Chapter Text
1 What do you call shameless gossip spread by aerial transports?
A load of shuttlebutt!
2 Why could nobody see Rodimus and Mirage's posts on the fan forums?
They were hidden for having spoilers…
3 What crime is a grumpy road-former likely to be charged with?
Aggravated asphalt!
4 What's the most popular burger on Cybertron?
The Big Maccadam!
5 What do you call it when Unicron completes a full revolution around a star?
A unicycle!
6 Why is Soundwave always up so damn early?
Because he's an A.M. radio!
7 Why does Megatron NOT want to marry someone very rich?
Too many places don't allow loaded firearms!
8 How do Cybertronians send their love to each other?
On a CD-ROMance!
9 Why is it hard for Astrotrain to make friends with other trains?
It makes them nervous when he goes off the rails!
10 Why did Inferno ruin all of Blaster's mixtapes?
He heard they were fire…
11 Why don't Autobots or Decepticons go to the car wash on Earth?
Because you have to shift into Neutral!
12 Why is Skywarp just flying in circles?
He isn't firing on all thrusters!
13 Why were the Construction groupies disappointed when Devastator showed up to a fight and ended it immediately?
They were in it for the Long Haul…
14 Why do the Autobots on Earth need help shopping online?
Captchas don’t allow robots to check out…
15 How does Reflector always beat the other Decepticons to their destination?
He has a lot of zoom!
16 What do you call it when Megatron starts an aggressively-managed farming co op?
“Peas Through Tyranny”
17 How did Soundwave punish Frenzy and Rumble after finding them overcharged on electricity?
He grounded them! ⚡
18 What got Ironhide banned from the Autobot basketball court? 🏀
He was shooting hoops! 🔫
19 What does Starscream call his self-titled epic high-budget trilogy of memoirs?
“The Lord of the Wings”
20 Why is preserving Megatron's work especially important to the gun-former community?
Because they don't have many poets of his caliber...
21 Why can't Blackout stand the "Predator" movies?
The characters just get to the chopper.
22 Why is Cheetor not allowed on stealth missions?
Because he's always spotted!
23 Why do transformers with non-vehicle alt modes go out less?
They have less drive.
24 Why does Ravage always jump on top of somebot after shooting them?
Because if he blitz, he sits! 😺
25 Why were the twins permanently banned from going near Prime's trailer?
Because they tried Roller skating… (and it went about as well as you'd expect 🚗 🛼 💥 🚑 )
26 What do the Decepticons, sports stadiums, and the Queen of England all have in common?
They all have special Waves.
27 Why do the Autobots only order smaller coffees at intelligence meetings?
Because there might be cassettes in the Ventis!
28 Why aren't gestalts eligible to receive the Matrix?
Because Primes are indivisible!
29 Why are Rumble and Frenzy always talking in stereo?
Because it gets boring in there! 📻
30 Why couldn't the kettle-former brew anything today?
Because his tea cog is malfunctioning! 🫖
31 Why won't Megatron let Scrapper edit his writing?
He can't take the Constructicon criticism.
32 Why was Inferno too embarrassed to dance at the party?
He had a run in his hose 😳 🚒
33 What do Blaster and Wheeljack's lab have in common?
They're both boom boxes! 📻 💥
34 Why did Ratchet drag Kup in for wheel maintenance?
Because he's been refusing to re-tire for too long!
35 What do you call Jazz when his cabin is full of live poultry?
A chicken coupe! 🐓 🏎️
36 Why does Megatron refuse to set up repeat deliveries for energon?
He doesn't want anything Auto-bought!
37 For Skyfire, what was the hardest part of reintegrating after he was rescued from the Arctic?
All of his accounts were frozen! 🥶
38 Why can't Tidal Wave ever reach the publishing stage when he's in shallow water?
He just spends the whole time messing with his draft! 🚢
39 Why did Grimlock adopt a little reference data drive into the Dinobots? 📔 🦖
His alt mode is a thesaurus!
40 Why are Decepticons afraid to call for roadside assistance? ☎️
Because being taken away by a Wrecker sounds like a bad time!
41 Why are bots in the intelligence division forbidden from scanning a coffee grinder alt mode? 🚫
Because if they're captured, they might spill the beans!
42 Why did Thundercracker's theater career never take off?
Stage productions only ever used prop planes! 🛩️
43 Why did the Autobots try covering the Nemesis in acoustic foam?
They heard it would keep Soundwaves from getting out! 🔇
44 What is the most popular martial arts school among sedans?
Carate 🚗 🥋
45 How can a Cybertronian become an accomplished poet if they spend most of their time in stop-and-go traffic?
They can get started by slamming on their brakes! 🛑 🚕 🎙️
46 Why do drillers often dislike heavy metal?
It just wears a bit on you.
47 What's the one maneuver Megatron can still do in gun mode? 🔫
A barrel roll!
48 Why won't any femme scan the Pope-mobile for an alt mode?
You can't break the glass ceiling. 🙅♀️ 🔨 🪟
49 What do you call glyphs created specifically to represent the sounds made by fuel?
Energonomatopoeia 🗯️
50 What do you call it when Chromedome operates on a clownfish?
Nemo-surgery 🐠 💉
51 Why did Preceptor arrange a trip to a water park?
He heard they had exciting slides! 🔬 🦠 🎢
52 Why does Unicron always end up transforming to fight when he could just gobble everything up?
He just doesn't planet very well... 🤷♀️ 🪐 ⚔️
53 Why is it unusual for a Sharkticon to pursue a career in scientific research? 🦈 🔬
They can't seem to back up their findings! ⛔
54 Why does Megatron only bake with yeast?
He likes seeing things RISE UP! 🍞
55 What do you call a type of musical glitchmouse repellent?
Patch notes 🎼 🚫 🐁
56 Starscream: "Knock-knock!"
Knockout: "Never call me that again."
57 What do you call it when haulers make some of their compensation information public?
Semi-transparency 🚛 💵 🪟
58 What do you call Minimus Ambus when he gets pranked with an illicit bucket of chrome coat?
A silver fox 🪣 🦊 👨⚖️
59 What do Prowl, Starbucks, and The Odyssey have in common?
They all have sirens 🚨 🧜♀️ 🎤
60 Why did the Autobots crash Soundwave's garage band gig?
They heard he was deploying super-advanced jamming techniques! 🎸 🎧 📡 🛰️
61 What does Jazz's team call it when they get sent to stake out drainage pipes?
Culvert Ops 🚰 🥷
62 Why doesn't BW Megatron have the budget for more Predacons to get alt modes like Waspinator?
Because it's a Pay-per Wasp! 🐝 💵 🦖
63 What does Soundwave propose when the gang wants to go on a boating trip, since he's not impressed with Earth's oceans? 🌊 🚤 🗺️ 📻
Lake: Superior
64 What is Blurr's favorite kind of YouTube content?
Unboxing videos! 📦 🛃 🏎️
65 Why won't Starscream tolerate other Seekers copying his flight patterns at supersonic speeds?
Because he shouldn't have to put up with this machery! 💥 ✈️ 🤬
66 Why would it be easy for Laserbeak to get a job in the government?
They're always looking for more red tapes!🚩
67 What is the most popular pizza order at the Autobot base?
A large Omega Supreme 🍕 🚀
68 Why do so many people follow the Matrix of Leadership's social media accounts?
It has great handles! 🐦 👍 🔔
69 Why does Ambit rarely need to be introduced to anybody in security services?
Everyone knows the drill! 🪛 🤝
70 What did Rodimus title his surprisingly adept parodical argument to Megatron on why they should host an Easter egg hunt on the Lost Light?
"Towards Peeps" 🐤 🍭 🥚
71 Why are haulers not known for their athletes?
Their leagues are only semi professional 🚛 🥈
72 Why wasn't it a big deal for the Autobots to blend in with human-operated vehicles?
They just had to install a few drivers! 🚔 👮 🔑
73 Why won't people accept that Unicron would just rather be a moon than get a respectable orbit of his own?
They say he's just going through a phase… 🌖 🌗 🌘🌒 🌓 🌔
74 Why would it never work out for Starscream to date a pilot like he does in the fics?
In reality, they're too afraid of ejection! ✈️ 💥 🪂
75 Why did Drift sign up for a class on PowerPoint?
He heard it would help him improve his slides! 🏎️ 💻 📈
76 What position in the United States government was Soundwave sure he could infiltrate seamlessly?
Speaker of the House 📻 🔊
77 What traditional Cybertronian energon snack is processed into jelly so that it won't spill during frequent braking?
Traffic jam 🚘 🍯 🚖
78 What parts of human anatomy did Megatron think were something completely different?
Belly buttons 🖲️
79 What odorous nickname did the Nemesis crew earn when they fell into a waste water treatment plant on a raid?
The Septicons! 💩 ⛲
80 What do Waspinator, paper cuts, the Hobbiton Bagginses, and the 80s band The Police have in common?
They all have a Sting 🐝 🗡️ 🎤
81 Which "The Knights of Cybertron" role did Ratchet always get in school plays?
Sir Ambu-Lancelot 🚑 🤺
82 What walks on four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon, and three in the evening?
Optimus Primal on a really bad day.🦍 🩹
83 What do the Autobots call the amusing pastime of flushing Decepticons out of cover with heavy weapons fire?
Ironhide and Ironseek 🛻 💥
84 Why should Minimus Ambus consider a motorcycle alt mode?
He looks good with a handlebar 🥸
85 Why did Blaster consider getting a cassette with a canine alt?
You can pump more base with an extra subwoofer 🐶 🔊 🎚️
86 What do you call it when a disenfranchised miner feels compelled to take a jet alt mode and become a gladiator to take down the injustice of his origins?
A fight ore flight response! ⛏️ ⚔️ 🚀
87 What scene of aliens invading an innocent person's body and emerging violently do the Autobots consider the most upsetting example of Earth's horror genre of entertainment?
Clowns boarding a clown car.
88 What is the most popular social media platform among shuttles?
Aerospacebook 🚀
89 What government meeting invite did Optimus find the most misleading?
A new policy rollout… 🚚 🛣️ 🚫 📋 🏦 ✅
90 Why is it unusual for a bit to scan a camper trailer to tag along with their friends?
Nobot likes being the fifth wheel... 😒 🫂 🫂 🚙 🚐
91 Why does Soundwave get more Mother's Day cards than anybot on the Nemesis?
Because he has the most advanced motherboards! 💻 💌
92 Why is it unusual for a mech to have a trailer alt mode?
It takes a lot of trust and commitment to get hitched! 🚛 💑
93 What crime would you get charged with for providing parking and power cells to criminals on Cybertron?
Asphalt and Battery 🛣️ 🔋 🔐 🚓
94 How do you know when Astrotrain's vents are clogged with pollen?
You can hear the "A-CHOO-CHOO" for miles… 🚂 🌼 🤧
95 What legal agreement do speedsters usually negotiate before entering into a race against their significant other?
A Grand Prix-nup 🚦 🏎️ 🏎️ 💏 📜
96 When a group of combiners form a motorcycle, why is the leader usually a wheel?
Because they need to have a spokes-mech! 🏍️
97 What do you call a mech who turns into a John Deere, but hurts their team's overall performance ?
A de-tractor! 🚜 😴 👎
98 Why is Megatron such a compelling subterranean speaker?
It's very hard to undermine him! ⛏️
99 What do you call a Seeker that likes to keep all of their business a secret?
A private jet! 🛬
100 What do you call a crane that can swing cargo at Mach 1?
A sonic boom! 🏗️ 💥