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Nancy and Robin took the lead, leaving Steve and Eddie behind. While the two girls were talking, the awkwardness between the other two was kicking in, as they had remained quiet and Eddie was relatively further than Steve.
The whole evening was an absolute shock for Steve. In less than a few hours, he had been captured by monsters, had almost bled out, and now, he stuck in the Upside Down with three of his friends.
But this probably wasn’t even the worst part of these days, because Steve Harrington, out of all the people in Hawkins – what a damned town that fucker was – was having a horrible identity crisis.
Robin had picked up on it by then. They had a lot in common, and she could sense any of his moods from a mile away, whether it was good or bad. It was almost impossible for her to not be able to read him.
“You’re acting more fidget-y than usual,” Robin had observed one afternoon, as the two were on their way to Eddie’s current hideout. “What happened?”
“Oh, you think?” Steve raised an eyebrow, looking at her slightly before turning to look back at the road. “With everything that’s been happening and Eddie being on the run, I think I can be as fidget-y as I please, Robin.”
“Eddie, huh?” Robin snickered, leaning into her chair. “There’s an Upside Down monster on the loose again, threatening to kill yet another victim, and still… Eddie is your biggest concern.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You did.”
“Did not.”
“Did too.”
“Did not!” Steve exclaimed.
“Did too,” Robin laughed.
“Okay, I’m worried about a friend,” Steve scoffed. “So what?”
“So what?” Robin raised her eyebrows. “The so what here is that I haven’t seen you so ‘worried’ for a ‘friend’ since you had a crush on me.”
“What are you implying, Robin?” Steve whined, looking back at her.
“That you are fucking hopeless. And that you definitely like Eddie.”
“I just…” Steve sighed. “I barely know him.”
“Barely knowing your crush never stopped you,” Robin raised an eyebrow.
“How can I…” Steve groaned, taking his eyes off the road again – I know, very impractical, right? – and facing her. “Fuck. Jesus. This is so confusing.”
“Yup. That’s what I said in seventh grade,” Robin murmured.
“How do I know I like someone? Like Eddie, I mean.”
“How do you know you like the same gender?” Robin asked, to which Steve gave a slow nod. “I don’t know. You just kind of do. I mean, you asked plenty of girls out. How do you know you like girls?”
“Just… because. Wait, I’m confused,” Steve raised a hand. “Eddie… I… Well, I…”
“One word at a time,” Robin encouraged.
Steve took a deep breath in. Robin deeply looked at him.
“Wow. You really do like him.”
“It’s just that— I like girls, Robin.”
“You can like both,” Robin shrugged.
Steve continued driving, but you could tell his whole brain had just shut off.
“I can?”
“Did… anybody tell you you couldn’t?”
“Well… No, but I just kind of assumed…”
Steve stared at the road ahead.
“Wow. I really am dumb.”
“Yup. And you definitely have a crush on Eddie.”
Steve sighed.
“I do, don’t I? Shit.”
“What shit? What’s the problem?” Robin frowned.
“The problem is that I have yet another unrequited crush.”
“Unrequited?” Robin laughed, head tilting back. “Unrequited? Oh my God. Steve Harrington, you truly are the dumbest person I know.”
“What’s so funny? Robin, what the hell?” Steve scoffed.
“It’s just very funny you think that Eddie is not interested in you,” Robin snorted, “with all the disgustingly lovey-dovey faces he has been making while looking at you. Did you notice he stared at you everytime we went to bring him stuff? Well, obviously not. Now that I think about it, both of you are helpless idiots. You are so stupid it’s sad at this point. But he has been staring at you since the day you met. Even when he had you pinned against a wall. Especially then. Definitely, especially then.”
“I…” Steve sighed, his sigh turning into a chuckle. “I hate you, actually. I have a deep hatred for you, Robin Buckley.”
“Jesus Christ. You are the definition of dumb. You’re… you’re the dumb. With a capital D. Dumb with a capital D, Steve! Dumb with a capital D.”
If he was dumb with a capital D, he was also hopeless with a capital H, Steve thought, as he opened his mouth to call for Eddie in order to eliminate the awkwardness between them.
“Eddie!”
Eddie didn’t turn around, but he took it as an invitation to catch up to him.
“Eddie— Hey man, uh…” Steve hesitated. “Listen, I just, uh… I just wanna say thanks. For saving my ass back there.”
“Shit, you saved your own ass, man,” Eddie immediately discredited himself. “I mean, that was a real Ozzy move you pulled back there.”
“Ozzy?” Steve frowned.
“When you took a bite out of that bat…” Eddie tried to explain. Seeing as Steve went quiet, he sighed. “Ozzy Osbourne? Black Sabbath? He bit a bat’s head off onstage?”
“I don’t—”
“You know?”
“No.”
“Doesn’t matter,” Eddie waved his hand, and Steve felt a bit bad for not knowing his new friend’s taste in music. “It’s very metal, what you did. That’s all I’m saying.”
The two made eye contact, a weird sensation inside Steve’s stomach, but he ignored it. He held the contact for a few more seconds, before looking away, flustered.
“Thanks.”
“Henderson told me you were a badass,” Eddie continued. “Insisted on the matter, in fact.”
“Wait, Henderson said that?” Steve raised an eyebrow.
“Oh, yeah, shit!” Eddie scoffed lightly. “Kid wooorships you, dude, like, you have no idea. It’s kinda annoying, to be honest… I don’t even know why I care what that little shrimp thinks, but, uh, guess I got a little jealous, Steve.”
They glanced at each other yet again, and Steve couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow, as if asking why.
“I guess I couldn’t accept the fact that Steve Harrington was actually…” Eddie paused and looked him up and down. “…a good dude,” he continued. “Rich parents, popular, chicks love him. Not a douche? No way, man, no way,” he chuckled. “That, like, flies in the face of all the laws in the universe and my own person Munson doctrine.”
Steve looked away, not sure as to what to say. He didn’t even get to open his mouth, however, because Eddie leaned over and talked himself.
“Still super jealous as hell, by the way.”
“Okay, right—” Steve said, taking a step back, surprised by Eddie’s sudden longing for being close to him.
“Which is why I would never have jumped in that lake to save your ass. Not under any, uh… normal circumstances,” Eddie sighed, looking away.
He looked right back as a branch snapped close to them. Steve pointed his flashlight to where the noise had come from, but nothing was there, and so they continued walking.
“Nope,” Eddie shook his head. “Outside of D&D, I am no hero. I see danger and I just turn heel and run… Or at least that’s what I’ve learned about myself this week,” he quietly mused.
“Give yourself a break, man,” Steve frowned.
“See?” Eddie interrupted. “The only reason I came in here was cause those ladies came in straight after you,” he pointed at Nancy and Robin. “Now, I was too ashamed to be the one who stayed behind. But Wheeler right there, she didn’t waste a second. Not one second… She just dove right in.”
There was a soft pause, one in which Steve had to hold back a pained sigh. Obviously, Eddie had no way of knowing, but Steve… had never really been that interested in Nancy. Of course, the two had been in a relationship and all of that, but, the whole time they were together, it felt… wrong. Hearing she got together with Jonathan was a relief for Steve.
“Now, I don’t know what happened between you two,” Eddie subtly got closer to Steve, pulling him out of his thoughts, “but if I were you, I would get her back. Cause that was as unambiguous a sign of true love as these cynical eyes have ever seen.”
Steve softly mused, “Perhaps another time. In another life, maybe— I don’t…” he scoffed. “I don’t think Nancy and I are meant to be.”
Eddie raised an eyebrow.
“Okay. Okay, well, I mean, that’s cool, but… why? She’s, like, super intelligent and nerdy and she is totally your type. At least, if I know your type well enough.”
“My type?” Steve scoffed in amusement. “What’s my type, then, Eddie?”
“Soft, feminine, intelligent,” Eddie looked at Steve, so deeply, that Steve was wondering if they were talking about his potential crush on Nancy or the secrets of the universe right now. Eddie looked at him the way nobody had before. It was both scary and absolutely fucking amazing. “You’re a walking stereotype, Steve Harrington.”
“What stereotype? Jocky white boy that gets all the ladies?” Steve chuckled. “I have been pushed to use lots of labels I don’t match. I’m not surprised if I pass as an asshole, although I certainly am not… I hope.”
“You kind of do,” Eddie admitted. “Not to Wheeler, I think.” He hesitated, then added. “Surprisingly, not to me, either.”
“What about you, Eddie?” Steve asked, wanting to change the subject before he would impulsively come out to him. “Have you been forced to match labels that aren’t yours?”
“Me? Shit,” Eddie laughed, “first of all, that is a horrible subject change. Second… Wow. Look at you, King Steve, asking me the deepest question I have ever heard from someone. I guess,” he shrugged, “that I have had plenty of experiences with pretending to be someone I am not. But once you stop caring, it’s very liberating.”
“Do you like anyone?” Steve suddenly asked.
Eddie snorted.
“Question is if anyone likes me.”
Steve frowned. “Don’t say that, man. I’m sure a lady will love your nerdiness once.”
“That is so very kind of you,” Eddie snickered, earning a chuckle from Steve, “but, uh… As charming as I am, at least for my school years, I am laying off the ladies. Giving people less lucky than me a chance.”
“What a service you are doing us, Eddie.”
“I’m very kind, aren’t I?”
“But you didn’t answer the question.”
Eddie cringed.
“Do I have to?”
“So you do like someone?”
“Let’s just say that,” Eddie sighed, “the person I like will probably never like me back. I am doomed to be forever unloved simply because of who I am.”
“A D&D nerd who loves metal? I think some people would be fans of that.”
Eddie looked directly into Steve’s eyes, and the latter could feel a warmth spreading through his chest and taking over his cheeks.
“Can I tell you something I never tell anyone, Steve?”
Steve paused.
“Of course. I mean, I have been hiding you from the police for this past few days. I think you can tell me a lot at this point.”
Eddie snickered, but quickly cleared his throat. “Jesus. Okay. You wanna know the actual reason I hide myself and try to not get involved in romance?”
Steve looked at him. “Yeah?”
Eddie took a deep breath and an even deeper sigh followed. He looked in another direction, then down, and fidgeted with his rings as he talked.
“I’m transgender, Steve.”
Steve raised his eyebrows, but allowed the other to continue.
“I… transitioned in middle school thanks to my uncle, so it doesn’t surprise me that you probably don’t know that. I used to look very different. A buzzcut and all. But mostly, my extremely ugly feminine face and stupid fucking boobs. It didn’t occur to me why I hated myself so much until sixth grade.” Eddie sucked a breath in and continued, voice shakier. “I could barely make any friends as a cis teenage girl, but when I started my transition, I had nobody. And it was… very painful. I started the whole drug thing in eighth grade to cope. But I was already ‘passing’ well enough in high school, even with my long hair, painted nails and excessive amounts of jewelry. I got new friends and new interests. That’s when my interested for D&D started, when I learned how to play guitar and how to skateboard. And, not surprising at all,” he chuckled, “turns out I am also gay! Double homicide. It was not cool coming to terms with it, but, uh,” he laughed, “guess it’s not as bad as being wanted by the police for a death that you didn’t even cause… Oh, wait.”
“I don’t get it,” Steve softly said. “Why not get involved in romance just because you’re trans?”
Eddie scoffed, “Because it’s Hawkins and it’s the 80’s. Not only am I crushing on another straight boy right now, but I don’t think anyone would ever even try to love me. Because, y’know,” he gave an amused, yet sad sigh, “to love me is an adventure, like, a real D&D game of plenty of hours. I’m about to be a legal adult, yet I act like a fucking child. You’d need hundreds of guides to be near me or be friends with me, let alone be in love with me. I am not someone anyone could romantically love. I’ve come to terms with that,” he shrugged. “Still hurts like shit, but what can you do?”
“How…” Steve’s voice was hoarse. “How do you know nobody loves you?”
“Well, do you know someone who would love this?” Eddie pointed at himself, scoffing. “Probably not. And I don’t blame ya. I am literally just a stupid fucking nerd who can strum some chords and toss some dices. I am not special at all, and never will be.”
“You’re—”
Eddie gave Steve another look that made him want to pin him onto the closest tree and make out with him urgently, another round of butterflies flying around in his stomach.
“You’re special to me.”
Eddie softly smiled.
“Thanks, Steve,” he sighed, and tried to go ahead.
“No, Eddie,” Steve grabbed Eddie’s hand to stop him from walking away.. “You don’t understand, these past few days, I’ve… I mean, you say you are so unlovable, speaking of yourself so lowly, as if you are nothing but a loser, but I… I literally fell in love with you in just a couple of days, Eddie.”
Eddie frowned, obviously taken aback.
“You… what?”
“Eddie,” Steve softly said, taking a step closer, “I love you.”
Eddie looked the other way, placing a hand over his mouth.
“Steve, please… Fuck, don’t say that. You don’t properly know me,” Eddie shook his head. “You don’t know who I actually am. I’m horrible. I could’ve been so much better than I am, and instead, I chose to be some asshole drug addict that can’t do anything other than play guitar and smoke to save his life. There is nothing to love about me, Steve. This? This is an illusion.” As the two made eye contact, Steve could swear he saw tears in Eddie’s eyes, even though it was really dark outside. “Please don’t say you love me. You don’t know me—”
“Eddie,” Steve gently cupped Eddie’s cheeks with his hands, “I want to know you. I think the reason I love you is because… you are so interesting, with your stupid ranting and weird interests, and I want to know you better. I want you to rant to me about all of your interests, and I’ve never been the attentive type. I want to just hear you talking for hours, and I want to be there for you when you need it, and I… I want to do all of the things you think nobody would do for you. I want to get to know you better than anyone else ever has and ever could.” Steve softly said, “I want to be yours, Eddie.”
Eddie cleared his throat. “Do you… mean that?” he asked, voice hoarse.
“I mean it with every fiber of my being, Eddie.”
Eddie displayed a melancholic smile as a single tear fell down his cheek.
“Jesus fuck, Steve… Holy shit, you are probably the first person to make me cry,” he wiped at his eyes. “I’m sorry, I got a bit… uh, emotional…”
Steve wiped Eddie’s cheek.
“It’s okay, Eddie. It’s okay.”
Eddie buried his head inside Steve’s chest, and Steve wrapped his arms around him, giving him a tight hug.
“I love you, Eddie Munson. I think I love you too much for my own good.”
Eddie looked up at him, chuckling through tears. “Holy shit, Steve Harrington. I love you too, probably way more than I should. But you have no idea what you’re getting yourself into by loving me.”
“I’m willing to throw myself into the unknown for you,” Steve smiled. “Can I kiss you?”
Eddie chuckled. “Do you have to ask?” he whispered as he leaned in.
And, when their lips met, Eddie was convinced he had never felt happier.