Chapter Text
Either you're going completely mad and are being paranoid for no good reason, or your weird downstairs neighbor is up to some weirder shit than usual.
It could be either, honestly. Maybe a mix of both.
You two haven’t really spent a lot of time together since he moved into the building a few months ago. It’s a small building, so you see him often. He either keeps to himself or acts like an absolute jackass around you, though. No in between.
He very much has not been minding his own damn business the last couple of weeks. And his jackassery has gone from making rude jokes to… stalking? Maybe? You honestly aren’t sure what the fuck he’s doing.
Case in point: He is currently in the hallway outside your apartment with his fucking video camera. You've been watching him through the peephole for a few minutes. He keeps walking up and down the hallway, camera in front of his face the entire time. He's paused a few times outside your door. You only went to look through the peephole in the first place because he was making a damn ruckus. Must have tripped or something right outside your door.
You're getting sick of this shit, but you're not sure if you should confront him. He seems harmless and there's maybe some totally rational explanation for whatever the fuck he's doing, but you don't actually know him that well.
He comes back around to stand in front of your door and you decide to just say fuck it and open your door.
"What the hell are you doing?" you demand as you swing the door open.
What happens next is an extremely confusing jumble of nonsense that starts with Dave nearly jumping out of his skin. It ends with Dave flat on his ass on the floor and you catching his camera before it can share his fate.
He stares at you for a moment. You stare back. Something seems different about him.
"Hey Karkat," he finally says.
"Is that seriously all you have to say?" you ask. "Hey Karkat?"
"Uh. Yup. Guess so. I can be super succinct sometimes, don’t know if you knew that about me. And wow, your name is Karkat, so tacked that on there just to show that I know who I’m talking to. Nice catch, by the way." He pulls himself up off the ground and makes a huge show of dusting his pants off.
He adjusts his glasses and that's when you notice that, oh, they're not sunglasses for once. They're still the same shape as the ones he usually wears but they're just regular old eye glasses. Odd.
He has a whole lot more freckles all over his face than you initially thought and… yeah, you are going to file that information away for later and attempt to address the actual matter at hand. "Why are you filming my apartment door?"
He looks like a deer in headlights. Without his giant fucking sunglasses obscuring his face, he's surprisingly expressive. "Just getting some shots for a project I'm working on."
"And your project involves my door, why?"
He shrugs. "Just need some doors. I'll blur out the door numbers or something. Not gonna doxx you, man."
"And you can't film the doors on your floor because...?"
He gestures toward the wall and you turn to look. "Walls up here are painted different."
"Okay...?"
"They're red. Ones on my floor are gray."
You're sure you've noticed that before but you honestly have no idea why it matters. Maybe it would make more sense if you knew what the fuck he was making with the footage, but you're not sure you actually want to ask. The last time you asked Dave about some "art" project he was working on, you got trapped in the laundry room with him for an hour while he showed you the worst fucking webcomic you've ever seen in your entire life.
Dave reaches toward you and you nearly step back before realizing, oh yeah. You're still holding his camera. You hand it back to him.
"Oh hell yeah, it was filming the whole time."
"Great?"
"Yeah. That means it witnessed you heroically saving its life."
You wouldn't describe getting lucky enough to catch the camera before it smashed on the floor "heroic", but alright.
"Well." Dave shifts back and forth between his feet for a second. "Think I got all I needed for tonight. I'll see you around?"
"I'm sure you will," you respond. Whether I like it or not you don't add.
He grins at you before walking off down the hallway, presumably to head back down to his own fucking floor.
This isn't the first time something like this has happened. You guess he's not really doing anything wrong, filming the inside of the building. You just don't see why he always seems to be filming places when you happen to be around.
—
carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC]
CG: MY NEIGHBOR IS BEING FUCKING WEIRD.
GC: 1SN'T SH3 4LW4YS W31RD?
GC: SH3 K33PS BON3S 4ND SH1T L4Y1NG 4ROUND
GC: OR D1D SH3 G3T R1D OF TH3 BON3S? TH4T WOULD D3F1N1T3LY B3 W31RD FOR H3R.
CG: NOT ARADIA! MY DOWNSTAIRS NEIGHBOR.
GC: OOOH. H4V3 YOU 4SK3D H1M OUT Y3T?
CG: WHAT? WHY WOULD I DO THAT?
CG: I JUST TOLD YOU HE'S BEING WEIRD.
GC: 4ND? PR3TTY SUR3 W31RD 1S YOUR TYP3 >:]
CG: UGH.
CG: WEIRD IN A KIND OF CREEPY WAY.
GC: >;]
CG: DON'T DO THAT!
GC: DO WH4T?
GC: >;]
GC: 4M 1 DO1NG SOM3TH1NG?
GC: YOU KNOW 1 C4N'T S33 TH3 SCR33N K4RK4T. 1F SOM3TH1NG 1S WRONG W1TH MY M3SS4G3S YOU SHOULD JUST S4Y SO.
CG: FUCK YOU. YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
GC: DO 1?
CG: BACK TO THE POINT! I THINK HE'S TAKING PICTURES OF ME OR SOMETHING.
CG: AND HE KEEPS HANGING AROUND IN THE HALLWAY OUTSIDE MY APARTMENT FILMING, BUT WHENEVER I CATCH HIM HE JUST SAYS SOME NONSENSE AND WON'T ACTUALLY TELL ME WHAT HE'S DOING.
GC: 1S TH3 POOR M4N NOT 4LLOW3D SOM3 PR1V4CY K4RK4T? M4YB3 H1S V3RY F4VOR1T3 HOBBY 1S JUST F1LM1NG H4LLW4YS 4ND TH3N W4TCH1NG TH3 V1D3OS FOR H1MS3LF WH3N H3'S 4T HOM3 4ND C4N'T B3 1N TH3 H4LLW4Y.
CG: I DOUBT THAT'S IT.
GC: YOU H4V3 W31RD HOBB13S TOO CR4B BOY
CG: I'M PRETTY DAMN SURE THAT'S NOT WHAT HE'S DOING.
GC: M4YB3 H3'S ST4LK1NG YOU SO H3 C4N S3CR3TLY MURD3R YOU WH3N TH3 ST4RS 4R3 4L1GN3D 4ND NOBODY 1S 4ROUND TO H34R YOU SCR34M.
CG: THAT IS WHAT I'M WORRIED ABOUT!
GC: H4H4H4
GC: 1F YOU G3T BLUDG3ON3D TO D34TH BY 4 SH1TTY V1D3OC4M3R4 1'M GO1NG TO L4UGH OV3R YOUR GR4V3.
CG: I'M ACTUALLY CONCERNED ABOUT THIS AND YOU'RE LAUGHING AT ME WOW.
GC: B3C4US3 1T 1S H1L4R1OUS K4RK4T.
GC: H3'S PROB4BLY NOT ST4LK1NG YOU OR TRY1NG TO MURD3R YOU.
CG: PROBABLY.
GC: Y3S, PROB4BLY! 3V3N 1 C4NNOT S4Y 4NYTH1NG W1TH 100% C3RT41NTY WH3N 1T COM3S TO TH3 MURD3ROUS WH1MS OF R4NDOM COOLK1DS
CG: WELL HE'S NOT COOL. AND YOU'VE NEVER EVEN MET HIM!
CG: WHAT DO YOU THINK I SHOULD DO?
GC: 1 SUPPOS3 1 C4N H3LP YOU OUT JUST TH1S ONC3. 4R3 YOU T4K1NG NOT3S?
CG: NO.
GC: GOOD! B3C4US3 TH4T WOULD B3 STUP1D 4ND PO1NTL3SS.
CG: MUCH LIKE THE REST OF THIS CONVERSATION.
GC: WOW, RUD3. YOU 4SK M3 FOR 4DV1C3 4ND TH3N C4LL 1T PO1NTL3SS B3FOR3 1 3V3N G1V3 1T TO YOU. DO YOU W4NT TO KNOW WH4T 1 TH1NK YOU SHOULD DO 4BOUT YOUR HOT ST4LK3R N31GHBOR OR NOT?
CG: FINE. YES.
GC: TH4T'S WH4T 1 THOUGHT.
GC: SO. N3XT T1M3 YOU S33 H1M ST4ND1NG OUTS1D3 1N YOUR H4LLW4Y, F1LM1NG W1TH H1S SH1TTY C4M3R4 4ND DO1NG WH4T3V3R 3LS3 1T 1S H3 DO3S, 1 W4NT YOU TO S4Y TH1S. WORD FOR WORD K4RK4T, C4N YOU DO TH4T?
CG: I GUESS.
GC: 4R3 YOU SUR3? 1T H4S TO B3 3X4CTLY WH4T 1'M 4BOUT TO T3LL YOU!
CG: UGH, YES. I CAN DO THAT. JUST TELL ME WHAT IT IS!
GC: OK4Y TH3N, L1ST3N UP.
GC: 4SK H1M
GC: "DO YOU COM3 H3R3 OFT3N?"
CG: I FUCKING HATE YOU SO MUCH.
GC: 4H4H4H4H4H4 1 DONT KNOW WH4T YOU W3R3 3XP3CT1NG. JUST FUCK1NG 4SK H1M WH4T H3'S DO1NG 4ND T3LL H1M TO KNOCK 1T OFF 1F 1T BOTH3RS YOU SO MUCH.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] blocked gallowsCalibrator [GC]!
—
You’ve started checking your peephole every time you hear a weird noise outside your apartment door. This is probably taking up way more of your time than is entirely necessary, but it’s not like you have anything important to do when you’re not at work. So.
Every single noise doesn’t end up being Dave, of course. But sometimes it is and you’re starting to think he spends entirely too much time on your floor, considering he lives downstairs.
You hear a soft thud against the wall one night and go out to investigate. You find Dave just kind of… sitting there, leaning against the wall, whispering something into his phone.
“Are you ever going to fuck off and go back to your own floor, or is this a permanent thing?”
Dave looks up at you. “Somebody’s grumpy. I’m waiting for Aradia.”
Aradia lives right next door to you, so you guess that is a good enough reason for him to be up here. Still. “You can’t do that downstairs?”
He shakes his head. “Nope. Locked myself out. So I gotta wait in the hallway all by myself until she gets here.”
“Is whispering creepily into your phone a vital action that needs to be taken while you wait?”
“Recording voice memos, dude. You’re super nosy, you know that?”
“I am not. You’re just always up here doing weird shit.”
“Weird shit or not, you’re still nosy.”
“Am not.”
You’re pretty sure Dave is about to say, “Are too,” and that you two are going to get caught in an endless loop of inane garbage, but Aradia chooses to make an appearance and save you both from such a terrible fate.
“Am I interrupting something?” she asks.
“No,” you and Dave say, nearly in sync. “We’re just being our usual selves,” Dave adds.
“Lovely. We’re gonna watch some horror movies Karkat, wanna join? It’s always fun to hear Dave scream.”
“I do not scream.”
“I’ll pass,” you tell Aradia. “Try to keep it down, I guess.”
“That shouldn’t be a problem because I do not scream at horror movies.”
“Sure you don’t.”
You watch as Dave and Aradia head into her apartment. You don’t hear screaming of any kind coming from the apartment, so you assume either Dave is telling the truth or that the shared wall of your apartment is doing its job and keeping the sound out.
—
“Are you and Dave dating or something?” you ask Aradia the next time you see her in the mailroom.
She lets out a startled cackle and takes a few moments to collect herself before empathetically telling you, “No.”
“Right. Dumb assumption.”
“The dumbest. He’s interested in someone else, actually.” She gives you a wide, manic grin, pats you on the arm, and then quickly leaves without even getting her mail?
“Everyone in this building is fucking insane,” you mumble to yourself.
—
Your apartment complex has a pool, which isn’t necessary or wanted most of the year because of the shitty weather. It’s summer, though, so it’s an alright way to kill time on hot days.
You rarely actually swim in the pool, due to the fact that you are absolutely not stripping half-naked around your neighbors. But it’s nice to “relax” on the sun-loungers around the pool. You don’t think you’ve ever actually relaxed a single day in your entire life, but you can pretend.
Dave shows up one day while you’re pretending to relax. He, like you, is fully-clothed and appears to have no intention of actually getting into the pool.
He doesn’t say anything, so you choose to ignore him. That is, until you hear the click of his phone camera.
“Can you go three seconds without taking a picture of something?”
“Nope. It’s a medical condition.”
“Is the medical condition Douchebagitis or something?”
“So close. It’s actually IPD.”
“IPD?”
“Insufferable Prick Disorder.”
You snort out a laugh when he says that and that makes Dave laugh as well.
“You sound like a dying goat when you laugh,” he tells you once your giggles have subsided.
He takes a few more pictures. You’re going to turn your paranoia off for a few moments and assume they’re not of you, because you’d really have to kick his ass if they were.
—
"You know," Terezi starts, once you've finished regaling her with the latest incidents of Dave maybe-maybe-not stalking you. "Maybe you're the one who's stalking him."
"What? No! How the hell am I stalking him?"
She gives you a toothy grin before responding. "Think about it. He's just hanging around, doing whatever the fuck his coolkid self is always doing, filming hallways and shit. And you always show up."
"Because he is filming outside my apartment!"
"And the mailroom. And the laundry room. And the pool. And outside in the street."
"Well why does it always happen to be when I'm around?"
"Maybe it's not? He probably films when you're not around. You're just a self-centered loser."
"Am not."
"Are too."
You groan. "Okay, okay. Fine. Maybe he's not specifically filming me."
"You gave up on that idea so easily. Where's the passion, Karkat? The conviction?"
"You literally just said I was being a self-centered loser and now, what, you want me to keep doing that?"
"I'm sure you will whether I want you to or not."
"Fucking... whatever. That's not the point! Dave was definitely following me home the other day."
"Oh?"
"Yeah! He was walking a block behind me the whole way."
"And that means he was following you?"
"I was leaving work. He doesn't go to school over there, so why would he be going in the same direction?"
Terezi takes a sip of her coffee. Taps the straw against the side of her lips a few times. "And you know exactly where he goes to school how?"
"He never shuts the fuck up. He told me."
"Hm."
"Hm?"
"Did you say anything to him while he was 'following you home'?"
"No."
"Did he try to hide or anything when he noticed that you saw him?"
"No?"
"So you have no idea if he even noticed he was following you."
"Guess not."
"Yeah. I think I know exactly what is going on."
"Do you?"
She flicks the wrapper from her straw at you. It hits you right in the face and you wonder how the hell her aim is always so good. "You're a paranoid, self-centered loser who needs to get out of your apartment more."
"I'm out of my apartment right now."
"And when was the last time before this? Work doesn't count."
You think for a moment. Then another moment. "I went to the grocery store last week."
"Doesn't count."
"I hung out with you recently, didn't I?"
"That was last month."
"Ah."
Terezi's phone suddenly starts going off and she gets up. "That's my cue to get the fuck out of here. Go make friends with Dave or something and I'm sure he'll tell you all about his weird webseries."
"I'll get right on that."
—
You hear Dave out on his porch taking pictures sometimes. He can totally take pictures all he wants, you guess. But it’s a little disconcerting to hear the tell-tale click of his camera shutter going off constantly while you’re just trying to exist on your own porch.
You hear it sometimes too in the hallways. Again, he can take pictures all he wants. Not your fucking business.
It is your business if he’s taking photos of you, though. No matter what Terezi says, you are still convinced that’s a thing.
You think you catch him a few times. In the hallway, in the mailroom, in the laundry room, even outside. Luckily, you don’t see him “following” you home again, but you’re pretty sure he’s been taking pictures of you when you’re just minding your own business on the sidewalk out front of the building.
“What are you doing?” you ask him one day when he’s sitting on the front steps, camera snapping away.
“It’s a nice day. Just taking some street pics.”
You try to glance at the viewfinder, but you obviously can’t see anything suspicious from there. If he’s been taking photos of you, they aren’t going to readily be on display like that.
“Did you wanna see?” he asks. “Mostly just flowers and shit from today, but there’s probably some interesting ones in there.”
You don’t really want to see. But maybe he’ll slip up and accidentally show you something other than “flowers and shit”.
You sit next to him on the steps, careful to maintain a bit of distance while still being able to see the screen on his camera.
He starts flipping through things. Just as he said, there’s a whole fucking lot of flowers. A couple of moths. A few shots of the Applebee’s down the road for some reason.
“Ah yeah, now we’re getting to the interesting shit,” Dave says, just as he flips to a selfie of him in what seems to be a bathroom mirror.
“I wouldn’t exactly call that interesting. Everyone takes pictures like that.”
“Naw man, I invented this shit. Nobody took mirror selfies before I did.”
“That’s a bold faced lie and we both know it.”
“You don’t gotta believe me,” he responds. “Mine do look way cooler with the shades, though.”
“Because that’s what we all look for in a selfie. An endless loop of the mirror and our glasses reflecting back at one another until we die.”
“Glad you get it, dude.”
He shows you a couple more selfies, then flips to a photo of the laundry room. There’s nothing off about it, other than the fact that he apparently just has photos of the laundry room on his camera.
“You must be lacking in subject matter if you’re taking pictures of our mediocre apartment building,” you tell him.
He laughs. It sounds a little… nervous? Hm. “They’re for a project,” is all he offers as an explanation.
He flips through a few more pictures, but you’ve mostly stopped paying attention to them. You suddenly find that his endless stream of bullshit commentary is somehow more interesting.
—
You are not stalking Dave, contrary to what Terezi keeps saying. He is the one stalking you.
And in your quest to figure out what the hell he is up to, you seem to have found his YouTube channel.
“TurntechGodhead is the stupidest username I’ve ever seen,” you say to yourself, as if your fucking username on every website isn’t equally stupid.
Dave doesn’t seem to actually have any sort of cohesive theme to his channel. The most recent video features him and another boy falling on their asses while trying to skateboard.
You scroll through dozens of videos featuring shitty rap, a girl who looks a lot like Dave reciting poetry while Dave holds up indecipherable drawings, Dave giving reviews of apple juice, a few really weird videos of Dave and Aradia showing off dead things in jars, and a bunch of other pointless nonsense.
You end up accidentally staying up all night watching Dave’s channel. You eventually get back to before he moved into your building, and there is no sign of you in any of the videos. You guess that’s good?
There’s also nothing featuring strange shots of the hallway, and he sure does walk around recording the hallway a lot. It must be for something else if it’s not for his YouTube channel.
You are equally unsuccessful at finding anything useful on his TikTok, Instagram, or Twitter. His Facebook is private, and you are absolutely not adding him, so you guess that one is a dead-end.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC]
CG: NONE OF HIS WEIRD HALLWAY VIDEOS ARE ON HIS YOUTUBE CHANNEL.
CG: OR ANYWHERE ELSE THAT I CAN FIND.
CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING RECORDING ALL THIS SHIT IF HE’S NOT POSTING IT ANYWHERE?
GC: LOL 4R3 YOU ST4LK1NG D4V3 FORR34L NOW?
CG: NO!
CG: I’M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY HE’S STALKING ME.
GC: K1ND4 S33MS L1K3 YOU'R3 ST4LK1NG H1M
GC: 4LSO WHY WOULD H3 JUST POST V1D3OS OF YOU ON H1S PUBL1C YOUTUB3 CH4NN3L 1F H3 W4S S3CR3TLY F1LM1NG YOU?
GC: TH4T DO3SN'T S33M V3RY SM4RT
CG: I DON’T KNOW! HE DOESN’T EXACTLY SEEM LIKE A GENIUS.
GC: M4YB3 H3 1S
GC: 4ND 4LL OF US 1D1OTS JUST 4R3N'T SM4RT OR COOL 3NOUGH TO UND3RST4ND TH3 D33P M34N1NG B3H1ND 4LL H1S TOP S3CR3T H4LLW4Y V1D3OS >:P
CG: WHATEVER.
CG: I’M GOING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT HE’S UP TO YOU AND YOU’RE GOING TO FEEL SO STUPID FOR THINKING NOTHING WEIRD IS GOING ON.
GC: WH4T3V3R YOU S4Y CR4BBY P4NTS!
carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC]
—
"Do you feel anything in here?" you hear Dave's voice drift down the hallway as you're walking towards the mailroom.
“The fuck is he doing now,” you mumble to yourself.
"Not right now, no. Feels pretty dead in here. Pardon the pun," Aradia responds.
"What, should it be feeling undead instead?"
"Pft, no."
You stomp into the mailroom and find Dave standing in there with his camera out, filming Aradia.
"I think I feel something now," Aradia says as soon as she sees you.
"Huh?" Dave turns around. "Oh! Hey Karkat."
"The fuck are you two doing now?"
"Discussing otherworldly events," Aradia responds.
Dave puts his camera down. He grins at you and he looks almost... embarrassed? "You know how it is."
"I don't, but whatever."
"Oh Karkat, you don't even know how very much you do." Aradia smiles at you in the usual way she does, the way that makes you feel like she's going to murder you one day but like. In a friendly way. Before you can say anything in response, she's off with a vague wave in Dave's direction.
"If you two are ghost hunting or something, I highly doubt you're going to find any in the mailroom in the middle of the day."
"That's what the ghosts want you to think, dude. They probably party here all day long."
"Would explain all the missing mail."
Dave lingers while you grab your mail. He doesn’t make any move to get his own mail or strike up a conversation, though he does seem like he’s about to say something a couple of times.
“Did you need something?” you ask him. He mumbles something that you don’t quite catch. “Huh?”
“Oh, uh. Not really. Seeing if Aradia’s gonna come back ‘cause we weren’t really done. Don’t know why she just up and left.”
You glance at his camera. The light is off, so you guess that means he’s not secretly filming you (at least right now). “Have fun with that, then.”
“You bet. See you later.”
“Sure.”
—
Dave suddenly begins showing up at your apartment every day, sometimes more than once, and the reasons for doing so are getting increasingly ridiculous.
The first time is legitimate, you guess. He'd gotten a piece of mail for you in his mailbox. It was very clearly a piece of junk, though. When you'd asked him why he didn't just throw it away he said some shit about not wanting to mess with the mail?
The second time he was asking to borrow batteries. At 11:45 PM. "I can totally give them back when I get a new pack from the store tomorrow."
"Why the fuck would I want back used batteries?"
"Oh naw I meant like. I'll buy more and give you a new set back. You can even pick which ones you want outta the pack."
"You don't need to do that."
He did, in fact, do that the next day.
The fourth time he'd brought a bunch of unripe bananas because he'd "forgotten" he was allergic and wanted to know if you wanted them.
(You'd totally taken them because hey, free food. But what the fuck.)
He shows up twice the fifth day, the first time to ask if you think the building is haunted (you do not) and the second time to ask if you knew what some weird bug he found on his porch was (again, you do not).
He's back for the sixth day in a row and you are seriously starting to get suspicious. What does he really want?
"Do you take your porch plants in when it rains really hard? Supposed to be a wild storm tonight," he says in place of an actual greeting.
"Uh." You kind of just stare at him for a moment. "If it's really bad, yeah. Why?"
"Was thinking about getting some plants too."
"Good for you?"
"Totally. Gonna get some lil downstairs neighbors for your plants. It's gonna be great."
"Are your plants going to climb up the porch to ask mine weird questions all the time too?"
He grins at you. "Absolutely. Your plants are probably super smart and all that."
"Can plants be smart?"
"Oh man yeah they can. They're all sitting pretty harvesting us for carbon dioxide or some shit. Should bring my friend Jade around sometimes, she could totally tell you all about how wicked smart plants are."
You're half expecting him to show up the next day with his friend to harass you about plant intelligence.
That isn’t what ends up happening. Instead, you find him standing outside on the sidewalk... filming the back side of the building?
The wind and rain are supposed to be done for the next few days, so you start bringing your plants back out to the porch. That's when you spot him.
"What the hell are you doing?" you call out to him.
Dave startles, then hastily puts his camera down. "Vlog stuff," he calls back once he's regained his composure. "Plants coming back to enjoy the great outdoors?"
"I guess."
"Look down," he tells you. "Got your plants their first new friends."
You look down as instructed and see that Dave has placed a bright red planter box along the balcony railing. Inside is what seems to be an assortment of ferns.
"Why are you filming your plants from the street and not the porch?" you ask him.
"Gotta get all the angles, dude."
"Right."
Someone passes Dave on the sidewalk and gives you two an odd look. You guess it is a little weird to be having a shouting conversation from your porch.
Dave must realize that too. "I'm gonna come up there so we can chat like normal people."
You don't really see any reason to keep "chatting", but you don't argue with him.
Soon enough, you hear a knock at your front door.
"Want help taking the rest of your plants out?"
You shrug. You're not really sure how you feel about him being inside your apartment but you guess some help would be nice.
He actually does help, carefully lifting your plants and taking them back outside. He sets most of them in the "correct" spots and okay that is a little weird. How much attention does he pay to your porch???
"I can see where the different pots are from underneath," he explains when he sees you staring at him oddly.
You guess that makes sense. There are gaps in the porch floor. Still a little strange, though.
Dave doesn't actually say much (for once), just helps with the plants before telling you he has to go.
"See ya around, Karkat." He waves and rushes out of the apartment.
"What a fucking weirdo," you mumble.
—
You’re minding your own business, attempting to open your apartment door while your arms are filled with far too many grocery bags (you meant to only get a few things, okay?). Just as you get it open, something goes rushing past your legs into your apartment and the bags all go tumbling to the ground.
“The fuck?” you shout. You quickly gather up all your bags. Thankfully, nothing broke and only one of the bags actually spilled on the ground.
You cautiously peer into your apartment once you’ve got the bags placed inside the door. What the hell ran in there?
“Uh, hello?” You leave the front door open, just in case whatever it was needs to make a run for it. Or in case you need to make a run for it.
Then you hear it. A very obvious “meow” coming from your kitchen. You make your way in that direction and. Yup. There is an orange cat in there, sitting on your counter like he fucking owns the place.
“This is definitely not your kitchen,” you tell the cat.
“Mrow,” the cat responds. Because it is a fucking cat.
“Right. Let’s figure out where you belong.” You slowly approach the cat. He just sits there and watches you. “Not gonna run off?” you ask him. As if he’s going to answer you.
You hold out a hand for the cat once you’re close enough and he happily butts his face against it. At least he’s friendly, you guess.
You pet the cat for a minute before taking a look at the collar. “Dorito?” The cat makes a noise of acknowledgement. “What a dumb na- of course you’re Dave’s cat.”
On the other side of the tag with the cat’s name, ‘Dave Strider’ is engraved, along with a phone number.
You keep one hand on the cat as you pull your phone out with the other one. He seems content to let you pet him, but you don’t want to risk him running off again.
The phone rings a few times. “Come on asshole, pick up.” You don’t pick up for unknown numbers, but you also aren’t currently missing a cat. Has Dave even noticed his cat is missing?
The call goes to voicemail but instead of leaving one, you immediately call Dave again. He picks up this time. “Hello?” He sounds out of breath. “Who’s this?”
“Your cat is in my kitchen,” you say instead of actually answering him.
“Fucking hell, really? I’ve been looking for him everywhere.”
“Yup.”
“I’ll be up in a few. Thanks, Karkat!”
While you wait, you figure you might as well put your groceries away. You close the front door too, so Dave’s cat can’t leave the confines of your apartment.
About ten minutes later, there’s a knock on your door. You grab the cat, who makes absolutely no fuss about being picked up, and go to open the door.
“Dorito!” Dave immediately reaches for the cat and you gladly hand him over. He still sounds out of breath and his face and neck are flushed, as if he ran all the way here from wherever the hell he was. “He got off his leash.”
“You walk your cat?”
“Yeah? Doesn’t everyone?”
You have no idea, honestly. Your step-sister had cats growing up but you never saw her put any of them on a leash. “I don’t think so, but I honestly don’t know enough about cats to argue with you.”
“How’d you get back in the building?” Dave asks the cat. Dorito makes a noise that could probably be interpreted as some sort of response. “You almost got the apartment right, I guess.”
“Scared the fuck out of me and made me drop all my groceries.”
“Ah man, sorry. Don’t know what’s gotten into him.”
You shrug. You didn’t even know Dave had a cat, so you definitely can’t offer any insight into what might have “gotten into him”.
Later that night, you get a text and realize that, oh great. Your possible stalker of a neighbor now has your phone number.
thanks again for finding dorito
hope your groceries are alright totally forgot to ask
THEY’RE FINE. NOTHING BROKEN.
sweet
You watch the chat for a moment and see that Dave is typing. Then he’s not. Then he is again.
You toss your phone onto the table next to your couch. If Dave is hellbent on typing a novel or whatever the hell he’s doing, you’ll read it when you get to it.
—
carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC]
CG: IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A CAT TO STALK SOMEONE ON THEIR OWNER'S BEHALF?
GC: 4BSOLUT3LY, Y3S.
GC: F3L1N3S 4R3 QU1T3 N3F4R1OUS, 1 H34R!
CG: I CAN'T TELL IF YOU'RE MAKING FUN OF ME OR NOT.
GC: K4RK4T MY B3LOV3D FR13ND
GC: 1 4M 4LW4YS M4K1NG FUN OF YOU >:]
CG: YEAH. I SHOULD HAVE EXPECTED THAT.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC]
—
Dave seems almost… normal, lately. Which is itself very concerning.
You haven’t seen him filming in the hallways outside your room (or anywhere else for that matter), but could just mean that he’s getting better at hiding what he’s doing.
You make a comment about it when you see him sitting around outside your building one evening. “No camera? Think I’ve forgotten what you look like without that damn thing in front of your face.”
“Oh man, I have to get a new one. Dropped it and you weren’t there to catch it with your sickass reflexes.”
“How the hell did you drop it?”
“Dunno if I should tell you, dude. I got a reputation to maintain.”
“And I have no idea what the fuck that reputation is supposed to be.”
“You wound me.”
“Yeah, yeah. How did you break your camera?”
“It was dark and Aradia came up behind me and said, ‘Boo’.”
“Oh my god. That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Right? She doesn’t even feel bad about it. Just called me a weenie.”
“Maybe that’s because you’re a weenie.”
“Wow. Rude.”
You two chat for a while after that and you absolutely refuse to acknowledge that it's at least semi-pleasant.
—
You think you hear your own voice coming from downstairs a few times. You message Terezi about it. She tells you to either go downstairs and ask Dave about it or stop bothering her.
You do neither of those things.
—
“You know, you should just ask him for help. You’re at a standstill with this series.”
“Ugh, I know.”
Aradia and Dave immediately stop talking as soon as they notice you enter the laundry room. There are no cameras in sight, so you’re assuming Dave hasn’t gotten a new one yet.
Aradia gives you a look that you really don’t even want to begin trying to interpret. “Hi, Karkat. Laundry day for you too?”
“No,” you respond. “I’m just coming into the laundry room to party.”
“Right on,” Dave says. “Should tell your clothes you’re not gonna clean them, in that case.”
You roll your eyes and make your way over to one of the free washing machines. Aradia and Dave don’t return to their previous conversation and you try very hard not to be a paranoid, self-obsessed loser and make their strange silence all about you.
One of the machines goes off and Dave goes to open it. “Ah, man. It didn’t come out.”
You glance over and see that Dave is holding up a white shirt that appears to have a… bloodstain on it. Lovely.
Dave must notice you looking because he quickly reassures you that, “It’s fake blood.”
“Right.”
“I told you it wasn’t going to come out,” Aradia says. “Honestly, you should just leave it. Looks nice like that.”
“You can have it, then. Fake or not, I’d rather not go around with bloodstains on my clothes.”
“Your loss.”
Dave tosses the shirt over to Aradia. “Dry it with your clothes.”
The two of them make idle chatter, sometimes trying to drag you into the conversation, until both Dave and Aradia’s clothes are done drying. The two of them gather up their things and say goodbye to you before leaving.
You’re pretty sure you hear Aradia say, “Ask him for help,” again as the two of them walk off down the hall.
—
You get an explanation for the fake-blood covered shirt when Dave uploads a thrilling video on his TikTok later that day. It is captioned “how to maek fake blood” and features Aradia booking it out of some random apartment building carrying a bottle of, presumably, fake blood. Near the end, she opens the bottle and starts squeezing it in the direction of the camera.
That doesn't give any explanation as to why they decided to do that, but you're probably better off not knowing. You also still do not get an explanation for any of the weird filming Dave is always doing around the building.
—
It's just past midnight. You are 100% sure you just heard a recording of your own fucking voice coming from downstairs and you absolutely cannot take this anymore.
Terezi seems hellbent on trying to convince you that you're insane, so you text someone that you know is even more insane.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering arachnidsGrip [AG]
CG: I THINK MY NEIGHBOR IS STALKING ME.
AG: This is my pro8lem how????????
CG: ...YOU OWE ME A FAVOR. HELP ME FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCK HE'S UP TO.
AG: ::::0 Karkat, are you asking me to stalk some8ody for you?
CG: NO! JUST FIND OUT WHAT HIS PROBLEM IS!
AG: And you expect me to do that 8y stalking him.
CG: MAYBE A LITTLE.
AG: How come it's ok8y for me to stalk someone when you need me to 8ut when I do it normally it's "Vriska don't do that," and "You need to just leave her alone," and "Stop hacking into people's emails and deleting important messages."
CG: BECAUSE IT IS FUCKING UNHINGED TO LOGIN TO YOUR EX'S EMAIL AND DELETE MESSAGES FROM THEIR FRIENDS! WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS!
CG: FORGET IT. I'LL FIGURE IT OUT MYSELF.
AG: Which neighbor is it? The hot one or the creepy one?
CG: UH, THE DOUCHEBAG THAT WEARS SUNGLASSES INSIDE.
AG: Hot one, got it.
AG: That'll make things easier. He's friends with this nerd Terezi's fucking with right now.
CG: WAIT REALLY?
CG: WHY AM I JUST NOW FINDING THIS OUT?
CG: AND WHY IS HE "THE HOT ONE"?
AG: 8ecause you think he's hot duuuuuuuuh.
CG: I DO NOT.
AG: You do. ::::)
AG: Irrelevant to the matter at hand, though!!!!!!!!
AG: What are we talking here? What do you want me to find out exactly?
CG: I THINK HE'S BEEN FILMING ME. I CAN HEAR HIM DOWNSTAIRS LISTENING TO RECORDINGS OF ME. I WANT TO KNOW WHY.
AG: Have you tried asking him?
CG: WHY THE FUCK WOULD I DO THAT? IF HE'S NOT FILMING ME I'LL SEEM LIKE A PARANOID ASSHOLE.
AG: And asking me to basically stalk him doesn't do that????????
CG: NOT IF HE DOESN'T FIND OUT!
AG: This is a really weird way of flirting with him 8ut who am I to judge.
CG: 1. I AM NOT FLIRTING WITH HIM! 2. YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY JUDGING ME, DON'T FUCKING PRETEND YOU'RE NOT. AND 3. YOU ARE DELIGHTED THAT I'M LETTING YOU DO YOUR WEIRD STALKER BULLSHIT.
AG: Tooooooootally.
arachnidsGrip [AG] is an idle chum!
Vriska disappears and after two hours of nothing, you decide to try and get some sleep.
You wake up to a message just after sunrise.
AG: Ooooooooh maaaaaaaan.
CG: ?
AG: Guess you're not just a paranoid asshole lol.
CG: WHAT DID YOU FIND? IS IT BAD?
AG: Soooooooo.
AG: He's filming you 8ut honestly it somehow is hilarious and not that creepy.
CG: UH.
CG: OKAY.
CG: HOW DID YOU FIND THIS OUT?
AG: I have my methods ::::)
AG: youtube.com/c/TimeOnMySide
CG: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
AG: Watch it, nerd.
You click on the link, unsure of what exactly you're going to find. Has he been posting videos of you online or something?
You scan through the thumbnails and don't immediately see anything that looks like you, though it does seem like most of these are filmed in your shared apartment building.
Some of the more recent videos have bizarre titles, but the earlier ones look like speed draws? You click the first one.
You're assuming Vriska found something in the videos but she sent you the channel as a whole, not anything specific.
The video starts up and even though Dave's face isn't in it, it's clearly him based on the voice and the unique pattern of scars on his hand.
(You don't dwell on why you recognize the pattern of scars on your downstairs neighbor’s left hand.)
"Yo," Dave says on screen. "Welcome to my channel or whatever. Gotta draw some still lifes for my drawing class so figured I'd make things a little less boring and talk into the void while I do them, y'know? Professor didn't really appreciate my last few assignments because they 'Didn't fit the prompt' and were 'Vaguely disturbing', so we are strictly sticking with the prompts this time folks. Dude wants 30 pictures of fruit, he's gonna get 30 pictures of fruit."
Dave is sketching messily with what looks like charcoal maybe? Or just a really soft pencil you guess?
You speed up the video. It seems pretty normal. Almost boring, actually. Very unlike the other YouTube channel you know Dave has.
He just kind of aimlessly rambles while he draws. Talks about visiting his sister earlier in the day, complains about his professor a little, mentions a few ideas he has for other "dull ass drawings" he can do.
Near the end of the video, Dave stops talking and you can hear… faint, angry whispers? It only lasts a couple seconds, and then Dave is finishing up the drawing and the video ends.
CG: ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME? THIS JUST LOOKS LIKE SOME WEIRD ART CHANNEL.
AG: Watch all the videos dum8ass!
AG: In order. Don't skip any. You need to fully experience this nonsense.
CG: OKAY?
AG: Just fucking do it. Trust me ::::)
CG: YEAH ALRIGHT.
You watch the next few videos. Mostly more drawings with Dave rambling behind the camera. The second one is seemingly normal, though it does feature some more of the whispery voice.
The third one glitches halfway through, then goes black. The whispers start to overlap and you can’t make out any decipherable words. That is, until a coherent sentence comes through.
"There's something wrong-"
There's something... familiar about the voice, but it's slightly distorted so you don't immediately think anything of it.
The video ends abruptly and you move on to the next one.
Dave is still not on camera in this one, but he's not drawing. Instead, he's filming the hallways of your apartment building.
"So that last video was really fucking weird, huh? Don't know what the hell happened at the end there. Lost most of my footage and the file just had that whacky whispery shit at the end. Thought I'd upload it anyway, make things interesting."
Dave sounds odd while he talks about the last video. He's whispering and he sounds a little shaky for some reason.
A large shadow runs across the screen and then a distant, distorted voice says, "What the hell are you doing?"
Dave drops the camera and the video ends.
You groan. Alright. So that was clearly you, even though you didn’t actually appear on camera.
The next video, aptly titled ‘Ghost Plants’, is less than a minute long. It features a slideshow of photos of your porch, from outside and from below. The porch is clearly empty in most of them, but a few of the photos seem to have an overlay on them where your plants are faintly visible.
The following video features Dave behind the camera again. He's standing in what seems to be his living room, filming the ceiling.
A faint, distorted voice can be heard. It's clearly you, though it seems Dave has at least done something to conceal your real voice.
“You can all hear that, right?” Dave whispers.
A ringing can be heard. It sounds like Dave is calling someone with speakerphone on.
“To what do I owe the pleasure? It's 2:00 am.” It's Aradia.
“Yeah yeah, you're always up at 2:00 am.”
“Do you hear anything from next door?”
“From the empty apartment? No.”
“There is definitely someone talking in there. Are you sure?”
“I can hear a whole lot of whispering coming through the phone. Somewhere there with you?”
“It's not coming from here. It's coming from the place above mine.”
“You can come up here if you want, but there is definitely no noise coming through my walls.”
The video cuts to a scene of Dave in what must be Aradia’s apartment. He's filming one of her walls, where you can see a shelf covered in books and… bones? Honestly, that is not the weirdest part of any of this.
Nothing but eerie silence and the sound of Dave and Aradia breathing can be heard.
“Maybe he stopped talking.”
“I never heard anything from up here. I think the ghost only likes chatting to you.”
The next part of the video features the hallway again. You can, once again, hear nothing but breathing.
That is, until Aradia starts speaking faintly. “Ooooo, I'm a creepy ghost who likes to bother everyone in the middle of the night.”
“Okay, yeah. I can hear you through your door. Can’t hear anything coming from your neighbor, though.”
“My ghost neighbor, you mean?”
“Yeah, sure.”
The video ends with Dave back in his apartment, once again filming the ceiling as your disembodied voice makes indecipherable chatter.
The next few videos feature similar content.
Dave in the hallway at various hours of the day, apparently trying to see if he can hear anything coming from your apartment.
Dave in his apartment. Your faint voice gets louder and more coherent in each video, though thankfully everything you say is vague statements and nothing clearly identifying.
It's rather clear at this point that Dave is attempting to make some sort of fictional ghost story. Because he clearly knows who you are and that you live above him.
There's another short slideshow video featuring the mailroom. A few of the photos feature “orbs” surrounding the area where your mailbox is. There's a few that have an overlay similar to the “ghost plants”. The figure in those photos is very much you-shaped, though again there is nothing clearly identifying unless you already know who the person in the pictures actually is.
Guess you were right about him taking pictures of you. Take that, Terezi.
You recognize the next video as the one Dave and Aradia were filming in the mailroom when you ran into them there.
They must have gone back to film a second time, because there's additional footage after the part where you interrupted them.
Aradia says, “I think I feel something now,” and then some whispering starts up. They’re clearly clips of you talking, probably from when Dave had the camera on while you were in there, but neither Dave nor Aradia react to them.
A note from Dave in the description says “Didn’t hear any of that whispering until I played back the tape. I can only actually hear the voice when I'm in my apartment.”
You spend the next few hours watching this plot line unfold. There are more “shadow person” photos A.K.A. heavily edited pictures of you. There's even a few video clips of what appear to be your actual shadow, though when Dave turns in the direction you would be in the video is cut so it looks like nobody's there.
There's a slightly over-the-top video featuring Dave and Aradia having an unsuccessful seance. You’re glad you apparently can’t hear anything at all from Aradia’s apartment when those two are doing shit in there because holy fuck. What a trainwreck.
Dave himself never appears in any of the videos. You see his hands, hear his voice, but he is behind the camera the entire time.
The most recent video is also one of the longest. Dave is, once again, out in your hallway.
You watch as he goes up to the door and knocks. Judging from the angle of his arms, it looks like he must be filming with some sort of head camera, maybe?
The door opens and you expect to see yourself on the other side, to see your apartment, but the video glitches slightly and then the door opens to… nothing. Nobody is on the other side, just a dark, empty apartment.
You pause and rewind to watch that part again. The “glitch” must be there to hide the fact that Dave is at a different apartment after the door opens.
He enters the apartment and starts looking around. There's nothing inside, but as he walks around there's glitches in the video and faint shapes that look like furniture or frames on the wall appear and disappear.
“Hello?”
“Fuck off,” your voice, clear as day, responds right before the video ends.
—
You spend the next couple hours trying to figure out how the fuck to react to all of this.
You're confused, mostly. Dave must have people who he could have filmed and recorded with their permission if he wanted to make some weird ghost webseries. Why wasn't Aradia the fucking ghost living above him?
You finally decided that, ugh. You should just go talk to him.
You go downstairs and it's not until you're already pounding on Dave's door that you realize you're still in your pajamas.
Ah well.
“Sup? We having an impromptu pajama party or something?”
“Why the fuck do you have a YouTube series where I'm a ghost?”
“Uh.” Dave just kind of stands there and stares at you for a minute. “You're not actually a ghost.”
“Is that seriously all you have to say for yourself?” You huff. “And what do you mean I’m not actually a ghost?”
“Oh man there's a twist I want to do just gotta figure out how to do i- Dorito no.” You watch as Dave catches his cat with his foot before the thing can bolt out the door. “Do you wanna come inside?”
“So you can murder me?”
“More like so we can talk without letting my cat escape, but whatever floats your boat dude.”
“Getting murdered does not float my boat.”
“Me neither. We have so much in common.”
You don’t actually think this asshole is going to murder you, so you follow Dave inside.
“Did Aradia show you the series?” he asks.
“No. A friend of mine did. Doubt you know her.”
“Ah man, didn’t think that many people were watching.”
You shrug. “Are you going to explain or not? You do know people generally don’t like being filmed without their permission, right?”
You watch as Dave starts picking at a hangnail. “I mean. It’s not really noticeable as you?”
“You were still filming me without my permission. And it’s definitely my voice in the last video, you didn’t cover it up at all.”
He furrows his brow. Picks at his hangnail a little more. Then sighs. “Yeah. My bad. It was kind of an accident at first. Got recordings of your voice a few times when I wasn’t meaning to and then I just kind of… kept doing it, I guess.”
“And filming me? And the pictures?”
“Caught you in the hallway by accident a couple times and you have some like. Insanely creepy looking shadows so I couldn’t resist. Should have absolutely asked after the first couple times, though. I know.”
“So glad to know I have ‘insanely creepy looking shadows’.”
“You saw the videos. You cannot tell me it’s not true.”
“Whatever. Is it seriously that easy to record me talking in my apartment?”
“The acoustics in this building are insane. I can hear you talking in there all the time, even if I can’t always make out what you’re saying. But if I’m in Aradia’s apartment? Nothing. Even though she’s right next door to you. We didn’t even have to edit anything when we filmed in her place because you can’t hear a damn thing from next door.”
You guess that makes sense. You can hear Dave in his apartment better than you can hear Aradia, but you always just figured she was just quieter.
“Anyway,” Dave says after a few moments of silence. “Sorry, I guess? I didn’t think it was that big of a deal at first and by the time I realized I should probably have asked you the videos were already up and I kind of backed myself into a corner?”
“That is the shittest apology I’ve ever heard.”
“Is it really?”
“No. It’s up there, though.”
Dave looks like he’s thinking for a moment, then he asks, “Do you want me to take the videos down?”
You surprise yourself when you don’t immediately want to tell him that yes, he should take his fucking stupid webseries featuring distorted images and recordings of you down. “What’s the twist?”
“Huh?”
“You said there’s a twist. That I’m not a ghost. What is it?”
“The twist would honestly require me to actually film you. Or get someone else, I guess. Now that I’m really thinking about it, I could have just been filming someone else talking and editing it over the videos of me in my apartment, huh?”
“You absolutely could have been doing that, yes. And yet you didn’t.”
“Would you uh. Be interested? In helping me film the series? Once I finally get my new camera.”
You carefully consider that. Do you want your face to actually be all over the internet? It’s not really, you guess. Dave has less than 1,000 people subscribed to his TimeOnMySide channel. Wait. “Is this like the fucking Lake House? Is that seriously your big ‘twist’?”
“What the hell is the Lake House?”
“The movie? With Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock?”
“So sorry to my man Keanu, but I haven’t seen it.”
“We are changing that right now. Come upstairs.” You stand up and motion for Dave to follow you.
“Dude no, that sounds like a terrible idea. If I don’t see it then I definitely cannot be copying anything from it if that’s what you’re trying to accuse me of doing.”
“Your whole setup is entirely different. I doubt anyone would care even if you were copying it.” And he hasn’t actually told you the twist, you guess.
You have no idea why you are so hellbent on making Dave watch a movie with you now, but after a bit of convincing, he follows you upstairs.
—
“Did you actually think my series was gonna be like this or was this just an excuse to get me to come watch a romance film with you in your apartment?”
“I didn’t think it was going to be like this! Just the being in the same place but different times part. Your series is clearly horror, not romance.”
“Clearly.”
“So? Was that where you were going with this?”
“I guess? I was thinking more like. Different universes, though. Not same universe different times.”
“And how are you supposed to make that happen?”
“I got a few ideas, if you’re on board.”
You’re not sure if you should be “on board”, but. Now that you know Dave wasn’t actually stalking you and was just filming an idiotic series that didn’t even use recognizable footage of you, you guess it would be alright. Terezi does keep telling you that you need to get a hobby.
“Fine. But you have to show me any footage you take of me before you post it.”
“Deal.”