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Damian is in Bludhaven, more importantly, he’s in front of Richard’s apartment, suitcase in one of his hands and feeling like his about to throw up, his hands are shaking, but then again is cold outside, since when is Bludhaven so cold? And the worst part is that he is in civilian clothes because.
Oh, right.
Robin.
He isn’t Robin anymore, that’s why he is here, in civilian clothes, in Bludhaven and is probably the reason why he should knock the door. He doesn’t, he’s scared, which is stupid, because Damian doesn’t get scared, is a weakness, makes you distracted and can be used as an advantage for the enemies, he refuses to…
The door opens and Damian jumps in surprise, Richard does the same, not expecting to see Damian there, because why would Damian be there, maybe is time to take a step back and get out of there before the other talks, he will figure out something on his way.
“Damian? What are you doing here?”
And the words start to come out of his mouth before he can stop them.
“I’m sorry, he took Robin away from me, I couldn’t stop him, and I don’t know where else to stay, I don’t want to go back to the league, I don’t want him to send me back to the league.”
“Damian, okay, calm down, I need you to breath” Damian does as he is told, “Okay, that’s good, now why don’t you come in?”
“It looked like you were about to go out, I don’t mean to interrupt your plans.”
“Damian, it can wait, it’s cold outside anyway. So, why don’t you pass and I don’t know, you tell me about what’s going on more calmly, okay?” Damian nods, wordlessly following after Richard who leads them both into the coach on the living room.
They stay like that for a few minutes, it’s comforting, Damian thinks, almost perfect if not for the slightly concerned looks Dick throws his way. The younger lets himself be carried away by the calm of the moment, it's familiar, it’s getting home to the penthouse after a bad patrol, back when Dick was Batman, it’s safe, he’s safe, and only after reassuring himself of that, does he dare break the moment and speak.
“I want to stay with you.”
Dick hums, thinks for a moment, not turning to look a Damian and then asks; “Because you want to or because he fired you?” There’s silence again, Damian fidgets with the suitcase, like he wants to answer but doesn’t really know how, Dick sighs. “I’m not saying I don’t want you to stay Damian, I love having you with me, you know that, I just want to make sure you’re not making any raw decision”
“You think is reckless of me to be here?” Damian asks, not really wanting to be angry at his older brother right now, but still defensive, Dick finally looks at him with soft eyes and an understanding smile, Damian visible relaxes.
“I just want to understand Dami, not only what happened but what you really want to make out of it, if you know what you want to make out of it… and if you don’t then it’s fine, we can figure it out. But I can’t help you if you just act like it’s not a big deal.”
“Batman fired me.”
“I’m sorry Dames, I know how hard that is.”
“He thinks I killed someone, one of my mother’s enemies from the league. I didn’t” He adds, because it feels needed, even if Dick doesn’t show any specific emotion and just listens. “Apparently, he had come to Gotham to redeem himself, to have a normal life, but someone killed him. He was killed with a sword…. A katana. I think he wanted to believe me, Batman, I mean, at least at first, so he just benched me and excluded me from investigating that case with him, I know he interrogated mother, I know her history made sense and he doesn’t think she did it, I also know he didn't find anything useful, mainly because I did read his files on the case, it seems that I’m the only close enough to him to mislead him into a lot of dead ends" He pauses, swallows "I confronted him but that was enough to raise his suspicions, he wouldn’t believe no matter how hard I tried to explain, and so he just fired me, I'm sorry, by the way, that I couldn't protect your legacy"
"Damian..." Dick tried to speak, but Damian just shook his head and continued:
"He said we would figure out what to do about me, at least until he solved the case. He wants to send me back to the league.”
Dick’s sad smile had dropped and was replaced by that cold, calculating look Dick had only given him when they first met, like Damian was some kin of math problem to solve.
“Are you sure?”
“Aren’t you? That was his plan before I died, when he thought I was a threat to Gotham” when I was ten goes unsaid, Damian tries not to hold it to heart, he tries to not think about it, because after all his father had gone to hell and back to rescue him, and wasn’t it selfish? To remember how he had wanted to get reed of him just before that.
Dick hugged him.
Dick hugged him and Damian had to remind himself that he was safe.
After breaking the hug, the younger took a time to breath, to calm himself again before going back to fidget with the suitcase, he reaches to the lock on the front and openes it, takes out a folder and...
And Dick freezes, he immediately recognizes it, Damian was not supposed to have it, no, it was supposed to be locked in some safe place in the penthouse, because he had been a coward and never moved it to the manor nor his apartment, never talked about it with Bruce and although Damian had known about the folderand it's content, Dick had thought that he wanted was okay with never bringing the topic back.
Because Dick had adopted Damian back when it was only the two of them and Alfred. But stil, Damian was not supposed to have the adoption papers, he was supposed to be here to ask for brotherly advice from Dick, because that’s what he was, his brother, doesn’t matter that they never bother to annule the adoption, So what if Dick struggled with seeing Damian as only his brother and not his son? So what if he couldn’t help but feel angry at Bruce for not putting as much effort as Dick had into raising Damian? ‘You’ll let him get away with everything, like a brother, you’re not his father, Dick, Bruce is.’ Tim had said, even if he hadn´t been there to see, too occupied with bringing Bruce back, but how could Dick tell him he was wrong? After the battle for the cowl? After robin? So he just nodded and let Damian go back to the manor and that was supposed to be it, the two of them were supposed to move on, Damian was not supposed to have the adoption papers.
“Damian…”.”
“I don’t want to go back to the league"
“I understand, but-” Damian’s body goes tense in realization.
“You don’t want to.”
It wasn't a question and Dick makes a pained noise, he’s about to say something that’ll make Damian angry, and they both know it.
“That’s not what I meant, Damian, I just, I know how Bruce is, but I’m sure this is fixable.”
Right.
“I understand.”
“I really don’t think you do.”
“It’s okay, I should have been aware that you just took care of me out of obligation, I shouldn’t have brought this up. I’m sorry.”
“That’s so not it, God, you’re my brother and I understand that you’re afraid, I love you and you can stay here if you want, but you have a father Damian.”
“He fired me, wants to send me away.”
“He took robin, not your place as his son, he’ll comeback for you and you'll go back to him.”
“Like always."
"Like always."
They were both fuming by now, Damian's voice was scratchy and his hands had turned into fists, Dick was trembling and it was hard to tell if he wanted to cry or to shout, they needed to stop this, Damian knew, never talk about it again, like they use to do, they were hurting each other, they should stop, should stop, should-
"So what? I must wait until he realizes he’s wrong, forgives me for something I didn’t do and loves me back, again!?” Damian snaps and Dick goes back to looking sad.
“He already loves you, never stopped doing so.” And that's the thing, Dick knows Bruce loves Damian, just as he loves the rest of his children, he's a jerk, he lacks emotional intelligence, but he loves them, in his own toxic weird way.
“But does he love me more than you do?” It was a tricky question, a trap, Dick knew, that didn’t stop his heart from hurting.
“You don’t get to do that Damian.” Dick's tired, so, so tired.
“No, you’re the one that doesn’t get to do this. You had a dad and a mom before Batman, knew what love was like. My mother and I live at odds most the time and my father couldn't look me at the eyes, I was fine with it.. But then he died and you came, with this annoying habit of showing you cared, that you loved me, you told me you were proud of me… and I thought that, that you were nothing like my mother or my father, but still managed to be the closest thing I have had as a dad…” Dick froze and if Damian noticed, he didn't show it “you adopted me, I was someone's son and not just someone's weapon or someone's soldier. But then you left and I didn’t hold it against you because I wasn’t your son, even if I was. But I understood, because father was back and you had a life of your own away from me… and then I died and then you died and I didn’t, couldn’t, hold it against you because it wasn’t our fault and I just missed you so much.”
They stayed silent for a while, until Damian manages to breathe normally again.
“And then you came back, told me how you wanted to stay with me even after... Bruce came back and some part of me stopped feeling ashamed of my own feelingS. But guess what, then you forgot me, hated me even and how could I blame you? It was not your fault, but is it ever?” Dick eyes widen, Damian chocks on his own words with a guilty look “I didn’t mean… It really wasn’t your fault, okay? I just, I’m so confused. Is it my fault?”
“No, Damian…”
“Because if isn’t you fault, but it isn’t mine either, then why would you still leave me? Why would you keep sending me back to the man that beat you into accepting to fake your own death?”
Dick’s face goes pale at that, the older shoud have questions, should be able to think straight, he's the adult he should just put a stop to this, he can't, he's feeling too much and Damian. doesn’t. stop.
"I understand if you do not want to be my dad, I understand if you lied when you said you did, I’m perfectly fine with just being your brother, hell, if you were to ask me to burn this papers and never talk about them again, I would understand, but you keep acting like you want to but you just can’t, you keep coming back and leaving. So you don’t get to do that, you don’t get to leave me behind just to comeback every single to say that you missed me, that you never wanted to leave me. Why would you, my legal guardian, my brother, my… my dad… Why would you have to miss me?”
They stay in silent for a while again, while Dick remembers how to breath correctly and until Damian starts feeling nervous. “But if you really do not want to, I could go with the batgirls, just… just don’t tell me to go back there”
Back at the manor.
Back with his father.
Back with a Batman that does not complement his robin.
“No, you’re right, I just, always thought you would want to be with your biological father more than anything in the world, that I would be taking away your right to know him.”
“Well, now I know him, he’s a jerk and the only remarcable think about him is that he has Alfred. What now?” Dick snorts.
“Now you stay here and if he does something stupid, I sue him.”
“You aren’t dumb enough to try” The other smirks. “God, you are.”
“I’ll talk to him and Alfred, make sure he doesn’t try anything dumb to begin with... He does love you Damian and I’m sure he’ll understand if this is what you want.”
“You’re just going because you want to bring the robin uniform and gadgets.” Damian says and then laughs when Dick gives a defeated sigh.
"And your pets, of course."
"Of course." They both smile.
“Okay, yes, but I will talk to him, no more running away kiddo.”
“And if he doesn’t? Understand, I mean.”
“I always wished I took you with me to Bludhaven and now that the opportunity presented itself, I’m not letting it go away so easily.”
“The opportunity was always there.”
“And I’m sorry it took me so long to realize.” He said ruffling Damian’s hair.
“You’re forgiven” spoke the younger trying to look smug even if the slight red in his ears betrayed him.
“And you are an amazing kid” Damian rolled his eyes and stood up from the couch with his suitcase, moving to a room in the apartment he knew was empty.
“Of course I am. We’re the greatest.”
Dick smiled, a warm feeling invading his chest, that memory always made him sad and yet…
“Hey, we can’t help being great.”
They’ll be fine, he will make sure of it.