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Borislav Slavov: Baldur's Gate 3 OST - "Wash My Pain Away"
Love is a strange thing.
Nobody can quite prepare you for what it is. Nobody can describe what exactly it is. The timing of it is left to the stars and those who reside beyond. Mortals simply wander the universe in search of it and some never find it. Mighty people fell from the grace because of it and a great many rose thanks to it. In fact, wars have been fought and peace has been agreed upon just for the sake of love.
The young wizard from Waterdeep spent his early years refusing to believe love existed, at least the way bards described it in their ballads. True, he loved a great many things, like the ancient tomes in his library and the song of sparrows perched on his linden tree but he wouldn’t be fooled into acknowledging something that defied logic like nothing ever could. After all, he was a man of rationality, or so he believed, until he met the raven-haired woman on a sunny afternoon in Candlekeep.
Love is a beautiful thing.
At first, Gale hadn’t understood who she was. She’d appeared out of the blue in the library when the wizard was alone and pointed out the mistakes in his work. The young wizard objected initially but his guard fell quickly. Despite the harshness of her words, the way her dark hair fell on marble skin like a waterfall destroyed any defence he could have. Her eyes were also dark but Gale felt as if they contained secrets of the stars, not knowing that was actually true. A small, pointy nose scoffed at him when she was disappointed with his theorems. Full, umber-painted lips awarded him with smiles when he performed well. Soon the wizard found himself mesmerized and addicted to this game of push and pull, spending his days at the Firefly library in Candlekeep, hoping to see the mysterious lady again.
Eventually, she introduced herself. She was indeed a lady of mystery; in fact, she was the Lady of Mystery. Queen of the Arcane. Mother of the Weave. She was the goddess Mystra and she had spotted Gale among everyone and everything. The wizard felt flattered. He felt strong and important. Every day he worked harder, coming up with spells and theorems to please the goddess. His struggles and determination entertained her. In return, she taught him.
She taught him to feel the weave around him and to hone his arcane potential. She taught him to dance. She taught him to kiss. One fateful night when the moon was full and there were no clouds, she teleported him to the top of a far mountain and taught him how a man pleased a woman. After that, like a sudden eclipse, she disappeared from his life and took all his joy and strength with her.
Love is a cruel thing.
At first, he thought she'd be back. He filled countless journals with discoveries and questions for her. He kept his bedchamber pristine and burnt the incense she enjoyed. Then he went to her temples and left offerings. He meditated in dark rooms to connect with her. He attempted spells to send her messages. When all failed and his hope started to dwindle, he became irritated. He drank and he yelled; he hurt and got hurt. He found himself entertaining the craziest ideas.
The desire to have her back was intoxicating, yet there was no solution. But… What if Gale could find a way to please the goddess again? Would she return? But how could a mortal please a goddess anyway? Mystra was the embodiment of all the secrets of the arcane, how could a young wizard make himself worthy of her affection once again?
Then, on an unbelievably cold winter morning, he found what he needed. In a dusty tome forgotten on unused shelves of a dead Waterdeep wizard, there was a legend describing an item, hiding a fragment of primal Weave locked out of time. Weave being a part of Mystra, the item hid from the goddess a piece of herself. Gale couldn't believe his eyes. Hope lit up like a stubborn candle again. He returned to his home and immediately began the preparations. He would summon the tome of the gateway , find the lost piece of Weave and return it to the goddess. He would do that even if it consumed him.
Love is a scary thing.
The task would indeed consume him. Bright blue lights would erupt from his eyes and his mouth, and pain would settle on his chest, never to leave. And even as that happened the young wizard would cling on, thinking of nothing but his lost lover's embrace. His screams matching the buzzing of the spell, he would soon fall to the ground with a burning sensation in his chest and frustration in his mind.
Tears falling uncontrollably, Gale walked out of the cottage in the forest he'd been renting. He wrapped his arms around his chest and groaned in pain, walking on the snow barefoot and not feeling the cold. After a few clumsy steps, the fire in him became unbearable and he threw himself into the snow. The cold soothed him but only momentarily.
"Don't leave me…" he whispered in the dark. "Please. It hurts so much. I cannot… do this anymore."
Suddenly, he opened his eyes and instead of the snow on his skin, felt the warmth of a nearby campfire. It took him some moments to realize he was in the camp down by the river and not in the forest near Waterdeep. Was it all a dream? Had he never fallen in love? Just as he was about to believe that idea and feel relieved, something hummed inside his chest and the truth hit him again.
"Gale?" A soft voice pulled him back from a world of hurt and misery. The wizard turned his head and saw the wood elf sitting next to his bedroll, a worried expression engraved on her face.
"I…" the wizard tried to speak, only to realize his voice was drowned in fear. He closed his eyes again and tried to suppress the tears.
The wood elf was quiet for a moment but then Gale felt her fingers intertwine with his. "It's all just a bad dream. I don’t know if you were speaking to me or to the dream but… I am not leaving you." She spoke gently. "You're here now. You're safe."
"Am I?" The wizard laughed bitterly. "You're telling me I am safe, with a tadpole in my head, an arcane bomb in my chest, and a gods damn vampire 15 feet from me?"
The wood elf smiled. Her curly red hair flew with the wind and landed on her freckled face. "Yes, Gale. I am telling you you're safe."
"Then you are my dear, in fact lying to me."
She considered his comment for a second. Then she got up, pushed her bow and quiver away from her bedroll and pulled it next to Gale's. "What if I am? Would it be so bad that we pretend that we are going to be alright?"
Love is a persistent thing.
Despite all.
Gale failed to remain grumpy and smiled at the elf. He waited until she was in her bedroll, then let her place her head on his chest. He moved his fingertips softly on her brown skin, grounding himself. "What did you dream of?" She asked after some time.
"The worst moments of my life" he responded easily. It was the truth. Between the moment he'd failed at the ritual and placed a Netherese destruction orb in himself to the day he consumed his first artifact, he had experienced pain like he never did before. And despite all that, he had still thought of the goddess the entire time. Now looking back, she didn't feel warm or loving anymore. Mystra had found him as an excited, determined boy and left a broken, cynical man behind.
"The worst moment of your life so far. " The wood elf responded.
"Was that supposed to comfort me?" Gale asked but found himself laughing softly at the same time.
"Yes actually. If there is a chance that the worst moment of your life is still out there, it also means that the best moment of your life may also be waiting for you too. We are alive, Gale. That's all that matters."
"That's all that matters." The wizard echoed and closed his eyes again.
They slept soundly until the first light of the dawn. For the first time since they started travelling, they slept without holding onto a staff or a bow.