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This was not the first time that Will laid in bed, sweating, thinking about Michael Wheeler. Also not the first time he’d had a sleepover with Mike and watched Mike sleep. Okay, that sounded gross. Honestly, Will felt gross.
This wasn’t really a sleepover, not the kind that they had been they were stupid middle schoolers thinking 10pm was late and sneaking soda from the fridge upstairs before getting yelled at by Mrs. Wheeler. No, this was a motel that Jonathan had found and it was 2am and Will was tired in his bones and couldn’t sleep. No soda, no sneaking around unless you count the secret government spies but right now in Utah- Will didn’t really care. He cared because his sister had been kidnapped, he cared because he had that feeling again. Not just the Mike feeling, the feeling in his neck like someone was breathing down it. The one that made Jonathan nervous, the one that make Mike nervous, the one that made him weirdly safe. Like this was the normal. Honestly, feeling weird was normal. Feeling insane was comforting. Will felt gross.
It was hot. Sticky. He should take a shower, get this feeling out of his skin. Nice and cold. But Mike would probably wake up, he was a light sleeper, and they all needed sleep. He wondered in his brother was awake in the room next to theirs, pacing pathetically and trying to see if their mother had returned home. Maybe he was at the pay phone in the lobby, or reading road maps from the gas station. Will couldn’t even focus on that thought as he sat up and turned to look at his friend. Mike slept on his stomach, head pushed into his arms as if to protect himself from his dreams. Will understood the feeling. His back rose and fell, his hair was a mess. It was so long now. Mike had always felt it long, but now it was curling over his shoulders. He looked pretty.
God. Will couldn’t keep his mind off his best friend even when the world was ending for the fourth time. He felt gross everytime he thought about Mike, but it had been easier when Mike wasn’t even around. Wasn’t calling or sending letters. It had even been nice to see his shitty handwriting addressing El every week, because Will got to gag as he handed the letter to El and watch Joyce shush him. He got to stay away. Will thought back to what Mike had said in the roller rink- about how maybe Will should’ve reached out more. But Will knew if he was honest with himself that he never would’ve. Initiating contact with Mike was horrifying and maybe a little self destructive. Will had no friends here, he had El to keep him company and that was enough. He missed Mike, and Lucas and Dustin. But eventually he stopped missing them as much. Eventually he got used to feeling normal, a normal teenager in a normal school with a normal family, and he didn’t want to go back to feeling sick and haunted. He didn’t want to go back to staring at Mike hopelessly and lying about girls to get Mike to stop asking. He didn’t want to go back to feeling gross.
Mike grumbled and turned over in his sleep, slinging an arm over his face as he settled on his back. The motel sheet was thin and scratchy, lazily thrown over Mike’s lower half. Will stared at him, wondering how he had lived so many months without seeing him. He knew at the end of the day, Mike was his best friend. Through thick and thin, and Will couldn’t give that up again. It was easier to not be around him, easier to not feel this way, but it felt so good to have this annoying curly-haired idiot with him. It made things feel safer.
“Will?” Mike huffed from underneath his arm, Will jumped and cleared his throat.
“Uh, yeah?” Will grunted out, trying to figure out what to do with his body. He was sitting up in bed at 2am, half a bed-head and sweating. Why did we care how looked? Mike’s eyes were closed. Just as Will started combing his hair into place, Mike sat up and rubbed his eyes. He looked horrendous, bags under his eyes and long hair all our of sorts, but Will watched him as he woke up. When Mike turned to meet Will’s gaze, Will awkwardly looked away.
“Bro, when did your voice get so deep?” Mike’s voice was light, as if everything was fine, and Will could hear the smile in it. He looked back at the grinning boy across from him.
“Oh, uh…” Will stuttered, Joyce commented on his voice all the time and annoyed him for growing up but Mike hadn’t heard his voice is months. Mike laughed.
“Are you okay?” He asked, watching Will awkwardly fix his clothes and sheets and hair and anything to focus on expect Mike.
“Can’t sleep.” Will said simply. Mike nodded.
“Is that why we’re just staring at me while I sleep or?” It was joking, almost, but serious in a way that made Will’s skin crawl. He shrugged, not finding his voice inside of him as Mike stared at him. “Hey, Will.” He looked up at Mike, who was patting the end of his bed. “Come here.” Will detangled from his sheets and moved over to the end of Mike’s bed where he sat awkwardly, desperately not looking at Mike.
“I’m fine, Mike, really.” Mike nodded, his own hands playing with the blanket as awkward silence filled the motel room.
“This is so weird, I’ve never told anyone, but like I’ve been having really bad dreams.” Mike was looking at Will, trying to catch his gaze so he could express how he was feeling correctly. Will could see the fear behind his eyes and he moved closer to Mike.
“I have those too.” Will blurted out as quickly as he could. “You’re not the only one.” He added. Mike smiled a little.
“That makes me feel better.” Will smiled back, looking down at where they’re hands were resting on the same blanket. “Having you only a bed away makes me feel better. Hawkins is so lonely without you. I know Lucas and Dustin and Max, they all lived through it too. But man, I keep dreaming about you in Hawkins Lab when the Mindflare had you and god, none of them get that? How horrifying that was to see? I know, I know you had it worse like you were dying and shit, but… None of them had to see you fading away like that.” Mike was rambling, his fingers picking at his pajama pants as he talked. “I know that your mom and Hopper, they get it, but I mean… Hopper’s dead. Ya know? So back at Hawkins, its like… It all happened. We all lived through it, of course. But we all moved on, in this weird way. It’s like they forgot. And I just can’t seem to forget. I can’t move on from you.” Will was just staring at Mike talking, missing the sound of his voice and the way his lips moved even though he was right there in front of him. “I’m so sorry I didn’t reach out. I’m so dumb.” Mike’s eyes were tearing up, and he reached out to grab Will’s hand in his and squeeze.
“Mike, it’s okay! It’s my fault too, but we’re here right now. Right? We have each other. Crazy together, remember?” Mike grabbed Will in a hug before Will could think, pulling Will into his body. He was still scrawny, but his shoulders seemed broader and Will buried his face into the crook of his neck and wrapped his arms around him in return. Mike started to shake as they held each other, before Will realized he was crying. He smoothed his hands over Mike’s back, trying to hold him as tight as possible.
“I missed you so much.” Will nodded into Mike’s neck, me too he whispered over and over into Mike’s skin. Once Mike’s crying leveled out, he leaned back, hands on Will’s shoulders. They stared at each other, Mike’s eyes red and his cheeks wet.
“Mike.” He nodded, watching Will’s face intently. “Can I tell you something?” He was nodding again, taking Will’s hands in his. When Mike looked at Will, it felt like the world stopped. Like he was the only person in the world, like nothing was as deserving of care as he was. Will took a deep breath.
“Will?” Mike was watching his face, watched Will lick his lips and saw the panic in Will’s eyes.
“I don’t like girls.” It was quiet. Mike’s eyebrows furrowed. “I,” He stuttered trying to avoid Mike’s gaze. “I like boys.” Mike’s face lifted slightly, confusion gone.
“Okay! That’s okay, Will!” He was smiling slightly and trying to give Will a comforting look, but Will started shaking slightly and let go of Mike’s hands as he moved away from his friend.
“Mike, I uh.” Why was he doing this? His sleep deprived 2am brain was moving so slow and so fast and he can’t remember why he decided he should tell Mike that-- “I like you.” He felt gross.
Gross in his brain. Gross in the skin on his hands where Mike’s hands had been. Gross because Mike was just blankly staring at him. Gross because he liked boys and he liked Mike. He more than liked Mike. He had fallen in love with his best friend and he felt gross because he didn’t ask for any of this.
“Will.” Mike said slowly. Will stood up off the bed and clenched his hands. This wasn’t going well, this wasn’t going to go well, why did he think this was a good idea? “Will!” Mike reached out to grab him and missed as Will moved away. “I like you too!”
It didn’t feel gross when Will turned around to look at Michael Wheeler, who was sitting on a shitty motel bed with a pleading look in his eyes. It didn’t feel gross when Mike grabbed his arms and pulled him closer to the bed. It didn’t feel gross to be looked at by Mike, with those heart eyes that he used to look at El with. It didn’t feel gross when Mike grabbed his face and kissed him.
Will had never been kissed before, but he was sure that this was better than average. He was sure it wasn’t supposed to be this good. Will grabbed onto Mike’s shoulders to steady himself as he half fell onto bed. Mike leaned back as he ran a hand through Will’s hair and down his face.
“Since when?” Will panted, staring at Mike’s glazed over eyes. They smiled at each other.
“Forever, I think.” Will laughed, so hard and so honestly, pushing Mike over so they were laying on the bed next to each other. They laughed. It was 2am in a shitty motel in Utah and they laughed, they grabbed each others hands and vowed to themselves to never let go. They turned to look at each other, staring at their lovesick expressions. Mike brushed a hand over Will’s face, like he couldn’t stop touching him. Will didn’t want him to stop. He felt like he was going to combust. “Michael Wheeler, is this was love feels like?” He asked, staring at Mike’s eyes that were crinkled from his smile.
“I hope so, because if anything is better than this then I don’t think I’ll be able to handle it.” Will grabbed Mike’s face this time and kissed him, over and over and over.
“I’m sleeping in this bed tonight.” Will said between kisses, touching Mike’s bangs and eyebrows and cheekbones as he stared at him.
“Good cause I never want to let you go again.” They were tangled in each other, and Will fell asleep with the feeling of lips pressed to his forehead.
When Jonathan found them tangled in one bed at 6am, he decided they could get up at 7 instead. Argyle said he was going back to sleep then too, Jonathan just smiled to himself.