Chapter Text
Steve and Nancy were truly, madly deeply in love.
Platonicaly.
It all started before Vecna. Steve was an asshole and Nancy didn't really care.
He spend his time around his group of friends. They liked to push other people around, laugh at them and Steve was pretty sure they beat up a lot of people when he wasn't around. He let them be. He stayed quiet when Jason was punching textbooks out of some boy's hands and he just walked away when he was calling some guy a fag. It didn't concern him.
In the beginning they were really dating. Steve quickly asked Nancy out between classes and she said yes. He was into her curls and she liked how he was all tuff until you saw him look like a lost puppy.
They were dating for a while. Went on dates, rented movies to watch, or make out in Nancy's bedroom when her parents were at work. But it stopped there. Neither of them tried doing more. Sometimes it felt like a silent agreement. And who were they kidding, most of the time they were just cuddling and talking. In Steve's opinion, it was nicer that way. He didn't get why couples feel the urge to do something all the time. And Nancy seemed to be on the same page. She never really sought more. It worked like this. They were fine. He was fine.
--------------
He was fine until he wasn't.
It hit him in the face when he went to rent a movie for his date with Nancy. There was a guy behind the register. He was definitely taller than Steve. His hair was short but still managed to tingle him on his forehead. He run his hand through his hair and smiled. Steve was in such shock, that he almost forgot to speak. His whole world was spinning. He found that guy... handsome. Pretty. The guy waved to Steve when he was walking out of the store. And God... Steve almost fainted right there, in the middle of an aisle. What was he supposed to do? He had a girlfriend for God's sake!
He left the store, sat in his car and started shaking. He gripped the fabric of his trousers as he felt the first tear run down his face.
Being gay was out of the question. His father would kill him if he was lucky. He will be one of the freaks. he can't be one of the freaks. He can't... he...
A choked sound made his way out. He started to slowly scratch his hands. It was a nice feeling. Always calmed him down.
He ruined everything. Nancy was the only person that liked him and now she will figure out how fucked he is and leave. Same as his parents. He isn't good enough. Maybe... if he tried, he could forget about it. Be normal.
Steve started to have a hard time focusing on what was even going on. His mind was having a race that he couldn't control. He felt like he was going to faint. Half the time there was just darkness in what he saw. He felt like he was underwater and most of the noise from outside couldn't get to him and he was drowning. He couldn't breathe... he was trying to find anything to bring him back.
Normal.
It seemed funny to him. He was normal just 15 minutes ago. Normal. Straight. And he had Nancy. And now he was having a panic attack in his car. Just by himself.
After calming down a little he brought his hands to his face to wipe his tears away but flinched as soon as the salty water touched his fingers. Oh fuck. His breath was still heavy and his face was swollen as he looked down at his hands. Shit. In a desperate fight for something to keep him grounded he scratched the skin off his fingers and hands. Now he could only see red spots. There wasn't much blood so he just started his car and tried to get himself home.
____________
Ater cleaning his hands and putting some dressing over them he called Nancy to tell her he is sick and he will have to stay home for a few days. He needed some time alone. Come up with a plan for what to do.
He started sawing up money ages ago. Steve's relationship with his parents wasn't the best so he felt safer with some money on him if running away was needed. His get-away bag was always at least halfway packed and that was the only thing keeping him sane when his parents decided to surprise him with their company for a weekend. But now he needed more money because he was in greater danger. He has to find a job.
Before he could really think about it Nancy was at his door.
"Steve! I know you hear me. It's Nancy! I brought you some food in case you didn't want to cook for yourself."
Steve stayed quiet. Maybe she would leave. She could stand there forever. But unfortunately, it was Nancy he was talking about. Nancy that wouldn't just leave him alone. She tried to open the door and Steve started cursing himself because he forgot to lock the damn door.
Now they were standing face to face. His swollen face in front of her scared expression.
"Steve! Oh my God, what happened?" She ran to him and he took a few steps back so he was now standing in the living room. Nancy took his face into her hands and carefully searched for any injuries. When she didn't find any she took Steve by the hand and led him to the sofa.
They sat there for a few seconds but Nancy just had to ask.
"What happened? Are you ok?" Her eyes flickered to his hands.
And that was Steve's last straw. He started crying all over again. This time Nancy was there to ground him but even with that, it was still an unpleasant feeling. He cried for what felt like hours. Nancy held him and whispered calming words which made everything even worse. He didn't want to lose this. Didn't want to lose her.
"I fucked it up, Nancy. Don't leave please." he said his face still buried in her shoulder.
"You didn't mess up anything. It's ok." She talked slow, trying to calm him down.
"But it's not!"
"Steve trust me..."
"But you're not listening!" she just wouldn't let him talk!
"...Whatever you did..."
"Nancy!"
"...I won't be mad"
"I'm gay."
There was a beat of silence.
"Please don't tell anybody! I'm sorry! I know I'm an asshole. I'm sorry..." his voice got quieter and quieter. Nancy stayed silent and Steve could see the tears gathering up in her eyes. He felt like he needs to apologize more. Beg her to keep quiet so he doesn't have to leave Hawkins. Before he even opened his mouth she pulled him into a crushing hug.
"Oh God... I was so scared Steve. So scared you will hate me." now Steve had no clue what was going out. She was running her fingers through his hair and he rubbed small circles on her back
"I... " she started again "Y'know... I was thinking and... I love you Steve but not the way that I should. I don't love men the way that I should, if you understand..." she looked him in the eyes. "I was scared to tell you but if we are in the same boat..."
And then they were both crying, holding each other close and not saying anything at all. They didn't need to. They knew they got each other back and that was all there needed to be. As time passed they fell asleep in the arms of the other.
-------------------
They talked in the morning. Not sure what to say but they couldn't run from the needed conversation. Both aware of the danger they were facing they settled on continuing their relationship at least in front of other people. In privet, they will be just friends. They talked a little more after. Not about anything important, just enjoin company of the other now that everything was in the open. No secrets. Steve couldn't be happier with how it turned out... even if the way to it was a little bit rocky.