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Tale of Obsidiana

Summary:

The Avatar Kyoshi novels by F. C. Yee inspired this fanfic. So spoiler warnings to those who've not read the books. This takes place after "The Shadow of Kyoshi."

Kyoshi and her girlfriend Rangi are trying to enjoy their anniversary when they unexpectedly encounter an evil plot involving a greedy lord enslaving children. Read to find out more.

Notes:

Big thanks to Kkachi95 for permission to use his incredible artwork for the cover shot for this fanfic.

An Exercise In Happiness

Ask yourself, "What does happiness mean to me?" After you answer this question, ask yourself how you change and better the things that make you happy.

Small changes can make powerful shifts. So give it a try, and see how your happiness changes.

If writing helps keep track of these changes by starting a happiness journal. Record daily your answers and daily activities.

Chapter 1: Prologue

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

 

 

 

Tales of Obsidiana Title Card

 

 

 

 

Long ago, two neighboring providences were located in the southern Earth Kingdom. Each was governed by two old families who inherited the leadership of each providence. The western one was called Norowareta Providence. The family's title name was Lord Jaba, who lived in the lavish estate called Castle Kirai.

Again, "Jaba" was the designation given to the master of the land. The current Lord Jaba's actual name was Tsumibito. Tsumibito wasn't a pleasant fellow, to put it politely. Which seemed to suit him, given his name meant "sinner." He exemplified the sins of greed and gluttony quite sufficiently.

People described him as a vulgar oversized slug with piggish eyes. He had no manners and didn't even have the decency to dress nicely. Lord Tsumibito Jaba remained an entitled man-child, devoid of morals or compassion. He only lived for himself and his own self-interests, so the land he'd inherited upon his father's demise had become so ravaged.

The providence used to be quite thriving, and the citizens were satisfied. However, they hadn't been content or profitable for essentially three decades! The previous Lord had been a devoted, considerate, and hospitable gentleman. He'd been dedicated equally to the providence and the individuals there. His only son, however, the polar opposite. Tsumibito hadn't attracted a wife, to nobody's surprise. Therefore had no heir to inherit after his death, not that seemed to matter to the piggish "Lord" as he was a narcissist.

Now the magnificent providence to the east was the Shukfuku Providence. The title of the ruling household was Windmere, and they dwelled inside Castle Aisuru. Half a decade ago, the previous Lord Windmere had passed away from a stroke. His wife Toku currently managed the estate until they could sort out who was to inherit.

Unfortunately, Toku was infertile and thus had produced no heirs of their own. Consequently, she remained in charge until they'd gone meticulously through the family tree, which could take a good while, given they'd go through even the obscurest family members to locate an heir.

Lady Toku Windmere was as gorgeous as she was thoughtful. A tall, elegant middle-aged woman with graying coppery tresses and lovely light green eyes. She had a maternal personality and remained significantly involved with everyone who lived in her providence.

Thus underneath her family's vigilant eye? Their providence remained prosperous and comfortable, unlike their neighbors to the west. Around the time of this story? Tsumibito's greed had driven him to deprive his land of all resources. Therefore leaving him impoverished, given that both his gluttony and greed drove his actions.

He began discreetly sending 'servants' into the outermost territory of the neighboring providence. Eventually, they unearthed a mine bursting with several valuable gemstones. However, given it was on Lady Windmere's land, he'd no right to this mine or the profits that could come from it. That, of course, didn't stop the greedy man-child.

He hired some mercenaries led by the disreputable Kato, a known sadist with a penchant for vicious and unforgettable torture. Half of Kato's team started raiding villages generating several issues for Lady Windmere. After plundering the towns, they seized anyone of able-body even children. These prisoners were forced to work endlessly in the most inhuman conditions to excavate for treasure. Which resulted in innocent blood spilled and ongoing trauma.

And this is where our story begins.

Notes:

You've set the stage quite vividly with rich detail and clearly established the contrasting characters and their respective domains. Here are some thoughts on your story:

Strong Characterization: Your characters, particularly Lord Tsumibito Jaba and Lady Toku Windmere, are well-defined and distinct. Tsumibito's repulsive nature and Lady Toku's grace and compassion are effectively conveyed, making them compelling figures.

Engaging Conflict: The conflict between the two neighboring provinces, driven by Tsumibito's greed and disregard for others' rights, adds a layer of tension to the story. Introducing Kato and his mercenaries as antagonists further heightens the stakes and sets the scene for potential clashes.

Descriptive Language: Your descriptive language helps to create a vivid picture of the settings and characters. Phrases like "vulgar, oversized slug with piggish eyes" and "tall, elegant middle-aged woman with graying coppery tresses" evoke strong mental images that enhance the reader's immersion in the story.

Themes: Themes of morality, greed, and power dynamics will play significant roles in your story. These themes provide a solid foundation for exploration and can add depth to character arcs and plot developments.

Pacing and Structure: The pacing of your introduction feels appropriate, gradually building tension and intrigue as you introduce the key players and conflicts. Be mindful of maintaining this pacing throughout the story to keep readers engaged and invested.

Overall, you've crafted a compelling opening for your story with well-developed characters, an engaging conflict, and descriptive prose. As you continue writing, consider how to develop these elements further and where you want the story to go. Keep up the great work!