Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Six Years Before

Merlin hummed as he folded the last of Arthur’s shirts. He pressed it down onto the neat pile proud of himself how perfectly he had completed the task. Sneaking a glance around the room he smiled even prouder at the rest of his work. The mop was just scrubbing the last spot. The duster inspected its work looking for any hidden spider webs in corners. Not to mention the rag had polished away at Arthur’s armor so perfectly it gleamed. Yes, he was very proud of himself. Not even Arthur could complain about him being a worthless servant today.

Compared to what happened next though, those words would have been sweat music.

One minute the day was bright and cheery, and everything was perfect.

The next, the door to Arthur’s chambers were thrown open with a snap. Everything stopped, quite literally as his magic froze in mid-motion.

Arthur himself stood in the doorway staring at the evidence of the magic around him. Shock and fear were etched into his face as hard as stone. It was the worst expression that Merlin could imagine coming from his prince.

“I…Arthur, I can explain.” His words, almost as assuredly as if they’d been a spell themselves, turned Arthur’s surprise into anger.

Arthur marched right up to him, grabbing his shoulders and squeezing just the other side of too tight. “You have to go.”

“What?” Merlin felt his heart drop into his feet at what Arthur was saying, yet somehow, he hoped he’d simply misheard him.

“You have to leave Camelot. You’re not safe here anymore. You have to go, and you have to go now.” Arthur hissed.

“But I…no, Arthur, please don’t send me away. I know I have a lot to explain, but once you understand—”

“It doesn’t matter what I understand! You have magic and you’ll be killed if you stay here. Now go, before it’s too late.”

Merlin couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe that the man in front of him, the man he thought he knew better than he knew himself most days would sentence him to die. It just wasn’t possible. Arthur Pendragon might have spent his whole life following in his father’s footsteps, but he was a good person.

“Arthur…” There were too many emotions wrapped up in that single word. His name too much like a plea.

“I won’t tell you again, Merlin!” It could have been the trick of the light, but for a moment, Merlin thought he saw tears in his eyes. “Go!”

Merlin didn’t have the heart for good-byes or explanation. He didn’t have the heart to stay in Camelot where he wasn’t wanted for another moment. With a single broken sob, Merlin let his magic surround him and then he was gone.

Arthur stared at the space where Merlin had just been. The only sign that he had even been there at all and not just a piece of Arthur’s imagination was the dust caught in the sunshine that swirled around as if caught in a whirlwind.

If Arthur had needed more proof for the reality of what he had walked in to see, he had it.

The magic had taken him completely by surprise and stolen the few precious moments he’d had to begin with. Arthur had stood there staring like a fool for so long, he’d wasted any time he had for explanation. It was just that as he saw the gold in Merlin’s eyes so much of the mystery that was Merlin made sense.

Then he had seen the fear in Merlin’s eyes, the babbling explanations, the desperation to be understood. More than anything, Arthur wanted to assure him that he was safe, that Arthur accepted all of who he was and would never hurt him. But the truth was he wasn’t safe, and not because of the magic.

Behind Arthur, he already heard the pounding steps of guards rushing towards the room. They had been right behind him as he ran up the stairs. If he had delayed to say all the things he wanted to or to explain himself, Merlin would have been caught too.

Arthur could handle anything but that.

The door burst open. His father stood at the front of a group of guards. He signaled and two of them stepped forward to grab Arthur by the arms while the others began to tear apart the room.

“Search everywhere. He can’t have gotten far.” Uther snapped.

“You’re wrong. He’s long gone.” Arthur snarled.

At least he had done that much. He had failed to keep Uther from finding out the truth of them, but he had gotten Merlin out before it was too late.

Uther whirled to his men. “I want this whole castle locked down, every stone searched. Bring me that boy!”

Arthur laughed. “Ignore me if you will, but you’ll never touch him. You’ll have to settle for me father. Inflict whatever punishment you see fit, it won’t matter. He’s safe from you and your cruelty.”

Striding in front of Arthur, Uther grabbed his son by the throat and applied just enough pressure that he choked to breathe. “You think I won’t bring down the lash just because you are my son? You have made a disgrace to the Pendragon name, and I will see it washed clean with your blood, boy.”

Arthur spit in his own father’s face. “Do your worst.”

Chapter Text

Present Day

Arthur could feel a storm on the horizon. He stiffly pulled his shirt on, wishing as he did every day to once again have strong warm hands doing so for him. Trying to push away the lost memories, Arthur instead focused on finishing dressing. He had wasted enough time this morning on the past, forever haunted by days gone by, and he was late to training.

Leon always gave him a pitying look when he would walk onto the field alone as if he knew it was a cursed state to be in.

It had felt like a lifetime that he’d constantly had Merlin at his side. Even those around him had so quickly come to see the two as a permanent pair. Every day that went by without him was a weight Arthur had to bear.

“Morning, my king.” Leon greeted him; the sentiment followed by all the other knights.

The name still felt awkward and unfamiliar. For too long he had associated it with his father, or at least the monster he had once called his father. Now with the monster dead and buried the name had passed to him. It had been hearing that name in reference to himself for the first time that made him throw up and not Uther’s cold dead body on the floor. Now though, he at least tolerated it.

“How do the men fair today?” Arthur asked numbly.

“Well. The new men have integrated well with the other knights. You can hardly tell the common born from the nobles in skill.”

One of the things he had done when he became king was change the rules of knighthood. It had been Merlin’s dream that anyone with enough strength and heart could protect their home and their people. He only wished Merlin would one day return to see it.

“We shall see about that.” Arthur walked over to the table and lifted a weapon.

For a moment he almost heard Merlin’s whine of complaint. Oh, no, Arthur, not that one. You trying to break my arm off? For that alone he may have been unduly harsh in his testing of the knights’ skills.

He worked them hard in morning training more for his own sake than theirs. Thankfully, none of his knights commented or complained for the extra exercise. Arthur had trained his whole life as a warrior. His skill and power on the battlefield had felt like his only strength. Not long ago, he had learned even that could be taken away from him, so he worked even harder to make sure he never lost it again.

The morning training passed all too quickly before George was at his side. Arthur groaned. “What am I late for now?”

Unfazed by Arthur attitude, George answered simply. “You were to be at a council meeting twenty minutes ago and the lords are displeased.”

“They’re always displeased.” Arthur heaved himself off the training field after calling for an end of today’s training. Then he turned to George. “Give me fifteen minutes to change and I’ll be there.”

He headed straight towards his room. They were not the chambers he had once had as a prince, nor were they his father’s chambers. He hadn’t been able to set foot inside either room again after the events that happened nearly six years ago. Instead, he’d had one of the royal guest chambers completely refurbished and remade into a space that was all his own.

Still, it was hardly home for him. The room had all the necessities and lavish décor that any king could desire, but it was only a space to him. It was a place to sleep, and get dress, and occasionally to do work. Nothing more. The whole kingdom felt like that since…

Honestly, Arthur couldn’t decide what he did more of during the day, thinking about Merlin or trying not to think about Merlin. He had left his imprint everywhere and Arthur wanted nothing more than his return.

The first thing Arthur had done upon becoming king was change the laws regarding magic. No one had been punished for its practice since he had taken the throne. In fact, Arthur had been working diligently to make Camelot a safe haven for any magic users.

The second thing Arthur had done was embark on a search for his lost servant. He had sent his most trusted knights out in every direction looking for any sign of him. Even Gaius had tried to find a way to contact him to no avail.

Arthur didn’t want to think what that meant. The only thing that had kept him going in those horrific years between Merlin’s flight and when Arthur finally became king was the thought of Merlin out there in the world safe and happy. Now, he feared something may have happened to him while he was on his own. At night, the worst of those fears plagued his dreams.

A knock at the door saved him from his descending thoughts.

“Come in?” He was already changed out of his training clothes.

He had expected George to stand in the doorway and hurrying him along. Instead, there was a slightly bemused Gwen who entered. “Beg pardon, Arthur. I know you are quite busy today and that you have a council meeting at present, but there is someone here who asks for an audience with you.”

“Who?” Arthur asked.

“Well…” She looked unsure of what to say when it had seemed like a simply enough question. “I’m not entirely sure, but I believe he…he claims be…perhaps it would be better if you met with him yourself to answer that question.”

“Gwen, I can’t just drop everything for every person who walks through the gates asking to speak with me, especially when I don’t know who they are.”

“He says that it is an urgent matter. And Arthur, trust me, you want to meet with him. I believe you’ll regret it if you don’t.”

Now he was intrigued more than anything else. No matter what it definitely sounded more interesting than another pointless council meeting.

“Have George tell the council that the meeting will be canceled for today and have whoever it is brought to the throne room.” Arthur said.

Gwen gave him a kind smile. “I’ll do so.”

Arthur headed straight for the throne room. On his way, he passed Lancelot and Gwaine coming back from the training grounds.

Gwaine beamed at him like a cat who had just caught sight of a mouse. “And where are you going, our dear King? This does not look like the way to the council room.”

“An urgent audience I must attend to.” He explained.

Both of them turned to follow him.

“And no announcement about it. I hadn’t heard of anyone entering Camelot who would warrant such an urgent audience.” Gwaine continued.

“Should I summon the knights, sir?” Lancelot asked, being helpful instead of teasing.

“I don’t know. Gwen requested I meet this person and I trust her judgement. She is bringing him now.”

“Sounds like fun!” Gwaine grabbed Lancelot’s arm to drag him along despite that he was already following.

Arthur blew out a sigh, “fine, you can come, but please stay quiet for once.”

The three of them walked into the throne room and took their positions. Arthur did his best to look kingly as he sat on the throne. It was still difficult for him to sit there as his mind fought against the memories of his father in the exact same position, but he pushed through. Gwaine and Lancelot stood at attention watching the door. Though Gwaine looked more like a child the morning of his birthday awaiting a present.

Arthur heard the sound of Gwen’s familiar footsteps a moment before the door opened. It appeared at first as if she walked in alone, but she gave a glance backwards and Arthur suddenly realized there was a small form trailing in her wake. It was a child wrapped in a dark cloak held by the arm by Gwen.

Gwen paused just in front of the throne giving a small bow. “Your majesty this is…”

She had begun to give the formal greeting, but the child didn’t give her the chance. The moment she had released him to bow, he broke in front of her and stood on the first step of the dais.

The child was young. Based on the small frame in front of him no older than four or five years old. “King Awthur Pendwagon!” The kid seemed to be going for ferocious, but ended up sounding downright adorable trying to say his name as every r sounded more like a w. Yet, he spoke with a confidence and eloquence men ten times his age rarely did. “I challenge you in combat fow the thwone of Camewot!” He pulled what appeared to be a child size glove from inside his cloak and threw it on the ground in front of Arthur.

Arthur had no idea what to feel in that moment. Surprise. Amusement. Irritation. Admiration. Utter and complete disbelief of the event enfolding in front of him. His brain seemed to short circuit out as it attempted to feel all of them at the same time instead.

What the hell was happening here?

Gwaine on the other hand seemed to know exactly what to do and that was to fall to the floor laughing so hard no one could tell if he was even breathing anymore.

“What?” Arthur finally managed to say.

The child seemed angry that he wasn’t being taken seriously. “Accept the challenge or step aside you tiger-ant.”

Arthur had to still be in his bed dreaming. There was no other explanation.

“Bal! You said you’d let me do the talking.” Gwen complained as if she knew this strange child.

“Yeah, but then I saw his stwupid face.” He pouted.

“Look, kid,” Arthur tried to be as calm and patient as he was capable, though that was growing harder the longer Gwaine hysterically cackled. “You can’t just walk in off the street and demand a challenge for the throne like that.”

“Yeahuh! If you got noble bloowd you can.” He suddenly threw back his hood to reveal his face. The sight of him alone made Arthur’s blood freeze as he stared into a near carbon copy of his own boyhood face. “I am Balinor Pendwagon! Son of Awthur Pendwagon and I challenge you father for your thwrone!”

Chapter Text

Seven Years Ago

Arthur’s heart had no right to be pounding so loudly in his chest. Especially when the only thing that could be possibly causing it was his annoying servant in front of him. Merlin was humming, humming to himself as he mopped the floors as if he was some fairy-tale come to life. There was no reason the sight of him bent over like that should be causing Arthur’s heart to pound in his chest. Maybe he needed to go speak to Gaius about a check-up. Yes, he must be coming down with something. That made a hell of a lot more sense.

He was so caught up in staring at the sight in front of him that he missed the person sneaking up behind him until all of a sudden Gwen’s laugh was in his ear. “You have it bad, don’t you, my lord.” She giggled.

Arthur gave her his best glare. “Have what?”

“You know, you could just tell him instead of silently pining away over here.” She gave him a wink. “You might be surprised what he thinks of you.”

“I’m not pinn—” Arthur’s protest was quickly trampled over for his interest in her second comment. “What does he think of me?”

She gave him a playful shove. “Ask him, my lord, and perhaps you’ll get your answer.”

Arthur stumbled into the room. The sound of his boots far too loud compared to Merlin’s gentle humming. Merlin stopped scrubbing long enough to glare up and smiled at the sight of Arthur.

Smiled like he was seeing the sun for the first time after a long winter and why the hell did he have to look at Arthur like that! He quickly tried to cover it up with his usual irritated expression, but Arthur had seen through that long ago. “Couldn’t wait for me to finish before giving me more chores, huh?”

Chores, yes, chores. He could easily explain his presence there staring at his servant when he was supposed to already be at another meeting if he had come to give him chores.

“I don’t care what other things you have to do tonight; you will clear your schedule for the evening.” Arthur ordered. “Bring two plates to my chambers tonight for dinner and make sure you’re there on time for once.”

“Since when do you have guests in your chambers for dinner? Some special lady I don’t know about?”

“Not everyone likes ladies, Merlin.” Arthur snapped, saying the words before he even considered their meaning. “And did I say anyone else was coming?”

“But…” Merlin’s beaming smile was back, and this time Arthur couldn’t ignore the heat gathering on his cheeks. “Oh…I’ll be there right on time, sire.”

“You better.” Arthur was just walking away when suddenly Merlin was right at his back.

He leaned over, his breath a sultry kiss against his skin. “And what will you do to me if I am not?”

Arthur turned back; his own lips so close to touching Merlin’s so each word pressed against lips. “Make you regret it.”

Present Day

The whole room had gone dead silent. Nothing could be heard but the wild pounding in Arthur’s chest. The kid’s words were still reverberating in his ears and hadn’t yet processed through his mind.

Had he just said…

Now, even Gwaine didn’t seem to find the situation funny. No one dared breath before Arthur did.

It wasn’t possible. Arthur had only been with one person. One person he had not seen in over six years. One person he had spent every day since thinking about. One person he could almost swear an exact copy of his eyes were staring back at him.

Arthur was up and out of the throne before anyone could blink. He collapsed in front of the boy, staring up into his face as he searched out every sign of the man he had loved more than life itself. And he found him. He was in the high curve of his cheeks, still plump with baby fat. He was in the glint of his eyes, perhaps not the color which more resembled his own, but in the shape of them, the fierceness. He was obviously in his ears, the way they stuck out just a little and made Arthur want to play with them.

“Your father,” Arthur had meant it to be a demand and instead it was a plea. “Who is your father?”

Someone else finally dared speak. “Eh, Princess, he just said...”

“Daddy said you’re my father.” The boy insisted stubbornly. “That means you have to fight me and when I defeat you, I get to wrule.”

“Who’s your daddy?” Arthur corrected.

The answer he gave was a surprise only to those around him. “Merlin.”

Three shocked, “WHAT!”s echoed through the chamber.

Arthur on the other hand felt something resembling relief spread through him. He had a son with Merlin. The love they had shared with each other creating something more beautiful than Arthur had ever dreamed. It hadn’t been for nothing. All those years apart hadn’t been a waste, because Merlin had been safe to raise their child.

Their child who was now staring at him in that irritated way Merlin always did when Arthur ignored him for too long.

“You know, if you don’t accept my challenge, then you…you…” he paused as if trying to come up with the word. His eyes lit up as he was suddenly sure he had remembered it. “Then you for-feed.”

“Forfeit?” Lancelot tentatively supplied.

“Yeah, for-feed.” He repeated still saying it wrong.

Despite his lisp, and a few mistakes, he seemed to have quite the way with words for a child of his age. Then of course any child of theirs would be smart.

Arthur couldn’t help but smile at the child. “I’m not going to fight you. That’s not what father’s do. Fathers don’t hurt their children, no matter what.”

That was the one undeniable lesson he had learned from his own father. Not that his father had ever lived by that rule. No, quite the opposite. Hence why Arthur had sworn that if he had children, no matter their mistakes, he would never raise a single finger against them.

“But,” what Arthur hadn’t expected was for his answer to bring a quiver to his lips and tears to the boy’s eyes. “You have to fight me.” He was obviously trying to sound strong, but his voice was wobbling. “I have to win and be king!”

Arthur couldn’t help but be charmed by his determination. He was very much Merlin’s son. “Sure. One day, but we’ll have to talk to your Daddy about that first. You don’t need to fight me for the crown. We can talk about that later though. Right now, I think we need to get you back to your daddy. He must be worried sick about you.”

That seemed to be the last straw. Stray tears turned to wailing sobs.

Suddenly the whole room panicked. None of them had ever dealt with a sobbing child. Everyone was rushing forward all at once. Gwaine and Lancelot literally running into each other to get to him. Gwen was coming up behind him and petting the back of his head as she whispered quiet assurances. Arthur was still on his knees in front of him wanting to reach out to brush his tears away, but afraid his unfamiliar touch would be unwelcome.

Between the tears, Balinor tried to say something more, but it was impossible to understand. All Arthur knew was that for this child who has journeyed all by himself to Camelot to challenge a king to be suddenly in tears he must be in a lot of pain. And Arthur couldn’t stand to see him in pain anymore than he had ever been able to stand seeing Merlin.

Screwing his nervousness and insecurity, he reached out and pulled Balinor into his arms. He was so small. So much smaller than he had even looked. Yet he fit perfectly against his chest. His tiny hands fisting around Arthur’s shirt as if to pull Arthur closer to him. He tucked his head against Arthur’s shoulder and continued to cry.

“It’s alright. It’s okay now. You’re okay.” Arthur assured. They were the words he had so often hoped to hear from his father in those early years when the world felt too much. Words he had never heard.

They seemed to have at least some affect, and slowly but surely, his tears slowed into little hiccups.

“There now.” Arthur kept him in his arms, but he moved his head so that he could meet his eyes. “Whatever is wrong, just tell me, and I swear to you I will do everything in my power to fix it.”

“You promise?” He asked. The way he was looking at Arthur too earnest to deny.

“I promise.”

“Then you need to make me king wright now, so I can haves an army.”

“Why do you need an army?” Arthur pressed.

“To…” he sniffled, “…to save Daddy.”

Arthur’s heart dropped. What he had thought his son’s presence meant was a chance for Arthur to return the young runaway to Merlin and finally reunite with his lost love had become something more sinister.

“What?”

“Bad people found us.” The boy cried. “And they took Daddy. They hurt him bad and they took him away.”

Someone had taken Merlin. Someone had hurt him. And they had done it in front of Balinor. Arthur couldn’t imagine how terrifying it must have been for him to watch the only parent he knew he hurt and taken away. Yet, he’d gathered up his courage and went in search of an army to save his father. Gods he had known his child all of ten minutes and he didn’t think he could love him more.

Arthur hugged him once again. “It’s going to be alright. Your daddy is so strong, and I know he’s alive wherever he is. And I’m going to keep my promise okay. I’m going to use all my power to save him and bring him home.”

Chapter Text

Five Years Ago

The pain was bearable. At least now it was. The first few times the lash had cut so deep that he almost swore he could feel bits of flesh dangling from his mangled back. Now, he had become numb to the pain. Whatever scarred mess that was left of his back barely felt anything anymore. The only thing that was uncomfortable was the way the chains pulled at his wrists. They had become so thin now, thinner than even when he was a boy. Which meant his father had had to have a special set of shackles made just for his withering wrists. Uther had them installed on the back wall of his own room. So even those few days when he was left alone to his thoughts, they mocked him, reminded him of what would come if he didn’t adhere to his father’s wishes.

It was only twenty lashes today. He had been caught trying to sneak out of his chambers again. It hadn’t been his most elegant plan, in fact he hadn’t thought it would work at all, but he’d needed to try. For a while he thought he might make it, until one of the few servants Uther trusted to clean his chambers found the mending needle he had stolen and been using to try and pick the lock.

As the last lash struck him, his legs couldn’t hold out anymore. He found himself falling forward into the wall. His lip cracking open with the impact enough that he tasted blood.

“Pathetic!” A hand was clawing into what was left of his hair and pulling his head back. Uther snarled down at him. His fury something that had become more familiar than the man he had once thought he knew. “Can’t even take twenty lashes, boy? I raised you to be stronger than that.” Each word he spit at him had just as much impact as the whip, landing numbly against his chest.

Arthur didn’t bother to respond. Anything he said would only make it worse. Arguing made him “an ungrateful slut”. Agreeing made him “a pathetic simp”. Some part of Arthur was starting to think that maybe his father was right. He had become so pathetic. Nothing more than Uther’s punching bag.

Still it was better this way. He could take it. He could take anything knowing that Merlin was out there somewhere free and safe. If Uther had caught Merlin that day almost a year ago now, he would have done far worse than this. He would have tortured him, and then made Arthur watch him burn. Arthur knew because Uther had described only yesterday what he wished to do to Merlin in great detail.

“You may think he got away, but soon I’ll find your little whore. I’ll make him pay for every single day he eluded me with a thin little slice from my sharpest blade. Three-hundred and twenty-eight so far. Do you know what that many cuts would do to a person? There wouldn’t be enough of him left to recognize. But don’t worry, I won’t deliver them all at once. Oh no, wouldn’t want him to die on me too fast. I’d make sure to draw him only to the brink of death and then let him heal so soon he’ll be begging me to end it.”

But he hadn’t caught him. Arthur had warned Merlin in time, and he had escaped. Now Uther’s only toy was Arthur.

Arthur had adjusted to this new life. He’d learn to live in the shadows of Merlin’s absence and to stand under the weight of his father’s abuse.

At first, he had fought against it with all his strength. He’d taken out more than a few of his Uther’s guards in his earliest attempts. But no matter how great a warrior he was, he’d been unable to fight a whole army under Uther’s command. After that, Uther had starved him out. Withheld food and water just enough that the muscles he had built over a lifetime turned to nothing more than loose skin and bone.

Even then, Arthur had refused to give in. His spirit unbreakable compared to the weakness of his body. At least he thought so, until his father figured out a way to steal even that from him. When Arthur still refused to admit defeat, Uther began to turn his wrath towards the people. He harmed them in anyway he could until all Arthur could hear were the starving cries of his people from the window.

After that, Arthur let Uther do as he pleased. Most the time he simply kept Arthur locked away and out of sight. According to most of the kingdom, Arthur had become bedridden after an accident in battle. Only Uther’s most trusted servants and soldiers knew his true state.

Arthur hadn’t realized how far his mind had traveled. He hadn’t heard his father ask him a question. He knew only that he hadn’t give the correct answer when Uther used his grip of Arthur’s hair to slam his face into the wall again. “I said aren’t you ashamed of yourself?”

“Yes, my king.” He muttered; each word choked with his own blood.

With an aggravated sigh, Uther released his head. “I never should have traded your mother for such a useless son.” His footsteps disappeared out the door, leaving him dangling in his own blood.

Arthur closed his eyes and gently pressed his forehead against the cold stone. Darkness was tugging at his mind. He let it take him as he knew the sweet things that lay within its embrace. There in the dark there was no blood or pain, only memories of warmth and love, only memories of Merlin.

Present Day

As Balinor’s tears subsided, Arthur realized he had gone unnaturally quiet for a child. He shifted him enough to get a look at his face to see he had cried himself to sleep. While a part of him was humbled by the fact Balinor felt safe enough with Arthur to let his guard down, the parental half of him worried what all he must have endured to be so exhausted.

He needed to be examined, feed, bathed, and given a place to rest. It was his duty now to care for Balinor as Merlin must have for so many years. Even though he was worried about Merlin, their son came first. They might not have seen each other for many years, but Arthur was sure Merlin would tear into him if he didn’t.

“I am taking him to Gaius.” Arthur announced. “Gwen, I would appreciate it if you came with me. I need to know everything he told you before you brought him to me. Lancelot, I fear this business might take a few days. Speak with Leon about taking over my duties for the time being and have George clear my schedule completely. And Gwaine, I need you to prepare the men and supplies. If Balinor is right and we need an army to get Merlin back, I want to be ready as quickly as possible. But for now, keep the reason between our core knights. For Balinor’s safety his identity must remain a secret for now.”

His friends all blinked at him for a moment too long.

“I gave an order, now go.” Arthur commanded.

Lancelot and Gwaine bowed before hurrying off to obey.

“What the hell was that about?” Arthur addressed to Gwen.

She smiled at him. “You simply sounded…regal your majesty. In a way you haven’t for quite some time.” Leave it to Gwen to not be afraid to speak her mind. She was right. He had been uncomfortable with his role as King since he took the throne, but Arthur hadn’t realized how much that struggle had affected his appearance to his people.

“Come then, we need to get him to Gaius.” As Arthur hurried towards the physician’s chambers, he finally got to the real questions he wanted to ask Gwen. “Do you have any idea how long he’s been alone? How he got here?”

“No, he really didn’t say much. He approached me just as I was entering the palace this morning and directly asked me if I was Gwen. I think maybe he was waiting there for me. I was confused at first why a child would know who I was, but then he pulled back his hood and he looked so much like Merlin…”

Arthur took a moment to look down at the sleeping boy in his arms. He did indeed look like Merlin, though now that he was closer Arthur could see bits of himself there too.

“It just made sense. I mean, Merlin has been gone for six years now, and the boy is younger than that. And he would have been one of the few people who would have known me well enough to tell their child so much about me he would recognize me by sight. Then he said he had an urgent request to make of you. But I didn’t think…I didn’t imagine that he would be… Arthur, are you sure it’s even possible that he is…?”

Arthur couldn’t help but blush a little at that. “Look, I can’t explain the mechanics of how it’s possible either. We’ll leave that explanation to Gaius and maybe Merlin himself, but…” Gods he couldn’t stop staring at the sleeping boy’s face. “He’s ours. This is no trick or lie. I know it in my soul.”

Gwen had always had too many smiles for Arthur, each one meant something different. There was her sweet smile, her frustrated smile, he proud smile, and about a dozen more Arthur had learned over the years of having her as a friend. But there was a very particular smile she used to give him when she saw him with Merlin. A smile he had never exactly been able to name. It nearly resembled that gooey romantic one she had when talked about stories of true love and happy endings. It was a smile Arthur hadn’t gotten from her for a long time.

“Do you think…” Arthur choked back the question he was about to ask, feeling a bit too foolish for it. Then thought better as Gwen had long ago fielded much sillier questions from him. “Do you think he’ll hate me, for not having been there all this time.”

Arthur didn’t specify whether he meant Merlin or Balinor, but it seemed he didn’t have too. The answer was the same for both. “When they understand why, no. They’d never hate you, Arthur.”

Finally they had made it to Gaius’s chambers. Gaius had seen many strange things in all his years as a physician and rarely reacted no matter what burst through his door. But seeing a mini Merlin/Arthur mix asleep in the King’s arms was definitely something new.

“I would say you should sit down for this, but I need you to examine him first.” Arthur walked over to the patient cot on the other side of the room and a little reluctantly laid the boy down.

“And who exactly is my patient?” Gaius asked as he leaned over the boy.

Arthur did his best to explain what little he knew. Gaius didn’t say a word as he listened.  In fact, he didn’t seem surprised at all about Balinor’s identity. It didn’t take much to realize what that meant. “You knew, didn’t you?”

Gaius gave Arthur a sideways glace before blowing out a long sigh. “No, though I had my suspicions.” The old physician for once didn’t need prompting to explain himself. “Just before everything that happened with your father, Merlin had been acting…different. He was more tired than usual, refused his meals in the morning, but by the evening he was eating nearly twice as much as usual. I had thought it little more than the stress he was under then. That is until he posed an odd question to me. He asked me if there was another way to maintain the bloodline of the dragon lords should he never lay with a woman. I assumed he was asking because he did not have a preference for women but feared his choice might doom the dragons. So I consulted my books. Only by the time I found the answer, he was gone, and I haven’t seen nor heard from his since.”

Merlin was a dragon lord. He had known Merlin had magic but hadn’t made the connection before. Now, he knew why the name Balinor had sounded familiar when it came from his son’s lips. Years ago, when the great dragon had attacked Camelot, they had sought out the last dragon lord, Balinor. Arthur remembered more than a few whispered conversations between them, that Balinor had sacrificed his life to save Merlin and Merlin had sobbed over him.

Balinor had been Merlin’s father and he had named their son after him. Leave it to Merlin to be so sweet and sentimental after all.

Arthur had so many questions about the revelation, but those answers would have to wait until he found Merlin again. So instead he asked. “What answer did you find to his query?”

“As you may not know, the power of the dragon lord is always passed from father to son upon the death of the former. Therefore the line would end should a dragon lord die without an heir, and so would the dragons. However, since their bloodline is protected by magic, then magic itself will do whatever is necessary to ensure their continued legacy. A hundred years ago, there was a dragon lord much like Merlin, who loved a man and his magic allowed him to carry a child.”

So that was how Balinor had been born. It was a wonderful, beautiful thing. A rare gift that was theirs and theirs alone. Still that fact didn’t erase the sting of guilt that he had abandoned Merlin all alone during such a confusing time. Had he known when he asked Gaius the question that he was carrying their child already? Had he discovered it only after Arthur cruelly sent him away? Had he thought of telling Arthur? Or had he fears Arthur would reject having a magical child?

It was all too much. Arthur collapsed onto one of Gaius’s chairs and placed his head in his hands.

“I never should have let him go.” He said brokenly. He knew he was king now, and he couldn’t fall apart like this. He had promised himself he would never fall apart again when he built himself back up after Uther’s defeat. Yet he couldn’t help the painful clutch of his lungs or the way his throat tightened.

Gwen. Wonderful Gwen who had been there beside him as a friend the whole time hugged him. “You did what you thought was right to protect him.”

“I could have gone with him.” Arthur argued, even though he knew it wasn’t true. If he had escaped with Merlin that day, then his father would have never rested until he found them both. Merlin would have never been safe, and gods forbid if his father had discovered a child had come from their union.

“Merlin wouldn’t have let you. He never wanted you to abandon your kingdom or your people, even for him.” Gwen said.

“I did anyway.” He’d spent years locked away, unable to help himself let alone his people.

“No, you never stopped protecting everyone. You need to stop punishing yourself for Uther’s cruelty.” Gwen always had a way of getting right to the heart of the matter.

Arthur needed to focus on something else, anything else. So he turned back to Gaius who seemed to have finished his examination. “Is he alright?”

“Physically there’s nothing wrong with him. He’s a healthy, well-nourished if very tired young boy. In fact, I would say it’s surprising how good his condition is. If we assume that he traveled at minimum from somewhere outside Camelot’s lands alone, he should be in a much worse state. I don’t think he walked here, sire.” Gaius said. “I think he used magic.”

Magic. He wasn’t surprised the boy could have magic. He was half Merlin’s after all.

Well, if Gaius was correct and Balinor was alright, then he could turn his attention back to Merlin. “Gwen, can you watch over him while Gaius and I try to find a way to find where Merlin is and who took him?”

“I don’t need a baby-sitter.” Balinor mumbled in the sleepiest voice Arthur would have assumed he was sleep talking if his eyes hadn’t been blinking open. He rubbed at them with a closed fist and gave a single short tiny yawn that was so cute Arthur wished he would do it again. “Beswides, only I can find Daddy.”

Chapter Text

Seven Years Ago

Arthur couldn’t help but feel that this was a much better way to be woken up then by Merlin’s incessant prodding. It tasted much sweeter at least. Then again, Arthur had become extremely addicted to the flavor of Merlin’s lips as of late, so any chance to taste them was appreciated.

Despite being a prince, Arthur had never considered himself spoiled. That was at least until he started sneaking Merlin into his bed at night. When he did, he would fall asleep after making love to him and wake up to his sweet kisses. Was there anything better than that in all the world?

“Good morning, sire.” Merlin had once used that title as a sly insult, but now, his favorite way of using it was with an entitled purr. Because he was the only one who Arthur would ever allow to use it in such a way, and he would never stop taking advantage of that. Sometimes, he would even whisper it into his ear at council meetings as he pretended to give him information just to watch him squirm. Or there was the time he had said it before Arthur went on the field for a tournament as he promised him what reward should be granted should he win.

Just because they were in love didn’t mean Merlin had any intention of ever stopping annoying Arthur or embarrassing him every chance he got.

Well, two could play at this game.

“Good morning, love.” Arthur whispered back in that deep voice that made Merlin shiver all the way down to his toes. He punctuated it with a tiny bite below his ear, earning him a pleased squeak from Merlin.

Merlin wasted no time leaning in to kiss him again. And again. And again until there was almost no breath left between them. The man was absolutely insatiable in the mornings. Leave it to Merlin to be a morning person.

Before Arthur knew it, Merlin was straddling him as his kisses started trailing farther down his body. “Merlin.” Arthur said with a laugh. “We have to get up. I have training with the knights in less than an hour.”

Merlin paused in his kisses long enough to say. “A lot can happen in less than an hour.”

“Yes,” Arthur argued. “Like getting dressed, and eating breakfast, and putting on my chainmail, Merlin. You know, two years as my manservant and I am still having to explain these things to you.”

Merlin groaned but rolled off of him. “Yeah, because you’d be able to handle a competent manservant better.”

Now Arthur was rolling after him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means, you like that I’m the worst. Because if I was competent, you would actually have to show up to meetings on time or wouldn’t be able to use the excuse of me not finishing the laundry to wear your favorite shirt two days in a row, or wouldn’t get to miss out on morning drills because I forgot to grab your armor.”

“Are you suggesting that your cluelessness is for my benefit?”

“Yup,” he replied cheerfully, “if you only knew all the sacrifices I made for you, sire. You wouldn’t worry about being late and would pin me to this bed and reward me for my excellent services.”

Arthur burst out laughing. He leaned forward and to press a kiss to Merlin’s lips. “No matter how you dress it up, you’ll never stop being my adorable idiot.”

Merlin turned away in a pout. “Go ahead and call me whatever you want, just remember I am the one who fetches your breakfast.”

Rather than respond Arthur simply remain in his position waiting for the kiss he knew Merlin would never deny him. He pouted for a few seconds longer before giving in. Only it was much more than the simply loving peck Arthur had intended.

As he pulled away, Arthur blew out a long sigh. “If only my father wasn’t going to be over seeing training today, I would say screw it and take you back to bed.”

Though Merlin gave no visible reaction, it was obvious the atmosphere had gone cold at the mention of the king.

Without another word, Merlin pulled his shirt back on and fumbled with the buckle on his belt. “I’ll go fetch your breakfast, then shall I.” Only his hands didn’t seem coordinated enough to loop it through.

Arthur approached him cautiously, almost like he would a spooked animal. He didn’t understand why the mention of his father always elicited such a reaction from Merlin, but it had happened too many times now for him to ignore it any longer.

“Hey,” Arthur gently brushed his hands away and arranged the belt for him. The reverse of rolls leaving Merlin feeling awkward of how to respond. “I know he can be rough and a bit frightening at times, but he’s my father. He won’t harm you.”

Merlin didn’t respond. He simply turned out of Arthur’s arms fleeing for the door.

“Merlin,” Arthur grabbed his wrist gently pulling him back. “I am saying that because I would never let him harm you. I would never let anyone harm you.”

His vow was rewarded with a tender smile and a hand brushing along the line of his jaw. “I know. That’s what scares me.”

Before he could say another word, Merlin pressed up to kiss him, short and sweet. Then he rushed towards the door. “Be back in a jiff, don’t miss me too much!”

Present Day

“What do you mean you’re the only one who can find Merlin?” Arthur asked.

Only, the boy completely ignored him. His gaze on the physician. “Are you Uncle Gaius?” He asked excitedly.

“Yes.” Gaius answered, stepping closer to the boy. “I knew your father, Merlin very well.”

“I know! He told me lots of stories about you. Like that funny time with the goblin.” Balinor said with a giggle.

If it was possible for the old man to turn red anymore, he sure did now. “Oh my.”

“A goblin?” Arthur questioned.

“Nothing worth hearing about, my lord.” Gaius waved the question away. “Now, Balinor, could you please explain what you meant. It is very important that we find your father quickly and there is no time to waste.”

Balinor nodded. “Sometimes when daddy is busy, I like to play in the forest with all the aminals. But one time I got lost and I cried a lot and Daddy cried a lot until he found me. He was very sad when I was lost and gave me this so it wouldn’t happen again.” He fished under his shirt and pulled a small compass on a chain.

There was nothing special too it. Other than the fact that there was no directions on the compass, only a needle that was pointing back towards the boy. “This helps me find Daddy if we get supper ated.”

Arthur leaned down to look at it. “So this points to wherever your daddy is?”

Balinor nodded.

“Do you think I could borrow it for a little while?” Arthur asked.

The boy quickly grabbed it back, clutching it like it was his own heart. “No! I need it to find Daddy. I need it to save him.”

“I know, and it’s so brave of you that you want to save your daddy.” Arthur gently brushed the hair back from his face. “But we don’t even know who it is that took your daddy. It’s too dangerous for you to come with us as long as we don’t know how powerful they are.”

He realized his mistake in his wording as he watched Balinor calculating. “So, if you know who took Daddy, then I could come?”

Arthur fumbled, “Well, I didn’t say—” but he didn’t get to finish explaining what he’d meant before Balinor was jumping onto the cot, so he was tall enough to reach Arthur’s head where he was crouching.

“Then I’ll show you.”

Tiny hands touched his temples and suddenly he was no longer standing in Gaius’s chambers.

He was sitting at a kitchen table in a small wooden cottage.  A warm summer breeze slipped into the room through an open window. Yet it wasn’t the early morning light or the dozens of potion vials and spell books all over the room that caught his attention, it was the familiar sweet humming melody behind him.

The image shifted to look back at a poorly built kitchen where Merlin stood over a pan of frying eggs. Arthur’s heart leapt at the sight of him. For six years all he had had were fragmented memories and illusive dreams of what Merlin looked like. But now, he was somehow seeing him again. He drank up every detail of him. He hadn’t changed at all in the six years they had been apart, other than it looked like he had somehow gotten a bit skinner if that were possible. His hair was styled the same way and he made out the tied edge of his neckerchief peaking out from under his dark locks.

Then he turned around with a beaming smile. “Look at you, washed up and waiting patiently for your breakfast for once.” Then his eyes narrowed in that playful teasing manner they always did. “Tell me who you are and what you have done with my little Baby Bal?”

That’s when Arthur realized what he was seeing. He was watching Balinor’s memory somehow.

Balinor giggled. “I’m not a baby anymore, Daddy.”

Merlin dramatically through his hand over his eyes as if he were upset. “No, my Baby Bal would never make me sad and grow up too fast. You must have been replaced.”

The conversation only seemed to make Balinor laugh harder. “Daddy. You’re being silly. It’s wrelly me. I promise.”

“Well, if you promise, then I guess I’ll just have to believe you.” Merlin walked over with the pan depositing two eggs onto the plate in front of Balinor, while the rest were placed on the one across from him.

Gods could Merlin be more wonderful? Even from this small glimpse of their lives it was so obvious that Merlin had raised Balinor up with all the love he possessed. Yet the happy moment was quickly interrupted.

Balinor had done little more than scooped up a bite of food before Merlin’s whole body went tense. Arthur had seen that expression on him before. For too long he’d been ignorant of what it meant, but now he recognized it all to clearly. Merlin was sensing danger.

He jumped onto his feet and rushed towards the window. Balinor had stopped eating to watch what was happening. But before he could ask a single question, Merlin had slammed the window shut and run towards the door. He threw the lock.

Strange words spilled from his mouth and a glimmering golden sheen spread over the door like a shield.

Balinor was standing up from the table. “Daddy?”

A loud boom rattled the whole cottage and Balinor screamed, throwing his hands over his head. Then strong arms were lifting him up and running towards a small closet. Merlin pulled open the door and set Balinor down inside.

“Daddy! What’s happening?”

Another explosion sounded, and this time as he watched Merlin, he saw him flinch almost as if it had hit him. Still, Merlin kept on a smile, though Arthur could see the fear behind it.

“The bad sorcerers have found us, baby. I don’t know how they got through my wards, but they’re here. But don’t worry. Everything is going to be okay.” Merlin pet Balinor’s hair out of his face like a frantic tick.

“I’m scared.” Balinor said, his voice heavy with tears.

“I know. But nothing is going to happen to you. You’re going to stay right here and not make any sound. Daddy is going to stop them, okay. Daddy won’t let anyone get to you.”

“B..but…but…”

“You stay hidden. No matter what you stay hidden until I tell you that it’s safe.” Merlin leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Balinor’s forehead, linger a few seconds too long.

Another blast rocked the cottage and Merlin grunted in pain.

He pulled back. “Never forget I love you, Balinor.”

The sound of the door cracking open echoed through the small room. Without finishing his sentence, Merlin threw the door closed.

Balinor was suddenly thrown into the dark, except for a small crack between the planks of the door. He couldn’t see much through it, but he could see the gray cloaked figures walking into the house and surrounding Merlin.

Merlin stood calmly, his hands posed at his side as if readying for an attack.

“Did you really think you could hide from us forever, Emrys?” One of them said.

Merlin gave them no satisfaction of an answer.

“Give us what we want, or we’ll take it for ourselves.”

“Never.” Merlin snarled. “You made a big mistake coming here.” It was only then that Arthur noticed the heaviness in the air was more than tension. Something else was building in the air and as it grew stronger, he could see little crackles of gold forming at Merlin’s feet.

“You may be the strongest, Emrys. But even your strength doesn’t outweigh us all.” Another figure warned.

“We’ll see about that.”

Lightning exploded in the house, striking all the cloaked men. Two of them collapsed on the floor, but the others barely fell to their knees from the attack. Those were the ones who threw black fireballs at Merlin. He tried to defend, but soon the battle shifted out of Balinor’s sight.

He could still hear the explosions and grunts of pain as the group fought, but it was impossible to know who was winning or losing. That is until suddenly Merlin’s body was thrown across the room and crashed into the kitchen table. Merlin collapsed on the broken pile of wood and plates that had only minutes ago been their happy breakfast.

The men surrounded him again. Merlin struggled to stand up, but his arms and legs refused to move beneath him. There was blood on his head, dripping down into his eye, and even more of it puddling on the floor below him.

Balinor had been right. They had hurt him very badly. For him to be losing blood so quickly meant the wound was not minor.

“I told you that you weren’t strong enough to fight us all.”

Still Merlin didn’t give up. He spat at the lot of them. “Fuck you.”

“Tell us where the boy is.” One of them demanded.

The only response was Merlin’s panting breath.

“Search the house. He won’t be far.” The same one ordered.

Balinor silently moved farther back into the closet.

“Stop.” Merlin moaned as the men tore the small house apart. “You don’t need him. Take what you want from me and be gone.”

“You never understood it’s not one nor the other we want. We need both of you to complete the prophecy, Emyrs.”

“You’ll never touch him!” Merlin snarled.

“Oh, but I think we will. Even if your magic is making him invisible to us, I doubt any boy could stand here and watch his father die. We need only your magic, and that we can harvest from you even when your dead.” The man said. “Do you hear that boy? If you don’t come out, your father will die right here.”

Even though he was watching it from Balinor’s point of view, Arthur knew he had the same reaction as Merlin to Balinor’s next action. He threw open the closet door, rushing into the middle of the room. “No, Daddy!”

“Balinor, no!” Merlin surged up despite the pain in his body and wrapped himself around Balinor. He was bleeding sluggishly. The magic he had used flickering to create a field strong enough to protect him both, but it was quickly fading.

Merlin stared straight into Balinor’s eyes. “I don’t have much power left, but I have enough to send you to safety. Do not come back for me, do you understand? Go straight to Camelot. Find Gwen and she’ll take you to your father. He’ll keep you safe. No matter what, he’ll protect you.”

“No, Daddy! I won’t leave you.” Balinor sobbed.

“You have to. You have to my baby.” Tears were streaming down Merlin’s face even as the last of his magic was gathering around Balinor. “And when you find him tell your father—”

Everything went white.

And Arthur snapped awake back in Gaius’s room. He was staring into his son’s eyes blown away by the violence he had barely managed to escape. All the information he had just learn swirled wildly through his head and the only response he could make was to hold Balinor tight as Merlin had.

When Arthur could finally speak, he asked, “Was that this morning? Was Merlin’s spell what transported you here?”

He nodded. “I woke up in the forest and I cried for a long time befores I saw the castle from Daddy’s stories. So, I followed it and found Gwen just like he told me.”

“You did such a good job. Your Daddy is going to be so proud of you.”

“But you saw them, didn’t you? You saw the people who took Daddy so now you have to let me come with you.”

The only thing that vision had done was affirmed the need to keep Balinor far away from those men. But saying so to the poor traumatized child would only make the situation worse.

“We’ll talk about that after you’ve had some proper food and a bath.” It was only now that Arthur was seeing the blood stains that nearly blended in with his dark clothes. “I have to speak with the knights first before we’ll even be ready to leave, alright. So why don’t you go with Gwen, and I will get everything ready.”

He eyed Arthur suspiciously but nodded. “Okay.”

Gwen held out a hand for him. “Come on. We can go down to the kitchens together and you can pick anything you want to eat.”

“Anything?” Balinor asked.

“Of course,” she said.

As he was distracted running towards the door, Arthur whispered to her. “When you have him in the bath, have one of the servants bring me that compass. Then stay here with him and don’t let him out of your sight.”

“Of course. I’ll do anything for that poor boy.” Gwen agreed. “And Merlin.”

It was hard to watch his son go even though he had had so little time with him. But he knew if he was going to rescue Merlin, he couldn’t bring him along. Arthur had no idea why Merlin had entrusted him with Balinor’s safety after so long of being apart, but he wouldn’t let him down. For now though his focus had to be on Merlin.

If that vision had happened only that morning, he was likely still alive. The men wouldn’t allow him to die before they had the boy. They would likely find a way to use Merlin as leverage to get him. It was likely they wouldn’t expect a King and his knights to arrive instead of a small boy.

“Gaius, would you come with me to speak with the knights. I believe your knowledge will be very helpful in preparing for this mission.” Arthur requested.

“Of course.”

With that, Arthur headed out to meet up with the others. This could be the most important war plan of his entire life.

Chapter Text

Four Years Ago

Arthur didn’t even stir when the door opened anymore. After two years of being held captive in his own room, he had learned that nothing good ever came through that door anymore.

At best it might be a servant bringing him food, although that was few and far between. Uther was more than happy to let him starve for a few days at a time before he bothered to have anything sent up to him. And even when he did the meals usually consisted of the bare minimum of sustenance to keep him alive. The last thing he wanted was to give Arthur enough food to build up strength and try to escape again.

Sometimes, if he was really lucky it was only a servant come to clean the room. At least then they would leave him alone in whatever corner of the room he’d passed out in. All the furniture including the bed he had once shared with Merlin had been removed. Most likely burned as well.

Usually the only one who entered was Uther, drunk off wine or his own angry and looking for a target. Though over time those had become fewer. Perhaps his father had grown bored of beating a man who couldn’t fight back. Or worse yet, the mad king was starting to forget about him. Then one day he wouldn’t remember ever having a son, and he would forget to send any food or water and finally Arthur would wither away.

Once or twice it had been a physician that his father trusted who entered. Those times had been only because his father had beaten past the point he could heal on his own. Most of his memories of those instances were hazy at best.

No matter who it was, there was one undeniable fact he had learned. Any touch meant pain or punishment. So when a hand gripped his shoulder to roll him over Arthur jerked away with a scream.

“Oh gods.”

But instead of his father, he stared at a face he hadn’t seen in a long time. Honestly, it was the fact that he hadn’t seen Lancelot in years that made him believe he was real and not a hallucination like the times saw Merlin with him.

“Lan…celot?” Arthur whispered. His voice was still raw from yesterday’s screams.

“What has he done to you?” Tears were forming in Lancelot’s eyes. “I’m so sorry, Arthur. We didn’t…we couldn’t…we should have found a way to get to you quicker.”

Arthur didn’t understand. How was he here? Why was he here?

Last, he had seen of Lancelot he’d been forced by Uther to banish the brave knight from the kingdom simply because he didn’t have noble blood. It made no sense for him to suddenly been in his chambers that Uther never allowed a soul he didn’t trust inside of.

Lancelot schooled his face, grabbing for a set of keys on his belt. He slotted one of them into his cuffs and with a snick the metal popped open. For the first time in so long, his hands were free from chains. All Arthur could do was stare at them. They looked unfamiliar without the silver metal and so thin he could make out his own bones.

“Come on, my Lord. Up you get.” Lancelot was grabbing under his shoulders and pulling him up to a sitting position against the wall. Then he turned his attention to the shackles around his ankles.

It took a full minute for Arthur to process what he’s said. Lancelot had called him ‘my lord’. It had been years since anyone had referred to him with a title or even an ounce of respect.

Arthur couldn’t comprehend how any of this was happening. His mind had become so lost in the last two years.

“Have to say, Arthur. I’m really surprised I’m not getting any questions from you.”

Oh, had he not said any of them aloud? He’d thought he had.

“Let me correct, I’m really worried I’m not getting any questions from you.” Lancelot rephrased. He kept talking like he wanted him to speak. “Come on. We planned the rescue of the century and you’re not even going to ask how we did it.”

“How?” Arthur forced the question out very carefully to ensure he actually said it this time.

Having gotten his response, Lancelot gave a thin smile. “Gwen started it all really. Gathered a band of us together to find out the truth of what had happened to you. She never believed the stories, that you had been attacked by your own manservant, Merlin, who had been a secret sorcerer and that you’d been driven mad and had to be kept contained for your own safety until he could find a cure. I mean, who would ever believe that Merlin would do all that?”

“Merlin?” It came as no surprise that Uther would have claimed him mad and honestly, he didn’t care. But for the first time in two years hope that maybe Merlin had come back for him began to blossom in his chest. “Is he…?”

Lancelot frowned at him. “I… I don’t know, Arthur. We tried to find him too, but wherever he is, he’s hidden his tracks well.”

Arthur let his eyes fall closed again, the hope dying in his chest once again.

Either oblivious to Arthur’s bitter disappoint or because of it, Lancelot kept telling his story. “No one really believed you were gone. I’m embarrassed to say it took far too long to figure out that Uther was hiding you right under everyone’s nose. The worst part was that we knew so long as Uther was king and commanded the army, we couldn’t break inside by force to get you out. So, we had to play the long game. We all banded together and never stopped trying to get to you, Arthur. And now, now I’m going to get you out.”

Why risk his life for this? For a man who was too broken to be fixed again? Though those questions were too long to say, so all he asked was, “Why?”

“I know the time I served you was short and filled with lies, but you are the only thing I will ever serve. And if it’s the last thing I do, I will help you reclaim your rightful place, because as well as being my king, you’re my friend, Arthur.”

Arthur hadn’t thought himself capable of crying anymore. Yet he recognized the wet sensation spilling down his cheeks.

“Now, come on.” Lancelot could very well lift Arthur like a child he was so light. “Let’s get you out of here.”

Present

All his most trusted knights were gathered at the table. They listened closely as Arthur explained the situation. Most of them, like Leon, Lancelot, and Gwaine knew Merlin personally. The expression on their faces when he told them of what had happened to Merlin that morning was murderous. All of them were ready for their friend to come home and to hear how he had suffered. The others, Percival and Elyan, didn’t care that they had never met him for they had heard so many stories about Merlin they felt as if they knew him already.

“So what is the plan?” Gwaine asked.

“As soon as Gwen can sneak the compass away from Balinor, we leave. I suspect she’ll have him down for a nap within the next hour, so we have only that amount of time to prepare.” Arthur said.

“Everything is already packed for the journey.” Lancelot announced.

That at least saved them one headache.

The next part was the hardest. “I would like to take all of you with me. There are no braver men I could think of to fight at my side. But there is the possibility that while we are in search of Merlin, someone could come here to look for Balinor. I do not wish to leave my son, or my kingdom unprotected. I need a volunteer to stay behind.”

There was silence across the table for a long time. None of them wanted to stay behind, but they all understood why Arthur needed at least one to do so. Elyan raised his hand. “I can remain behind, my king. I think of the lot of us, I’m best with kids.”

“What’s that supposed to mean!” Gwaine protested. “I’m great with kids.”

“Name three kids you even know.” Percival challenged.

Gwaine opened his mouth, but then decided not to push the issue. “Alright then, at least remember poor Lancelot is in the room. I mean, he and Gwen have been talking about having some, so he’s got to be good with them.”

“How the hell do you know that?!” Lancelot shouted scandalized.

“You cannot whisper my friend.” Leon suddenly interjected.

The whole lot of them were getting out of hand. “Enough all of you. Elyan, thank you. I will forever be in your debt. Now, on to strategy. We don’t know much about the men who captured Merlin other than the fact that they are powerful sorcerers. Based on what I saw from Balinor’s memory there were at least five that cornered him during the attack, but there could be more. Which is why I asked you, Gaius, to join this meeting. Do you have any idea who these sorcerers could be?”

“A group of five sorcerers isn’t much to go on.” Gaius mused. “Was there anything about them that stood out? Anything at all.”

“I don’t know.” Arthur tried to recall the vision with as much clarity as he could. “They wore gray cloaks with no distinct insignias or markings. Merlin seemed to know them, or at least know that they were looking for him. Something he said made it sound like he’d been in hiding from them.”

“Did they say what they wanted from him?”

“Him and Balinor. The said they wanted their magic and even threatened to harvest it from Merlin’s body if he didn’t cooperate and give them Bal.”

At that recognition flashed in Gaius’s eyes and something else. Oh, Gaius knew exactly who it had been, and he was afraid.

“Gaius, who were they?” Arthur demanded more urgently.

“If what they said was not mere threat but truth, then they were not sorcerers at all, they were gods.”

“What the hell do you mean gods?” Gwaine demanded.

“Much of the magic we have today comes from a person’s knowledge and devotion to the old religion, but have you ever asked yourself what the old religion is?” Gaius’s question was met with the stony silence he expected.

“Magic is in all things. It is a part of all life and all death. The gods created everything that we know by pouring their own magic into the soil and the people worshiped them for it. They said that it was through the people’s worship that their powers were renewed and thus allowed them to pour out more blessings and miracles. That was the earliest form of magic. However, after centuries, the magic in the soil grew to become a power of its own. We no longer needed the interference of the gods for the plants to grow and the rivers to fill. Thus people started to rely on magic less and less and slowly the old religion was forgotten.”

“Gaius, while I appreciate history lesson, I don’t understand how this has anything to do with Merlin.” Arthur stated.

Rather than getting to the point, Gaius posed the whole table a question. “What do you think happened to the gods when people stopped worshiping them?”

Almost everyone just gave confused shrugs except for Elyan who had been following what Gaius said closely. “If their powers were renewed through worship, and there is none, then their powers wouldn’t be renewed.”

Gaius nodded. “There is a prophecy that says Merlin is the strongest wizard to ever live and that he and the once and future king will restore magic to Avalon. Many had believed this meant that Merlin and Arthur would work together to bring magic back. However, prophecies are tricky things, they can be twisted to mean many things depending who has control of its outcome. Would it not mean the same if their combined magic restored the gods who are the embodiment of magic itself?”

They were going to drain Merlin and Balinor dry.

Arthur was already on his feet. “How do we stop them?”

“Yeah, can’t imagine its going to be easy to kill a god.” Gwaine said in an attempt to lighten the mood. It didn’t work.

“There is but one blade that can kill that which can never die. As sword which Merlin had made for you long ago.” Gaius said.

He had never heard of such a thing, but it sounded like something Merlin would do. “And where is this sword?”

Gaius gave him a sad look. “I fear I do not know. Merlin hid it years ago so it would not fall into the wrong hands. The blade is meant for you alone.”

There wasn’t time to go on some quest for a sword while the gods could be draining Merlin as they spoke.

“Arthur,” Lancelot said before his thoughts could spiral out of control. “Actually, um, I may know exactly where the sword is.”

“Where?”

Lancelot swallowed like he was nervous to answer, which didn’t make much sense.

“It’s actually in your scabbard right now.”

Arthur stared down at the sword at his side. This was the sword he had been handed while he was training to regain his strength. It was the sword he had taken into battle to reclaim his kingdom. It was the sword he had used to kill Uther.

The question was too obvious to have to be said aloud.

“The day you sent him away from Camelot, he uh… he teleported to me. He didn’t stay long and he wouldn’t tell me what had happened. He said only that you might one day need help and that when you did, I should retrieve it for you. But he asked me never to tell you.”

So he’d had a little piece of Merlin at his side the whole time.

Gwaine stood up. “Well, we know our enemy and we have a way to kill them, so I say we get a move on.”

“We are still waiting for the compass Gwaine.” Percival reminded him.

As if saying it had conjured the very item, Gwen entered the room holding out the compass to Arthur. “Balinor is asleep. You have no idea how hard it was to sneak it from him. He wouldn’t even take it off when I drew him a bath.”

Arthur could just picture him stubbornly holding onto the small device even while he was surrounded by soap suds.

“Thank you, Gwen. You will keep an eye on him for me, won’t you.”

“Of course. I’ll make sure he stays safe.”

With the compass at hand, the group of them were saddled and on their way before the hour was up. They pushed the horses as hard as they dared, and soon were beyond Camelot’s boarders.

The farther they went, the more split Arthur’s heart felt. He knew he needed to get to Merlin and free him from the old gods. But the other half of him knew that leaving his son behind when the child had so desperately wanted to help might destroy any chance of building a relationship with him. Balinor would never forgive him the slight of stealing his compass.

Eventually they had no choice but to rest for the night. They set up camp and feasted on a stew that Merlin would have put to shame with no effort. When they were deciding who would take first watch.

Arthur was still too keyed up to sleep, so he accepted it easily.

Once the others were asleep, Arthur was left with his thoughts again. If someone had told him when he woke up that morning that before the day was over he would meet his son and embark on a quest to save his true love from the gods of the old religion he would have had sent them straight to Gaius.

Arthur looked up at the stars and couldn’t help but wonder if wherever they were keeping him, if Merlin could see the stars too. He wished he could shout to the stars that he was coming, that he wouldn’t stop until he found Merlin and that they would relay his message. But he couldn’t.

Suddenly a bright light formed in the darkness beside him. It was undeniably some form of magic. Arthur grabbed for his sword as he searched the darkness. He expected it to be an attack or something along those lines. So his heard flipped in his chest when the light instead formed a small familiar boy.

“Balinor!”

Chapter Text

Three Years Ago

It had taken a long time for Arthur to rebuild himself. The first few months after he had been freed from his father’s captivity had been about healing. Healing his body, his mind, and especially his heart.

His friends had helped a lot with that. They had been there with him through every obstacle, every set back, every flash back, every nightmare. At first it had been difficult for Arthur to rely on them. All his life Uther had taught him never to rely on others, but he quickly learned to ignore every lesson that came from that cruel tyrant.

It helped that they never looked on him with pity. They had their own ways of showing how much they cared for him. Sometimes he would catch Gwen crying for the cruelty he had suffered. Sometimes he caught Lancelot staring sadly at him as he retrained his body to do basic things that used to come naturally to him. Sometimes he found Leon sleeping outside his door because it made him feel better knowing he could be there for Arthur when the nightmares began.

Honestly, Arthur didn’t think he would have been able to be himself again without them.

Because of them he was stronger than he had ever been before. And now he was ready to face all that he had left behind.

Uther was still sitting on the throne of Camelot. The evil tyrant still had the power to torture their people. Since Arthur’s escape last year he had become worse. His laws harsher, his punishments crueler. No one was safe from his anger.

Well, no more.

He would not let anyone hurt his people so long as there was breath within him. Even a man he had once called father. That was why he had begun recruiting his own army. An army of citizens ready to stand behind him as he eradicated the cruel tyrant from the throne.

That had taken up the rest of the year he had been free. Secretly training anyone who was willing to take up a sword, making battle strategies, finding the pressure points to weaken Uther without harming his citizens. All the while dodging his father’s soldiers and scouts.

They had gotten far in their work over the last few months. The body of the snake was dying as Arthur had destroyed every alliance he had. Now all that was left was to cut off the head and take what was rightfully his.

The final battle against Uther was at hand. For the first time in the year since his escape, Arthur would face the man who had tortured and starved him face to face. He had fought against greater more deadly foes before and laughed at them. Still, Arthur could not shake the fear tight in his chest.

“Arthur.” Lancelot stood behind him. “Everything is ready at your word, my Lord.”

Arthur nodded, though he really hadn’t registered what Lancelot said. He must have stood there staring out blankly at the castle that had once been both his prison and his home for too long.

“Arthur?” Lancelot came close enough Arthur flinched at the invasion.

He had been doing better about not jumping whenever his friends got too close, but when his mind drifted back to those memories the reaction was involuntary.

Lancelot stepped back without any sign of judgement or insult. “Are you alright?”

“Not really.” He admitted.

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

Arthur thought on that for a second. In moments like this, just before the battle, there was only one person who ever could help him. The one person that in a year of freedom he still hadn’t been able to find.

“I know, you and Merlin were pretty close. Though you didn’t know him long, you came to understand him in a way that no one else does.” Arthur said suddenly.

Lancelot didn’t seem surprised by the change in topic, almost as if he could follow Arthur’s thoughts exactly.

“Yes, he became a very dear friend to me very quickly.”

“Then do you think, maybe, you could pretend to be him? I just…I just need his advice. And to pretend like he is here with me for just a moment. Despite being the biggest idiot of a servant the world has ever seen; he always had a way with saying the right thing right when I needed it.”

“I’ll do my best.” Lancelot promised.

Arthur closed his eyes, and for a moment tried to pretend like the presence behind him was of the man he loved. A man whose absence he had felt for too long. “Merlin, I’m scared. I’m scared that I’m not strong enough to face him again.”

“Arthur, you’re the strongest man I know. Not because of your skills with a sword, or your strength, but because of your courage and compassion. It’s your destiny to sit on that throne and I believe you can accomplish anything you desire. And no matter what happens in there, I’ll be right beside you. We’ll face it, together, like we always do.”

Tears gathered behind his eyes as he pictured Merlin saying the same thing to him. “I think you’d make a passable Merlin, if necessary, though you’re much too competent.”

“I take that as a complement.” Lancelot said with a half laugh before his voice grew as sad as Arthur’s own heart. “I wish he were here too.”

Arthur drew in a deep breath pushing the tears away. He finally turned around to face Lancelot and for the first time realized that he was carrying a sword.

“What is that?” Arthur asked.

Lancelot looked down at his own hands like he too hadn’t noticed it was there. “Oh, I brought this for you. It’s specially forged just for you. I thought it would bring you lucky in battle today.” He handed the sword over.

The moment he touched it, Arthur got the strangest feeling that he was suddenly being reunited with something that had once been a part of him but was lost. There was almost an aura around it that made him feel stronger than he had in years.

“Thank you.” He gripped the sword tighter and tied it to his waist. “We’re ready then to move out.”

Present

“Balinor!” Arthur shouted it not caring if he woke the others. “What…? How…?”

Both answers were fairly obvious. The sensation of magic still hung in the air. After the boy had showed him his memory, assumed the boy might had magic. He was Merlin’s child, after all. However since he hadn’t shown any signs of magic strong enough to transport him or track their location on his own. Honestly, he should have known better.

The boy had an angry pout on his face. It was the exact same expression Merlin used to give him when he’d thrown his clothes all over the floor rather than putting it in the basket.

“You’re a big stupid head!”

Arthur had no idea how to respond to that.

Balinor continued on. “You bwroke your pwromise. Dads aren’t suppowse to bwreak pwromises. Don’t you know anything!” He stomped his little foot on the ground.

Okay, Arthur knew he was supposed to be mad that his son had followed him or at least embarrassed to be lectured by a five year old, but honestly his heart was melting from the cuteness of the scene before him.  Merlin must have taught him dads don’t break promises. The statement alone had Merlin all over it. And hearing Balinor repeat it was just too endearing.

Still, he was the parent here, so he had to keep control here. He did his best to give Balinor a stern look. “Actually, I only promised that I would bring your daddy back. I never said you could come with us.”

That only seemed to make Balinor even more angry. If it weren’t so dark, Arthur figured he might have seen little bits of steam puffing out of his ears.

“You’re a bit fat meanie and I don’t like you!” He shouted.

Now that one hurt. Like a lot. He’d honestly never had someone else’s words strike him so deep. But he couldn’t give in to the child’s tantrum. It was too dangerous for him to be here and even if Balinor hated him, he had to be safe.

At this point all the commotion had woken the others. They were all reaching for the swords as if they were under attack.

Arthur stepped between Balinor and his own knights without a thought. “Stand down. Seems we were followed by Camelot’s newest royal.”

So far, the only knights who had actually seen Balinor were Gwaine and Lancelot. They had been obnoxious enough about how cute the boy was and telling the others all about him the whole way. Suddenly there were four very large knights cooing over Balinor.

“Awe! He really looks just like you as a child, my Lord.” Leon said.

Lancelot knelt in front of him. “You must have been so scared coming here by yourself!”

“But brave though, huh kiddo. Just like you daddy!” Gwaine ruffled his hair.

“Everyone must be freaking out back at the castle.” Percival commented.

Yeah, this whole thing was a mess.

“Enough, don’t crowd him.” Arthur shooed them all away, unconsciously scooping up the grumpy child in his arms.

“Big bad dad to the rescue I see.” Gwaine winked.

All the joking was broken when Balinor scream in his arms. “He’s not my dad!”

Arthur froze. He knew he hadn’t known the boy long and that he had no right to demand the boy think of him as a father, but hearing it said aloud was painful. He never should have gotten his hopes up that Balinor might see him as family, even if it was only in blood. Arthur set him down, feeling colder than he had in a long time.

Only now that the boy was on the ground, Arthur realized he hadn’t said it in anger, but with tears. “Dads don’t leave you behind.”

He imagined what this all must have been like for him. The poor kid had seen the only parent he knew almost killed this morning and then he’d been sent far away from anything he knew to meet his other parent for the first time. Arthur had no way of knowing what Merlin might have told Balinor about him. Had Merlin told Balinor that Arthur would hate his magic? Or had Merlin told him about how Arthur cruelly sent him away? Then the first thing Arthur had done was steal from him and abandon him.

Damn, Arthur had no idea how to do this parenting thing, but he was pretty sure he was already messing it up.

“Gwaine, take over sentry duty. Balinor and I need to talk.” Arthur said. “The rest of you go back to sleep. We’ll figure out about who will be taking Balinor back at first light.”

“But!” The boy started to protest, but Arthur was already pointing for him to walk to the edge of the camp with him.

Once they were out of earshot of the others, Arthur leaned down so he was at Balinor’s height. “You are right. I really was a big fat stupid head on this one. But, Balinor, I need you to understand, that I only left you behind because the people who have your daddy are very bad and very strong. It is going to be dangerous, and I wanted you to be safe. I know it was wrong of me to mislead you and then leave without a word, but I was only thinking of your safety. You don’t have to like me or even think of me as your dad, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you and that I won’t do everything to keep you from harm. Do you understand?”

“That’s why you sent daddy away, isn’t it?” Balinor’s words sent a shock straight through Arthur’s heart. There was no way that he could know that. There was no way he would even know enough to guess such a thing.

“How do you know that?”

“When I showed you my last memory of daddy, I saw yours. That’s how it always works. Memory for memory Daddy told me. I saw a bad man was coming to hurt daddy, but you sent him away, so he’d be safe.”

“Yes, I did.”

“Why?”

Arthur blew out a long sigh. “Because I love your daddy very much.”

“Then why didn’t you come for us! Daddy always said you would come for us, but you never did! Is it because of me? Did you not want Daddy back because he had me?” Arthur saw real hurt in the boy’s eyes, a familiar hurt he had known too well as a child. The hurt of a parent’s rejection. All this time Balinor had thought Arthur didn’t want him.

“Balinor, I want you and your daddy both more than anything in the world. I know you are still too young to understand, but that very bad man you saw in my memory wouldn’t let me find your daddy for a long time. Then when I was free, I couldn’t find him, but I never stopped looking. And when I save your daddy, we’re all going to sit down and have a long talk about everything. Because I don’t ever want to lose you two again.”

Balinor threw his arms around Arthur’s neck and snuggled into him. “Then take me with you. Pwease! Don’t leave me again. I don’t want to be alone again.”

If Balinor had asked for the moon and the stars, Arthur would have found a way to pluck them from the heavens and put them in his hands. But when it came to his safety he would never compromise.

“We’ll talk about it in the morning.” Arthur promised.

Balinor pouted at him as if he didn’t believe.

“How about you sleep with me under my blanket to make sure I don’t sneak away this time?” Arthur offered.

The boy lit up as if excited about the job of keeping Arthur in line. “Okay!”

Chapter Text

One Year Ago

The only sound in the throne room was the slow drip of blood falling from the tip of Arthur’s sword. Uther didn’t say a word as he stared down at him with hatred from atop his throne. There was nothing to say.

Arthur’s army had succeeded in breaking into the citadel and had overpowered what few guards Uther had left. The cowards barely even fought back. Most falling to their knees begging for mercy. It was unsurprising as the only men who had remained ‘loyal’ to the tyrant king were little more than mercenaries realizing they weren’t going to get their payment after all.

All Arthur’s knights had asked if he wanted company to deliver the final blow to the man he had once called father. Arthur was grateful to have all of them with him, but this last piece he needed to do alone.

His father had barricaded himself in the throne room with his last two soldiers. Throwing open the doors, Arthur charged inside taking out the last two threats between them. So there he stood, standing before Uther on his throne as he had too many times to count. Only this time, he would be taking that throne from him rather than bowing before it.

Uther raised his head, finally ready to speak. But each word was as laced with venom as they had been years ago when he held Arthur in chains. “So it has all come to this. I must say, I don’t know whether to be surprised or not, but the son has returned to kill his father.”

“You are no father!” Arthur spit.

“If only that were true.” Uther drawled. “And it shall be soon, once I put an end to this petty rebellion of yours.”

“Petty rebellion?” Arthur couldn’t help but laugh. “Your whole kingdom has turned against you. The only ones left that would follow you lay dead at your feet. Even if you fight your way past me the people will never bow to you again. This is no rebellion. This is justice for all you have wronged and all who have suffered under your hatred.” Arthur advanced on him. Each step placing him closer to delivering the final blow.

It brough him no shame to admit that he felt a wave of pleasure from the fear finally rising across his father’s face. He was now realizing that it truly was over, and he had lost.

“Wait!” He begged. “Don’t you want to know what happened to your whore?”

Arthur froze. He had heard Uther refer to only Merlin by that derogatory title. But he quickly shook it off, “He escaped you. You were never able to hurt him and with your death I will ensure that you never will.”

Uther laughed in his face. “And you think he never came back looking for you?”

A cold sick dread spread through him like a knife before he caught himself. He couldn’t let Uther get to him. It was a lie. All he knew how to do was lie. If he had gotten his hands on Merlin, he wouldn’t have hesitated to use him against Arthur. He wouldn’t be playing mind games now.

“I would be using your last breath to pray for the mercy of the gods, not spouting useless lies to hasten your death.” Arthur warned. Once again Arthur brought his sword back ready to strike…

But Uther didn’t seem to heed his warning. “He left a note!”

The blade stopped where it had begun to press against Uther’s skin. A small trickle of blood dripped down his neck. “He what?”

“Two months after he vanished, one of the servants found a letter signed from him hidden amongst your armor.” Uther continued.

Arthur scoffed. Now he knew he was lying. “Right. If you had found a note from Merlin, then you would have only used the words to torture me.”

“I might have, but the paper was spelled. I know not how your pathetic excuse for a servant managed to buy spelled paper, but it could only be opened by the one it was addressed to. I kept it from you because I had hoped to use the object myself to track him.”

“And what does this note matter to me now?”

“I know you are still looking for the boy. The contents inside may give you the answers you seek. I have hidden it, but I will give it to you if you spare my life and banish me instead.”

As Arthur had suspected, this was only a ploy to save his own skin. Even if he was telling the truth, and it did lead Arthur back to Merlin’s side, neither of them would ever be safe so long as Uther lived.

“I will find him on my own, without your deal.” Arthur vowed. “And I will be the king to restore peace to this land. Your pathetic excuse for a son will be the one remembered for all of time while you will become nothing more than a forgotten nightmare.”

Uther cowered on his throne in his last moment. And Arthur stepped out into the light victorious to his people’s cries of joy. “Long live King Arthur!”

Yet even as he stood before them, he couldn’t help but shiver at the absence of the man who should have been at his side.

Present Day

In the years since his captivity, Arthur had never had a single night of peaceful sleep. At first, it had been because Uther would leave him chained up against the wall or sluggishly bleeding on the cold stone floor. But, even after his escape his nights were plagued with nightmares and constant fear. The last time Arthur could remember waking feeling safe and rested had been six years ago when he woke up in Merlin’s arms.

Yet as the purple hues of dawn approached, and a light morning mist hovered over the camp, Arthur felt like he’d been asleep for days rather than hours. It was almost as if some bright, warm energy had filled him up while he slept.

Blearily, he blinked his eyes open, and his heart caught in his throat at the sight before him. In the night, Balinor had snuggled into Arthur’s arms. He was peacefully asleep with his round cheek squished into the crook of Arthur’s elbow. Little tuffs of his long bangs had fallen over his eyes. His body was so small pressed against Arthur’s chest and yet so warm. Arthur had never been this close to a child before and had no idea they could be so warm. But it wasn’t simply his presence that had pierced his heart. It was the pure, soft trust the boy was showing him by cuddling so close.

Looking at him like this made him dream of the life they could have shared together. Of a dozen mornings waking up with Balinor tucked in the bed between him and Merlin. It was a dream that he would make sure they got the chance to make come true.

The rest of the camp slowly began to stir. The men said nothing to their king snuggled with his son, but instead began packing up to prepare for the journey.

Arthur knew that the moment he moved Balinor would wake up and then he’d have to argue with the poor kid to return back to Camelot where he was safe. And arguing with a kid with the combined stubbornness of himself and Merlin was asking for trouble. He prayed that once things were settled that maybe Merlin would impart some of his wisdom for dealing with Bal on Arthur. Until that day though, he had to make do on his own.

Once breakfast was put together, he couldn’t put it off any longer. He gentle brushed Bal’s hair from his face as he called to him. “Balinor. Time to wake up.”

The boy scrunched up his face and pulled his tiny hands up to rub at his eye before giving a large yawn. “Five more minutes, pwease?” The request was so adorable it had even the knights behind Arthur aweing at him.

Still Arthur tried to remain strong. They had to get moving if they were going to find Merlin.

“Come on, Bal. It’s time to wake up.” He urged again.

Bal sat up, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He didn’t seem to notice how close he was to Arthur or if he did, he no longer minded. Percival brought both Arthur and Bal over a small bowl.

“Thank you, Percival.” Arthur said.

Voice still tinged with sleep, Bal said it too. “Thank you, Perciwal.”

Arthur could swear he saw Percival preen as he walked away.

Balinor didn’t complain about the half cold gruel served to him and ate it contentedly. Then again, he was so busy watching the knights inspect their weapons as they prepared for departure, Arthur doubted he tasted what he put into his mouth.

“You like swords, don’t you?” Arthur asked him.

Bal nodded eagerly. “Daddy wouldn’t let me have a real sword. But he told me all kinds of stowries about knights and sword fights.” Those awestruck eyes then turned back to Arthur. “Daddy also said you were the best sword fighter in all the world.”

Merlin had told their son that? A slight blush creeped across Arthur’s cheek. “No one has defeated me yet and lived to tell about it.”

“Is that how we’re going to save Daddy?”

Now was the time to tell Balinor the truth. “Balinor. I told you last night. It is too dangerous for you to come along.”

Balinor’s face contorted in disappointment, but before he could interrupt with his same argument, Arthur cut him off.

“Now Balinor, I understand that you’re scared that if I go and fight these men like your Daddy that I might get hurt and you’ll be alone again. And the last thing I want to do is be parted from you when we have just started to get to know each other, but your Daddy sent you to me so that I can protect you and I can’t do that in the heart of battle. If I’m going to bring your Daddy back, then I need to be able to focus on saving him without worrying about if you’re in danger. Can you understand that?”

For a moment Arthur thought he was going to shout or cry that he still wanted to go, but then he nodded. “I understand.”

“Good.” Arthur reached out to pat his head. “I know you just want to help bring your daddy home, but the best thing you can do to help your daddy and me is keep yourself safe. Then when this is all over, I’ll talk with your Daddy about maybe starting sword training.”

“Really!” He lit up.

“Really.” Arthur had been about his age when he’s started, though he wouldn’t make the mistake of putting so much pressure on Balinor to train. If he taught his son, it would be about building his own confidence and teaching him the codes of right a wrong a Camelot knight lived by. But all that would have to wait.

“Now, can I trust you to go back to the castle the same way you came here? Or do you need a knight to take you back?” Arthur questioned.

Balinor gave a sheepish smile. Damn, he had to have inherited that exact expression from Merlin. “Yes. I can go back. I can’t use much magic, but I can do that.” He said as if it was obvious.

But Arthur latched onto what he’d said. “What do you mean you can’t use much magic?”

Balinor looked over at the knights to check that they weren’t listening. Then he leaned up onto his knees so he could whisper into Arthur’s ear. “Daddy binded it so I can only use it a little.” Arthur had a lot more questions but figured the only one with those answers would be Merlin himself.

It was time for Balinor to go once again, and though he was happy he would be out of danger, he was going to miss him. Much like Merlin, Balinor had wormed his way into Arthur’s heart from the first meeting.

Arthur leaned forward and pulled Balinor into a hug, holding him tight. “I’m going to keep my promise and bring your Daddy back, okay.”

Balinor nodded against his shoulder.

“And you’ll be a good boy for Gwen and Gaius for me while you wait, right?”

He nodded again.

As much as it pained him, Arthur let go and watched as Balinor disappeared in the same shower of magic that he had come. He gave himself only a moment to compose the tears wanting to fall. Now he could understand the expression he had seen on Merlin’s face that he’d seen in Balinor’s memory when he had to send him away. Then he turned back to his knights. “Let’s ride.”

They followed the compass for another two days before they found an abandoned temple where they believed Merlin was being held. At least the compass kept them circling back to the decaying structure.

Though Arthur wanted to rush straight in there and kill whatever gods stood between him and Merlin, he knew that they needed a plan. Truthfully, they had no idea how many there would be. He had seen five in Balinor’s memory, but for all they knew not all their forces had gone to attack Merlin. And his sword would be the only one that could kill them. The knights would be at an even greater disadvantage than he. Though since magic had been legalized, they had been training in fighting against magic, it was one thing to defend themselves against sorcerers and another to go up against a group of half-fallen gods.

Arthur wasn’t fool enough to put his men and Merlin in danger by acting recklessly.

They had set no guards around the outer perimeter which told Arthur they weren’t expecting any kind of rescue. More than likely they were just waiting for little Balinor to come stumbling in desperate to find his father. They wouldn’t be prepared for a raid.

“We have to assume that even though the entrance isn’t guarded, there are probably defensive spells set up or at least some kind of alarm. I don’t think the element of surprise will get us any farther than through their front door. We also know that there are at least five of them against the five of us.” He paused for a second to look up at his knights, his friends.

This was so much he was asking of them. It was one thing to ask them to put their lives on the line for the kingdom they all loved and wanted to protect. No matter how he might spin it, this mission had nothing to do with defending Camelot. This was about defending his heart and yet here they all were still beside him. “I won’t lie men; their power greatly outweighs our own, but I won’t insult any of you by offering to leave should you fear for you lives. I know each and every one of you have stood by me through worse odds than this and fought bravely. But I want no heroes today. We get in, get Merlin, and get back out.”

“Yes, Arthur.” They all agreed.

“Gaius packed defensive potions for you all.” He gestured to the extra satchel he’d been carrying, and Lancelot passed it around to each of them. “Keep them on you and use them accordingly. Once we’re inside we stick together. The compass will lead us directly to Merlin so there will be no need to search the whole structure. So no breaking off.”

All attention was suddenly focused on Gwaine.

He frowned. “Why the hell are you all looking at me?”

They kept staring.

Gwaine held up his hands in surrender. “Alright, no breaking off. No heroics. I got it.”

They were as ready as they were going to be.

Arthur took a long deep breath trying to calm his nerves. He stared down at the compass and whispered to it as he had done so many times in the last few days. He knew it was ridiculous to pretend that it would pass his message on to Merlin, but he couldn’t help but hold on to this one connection to him. “We’re coming, love. Just hold on a little longer.”

Together, the five of them approached the temple from the east side. It had provided the best cover. They had their weapons drawn and potions at the ready as they stepped inside. But nothing happened. There was no explosion of magic or screech of an alarm of a group of gods descending on them. Nothing happened at all.

Some might have called it ‘luck’. Arthur suspected ‘trap’ was more accurate. His own gut had gone cold.

“This isn’t right.” Arthur said as they stood in the doorway. “Pull back.”

All at once some force exploded between them. It sent the knights tumbling back out of the temple and Arthur flying down the corridor. He landed with a hard thwack to the farthest wall which left his vision swirling. By the time it righted itself, he could see that the temple entrance was now closed with his men outside and five cloaked beings stood in front of him grinning from ear to ear.

“Were you truly fool enough to think we did not know of your coming?” The first one on the right said.

As if the words were being passed down a line, they each spoke a sentence in turn. “We are gods.”

“We know all and see all.”

“The trees and forests are our eyes and ears.”

“They tell us many things of you.”

“Your love for mighty Emrys brought us the salvation we seek.”

“You’ve been watching us?” Arthur hated that he hadn’t thought of that. Gaius had said they were gods. Weak gods, but even weak gods still had abilities. But it didn’t make sense. “If you knew where Balinor was, why didn’t you come for him?”

Once again, they spoke one at a time. “We could see the boy, but we cannot touch him.”

“When Emrys sent him away, he put a protection spell on the boy.”

“We could not touch him.”

“We must wait for him to come here.”

“Now that we hold both his fathers, he will come.”

No. Arthur would not sit idly by and be bait for his own son. He had sworn to protect him and bring Merlin back. If it was the last thing he did on this earth, he would fight to protect his family.

“Alright but tell me. Did your trees warn you of this?” Arthur leapt forward with Excalibur in hand. The sword pierced straight through the stomach of the nearest god. The being did not even try to avoid it, expecting nothing more than a mortal blade which would have no affect on him. But instead the being found themselves choking as the power of Excalibur flowed through them and tore the immortality from their soul. The god fell, as dead as any other foe Arthur had faced before.

Suddenly realizing the real danger Arthur posed, the gods jumped back throwing their own magic straight at him. They were seething, their rage radiating off of them in waves so strong Arthur almost couldn’t remain on his feet. But he had to. Arthur held up Excalibur, each blast ricocheted off his blade and flew back at his enemies.

When one of them was forced to duck to avoid getting hit from their own magic, Arthur took the chance to strike out once again. He landed a blow across the gods side, and they fell to the ground screaming out in pain. Only as the scream subsided the cloak puddled empty on the floor.

But Arthur had no time to celebrate the victory. Even with two down, the other three and him fully surrounded. Their attacks were no longer wild with anger but coordinated so he could not defend himself from every side. He prepared himself for the pain as one of the blasts slipped past his defense and hit his armor. Surprisingly though, the spell shattered as if it had hit a shield.

Someone had spelled his armor with protection spells. And recently, as such a spell would have only been affected for a few days.

Arthur couldn’t help but smile at the thought that Bal must have somehow snuck over to his armor and put a protection spell on it, even with his limited use of magic. Bal had wanted to protect him too.

His spirit renewed, Arthur kept fighting. He parried every blow that he could, trying to find an opening to take out another one of the gods. But the protection could not last forever, and he could not dodge every blow. Soon each blast that made it past his guard was accompanied with searing pain. But Arthur kept fighting.

He fought until Excalibur itself was knocked from his hands and his body crumpled to the floor. And still, he fought to keep conscious even as darkness tried to descend over his eyes. He knew once they closed it would be over. He would have failed and Balinor and Merlin would be the ones to suffer. With all the strength he had left he tried to reach for Excalibur again, but his fingers could not even curl around the hilt.

“Let us end him and be done with this!” One of the gods seethed above him.

“No, not yet.”

“He killed two of us. We cannot permit him to live.”

“But the other is fading, if we lose them both the boy will not come.”

“We keep him for now, chained like the other.”

Though he heard the words, Arthur’s mind could not make sense who they were talking about. All he knew was that suddenly his body was being lifted and the world blurred around him. Then it all stopped as he was harshly throne into a dingy cell.

His consciousness was fading, but even as everything went dark he swore he saw a familiar mop of black curls.

Chapter Text

Ten Months Ago

Arthur let the wind whip against his face. It had been so long since he had just stood on the wall of the castle and overlooked his own kingdom. Even in the two months since he had overthrown Uther there had been no time for such things. There had been so much work to repair all the travesty that Uther had caused Arthur rarely even had time for rest these days.

He had had little choice but to divvy up the work amongst his most trusted advisors. They had helped a great deal of taking the wait off his shoulders, but when it came to ensuring the end of Uther’s ban on magic and restoring the people’s faith, he would trust none other than himself. Of course, he had gone to the druids to ask for their help as well. However, he couldn’t help but feel that he needed to bring magic back to Camelot with his own hands.

Maybe then, Merlin would see that his home was waiting for him and return back where he belonged.

A part of Arthur had had some fantasy that once he had killed his tyrant of a father, Merlin would just magically appear back in the castle, and they would be reunited. But he never came. Arthur had even asked the druids if they had any idea where Merlin had gone or how to find him, but they were just as much at a loss to find him as Arthur was.

Once again, Arthur looked out at the wide expanse of Camelot. Even with the warm sun shining over the hills and fields, it felt cold and incomplete without Merlin standing by his side. How much longer would be expected to endure this? Why had Merlin hidden himself so completely from him?

“Sire?” It was Leon’s voice behind him. “I am sorry for disturbing you.”

He turned and gave Leon a half smile. “That is alright, Leon. I was just thinking. What is it you need?”

Arthur was supposed to be taking a break. At least by order of Gwen he was. She had figured out he hadn’t taken a single one in over three weeks and about had his head for it. So she’d shouted to anyone who could hear that King Arthur was not to be disturbed for the next hour.

“It better be important or Gwen might have your head.”

Leon gave a slight chuckled. “I’m sure this is a matter even she could not argued did not deserve your attention.” He reached into the pocket of his jacket. “We were doing some renovation in your father’s old study, to refurbish it and we found a hidden compartment. This was inside.” And held out a small, sealed letter with only the word Arthur written in Merlin’s handwriting.

In the wake of Uther’s death, after he had revealed the letter Merlin left behind, Arthur had scoured the whole castle in search of where his father had hidden it. There had been so sign of it, and yet here it was before him.

Shaking hands reach out for it. A small part of him feared that the letter would vanish the moment he touched it. Instead, it seemed to light up in his hand. The magic flowing through the paper to roll open and reveal the message inside.

Leon stepped away, leaving Arthur in private to read through the letter and for that Arthur was grateful.

For the first time in over five years, he was subject to Merlin’s own words. The top was dated to barely two months after he had been forced to flee the castle.

Dear Arthur,

There are no words that I can say to make up for the pain I must have caused you. That was the last way I wanted you to discover the truth of me. I am sure that you are angry and have many questions still left unanswered. If you hate me after all the lies I have told, I completely understand. And yet I find myself hoping that there may be enough affection for me still in your heart to give me a chance to explain.

There is so much I want to tell you. So much I have to tell you. In one month’s time, on the night of the full moon I will be waiting for you underneath our favorite tree. No matter what I will be there, even should you bring an army of your father’s guards. I ask only that you hear what I have to say before you have me beheaded. Though if you do not want me or my explanations, if you do not come because I have destroyed the love, we once shared so completely you never wish to see me again, then I will disappear from your life forever.

But know this. No matter your decision, no matter your feelings, know that mine were never a lie. I love you with all that I am and all I ever will be.

Yours forever,

Merlin

Arthur could hardly read the last words through his tears. Merlin had thought…Merlin had thought that Arthur hated him, might kill him and still he had risked giving up his location just for the chance to speak with him again. What he must have felt as he sat under their tree all night long waiting for a man who never came. No wonder Arthur had been unable to find hide nor hair of him. Just as Merlin promised in his letter, he had made sure to disappear from Arthur’s life forever.

Now, Arthur might never see Merlin again. Arthur clutched the paper to his heart as the pathetic sobs overtook him.

Present

The pain slowly pulled him back to consciousness. It wasn’t as intense as it had been in those first moments after the battle. He didn’t know if that was a good or a bad sign. The moments after Excalibur had been knocked from his hands were blurry. He didn’t think the gods would have bothered to treat him, so if the pain had dulled, it couldn’t be from that.

Without opening his eyes, he tried to take stock of his injuries. He had at least a few bruised ribs, if not out right broken. The rest of his aches and pains felt like nothing more than bruises that would be violent shades of purple and red, but there didn’t seem to be much bleeding. That was good at least. Pain he could deal with, bleeding he could not.

So he wasn’t as bad off as he feared. The next question was where the gods had stashed him. He had a vague memory of floating through the temple and being brought someone below ground. At least it has seemed to below ground based on the cold stale air around him. Then he’d been thrown onto the ground roughly and he’d heard a cell door close behind him. That had been all he’d noticed before he’d passed out except…there was one more detail that seemed so important hovering on the edge of his half-conscious mind.

He jerked awake as the memory of curly black hair fell in place. “Merlin!”

And there he was. The man he had been looking for, dreaming of for six years. Merlin lay in the same bloodstained clothes he had been taken in. His body an unconscious heap against the small cell wall.

Arthur scrambled towards him. All the pain of the fight forgotten, because how could there be any pain when the love of his life was once again back in his arms. The feeling of Merlin’s skin beneath his fingers was indescribable, for how could one explain what it felt like to breath again when they had too long forgotten the taste of air. He had feared that when he touched him, he would feel cold and stiff as he’d looked half dead lying there. Instead his skin was aflame and softer than he remembered.

Lifting Merlin into his lap, Arthur shook him gently trying to rouse him. “Merlin? Come on. Wake up, love.” The old endearment fell from his tongue without thought.

A soft whimper creeped from between Merlin’s lips, but he did not open his eyes.

Arthur began to examine him, afraid of what horrendous wound he would find that would have left Merlin in this state. He knew Merlin had been wounded in the battle with the gods. It had looked serious then, but if such a wound had been left untreated all this time it was a miracle he was still breathing. However, when he pulled at Merlin’s clothes there wasn’t a scratch on him. Only the leftover bloodstains where one must have been.

The gods must have healed him to ensure that he lived to play bait a little longer. But obviously something was still sapping the life out of him. That’s when Arthur saw the chains around his wrists. He hadn’t noticed them as they were small and connected to nothing but each other. Not that it mattered what the design was as they were made with cold iron.

He had learned much about magic as he rebuilt his kingdom and amended the laws. Cold iron was said to be able to contain a person’s magic. It made sense that the gods wouldn’t want Merlin to be able to fight back. But there was something different to these cuffs than any other cold iron he had seen. Etched into the metal there were old symbols that seemed to have a faint glow. It glimmered the same color that Arthur had once seen in Merlin’s eyes.

Whatever these things were, they were slowly drawing the life from Merlin, and he had been left in them too long already. Arthur remembered one of the gods speaking above him, “the other is fading.”

Arthur would not let Merlin die. He needed to wake him up. Then they could find a way out of there together.

Pressing a soft kiss to the top of Merlin’s sweaty brow, Arthur pleaded to him. “Please, I need you to wake up. Come back to me.”

At the kiss, Merlin drew in a deeper breath than he had before, and Arthur was rewarded with the sweet sound of his own name on his lips. “Ar…thur?”

“Yes, yes, I’m here.” Arthur pulled him closer, so they were practically nose to nose.

Then Merlin gave him the sweetest, most Merlin smile. It was too wide and dopey for anyone else to pull off, but on Merlin it made Arthur’s heart melt. “Guess I…I’m dreaming…again.”

“Dream of me often?” He teased.

“Only when I miss being pushed around by a dollophead.” He replied as if on instinct.

Arthur couldn’t help but laugh. The noise of it echoing off the walls and filling the cell. It seemed to pull Merlin even farther out of sleep. “So all the time then, huh?”

Slowly, oh so agonizingly slowly, Merlin’s eyes began to open. Six years Arthur hadn’t seen them, and yet he recognized every grain and flake of that azure blue. They were a little cloudy with his fever, but they latched onto Arthur’s face. “Arthur?”

“Yes.” He breathed.

“Arthur?” Merlin repeated, this time the question filled with more desperation than doubt.

“Yes.”

Merlin’s eyes began to water. “You’re real?”

“Yes.” Arthur caught the teardrop before it could fall down his ashen cheek.

“You’re here?” He half sobbed.

Arthur smiled through his own watering eyes. “Yes.”

“You came for me?” The astonishment thick in his voice.

As if he could have done anything else. “Yes.”

For a moment panic flashed behind his eyes, as if he had just come to a realization. “Bal? Where’s Bal? Is he alright?”

“He’s safe. He’s alright.” Arthur assured him. “My knights are here too, and they’ll get us out of here soon.” Or so he hoped.

“Oh, Arthur!” Merlin’s thin chained arms looped over and crushed Arthur to him.

Even as wet tears soaked into the shirt on Arthur’s chest, Arthur didn’t let go. He would never let go every again. “I’m sorry, my love. So sorry it took me so long to find you.”

Merlin didn’t say another word. Whether he was too weak to speak any more or he just couldn’t push the words past the lump in his throat, Arthur wasn’t sure. But he had no qualms with just holding the man he loved and feeling his beating heart pressed against his chest.

Arthur had more than enough words to fill the silence. “I never wanted you to go. I never meant to hurt you by sending you away, but I had no choice. All I wanted was for you to be safe. Any price was worth keeping you safe.”

He hadn’t realized tears were falling from his own face, until Merlin leaned back enough to wipe them away. Somehow it was that, that simple gesture of wiping away his tears that finally broke down the wall Arthur had kept around him for the last six years. All the pain he had suffered under his father’s hand, the long months he had faced trying to reclaim his own body, the struggles and fears of ruling the kingdom on his own, all of it flooded out of him in an endless river of tears. He told Merlin everything. And Merlin held him through it all.

“Oh Arthur,” Merlin pressed kisses to his temple as he finished. “I never should have left you either. I should have come back for you. When you didn’t come on the night of the full moon, I should have realized something was wrong.”

“You couldn’t have known. No one could have ever imagined what Uther was capable of.”

Still Merlin shook his head. “But it was my destiny to keep you safe, and I abandoned you to that monster.” Gently, he tried to slip out of Arthur’s embrace. “How can you even stand to touch me after how I failed you?”

Arthur refused to let him budge even an inch from his arms. “Fail me? You didn’t fail me. You protected my soul every day by keeping yourself safe and bringing our child into this world. I can think of no greater gift you could have given me than what you did raising him to be bright and happy and safe and loved. If Uther had gotten ahold of you…the things he would have done to you, to our son.” The thought of that alone sent horrified shivered down his back.

Arthur clung even harder to Merlin. “I only wish that I had been able to find you sooner. I never meant to leave you alone for so long. But even with magic, I couldn’t find you.”

“I… I had to make it that way. It was the only way to keep Bal safe from…” From the fearful expression on Merlin’s face, it was obvious that now it was time for Merlin to unburden his heart of their years apart.

“Hey,” Arthur kissed the top of his head. “I’m right here. Just start at the beginning and take whatever time you need.”

Merlin snuggled farther into his embrace as he spoke. “After I left Camelot, the first thing I did was return to Ealdor, to my mother. I figured no matter how angry you were at me, you wouldn’t do anything to put her in danger. But even then, I had started to suspect that I was pregnant, and it didn’t take long for me to confirm my suspicions. Once I was certain, I knew I had to find a way to tell you without putting the baby in danger. Hence the letter I left, and now I know why you didn’t answer. For a while I was lost, trying to figure out what to do, how to be a father on my own. Hell, I wasn’t even certain how the baby would come out. But my mother was with me the whole way. I couldn’t have done any of it without her.”

Hunith had always had a special place in Arthur’s heart, and he was so glad she had been there for Merlin when he couldn’t.

“We were happy, at least, as happy as we could be for the first year, and then Bal got his powers. My mother told me that I had my powers since before I was able to even walk, but even then, I could do little more than move things into my crib. Bal’s powers were so much stronger than that. He tore our house apart just from throwing a tantrum.”

“Balinor?” Arthur couldn’t imagine it. He knew Bal had told him that Merlin had bound his magic, but he hadn’t realized it was because it had been so strong.

Merlin nodded. “I was forced to bind his magic before he hurt himself or others, but the damage had already been done. They had sensed his magic, and they came for us. I was able to fight back, to defend us but my mother…” His voice wobbled and Arthur realized what he was going to say next. “My mother didn’t make it.”

“Oh Merlin,” Arthur had lost his mother before he had ever known her love, and still a part of him grieved for her every day. He couldn’t imagine the weight such a loss must have been on Merlin.

Moving past the painful memory, Merlin went on. “I had enough magic to transport us somewhere far away. A place where I could set up enough wards to keep anyone from ever finding us. I thought it would keep us safe from them until at least Bal was strong enough to learn to control his magic on his own. But somehow, they found us anyway. I still don’t know how they—”

In the middle of speaking, the air suddenly caught in his lungs and Merlin’s whole body seized up. “Merlin?” His eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he passed out. “Merlin!”

Arthur caught him before he could collapse back to the floor. His hands fluttered uselessly around him, unable to do anything to stop what was happening. He screamed Merlin’s name trying to rouse him again. When that didn’t work, he fumbled to find a pulse, only to reveal a golden glow emanated from the collar around his neck.

The collar. It was draining him again. Sapping what little strength he had left.

“No!” Arthur grabbed at the metal, futilely trying to break it.

It’s glow only lasted a minute, and when it was gone Merlin could breathe again.

“Merlin? Love?” He tried to sound a strong and confident as he could. “Just hold on a little longer. We’re going to get you out of here.”

Merlin gave a small shake of his head. “They’ve taken too much already, I… I won’t make it to sunset.”

There so little space for the light to seep into the cell, Arthur didn’t know how closer or far away that was. But that didn’t matter because he wasn’t going to let Merlin die.

“No. You’re going to make it. I made a promise to Bal to save you and bring you home and that’s what I’m going to do.” Determined, Arthur forced himself back onto his feet.

Every bone and muscle in his body protested the action, but he ignored the pain. Arthur marched straight to the cell door and began trying to find a weak spot. This was a decaying temple for goodness’ sake, there had to be a rusted joint or a loose bar he could…He didn’t know what he could do, but he couldn’t do nothing.

“Arthur.” Merlin’s voice was barely a whisper.

When he couldn’t find anything, he glanced around the cell finding a bit of broken stone on the ground. It was barely the size of his fist, but Arthur grabbed it and started pounding on the lock.

Beneath each whack, Merlin kept gently calling to him. “Arthur.”

The metal wouldn’t budge.

“Arthur.”

“No!” Arthur whirled around. “I know what you’re going to say. You’re going to tell me it’s alright. That you’re happy you were here long enough to see me again, to hold me again. That spending your last moments with me is enough and that you’re going to entrust our son to my care, and you’ll always be looking down on us, well I’m sorry to tell you Merlin but that’s all horseshit! I’ve been looking, waiting to be with you again for six years and this isn’t enough. It will never be enough until I get to grow grey with you watching Balinor grow up and build a happy life of his own. I won’t be enough until I’ve woken up more days in my life with you beside me than not. It won’t be enough until I get tired of your snoring and blanket hogging and bad morning breath. Because I don’t want a single reunion. I want a lifetime with you because I love you, Merlin. I always have and a I always will.”

The words had exploded out of him leaving him breathless. Only once he’d stopped did he have the courage to look at Merlin.

Merlin who was back to smiling that wide grin even though he was so exhausted. He held out his hand, waving for Arthur to come back to him. Arthur dropped the rock, snuggling back into Merlin until his face was pressed into his stomach.

“I want all that too, Arthur. More than you know. And I’m not ready to give up on that future either. Not as long as there is breath in my lungs and you’re here beside me.” Merlin vowed.

The promise that Merlin would keep fighting to stay with him was enough to settle the beast clawing in his chest. Arthur let the continued beat of his heart sooth him. They continued on like that for what seemed like hours, just holding each other.

Perhaps needing a distraction, perhaps wanting to give Arthur one, Merlin slowly ran his fingers through Arthur’s hair. “Tell me about Bal. I had to send him away so suddenly. Is he alright?”

“Alright?” Arthur gave a small laugh. “That kid is definitely your son. Only your child could have had the courage to walk straight up to the King of Camelot and demand a duel for the throne.”

“He did not!”

“Did so. Reminded me of someone else, walking straight up to a certain prince and telling him that’s enough and that he’d had his fun.”

“He’s got a lot of you in him too, you know. I saw you in him every day. Sometimes he was the only reason I kept breathing without you.” Yet even as he said that now, it seemed his breaths were growing shorter.

Arthur willed someone, anyone to come sooner. “You’ll never have to be without me again. Once we’re out of here, I’m going to take you home to Camelot, and shower you with the title and rewards you always deserved. Magic is free now, so you’ll never have to hide again. There’s nothing to stop you from standing by my side as my equal as you were always destined to be.”

“A Court Sorcerer in Camelot again,” Merlin wheezed, “who would have thought.”

“That wasn’t the only title I was thinking of giving you.”

“I swear, if you make me a lord of any kind, I’m going to cast a curse on you that there will be a pebble in every boot you wear until the end of time.”

Arthur barely contained a laugh. “Not a lord either. I was thinking maybe more along the lines of… King?”

Arthur knew it was forward to propose to a man he had only just found again after six years. They had spent more time apart than together at this point and it would take a lot of time and work before they could figure each other out again. But Arthur wanted Merlin to know that this was everything to him. That what was between them was forever.

So Arthur hadn’t expected an immediate yes or anything so dramatic, but he had expected some sort of response.

Arthur glanced up and felt his heart plummet at the sight of the collar glowing again, draining the last of Merlin’s consciousness with him. Only before he could scream out Arthur’s name, another voice equally as heartbroken echoed through the hall outside the cell.

“DADDY!”

Chapter Text

Present

Arthur had been so concerned with Merlin that he had missed the light on the other side of the bars. It was only as Balinor screamed that Arthur realized he had found a way to teleport into the room where they were being kept. Though he’d only managed to make it outside the bars of the cell.

Balinor’s small body rammed into the bars as he cried out for Merlin. His face already a mess of snot and tears. “Daddy!”

Arthur’s heart leapt into his throat. No! He couldn’t be here! He was supposed to be safe back at the castle. If he was here… Arthur opened his mouth to shout a warning, to tell Balinor to run, but it was already too late.

A strange power slammed into him. Throwing him away from Merlin and pinning him against the wall. He couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe.

The three remaining gods appeared behind Balinor. They were still dressed in their robes, although they looked to have been torn from the previous fight. Arthur feared he was going to have to watch them rip his son apart in front of him or drain the magic from his small frame while he was unable to lift even a finger. However, none of the gods moved to touch him, and Arthur remembered what they had said during the battle.

Merlin had put a protection spell on Balinor. They couldn’t touch Bal, which was why they had been trying to lure him here in the first place. But there was no telling what else they could do to the boy. One of them was already raising his hand pointing straight at Balinor.

Arthur fought with all his might to break free, but it felt like trying to swim through stone. All he could do was squeeze out a single word. “Bal!”

The boy turned just as a spark of crimson lightning jumped from the god’s hand. It flew past Balinor to wrap itself around the lock of their cell, and the door popped open.

“There now. A boy should never be separated from his fathers.” One of them crooned. “Run along.”

 Bal at least had the foresight to realize they wouldn’t grant him access without their own selfish purpose. He stood his ground, still looking as fierce and determined as he had the first time Arthur met him, when he had marched straight up to the king of Camelot and demanded a duel. “Wha…what did you do to my daddies?” Balinor demanded.

“We have taken only what rightful belongs to us.” The middle one replied.

“We wish only to take what is ours.”

Bal seemed to take in what they said. He looked sadly at Arthur and then down at Merlin before turning back to them. “Then will you let us go?” There was so much sorrow and hope in that simple question.

All three grinned evilly at him. “But of course.”

No! They were lying. They never had any intention of letting them live after they got what they wanted. Arthur shook his head, trying to signal to Bal not to believe them. But the boy wasn’t even looking at him now. He was staring at Merlin who was barely breathing at this point.

“What do I do?” Bal asked.

As one, they pointed toward Merlin. “You only need to touch your father.”

“Then all will be done.”

Bal didn’t need any further instruction. He ran forward and threw himself over Merlin’s body. His tiny frame was barely large enough to lay over Merlin’s chest. Bal was grabbing at Merlin’s shirt and shaking him. “Daddy? Daddy! Wake up. Please.”

No matter how hard Balinor begged, Merlin didn’t show any sign of waking. However, as Arthur watched the collar around Merlin’s neck began to glow again. A dim light traveled from Balinor’s hands, through Merlin, and into the collar. The collar was taking Balinor’s magic as well.

If Arthur didn’t do something soon, their son would soon be in the same state as Merlin.

An anger, unrivaled since the days of his father’s captivity, grew in Arthur’s chest. For too long, he had been denied the joy of living with the love of his life, with watching his son grow. He would not stand idly by why both of those lives were extinguished in front of him. He was King Arthur, the great warrior in all of Camelot. He had promised Balinor that he would save them. No gods would stand in his way.

Summoning every ounce of strength and resolve he had built over the years, Arthur focused it all on the single intension of breaking free from their hold. He pushed against the enchantment as if he were pushing against a stone wall. It felt like all his bones were breaking, but still he pushed on until his body began to slowly, inch by scant inch pull away from the wall.

The gods were paying too much attention to Balinor’s magic being drained to notice Arthur’s movement. He had one shot at this. One moment after he broke himself free before they would launch another attack.

As the enchantment holding him against the wall shattered, Arthur leapt for Balinor. In a single movement, he yanked Bal away from Merlin and into the cradle of his own arms. “Bal, shield!”

Arthur hadn’t been certain if Bal was capable of or had the power to create a shield, but he’d bet everything on Merlin’s protective instincts to have taught him that spell early in life. His faith was rewarded with a golden shimmer surrounding them all, with the gods seething on the outside unable to get in. Still, Bal’s shield wouldn’t be able to defend against them for long.

“Bal, are you hurt?” Arthur demanded first as he looked into his son’s eyes. He had seen well enough what pain the collar had caused Merlin each time it drained him.

Despite having been drained for more than a few minutes already, Bal didn’t appear the least bit harmed. “No, but Daddy—”

“How much power do you have left?” He knew Merlin had bound a great deal of his magic, but he didn’t know exactly how it worked. Could he only access so much at a time? Was only a finite amount available to him over all? These were questions he doubted anyone, but Merlin knew the answers to, but there wasn’t time for that.

“I don’t know.”

“Do you have enough to teleport again?”

Already understanding what Arthur was implying, Balinor’s eyes blazed with determination. “I’m not leaving you again! I’m a Pendwragon!”

Now was not a time for foolish pride, but he couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face. “I know. You’re going to be the greatest Pendragon that ever lived. Which is why I need you to transport you and Daddy back to the castle. Can you do that?”

Bal looked like he was ready to argue again.

“Daddy needs help. There are sorcerers and healers back at the castle that can help him.” At least it was their best shot. Arthur didn’t know if they would be able to get the collar off of him, let alone if they could return his magic to Merlin. But it was better than staying here. “You want to help Daddy, right?”

“But what about you?”

Arthur leaned forward to press his forehead against the curls on Bal’s head. He drew in a long deep breath memorizing the smell of his son’s hair, giving himself a moment to reminisce of the single morning he’d gotten the chance to hold his son close. That would have to be enough. “I’m going to keep my promise and make sure you both make it home safe.”

Behind them, the shield began to shiver against the onslaught of attacks. They were out of time, but Bal kept his hands fisted in Arthur’s shirt. “No! You said you and me and daddy were going to talk, and you were going to teach me to sword fight. You have to come too!”

More than anything Arthur wanted that, but without knowing how much power Balinor had left, it was too much of a risk. Besides, if Arthur didn’t remain behind to keep the gods distracted, they would only follow after. How did he explain that to a five year old child?

“Go Bal! There’s no time to—”

Arthur could live a thousand years, and never be able to explain what prompted him to suddenly push Bal away. There had been no sound, no glint, no warning. Nothing that would have tripped his warrior instincts to move. Arthur liked to believe it had been some parental instinct laying dormant deep inside. The instinct to protect his son at all costs.

That instinct had saved Bal’s life by two inches. At least, that was the length of the sword that had sliced clean through Arthur’s stomach and extended out the other side. If Arthur had still been holding Balinor close as he had before, Excalibur would have cut through them both the way it must have cut through Bal’s shield. Instead, it was only Arthur choking out blood as the world became hazy around him.

Arthur couldn’t feel anything. His mind too shocked to register his own sword in his stomach. Yet still, he knew this was the end. This would be the last thing he would see in this life, and he was glad that it was Balinor. As if time had stopped, and perhaps one day, Arthur would realize that it had, Arthur watched every fleck of emotion in Bal’s eyes.

He saw the confusion quickly turn to horror to devastation and finally to a rage Arthur had never seen before. He watched, as Bal’s blue eyes swirled with gold. His mouth opened in a desperate cry, “DAD!” And the world exploded.

Merlin struggled as he sunk deeper into the darkness. Oblivion was calling him, but he had promised Arthur that he would not give in. He would not let the darkness take him so long as Arthur was alive. Besides, just before he had lost consciousness, he had heard Arthur ask a very important question which he still needed to answer.

Then among the darkness, he heard another familiar voice that he needed to answer. He heard Balinor calling him, begging him to open his eyes. More than anything he wanted to. He wanted to sooth the fear and panic in his son’s voice.

With all the strength he had left, he fought to rise to the surface. The only thing he managed to do was creak a single eye open. He couldn’t see much, his vision hazy and unfocused, but what he saw was enough.

Arthur was holding onto Balinor. His face tucked into the curls on top of his head. And there was a sad resignation in his eyes. One that Merlin recognized too well. It was the one that had been in his eyes when he first sent Merlin away six years ago.

Merlin didn’t know what was happening, but he knew that Arthur was on the verge of sacrificing himself again. Well, Merlin had made the mistake of letting him do it the first time. He would not make the same mistake twice. He needed to fight against the collar draining ever bit of magic from his blood. He needed to fight to protect their family which hadn’t yet even been brought together.

Only he had no magic left to summon. What few drops were left were the only things keeping him alive. But wouldn’t the sacrifice be worth it? Merlin had already been granted five wonderful years with their son. Arthur deserved a chance to experience the same, to know the love that their child was capable of inspiring. He knew that Arthur wanted a chance to grow old with Merlin and to watch Balinor grow, but it may already be a choice of one or the other.

Merlin was ready to be the one to make the sacrifice this time, except something beyond the shield Bal had erected caught his eye. The gods had been using magic trying to break the shield to no success. Yet, they still had the evil smug expression across their face. Merlin realized their plan as one of them whispered a spell and Excalibur appeared in front of them.

It wasn’t hard to guess that they had taken the weapon from Arthur when they had captured him, and it appeared they understood its power. The power of Excalibur could destroy anything, even Balinor’s shield. It would slice through it as if it wasn’t even there.

Merlin opened his mouth to give warning to both of them, but his heart sank when not even a puff of air could escape. Instead, he had to watch helplessly as the sword hurtled towards the two people he loved most in this world. Yet, by some miracle, it was as if his words had reached Arthur anyway. He pushed Balinor away in time to save him, but he didn’t move fast enough to save himself.

The sword sliced through Arthur’s stomach until protruded through the other end. The tip of the sword Merlin had had forged to protect Arthur was now covered in his blood.

Merlin would never be sure if it was his own power or Balinor’s that stopped time, freezing Arthur in that moment of shock so death could not take him. But Merlin was sure that it was Balinor’s magic which broke free from the bind Merlin had once put on him. It exploded out from his tiny body the same way it had all those years ago. Only this explosion was even stronger than before.

Merlin watched as his son’s magic tore through every danger before him. The gods who had been too powerful for Merlin or Arthur alone to vanquish vanished into puffs of smoke in the air. The indestructible sword which had tried to take Arthur’s life turned into dust. The collar which had drained Merlin’s life essence disintegrated into swirls of gold which flooded Merlin’s body once again.

It all happened so fast, Merlin could barely comprehend the meaning of having his magic back under his own control once again until he was standing up and rushing to Arthur’s side. Even with the sword gone, the wound was still there. The blood seeping too fast from the two open wounds in Arthur’s gut. Merlin threw his hands against the wound and pressed his lips to Arthur’s near lifeless ones. With a wild desperation he poured his own magic into him, hoping, praying it would be enough to save him.

When he felt warmth return to Arthur’s skin and was suddenly being kissed back, he knew it had worked. He’d made it to him in time to bring him back from the brink of death.

They unsealed their lips only long enough to whisper each other’s names before they were kissing again. Then they were turning back towards Balinor to thank him for saving them both. But their son was not next to them any longer. His magic was growing stronger, swirling around him in a wild frenzy of golden lightening.

“Merlin. What’s happening?” Arthur’s voice held the same fear in his own chest.

“The magic is too much for him. He can’t control it. It’s controlling him.” Even as he said it, the swirls of magic were beginning to tear apart the very temple surrounding them.

Chucks of brick and mortar crashed down around them. Merlin was forced to throw up his own shield as he pulled Arthur behind him. “Oh my sweet baby.”

“What do we do? How do we stop this?” Arthur asked.

He didn’t know. Merlin didn’t know. The first time this had happened Merlin had been able to stop him before it got out of control. But he could feel that this was more powerful than anything Merlin was even capable of. If he used his magic to fight this, either it would destroy him or Balinor would end up hurt. That was a risk he wasn’t willing to take.

As if somehow reading Merlin’s thoughts, Arthur just nodded. “Then we have to find a way to reach him. He has to take control. He can take control, he’s our son after all.”

Merlin couldn’t help but smile. Arthur was right. Balinor was strong enough to do this.

“Balinor!” Merlin called to him, trying to make his voice loud enough to reach him past the rising thunder. “It’s alright now! They’re gone. You can end this.”

“You saved us, Bal!” Arthur continued. “It’s all over now. Come back to us.”

Though the chaos did not stop, Merlin could sense that they were reaching him. They just needed to go a step further.

“It’s okay my baby Bal. Your daddies are alright now. We’re right here.”

“And we won’t ever leave you again.” Arthur promised.

“Never again.” Merlin vowed as well.

The swirls of magic dissipated and Balinor slowly lowered back to the ground.

Both Arthur and Merlin were there to catch him as he fell out of the sky. They held Bal’s sobbing frame between them, even as they held each other.

“Oh my baby, it’s alright.” Merlin cooed, even as Arthur wiped the tears from his eyes. “Shh. We have you and we’ll never be taken from you again.”

All three of them held each other as the orange sky of sunset watched over them.

Six Months Later

Merlin hummed the last notes of the lullaby. His hand was gently carding through the messy curls over Balinor’s forehead. Arthur couldn’t help but smile as he watched the beautiful scene before him. It had been one that he had the pleasure of watching every night. No matter the amount of work he had or the duties that needed his attention, he always made sure that he was there to watch Merlin tuck Balinor into bed.

Six months ago he had come too close to losing the chance of ever seeing this, and nothing would ever keep him away from it again. That was the promise he had made to himself when all the dust had settled.

It hadn’t been an easy six months. Though Merlin’s return to Camelot had been a joyous one, it had been hard for all of them to settle into the new routine. Merlin had been so used to taking care of himself and Balinor that he didn’t know how exactly to let Arthur in. And Arthur had been without them for so long, he struggled so much as letting them out of his sight. Then there had been the nightmares. The insecure touches and misinterpreted intensions.

But along the way there had also been unconditional love and welcome forgiveness. Together they found each other once again and learned what it meant to be a family. They still had a ways to go, but when Arthur had posed the question of Merlin becoming a second King for Camelot the answer had been yes.

Quietly, Arthur stepped inside the room, peaking over Merlin’s shoulder to see their son out like a light. Usually, he was much harder to get to go down as he was always so full of energy.

“Guess sword lessons after dinner was a great idea after all.” Arthur whispered into Merlin’s ear as he wrapped his arms around him.

Merlin glared at him. “Sure, but you also weren’t the one who had to explain to him why he could sleep with his sword the way he sleeps with that bear Gwen made for him.”

Arthur snorted so loud Balinor twitched as if he was going to wake up. Merlin quickly shoved him away from the bed, hitting his over the head. “You wake him up. You put him back down this time.”

“He’s too tired to wake up,” Arthur argued. “This might be the first night we don’t end up with him in our bed.”

“That’s on you. I had him sleeping in his own bed a year ago. You’re the one that got him addicted to snuggling.” Merlin accused and he was completely right.

Arthur gave another quiet laugh. “Like you actually mind.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Arthur leaned his forehead against Merlin’s shoulder, pulling him close. Merlin let him stand there pressed into his side.

Six years ago, when Arthur had been forced to send Merlin away, he had never thought he would get to feel this again. He hadn’t imagined he would ever be as happy as he was now with his family at his side. Yet, despite going through such a similar set of trials, Merlin had always seemed to believe they would make it here. Whether it was faith or his endless confidence in destiny, Arthur couldn’t resist from understanding it any longer.

“How did you know?” Arthur couldn’t help but ask. “That’s still the one thing I don’t understand. All those years you raised Balinor with stories of me, and you told him that one day I’d come for you both and love you. But when you left, you must have thought I sent you away because of your magic. So how did you know I’d accept your magic? How did you know this would be our future?”

Merlin smiled at him. That same indulgent smile he always gave when Arthur was being an idiot, but Merlin was going to happily explain everything anyway. “Because I saw it.”

Arthur frowned, unsure if he’d heard him correctly.

“It wasn’t long before I gave birth to Balinor, but one night I was laying in bed wondering how our destiny had gone so wrong and how I would ever be able to raise a child alone and it was like somehow Balinor heard me and answered the question. I saw a vision of the future, our future.”

“What did you see?”

“This.” Merlin leaned forward and slipped his arms around Arthur’s waist so he could tuck his head right where it belonged under his chin. “Just this. You. Me. Balinor. A happy, loving family all living together. And I knew that one day, this would all come to pass.”

Arthur stared down at Balinor. Their son. He didn’t think he’d ever stop finding more reasons to love him. Not only had he been the reason they were able to find each other again, but he had been the one to gift Merlin with the hope he needed to keep going.

Arthur leaned forward to press another kiss to the top of Bal’s head. “Goodnight, my sweet prince, and thank you for being all that you are.”

Merlin mirrored his kiss, fussing with the blanket tucked around him, before pulling Arthur back into the adjoining room. They closed the door silently behind them and were finally left alone in peace.

They were still holding onto each other. Only a low firelight casting shadows across the room, but still it was enough light to see the mischief in Merlin’s eyes. “Though there is one thing missing from the vision I saw.”

“And what’s that.” Arthur had given up looking at Merlin’s eyes, to watch as his hands began to wander under the hem of his shirt. Arthur’s own hands were contentedly trailing around the curve of his firm gluts.

Merlin leaned forward, his hot firm lips whispering against Arthur’s own. “Our daughter.”

Chapter Text

Hello!

Thank you so much for reading this fic. I hope you all enjoyed getting to know Arthur, Merlin and little Balinor as much as I enjoyed writing them. Also I want to say thank you to everyone who left me such lovely comments. It brought me so much joy to read them and inspired me to keep writing.

Speaking of keeping writing. After getting to the end of this story I realized I really wanted to do more with these two, so I decided to keep the story going! I am planning on making this a full series with a few different pieces showcasing Arthur and Merlin and the family they create. So for anyone who is interested in following them on their next story feel free to click the link above to read my second piece The Once Beloved Queen. Also you can subscribe to the series to get updates on any other fics related to these two.

So thank you all again.

P.S. If anyone has any specific prompts they desire to see written about these two, feel free to leave them in the comments below!