do I do what do I do!?
Dib doesn't even realize how hard he's pulling at his hair, he doesn't even feel the pain anymore as he feels his legs go weak, eyes no longer bloodshot as his heart skips a beat.
"Am I...dead...?
For a moment, everything is pure silence and peace for once. Dib isn't sure what's really going on anymore but he feels like he's in some sort of heaven. It's like he's dead and in peace but he can still feel reality tugging at his heart.
Suddenly, he feels the weight of his father's hands on his shoulders. And he knows it's his father because Gaz isn't here right now, and Dib is thankful that their mother took her on vacation with her because he certainly wouldn't want her to go through this with him.
He's gently pushed down to the floor to be on his knees when his father finally speaks, his hands not leaving his shoulders as he removes one to only remove Dib's hands from his hair.
"No, you are not dead son, and I don't plan on letting you go anytime soon.
And there it is, those words are enough for Dib to know that he's loved. His father always makes sure to take care of him everyday, even leaving his experiments aside just to help him through his therapy sessions and healing process.
Even though Dib doesn't think he deserves it, Membrane always reminds him that he indeed does. He doesn't even remember the day Dib started to act stranger than usual, and by the time he found out why...
It was almost too late.
He had found the boy with a razor blade in his room and stopped him from hurting himself just in time. Things would have been worse if he hadn't caught him that day.
And Membrane can't seem to understand why his son thinks he isn't capable of doing such things like him or why he doubts himself. He's intelligent, capable, and most importantly, special.
Dib's eyes focus on his father's arms, making sure it's him as he replies with a stutter.
"D-dad...? Is it...y-you?
Dib feels his father place a chaste kiss on his forehead, the man nods before gently brushing some of the hair out of his face.
"Yes son, it's me. I see you had another nightmare?
Dib just nods, not wanting to talk about it. But they don't have to, Membrane already knows what his dreams are about as he slides Dib's awfully sweated hair back.
Membrane frowns deeply but turns it into a small smile for his son. The last thing he wants is for Dib to think that he's in the same state as him when he isn't, because that would only make Dib try to take care of him instead of himself. He carresees his cheek gently with his thumb and he's glad that he took off his metal arms tonight.
"Would you like to sleep with me tonight?
Dib quickly nods, starting to shake lightly as Membrane pats his shoulder in reassurance when he realizes that Dib's eyes are full of fear when he looks at the broken glass shards on the floor.
"Don't worry about it, I'll clean it up. Stay here until I finish and don't move ok?
Again, Dib nods weakly than ever as Membrane gets to work, he doesn't really need the kitchen lights to see since his googles have a green lighting feature. It only takes him about 5 minutes to thoroughly clean up the broken glass shards on the floor as he throws them into the garbage can by the fridge.
He sets the broom aside and walks back to Dib, kneeling down to check on him for any cuts the shards may have caused as he gently brushes another streak of hair away.
"Do you feel any pain on your body?
Its no surprise when the boy shakes his head in response, Membrane rubs his shoulder in attempt to give him some comfort. It works as Dib stops shaking a bit.
"No aching or stinging? No burning?
Again, he shakes his head. Membrane sighs in relief as he smiles weakly, glad that he didn't hurt himself while he was absent.
"Alright then, do you still want some water before we head to my room?
Dib nods and actually answers with words this time.
"Y-yes...
Membrane looks at him with a surprised expression that quickly turns into a proud one as he gives him a gentle hug.
"That's one step closer to recovery.
One step...closer.
It's something Dib smiles to weakly. Knowing that he's going down the right road as he hugs his father back before pulling away when a noise emerges from outside.
"I'll grab you that glass of water now.
Dib manages to sit down at the table as his father fills up a glass with warm water, handing it to him with a small smile.
"Here you go, make sure to drink it slowly.
Dib grabs the cup and carefully places it to his lips before slowly drinking it down. A weak smile curves on his lips as he's about to jump off the chair when his father stops him by wrapping his arms around him.
"No need to walk around in the dark, I'll simply carry you to my room instead.
Dib quickly melts into his father's heavenly hold, sighing heavily with slight relief as he rests his head by his chest. When they arrive to his father's room Membrane gently and carefully lays him down on his bed.
"I'll be right back.
Dib grabs his wrist and pulls him back.
"D-dont l-leave m-me...
Membrane frowns deeply as he gently removes Dib's hand from his wrist. The boy tries to grab him again but fails miserably as his expression turns to one of pure fear.
"I am only going to close the door, I'm not leaving you.
"p-please...
He begs in his head because his throat is suddenly dry, he feels the air in his lungs get stuck in his body as he gasps sharply.
The moment he hears his father close the door is the moment he starts to panic again, fingers digging into his scalp as he completely ignores the pain.
"D-Dad...agh...
"Geez, you can't be left alone can you?
"N-no...s-stop it, p-please...
Membrane is able to catch the low voiced words by Dib as he turns on the lights, only to see what he didn't want to see again.
Dib is still digging his nails into his scalp as he shakes his head roughly, he doesn't even notice that the room is illuminated as he feels his heart pound hard in his chest.
"Your dad doesn't love you, he's tired of taking care of you, you're a bother to him.
Dib tries to get rid of the voice by shaking his head harder, and tears form in his eyes when they land on his father.
"D-Dad!
Membrane wastes no time in hugging him tightly. Dib doesn't hug back immediately until his father speaks to him.
"Do not listen to those voices, son, listen to me.
Dib's eyes fill with hot tears as he hugs his father back, nodding into his chest as Membrane holds him close.
"Whatever those awful voices told you isn't true. I don't know what they told you exactly but-
"They s-said t-that y-you d-didn't l-love m-me...
The older man holds him closer to his chest before rubbing soothing motions on his back, one hand making it's way up to Dib's head to run his fingers through his hair softly. He feels something wet, but it doesn't feel like sweat as he continues to stroke his hair anyways.
"That is not true, son, I love you with all of my heart and I wouldn't get tired of taking care of you ever. You are my son, and my job is to love and take care of you until God picks me up. So don't listen to those voices alright? They are not real.
Dib chokes out a sob as he hides his face in his father's chest. And then, the only voice he hears is the one of his father.
"Two steps...closer.
Membrane decides to take his fingers out of Dib's hair to see what's really on them, and when he does...he regrets even closing the door.
There's a fair amount of blood on his fingers as he slowly pulls away from the hug, looking at Dib with a concerned expression as the boy looks at him with confusion on his face.
"D-Dad...? W-what's-
Before Dib can even complete his sentence he's already being carried back to the kitchen by his father, he once again melts into his hold.
"I'm going to wash your hair a little, to refresh it is all.
Membrane hopes for Dib to believe his white lie, and he's thankful when the boy nods, a weak smile on his face as he places him on a chair by the sink.
"Now tilt your head backwards, please.
Dib obligues, tilting his head back as Membrane is able to hold him with one arm while he uses the other to turn on the faucet. Water starts running through and down Dib's hair as his father's fingers gently scrub at his scalp.
Dib hisses.
"D-Dad...d-did I...
There's really no use in hiding it from him. Membrane frowns and sighs calmly but heavily as he nods.
"Yes Dib, you hurt yourself again when I was closing the door.
Dib looks disappointed in himself as Membrane finishes washing his hair. After that, he puts the chair back in it's place and lifts Dib up, letting the boy wrap his legs around his waist as he grabs a towel to wrap around his head.
"Dib, please look at me.
Dib looks away, a sob threatening to escape his mouth as Membrane cups his cheek and gently tilts it to the side to look at him.
Dib's eyes are full of hurt and disappointment, it hurts Membrane's heart as he runs his thumb across his skin with gentleness.
"I am not disappointed in you, and you shouldn't be disappointed in yourself either.
"B-but I...I hurt myself again, even after-
"You're doing your best, son. That's what really matters, no matter how many times you hurt yourself I'll be there to help you overcome it. And I'll tie those arms behind your back if it happens again!
Membrane chuckles lightly when he finishes the sentence and so does Dib when he realizes the small and light joke his father made. Hissing again, Dib places his hand on his head.
"I d-dont think that'll be necessary anymore...I d-dont think I'll be d-doing this again soon.
A weak smile curves on Membrane's lips as he nods.
"That's yet another step closer to recovery, you're doing great son, I'm proud of you for realizing that hurting yourself isn't going to help your healing process. Now, let's go to bed shall we?
"Another step...closer.
Dib nods, unable to hold back a smile as it takes over his face. When they arrive, Membrane closes the door first instead of placing Dib on the bed first, not wanting to commit his mistake twice.
After that, they finally get into bed. Membrane let's Dib settle himself on the mattress before the boy looks at him with child-like eyes.
"D-Dad...?
"Yes Dib?
Dib smiles weakly, looking away as he scratches his arm awkwardly. Membrane realizes that he isn't hurting himself at all, it only looks like he's gently scratching his arm as he smiles at the image Infront of him.
"Can we...t-this is g-going to be embarrassing to ask y-you b-but-
"Nonsense, I'm sure that whatever you have in mind is sure to be acknowledgeable.
Dib looks at his father with wide eyes before smiling at him sweetly, Membrane returns the smile without thinking about it as Dib sighs.
"Could we...cuddle? Just for tonight?
"Cuddle? Why of course we can, we can do it any night if you want.
Membrane gets in bed and covers them both up in the soft and fluffy blanket, sitting down and letting Dib sit in his lap as he cups his face with gentleness.
The next thing that happens is soothing for Dib. Membrane places his thumbs on both of his weakly pounding temples as he rests his hands in his own lap as his father starts to massage them.
Dib's eyes fluttered shut at the feeling his father's fingers gave him as he gently massaged his temples with circular motions, he softly whispered into his ear-
"I'll be with you the whole way...
Dib let himself go off into peace for just this moment, little did he know that more of them were to come as he felt Membrane place a gentle kiss on each of his temples before placing a kiss on his forehead, he let their foreheads stick together for a brief moment.
"I love you, son. Don't ever forget it.
Dib smiled and fought back the tears that were starting to form in his eyes as he wrapped his arms around him.
"I love you too, dad. And I won't, I'll never forget it.
They slowly pulled away to lay down next to each other, Membrane remembered that Dib wanted to cuddle, so he turned around and pulled him into his chest. Dib immediately wrapped his arms around his father and snuggled up against his chest, feeling the warmth radiate from his body as a yawn escaped his mouth, Membrane chuckled lightly as he took the towel off his head and placed it aside to pet his still somewhat wet hair.
But it didn't matter if it was still wet or not, the love and warmth that radiated from each other was enough for the both of them as Dib sighed in relief.
"Thank you dad, I feel so much better.
Membrane noticed that he didn't stutter, and nestled his fingers into his hair as he smiled proudly.
"Your welcome. And remember, I'm always here for you. And I am not leaving anytime soon.
Dib snuggled in closer as Membrane ran his fingers through his hair softly. The feeling making him feel sleepier by the seconds.
"I'm here for you too, Dad...I love you so much...
Another yawn emerged from his mouth as Membrane pressed a kiss on the top of his head before closing his eyes, not after making sure that Dib had closed his own.
"I love you a bunch too, son. Goodnight and sweet dreams.
Dib fell asleep before he could reply, but the smile on his face was enough to let his father know that everything was going to be ok as he eventually fell asleep himself as peace took over the room.
One day, everything was going to be ok.
And no matter how long it took, Membrane was going to be with him the whole way.
End.