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Something was wrong with Punz.
What, he wasn’t sure. Just…something. Everything lately had felt…wrong. It wasn’t something physical. It was something Punz…didn’t know how to describe. Not exactly. Whatever it was, it was too abstract for him to explain. More importantly, it was too abstract for him to fix.
And Punz was the person who fixed things in the house. Messed up skateboard? Punz fixed it. Something wrong with the fridge? Punz again. The car? Punz’s job. Anything and everything that needed to be fixed, that was Punz’s job. It wasn’t that everyone was trying to force him to do things. Punz was the handy one and he volunteered to fix things. It was just what he did.
But this wasn’t something he could fix. And as he walked along the sidewalk, kicking a pebble ahead of him and holding onto the straps of his backpack, Punz took a slow breath. Something in his chest just…hurt. And he wasn’t sure why, either. He wasn’t sure how to fix it. So he just kept walking towards their house, ignored the odd feeling as best as he could.
Once he got to the house, he opened the door and slowly slipped inside. He could already smell pizza rolls baking in the oven. Taking a breath, he paused and then made his way to his room. Dropped his backpack down on the carpet, looked around. Once again, as usual, Tubbo had made something and left it in a little gift bag. Smiling, Punz made his way over and then pulled it out. It was a tiny little clay bee, painted with delicate glazes and fired perfectly. Ever since Tubbo had discovered that they could use the local college’s kiln to fire their creations, they had been using it. And Punz had loved seeing Tubbo’s creations begin to decorate the shelves. From the look on Tubbo’s face every time he saw one of the new clay figures somewhere in the house. And Punz, just like Puffy and Dream and Purpled, loved seeing that brightening. Especially if it was because Tubbo had been having a hard day.
Setting the bee back down as carefully as possible, Punz made his way into the kitchen and peered inside. Dream was there, leaning against the counter and presumably texting his boyfriend. Looking up, he smiled. “Hey, Punz. How you doing?”
Swallowing, Punz shrugged and went to the dining room table and dropped down and dumped his head into his arms. “Meh.” Immediately, he heard footsteps across the wood planks. The chair behind him moved back. Then Dream settled beside him, and a hand settled on his shoulder. Lifting his head, he turned to look at Dream. His brother smiled softly.
“Do you want to talk about it?”” Punz shrugged. “Okay. Do you want something to eat?”
“I don’t know.” Sniffing, Punz looked ahead at the wall, resting his chin on his crossed arms. “I don’t want you to be mad.”
“Why would I be mad?” Dream asked, tipping his head to the side. Reaching over, he rubbed Punz’s arm. “Punz. Why do you think I would be mad?”
Sniffing again, eyes and cheeks and nose burning, Punz replied, “I think there’s something wrong with me.” There was a pause. Silence fell over them. Then, the silence shattered with the oven beeping. Without speaking, Dream stood up and walked over. Stomach dropping, Punz raised his head and looked up at him. Dream pulled the pizza rolls out. Then, he made his way over and sat down by Punz again. “Dream?”
“Who told you there was something wrong with you?” Dream asked, looking at him with a genuine expression. Swallowing, Punz looked up at him. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Punz. Who told you that?”
Resting his chin on his palm, Punz stared out to the living room. “No one told me that. I figured it out myself. Something’s wrong with me and I don’t know what.” Sniffing, he rubbed at his nose. “I’m sorry.”
“What do you mean?” Dream asked, setting his hands in his lap and leaning closer to Punz. Looking over, Punz met his gaze and then looked down at the place mats. Fiddled with the corner of one of them. “Punz? Why are you apologizing?”
“There’s something wrong with me. I don’t know what, though. There’s just…something wrong with me.” He replied, sniffing again.
“Like…how?”
“I don’t fit my own skin.” Punz replied, rubbing at his nose. “And I don’t know why.” Reaching over, Dream touched his hand and Punz looked over to him. “I’m sorry.”
“Why don’t we watch a movie or something, huh?” Punz nodded, looked back at the table. Dream pulled him off. “We’ll figure this out, Punz.”
“Promise?” Punz whispered, looking up at him and blinking. Holding his gaze, Dream smiled at him.
“Promise.”
+++
When they realized what happened, Punz literally kicked Dream’s door in and looked at him.
“Dream.” Punz whispered. Looking at them, Dream sat up, setting his book aside after marking his page. Punz turned their phone around. Showed the screen and the little flag sitting on the screen. “I thought it out. There’s nothing wrong with me.” Dream gestured for him to come over. Quickly, Punz went to him. Dream locked his fingers in Punz’s white hoodie and then yanked them down beside him. Grunting, they sprawled out on Dream’s bed. Turned and met his gaze. “I’m a they.”
“You’re a they.” Dream confirmed. Laughing, Punz grabbed onto him. Pulled their brother into a hug. Buried their face into Dream’s neck and shoulder. Taking a breath, they exhaled for real for the first time in what felt like forever.
“Thank you.” They whispered into his neck. “So much.” Dream nodded. One of his hands found Punz’s back. Started rubbing between their shoulders. Closing their eyes, Punz clung tighter to their brother. Their brother. He was their brother, they were his sibling. That was them, Punz was themself and that was all they needed to be. They were fine that way.
“Hey,” Dream began after a moment. Blinking, Punz looked up at him. Gentle fingers found their way through Punz’s hair, sort of like how their mother used to. Leaning in, Dream kissed his sibling’s forehead. Whispered, “Why don’t you and I take a nap? And then we can make some agender cupcakes? Does that sound nice? Little, uh, brother and sibling bonding time?” Nodding, Punz felt their eyes burning. Reaching up, they rubbed at their eyes. Laughed softly. “You’re so emotional. I get that. Copcakes and pizza rolls, I’ve decided.”
“Copcakes?” Punz asked softly.
“Uh—cupcakes.” Poking Punz in the ribs, Dream scolded, “Leave me alone. Let me mess up with my speaking sometimes.”
“Never.” Punz replied. Knocking their head against Dream’s sternum, they snorted. “My brother is an idiot. He can do anything in Minecraft except for speak.”
“I don’t care if you’re agender I will suplex you off the bed.”
“You wouldn’t.”
Dream did. Lying on their back, arms spread out across beanbags carefully spread about Dream’s bed (this wasn’t the first suplex off the bed and it was hardly the last), Punz laughed. Let their head rest against the soft, denim blue velvet of the beanbag beneath them. Closing their eyes, they laughed again. “You owe me cupcakes.” Dream wheezed.
There was nothing wrong with Punz.
There never was, really.