Chapter Text
Ava could not believe it they were standing in Mall, Deborah looking at her expectantly. ‘Yes, a Mall Ava, you need some more clothes…it is our day off. I thought it would be…fun.’ She rolls her tongue around the word fun and Ava looks at her confused. Huffing, she started to walk away from the girl and towards a shop. Ava quickly had to run to keep up. ‘Come on!’ Deborah barked back at her. She hurried until she was walking alongside her.
‘Why did we leave Damien back at the bus?’ Ava asked, confused by this whole situation.
Deborah sighs, ‘Do you always need to ask so many damned questions? I had them go and find the site for tonight, we will have to get a car over to them when we are finished, uber or whatever.’ Deborah waves her hand in the air to indicate she did not care about the details at this moment, she was too invested in trying to find Ava some new clothes, she had been wearing the same few outfits since they had been on tour, washed and rotated for weeks, it had started to annoy Deborah, so their first proper full day and night off, she had Phil pull into the nearest shopping Mall to where they were staying that night, waiting for the new tour manager to come and meet them, something Ava wasn’t aware was happening.
‘But I only have my stupid flip phone Deb.’ Ava curses.
‘You will have to use mine then, now shut up and get shopping. You need some more clothes; I cannot stand looking at you in the same thing every day.’ She laughs. They have walked into a women’s clothes shop, racks and rails of items everywhere, bright lights and lots of people. It was making Ava uncomfortable, but she started flicking through some items on a circular rail when she heard Deborah gasp as she pulled out a dress from the other side ‘See, ah, this wouldn’t fit me, but this would fit…’ she held it up looking at Ava.
‘Not really my style Deb.’ Ava scrunches her nose up unsure.
‘Perfect, you’re trying it on…lets see what else we can find.’ She presses the dress into Ava’s arms, she wouldn’t have any choice in this matter, she was trying the dress on. Deborah continued to look around the store. Picking out a few other items, Ava also grabbing a couple of tops and t-shirts to at least get something she will actually wear.
Finally, they hit the fitting rooms, Deborah waiting around outside, ‘Come on!’ Ava meanwhile is standing the other side of the fitting room door, unsure about the dress, but also unsure about showing Deborah, this was weird right? Her boss dressing her…or was this friend Deborah finally thawing after the email or was it something else? Ava sighed. Swinging the door open. Not looking very happy or impressed.
‘Finally! A Woman!’ Deborah exclaimed happily in a slight sarcastic tone.
Ava groaned, ‘You’ve gotta hire an HR person.’ Rolling her eyes. Deborah ignores her in the typical Deborah Vance way of ignoring the things she does not want to hear and just continues anyway.
‘We’ll get it…and any of the other stuff you need.’ She gestures to the fitting room pilled with stuff. She goes to walk away bored of the whole thing now. When Ava calls after her.
‘Hang on lady, if I am having to get this…I assume to wear to somewhere…you must get a new outfit too.’ Ava’s eyes light up with glee at the thought of her own devious plan. Deborah comes to a halt and swings back to look at the younger women. ‘I mean it…I found the perfect outfit for you out there…trust me!’ Ava winces, too soon, far too soon Daniels she thinks to herself, Deborah Vance may never trust you again you fool after your betrayal. Deborah nods her eyes narrowing.
‘Ok I’ll bite. What, what did you find?’ Deborah is staring at Ava. Unable to look away from the young women in the dress she picked out, a slight flush had travelled up her neck and she felt warm suddenly.
‘A tux!’ Ava grins in delight in her own game. ‘I know it is not a kaftan or sparkly suit, but I think you’d look hot Deb!’ Deborah flushes more and looks away.
‘No way Ava…I don’t do the, whatever look you do.’ She shook her head.
‘Come on, if I am having to wear this, you at least must try the damned Tux on…you could pair it with an open white shirt, make it more casual looking…I think it would look good.’ Ava is blushing slightly at her own admission and is now moving back and forth on the balls of her feet nervously.
‘Alright grab the fucking tux.’
Ava almost squeals in delight and quickly starts getting out of the dress, so she could go back to the shop floor and grab the outfit she had seen.
‘Close the door you exhibitionist!’ Deborah sighed and walked away. Her breathing shaky.
A few minutes later the tables were turned, Ava now outside waiting for Deborah to emerge from the fitting room. Deborah stood looking into the fitting room mirror, she had not really seen herself look like this before. She was standing in a navy tux, shirt buttons undone, she ran her hand through her hair. She hears words through the door that bring her out of her trance.
‘Vance come on! I am getting hungry! I want food after here.’ Ava is pacing around outside. Fidgeting with the pile of clothes she is holding, a pair of pants, some t-shirts and the dress! She is looking at the dress on top of the pile, still confused as to why she would need such a nice dress for the tour bus.
‘Fine!’ Deborah snaps. She unlocks the fitting room door and swings it open and pulls a pose, wanting to break the tension. Ava giggles and she is not sure why, but she cannot stop herself from breaking out into a massive grin.
‘Oh Deb, you look stunning.’ She finally stutters out. There it is again, that word, stunning. Deborah Vance is, was and always will be stunning in Ava’s eyes. Deborah swallows and smiles back. Cheeks flushing a crimson colour.
‘Don’t be stupid!’ Deborah laughs. She goes to turn back into the fitting room, to get back into her own signature look, when Ava starts again.
‘I’m not, I mean it. You buy the tux…get the dress, but we need to show them off?’ Deborah raises a brow at the little shit smiling at her, what does this girl want?
‘Ok tonight, there is a restaurant in town, a nice one…I know the owners, I will take you for dinner, we can wear the new clothes? You would never get in, in your own tat!’ she snarls, then softens into a smile.
‘Deal!’ Ava beams. ‘I will wear the dress and you…you will wear that you promise?’ She continued to bargain.
‘Promise.’ Deborah nods.
‘Now can you take it off? I’m starving!’ Ava blushes again at her own words, realising how flirty that sounded, but she had not meant it to sound that way. Deborah was delighted at how red she had made Ava look, but why did she care so much, that she had this reaction out of her?
After finishing off some more shopping mostly for Deborah and persuading Deborah to eat some junk food for lunch, she had decided it was best to get back to the bus. Ava was laden with bags of shopping, of course she was carrying everything. She was walking behind Deborah trying to keep up, they were heading to the carpark.
Using Deborah’s phone, she sorted an uber and they had now arrived back at the campsite. Deborah had got out the car, leaving Ava to wrestle the bags out of the trunk. ‘THANKS!’ she called to the driver as she shut the trunk and indicated to him, he could leave.
‘Hurry up!’ Deborah called
‘I have a few bags here…you could take one.’ she was already out of breath.
‘I’m good.’ Deborah scoffs and walks to where the bus has parked up for the night. ‘Oh, good I think they are here.’ She exclaims hearing voices as she rounds the side of the bus, and she can hear laughter and talking from inside.
‘Who is?’ Ava asked unsure what was happening, ‘Deb, who is here?’ Ava is calling after her, as she sees her disappear and the words tumble out of Deborah’s’ mouth,
‘The new tour manager.’
So that is why we want shopping Ava thinks to herself, the whole tour manager thing had been a sore subject after the way Weed behaved.
As Ava stepped up onto the bus lugging all the shopping up the steps, she gasped, ‘Marcus!?’ she looked at the three of them shocked. ‘Why didn’t you tell me D?’
Deborah huffed annoyed; she did not have to tell her anything. It was her tour.
‘I can do what I like Ava with my own tour. Now I am sure you two can get on for now!’ She glances at Marcus who is sitting down with Damien, on the side seats.
‘Marcus…’
‘I can try.’ He deadpans, not looking at Ava.
‘Are we still going out tonight?’ Ava asks, concerned the new arrival might change their plans.
‘I promised didn’t I, Deborah Vance doesn’t break promises.’ Ava smiled at this. Before looking down at Marcus. ‘I know we won’t ever be the best of friends, but I would like us to get on.’
‘Whatever, I am here for Deb and make sure you don’t fuck up again.’ Ava looks hurt at this and inhales sadly.
‘That’s enough, Marcus is here to do a job, just like you, we will all get on fine.’
Ava starts to walk down the length of the bus, so she can dump the bags down, they were starting to feel heavy in her hands. When she noticed a bag on her bunk.
‘Deb what’s going on? Why is there a bag here…where am I sleeping? Not upright like Weed? I can’t sleep in a chair Deborah!’ she had dropped the bags down now looking around realising that the bunks had moved around and changed.
‘Well Marcus needed a bed…Damien will take yours, as he is smaller, and Marcus will have his.’ Deborah explains. ‘There are not many other options…’ Deborah is looking at Ava, she looks pathetic right now, sad and rejected.
‘Deb please?’ She is almost crying, and she is not sure why, she feels so stupid, after the day they just had, which yes was awkward at times, was fun and then being promised dinner in fancy restaurant how could she expect her to sleep sitting in a fucking chair she thought to herself.
Deborah felt uncomfortable looking at her, she was planning on punishing her for a bit longer for the email situation, but she couldn’t put the girl through any more torment.
‘There is plenty of room in my master bedroom.’ She hears herself say. Then bites her tongue for a moment waiting for a response.
Marcus stands up, ‘Deborah, you don’t have to do that. Ava will be fine out here with us.’ He has folded his arms, annoyed at Ava’s display of emotions. How dare she? After everything she had put them all through, but he is silenced with a glare.
‘Ava?’ Deborah gently says.
‘Thank you, I’ll bunk in with you, if you are sure, it’s ok?’ Ava tilts her head to one side.
‘It is…now move all that stuff into my room, we can’t have it cluttering up the bus…’yeah sure she was fine when it was furniture in front of her bunk, but now a few bags were a problem, Ava shook her head and grabbed them again moving into the end room.
‘Don’t want to hear it, Marcus. I am glad you are here…now you boys enjoy the night off… go out have some fun…take Phil…just enjoy it.’
Ava appears at the doorway of Deborah’s room, their room, ‘I’ll go and use the showers and get ready to go out.’
‘Good. I’ll do the same, but I’m using the shower on here.’
‘We might grab a drink here first and sit on those picnic tables out there, give you some privacy…come on Phil.’ Phil had been dosing in the driver’s chair. Looked up and nodded. Marcus grabbed some beers from the fridge and ushered the men off the bus. Ava had grabbed her towel and a bag with the dress in, some make up (that Deborah had made her buy) and a toothbrush.
‘Be back in a bit.’ She smiled, leaving the bus and leaving the other women to get ready.
45 mins later they were both dressed and ready to head out. Ava was walking back the bus when she spotted the men sat outside. ‘Hi.’
Marcus looked up at her, shocked to see here in a dress. ‘Hi, you look…different.’ Ava nodded in agreement.
‘Debs idea…does it look ok?’ she is suddenly unsure of herself. ‘Yeah, actually it does.’ He says surprised at himself.
‘You look good girl.’ Damien smiles.
Phil just nods, not saying much, he was a man of very few words.
Ava thanked them, and then hopped up onto the bus. She took the final step up, just as Deborah was leaving the room, to see where Ava had gotten to. Ava stopped dead; Deborah too stopped. They looked at each other from opposite ends of then bus. Ava had some soft curls, a woman in the showers had a hair curler, she had asked to borrow, she was wearing make-up that made her face look pretty. Deborah’s breath caught in her throat. Not expecting to see Ava standing their looking so nice.
‘Wow Deb you look hot!’ Ava garbles out, like marbles in her mouth, she struggled to speak. ‘Like beautiful. That on you is truly stunning…paired with those heels at that make-up.’ Ava is looking at her adoringly and it makes Deborah genuinely feel special, feel seen. It was not fake or insincere it was real what Ava was saying.
‘Thank you, you too look…’ can she say it, can she let herself say what she is thinking. ‘You look beautiful.’
‘A compliment, thank you my fair lady.’ Ava tips an imaginary top hat at her and laughs.
‘Oh, shut up!’ Deborah’s laughing now too. Normally she would have sighed at Ava’s immature behaviour, but tonight she found it sweet.
‘I need to ask Marcus to sort something and then we can leave.’ Deborah walks down towards Ava, and they brush past each other as Ava heads to the room to put away her belongings. As they touch for a second Ava grins and Deborah flushes again, the crimson creeping up her neck to her face this time. Her tux is fitted and is exenterating all the right curves, the shirt open as Ava suggested, but she still looks smart, and Ava thinks she looks stunning, that was all she needed to hear to feel confident. Ava cannot help but to look at her curves and it makes her nervous, but Ava was quick dropping her stuff back in the room and they stepped off the bus together Deborah first, then Ava.
Marcus stood suddenly as he saw them.
‘Deb…’ his eyes are wide.
Damien cuts in, trying to make the situation less awkward. ‘You look great… you both do. Don’t they Marcus?’ he prods.
‘Deb are you sure?’ Marcus stutters out, ‘Where are you going?’ he’s worried about TMZ or other press snapping the two together. He looked at them both up and down, if he did not know better, they looked like they were stepping out on a date and after the lesbian cruise disaster, this is not what they need right now ‘You do both look fantastic though.’ He adds, he can see how annoyed Deborah looks, but weirdly how upset Ava looks.
‘Thank you, Marcus, I want your help with that one, need you to call ahead.’ She looks at Ava and goes up to Marcus, gesturing for him to sit back down. She whispers in his ear the name of the restaurant and his eyes widen once more. Fuck. This is a date Deborah Vance, you sly fox or is it he wasn’t sure.
‘Ok Deb we’ll sort it and a car…’
‘Thanks, Ava come on, we can walk to the entrance. The car can meet us there. Now boys don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.’
Damien takes out his phone to sort the car, whilst Marcus worked his magic on the restaurant.
They walked in silence for a moment towards the entrance of the campsite.
‘You do look amazing tonight D…’ Ava spoke quietly.
‘I know I do!’ she laughed, and Ava relaxed a little. They chatted for a bit and then when they arrived a car was waiting for them.
It took 20 minutes to get to the restaurant and both had sat staring out the window, taking in the city they were in. Their hands both resting on the seat between them, Ava could have sworn that Debora’s finger had brushed against her own for a moment, before she had quickly pulled it away from Ava’s massive hands.
‘Deb, this place is…wow…’ they were being seated at the best table in the restaurant with amazing views of the city, ‘I can’t believe how nice it is…how did we get a table so short notice?’
‘I told you, I’m good friends with the owner, and I am Deborah fucking Vance.’ She said leaning in and winking. A waiter appeared ready to help.
‘Any drinks Miss Vance?’ he asked politely,
‘A bottle of champagne.’ She smiles at Ava. He dutifully goes away to arrange the drinks and Ava picks up the menu.
‘Are we celebrating something?’ she asks coyly.
‘No, I don’t think so…but this is my treat, we can do their tasting menu?’ she asks. ‘It is some of the best food in the city, I want you to experience all of it.’ She grins.
‘Ok sounds good.’ Ava dips her head and drops the menu down.
‘Thank you for bringing me here.’
‘We have not even tried any food yet…’ Deborah deadpans. ‘It’s alright…I promised somewhere for you to show off that dress, think this is a good spot to do that in?’
‘Well, you also needed to show off that flamin’ hot tux look of yours Deb…’ she winks at her playfully and Deborah laughs again. This is how it goes all evening, flirting, insults, laughter, drinking and some of the best food Ava has ever eaten, she had asked them to bring all the desserts and the restaurant had happily obliged, bringing two folks for them to share.
‘Please Deb, try this one…this chocolate torte…I think it is better than sex. Good sex.’ She jokes.
‘…and I thought you were some kind of master?’
Without missing a beat, ‘oh, I am, but this…is other worldly.’ Ava lifts the fork up towards Deborah, she laughs and leans over the table pushing the fork towards the other women, Deborah took the bite off the fork and allowed the dark chocolate torte to melt into her mouth, Deborah involutory moaned at this and Ava felt herself throbbing with want. Swallowing down her feelings, she watched Deborah.
‘So?’ she waited expectantly.
‘Ok, you got me, that is better than sex, better than sex with Marty for sure…’ she laughed at this and Ava joins in. ‘Stop that, now give that here.’ She picked up the plate and takes it from Ava. ‘If you want more, order another one.’
Bill paid and all the desserts consumed, by them both, not just Ava. Deborah spoke suddenly as they reached the doors to leave, she did not want the night to end.
‘I know a few bars around here, nothing like here…some dives to be honest, but…we could get a night cap before heading back?’ she asked hopefully.
‘Yeah sure, sounds good D. Aren’t we a bit overdressed though?’ Ava looked down at her dress, and kicked her feet together nervously.
Deborah could suggest nice bars to go to, they are in a nice part of the city, but she knows of some more relaxed places near here and she wants to be able to relax in Ava’s company.
‘Who fucking cares?! We look hot don’t we?’ Deborah is staring at Ava. She had not said that before about her, she had said she looked beautiful, but she was using Ava’s own words against her. Ava nodded in agreement.
‘Lead the way.’ Ava smiled.
After what felt like an age, Deborah dragged Ava into a bar, the door man had known her. Greeting her as Ms Vance as soon as he saw her. She he kissed him on the cheek, and he showed them in.
A few white wines later. Ava stopped laughing and looked seriously at Deborah across the bar table booth they were sat in.
‘I need to ask you something?’
‘Oh not this again, every time you say that we have a deep meaningful bloody conversation.’ She scoffed. ‘What is it with young people these days?’ she mocks again.
‘I’m serious, I need to get this off my chest, or I don’t know how this is going to work?’
‘What work?’
‘Us?’
‘Us?’
Deborah rolled her eyes and raised her hand. ‘Go ahead…’
‘The cruise.’
Deborah whines, ‘why bring that up now?’
‘Because we have had a good evening.’
‘and you want to ruin it?’
‘I did not ruin anything Deb…you got us kicked off the lesbian Cruise.’ Ava scolds.
‘Ssssh.’ Deborah looks around worried about who might hear.
‘Look, I wanted to say it hurt…your words…the way you behaved…as a queer person it really fucking hurt and I don’t think you realised that…that the things you said, hurt me too?’
Deborah opened her mouth and closed it again, no words coming out. She tried again and still nothing.
‘I know I hurt you personally.’ Ava starts again, ‘but I apologised… and I want to make it up to you, but I don’t think you understand how what you did affected me too?’
‘You didn’t say…I didn’t know.’ She shrugs.
‘I was high on molly; I had no idea what I was doing on that bloody dinghy.’
‘I know, those dance moves.’ Deborah cringes at the memory and laughs softly, it is different than before, feels more forced.
‘It’s not funny…Deb…I need you to understand.’ Ava pleaded sadly.
Deborah looked away ashamed.
‘I never meant to do that…I am sorry about us being kicked off and my behaviour. I wouldn’t intentionally hurt you about your sexuality. I know I joke about it a lot.’ She sighed at this and ran her hand through her hair. ‘It’s how I deal I suppose.’
Ava’s eyes shot up; she had been looking down at her hands playing with them worryingly.
‘Deb…you never answered my question? When we were on the cruise.’
‘What question?’ Deborah, tried to act like she didn’t know where this was going. Hoping Ava would stop.
‘Women, have you ever thought about being with women? Because right now, it’s the only reason I can think of for you to have acted so weirdly about the cruise. Because I know you are not homophobic.’
Deborah flopped down in her seat, ‘Maybe.’ Why did she have to do this now? ‘Perhaps. I don’t know…I grew up in a different time…things were different. But the answer is probably yes.’
‘Why didn’t you just say? We could have avoided all of this…I could have helped you navigate the cruise, make sure none of this happened…instead, you lashed out horribly.’ Ava snapped, before continuing. ‘Thank you for being honest with me. I know that must be hard to admit though.’
‘I don’t want to get into this now Ava.’ Deborah looks at her softly, almost a tear in her eye.
‘Ok, ok. Back to drinking, back to just hanging out. I just needed you to know, now you do and know I do…so it’s ok for now.’ She reached her hand out over the table and took a hold of Deborah’s. ‘You know women would love you.’ She sneakily added. Grinning at her cheekily.
‘You little shit. One more glass of wine and we’ll head back.’
That is what they did, they sunk another glass and rather tipsily headed back to the bus. Getting out the uber, Deborah observed the bus was dark. The guys had not returned yet. They were laughing arm in arm, trying to keep each other up, as Ave fumbled to unlock and get onto the bus.
‘Home alone.’ She yawned, ‘I’m tired, it’s been a long day.’
‘Agreed. Let’s get ready for bed.’
They both entered the bedroom, both suddenly noticing the tension and awkwardness. ‘I’ll get into my night stuff, can you unzip me please?’ Ava requested. Moving towards Deborah, sweeping her hair up into her hands, so Deborah could reach the zip and let the dress fall.
‘Thanks.’ She walked to the corner of the room, grabbing at her stuff in her bag, trying to find a top to sleep in. She was in her underwear and Deborah was watching her move. Her back to Deborah, she looked over her shoulder at her quickly, she clocked Deborah looking. Deborah shyly turned.
‘It’s ok…I mean…it’s ok you can look…I don’t mind…’ Ava reassured.
‘Ava this is inappropriate.’
‘I am not saying anything is going to happen, I am saying you can look. Have you really looked at woman before?’ Ava turned to face her still only in bra and pants.
‘Get dressed Ava.’ Ava nodded and turned around, grabbing a T-shirt she flung it on. ‘I’ll brush my teeth let you get changed on your own.’
Ava left Deborah in the room alone, she was not sure what just happened. It felt nice though, being watched by Deborah. Whilst Ava got herself ready for sleep. Deborah quickly changed out of the tux, hanging it up and put on her signature flamboyant night wear and started to rub away the make up she was wearing.
She had been muttering to herself when she felt another presence in the room. ‘I know this might seem a bit odd’ Ava started. ‘Can we get into bed and like have a cuddle, could you hold me?’ Ava sounds small, but needy and Deborah turned to face her.
‘I don’t know Ava…’
‘Nothing will happen tonight, it’s not about that. I just feel like I need to be close to you.’ She blushed at this, and it makes Deborah’s stomach flutter.
‘Ok.’
Deborah got ready for bed and now back in the room, was settling down in the bed next to Ava, good job they already had their sides of the bed. No arguing over that at least. Deborah moved closer and Ava felt her body touch hers. ‘Like this?’ Ava swallowed, leaning down to place her head on Deborah’s chest. Deborah’s arms came up and around the younger women and they kind of slotted together perfectly, it felt natural, normal.
‘How drunk are we?’ Deborah laughed to break the tension.
‘Very.’ Ava also giggling at this. ‘Feels nice though, I can hear your heartbeat, its racing. Is that what I do to you?’
‘Cheeky shit.’
They stay like this, light on, but now asleep. The boys now back, Marcus is surprised to see Deborah’s light still on, its’ streaming out from under her doorway. He thinks about it for a minute and decides he should pop his head around check the women are ok, make sure they have not killed each other or worse and tell them to get some sleep, they do have work tomorrow.
Damien and Phil have sat down at the far end of the bus near the driver’s area, and they are chatting between themselves. Marcus walks up to Deborah’s door and lightly knocks, there is no answer. He is also slightly drunk from his night out and without thinking he slowly opens the door.
‘Deb?’ he quietly starts to say but stops when he sees the two women holding each other in their sleep. His eyes bug out of his head. Its’ worse he thinks. Deborah sleepily opens her eyes, catching Marcus in the doorway, she somehow manages not to jump or to disturb Ava and she does not even let go of her. She just stares at Marcus dead in the eye.
He gestures to the light and Deborah gently leans to her side and flicks the switch. Marcus closes the door quietly and steps back. This is a conversation for the morning a very serious conversation he thinks. He goes and joins the other two men; Damien looks at him.
‘Deb alright?’ He slurs a bit.
‘All good, she’s asleep, as should we be.’ He turns away from Damien, how the bloody hell was he going to talk to Deborah about this one? Marcus that night slept terribly.