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The gentle swing of the door and the jingling of keys generates an echo through the spacious hallway of Kaoru’s apartment.
Metal hits marble as Kaoru's keys land on his kitchen counter with a thud.
“Finally, home sweet home.” Kojiro yawns, following Kaoru into the house as he shrugs off his chef jacket.
“That’s strange. I don’t remember having a roommate in this house.” Kaoru scowls.
Kojiro rolls his eyes but a small grin forms on his face. “Weren’t you the one begging me to stay over in the first place?”
“If you insist on making false narratives, just know that this is my house, and I can kick you out of here whenever I want.”
“I’ll take Carla with me before I go. She’ll probably enjoy my company more anyways.” Kojiro sends a shit-eating grin toward Kaoru’s way.
Kaoru raises an eyebrow and points behind Kojiro. “The door is right there.”
“You wouldn’t dare, Sakurayashiki sensei.” Kojiro entices, despite Kaoru’s warnings.
“Try me.” Kaoru challenges. He stands still, arms crossed, waiting for Kojiro to respond.
For a moment, both of them simply watch each other, waiting for the other to make a move. Then, Kojiro proceeds to walk a few steps closer, close enough for Kaoru to smell his cologne and the faint aroma of Sia la Luce on him. Kojiro stations himself there briefly before he turns his heel the other way.
“I’m gonna hop in the shower first, kay?”
Annoyed and exasperated, Kaoru swiftly turns his head towards the side.
“Hurry up then gorilla, you smell.” Kaoru resorts to answering before he wanders toward his bedroom.
Kojiro shouts across the room. “For real? You’re letting me use the shower first?”
“Yes, go before I change my mind.” Kaoru doesn’t bother turning around, his voice drowning out of the living room.
The audacity of this man to argue with him. Even though it was Kojiro who draped himself over the bar counter after a long day at Sia la Luce. Even though it was Kojiro who endlessly complained about how exhausted he was tonight. Even though it was Kaoru who offered to drive him back to his house.
If Kaoru didn’t spare the singular ounce of sympathy that he had in his body, then perhaps he wouldn’t have to deal with the terrible mistake of Kojiro Nanjo disrupting the peace of his own home.
He could’ve said no, in fact, he could’ve just said nothing at all, and he wouldn’t have allowed this predicament to happen. Kojiro even pointed out that he could be dropped off at his own place so he wouldn't have to bother Kaoru. But in the end, Kaoru offered his place to stay, adding a quick explanation about how he was saving gas if he skipped the trip to Kojiro’s place and went straight to his place instead.
Whatever, Kaoru tells himself, everything is all Kojiro’s fault.
To be fair though, at least from Kaoru’s judgment, he could tell that Kojiro does need the assistance.
And it’s not like Kaoru dislikes Kojiro’s company, as much as he hates to admit it, but it’s the fact that Kaoru feels like the closer Kojiro gets to him, the more willing he is to let his walls down. Their many years of friendship allowed them to build a bridge from one person to the other, the passage always open but never crossing paths.
Being in close proximity with Kojiro like this feels nerve-wracking, but it also feels commonplace. Kaoru could easily fall into the arms of Kojiro, letting go of his defenses. He would be very willing to do that too, all for the sake of Kojiro. And that scares Kaoru the most.
“Hey.”
Kaoru jumps, startled at the sudden noise that disrupts his thoughts.
He turns to find Kojiro looming over him with nothing but a bath towel on his waist and a smaller towel in his hand tossing his green curls. His torso is on full display, the ‘V’ of his waist prominently showcased. Kaoru’s cheeks turn pink.
“Would it hurt for you to put on some proper clothes before you step out of the bathroom?” Kaoru starts.
“God, I just got out of the shower. And I would put some on if I had any…” Kojiro explains, scanning his surroundings.
“Your forgetful ass left some from last time when you were here.” So Kaoru lets Kojiro stay over a little more often than he needs to. “They’re in the living room cabinet near the sofa. I placed them in there when I found them messily thrown onto the ground of my home.”
It was not messily thrown, but it’s the best that Kaoru could do for an insult since frankly, he’s quite irritated at Kojiro’s sudden appearance. Moreover, he’s even more irritated that prior to Kojiro’s arrival, Kojiro still managed to make his way into Kaoru’s thoughts. He lives rent free in his home and his mind.
Kojiro turns his head towards Kaoru. His left eyebrow twitches, offended by Kaoru’s comment. “I’m pretty sure I folded them before I left last time.”
“And I’m pretty sure you could’ve just taken them instead of letting it crowd up my space.”
“You saying I’m crowding up your home?”
“Are you not here in my house right now?”
At that, Kojiro’s eyebrows raise up. He takes a moment to pause before speaking.
“Kaoru, if you didn’t want me to stay over—“
“That’s not what I meant.” Kaoru interjects quickly.
Kojiro shoots Kaoru a bewildered expression. Kaoru wishes Kojiro didn’t look at him so innocently like that, it just makes him feel even worse.
Kaoru clears his throat. “I mean, you can stay. Just… whatever, I’m gonna shower now.”
“Okay. Make sure you don’t fall asleep in there.” Kojiro says lightly, going back into the ebb and flow of their relationship. Kaoru sighs in relief as the tension of the room disbands.
“I’ll try not to.” Kaoru assures Kojiro before shutting the bathroom door.
–
A cloud of mist follows Kaoru out of the shower. He’s less frustrated after a nice shower, but even so, his mind can’t stop overthinking the conversation he had with Kojiro.
Why does he feel so bothered about it? Did he go too far? They argue all the time, so why does it feel so tense in his house? Why do he and Kojiro end up in useless arguments that always go nowhere?
He doesn’t know. Whenever it comes to Kojiro, he just acts without thinking. He’s gotten too comfortable with their relationship to really be careful with his words. And yet, he still worries his way into everything he says.
He wishes he could say he understands how Kojiro thinks after all these years of knowing him, but that’s just not true. Kojiro, on the other hand, always knows exactly what to say. He may say something idiotic every once in a while, but he always knows how to navigate his way around Kaoru by being understanding and attentive.
It’s annoying. Because Kaoru feels that the exchange does not go both ways.
“It’s fine.” Kaoru tells himself. His overthinking never got him anywhere other than a deeper spiral of strong emotions.
When he walks out into the living room, he sees Kojiro fully clothed (thank god), lying down on his sofa with his eyes closed.
Kaoru halts for a few seconds, taking in the sight in front of him. He walks closer. “…Kojiro?” He whispers.
No response. Not that he was expecting one though, Kojiro has always been a heavy sleeper.
“Kojiro?” He whispers again but much louder, getting closer to the sofa.
Still nothing. Was Kojiro that tired that he knocked out immediately after a shower?
The scent of his own shampoo fills Kaoru’s senses as he kneels at the foot of the sofa, his face at the same level as Kojiro’s.
With this intimate distance, he observes the curves and edges of Kojiro’s face. How peaceful Kojiro appears as his chest rises and falls in a steady rhythm. The man actually can be tolerable if he knew how to shut up once in a while.
Similar to a puppy in deep slumber, Kojiro exudes a certain tranquility when he rests that feels oddly comforting, almost endearing in Kaoru’s eyes.
“You’re gonna catch a cold if you don’t dry your hair properly.” Kaoru can’t help but scold him even in his sleep, the corners of his mouth raised ever so slightly.
He reaches out with a hand and brushes Kojiro’s bangs to one side, revealing his forehead.
Traces of a furrowed brow and an annoyed expression on Kojiro, usually present in their heated arguments, are replaced with a smooth, relaxed surface. Kaoru’s fingers are a light feathery touch to Kojiro’s skin.
Traveling his hand lower on his face, Kaoru pokes Kojiro’s cheek lightly with his pointer finger. He lifts his hand for a brief second, waiting once more for any possibility of Kojiro jolting awake.
When nothing happens yet again, Kaoru’s hand slowly goes back onto Kojiro’s cheek, though this time he brushes it gently with his knuckles. The skin below is soft and warm, and the sensation reaches its way to Kaoru’s palm.
The constant yelling in each other’s faces always left the impression of Kojiro, up close and personal, ingrained into Kaoru’s mind. However, the proximity only reached the extent of their boundaries within their friendship. Kaoru has never even allowed himself to think of arriving at these lengths, and yet at this very moment, he finds himself unwilling to pull away from his best friend.
Kaoru strokes his cheek once more, before opening up his palm to cup Kojiro’s face gingerly.
He glances at Kojiro’s closed eyelids and frowns when he notices the dark circles underneath.
Despite his and everyone else’s encouragement of Kojiro to take a break every once in a while, Kojiro frequently overworks himself to the bone in perfecting his Italian restaurant. Not only does he attempt to hone the taste of his food with his culinary skills, but he also maintains good customer relationships easily with his social butterfly personality.
It’s not much of a surprise that many loyal customers always come back, seeing the way he enthusiastically welcomes everyone to his place.
He’ll sacrifice his own well-being if it means he can perpetuate the happiness of those around him. Why else would he leave an open door and a full plate of food for Kaoru every night if it wasn’t out of his sheer kindness to others?
No matter how many times Kaoru complains about his cooking, Kojiro’s kindness never falters and never expects anything in return.
His line of vision travels down to Kojiro’s nose, then down to his lips.
This is the source of the insults in their fights that fall out so quickly and naturally. The sweet talk of every person he flirts with. The orders of different food items that he recommends. The kind and supportive advice that he gives to others. So much from one loud mouth.
Now there’s no movement, no noise that spews out from it. It’s as quiet as the night air. With the lack of vocal sound coming from his mouth, Kaoru focuses his attention on Kojiro’s lips. The way that they round out like a pout, all rosy red and soft, how could he not stare?
His lips are settled on his face, plump and heart-shaped. At every exhale of breath he takes, they part open ever so slightly.
Kaoru has the urge to come closer to them.
He starts, but stops himself when he realizes that his urge is nothing but a mere projection of his unattainable desires. Something that won’t occur, and so it would be fruitless to entertain the idea even slightly.
Hesitantly, he gradually lets go of his hold on Kojiro’s face.
The warmth in his hand is gone, instantly replaced by the cold evening air. It should be the right thing to do, but it feels wrong in his heart. He gazes back at Kojiro once more, still sleeping soundly as ever.
A surge of emotions begins flowing through him.
This is Kojiro. Kojiro, his rival. Kojiro, the one who never misses a beat when it comes to arguing back with him. Kojiro, the one who stays after hours at his restaurant waiting for Kaoru’s arrival. Kojiro, the one who’s been with him since kindergarten. Kojiro, his best friend. Kojiro, the most important person in his life. Kojiro, Kojiro, Kojiro.
Quickly, before he can change his mind and leave, he leans in and places a kiss on Kojiro’s cheek.
It’s a quick peck, nothing more than that. However, the feeling lingers on his lips, and his cheeks turn a bright red.
Kaoru scans Kojiro’s face, unbothered and still the same as before. But Kaoru, on the other hand, is largely affected by his small actions.
Kaoru just kissed Kojiro. Sure, it was on the cheek and it probably didn’t even last a second. But still, he did that.
As the gravity of his actions hit his mind all at once, Kaoru’s body springs up and he turns away immediately to escape the situation, his feelings, and the vulnerability of it all. Leaving his fantasy before it consumes him.
“Wait.”
Kaoru comes to a complete halt when he feels a hand grasp his wrist.
Shit.
He’s screwed. Kaoru’s mind starts scouring through a library of excuses that he could utilize for this predicament, but there’s too much and too little of everything in his mind that only ends up overwhelming him. His mind draws a blank, but that doesn’t last long before his weight is suddenly pulled down from his arm, and now he’s lying down side by side on the couch with Kojiro.
Beyond the panic and confusion that circulates Kaoru, Kaoru is fixated on the physical sensation of Kojiro’s body practically glued beside him. Kojiro's strong arms wrap around him tightly with no intention of letting go.
Kaoru looks up to find Kojiro’s eyes closed, but sporting a grin on his face as he inhales deeply from his nose. Kaoru stares at Kojiro for a few seconds before realizing that he has to make sense of what is exactly happening right now.
“K-Kojiro, I-”
“Why did you wait till I was asleep to do that?” Kojiro abruptly interrupts, though his tone comes out slurred, gently in a low, sleepy grumble. He shifts his body ever so slightly so that their bodies are glued together even more than they possibly could be.
“W-What?” Kaoru struggles his way out of Kojiro’s embrace. His attempts are futile and he doesn’t even come close to moving them, given the obnoxiously strong and colossal body mass the man carries. “Kojiro, wait-”
“It’s not fair.” Kojiro pouts with his eyes still closed. “I wanted to be fully awake when you did that.”
Kaoru gawks at his face. He can’t believe this.
Kojiro wanted it?
He wanted Kaoru to kiss him? He wanted… Kaoru?
Kojiro’s eyes slowly open and he smiles warmly upon seeing Kaoru. He leans in and kisses Kaoru’s forehead.
“Now we’re even.” He says with a soft boyish grin, voice still a bit rough on the edges.
Kaoru gapes openly at him, trying to absorb everything all at once.
“Kaoru? Are you gonna say anything or you’re just gonna stare at me forever?”
Kaoru answers by staring at him a bit longer. Then, he gives him a real answer.
“I hate you.”
Kojiro raises an eyebrow, but his wide grin remains. “Why’d you kiss me first then?”
He smiles, looking at Kaoru with an expression that Kaoru recalls Kojiro directing to him many times before but could never discern what it meant. Now that this is happening, he might have a slight idea as to what it could mean.
Kaoru’s cheeks start to tint red. “I— um, I was— wait, you were awake this whole time?”
“Half asleep, until you were touching my face, and then I was completely awake.”
“And you said you wanted to be awake when I did that? But you were already awake?!”
“Well, I wanted to be awake and aware. How was I supposed to plan for your sudden kiss attack?”
“I didn't– I mean– don’t call it–”
“You didn’t poke my face a few times before gently caressing it and finally planting a kiss? That wasn’t you?” Kojiro teases.
“I’m seriously going to kill you.” Kaoru scowls with a full-blown blush. He attempts to push Kojiro off, but he doesn't budge to his avail.
“And I’m gonna hold you closer so you don’t do any of that.” Kojiro grins before squeezing Kaoru once in his arms.
“You’re gonna crush me, musclehead.”
“I like you.” Kojiro says out of nowhere.
“W-What?”
It’s Kojiro who starts to get nervous now.
“I… I don’t know, I just… I wanted to do that for a while and when you did it, it made me really happy, and… I really, really like you, Kaoru.”
Kojiro begins to blush, and how dare he, Kaoru thinks, when he’s the one that started saying all this sappy shit out of nowhere in the cutest way possible.
An uneasy pair of eyes gaze longingly at Kaoru. It continues gazing, unwavering, despite being worried about what's to come.
Kaoru studies Kojiro’s face bit by bit as he did earlier.
With Kojiro’s defenses gone, Kaoru finally manages to at least slip his arms out from Kojiro’s hold. His hands cup Kojiro’s face once more, and a corner of Kaoru’s lips lift upward ever so slightly, so subtly displaying that Kojiro has to be as close as he is for it to be noticed.
Kaoru smiles wide. “I really, really, hate you.”
He brings Kojiro’s face towards him, lips meeting together.
Kojiro’s eyes grow big at the sudden contact. When he fully processes the action, he deepens the kiss further.
When they both pull away to breathe, they soon find each other again, kissing each other steadily and lovingly.
After a few moments, they break it off and they pull back to look at the other person. Kaoru’s hand is still on Kojiro’s face, but on top of his hand is Kojiro’s hand holding on to him. Kojiro’s eyes are still unwavering, gaping at Kaoru like he means the world to him.
A soft chuckle escapes through Kaoru. His thumb moves back and forth on Kojiro’s face, and Kojiro leans into the touch where he accidentally bumps his nose with Kaoru's.
They both match airy laughs at the same time, with Kojiro going back for another peck.
“Okay, next time, make sure I’m definitely awake when you kiss me again.”