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A few months ago, Anakin was so excited for Jedi training; he wanted to be just like Master Qui-Gon and Master Obi-Wan. Now, he didn’t even feel like he deserved it. Master Obi-Wan had been trying to teach him basic Force Sense abilities, and Anakin seemed to struggle with all of them. He knew he was supposed to treat the Force as a sixth sense, tapping into it to enhance all his other senses, but he couldn’t make it work. Master Qui-Gon would be so disappointed if he knew what a failure he already was. Chosen One? Yeah right, he could barely use the Force for telepathy, an ability as basic as they come.
Master Obi-Wan tried anyway, even though Anakin knew he was a lost cause. He was so patient, showing no frustration or anger at Anakin’s lack of progress. Master Yoda and Master Windu always seem so bothered by Anakin’s mere presence and Anakin couldn’t help but see their disapproving looks every time they got an update on his training.
Master Obi-Wan’s patience only made Anakin feel worse. He should be furious with Anakin by now. Anakin had been waiting for the other shoe to drop almost the whole time he’d been on Coruscant. Surely it shouldn’t take too much longer for Master Obi-Wan to see what an embarrassing failure he was and regret ever taking him as his Padawan. Maybe he felt like he owed it to Master Qui-Gon and he was just putting up with Anakin because he made a promise. No one ever really wanted Anakin, anyway; he was just a tool to be passed around to the highest bidder. Master Obi-Wan would soon see it too and Anakin would be carded off to the next unwilling pair of hands. It wasn’t a matter of if, it was a matter of when.
Training Anakin certainly hadn’t been easy, but Obi-Wan also couldn’t imagine doing anything else. Something he did not yet understand seemed to tie him to the young boy. Their Force Bond had formed much faster than his bond with Qui-Gon. He had grown to care very deeply about the boy, perhaps in a way that a Jedi was taught not to, but training Anakin felt like the will of the Force and Obi-Wan was no one to deny that.
Anakin seemed to really be struggling with Force Sense, which didn’t surprise Obi-Wan. He was at such a disadvantage not having been raised as a Jedi and was missing the abilities Younglings must have to pass their Initiate Trials. To account for the delay, Obi-Wan was teaching Anakin Force Control and Force Sense at the same time. Younglings master the former before they become Padawans, but Anakin was learning it all at once. Anakin was exceptionally skilled, considering his age and experience, but this would be too much for any young Padawan. He seemed more adept at Force Control, likely owing to how strong his connection to the Force was, but Force Sense still proved to be quite difficult. Obi-Wan had nothing but sympathy and understanding for Anakin; learning how to use the Force as an innate sense isn’t something that came naturally to him either. He simply wished Anakin wasn’t so hard on himself.
What Obi-Wan knew about Anakin’s past, he learned in Anakin’s cries of terror after a nightmare, and in the thoughts that sometimes screamed so loudly in Anakin’s mind that Obi-Wan swore they were audible. Helping Anakin move past his time on Tatooine had been part of the challenge of having him as a Padawan. There was so much hurt and pain in a boy so small, Obi-Wan didn’t think he’d ever reach the bottom. He tried, though, because Anakin’s smile was brighter and warmer than Tatooine’s twin suns and Anakin deserved, more than most, that happiness.
Obi-Wan had been teaching Anakin Psychometry for the past few days, and it wasn’t going well. Today was no exception. Obi-Wan sensed Anakin’s growing frustration with each passing attempt.
“Master, can you explain it to me again?” Anakin asked, staring intensely at one of Qui-Gon’s old cloaks. Obi-Wan was trying to see if Anakin could sense whose it was by Force alone.
“People, especially other Force-sensitives, leave traces on the objects they touch. By reaching into the Force, you can pick up those traces. See what they saw, feel what they felt, while they used the object,” Obi-Wan said.
“What do you mean by traces, Master? That’s what I don’t understand,” Anakin said, his brow furrowing.
“Like fingerprints on a Holoscreen. These traces echo in the Force, forming the shape of the person who left them. You can perceive these echoes enough that you can track a person, if you must,” Obi-Wan explained.
“That makes sense… I think. Let me try again.”
“Of course, Anakin. That’s why we’re here,” Obi-Wan said gently, noting an increasing agitation in Anakin’s thoughts.
Obi-Wan watched as Anakin centered himself and placed his hand on the cloak. His eyes closed as he focused and reached into the Force to search for Qui-Gon’s presence. It wasn’t long before his brows pulled together and his hand tightened in the fabric with frustration. Obi-Wan expected Anakin to come out of it with a groan and ask to try again like he had been, but Obi-Wan sensed a dramatic shift in Anakin’s thoughts, like a sudden, swirling dust storm.
“I’m sorry, Master. I’m sorry. I’ll get it. Next time, I swear. One more time. I promise I’ll get it, Master. I’m so sorry. I won’t do it again, I won’t, I—”
“Anakin,” Obi-Wan said gently, cutting him off.
Every klaxon in Obi-Wan’s head was going off at once, both from his own worry and the pure fear he was picking up from Anakin. He stepped forward so he could put a hand on Anakin’s shoulder and noticed he was shaking. A hard knot formed in Obi-Wan’s stomach.
“It’s okay, young one. I’m not upset with you,” Obi-Wan said.
“We have been doing this all day and I haven’t improved at all. I’m wasting your time, Master. I’m sorry. I’ll get it. I can do it, Master.”
The ‘master’ came out in the tone that always set Obi-Wan on edge. Obi-Wan was someone else to Anakin right now. Anakin was somewhere else.
Obi-Wan crouched to Anakin’s level and took the hand that wasn’t wrapped in the cloak. He squeezed it gently in the way he knew calmed Anakin.
“Anakin. Look at me. Look at me, little one.”
Slowly, as if dragging them, Anakin brought his eyes up from the floor to meet Obi-Wan’s. Far too much pain and hurt swirled in his eyes, far too much for a ten-year-old.
“Where are you right now?” Obi-Wan began. This was a centering technique Qui-Gon had used on Obi-Wan once, a long time ago.
“The Jedi Temple on Coruscant,” Anakin said in a small voice.
“Who are you with?”
“My M-M,” he stumbled.
“You don’t have to say it right now. Who are you with?”
“You. I’m with you,” he said breathlessly.
“Are you safe?” Obi-Wan gave Anakin’s hand another gentle squeeze and sent calm and safety through their bond.
Anakin sighed a grown man’s weary sigh and closed his eyes. Obi-Wan felt the dust cloud of his thoughts stop swirling.
“I’m safe. I’m with you. I’m safe.”
Obi-Wan paused a few moments to allow the feeling to settle, stroking the top of Anakin’s hand gently with his thumb. He projected as much calm as he could create himself.
“Where were you, young one?” he asked, though he was certain he already knew the answer.
“Tatooine,” Anakin said in a voice Obi-Wan really didn’t like.
“Who was I?” He already knew this answer, too, but it helped Anakin to work through these episodes.
“Watto,” he dropped his eyes to the floor again. “The only reason Watto didn’t sell me or my mother was because I was useful. I made him a lot of money Podracing and I could build things.”
Something inside of Obi-Wan broke then as he came to understand what had happened inside the young boy’s head. He dropped one of Anakin’s hands to cradle the side of Anakin’s head.
“I am not Watto, dear one. I will not send you away just because you are struggling with your training. You do not have to be useful to me, Anakin. I made a promise to you. A promise I intend to keep,” Obi-Wan said with as much sincerity as he could.
“That promise was to Qui-Gon, not me, M-M,” he said, stumbling still.
“You can call me Obi-Wan right now, little one,” he offered. Jedi formality really wasn’t important at present.
“You didn’t promise me, Obi-Wan. There is nothing stopping you from deciding you do not want to train me anymore.”
“I promised you and Qui-Gon, and I will not be breaking either of those promises. I promised you that you will be a Jedi, and a Jedi you will be. I love you, Anakin; I would never send you away.”
Obi-Wan had never said it before, but he realized it was true; he loved Anakin. He heard Master Yoda’s voice somewhere in the back of his head mumbling about attachments—he elected to ignore it.
Anakin brought his eyes back up to Obi-Wan. A tender spark of hope replaced the hurt Obi-Wan saw in them earlier.
“You mean that?” Anakin asked in a voice so terribly small and timid.
“I mean it, young one. I promise.”
Anakin looked as if he were about to respond when he suddenly gasped and looked down at the hand that still gripped the cloak.
“Qui-Gon?” Anakin asked hesitantly and in disbelief.
The knot in Obi-Wan’s stomach unraveled. “What do you feel? How do you know?”
“I focused on you, and then I was able to hear the echoes.”
“I am very proud of you, little one, and for more than just this.”
His Padawan’s face crinkled a bit, and Obi-Wan sensed a bit of disagreement in his thoughts. He’d work on that.
“You’ve definitely had more than enough training for the day. Let’s go,” Obi-Wan said, standing up from his kneeling position.
That twin sun smile graced Anakin’s features, and he grabbed Qui-Gon’s cloak and stuck his arms through the sleeves. Jedi cloaks were big to begin with, but on a boy as small as Anakin, it nearly swallowed him. Obi-Wan thought his heart would burst at the sight.
He gestured to the Temple’s exit with his head and began walking with his Padawan not too far behind.
“I love you too, Master.”