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Klaus is pretty sure it’s the same carpet he died on. This is the curse of this damn thing, or this is a curse of their damn family — well if he’s still allowed to use this word. Just bleeding, screaming remains of what once was the Umbrella Academy.
They’ve just lost another one. Here’s Luther, lying on the floor in the White Buffalo Suite with a deep gash across his chest, in a pool of blood. This picture looks almost ritualistic. Klaus wants to scream, but his throat is too raw to even produce a sob; he thuds on his knees next to his brother’s body.
“Luther,” he whispers. “Come on, big guy.”
Klaus looks around, waiting for the ghost to pop up. His head’s still spinning after the blow Reginald tried to bash his skull with. And he succeeded, Klaus can tell. Damn that vintage hole puncher. Klaus can’t see straight and there’s blood trickling down his busted temple; along with his brain tissue, probably. It might take a while to heal the wound since he has to be focused on other aspects of his newfound powers.
Focus, Klaus. You need to talk to him. You need to tell the others.
“I’m sorry,” he says. He repeats, over and over again, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry until he chokes on tears. Good job. Always the crying one.
In a span of a few days, death has become Klaus’ lover, a partner who never ghosts him. Jokes aside, he feels like one of the ghosts now. HELLO, GOODBYE, he’s stuck in the Void mentally and physically. He can call it home. It’s calling for him.
He learned about the Void when one of the buses flattened him out like a gingerbread man and his mind snapped out of existence; there was no world around him, not even the black and white field he used to wake up on. There was nothing. And he could create his own everything. And then, his soul slammed back into his mangled body along with pain, and Reginald’s distant voice,
“Forty-three seconds! You’re making progress, young man!”
Luther’s been dead for more than forty-three seconds; the blood around him has started to congeal.
“I couldn’t save you, brother.”
It all just clicks into a full picture like a lock he had to pick to get in there. Reginald being nice. Reginald using him as a portal to get closer to his siblings, and —
“My god, I’m so stupid,” Klaus laughs, throwing his head back. “Old bastard used me, made me his whore, like a… like a whore.”
He almost betrayed his family, trying far too hard to build a new one. He understands Luther now, better than ever, but it’s already too late. Klaus pats Luther’s sliced-open chest, almost reassuringly. Rest in peace, rest in peace, he wants to say, even though he knows that peace itself makes no sense.
“See you in Heaven when I get my one-way gold ticket.”
The interior of the White Buffalo Suite always looked familiar — even before Stan shot him in the chest with a speargun, Klaus knew it was going to happen. It’s one of the unexplained things his power can do — almost like a warning — but it never works right. The head of a bull on the wall is about to laugh at him* — Klaus sees blood on one of the horns, blinks away the tears, and the vision disappears.
“It was him! Reginald did this to you!”
He should have known. He should have known.
Klaus realizes it now, and it hits him all at once — anger, grief, pain. Both physical and emotional. And it runs through his body like sparkling streams of energy, filling his Ouija board tattoos with a soft glow. He doesn’t know what exactly he’s doing, but he can control it. He can send his energy down the black hole of the wound on Luther’s chest. Death is always a hungry beast, sucking Klaus’ life out of him again and again.
Now, he’s trading his life for Luther’s, making a graveyard deal.
It’s exhausting, and Klaus feels dead indeed. He’s shaking, and the sides of the wound shrink and stick together under Luther’s torn shirt. Klaus gasps, feeling a twin flame of pain cracking his rib cage. He takes it, he takes Luther’s death.
When Klaus’ breath gets all shallow and shuddering, he sees people flooding the room. Alive, all of them are alive; Sloane kneels next to Klaus and Luther, who suddenly takes a big gulp of air. Klaus lets out wet laughter that tastes of iron and collapses on the red-stained carpet.
“You’re alive! You’re alive!”
“He pretty much is,” Klaus smiles, although his insides have turned into a hot mush and his body’s barely holding it.
“It’s Reginald,” Five says, checking his wristwatch. “We have about one minute to haul your asses out of here before this room is blitzed.”
Allison looks around, confused.
“What the hell happened here?”
“Whose blood is this?” Viktor asks.
“Klaus? You alright, bro?”
Klaus is cold, having given the last drop of his energy to Luther. He’s unharmed now, blinking dazedly at his wife. Still weird, Klaus thinks. Why the hell do they keep falling in love with each other? I will never call Reggie “Dad” ever again.
Luther sees no problem here.
“One second you’re a family again, and then you’re being impaled with a blade tentacle. Dad doesn’t know how hugs work,” he says, nearly making Klaus puke.
Or well, maybe it’s a full-body trauma that’s wrapping him from head to toes. He should be dead already, and he is dead — the worms crawl in, the worms crawl out** — but he didn’t say his last GOODBYE. His mission is not finished yet.
He knows how to avoid sprinkling the bull’s horn with his blood.
“Reginald killed you with a blade tentacle? Can’t say I couldn’t expect this from the old man,” Five says, somewhat approvingly.
“He’s an alien,” Klaus wheezes out.
“Smart move,” Five doesn’t seem to notice Klaus’ remark. “He killed one of us to bring all of us together in a hotel suite that is about to get destroyed by the paradox.”
“We should find Ben and Lila and get out of here,” Diego fumbles with one of his knives when the hallway behind his back fills with footsteps.
“Klaus, get up. Klaus?” his cheeks are numb after being slapped repeatedly. “Come on, wake up, you idiot.”
Five. Klaus always knew that Five’s brotherly love was its own mystery.
Someone’s sweaty fingers squeeze his wrist.
“No heartbeat. How the hell he’s still alive?”
And Klaus simply says,
“I’m not.”
His time has come; the corners of the room start to evaporate — a fancy bed, pillows, the side of the window. The hem of the carpet turns into dust, but Klaus can’t move.
Allison grabs his arm, trying to drag him away from the Kugelblitz.
“Get! Up! Get up, or I’ll rumor your ass!”
“Won’t work on me, sis. Not now, not now.”
He knows how to avoid throwing himself on the bull’s horn. He doesn’t know how to avoid death.
So when he sees Reginald, he laughs again.
“Thought you got rid of me, old bitch? Find something heavier next time!”
“Klaus, come on, let’s get out of here!”
“Luther, just grab him and—”
“No!” Klaus screams. “I’m staying here!”
The walls begin to crumble; outside the door, there’s the tunnel, and his siblings holler for him.
“You’re gonna die!”
“I can’t die anymore, brother mine, I’m already dead!”
He doesn’t breathe, he doesn’t have to. Reginald tries to get into the tunnel, but Klaus’ power is in charge now. It’s breaking through, it’s breaking him as the light erupts out of his chest like a volcano.
“Boy, what did you do?” Reginald speaks for the first time, sending shivers down Klaus’ spine.
“Bus drivers taught me a few tricks.”
The force of the power outburst pushes Reginald too close to the edge, a literal edge where the end of everything begins. There are the figures in the red and black uniforms standing right behind him, dragging him straight into the twister of nothingness. All the dead Sparrows, Christopher included. Klaus would have never thought he’d ever see the ghost of the cube. Reginald dissolves slowly, putting his alien nature on display. He doesn’t have blood inside of him.
“Klaus, please, come with us!”
It’s the first time when the living ones are calling for him. His family needs him now, but he wants them to be safe, so he gives up to the sacrifice.
Five ghostly women appear, covering the Umbrellas from a gaping hole of a paradox. One of them is already familiar to Klaus. Rachel Herschberger leads Five straight into the portal of salvation.
But Klaus doesn’t see it.
Klaus Herschberger and Sir Reginald Hargreeves are swallowed by the Kugelblitz in the White Buffalo Suite.
***
He shouldn’t wake up again, but he does.
Klaus knows how to call this whole afterlife location now — this is the Void. This is his house. Yet it still concerns him — his body should be dissected to atoms by now, but…
“You’re here. Again,” a soft voice, a soft click of a tongue, scolding him.
“Mom?”
Klaus opens his eyes, seeing her face looming above him in the haze. He’s lying on the asphalt, and this is the same road where Reginald trained him. The Void does have some colors now; Rachel Herschberger wears a light yellow sundress with a floral ornament. She also looks sad. Too sad for a dead person. Klaus is too sensitive for a dead person, too. He gets up, unsteady on his feet, like a child of love of a drunk kitten and a newborn fawn.
“You need to come back.”
“I can’t,” Klaus looks down at himself. He appeared here in one piece, which is actually good. “I don’t have a body… There,” he points to the ground, unsure where he came from. “Or… There,” he points at the sky. “It’s gone! All this beauty and… muscles, and my sexy tattoos, and…”
“Klaus!”
“What? Just let me enjoy my nonexistence with you!”
He sounds and acts like a rebellious teen. Rachel shakes her head.
“You’ve got the family in the world of the living.”
“Yeah,” Klaus bites down his lip. “It’ll be a little too hard to send them birthday cards now.”
Rachel gives him her best Mom Look.
“When you first came here I… I didn’t tell you everything.”
“Oh, please, just not something like you were a virgin when you gave birth to me, so technically I’m the one who took your virginity…”
“No! No. Not this. And I actually… wasn’t, but,” she grabs him by the shoulders. “Klaus, listen to me, it’s important,” she takes a deep breath before blurting out, “You have a twin brother.”
“A twin?” Klaus freezes in disbelief. “Which one? Luther? Viktor? Nah, pretty sure he was born in Russia. Wait… is that old grumpy bitch Five?”
Rachel makes a little ta-da gesture with her hands.
“He was…” she sighs heavily. “Born alive. And you… you didn’t make it… at first, and then that man came, and…”
“Wait! Do you mean you sold Five off for three grand and…”
“We wanted to bury you, but Reginald said he… needed you.”
“Oh, dear, and you just let him have my body?” Klaus exhales. His Mom looks like she’s about to cry, so he hugs her tightly. “Sh, it’s not your fault, okay? Honestly, I don’t know what I’d do if I suddenly were to give birth to the two screaming and shitting balls of problems!”
Rachel hugs him back, sniffling into his shoulder.
“So, you forgive me?”
“Sure thing!” he says reassuringly. “We’re besties. Mom and her favorite son, yeah?”
“You can’t stay here.”
“But I don’t have a place to come back to either! This is the Void!”
“The Void gives you powers!” Rachel pulls out of his hug. “You are the Void, Klaus! You come here to… to recharge! You can go wherever you want and live your life! Just… No drugs and no cults, sweetie, I’m begging you. We’ve had enough of that.”
“Yeah, I agree.”
What if his cool trick won’t work? What if he turns into a ghost instead?
“Klaus, go,” his Mom gently pushes him. “Just focus on where you want to be now. Think about your family. And remember that you and Five are my special boys. One is all about time and space, and another one exists outside of time and space.”
Klaus nods, closes his eyes, and focuses on summoning his powers. He thinks about their girls’ nights with Allison, thinks about Viktor’s wide grin — he looks much happier since he came out. He thinks about Diego and his badass maybe-son and smiles to himself. Klaus thinks about saving Luther, and how bad it hurt, but it also gave him a deep feeling of satisfaction. Not useless. Not useless. He’s the Void himself, he can get back to them. He misses them. Even that asshat Ben. Maybe they should’ve invited him to Luther’s bachelor party.
Then he feels himself float.
“What’s happening?”
“It’s working, don’t open your eyes! Focus!” he hears Rachel’s voice from what feels like a mile away. “You’re doing great!”
Klaus doesn’t think so when he suddenly plummets and hits the ground.
“Oh shit.”
***
“Oh shit.”
It’s not his inner voice now.
“Did he just… Fall from the ceiling?! How?”
“Viktor?” Klaus opens his eyes, staring at his terrified brother.
“We thought you were… Gone.”
“Oh, so did I…” Klaus shakes his head and tries to sit up. “How long was I absent?”
“About fifteen seconds,” Five says.
Time flows differently in the Void.
They’re in the hotel hallway, still, right in front of the door of the Buffalo White Suite. None of them are missing, so Klaus didn’t mess up the timeline. Or at least, he hopes he didn’t.
“You know, guys, I have news for you…”
“Your bullshit can wait,” Five bends over and grabs at the overstretched collar of Klaus’ t-shirt. “Get up.”
It’s hard to get up when you just had to materialize yourself from nothing again, but Klaus manages to get himself upright. He leans heavily on Diego’s shoulder.
“Hey, be nice to him! He’s just resurrected Luther, he’s… fragile.”
Sloane really tries to stand up for him, but Five is an unstoppable force.
“So you’re not a ghost?”
“Diego dear, I’m pretty sure ghosts don’t feel like they’re about to puke their guts up,” Klaus groans out.
“There’s a flower tub down the hall, so you better keep it all down,” Five says.
“You speak from experience?”
“You ever shut up?”
“Hey, what’s the matter, little bro?”
“You tell me,” Five turns to him, throwing a proper show for the siblings to watch.
“What’s going on?” Allison tries to calm Five down, but he throws her hand off his shoulder. “I thought… Klaus just summoned the ghosts of our mothers to help us out!”
“Of our mothers, am I right, Klaus? The road trip? The “I don’t know anything about your mother”, who wasn’t even on that list!”
“She was,” Klaus says. “I only found out like… two minutes ago.”
“Anyone cares to explain?”
“Yeah, sure. Viktor, Luther, I know you’d love to be closer with me biologically… but… We have a winner here. My twin brother. My actual twin brother, Five. Who had a pleasure to join this world alive while I was,” he runs the side of his palm across his throat. “Busy being stillborn.”
All Klaus hears in response is a collective shit.
“Yeah, yeah, sad tale, so we won’t focus on it. And apparently, since my powers can exist outside of time and space, they can defeat the nothingness of the blitz too!”
“And it was Reginald who created the paradox by adopting the Sparrows,” Five croaks out. “And you’re my dumbass twin brother. Did she tell you who’s older?”
Klaus waves at him.
“Nope, but I’m pretty sure it’s me.”
“You wish. I know I’m older.”
“You wish.”
Sloane stands between them like a boxing judge.
“Well, can we talk about this on our way out of the hotel?”
“You better listen to my wife…”
“Luther, for fuck’s sake, you can start calling Sloane your wife only after you stop calling Reggie your Dad”, Klaus chuckles. “Pardonne moi, I had to say it.”
***
Outside, they see Ben. Standing there, checking the nonexistent wristwatch and looking tough.
“You’re alive again,” he says.
“You wanna fix it?” Klaus grins at him. “Spoiler alert, death’s my bitch now.”
Ben tries to hide his smile. When he suddenly pulls Klaus into a hug, Klaus expects to get punctured by one of the Horror’s tentacles. When it doesn’t happen, he almost sheds a few happy tears. Sibling bonding at its best.
Behind him, Diego sighs.
“So, we couldn’t get all the things un-blitzed, but most of the world looks much better now?”
Ben pushes Klaus away, only making him laugh again.
“Things like what?”
“Like Stan.”
“The briefcase kid?”
“The what kid?”
Klaus is pretty sure Diego is about to jump out of his pants, walking circles across the backyard. “Lila said she’ll meet me outside, but instead…”
Klaus scratches the back of his neck. The headache’s almost gone now.
“Maybe she finally decided to take him home?”
“No, you don’t understand! He exists again!” Diego says.
Viktor adds,
“Anyone wonders what else can exist here now again?”
“You mean like something that starts with an a and ends with a pocalypse?
Klaus doesn’t want to jump onto the boat of pessimistic prognosis, but Viktor nods, uncertain. Five blinks himself closer to the both of them, throwing his arms over their shoulders and pulling them closer.
“Well, at least we know what to do now.”
Five has involuntarily started a group hug, and all of them crumple into a tight circle like football players before the game. Allison mumbles, squeezed between Klaus and Diego,
“And what are we gonna do?”
Klaus finishes the phrase for his hardass twin.
“Be a family.”