Chapter Text
“-CANNOT. BE. SERIOUS!” Dr. Robotnik’s voice was loud—and shrill. He wasn’t just angry, or just shocked, but some unholy combination of the two that had him so far beside himself as to be standing in the lab alone shrieking at no one.
Stone took a deep steadying breath outside the door, and then barged in. “What’s the matter, sir?” he said with determined cheer. “Anything I can help with?”
Robotnik whipped around. “You,” he said. Breathing hard. “You. They are disrupting my process, they- they are interfering with my work, they are standing in my way! Because of you!”
“Me?” Of all the forms the doctor’s madness had taken over the past six months, this was a new one.
“Yesssss.” A low, furious hiss. Robotnik held up a paper, something bearing a government seal, a letter, and smacked it for emphasis while he talked. “I received this today, in the mail. A communication from H-E-double-hockeysticks-R.”
He subtracted out the involuntary, childish swearing. “Why would HR be writing to you, sir?”
“Because they don’t like that I shoved you up against the wall after that meeting on Monday. And they don’t want me to do that anymore!” He advanced – and Stone backed away. “They say that that kind of thing is grounds for the restaffing of my department, to eliminate any personality conflicts and dismantle any dysfunctional power structure.” Finally Stone had run out of room; he was trapped against a wall and Robotnik was snarling at him just inches from his face. “Do you understand what that means, Stone? They’re trying to take you from me.”
“No way - that’s crazy,” he assured fast. “You’ve been so productive over the last few months and they love that, there’s no way they’re going to interfere with-”
“It says it right here!” Robotnik slapped the paper against the wall violently, quite close to his head. “Change, or else! Well I can’t change, Stone, I can’t work if I have to spend half my bandwidth being nice to you! You know that! It would sacrifice efficiency for the sake of- of wokeness and I cannot do it!”
Based on the pitch and cadence of the screaming, Stone knew he would be pausing now to regroup.
Sure enough, Robotnik growled at him like an animal, then turned away and started pacing.
That at least gave him room to move. “Sir, look,” he said. “We can fix this. It’s no big deal – really it’s not. Listen: they don’t want to see you throw me into walls anymore, right?” Robotnik spun around but before he could start screaming again, Stone continued. “So we make sure they don’t see it. You want to slam me, you do it in private. And if we’re in front of strangers, you know, and you can’t wait… then just…” he thought fast. “Then I’ll do it. They can’t say anything about that. Right?” Robotnik was frowning like he didn’t understand... but he had stopped shouting, so this seemed to be the right approach and Stone stuck with it. “I mean it. When you want me thrown up against the wall,” he insisted, “Just tell me, and I’ll put me there myself. Okay? And you can tower over and yell to your heart’s content. Okay? It’ll be fine, Doctor. I promise. I’m not going anywhere.”
Robotnik looked… suspicious. And as defensive as Stone had ever seen him. And like he was thinking, hard.
After a long silence he nodded. “All right, Stone,” he said, voice low and shaking and dangerous. “Do it now. Pin yourself to that wall.”
When he did, Robotnik swooped down and loomed over him at a distance of about half an inch. Not physically touching… but if either of them moved so much as a hair he would be. “Look me in the eyes.” The doctor was breathing hard, almost heaving, and finally growled: “Did you. File. A complaint about me.”
Stone’s jaw dropped. “What? No!” Pieces fell into place suddenly. “Oh my god, Doctor, is that what you thought? No. I swear. It wasn’t me. It, it must have been someone who just saw us in the hallway the other day, and-”
“The letter talks about a pattern. Of abusive behaviors. And physical-”
“Then someone’s probably seen you do it more than once,” Stone said over him. “That’s all.”
Robotnik chewed his lip a moment. “Do you think I’m violent with you, Agent?”
He swallowed. Better not to answer that one; the doctor always knew when he lied. “Come on - you’re not that rough,” he dismissed instead. “You’ve never actually injured me and I don’t think you will.”
At that, Robotnik leaned away a little. His jaw was grinding, like he wanted to say something but was too worked up to put it together.
If he was that angry… did he still not believe? Stone ventured a smile. “Doctor, think about it. If I did want to complain, you know there are about a hundred things I could have talked about that are worse than Monday,” he pointed out. He expected Robotnik to smile back.
Weirdly, what Robotnik did instead was to retreat suddenly, spinning away to give his back.
“But regardless, I never have,” Stone added quickly. “It’s really okay.”
The doctor was stiff as a board, and Stone was finally starting to worry. He had told the truth and given corroboration through common sense. What more could he do?
Finally Robotnik said, still with his back turned: “Why?” That was it.
It was hard to talk to him without being able to read his face or voice. “Why what?”
“Why. Why is it okay?” Robotnik clarified. “I’m told Monday was unacceptable. And like you just said, it was the tip of the iceberg. So why do you put up with it?”
By now, half a year in, he was learning to hear the things the doctor didn’t say. Why do you put up with me?
Suddenly this was very, very dangerous territory. He was risking more than a tantrum – this could be a genuine crisis if he didn’t get it under control.
“Because it’s not unacceptable to me.” It wasn’t a lie. “All you’ve ever done is shove me around a little when you get angry, sir. I can take it. Really.”
Robotnik looked away. “Frustrated,” he muttered. “I vent at you when I’m frustrated, not angry. When I actually get angry I send you out of the lab.”
Out of harm’s way, he intuited suddenly.
Now he was feeling touched. About evil, insane, certified nightmare-boss Dr. Robotnik. He needed to have his head examined.
But in the meantime he had other priorities.
“Doctor,” he said. He reached out, took the letter and without looking at it flicked it onto the floor. “Forget them. You are one of a kind.” He took his time, quiet and serious. “So by definition things are different with you – and that’s okay with me. We just need to be a little more careful so you don’t get in trouble. Okay?”
Robotnik was grinding his jaw again. But he nodded.
TBC.
I think I have two more parts I want to write: Stone's compulsory interview with HR - which he did not ask for but they seem determined to impose - and the opening of the joint bank accounts. Let me know what you think so far!