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They're driving off to their last call of the day— finishing their shift with a minor call, not even a fire, and for the whole ride, Eddie can not take his gaze away from Buck, who is sitting next to him.
It's not that there is something wrong with Buck or anything, but it's just— Buck looks off. His posture is slightly shrunk and his skin looks a little bit paler than usual, and a weary expression wears his face. And Eddie can't keep his side eyes to himself.
"Are you okay?" Eddie asks in a way only Buck can hear.
Buck turns his face from the window and looks at him with a frown. "Yeah, why?"
"I don't know." Eddie shrugs. "You look a little off."
They had a relatively long shift today, definitely not their longest; but it wasn't so calm, either, so Eddie can understand the tiredness. But something tells him there is something more.
"I'm just hungry." Buck responds and rests his head against the headrest.
Now that Buck mentioned, Eddie hasn't seen Buck eat anything today. Not even lunch.
"When was the last time you ate something?"
"Breakfast." Eddie hears the hesitation in Buck's voice.
Eddie's mouth falls open. That's more than ten hours. "Why didn't you?"
"I don't know, I haven't felt like it. I think the change of the seasons got me."
Before Eddie can respond, the truck stops and Bobby tells them they're here.
"Buck, Eddie, you take the bathroom. Hen and Chim, you're with me." Bobby commands and everyone part ways.
"I just don't think you should starve yourself." Eddie says as they both go in the house and head to the bathroom. "You look like you're gonna fall over any second."
"I'm not starving myself, I just thought I'd eat something after the shift." Buck protests but his voice comes out weak and tired, like he has no strength to even talk.
"Still, it's not healthy." Eddie nudges his shoulder against Buck's lightly and gives him a look that screams Don't do that again, I'm worried about you.
In return, Buck smiles at him fondly. "I'll be careful next time."
The bathroom is like a house on its own, unnecessarily big and luxurious— even has a sauna in it, and overwhelmingly moist with steam surrounding the whole room.
"What the hell is with the air?" Eddie knits his brows and looks around.
"Oh, look. They left the sauna on." Buck rolls his eyes and nears the coals. "Who forgets to turn it off?"
As Buck takes a look over and around the rocks to find a way to turn it off; two things happen.
When Eddie turns his back to Buck, Buck suddenly stops looking around and wavers on his feet— faltering on his steps, and then, his knees buckle and he falls on the ground with his back hitting against the steaming hot coals. As he falls over, his hand knocks over the bucket of water that's standing on the bench and the hot liquid spills all over his chest.
The horrific, horrific screams coming from Buck roars in Eddie's ears and gets his attention. He immediately turns around to see Buck half laying on top of the rocks and screaming his guts out in pain.
"Buck!" He rushes to Buck's side and crouches down next to him. "Hen! Chim! Get in here!"
Buck continues to scream and writhe in agony as his skin gets scalded and fuck Eddie has to find the switch button before Buck's skin melts away in front of his eyes. He starts on his feet and notices a small red heater and quickly brings it down to zero.
"What happened?!" Hen runs inside and kneels next to Buck.
"Buck, stop moving!" Chimney says and puts his hand on the back of Buck's head to prevent it from dropping on the rocks.
Buck squeezes his eyes shot and torturous screams rip his throat as he tries to get away from the steam underneath him but fails, only ending up with digging his skin deeper into the rock.
"Buck, Buck. Stop. Stop moving." Eddie wraps his fingers around Buck's ankle in the hopes of grounding him, if that's even possible. Buck is shaking under him. Shaking Eddie's hand with him.
"We have to cut his shirt off his chest." Hen takes out the scissors from the kit and starts cutting off the shirt and tosses it aside. Buck lets out a shaky sob as Hen exposes his chest.
Buck's chest is red. It's flushed and almost dark red and it looks horrible. Eddie can't bring himself to think what his back will look like.
Bobby paces in with a headboard and Eddie holds the other side to lower it on the ground.
"We have to move him."
They manage to move him and put him on the headboard laying on his side, and the whole ride to the hospital is like a nightmare.
Eddie sits across Buck and presses a wet cloth on his chest with his one hand while his other hand rests on Buck's head to soothe him as Buck drifts in and out of consciousness. Not only because he wants Buck to feel him close and know that he is here, but also he can not dare to look at his back and see how messed up it is.
Hen and Chim are working on Buck's back and trying their best to stabilize his wounds; but the back of Buck's shirt is sticking into his skin and there is almost nothing they can do other than get him to a hospital and let the doctors rip the pieces of fabrics off his skin.
"You're gonna be okay." Eddie rests his forehead on Buck's and whispers.
Buck only whimpers and his body shakes, he doesn't give Eddie an answer.
"We're here!" Bobby shouts and the truck stops, Chim pushes the doors open and they lift the headboard to place it on a gurney but the sudden movements cause Buck to scream and grit his teeth.
"Be careful!" Eddie tells the people around him.
After they put Buck on the gurney, the nurses roll him in.
"We treated and dressed the burns on his chest. Now they are preparing him for the burns on his back." The doctor explains them.
It's been a while since they admitted Buck, and Eddie is losing his mind internally. Buck got scalded before his eyes, and his head feels too dizzy with spinning thoughts in his mind.
"We will put him in a sterile room and clean his back, take off the remaining fabrics one by one." The doctor speaks calmly.
Eddie has only one thing in his mind. "Can I stay with him?"
The doctor turns his head to him and gives him a sympathetic look.
"Please, I can wear surgical scrubs and put on a mask." He doesn't want Buck to be alone.
After looking like she is calculating the possibilities with her eyes, the doctor sighs and nods her head. "Okay, come with me and the nurses will help you change."
"Thank you."
They let him into a white sterile room with bright lights that are strong enough to blind his eyes, and right in the middle of the room, there is a stretcher, and Eddie has to take a deep breath and swallow the lump in his throat before getting closer to the man laying on it.
Amongst the lights surrendering the room, Buck is laying on his left side on the bed with a blanket draped over his legs and just above his waist to keep him warm. The only color he has on his skin is the ugly red burns on his back in contrast to his pale skin, and it's the first time Eddie sees them.
Buck's upper back is a mess. His skin is burned and scraped— the fresh flesh beneath his peeled skin showing itself in some places, and he has pieces of fabric of his navy uniform melted into his skin. It makes Eddie sick to his stomach to see how ruined it is. He feels a tightness around his chest, squeezing his heart.
He sucks in a deep breath to compose himself and makes his way next to Buck and sits on the stool next to him.
Second after, Buck's squeezed shut eyes slit open and he sluggishly lifts his eyes to look at Eddie. Buck's ocean blues are blood-shot and red rimmed, but when he sees Eddie, fresh tears dwell on his eyes and his brows wrinkle.
"Eddie." He breathes out shakily and inches his hand closer to Eddie, like he wants to hold his hand.
"I'm here, Buck." Eddie pulls his chair closer and immediately grasps Buck's hand— locking his fingers with Buck's, and squeezes tightly. He brings his other arm to rest on the back of Buck's head and buries his fingers into Buck's curls.
"We can begin if you're ready." The doctor interrupts their moment with a gentle voice.
When Buck nods his head in a tiny movement, the nurses begin to clean his wound.
On the first touch to his burnt skin, a trembling whimper tears Buck's throat. The tears fall down his face when he clenches his eyes close, and he takes in a shallow shuddering breath.
Eddie's fingers scratch the back of Buck's head lightly, and he strokes Buck's skin with the hand he is holding back and forth in an attempt to give him another feeling to focus on other than the gruesome pain.
Buck lets out another whimper and digs his teeth into his lip and buries his face into the pillow.
"Don't hold it." Eddie says quietly and pulls Buck's head into his chest and hovers his chest over Buck— hiding him from the rest of the world, and continues to hold his head close with his hand still scratching his hair. "You can scream."
With his buried into Eddie and Eddie almost enveloping him; Buck doesn't hold back.
Eddie keeps Buck close to his chest and holds Buck's shaking hand as Buck's painful screams and cries fill the room. His lips brush against Buck's temple and give him a soft kiss before Eddie nuzzles his nose into Buck's curls.
"Almost done."
"Hear that? You're doing great." Eddie whispers. "Just a little longer."
After they finish cleaning the skin and dressing Buck's wounds, they let him rest and sleep in his room; and a few hours later— they let him go.
But of course, Eddie has no plans on letting Buck stay alone in his soulless loft.
"You're coming with me." Eddie says as he folds Buck's stuff and puts them in a bag.
Buck is sitting on the edge of the bed watching Eddie. He is wearing some sweatpants and a green t-shirt, and his white bandages are peeking under the collar.
"Okay." Buck's voice is steady, but he sounds tired.
His acceptance without any protest tells Eddie how worn down and in pain Buck must be.
"Let's go."
"Where's Chris?" Buck asks him when he opens the door to stillness.
"He is at a sleepover. I'm gonna hear a mouthful from him when he finds out you're staying." It amazes Eddie how Chris and Buck have formed a strong connection and how they adore each other; but it also makes him emotional and melts his heart because Buck is one of the few people who sees Chris as he is, and loves him.
Buck chuckles lightly and ducks his head forward, then he slowly sits on the couch and rests his head on his knuckles— his elbow resting on the armrest.
"What are you doing?" Eddie arches his brow.
"Uh— sitting?" Buck frowns.
"Well, continue your sitting in the kitchen because we're gonna eat something." Eddie puts their bag on the floor. "
"I don't want to get poisoned." Buck looks at him and smiles archly.
Eddie makes a shocked face, but deep down, it relieves him to see Buck teasing him, even in his current state.
"Wow, I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that."
Eddie prepares a plate with sandwich and crackers for both of them and sets the table while Buck sits in one of the chairs and takes small sips from his tea.
"There you go." Eddie offers the plate to Buck and sits across from him.
"Thanks. It looks good."
They eat their food in silence and Eddie doesn't push Buck to talk because as today's adrenaline finally starts to wear off and fade away; Buck looks more and more tired. By the time they finish their food, Buck is wriggling on his chair and trying to move his back— wincing while he does it.
"What's wrong?" Eddie asks.
"It itches." Buck groans in frustration and lets out a sigh.
"Does it hurt?"
"A little." Buck drops his gaze on the ground.
Eddie knows Buck enough to figure it hurts more than 'a little', but doesn't say anything. Instead, he gets up and brings a painkiller, and puts it on the table with a glass of water.
Buck lifts his head to meet his eyes with Eddie, and the look in his eyes is nothing but tender.
While Eddie cleans the kitchen, he sees Buck is almost dozing off on the table with his head dropped on his chest.
"Buck."
Buck snaps his head up and blinks. "What?" He furrows his brows and yawns.
"Go sleep in my bed, you're tired." Eddie says. "No, you're not sleeping on the couch." He interrupts when Buck opens his mouth to protest.
Buck lets out a loud sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Fine." He gets on his feet and leaves the kitchen.
By the time Eddie finishes cleaning, flicks the lights off and slides into the bedroom where the soft yellow light of the bedside lamp dimming his room; he sees Buck on the right side of the bed near the window, sleeping on top of the covers with his one hand under the pillow, his chest rising and falling evenly. The dim light shadows its shine on Buck's sleeping form, and for a second, Eddie just… watches.
Maybe he wants this forever.
But that talk is for another time.
He quietly goes to Buck's side of the bed and crouches down; puts his hand on Buck's shoulder and gives him a featherlight squeeze.
"Buck." He whispers. "Why aren't you under the covers?"
Buck mumbles without opening his eyes. "Too much pressure."
Makes sense.
"Do you want something thinner?"
Buck shrugs and buries his nose deeper into the pillow.
Eddie opens the drawer slowly without making a sound and takes out two thin blankets— one for him, one for Buck, and drapes it over Buck's sleeping form.
He turns off the lamp and climbs on the bed, unfolds the blanket and covers himself with it.
He turns to his side and watches Buck sleep until his eyelids droop.
"Sit here." Eddie guides Buck on the closed toilet lid and gets his med kit from the cabinet.
Buck needs his dressing to be changed, and even though Eddie tries his best to not show it, he is dreading it.
Dressing change means taking off the bandages, it means seeing those ugly burns and Buck's red flesh, and that means reliving the times where Buck was writhing in pain while all Eddie could do was to hold his hand like a loser. It means Buck was in pain and he was hurt, which is easily one of the top things Eddie hates seeing.
It also means the possibility of hurting Buck while he trails his fingers across Buck's skin and cleaning the burns.
Shaking his head to scatter his thoughts, Eddie places the kit on the edge of the sink and opens it.
"You need to take off your shirt." Eddie stands in front of Buck. "I'll help." He raises his hands.
"I'll do it." Buck blurts out sharply and pulls away, looking at Eddie with stubborn eyes.
Eddie bites down his own obstinance and swallows. "Okay."
Buck wraps his fingers around the hems of his shirt and takes a deep breath before he starts to pull up his shirt slowly. His shirt isn't even halfway up when a pained whimper leaves his lips. Buck stops and sucks in shallow and quick breaths, visibly shaking, and— no, Eddie will not sit and watch him suffer just because he wants to prove something.
"Buck, let me help." He holds both of Buck's hands and lowers them on his thigh. "Let me help." He stares at Buck deeply— into his soul.
Buck holds his gaze on Eddie and bites down his lips, his breathing slowly returning to normal. "Okay." He manages.
Eddie holds the end of the shirt and gently lifts it, taking it off of Buck's neck.
"Easy." He says when Buck hisses under his touch.
He takes Buck's one arm and takes it off of the sleeve, does the same for the other arm, and folds the shirt nicely.
"Let's do the chest first, huh?" Eddie asks Buck.
Buck nods and gives him a hesitant smile.
Buck's chest isn't too bad. It's pink and slightly peeled, but it's not deep.
Eddie wraps the bandage off and puts it in a trash can. He takes a sponge and soaks it with cool water and soap, and crouches down in front of Buck.
"It's not looking bad." Eddie says as he observes the burns. "The burns are shallow, so that's good." He takes the wet sponge and applies it on Buck's chest lightly.
Buck flinches back and hisses. "Ow. Be gentle."
"Sorry." He takes a deep breath and presses the sponge again, even lighter this time.
It doesn't take too long for Eddie to finish Buck's front; he spreads an antibiotic cream and applies a new dressing on.
His back, however; it will be a whole nother story.
"Show time." Buck deadpans as Eddie goes behind him.
Something twists his stomach when Eddie looks at Buck's back. It's better than yesterday, sure, but it's still bad. The burns on his back are open with damp flesh— red and pink everywhere, and Buck's skin is peeling around the burns.
"It's bad, isn't it?" Buck croaks out, when Eddie stays silent longer than he needs to.
"It's healing. " Eddie answers.
"Can you take a picture and show it to me?"
Oh. Right. Buck hasn't seen what it looks like.
Eddie really doesn't want to do this. But if he doesn't he knows for a fact that Buck will stand up and try to see his back in front of the mirror— and stretch his wounds while bending around and trying to get a clear look.
"Hold on." Eddie says and takes out his phone out of his pocket.
He takes a picture and gives Buck the phone hesitantly.
Eddie fixes his gaze on Buck and watches his reaction closely while Buck looks at the picture silently.
"Wow." Buck whispers. "It's really bad."
"It won't always stay like that." Eddie takes the phone back and puts it in his pocket. He won't let Buck stare at it and spiral. "Stay still while I clean this, okay?"
"Bossy." Buck smirks.
"Yeah, you haven't seen it yet." Eddie smiles back.
Buck snaps his head towards Eddie and arches his brow, his eyes burn with excitement. "Really?"
Before his heart jumps out of his chest and he dies from a possible heart attack, Eddie puts his hand on top of Buck's head and turns it. "Stay still."
He takes the sponge and presses it on Buck's back while holding him from his shoulder with his other hand to stop him from moving. His thumb brushes across Buck's skin when Buck winces quietly.
"Sorry." He faintly squeezes Buck's shoulder.
"Can you be quick?" Buck says with a wavering voice behind his gritted teeth.
Eddie presses the sponge all over Buck's back until Buck starts to shake under his fingers and struggles to hold himself up any longer.
"Okay, it's done." Eddie assures and puts a clean bandage around his torso.
He takes one of his own zip up hoodies and helps Buck wear it.
By the time they are finished, if Eddie sees the wetness on Buck's eyelashes, he doesn't mention it.
"Do you want to rest or eat something?" Eddie offers. "Or we can watch a movie."
Buck looks at him and contemplates his options. "Eat something while watching a movie."
Eddie chuckles. "Sure."
They are watching a movie and sitting close to each other on the couch, eating snacks when Eddie speaks.
"I think you should stay." Eddie doesn't keep his eyes off the movie. "For a little longer."
Eddie can hear Buck's smile even without looking at him.
"Okay."