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“Why are you being like this?” Charlie said.
“What the fuck am I being like, exactly?” Nick said.
“I just… I don’t understand why you’d want to be here with me.” Charlie’s voice was soft. But Nick heard every single word, and it filled him with unadulterated anger. It’s as if everything that happened in the two years of their relationship meant nothing to Charlie.
“Jesus fucking Christ, mate.”
“Don’t call me mate, you never call me mate.”
Nick scoffed. “You really are being a proper dickhead tonight, aren’t you?”
Charlie looked at Nick with an annoyed expression. “Fuck you. You know what, good for you! You’ve figured your shit out, you’re going to university without me, and that’s so great! But I hate it, Nick, I hate it so fucking much,” Charlie said. “And I am so tired, and I don’t want to hurt anymore, and for some reason, when I’m with you, it just hurts the both of us.”
“What?” Nick said, in utter disbelief.
“We should… we should just go our separate ways, okay? Is this what you wanted to hear?” Charlie said, staring at Nick with eyes wide open and filled with tears. “Just let me go.”
There, he said it. Charlie didn’t want to, but he knows it would be better for the both of them. That this was the only good thing that could come out of this.
Charlie got up and walked past Nick. He noticed Tao standing in the corner of the corridor, locking eyes for a moment before Charlie walked hurriedly past him before Tao could say anything.
Charlie pushed through the crowd until he was out of the house. It was dark outside, only lit by the dim light of the streetlights along the road. The rain was cold and hard on his skin.
Charlie’s ride home was supposed to be with Nick. But that’s obviously not going to happen, and he didn’t want to bother any of his other friends tonight, so he started walking toward the direction of his house. He didn’t care that he was completely drenched, or that he was shivering from the cold. Charlie just wanted to go home.
Charlie didn’t know how far he had gone but the sound of footsteps growing louder broke him out of his trance. He looked back and saw a figure running toward him.
“Charlie!” It was Nick. Charlie desperately wanted to run away from him, but he stood still as Nick came closer and closer, until they were standing a few inches apart from each other. Charlie could feel Nick’s cold breath on his face.
“Why did you follow me?” Charlie said, looking down at the ground, avoiding Nick’s gaze. Nick shook his head and let out a huff.
“You know what, Charlie? Fuck you. Fuck you for not even trying. For letting Tao and Elle’s decision influence yours. For not telling me what you’ve been going through. For saying all the shit you’ve said,” Nick said. Charlie looked up to meet his eyes. “And maybe you’re right, maybe you are boring, maybe it’s better if we were broken up.”
“And of all the places I could be, why would I want to be here with you?” Nick continued. He sounded like he was choking up. “Yeah, you’re right, it doesn’t make sense!”
“Nick–” Charlie said, but Nick interjected.
“No, let me finish.” Charlie stared at Nick as his heart burned, and his eyes were red and tears threatened to spill from his eyes. Charlie thought that Nick would be furious, but he didn't look angry at all; he looked sad.
“Maybe it’s like you said. Maybe there is something out there, some new discovery that will make us feel like even smaller pieces of shit,” Nick continued. “Something… something that could explain why I still went looking for you, even through all of this noise.” Nick's voice softened when he said this.
“And why, no matter what, I still want to be here with you,” Nick said. “I don’t give a fuck if you’re boring, or if you hate me, or if you think I’m leaving you. I will always, always want to be here with you.”
At that point, Charlie wasn’t sure whether he was crying, or if it was the rain.
“So what, you’re just going to ignore everything else?” Charlie said, his voice shaking. “You can be anything, you can have anyone. Why don’t you go somewhere where your boyfriend could be more than just this?” Charlie let out a dry chuckle and he noticed Nick’s eyes were wet.
“With me, all we get are a few specks of time where any of this actually makes any sense.” Charlie continued, shaking his head disapprovingly.
“Then I will cherish these few specks of time with you,” Nick said. A silence fell between them, only the noise of the rain hitting the concrete floor reminding them that this was happening. That this was real. “Please. Give us a chance. I want to give us a chance."
Charlie turned to face away from Nick as he looked into the distance. The endless rows of houses lining the road, the streetlights gradually fading into the distance as they become unrecognizable blobs, the glimpses of stars in the dark, cloudy sky.
For a moment, Nick thought that this was it. That Charlie was going to give up on them. That he’d slip through his fingers and there was nothing he could do to stop it. That he was going to have to learn to live without Charlie for the rest of his life. And as his last strand of hope started to dissipate, Charlie turned back around and jumped into Nick’s arms, tightly wrapping his arms around his waist.
And it was the warmest feeling the two boys felt in the past few weeks.
“Yeah,” Charlie whispered into Nick’s ear softly. “Yeah, I will.”