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"Are you sure about this??" Qi Rong muttered, his hands buried deep in the back of Lang Qian Qiu's godly robes, leaning just far enough around his lover to peek one sharp green eye out from Qian Qiu's broad back. "I'm not sure about this."
"I'm very sure." Qian Qiu replied, with remarkable patience for answering the same question for the fifth time. He made to pull Qi Rong out from behind himself and Qi Rong ducked back farther out of reach.
"What if he eats me?" He babbled, the hold on his tongue completely gone, "What if he leaves Guzi an orphan? What if I taste good? What if he bites off one hand and I have to live the rest of my life with only one hand to get off with??"
Martial god of the east, General Tai Hua started laughing, his flushed cheeks bright against his tan skin. "A-Jing, I swear to Jun Wu, Tiger won't eat you!!"
Qi Rong peeked around Qian Qiu's other side and huffed at the furry menace his lover had brought to the door.
The Tiger shifted where he layed in the sunlight on the porch of the Puqi shrine, blinking big amber eyes at the ghost, and Qi Rong slid back behind Qian Qiu again.
"No." He mumbled, pushing his forehead up against Qian Qiu's muscular back. "No, no, no. Can't let Guzi become an orphan again."
Lang Qian Qiu's hand reached back and caught his elbow, tugging him around to the martial god's front. "A-Jing. Trust me."
Qi Rong drew a deep breath and glanced up at his lover's reassuring smile, and wiggled a little. "I hate this." He declared, and slowly held out his hand toward the martial god's pet.
The big cat's ear flicked as it canted it's head toward Qi Rong, and then it opened it mouth to yawn and Qi Rong let out a squeak he would deny making later and climbed up Lang Qian Qiu like a tree, clinging to the martial god's broad shoulders and wailing.
"HE'S GONNA EAT MEEEEE!!!"
Qian Qiu had apparently gone through his store of patience, and started wrestling with the ghost wrapped around his head. "HE IS NOT GONNA EAT YOU, QI RONG, HE DOESN'T EAT PEOPLE!!"
Qi Rong clung, burrowing into Qian Qiu's back like a burr, "WELL DON'T TELL ME THAT, TELL HIM!!" He wailed as Lang Qian Qiu started twisting and squirming to dislodge him.
"GET OFF ME YOU GREEN FUCKER!!" Qian Qiu's voice was rising nearly as high as Qi Rong's, his sword propped in the corner starting to rattle. "GET OFF, GET OFF!!"
"NOOOOOOOO!!!" Qi Rong squealed, digging in against the wild bucking, "I REFUSE TO END MY LIFE AT THE MAW OF YOUR UNTAMED BEAST!!"
"FOR THE LAST TIME!!" General Tai Hua bellowed, "TIGER DOES NOT EAT PEOPLE!!"
"WELL THEN HE'S DENYING HIS FUNDAMENTAL EXISTENCE AND I TRUST HIM EVEN LESS!!" Qi Rong screeched back.
"WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!?!" Tai Hua caught one flailing ankle and heaved, and Qi Rong let out an undignified howl as he was wrenched free from the martial god's broad back with a hiss of tearing fabric, and flung down on the dirt floor of his cousin's shrine.
Qian Qiu caged him in with both arms a moment later, his quan and sacred ribbon askew. "YOU ARE SUCH AN ASS, YOU KNOW THAT?" He panted, his voice still raised.
Qi Rong hissed and writhed under him, bare feet kicking in the dirt between Qian Qiu's knees, "LET ME UP YOU BARBARIAN!" He snarled.
"No." Lang Qian Qiu pouted almost petualntly and dropped his full weight on the little calamity.
Qi Rong choked on his borrowed breath, dry heaving as he tried to fill his lungs under Tai Hua's weight. "Get off me!!" He wiggled his feet more and felt Lang Qian Qiu snickering on top of him.
And then something warm and rough licked his foot and he shrieked, freeing himself from Qian Qiu's hold and crashing into the corner of the dilapidated shrine with a wail.
He spun, back to the wall, and stared in wide eyed horror as the big cat plodded toward him daintily, big paws nearly the size of Qi Rong's head.
"Q...Qiu Qiu..." His breath came out in a whisper, "Qiu Qiu help me..."
Qian Qiu climbed to his feet and started dusting himself off, ignoring the plees from his lover.
Qi Rong pressed himself back against the wall, flattening himself and scrambling for purchase on the rough bamboo slats as the big cat stopped just shy of him. He froze, momentarily relieved until Tiger plopped himself down right there and started to lick one massive paw.
"Qui Qui..." Qi Rong gulped, his eyes nearly the size of a fist, "H..Help me...??"
Lang Qian Qiu raised one of his split brows and just crossed his arms. "You're fine."
"Dad!! Dad!! Are you in trouble!!"
Both men jumped, glancing toward the doorway where a disheveled little head of dark hair had appeared. Guzi eyed Qian Qiu warily, his face smudged with mud from playing in the yard, and demanded. "Is Other Dad being mean to you, Dad??"
"Yes!" Qi Rong hissed between clenched teeth, shooting a glare at the god. "He's trying to make his beast eat me!!"
Guzi's little mouth flapped open like a fish, staring with such exaggerated horror at Qian Qiu the god nearly believed he was actually guilty of the accusation.
"How dare you be mean to Dad, Other Dad!!" Guzi's little face screwed up into a glower and he kicked out at Qian Qiu's shin.
The martial god blinked at him, shocked. Guzi was still underweight and scrawny, and the kick felt more like a soft bump, but the sheer audancy of it shocked him.
"No, wait, hold on a sec!" He uncrossed his arms sharply and glared from Qi Rong to his little boy as Guzi raised his hands up in a boxing style Qian Qiu himself had taught him. "I am not trying to hurt your dad!"
Guzi just glared at him over his tiny fists and Lang Qian Qiu huffed, gesturing widely. "Guzi, I literally brought your dad courting presents, how am I trying to kill him?"
"Wait, that's what those were??" Qi Rong's face slackened in the corner, his body going a little limp along with it. "I thought.... you're actually courting me??" His voice pitched up in an incredulous question at the end and Lang Qian Qiu sighed and snapped his fingers at Tiger.
The big cat yawned and stood up, strolling over to rub its head against Qian Qiu's leg.
Qi Rong cautiously detached himself from the wall as Lang Qian Qiu lowered his voice. "I thought...after what I said before...and, you know? The sex? It was kinda clear we were...." He mumbled, rubbing his hands into Tiger's thick fur. "Courting."
Qi Rong just stood there for a minute, slowly processing as he blinked like a small lost child.
Lang Qian Qiu half expected something violent to explode out of the ghost's little body in the end, but the Calamity just blinked slowly and whispered. "Ok..." with his face toward the floor.
Lang Qian Qiu's brow furrowed, watching the way Qi Rong hugged himself, and took a step toward his ghost king. "A-Jing?" He ventured slowly, taking another step when Qi Rong didn't shy away. "I'm serious...about this, about.. Us."
Qi Rong peeked up at him from under his long lashes, green eyes vulnerable in the way that made Qian Qiu want to wrap him up against his own chest and hold him until the world became a better place.
"I just... never thought about it." He mumbled slowly, scuffing at the floor with his worn shoes. "Didn't think I ... thought the crown prince of Yong'an had more taste."
Lang Qian Qiu reached out slowly and put both hands on the ghost's shoulders. "Everyone thinks that." He confessed quitely, his voice very soft between them, letting his own walls fall just a little. "But the truth is I like what I like. Sometimes it doesn't make sense to people but I still like it."
Qi Rong's eyes darted up to his face again. "But you.... you're a god. Don't tell me you want to marry me just cuz we fucked a few times, A-Qiu."
"A lot. We fuck a lot." Lang Qian Qiu corrected, his face flushing red.
"Yes." Guzi agreed stoically from the other side of the little shrine and the couple turned to him sharply.
The little boy was watching them, standing under Tiger's nose, who had placed his chin firmly on top of the child's unruly hair.
"GUZI!! GET AWAY FROM THAT BEAST!!" Qi Rong shrieked, jumping out of Qian Qiu's arms to race over and snatch him out from the maw of the big cat, "IT'S NOT SAFE!!"
General Tai Hua groaned aloud, rolling his eyes as he moved to join them, "I told you, Tiger does not eat people!"
"How do you know that for sure??" Qi Rong demanded, loosing one arm from around Guzi's waist to plant it on his hip and glare at the martial god. "Did he tell you??"
Guzi started giggling, wiggling in Qi Rong's grasp, and Qi Rong glanced back at his son to find the little boy's fists buried in Tiger's fur as the big cat stared up at him.
He froze, just staring back with wide eyes. "Qiu... Qiu..."
Qian Qiu sighed, stepping up to slide an arm around Qi Rong's waist and put his big hand over the calamity's smaller hand. "Do you trust me?" He asked again, tucking his chin next to Qi Rong's ear. His breath warmed the ghost's pale skin and Qi Rong swallowed.
"Don't ask fucking stupid questions, Qiu Qiu." He tried to huff but the bluster fell short as his voice wavered.
Lang Qian Qiu turned Qi Rong's plam over in his own, gingerly easing it away from his hip, and squeezed almost tenderly before he placed the ghost's hand on Tiger's head. "Just...breathe." He whispered in Qi Rong's ear, and the little calamity's breath rattled in his throat.
"But..." He stammered, fingers flexing slowly in the soft fur, "He...he'll...eat me...??"
"Why would you think that??" Qian Qiu's fingers were still wrapped over Qi Rong's, gently urging him to pet the soft cat's head.
Qi Rong swallowed, his face twitching, and slowly let his fingers tangle into Tiger's fur. ".....when I... was little..." He started, and Lang Qian Qiu instinctively tightened his grip around Qi Rong's waist protectively.
"My... old man." Qi Rong spat the words as his eyes flashed. "He told me he'd tie me out in the royal hunting grounds for the tigers to eat if I didn't stop crying ... whenever he hit me."
Lang Qian Qiu grip around his waist got even firmer, the martial god pulling him flush against his thick chest. "If your father were still alive, I would feed him to Tiger." He muttered into Qi Rong's neck, fangs snowing in his snarl. "No one deserves to be treated like you were."
Qi Rong coughed a rough laugh, his long fangs showing in a broken grin. "Don't bother. He was the first thing I took care of as a ghost."
Guzi tugged on Qi Rong's collar and the ghost-god couple started, realizing the little boy had been watching them the whole time. His little forehead was furrowed in a frown.
"Dad? Was your dad mean to you too?" He inquired slowly, and Qi Rong's mouth opened and no sounds came out.
"Yeah." Lang Qian Qiu stepped in, leaning his forehead against the ghost's green hair. "Your dad had a hard childhood, Guzi, but don't worry. Just like he takes care of you now, I'm going to make sure no one is ever ever mean to either of you again."
Guzi's serious little eyes turned up to face Lang Qian Qiu and he narrowed them suspiciously. He seemed to consider the words for a long moment, then nodded slowly. "If you don't, Butterfly-Gege will come after you."
Qi Rong snorted as Lang Qian Qiu flushed pink and stammered. "Ah! Guzi! I - that's not fair! How am I - Guzi!!"
Qi Rong started laughing harder as Guzi crossed his arms and gave General Tai Hua of the East a stink eye.
"God, I love this little fucker." He announced, nuzzling his chin into Guzi's hair. The little boy broke into a broad smile and wrapped his arms around Qi Rong's neck, simultaneously giving Qian Qiu a sharp little look.
"I need more practice with children." Lang Qian Qiu grumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Yeah, clearly. Get on the ball, A-Qiu! You gotta at least bribe him with toys or candies!" Qi Rong rolled his eyes, smirking. "What kind of step-dad are you if you can't even offer sweets?"
Lang Qian Qiu rolled his eyes ans glanced away, "Fucker." He muttered under his breath and Guzi made a grumbly noise.
"Scrap Gege says that's a bad word." The child admonished, and Lang Qian Qiu coughed, his cheeks flushing brighter.
"I'll drop a donation in his box and we'll never talk about it again." He mumbled, and Qi Rong started laughing again.
Lang Qian Qiu gazed at him for a minute or two, a half smile on his lips and then squeezed his hand again. "Look who hasn't eaten you yet." He grinned.
Qi Rong ignored Tiger, who was licking their joint hands, and waved his other hand, letting Guzi hang unsupported from his collar for a second. "Ah, I was just joking about the whole being scared thing! I'm not scared of anything!"
Lang Qian Qiu snorted in turn and just shook his head as he leaned in for a kiss over Guzi's wild mop of hair.