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”Please tell me why I agreed to this?” Kaoru asks for the tenth time as he guards the door like Kojiro is doing something else rather than trying to find a ring in his sisters room, so he can give it to her boyfriend, so he can find a fitting engagement ring for her. Kojiro truly is too kind for his own good.
”Because even though you don’t admit it, prick, you wish for her happiness too”, Kojiro says and Kaoru rolls his eyes even if the big buffoon can’t see it. Kojiro’s sister, Katsumi, was still living with Kojiro’s parents but she and her boyfriend had been planning on moving in together.
”Why couldn’t he do this? After all isn’t he the one getting the ring?” Kaoru mutters, leaning on the doorframe. They’ve been looking for a damned ring for the past two hours.
”Because he’s keeping her distracted. She never leaves her room, you nerd”, Kojiro fires back. Considering he has been turning his sister’s room upside down to find her rings for the past two hours (Kaoru internally groans) the room looks just as clean as it did when they entered it at first.
Kaoru drinks in the sight of watches Kojiro as he’s going through one of Katsumi’s drawers. ”I’ve seen her wear rings! So where are all of them??” Kojiro yells and it startles Kaoru. He averts his eyes back to the hallway with a slight blush covering his cheeks.
Then he hears the front door and he glances at Kojiro in panic. He hears Katsumi’s voice from downstairs: "Don’t worry about it. I’ll be back in a moment! I’ll just grab it real quick.”
Kaoru has no idea what she’s talking about but she’s running up the stairs. ”Kojiro”, Kaoru whisper-hisses. The man looks up to him like a puppy who’s name has just been called. ”Your sister is coming!” Kaoru continues to hiss.
Kojiro’s eyes widen in panic as he shoves the drawer closed as fast as he can without making a sound. They can hear Katsumi in the hallway already so there’s no use running out of the room anymore. They have no reason to be in her room when Kojiro’s bedroom is still in the house. Right next to her room too.
Kojiro grabs Kaoru’s arm and pulls him into the tiny walk-in closet just in time as his sister opens the door of her room. The space is small for them both but they don’t care as they hold their breaths so Katsumi won’t realize they’re where they are. The door is just slightly cracked open and both of the men track her movements through it.
She grabs something from her desk before heading for the door. Then she glances towards the closet and Kaoru leans away from the crack, pulling Kojiro after him as Katsumi walks closer. Kaoru is sure it’s over and they’ve been caught but she only pushes the door closed, leaving the two men in darkness.
They wait in silence until they hear the front door open and close again. Kaoru breaths out a sigh of relief. His pulse has quickened with adrenaline when they were forced to hide but then Kaoru looks up and sees Kojiro right there pressed against him, his pulse quickens for an entirely different reasons.
His hand moves for the door and he pushes the handle. The door doesn’t open.
”What are you waiting for?” Kojiro asks, apparently just as eager to get out of the closet as Kaoru is.
”It doesn’t open”, Kaoru says through gritted teeth and tries to open the door again. It still doesn’t budge.
Kojiro slaps his hand away and tries himself. Nothing happens. He turns to Kaoru and yells: ”You, jerk! You locked the door!?”
Kaoru instantly feels offended and he gasps: ”I locked the door!? You were the one who pulled me in!!” They were two grown men, fighting in a small closet. And the worst thing was, it wasn’t like it wasn’t inevitable that it would happen at some point. Kaoru just wishes it would’ve happened before his twenties.
”Truce!” Kojiro yells lifting his hands in an act of surrender but he barely has any room to do so. ”Kami locked it. Happy?” Kaoru nods but Kojiro probably can’t even see it in the darkness of the closet. ”We should turn on the light”, the green haired man says like he knows exactly what Kaoru wants. ”The switch’s behind you.”
Kaoru turns, his side colliding with Kojiro’s chest. He searches for the switch but can’t find it. Kojiro sighs and leans over him, easily finding it and flicking the light on. The closet lights up instantly and Kaoru blinks at the sudden amount of brightness filling his vision. He flushes as he realizes just how close to Kojiro he is.
He also realizes how small the closet really is. The floor is cramped with boxes and it’s so messy Kaoru understands why Katsumi wanted to close the door. He has slightly more room if he moves against Katsumi’s dresses but the room is still painfully tiny.
Kaoru’s not claustrophobic and neither is Kojiro but his anxiety is spiking up already. They’re trapped in a small closet alone in a house that will be empty for hours if Katsumi doesn’t decide to have another surprise visit. And the worst part is that Kaoru is trapped in the closet with Kojiro, the man he has been harboring feelings for for the past decade.
”Why does the closet even have a lock!?” Kaoru snaps to mask all his other emotions. Mostly just how flustered he feels. Kojiro will pick up his anxiety eventually but Kaoru tries to hide it for now.
Kojiro takes a deep breath next to him as he groans. ”My closet has a lock too. . . It’s so Kiyomi”, Kojiro’s youngest sister, ”couldn’t get into them. She used to mess around in them while we were at school.”
Kaoru nods. It makes perfect sense and he distantly remembers the new click that Kojiro’s closet got when they were much younger and Kaoru used to spend all his free time at Kojiro’s.
”I can kick the door down”, Kojiro offers, rubbing the back of his neck as he takes in the door. It looks sturdy but Kaoru’s sure Kojiro could break it easily.
He still hurriedly stops the man from doing so: ”No! Do not kick down the door, you brute! She would surely notice that.” Kaoru looks around the closet a bit more. He feels like the huge amount of stuff is seconds away from falling on him. Kaoru takes a breath to ground himself. ”There’s probably a hairpin somewhere in here. I could pick the lock.”
Kojiro raises a brow. ”Seems like your teenage rebellion days weren’t for nothing”, he snickers and Kaoru hits his arm. Then Kojiro’s brows furrow in concern. ”Are you okay?”
”Yes”, Kaoru bites out, hoping Kojiro won’t pick up how affected he really is. ”Now find me a hairpin.”
Kojiro looks skeptical for a moment but he turns to open one of the jewel cases at the side. Kaoru is trapped below his arms and his head spins with the smell of Kojiro. He’s always liked how Kojiro smells. The scent has changed over the years but somehow it never fails to make Kaoru feel safe.
”Aren’t you going to help?” Kojiro asks, snapping Kaoru out of his thoughts. ”We’d be faster If we did this together.”
”That looks promising”, Kaoru says, lifting his hand along his body to point at the jewel case in Kojiro’s hands. They are so close to each other and Kaoru is scared Kojiro will hear how fast his heart is beating.
”I guess”, Kojiro says and brings his large hands down. There is no room for them to open the case between them so Kojiro opens it over Kaoru’s shoulder. The pink haired man can’t see in it from the angle so he turns and rises on his tip toes, stretching his neck to have a look inside.
Kojiro chuckles and pulls the box closer to himself and out of Kaoru’s line of sight again. Kaoru glares and he swears he can hear Kojiro mutter something like: ”Cute.” under his breath. Kaoru refuses to believe even for a second Kojiro would ever call him cute or anything close to that. ”What?” Kaoru asks.
”Well, I have good and bad news for you”, Kojiro says, his fingers tipping into the jewel case. I didn’t find a pin but”, he lifts something from the box and shows it to Kaoru with a smile that could compare the sun itself, ”I found a ring! I’ve seen her wear this quite often so it should be the right size. And for the right finger.”
Kaoru still doesn’t understand why they went through all this trouble for a ring when there would’ve been so many more ways to find out Katsumi’s ring size but all the time used for it didn’t matter anymore when Kaoru saw Kojiro smile. It was a reward enough for him.
”Will you now help me find a hairpin?” Kojiro asks, putting the case back where it belongs.
Kaoru raises his brow. ”Carla. What are the chances of Kojiro finding a hairpin in this closet?” ”Seventy-nine percent, master”, Carla answers and Kaoru hums. ”Now what are the chances of finding one if we both look?” ”Seventy-three, master.” Kaoru furrows his brows. ”How are the chances lower that way?” ”Knowing you, master, the chances will decrease if you try to move the belongings of this closet”, Carla states.
Kaoru blushes as Kojiro laughs, low in his chest. ”Your robot is right for once”, Kojiro laughs even more and nearly knocks over a large pile of boxes.
”Her name is Carla!” Kaoru yells, pushing Kojiro. ”And she’s always right!” Kojiro hits the wall from Kaoru’s push and the framed picture of young Katsumi on the wall falls from the impact. Kaoru would’ve laughed if it was on Kojiro’s side and had hit the green haired man but the picture just so unfortunately happens to be over his own head.
Kaoru closes his eyes waiting for the impact, feeling anxiety pulse through his body. The hit never comes. Kaoru slowly cracks his eyes open only to find Kojiro’s arm clutching the frame in his hand. He must’ve moved incredibly fast to catch it. Which means there was zero hesitation to save Kaoru from getting hit by the picture.
He blushes again, not only because Kojiro cares so damn much since Kaoru would’ve just laughed and watched, but also since now he was particularly pressed into Kojiro’s stupidly muscular chest.
”Are you alright?” Kojiro asks on a soft tone making Kaoru’s heart flutter. Kaoru honestly deserves to get hit by a picture frame because he was the one who pushed Kojiro into the wall in the first place. Karma should’ve been a bitch but Kojiro decided to be a kind idiot. Like he always is.
”Yes”, Kaoru says and he clears his thoat when he sounds all breathless. He places his hand on Kojiro’s chest and pushes the man away from his face.
Kojiro places the frame back where it belongs, caging Kaoru beneath his arms again, like he has absolutely no idea what it’s doing to the calligrapher. Kaoru’s knees wobble and he knows he’ll be thinking about this later in the safety of his bedroom once he gets home. If he gets home, his anxiety doesn't fail to remind him of that.
”Let’s look for that hairpin now”, Kaoru says but he only watches Kojiro do all the work. The man knows his sister better anyway which is most likely the real reason why his chances of finding a bobby pin are higher.
Kojiro pulls out a box and opens the lid. He smiles like a fool again. ”What is it?” Kaoru asks, trying to lean over, which he doesn’t have to do much since they are still right next to each other.
He places his hand on Kojiro’s shoulder to ground himself. The man doesn’t seem affected at all, which isn’t unnatural considering how oblivious he is for Kaoru’s feelings and how Kaoru has absolutely no chances with him.
”It’s the kit my sisters used to style your hair", Kojiro says and Kaoru rolls his eyes. He only let them do it because that meant Kojiro would show them how to do it first, being the older one for the two youngest and having had done their hair for quite the while.
Even though Kaoru would never admit it, he misses Kojiro doing silly hairstyles with his hair. Usually he hates when people touch it but Kojiro had always been so gentle.
He always treats Kaoru like he’s something precious which makes loving him so much more painful.
Kojiro pulls out a bobby pin. ”Found one!” He exclaims and hands two of them to Kaoru before putting the box back on its place like he and Kaoru never were in the closet.
Kaoru crouches down in front of the door, which leaves him pressed against Kojiros leg. His head is spinning for a reason he doesn’t quite know himself so he barely even notices the heat Kojiro’s body is emitting to his. The room has gotten a lot warmer since they entered it in the first place.
Kaoru starts to pick the lock the way he used to when his parents found out he had been sneaking out from his window and they decided to put a lock on it. It was really amusing to see Kojiro climb up the wall only so Kaoru could tell him the window had a lock on it. Soon after Kaoru decided to learn how to pick it. As if something like that could keep him away from Kojiro.
The pin falls on the floor and Kaoru curses. He moves to pick it but as he's kneeling on the floor, he finds himself unable to move. Kaoru doesn’t even realize how much harder he’s breathing and how his vision has blacked out from the sides when Kojiro crouches on the floor next to him.
There really isn’t any room for the gorilla of a man to do so and he knocks over the pile of boxes while doing so. Kaoru doesn’t hear the sound over how much blood is rushing though his ears and Kojiro just ignores it.
Kojiro cups Kaoru’s face with his big calloused hands. ”—ru. Kaoru!” Kaoru’s eyes fly to Kojiro’s and he hates how helpless he suddenly feels. ”Breathe, Kaoru”, Kojiro says concern imprinted into his features. Kojiro speaks softly as he continues to help Kaoru steady his breathing he lost control over without even noticing.
Kaoru can’t think. The only thing he can hear is Kojiro’s voice and he never wants to stop hearing it. His voice has always been pleasant for Kaoru’s ears and it’s so constant in his life it can’t but help him calm down. Kaoru thinks it’s better that he can’t think, over how his head was spiraling few moments ago.
”Can you name five things you can see?” Kojiro asks softly, worry drenching his voice. Kaoru can’t. He can only see Kojiro and his beautiful ruby eyes that are looking him with gentleness.
”I-” Kaoru forces out of his throat but chokes on the word. He clutches Kojiro’s ugly orange-white striped shirt and leans forward as he feels his balance give out. He can breath again but his head is still spinning. Not with thoughts gladly, but Kaoru still doesn’t like the feeling.
Kojiro pulls him into his big warm embrace, pressing Kaoru close against his body. Kaoru can hear him breathing loudly and he knows Kojiro is doing so in purpose so Kaoru can match his own breathing to it, which he does.
Kaoru clutches the ugly shirt ever harder. He’s never been fond of how it looks but it’s Kojiro’s favorite. Now the shirt feels assuring. Kaoru knows it belongs to Kojiro, he knows the one embracing him is Kojiro. Kojiro, Kaoru wants to say but he can’t. He clutches the shirt harder until his knuckles turn white.
Slowly the room fills his vision again and the blackness disappears. Kojiro’s still rubbing soft circles on his back as Kaoru starts to feel better. He doesn’t move or push Kojiro away because he doesn’t want to. He feels safe and for a moment he manages to forget they were locked in a closet.
”I should’ve kicked down the door”, Kojiro states, as he too, hears that Kaoru’s feeling better. Kaoru huffs out a laugh but it still feels forced.
His mind had told him it was up to him and only him to get them out or they’d be trapped in the damned closet forever. The pressure was too much and Kaoru couldn’t handle it. Now he feels stupid about it because Kojiro could still easily kick the door down and they both still have their phones, Kaoru has Carla, they could call for help any moment.
Kaoru leans back as he feels like he has lingered for as long as he’s allowed to. Kojiro’s hands move from his back to his waist, still holding him steadily. ”Can you now name me five things you can see?” Kojiro asks again.
Kaoru takes a deep breath, nodding. ”I can see Katsumi’s dresses, the amount of boxes you knocked over, gorilla, a plush pink carpet, the jewel case, and you.” Kojiro smiles and Kaoru feels better.
”Now tell me four things you can touch—”
”No need. . . I’m fine. I promise”, Kaoru has gone through that list with Kojiro more than once. Name five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell and one thing you can taste. They rarely need to go all the way to the fifth one but sometimes when Kaoru’s having a really bad anxiety attack even going through the whole list multiple times doesn’t help.
Kojiro's presence always helps. He will hold Kaoru close until Kaoru's head is clear enough to push him away.
Kaoru picks up the bobby pin he dropped and moves back to the door, Kojiro’s concerned gaze over him. It takes five minutes for Kaoru to open the lock. He used to be really fast at the art but since there hasn’t been a need for picking a lock for nearly ten years he’s gotten a bit rusty.
As soon as the door opens Kaoru rushes out of Katsumi’s room and into the hallway, breathing in the air that doesn’t fell like it’s running out or suffocating him anymore. Kaoru gasps for breath and realizes just how badly he got it in the closet.
Kojiro walks out after him, looking still slightly concerned. Kaoru hates how that look always lingers. He hates when Kojiro’s worried over him and he feels like Kojiro’s always worrying over him.
Worrying if he’s eaten, if he’s slept, if he’s okay, if he’s—
Kaoru doesn’t even realize his breathing has quickened again until Kojiro grabs his wrist bringing him back to reality. The look of concern is there again or it never left in the first place, but it’s stronger than before. Kaoru still grounds his spiraling head to Kojiro’s ruby eyes. Kaoru could spend hours just looking at Kojiro and finding every single freckle on his skin or just staring into his beautiful ruby eyes.
Kaoru doesn’t go to panic this time, he’s just staring at Kojiro and matching their breathing again. ”Hey”, Kojiro says softly and brings his hand on Kaoru’s cheek. The calligrapher leans into the touch without thinking about it. ”It’s alright. We’re out now.”
Kaoru nearly laughs at how Kojiro can instantly tell what the reason of his anxiety was without even needing to ask. ”Kojiro”, Kaoru says and he isn’t sure if he sounds breathless, whiny, or like he’s about to cry.
Kojiro certainly hears something because his hand drops from Kaoru’s cheek and he moves forward, most likely to hug Kaoru, but the pink haired man does something stupid.
Kaoru wraps his arms around Kojiro’s neck and kisses him.
The chef freezes and Kaoru pulls away sooner than he wants to. Kojiro wasn’t kissing him back and Kaoru wouldn’t force him. He loves Kojiro. Has always loved Kojiro. It usually doesn’t get too much to bear, but Kaoru couldn’t hold it back.
Not when Kojiro was looking at him like he was the most valuable thing in the world and holding him so, oh so gently. Always concerned, always caring. Kaoru was doomed to fall in love with the man the moment they met, because only a fool wouldn’t love Kojiro Nanjo.
Kaoru tries to pull back in embarrassment but Kojiro doesn’t allow him to do so. His hand wraps around Kaoru’s waist and his other hand climbs up to hold Kaoru’s chin, tilting his head up to make Kaoru look back at him. Kaoru desperately wants to stare at the ground because he’s scared what he’ll find on Kojiro’s face.
He hesitantly looks into the familiar ruby eyes and Kojiro is still looking at him softly, just a hint of something akin sadness mixed in. ”Are you alright?” Kojiro asks first like the kiss never happened. Kaoru’s stomach sinks but he nods.
Kojiro worries his lip before he pulls Kaoru closer. ”Did you mean it?” There’s a beat of silence. Kaoru doesn’t dare to think Kojiro’s asking about the kiss and make a fool of himself when the man actually means something else. ”The kiss I mean. Did you mean it Kaoru?”
”Yes”, he blurts out and sucks in a sharp breath right after. He’s wanted to kiss Kojiro for so long. The man’s eyes widen and Kaoru braces himself for a rejection.
”Fuck, Kaoru”, Kojiro starts and Kaoru knows it’s coming. The way he’ll let Kaoru down gently. Tell him how they’re better off as friends and that he could never see Kaoru as something more—
Kojiro kisses him.
Slow and deep, pressing their bodies even closer together.
For a moment Kaoru forgets he’s supposed to do something. Wrapping his arms around Kojiro’s neck he deepens the kiss. It turns from gentle to more heated in seconds. Kojiro’s tongue brushes into his mouth and Kaoru moans, forgetting to be embarrassed that they’re really having their first kiss in Kojiro’s childhood home.
Then Kojiro pulls away and Kaoru whines, chasing the kiss. Kojiro chuckles but a next kiss never comes. Kaoru slowly opens his golden eyes looking up to Kojiro. It’s funny. Lats time they were in this house, in the same hallway, they were the same height.
”Kaoru”, Kojiro breathes out. ”I can’t believe—”
”Me neither. Now kiss me again.” Kaoru clutches Kojiro’s collar, trying to crush their lips back together.
”Someone’s eager”, Kojiro laughs and kisses Kaoru’s cheek but that’s all he gets. ”It’s just. . . you like me?” Kojiro sounds so very small asking it and Kaoru doesn’t like that. He loves the confident Kojiro, even if he likes this one just as much.
”Kojiro”, Kaoru starts, ”do you really think I’d be kissing you if I didn’t like you?” He cocks his head to the side like the the green haired idiot is stupid.
”No. I don’t suppose so”, Kojiro says and his laugh is so light it sounds like a heavy weight has dropped from his heart. Kaoru feels the exact same as he laughs easily along Kojiro.
”But. . .” Kaoru hesitates and Kojiro waits, kissing his temple gently. ”But, you like me too?”
Kojiro smiles like a fool. ”Do you think I’d be kissing you if I didn’t like you?” Kojiro parrots and Kaoru slaps his chest. Kojiro’s smile turns into a smaller one, but it’s still just as happy as his blinding grin. ”I’ve known you since forever, Kaoru. I can’t imagine my life without you.”
Kojiro takes a deep breath and Kaoru clings to him, listening. ”Every time I see you with someone else I think that that’s it. You’re going to fall in love with them and forget me. If you have someone else you wouldn’t need me to worry over you, wouldn’t you?” He squeezes Kaoru’s waist harder while sounding sad, and Kaoru hates that.
He quickly kisses Kojiro and smiles into it as he realizes just how much Kojiro wants to worry over him. He wants to worry over him so much he gets jealous thinking how someone else could potentially be the one worrying over him.
”Kojiro”, Kaoru starts, finding Kojiro’s hand that fell from his cheek and clenched into a fist on his side to hold it. He laces their fingers together. ”You’re an idiot. I’ve known you over two decades, I won’t forget you so easily. And besides. . . I wouldn’t want anyone else worrying over me.”
Kojiro smiles at that, squeezing their joined hands. ”I love you”, he says and it startles Kaoru. He has loved Kojiro for so long in secret and the thought that Kojiro could’ve loved him back was so foreign it never even crossed his mind.
Kaoru smiles too, finding it easier than ever before. ”I love you too”, he says before kissing Kojiro again. Again. And again.