Archive of Our Own

Rosaria doesn't understand the point of it, she can’t comprehend why it's her they ask this for, not someone else. Of all people, Rosaria is not one for responsibility, nor is she one for commitment.

"It's not a taxing job, Rosaria. I'll admit, it's not easy, but I certainly know you're someone with a strong head-", The fellow sister bows her head in sincerity, "And...Loyalty. Somewhat."

Rosaria can only scoff at the comment. It's a compliment, but a backhanded one. One expected of fellow Sister Victoria.

"Rosaria, please. I have no other options-", She seemed defeated and all Rosaria can do is sigh, knowing she's dragging it on longer than it needs to be.

"So all these things you claim me to be don't matter then, do they? If I'm the last resort?", Rosaria interjected, hand raising to allow herself some sort of talking space. She leaves what she says simmer, but not for too long. Rosaria hates tip-toeing around the point and wasting time, "Regardless, I never said I wouldn't."

Sister Victoria's face seems to light up unexpectedly, but she doesn't allow herself to accept such a blessing. It seems like a miracle, if anything. Rosaria is anything but compliant. She doesn't like taking orders- not that it is one. Rather, it's a favour.

"I'm just stating fact," Rosaria hums, lowering her hand and crossing her arms, "Surely no one would really know that there's no one on the other side of the booth."

As expected. Sister Victoria can only frown, believing Rosaria is attempting to worm her way out of responsibility again. Whatever it is, regardless of the task, Rosaria hates the restrictions she gets from church. That's why she runs far from it whenever she can. But, regardless, Rosaria hasn't found herself running away yet.

"Please," She begs, "I know you don't like me-"

Rosaria wants to scoff, because if it isn't obvious, she has a disdain for those that rat her out. She hates being named and shamed, even if, by now, she's toughened up and she's used to it.

"And I could list several reasons why you even owe this to me-"

Rosaria rolls her eyes at her entitlement, "I do not owe any Sister here a thing," She whipped her head away, "And if I did, I'd be working on remuneration. Not talking to you, here," Rosaria corrects. She doesn't need to explain herself, she knows that, but she figures she should set the record straight once again.

It's easy for people to get misled.

Sister Victoria, or as Rosaria shortens it to in her mind, Vic, pierces her dagger-like gaze at her in annoyance.

"I'm not here for debate."

Rosaria remains silent, preferring to curse her out in her mind. The arguments aren't worth it.

"Really, I have no choice," Victoria stares towards her feet, a sign that she's already mentally given up on Rosaria. She can only sigh at such a thought. If only she would, "And you're the only one who can offer confessional services after hours. You have no true commitments."

Rosaria's nose scrunched up, her fist curling. It's valient of her to assume that. Yet, Rosaria knows it's the only name she has for herself. The Sisters see her as lackadaisical, she can only presume the rest of Mondstadt views her in the same light. She'd be frustrated, but she can't truly be angry, because she understands that she's a nuisance to Mondstadt as much as it is to her.

Still, that doesn't mean there's no benefits.

Such a statement is vice versa.

"I'll do it," Rosaria agrees, although it's just to get her off her back, "But don't push your luck," Rosaria hates doing favours, always has. She disliked doing them, asking for them, the simple concept of a 'favour' meant reliance, trust; yet that derives from an area of instability and weakness - so it's not trust, nor is the aforementioned 'reliance' willing. It's depending - due to lack of independence.

Here, Sister Victoria is, despite her support network, begging Rosaria for a favour. It's not just choir practice this time though, but it might as well had been.

"Rosaria, please take it seriously-", She ghosted her hand over Rosaria's shoulder. Rosaria flinched at the threat.

"I don't need you to belittle me," Rosaria practically hisses, inching away from the contact, "I get it. It's a big deal. I get it. It's important-", Rosaria sighs heavily, a hand over her forehead, "Now, anything else? I'm not up for another lecture."

Rosaria knows beloved Sister Victoria has no choice but to rely on her and, albeit reluctant, Victoria has no other alternative. She can only dread what might come of leaving Rosaria in charge of the confessional.

On one end, Rosaria isn't the type to gossip. At least, that's what Mondstadt knows. Mondstadt doesn't know much about her, though. Sister Victoria is nothing short of the rest of them. She wishes to grasp Rosaria's hands, bless her with Barbatos' holy force, in hopes that perhaps she'll take some responsibility in her life.

If only anyone knew.

Still, Rosaria didn't need to prove herself.

Maybe years ago, she would have cared what everyone thought - but now? She's grown past that. She's grown past all those pitiful gazes and judgmental looks. No one stands high enough to judge Rosaria, nor does she stand high enough to judge them. She is simply equal, even if Mondstadt doesn't see her as such.

Rosaria does what she has to do.

Perhaps that's why she shows up to her new line of work that week.

Yeah. She hadn't exactly waken up at the crack of dawn, but she never did and to expect her to change upon request was idiotic.

She sipped her wine that morning, ruminating. Perhaps this would allow her to gather some useful Intel, although, it would most likely just simply be a waste of time.

She flicked through the array of papers on her table that morning, pretending to be a concerned business woman. It was a new day. She could amuse herself in her own company and play pretend.

The newspaper; the one that comes every week. It's got Jean on the front page today. Rosaria can only scoff at such a sight. She wonders how Jean manages to wake up every morning with such responsibility. She knew she couldn't. Even if Rosaria does her own thing, in hindsight, it'll never be enough - nor would it even compare to what a woman like Jean does. Rosaria could never have such an impact, such a diverse and flexible way of dealing with anyone and everyone.

However, Rosaria is content with that. She knows Jean is destined to be a miracle worker. She, on the other hand, is not.

She flips the page, pretending she cares with a light hearted scoff. She shakes her hand, a slight shiver rolling through her body, leaving her hands feeling lumpy and weighted upon the sight of a sketch. She figures it's Albedo's. The caption, she only has to skim. She knows it's yet again a sighting of the Darknight Hero. Rosaria, again, scoffs. Celebrity gossip is amusing. If only they knew.

She turns the paper. It's a dating advice column this time, supposedly from multiple 'reliable' sources. Whoever those sources were, she was almost certain she hadn't met them, because she hasn't seen someone in a comfortable relationship ever. That just reminds her of the expectations. She ruminated on relationships after that, the gross idea of negligently allowing yourself to fall in love and tie yourself down. It's a feeling she can't bear to think about for long, for if it were to ponder any longer, she'd probably throw up her breakfast wine.

She flipped through various pages, finding the newspaper just as boring as the last. It usually gives her the worst intel, hence why she only reads it occasionally, and never has relied on it solely for actual insight. She notices a page including Barbara and decides that's it, she's done for the day. She'd rather recite prayers and hymns than listen to how the news adores Barbara. Rosaria doesn't care about her fans, how much people love and adore her is not of interest to her. She frowns at the sight, knowing she hasn’t seen a newspaper in Mondstadt fail not to mention Barbara's name at least once a week. She closes the page. She prefers not to waste her time listening to praise.

She got up that day, head already set on finishing it. She wasn't pleased that she'd have to devote her time to something so monotonous. That's one of the reasons she avoided church in the first place.

After heading to the confession booth with a heavy sigh, she flipped the sign that read 'all is welcome', rubbing her eyes tiredly before entering the cooped up room. To call it a room seemed gracious when really, it was a small box, much alike a wooden cell.

Rosaria knocked the wood with her finger, sitting in the solid, stiff chair before crossing her legs. She brushed her thumb along the small wooden table that covered her lap. What was there a table for anyway? To make notes? Rosaria mused at the idea of Victoria having several pages of ‘gossip’ on the low-lives that entered here.

Imagine.

She tapped her fingers lightly over the table, frowning at the realization she would have to sit here for…Well. The whole day.

Was she expected to sit here all day? Perhaps this was some patience test. Well, Rosaria could only pray that someone interesting would come in and tell her something…Entertaining. Although, she doubted it. Mondstadt’s people were all fairly local and, typically, how much drama can stem from a community so tight knit? Not much from the average penitent, that she was almost certain of.

It was at that moment, an invasive ‘ping’ rumbled through the church. It was midday. Rosaria’s lips flattened, covering her ears in annoyance. That thing was awfully loud.

Perhaps everything was that loud to her. She was easily irritated these days. Perhaps her patience was cut short after all these years.

Amidst her thoughts, her breath hitches upon the realisation that someone else is on the other side of the confessional. For a moment, Rosaria can’t function. She feels uncomfortable, glued to her seat. She couldn’t exactly move; not that she wished to, but regardless.

“May Barbatos bless thee and those alike, in harmony and peace, I beg thee, do hear me out-”

Rosaria’s face deadpans, despite being by herself. This was going to be long.

She really wished she could’ve just told the women on the other end there was really no need and the Gods, or whoever they wished to speak to, would prefer if they just hurried up and got along with it.

“Spare me my troubles, hold no ill will against me, as I do for thee; change the winds as much as you can for me.”

Surely, the Gods would agree. This just seemed unnecessary.

Was this…A common thing? Or was the woman on the other end just…Making this up?

Perhaps this was a regular or something. Rosaria had no intel regarding such prayers. She knew the odd line, with a few words missing or replaced, but that was as much information as she could retain. Rosaria had difficulty listening to things that truly didn’t interest her.

The woman sighed heavily and Rosaria raised her eyebrows towards the sound expectantly. She sure was taking her time, whoever it was.

She was sure that voice was familiar.

“...I did it again.”

Rosaria folded her arms over the table, a pensive expression over her face. This woman was being cryptic…at a confessional. What was she here for? To entice the Sisters to follow after her for those secrets?

Rosaria knew who that reminded her of.

“I really couldn’t help myself-”, The woman let out a hefty sigh, a sound of a bag zipping open shortly afterwards, “I-I just…Saw it and-”, The woman paused.

Rosaria waited in anticipation. Did she really need to be here? Surely, it would have suited these people better if she just…Weren’t to hear this. It felt almost invasive. Sure, Rosaria was no innocent creature, she had been a spy to those she held suspect on countless occasions - but this just felt…inappropriate.

“I know I really shouldn’t have-”, The woman repeated, a whine escaping her, “But I can’t help myself. It was so pretty- and-”

Rosaria let out a small hum in interest. A potential criminal, perhaps? That would have been interesting. Best part about confessionals were, well, they were completely bound by secrecy. So…Rosaria didn’t have to act. She only had to listen.

Even if it was a bit monotonous.

“I had to buy it!”

Rosaria frowns. Never mind.

“It was half price- and when I see something like that I just-”, The woman sighed again, “How can you turn that down?”

Rosaria wanted to tell her that self indulgence was fine. Just so she could leave.

But that ruins the whole privacy part of a confessional.

Even if Rosaria isn’t one to play by the rules too meticulously, she came to the confessional today for her job and a job done by her was a job well done.

“I just don’t know what’s wrong with me,” There was a noise on the other side of the confessional booth, to which Rosaria can only assume she’s placed her hands on the table.

“I need something in my life to make me happy- Something to look forward to-”

Rosaria wonders how old this woman is. She sounds so expecting of life. She sounds relatively young, but no younger than Rosaria herself.

“I just…”, The woman paused, “If you could just…Give me my husband back. Please. I promise you, I’ll stop- I-I’ll do anything-”

Rosaria’s face deadpans again. This certainly feels inappropriate now and bizarrely intimate- yet, she doesn’t know this woman’s name. She wonders who in Mondstadt has lost their partners.

“I just want him back,” The woman sobs, although she’s not crying. Her voice sounds steady still but she’s on the brink of something chronic, “He never comes home anymore. At all. I never see him. I just-”

Rosaria wants to rip her hair out. This story-telling way she has while going about her ‘confessions’ - It’s unnerving. She can barely understand who this woman is and what exactly is her problem.

Not that it matters. Technically, she doesn’t need to know.

Still, that doesn’t prevail such intrigue for the blank spaces to be filled.

“Is it selfish of me?”, The woman sobs yet again, “Is it?”, Now, Rosaria is certain, the woman is about to cry, “I see him sometimes, whenever I wake up and go to work. I see him outside the Tavern-”

Rosaria’s lips part at the thought. A married man that drinks? Lucky guy, some may say.

“I ask him and-”, The woman’s voice cracks, “H-He always tells me-”, She lets out a scoff, almost as if she’s trying to comfort herself, “Eury, please, can we talk about this later?”

Oh. So this was Eury.

Now, everything started to shift into place and Rosaria finally could gain somewhat of a perspective. This was the kleptomaniac wife to the drunkard Nimrod.

Well, that’s what Rosaria always joked about. She knew she stood in no place to judge her actions, whether her suspicions of her were true or not, Rosaria had done far worse - granted, such behaviour was forced.

Rosaria wasn’t familiar with her upbringing. She isn’t one to judge.

“And I just don’t understand what I’ve done wrong,” Eury lets out a small sniffle, “Is it a sign? Is it punishment?”

Rosaria wishes she could just tell her it wasn’t. Not that she cared, of course, but such irrational thinking was so common. She wondered why.

“I’ve been so faithful to everyone in my life - to the Gods, my friends, my family…Especially my husband-”

The fact that she specified the Gods first only fueled her reverence for such a concept. Religion, as she seen it, was an escape - but by the looks of it, this wasn’t escapism.

It seemed like next level delusion.

“I’m going to try my best to keep my savings up,” Eury let out another scoff, trying to keep herself in good spirits, “I know, I know- I said that last time, didn’t I?”

It almost sounds like she’s talking to someone and not just talking to (what Rosaria would label) herself. She sounds among a conversation with a friend and, realistically, such a way of talking reminds Rosaria of sentimental discomforts.

“But, I’m really going to try. I mean it this time. I’m going to save up - we’ll go on holiday to Liyue and I’ll show him the wonders of life that aren’t just drinks and…Whatever he does other than coming home to me.”

Rosaria’s heart twists at such a thing. She can only see Eury as delusional after such a confession. It causes her heart to ache in ways which, although don’t remain physically, it doesn’t leave her mentally.

She isn’t one to comfort, nor is she one to encourage those to confide, but hearing such a thing just makes Rosaria want to break the news to her.

It isn’t her, it’s her husband.

Rosaria shakes it off, knowing she’ll have to deal with potentially worse stories. She’s experienced worse first hand anyway. This stuff shouldn’t affect her, or at least, that’s what she tells herself.. She scrunches her fists in annoyance, although it’s nothing tense.

She’s simply thinking.

Thinking about how that poor woman deludes herself because her idiot husband can’t get a grip. Even when, surely, Rosaria is aware there’s two sides to a coin - she believes it’s unfair that no one has even convinced Eury of her innocence. Surely, she isn’t to blame.

Rosaria lets out a heavy sigh - She’s thinking far too much about this. She doesn’t even know Eury or Nimrod well. To think she’s suddenly so passionate now, it makes her annoyed.

That’s not who she is. She doesn’t care, she never has. She’s set on the idea - that is who Rosaria is. She is careless, ruthless and nothing but lazy and idle.

Or maybe that’s just how the rest of Mondstadt sees her.

Regardless. She has somewhat of an image to uphold, even if it’s a bad one.

It’s so tiring. That’s all Rosaria can pinpoint. Still, she won’t show an ounce of respect to Sister Victoria after knowing this is her weekly schedule, but still, she can somewhat understand now why Victoria is always so moody.

Such a comment about her lit the peak of hypocrisy and Rosaria is far too aware.
Even still, she’s proud to get through a day like that. It’s been heavy. All she can think about is a drink - oh, and a good smoke. She could definitely use one.

Searching through her thigh strap for her cigarette, she hears someone on the other end enter the confessional. Rosaria’s muscles tense in annoyance - had they not seen the sign? Confessions were closed.

She literally just changed the sign.

Maybe she should tell them, even if that does go against the privacy thing, she can make up some excuse. Perhaps she was…Passing by.

A Sister in the church doesn’t sound so otherworldly, surely.

She stands, deciding she’s taken enough of everyone’s stress today. The poor soul on the end would have to find some other victim to vent to.

“Okay, so, I know I don’t come here often-”

Rosaria pauses.

“Probably should have come bearing gifts or something.”

Rosaria sits. Why in all of Mondstadt is Kaeya in a confession booth? Maybe he’d caught wind of her being here.

After all, he had just made a joke about bearing gifts.

But she can’t be certain. So, she can’t reveal anything yet. She just hopes that, if he had caught wind of such knowledge, it was through an error that wasn’t on her end.

“Not amused?”

He sounds like he’s looking for a response, but again, Rosaria doesn’t break her vow.

“Fair enough. It was a bad one.”

Rosaria really wants to tell him it is.

“Anyway,” Kaeya stalls after that, his fingers rhythmically tapping on the wooden confession booth, “Confession booths are such a bizarre thing.”

She wants to hit him. With care, somewhat, but still. What is he here for? To waste the Gods’ time? To shit talk them?

“I never really believed in them but…First time for everything, I suppose. What better time than out of hours?”, Kaeya chuckles, in character, which only causes Rosaria to slump back.

If everyone here wasted her time, Kaeya was going to be the one to take the cake. He really was dragging this out.

“I’m supposed to be in the Tavern but,” Kaeya sighs, a small knock of wood vibrating through to Rosaria’s booth. He must have leaned his head on the wall a bit too harshly.

“Diluc keeps giving me that look, you know. The ‘where’s this dog’s owner?’ look.”

Rosaria hates the fact that she grins at the idea of that. She’s thankful there’s a wall between them. At least she doesn’t have to give him the satisfaction.

“I thought perhaps I could talk to someone,” Kaeya sighed, “But everyone there didn’t seem in the mood and I’m not going to bother them.”

That’s…the first self-aware comment to ever slip from Kaeya’s mouth. That was weird.

Maybe he lies, even in confessionals.

That’s not exactly pure of him.

“I thought maybe I could try and talk to Diluc.”

Rosaria knows how that one goes.

“He just gives me that look,” Kaeya chuckles yet again and Rosaria has to remind herself that Kaeya supposedly believes he’s speaking to himself.

“I left, obviously. I guess even sometimes I can’t deal with his face,” Kaeya hummed, “The feeling is mutual, at times, hm? Maybe not in the same way though.”

Rosaria wants to let out a heavy sigh, but only allows a small one to escape. She really doesn’t want to listen to this. She’s heard this before, granted, he always sounded far more intoxicated, but regardless.

Rosaria doesn’t want to hear him hurt. That, and she hates it when he repeats himself - which, annoyingly, can be often. Especially when drunk.

“I just don’t know what happened,” Kaeya paused, “Well, okay, I do,” Kaeya let out a defeated sound, “But it feels uncanny, I guess.”

Rosaria wonders how much of her time he’s planning to take. She could really do with a cigarette.

“I wonder if he gets…You know. Lonely,” Kaeya hums, “I mean-”, Kaeya taps his fingers against the wooden table over his lap, “I’m not lonely. I have a lot of people around me-”

Rosaria muses in the fact that he’s so defensive, even to himself.

“But he has…Well. No one,” Kaeya taps his fingers slower, “Well, I suppose he has those that work for him but…You know Diluc. He doesn’t just warm up to people and work is work. He’s got that mindset - The correct working environment.”

Rosaria leans back, staring at her gloves. Maybe she could afford to bite her nails. Just to give her something to bide the time Kaeya was carelessly taking.

“I don’t know where he gets it from, really. His father wasn’t the same, so I don’t get it. He’s so strict,” Kaeya scoffs, “His father was a bit strict, I suppose.”

Rosaria hums at that. All she can think about is the use of his father. Rosaria finds herself almost envious for a moment. Diluc had a father - a responsible one - even if he did lose him fast.

Kaeya on the other hand.

“I don’t know, maybe that’s just…A psychological thing. There’s probably some sort of explanation,” Kaeya hums lowly, “Albedo’s like that. He enjoys his own company. Diluc’s the same.”

Rosaria sighs.

“Rosaria too, actually,” Kaeya’s fingers stop tapping for a moment, “Yet she copes with me. Somehow.”

Rosaria nods, knowing that’s true. Although, a part of her is undeniably sparked at such a confession. She doesn’t let it touch her, because it shouldn’t. So, it won’t.

“Maybe she just wants something from me,” Kaeya pauses before using both hands this time, resuming to his careless tapping on the table to distract himself, “I don’t know what though. She knows most things, I think.”

Rosaria wants to shake him and remind him that he’s digressing. This is about Diluc, not her.

“I can’t remember most things I’ve told her. Maybe that’s for the best, actually,” Kaeya chuckles, pausing before continuing, “I’m really careless around her. I shouldn’t be, I know.”

He sounds like he’s scolding himself.

“I probably should have better self restraint,” Kaeya hums, “She’s a good person though. I don’t see why people dislike her-”, Kaeya pauses, “Well, I mean-”

Rosaria smirks at his little monologue.

“I can trust her with everything, anyway,” Kaeya’s hands pause again, “Never going to say that though. Imagine her face if I did.”

Rosaria’s smirk drops, feeling invaded. Kaeya may as well have infiltrated her thoughts years ago with how well he knew her mannerisms.

Still, she could say the same vice versa.

She knew that, right now, Kaeya was hunched over, his arms slightly crossed over one another and his head was lowered downwards.

“I won’t do that though, I know better than that, don’t worry,” Kaeya chuckles, “I do, really,” Kaeya lets out an empty scoff, shuffling in his seat, “What? I mean it.”

Rosaria feels uncomfortable at how openly he’s communicating to himself, especially now the topic at hand is her.

“I don’t want to lose her interest,” Kaeya admits. That’s the first actual confession that’s left his lips since entering, “I think, if I were fully honest, she’d probably go.”

Rosaria wonders why in all of Teyvat, he’s choosing to talk about her in…A confession booth. She’d feel humiliated doing such a thing. That was like her talking about Kaeya in his office that’s essentially desolate most of the time. It’s desolate - sure - but it’s his office.

“I wouldn’t blame her,” Kaeya nodded, “But, you know, I can keep quiet. It’s kind of the only thing I’m good at.”

It’s weird to hear Kaeya not acting so boastful or even modest. Now, he’s just being self-deprecating.

It’s not a typical look for Kaeya.

“Maybe that’s why I won’t even divulge so deeply here,” Kaeya begins to tap his hands with what Rosaria can only assume to be anxiety.

“Either way. Diluc,” Kaeya brings himself back to the topic at hand, “I just hope he’s not lonely,” Kaeya hummed lowly, “I want to befriend him. I know it’s stupid. I know he doesn’t seem…Up for that.”

Rosaria scoffed quietly. That was an understatement.

“But, I don’t know. Maybe persistence is key or something?”, Kaeya brought a hand to his head, “You either succeed or die trying, so.”

Rosaria can admire that, at least. He’s oddly determined.

Even if he is playing a losing game.

“One thing though-”, Kaeya perks up, “Diluc did give Eula a drink-”, Kaeya pauses to add some form of anticipation. Rosaria isn’t sure why. As far as he’s concerned, he’s talking to himself.

“I don’t think she paid either,” Kaeya seemed almost excited, “Maybe they’re friends or something.”

Rosaria leans her head on her hand. Typical of Kaeya to observe, sticking his nose where it wasn’t wanted.

Private affairs being his personal favourite.

“She seems well mannered,” Kaeya nods, “A lot like Diluc. He values the whole traditional thing.”

Rosaria wonders why he cares this much. She figures he’s bored. He’s unwillingly lonely. What else is a poor soul to do?

“Amber seems to see him nowadays too,” Kaeya added, “Even after all this time, they talk.”

Rosaria hums, almost as if she’s responding to him. She’d usually do that when he vented to her at Archons know what hours.

“I should probably try to…Talk with Amber,” Kaeya groaned, “It’s hard though. I just have this incessant urge to fuck everything up.”

Rosaria’s eyes widen at such a 360. That. That was a revelation.

“She’s just not my type of person,” Kaeya hummed lowly, “...’suppose I’m not hers either,” Kaeya chuckled, although, he sounded flat, “It’s hard accommodating to everyone. Weird how I can’t even bring myself to accommodate to…Well. The most probable to befriend.”

Rosaria deadpans.

“That was so Albedo of me,” Kaeya comments.

That earns a scoff from Rosaria.

“Still,” Kaeya hums, “Guess it doesn’t matter. We do what we have to.”

Rosaria nods, responding despite the fact her acknowledgement will go unbeknownst.

“...It would be nice though. To hear from someone about Diluc.”

Rosaria wishes she could just tell him to stop focusing on such a thing, but she’s more than aware it’s not easy for him. He sees him daily. He has for years. Only now, it wasn’t in the same way.

“I still go for walks around the winery in hopes that I’ll find something out.”

Rosaria figures this is a confession booth and such information should be swatted away like any other confession she’s heard today.

But, she knows she’ll remember that.

She’ll recall all the times he’s mentioned casually being there as no longer casual - He’s there with intent.

“I find crystal flies there all the time,” Kaeya pauses, shifting yet again, “I remember being so afraid of them when I was younger. It’s funny now, looking back on it.”

Rosaria believes she knows the tale he’s about to tell.

“I remember Diluc catching one. I caught one too,” Kaeya hums, “And Archons was I horrified to see that I’d murdered the poor little thing.”

Rosaria wonders why he phrases it so dramatically. She figured he was just like that and accepted his flaw mid-moment. He liked to make things sound over the top. It was more amusing.

“I still remember being hit in the eye with the little core,” Kaeya pressed a hand over his eye, “Could’ve blinded me,” Kaeya chuckled jokingly.

Rosaria doesn’t recognise this part of the tale.

“I cried so much,” Kaeya admitted, “I always cried when I was younger, though. At the smallest things.”

Rosaria remembers the time Kaeya told her he never cried when he was younger. She’s always taken his words lightly and with a grain of salt, yet, somehow, it’s caught her off guard.

That was such a stupid lie.

“Diluc hardly ever cried,” He added, “Maybe when food didn’t arrive on time, but that was it.”

Rosaria's lips perked slightly, but faltered. It was an uncomfortable moment.

"I remember he laughed at first," Kaeya hummed, "Because I cried so much. He didn't take me seriously."

Rosaria wondered where he was going with this, if anywhere.

"I think he's still like that," Rosaria could hear the hint of a forced smile behind that, "I think he takes me being around as a given."

Rosaria leaned forward, beginning to catch his line of thought.

"I don't know," Kaeya shrugged, "I'd leave but," Kaeya paused. He thought about it, "Well. One day I'll inevitably leave anyway."

That was new. Kaeya was rarely this dark - at least, not with such candidness.

"And I won't be around to see whether what he says is true," Kaeya sighed heavily, head in hand, "So, for now, I'm his annoyance. For as long as I may be fit."

Rosaria wondered if this was some sort of sporadic thought or just something underlying he'd spared her the guilt of knowing. Either way, Rosaria worried.

Kaeya remained silent for a while before letting a chuckle escape him.

"I really do talk too much."

You do, Rosaria thinks to herself, although smiling at the thought. He's a little chatterbox at times. It's endearing, even if it does irritate her.

"Sorry about that."

Rosaria’s feelings turn sour. Why was he apologising? He was, as far as he was concerned, alone. She wondered for a moment if Kaeya was joking. Perhaps he'd known her cover all along. That's why he 'sung her praises'.

"I won't waste anymore of your time," Kaeya nod his head, thinking to himself quietly before simply standing up, "Thanks," He thanked the booth sincerely, tapping the table with candid fondness and leaving shortly afterwards.

That was something.

Rosaria hadn't expected the job to be so investing. It drained her, at times. Not every confession was to the point and certainly not as interesting as the last. However, Rosaria got accustomed to it. She kept to her schedule, weirdly so. She didn’t expect herself to be so committed.

She told herself it was primarily because she had to and simply nod in confirmation whenever the question would reappear in her brain. She was doing this because she had no other choice - or, every other choice carried too much inconvenience.

So, she went to work.

She took the odd day off, allowing herself the leniency she always had.

Although, she wondered if that meant more time for Kaeya. Perhaps he’d make use of the ‘currently out of use’ sign, confessing his ‘sins’ to what he continued to believe was himself.

She had been in and out of the confessional in her first week. The day after Kaeya came, she wondered if he’d come the day after. She waited outside the church that night, wondering if she’d catch sight of him, but she never did. So, she simply assumed it was a spur of the moment thing. Whatever Kaeya had done was most likely a sporadic decision and one he was unlikely to make again.

Rosaria didn’t have the energy in her to wait for Kaeya every night. She had places to be, whether that was dealing with her own issues of the solidarity of her own bed - She couldn’t busy herself with a friend’s business. If Kaeya needed her, he’d ask. Whether or not he wished to speak to himself in the confession booth was none of her business.

But, if Rosaria and Kaeya had something in common, one of the notable similarities was their internal strive for knowledge and their utter disregard for anything that didn’t pique their interests. Perhaps it was wrong, but Rosaria didn’t pride herself on a perfect moral compass. She knew that prying into areas she shouldn’t wasn’t right, even if it was concerning someone like Kaeya, a man of which had done the exact same to essentially anyone that caught his eye.

In other words, both of them were inadvertently quite selfish. Somewhat.

Again, Rosaria wasn’t one to pride herself on such morality. She was interested, but her interest left soon after she reminded herself of the type of person Kaeya was. He would have gloated in the fact that she cared over such a thing and to let him find that out was…Not a viable option.

Rosaria even contemplated asking him several nights after but the risk was not worth it. Not at all. Kaeya might even know already that she was scheduled to take care of the booth in Sister Victoria’s absence and what then? He wasn’t slow. He could connect dots easily.

So, she played it safe. Even if seeing him after such a confession was different. She could bear the discomfort. It would leave, for sure.

She told herself that when she saw him next, sitting in the bar all by his lonesome. She used to think it was amusing, but upon remembering his words in the back of her head, she wonders if it’s as funny as she thinks.

She gazed over at Diluc, who hardly pays notice to Kaeya, yet she catches him glaring at Kaeya with a face that spoke something of virulence.

“Diluc keeps giving me that look, you know. The ‘Where's this dog’s owner?’ look.”

Rosaria remembers those words as she enters, noting the atmosphere before her presence is even acknowledged. Kaeya’s facing away from Diluc, so he can’t even see that look he’s giving him. Rosaria wonders if he’s always been doing that, or whether Kaeya simply keeps his other eye hidden under the flock of hair on the back of his head.

She notes that Kaeya is by himself and typically she does catch him by himself. Sometimes, he is with someone, but he does often look out of place. She never walked in on Kaeya sitting beside someone. He was always on his feet, almost like he was preparing to hurry off at any second.

Kaeya’s words ring in her head, seconds before he realises her presence:“But everyone there didn’t seem in the mood and I’m not going to bother them.”

Rosaria flinches at the sight of Kaeya perking up. That type of behaviour used to be normal, now it just seems more fictitious than usual. She can read him well, she always has. She knew such a face was a front, but having heard everything before, it hits her in other places. She’s not one for such intimate talks.

“I almost feared I wouldn’t have the pleasure of seeing you this week,” Kaeya joked, a grin shoved over his face. His cheeks are tugged, smiling in a way that only earns a scoff from Rosaria. She’s not charmed by his features, even if they are endearing, they’re just as irritating.

“Don’t make me reconsider,” She teases back, her arms folding in her typical guarded position. Kaeya’s staring at her like he always does, giving her a softness that he doesn’t seem to replicate with everyone else. Rosaria doesn’t reciprocate.

Her expression hardens, her face turning away from him and landing on Diluc.

“You’ve just arrived and you’re already threatening to leave me,” Kaeya chuckles, lifting his drink, “Good to know you haven’t changed in the last week.”

Rosaria wants to brush off his joke and even if she doesn’t feel guilty for making such a joke, it leaves her with a feeling of frustration. She doesn’t look at him still, preferring to tense her overly curled fists as she finds the right words to respond. It takes her longer than usual.

“You could just say you missed me,” She responds with the phrase, leaving Kaeya to open his mouth, but shut it soon after. She keeps an eye on his reaction, even through her peripheral vision.

Kaeya hides his face with his drink before scoffing and finally nodding after his silence, “Alright,” Kaeya lowered his drink, “I missed you.”

Rosaria turns her head to him, giving him a salt-ridden smile, “How sweet,” She adds sarcastically, before her face flattens. It’s somewhat terrifying to see the diversity of her expression but, regardless of whatever expression she pulls, there’s never content behind her gaze. Kaeya noted that years ago.

“I mean it,” Kaeya adds, although he sounds like he doesn’t believe himself. Rosaria can only swat her hand in his direction, her head leaving his general direction without another word. She doesn’t check the face he gives her, partially because she’s afraid of how meticulously she’ll allow herself to read it.

She gives Diluc a look and once he locks eyes with her, she signs something, to which Diluc nods, holding up two fingers.

By the time she looks back at Kaeya, he’s already downed his drink. She doesn’t want to imagine how full that mug was when she entered, but she doesn’t put it past him to have had a full mug when she entered.

“How long have you been here?”, Rosaria asks him, sparking the conversation back up. Kaeya perks up at the interaction.

“Not long,” He responds, playing with his mug before glancing upwards at her, “You ought to join me. It’s been long enough since you’ve indulged me in your presence.”

Rosaria can only pray that one day he changes that uncomfortably, supposedly charming way of phrasing things. Too bad praying isn’t on her to-do list any time soon.

“You know,” Rosaria gazed over the chair juxtaposed to him, “Perhaps I might,” She gazed back over Kaeya, “Can’t exactly leave you here by your lonesome for a week straight.”

“How irresponsible of you to abandon me,” Kaeya, again, jokes. Rosaria stiffens, finding comfort in looking elsewhere. She doesn’t respond, rather, she leaves.

She walks to the counter where Diluc had poured her drink, collecting it with the smallest amount of talk. Diluc and Rosaria spoke to one another in non-verbal ways.

Approaching Kaeya again, she hums lowly, “Next one’s on me.”

Kaeya simply blinks, his expression letting loose and giving her the ultimate look of what she imagined was him being totally caught off guard.

“There’s no need,” Kaeya responds, straightforward for once.

“Why not?”, Rosaria raised an eyebrow, “Don’t tell me you’re about to kick up a fuss over a free drink?”

Kaeya shakes his head, a light hearted scoff falling out, “No, no, I’m not, I just-”, Kaeya pauses, seemingly speechless. Rosaria really had caught him off guard, “I’m just flattered.”

Rosaria scrunches her nose up at that. He’s making a big deal over nothing and such a response makes her feel almost defensive, “I’m buying you a drink. You’ve done it for me. It’s nothing serious.”

Kaeya still seems in his element, although Rosaria picks up on how out of place such a shy face looks on him. Even if, yes, it’s out of place, it’s bizarrely befitting - expected, even.

“Ah…I suppose so,” Kaeya hums, having his wit ripped from him in the moment. Rosaria wishes she could soak herself in the moment in all its glory. Kaeya not being pretentious was nice.

Unfortunately, that never lasted long.

“So,” Kaeya raised a brow, “Surely there must be some way I can repay you for such generosity?”

Rosaria gives him a look. It’s fed up, an underlying irritation founded under such a face, “Nothing. It’s a kind gesture. Get used to it,” The words slip out before she realises she regrets them.

“Get used to it?”, Kaeya leans over the table, shuffling as per usual, like a peacock ruffling up its feathers, “You’re so bold tonight, Sister Rosaria.”

Rosaria wants to do something to shut him up, but that energy leaves when she brings her drink to her lips. She was thankful their moments were spent in the Tavern, under the influence, or she might not have been able to cope.

“I guess I am.”

Rosaria decided to ignore whatever response Kaeya had for that. She was going to enjoy the rest of her night, without remembering the painful 'confessions' Kaeya had told her.

She'd forget one day, surely.

Rosaria stayed cooped up in the confession booth the next day. She wasn't planning to, being as she'd also done it yesterday. She enjoyed her days being interchangeable. Yet, seeing Kaeya weirdly motivated her- if that was the right word for it.

Perhaps she associated him with the booth now. Such a problem would leave, most certainly. Things get better with time. Not to mention: what Kaeya had told her wasn't anything groundbreaking, nor was it particularly heart shattering. It hurt, a little. But Rosaria can only feel so much about a tale she's heard a million times.

His confessions were nothing special. Rosaria had heard far worse. Rosaria herself had experienced far worse.

Yet, Kaeya's voice on that night - it remained.

Rosaria reminded herself: time. Time was the essential key to ease all ails.

Thinking of Kaeya so much didn't particularly ail her. It was just bothersome.

Especially now, she had related her newfound job to him. Again, as to why? She couldn't say. His story hadn't hit her that hard. She had various patients come in, discussing far heavier topics, even considering the context Kaeya had yet to regurgitate.

She heard stories of harassment, unplanned parenthood, abuse, violence - and to say it as if didn't faze her would be a lie. Yet, no one stayed in her mind like Kaeya did during confession hours.

She soon was under the impression it was all due to the simple fact of consent: Kaeya hadn't consented for anyone to listen. Rosaria was prying - even if not guilty, Kaeya came to her thoughts continuously, a reoccurring reminder that she'd broken his trust.

It was fine. Kaeya most certainly would have done the same, would he not?

Rosaria's mental monologue paused. Now she was thinking in Kaeya's mannerisms of speech. She tensed at the idea, shaking her head and glancing at the watch on the table.

Rosaria had picked it up, as there was no clock she could gaze at and, due to the space, no clock would fit in here either.

It was 8 pm.

She'd been here for a total of four hours. The confessional was less active at this time and Rosaria knew it wouldn't hurt to end early.

The people of Mondstadt were lucky she decided to even open the booth today.

Rosaria wondered if her lighter was still in use. Perhaps she could have a cigarette before she set out to roam Mondstadt.

Knock.

Or maybe not.

Rosaria huffed, sighing to herself. She'd built herself up now, wishing for a sweet puff of release - who came at such hours? It was 8 pm? Wouldn't they prefer to simply go home and repent there? Rosaria knew she would.

"May Barbatos be with me."

This was a joke. This was a joke.

He stammered, "I...I come to confess my sin. I know, a shock. What could I ever do wrong?"

Rosaria wonders if Kaeya is attempting to toy with her and has been the entire time. She isn’t sure why he’s come back, especially due to circumstances being far different. This time, for sure, Kaeya must know, the confessional was open. There was someone on the other side, listening to him. Surely he didn't actually want someone to hear him out?

"There's very few things I like to ask for-"

Although, it would make sense. He was certainly putting on more of a face since the last time. The tone in his voice indicates some form of self awareness, whereas the last time he came, there was a carelessness that casually grew as time went by. This time, however, Kaeya sounds as if he’s giving a speech.

"And I've brought myself to practice such religion, in the hopes that you will decide to bless me upon my admission and disclosure."

It’s almost like he’s auditioning for a role in a play with the way he’s talking. There was a stark difference to this confession and the previous one he had rehearsed 'alone'.

"I wish to be blessed, rather than by miracle, but by acceptance - to those in Mondstadt and in Barbatos' name shall I be cleansed for a new life."

This did not sound like Kaeya at all - but it was his voice. It was certainly him, that much was undeniable. The words he used also were fairly presumable for his vocabulary; but the way he has mashed them together - to make an utter mess of religious-sounding pleas. That was unlike him.

He sounded so genuine and even with the acknowledgement that Kaeya was a renowned (to her) fake, this religious talk from him was something new.

"I may not outwardly state such previous actions or events, in knowledge that you are aware of such grievances. I call upon Barbatos and the Archons to assist me in my path to, not just rehabilitation, but rather, true retribution."

What in the world was he talking about?

"For I believe, the only true justice may be served while those who have fallen victim to my mistreatment are handed my conquest - to restore justice, lay upon me whatever you wish-"

This was a confessional, but even in such places, Kaeya believed he served himself justice by being so vague. That was evident and, as frustrating as it was, with the way Kaeya had laid it out - perhaps it was for the best. On his behalf, anyways.

Rosaria almost wanted to scribble all of this down. Usually, she paid no mind to Kaeya's bizarre cryptic language. It was supposed to be a patent element in favour of his charm. Yet, this? This wasn't Kaeya. Not the Kaeya she knew. Not the Kaeya, as far as she was aware, anyone knew.

She supposed that was very Kaeya behaviour to her, to be so surprising and still, even after years of knowing him and catching onto essentially every little hint - there were moments he caught the dubious, vigilant Sister off-guard.

"I will do and take anything in plan, whether it be a gracious life or painful death. May Barbatos be with you."

And just like that, he was gone. Rosaria couldn't even mentally articulate what that was supposed to be. She had more questions than ever and the worst part about it all: she couldn't even go searching for answers.

She'd have to wait for answers (or clues)- that was, if any were scheduled to come her way. Maybe she'd be stuck in an endless loop of perplexing, or perhaps, time would lend a helping hand and relieve her of such trivialities.

Rosaria wasn’t one to ruminate often and perhaps she ought to be more cautious of her time. She didn’t want to be stuck in a confession booth for any longer. She’d have to wait at least ten minutes for Kaeya to be gone. That was, unless he hung around, but she didn’t bet on it. He was probably heading to the tavern. Perhaps she ought to check on him - If not out of care, out of suspicion. After all, the scrupulous Sister was not one to dismiss what intrigued her. Kaeya’s behaviour rarely did such.

He would most certainly muse in the idea of it doing so.

The thought caused Rosaria’s mouth to sting in annoyance. To give Kaeya satisfaction was the last thing she wanted. Why she was so set against it, she couldn’t be certain, but she was more than inclined to believe it was how he went about such satisfaction. Even if not as ego-ridden as he made himself out to be, such a persona he put on was tiring to deal with. That’s why Rosaria had preferred him when he let loose - Kaeya only let such a guard down after a few drinks.

She smoothed the glass of the watch, noting the time carefully. To be stuck here any longer, left to ruminate further, would be disastrous. She had a lot to think about during her work hours but whenever Kaeya added himself to the mix, he made her life a lot harder and caused her to think more painstakingly than she would have liked to admit.

Only a minute left until she could allow herself the freedom of not being confined to this awful booth.

She pushed the thought of Kaeya from her head, focusing on the watch and wondering where she even found such a thing. The watch was from her home, but Rosaria held many things in her home - it was surprising, for someone with hardly any Mora to spend. She spent most of it in the Tavern.

However, some old habits never leave. Rosaria was a treasure hoarder by nature, so to hoard was embedded in, if not her blood, then tattooed in her biology. She liked to imagine that anyway. Rosaria preferred to believe in that, rather than the simple label of ‘fate’ having such an unlucky path set for from the get go.
Rosaria pushed herself up from the booth, staring from the small peep hole before acknowledging the freedom of the Church. She left the booth, turning the sign and making a swift exit.

The Church was a lot less busy nowadays, the Sisters finding themselves too busy to come and stay. Rosaria liked to think they enjoyed being free, not tied down to the mountainous walls of religious imagery - although, somehow, some found that a comfort.

She couldn’t truly understand how something so obnoxious was of any comfort to them, when all it served her was discomfort and uneasiness. She supposed that was the beauty of interpretation. She didn’t linger on such an issue, preferring to remain ignorant towards useless thoughts.

What fellow Sisters seen in the Church was none of her business and really, who was she to care? She figured, people are attracted to what they don’t understand. That phrase shouldn’t have settled in her head. It wasn’t that deep, yet, she can’t help but note how true that is - and she hates it.

So much frustrates her. She frustrated herself. Even with all these years of hardening, toughening up her exterior and being labelled as a careless, ruthless being for her various, morally debatable sprees, she finds a way to disprove those words. Not to anyone else, but herself.

She couldn’t care less what others think. The one thing she does know though: she can’t harness her emotions perfectly. Her actions; those are easy, even when passionate and murderous, she remains in surprsingly sound mind.

But her emotions.

It’s a conversation she wishes not to have with herself, so she doesn’t. She doesn’t want to allow herself a second to remember how vulnerable she can be. She’s prone to it, naturally. ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ only goes so far.

Perhaps recent tales within the confessional have soured her thoughts more than usual. That’s why she’s being so cynical.

A hum leaves her lips, reaching into the side of her shirt and pulling out a cigarette. She’s thankful that at least one of her outfits seems useful. Back when she initially had this uniform, she remembered hating. She looked like all the other Sisters. Fortunately for herself, she’s bizarrely creative and even handy with a needle and thread. To an extent, anyway. She still had assistance but, all in all, she’s proud of how far her outfit has come.

Her birthday is coming up and all it does is remind her of the sickening gift she’d received for her prior celebration.

”If you're alright with it, stop being so aloof and be a normal Sister for once.”

Even on paper, Rosaria read the note how it was intended - In a snooty, uptight Sister Victoria voice.

Nowadays, she still wears her version of the outfit, just to spite her. Even if the other outfit isn’t bad - It doesn’t come from a place of nicety and generosity. Rosaria is almost certain most gifts she receives are not.

“Sister Rosaria!”

She sighs heavily, wondering how long Kaeya has been spying on her.

“Yes?”, She cocks her head to the side, noticing Kaeya approach her with a kind smile. It’s a fake one, that’s for sure, but that’s as far as her reading goes.

“No need for such hostility, is there?”, Kaeya chuckles, a bubbliness in his voice that Rosaria almost wishes to threaten to burst, “You’re glaring at me like I’ve wronged you personally,” Kaeya adds, a concerned undertone becoming gradually more and more prevalent. It’s almost blatant, the face he makes turning. Almost as if he’s scared he’s right.

Rosaria lifts her eyebrows, leaving him on edge. It reads, to Kaeya: ‘you don’t say?’. It’s a sarky gaze, one he’s familiar with, yet finds uncannily foreign. He isn’t used to Rosaria being so aloof - for his standards, anyway.

“I’ve…Not done something, have I?”

Rosaria shakes her head, becoming all too aware suddenly. She’s not consciously giving him such judgemental eyes, rather, she’s hiding herself in the only faces she’s able to assemble.

“No,” Rosaria reassures, “I just haven’t seen you in a while.”

It’s an excuse that rolls off her tongue, almost as if it’s not an excuse, but something she’s been wanting to say. Almost.

“You missed me?”

There’s a reason why it’s almost.

“Hm,” Rosaria hums, her eyebrows lifting, “What is there to miss?”, Rosaria’s eyes roll up and down him, scanning him with those eyes that, if they were not belonging to Rosaria, Kaeya would feel violated.

Kaeya laughs, not responding. The moment he lets out the slightest bite of air, her eyes dash to his face, reading him. He’s embarrassed, but not uncomfortable. Perhaps he’s giddy. She’s not sure.

Regardless, Rosaria muses. She grins, dwelling positively in the idea that she’s able to make the Cavalry Captain so bashful by just a simple look.

“Mm. I guess there’s this,” Rosaria reaches out (a rare occurrence on her end) to touch Kaeya’s furry collar that sat over his shoulder. Kaeya doesn’t flinch, feeling comfortable with such closeness, but Rosaria flinches herself upon a notion she’s started. It’s weak of her, really, but she doesn’t think so meticulously in the moment.

Kaeya lets out a hum, “Yeah. The folk love that. A defining feature of mine. Very loveable,” Kaeya comments jokingly. It’s supposed to be sarcasm- and it is- but the way he displays it almost makes it sound self depreciating. Rosaria knows it’s not supposed to be because, in reality, jokes like that aren’t Kaeya’s persona. Perhaps, those words are the words of Kaeya, but the way he delivers his lines; it’s not how she believes he would.

“What’s wrong?”

Rosaria shakes her head, “Just thinking,” She excuses, not particularly lying, but not telling the truth either.

“About missing me?”

Well, that’s the tone she’s used to. Her head slides upwards slightly to give him direct eye contact. Upon staring into the only eye she’s able to, she frowns, wondering why, even for a moment, she identified as almost reminiscent of this behaviour.

“No,” Rosaria denies, “More serious things.”

Kaeya pouts, his head tilting to the beat of Rosaria’s pulsing heart, “I’m not important?”

The way that Rosaria wishes to tell him no but no longer can’t like before - that sickens her. A few sobs from someone like Kaeya should not affect her as much as this. She despises the fact that it does.

Kaeya doesn’t believe those words. He knows he’s important and, if by rare chance, he doesn’t, Rosaria isn’t obligated to tell him. That’s not her job.

“No, you’re not,” Rosaria agrees, although it’s not as harsh as she it usually is whenever she reprimands him, “What makes you think you’re different from anyone else here, Alberich?”

Rosaria can answer that for him, but she’s not speaking on his behalf. She wants to know what he thinks. Granted, her question was rhetorical, but she knew Kaeya. He liked to answer such trivial questions out of pure spite.

“Mmm,” Kaeya lets out a hum, a gloved hand sliding over hers. Her hand shouldn’t be planted over his shoulder so carelessly. Rosaria wants to pull it back, but it’s sat there, comfortable and frozen in the coarse fur of his damned coat, “My ability to keep the most diligent and quick-witted Sister around for longer than she should be.”

Rosaria ignores his praise, because she doesn’t believe it, especially when it comes from his lips, “Longer than I should be?”, Rosaria’s lips tilt downwards, “Who decides that?”

Her words come off defensive and, although she didn’t mean to come off so sappy, she fears she might with the expression Kaeya seems to have settled for.

“Ah…”, Kaeya’s mouth opens, flickering through a mental stage of notes for something witty to reply back, but he’s too slow. His mouth shuts, staring at her with anticipated eyes, as if she was supposed to continue.

There was no response she could give to that.

So, instead, they let the silence simmer. Rosaria scans him, he scans her back. The wind that Mondstadt is everso eminent for becomes so much more noticeable in these moments. Kaeya’s lips part, almost as if he’s about to say something, yet he doesn’t.

There’s a lot of things about this small encounter that seem to be unsure. So much almost happened, but it didn’t.

That must have been for good reason.

Rosaria’s hand tenses, pulling back suddenly before patting herself down. Her cigarette. Right. That’s what she came out here to do.

Kaeya hums lowly, his hand dropping after ghosting what used to be Rosaria’s hand over his coated shoulder.

“It’s cold tonight,” Kaeya states blandly, as if he’s attempting to stir up some sort of diversion from the awkward moment.

“Mhm,” Rosaria nods, her voice dripping with that typical edge you’d expect of someone with her style, “It is.”

Kaeya remains stunned somehow, even though, he’s far more than aware, this is the Rosaria he’s more than accustomed to, “Don’t you get cold?”

Rosaria scoffs, finally having relief when she’s able to take the first drag of her cigarette. She puffs the smoke away from Kaeya, her head turning towards him with that look Kaeya believes she’s renowned for. He’s staring at her, not with any look in particular, just staring. It’s unlike him to be so unable to read. A false reading, Rosaria will admit, can happen when reading someone as cryptic as Kaeya - but no reading?

Well, there’s a first.

“I don’t get cold, no,”Rosaria denies.

“I don’t imagine someone like you does,” Kaeya hums, seeming serious for a moment. Rosaria acknowledges the words as a joke, but the way Kaeya delivers them. Again, it’s unlike Kaeya. He was never serious.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”, Rosaria snorts, cigarette pushing to her lips moments after.

“You wouldn’t allow yourself to be cold,” Kaeya states as if it’s true. Rosaria wishes to tell him that the human body doesn’t work like that, sarcastically, of course. She just doesn’t have the energy to correct Kaeya again. She’s had enough of digging into him.

“Mm.”

“And even if you were, by chance, cold,” Kaeya hummed back, “You wouldn’t admit it.”

Rosaria wonders what he means by such a claim.

“So, really, you’re never cold.”

Rosaria sighs heavily, unable to lock her eyes with him up until she forces herself to. She isn’t sure why it’s so hard and why looking at him has suddenly become such a robotic, tedious motion.

“You should frame that,” Rosaria comments sarcastically, “I didn’t know you were so profound.”

It’s drizzled in something dirty, yet Kaeya laps it up as if it isn’t.

“Thanks,” Kaeya seems content with such false praise, “I will.”

Rosaria hums lowly. This conversation just gets worse.

“Who am I to deny the demands of Sister Rosaria?”

She nearly lets a hearty sigh escape her chest, but replaces the urges with another knuckle-tightening puff of her cigarette.

Kaeya and her seem to have an underlying tension and whether that’s a positive statement is anyone’s guess. They’re close, supposedly, yet there’s something between them. A lot of things, actually. There’s a wall of difficulties, for the both of them, chopped, sliced and diced amongst the many secrets either of them hid from the other. Not only that, but both of them can’t communicate easily.

Not sentimentally anyway.

Good thing for Rosaria, she doesn’t need that. She doesn’t go searching for such things and therefore, doesn’t have much of a purpose picking up on such a skill.

However, Kaeya, she doesn’t think of, but if she were to - she’d assume he were otherwise. Especially by the way he speaks to himself at Church.

No hints so far. Even if there were any, Rosaria doesn't manage to catch onto any of them. So, to her, there's no clue. Whatever he meant that night remains as ominous as it was the night he recited those words. Kaeya, even still, can be an enigma to her.

He’ll always be like that, she thinks.

Rosaria wants to convince him to enter the confession booth again, in hopes that maybe, if under the impression he's alone, he'll speak up.

Another part of Rosaria questions if he's already done so. After all, she can't confine herself to a booth with the glimmer of hope that Kaeya may be able to explain himself one night on another crazy whim. Even with all Rosaria's curiosity, she wouldn't be able to commit to something as tedious as confinement. That was the one thing she couldn't stand.

Kaeya’s first supposed confession seemed spontaneous and unplanned, unlike the last one. She wonders if, perhaps, he is going to come back, or whether her hopes will die in due time, just as she presumed it would after his first ‘confession’.

That was proven wrong.

It didn’t take long, three days precisely. Rosaria doesn’t want to waste any more time waiting because, admittedly, she’s stayed behind for the past two days.

She’s only seen Kaeya once between now and the last confession. Earlier that day, they’d crossed paths outside the Mondstadt gates.
“Fancy meeting you here, Sister Rosaria.”

Rosaria wants to run away, not because she’s frightened, she’s just annoyed. Today hasn’t been good to her. With a mixture of overly aggressive treasure hoarders and incessantly depressing confessions, she doesn’t have it in her to even acknowledge Kaeya in a way that suits her.

She’s always grumpy, Kaeya notes, but she’s treating him differently.

“Long day?”, Kaeya insists, speaking on her behalf and somehow managing to somewhat catch on.

Rosaria doesn’t give him much more than a low mumbled grumble, an apparent hum that rather comes off more frustrated than intended. She notices him staring at her, which only causes her guard to heighten. He’s got a habit of staring more than the average individual. Rosaria tells herself it’s to make up for the fact he’s unable to see with both eyes.

“You seem busy,” Kaeya notes aloud. Rosaria wonders why he’s still around if he proposes so.

Rosaria doesn’t give him much, internally ignoring him. She’s only half present in this conversation, the other half of her focusing on her work tonight. It’s not like Rosaria to over exert herself, but ever since Kaeya’s mystifying confession, she’s been invested in her job.

Not that Kaeya knows that.

“You seem warm,” Kaeya comments, somehow managing to still stick around despite Rosaria not even saying a word. He reaches out to press the back of his fingers against her cheek and only then does Rosaria seem fully present in their ‘discussion’.

“I’m fine,” Rosaria flinches, pulling herself back and darting her hand up to grab Kaeya’s. She catches his hand, automatically balling it up and crunching down to squeeze it.

Kaeya whines childishly, to which Rosaria can only freeze before promptly removing her grip. She doesn’t truly wish to hurt him, but with such a bold move, Kaeya should know by now. She needs a warning.

She only glanced at him after that, to which Kaeya smiled quickly after, shrugging it off with a chuckle, “As strong as ever.”

He praised her, having a habit for doing such. It doesn’t hit Rosaria, especially not with the way he says it. It sounds purposeful, intending to compliment her.

Rosaria doesn’t take compliments.

After the brief goodbye Rosaria gave to him, she hurried off. She’s got a job to do.
She finds herself in the Church before she can even think about it, sitting herself in the booth with patience. It’s night time and typically, no one arrives past 8pm.

It’s 10pm.

So, the confessional is supposedly closed. Rosaria doesn’t turn the sign, rather just sitting there idly. She’s got a notepad this time, paper and pencil in hand. She’s got something to fiddle with this time, so she’s not utterly bored.

In her head, she can’t focus, at least not on what’s in the present. Rosaria wasn’t one to focus on the future, but now she’s found herself doing so, she’s stressed. She’s filled with dissatisfied anticipation.

She wasn’t supposed to come here tonight. She told herself yesterday that she’d give up, because she can’t just wait around forever. There’s other things she needs to do, yet, she decided to come here yet again.

Maybe seeing Kaeya gave her some sort of hope. She doesn’t acknowledge that though. She doesn’t want to admit she’s a victim of this false hope she’s been seeing in literally every confesser she’s seen this month.

Rosaria finds herself doodling, idly passing the time by scribbling little sketches in the notebook. She hasn’t drawn in years and it shows.

Back when there was little to do, amidst her capture when she was younger, she had little pleasures. There wasn’t much to do, with little money for even food, pleasures such as drawing were rare.

But she could remember enjoying putting pencil to paper when she got the chance. Although, even still, she remembers the time when something as innocent as a pencil was used as a weapon.

It shows.

With the way she loosely drags her pencil across the paper, it’s surprisingly dainty for someone like Rosaria, who always was known for her heavy handedness.

She can’t draw well, or at least, she doesn’t think so, but she doesn’t care. She doesn’t draw for anyone else.

She doesn’t do anything for anyone. She’s under the impression that most things she does goes unseen and unperceived.

Rosaria hummed and almost as if on key, she could hear a click from outside the booth. It’s the tapping of boots, an all too familiar rhythm. Even when entranced by her paper and pen, Rosaria halts. She knows that sound far too well.

“Hey.”

Rosaria feels the urge to say something back, because with the way he’s called out, it really does sound like he’s talking to another person.

“This place is getting dusty,” The all too familiar knock of wood echoes to Rosaria’s tiny chamber and she knows he’s sat on the other side, “Someone ought to dust it.”

He’s joking, she knows, but he sounds abnormally serious.

There’s a deadly silence after that, thickening the tension with mounds of wasted energy. Rosaria’s breath hitches before she becomes self aware, allowing herself to flip to a new page quietly.

She doodled in the corner, attempting to replicate the intricate flower-like details that were engrained into the wood of the confessional. It’s an odd pattern and Rosaria isn’t fond of it, but whether that’s because she actually dislikes the design or she associates it with her new monotonous job is anyone’s guess.

“Okay,” Kaeya breathes out, almost as if someone has been coaxing him to talk this entire time, “A lot has happened recently,” Kaeya’s hands start tapping again, along with his foot. Rosaria can only assume he’s bouncing his leg in anxiety. Although, she hasn’t seen him do such a thing before.

“Somewhat,” Kaeya hummed, “I’m blowing things out of the water, most likely, I know that,” He bargains with himself, tossing back and forth between validating and invalidating his emotions. It’s like he’s struggling with the amount of pauses he’s adding in yet again.

“I don’t know why,” Kaeya stalled, “I believe I may be overthinking.”

Rosaria scoffs, answering in her head with a sarcastic ‘probably’, ignoring the fact that her snide mental comment is nothing more than hypocrisy. She’s not exactly innocent of being the most efficient thinker as of recent.

“I know I’m stalling,” Kaeya added, being self aware in his own company.

Rosaria hums, continuing her doodling.

“I guess everyone’s been…Off lately,” Kaeya sighed yet again, but with a different vibe. It sounded far fuller than the average sigh that had escaped him before. He’s letting something out now, mentally preparing, “Everything is getting to me. I wish it didn’t.”

Rosaria frowns, his ambiguity causing her to wait in anticipation.

“I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel about some things-”, Kaeya interrupts himself, “As in- What am I allowed to feel? What’s a reasonable thought? Am I entitled to feel-”

Kaeya runs his mouth a lot, yet nothing of convenience slips out.

“I hate it,” Kaeya slumps audibly, “It’s so weird. I feel so gross,” He admits.

Rosaria’s attention is caught. That’s an understatement, actually.

“I don’t want to feel,” Kaeya pauses, but decides to end that sentence there. He doesn’t want to feel, that is true, that suffices.

Rosaria can only clench her fists slightly, the pencil in her hand pressing down harder.

“I think I’m jealous,” He admits finally, yet it’s quiet, full of sincerity - a sincerity she’s only ever heard him speak with when he supposes he’s all by himself.

“Last week,” Kaeya began, “The past month,” He corrects, “Rosaria hasn’t been the same.”

Rosaria wonders why he chooses to speak of her first and why he’s so shy-sounding when mentioning her name. He sounds more self aware here, in comparison to when she first heard him, he sounded far more confident.

“I guess she has her reasons,” He sighs, “I think it’s just me,” He convinced himself, his fingers tapping the table lighter, as if he’s afraid someone else is listening.

“I just wonder if I’m bothering her,” Kaeya admits, quick and fast, before allowing himself a scoff-like whine to escape, “That’s so pathetic.”

Rosaria hums. At least he’s self aware, is all she can think.

“I don’t usually care,” Kaeya tells, “Well, I do,” Kaeya admits, “But I can usually just ignore it. I can do, usually.”

Rosaria figures caring so much must be tough. She’s been, for lack of a better term, caring about him recently and she’s already wishing she hadn’t- even though she’s well aware, that kind of thing isn’t a decision.

“She hasn’t seen me as much as usual,” Kaeya frowns through his voice, “And that’s fine. She has her own things to do, so do I.”

Rosaria figures he sounds too confident there to be honest. He’s defensive with that phrase and she’s thankful she doesn’t have to be the one to break the news to him.

He does that to himself, “I just don’t understand what changed,” Kaeya appears sincere with that.

“I hope Diluc hasn’t told her anything,” He mentions, “I guess I wouldn’t blame him,” He adds, “I just didn’t think they were close.”

Rosaria wonders where he’s got such an impression from. She knows that, perhaps, she’s been negligent to him this week, but she doesn’t owe him anything. They’re both adults.

“I know I said I’d take whatever comes my way,” Kaeya hands pause, “Or something like that. I forgot the exact phrase.”

Rosaria pauses, figuring he’s going to say something interesting.

“But-”, Kaeya lets out a defeated sound, “I don’t want to lose her, please.”

‘Never mind, it was something useless’, Rosaria guards those words from getting to her, passing them off as such.

“I don’t think I can cope with that,” He admits, “I miss her already,” He whispers, letting out a scoff after, “That sounds so stupid.”

Rosaria nods, because he does.

“I hate myself,” Kaeya admits, albeit lighthearted, Rosaria acknowledges he’s never shown that kind of ‘humour’ to another.

"The moment is only as sad as I make it, I guess, right?”

Rosaria hums.

“So why am I making it out to be so sad?”, Kaeya asks himself, seemingly having another mental debate, “She’s literally just been distant. That’s just Rosaria, I know that-”

Rosaria begins writing at this point, feeling as if this is important.

“But I worry she might replace me,” Kaeya admits, a small slap echoing through the booth. Rosaria can only assume he’s facepalmed, “I’m such an idiot,” He notes, muffled.

“I shouldn’t care so much,” Kaeya invalidates himself, “But sometimes I feel like she’s the only one that listens.”

Rosaria feels an uncanny guilt lay in her chest.

“I feel like she doesn’t care,” Kaeya adds, “But I know she does,” He confirms, “She’s just got a particularly peculiar way of expressing it, I think.”

Rosaria’s nose scrunches up in grimace. He sounds so sappy when he believes he’s alone.

“It’s endearing,” Kaeya confirms, “But it does terrify me,” Kaeya sighs, “But I like that about her. She keeps me on my toes.”

Rosaria wants to roll her eyes at his sappiness. He’s said this before, yet, it’s never sounded as sincere as it has now.

“I know, sounds amazing,” Kaeya comments sarcastically, “I make her sound so enticing. Alluring, for sure.”

He’s got a coping mechanism, for sure. It’s not being serious.

“I guess she’s not approachable to the average person,” Kaeya lets out a chuckle, a fondness in his tone, “But I think she’s approachable. I like approaching her.”

Rosaria covers half her face with her hand. It’s getting uncomfortable now, because she’s feeling an unprecedented feeling that she truly cannot pinpoint.

“She’s not like other people say she is,” Kaeya sounds like he’s convincing someone. Rosaria can only assume he’s convincing himself, “She’s a bit of a mystery to me.”

Rosaria rolls her eyes, frustrated with how she’s feeling over this.

“Even when she’s told me so much,” Kaeya almost sounds like he’s bragging here, “There’s a surprise to her.”

Rosaria can relate to that feeling.

“I guess I-”, Kaeya stammered, “I-I haven’t prepared myself for that no longer being the case.”

Rosaria’s eyebrow lifts in curiosity.

“Maybe I’ve spoke too much,” Kaeya frowns, “Perhaps I don’t entertain her in the same way she entertains me,” Kaeya pauses, leaning forward, “I guess that’s a given though. I don’t expect that much admiration to be reciprocated.”

Rosaria wants to strangle him for sounding so enamoured.

“Or even replicated by another, actually.”

She wants to tell him he’s stupid for romanticising her behaviours and that he shouldn’t settle for friends like that. He deserves far better than her, even if she doesn’t like saying it, but figures the right person hasn’t accepted him yet.

“Can I say something embarrassing?”, Kaeya asks to himself.

Rosaria can only think about how he’s been doing that this entire time.

“The other night,” Kaeya hums, “Diluc and Rosaria exchanged looks,” Kaeya begins to become shy again, his voice practically tiptoeing, “It sounds so stupid…”

Rosaria wonders what he’s talking about, because she can’t recall ‘exchanging looks’ with Diluc.

“She entered the tavern and seemed to look at him first,” Kaeya sounds like he’s telling a secret.

Perhaps he’s finally making true use of the confessional, even if in the unconventional way.

“Then she signed to him,” Kaeya sounds slightly entitled with that, “Since when do they sign to each other?”, Kaeya’s tone changes slightly, becoming chatty and gossip-ridden, “I just didn’t know they were that close. Maybe I’m overthinking, but I also wonder if I’m not- But perhaps that thought itself is overthinking-?”

Kaeya’s thinking out loud again.

"Rosaria finding a new friend sounds good and all," Kaeya phrases it like she's a child, to which she can only squint disapprovingly, "But of all people, why Diluc?"

Rosaria frowns at the way he's talking about her, blabbering on as if she's some sort of bothersome three-year-old.

"I guess I see the similarities," Kaeya whines, "...Perhaps that's why I'm so scared."

Rosaria doesn't see the similarities herself, but they do get along. At least, as much as a bartender and customer can do.

"It'd be ironic though," Kaeya lets out one of those overwhelmed whine-like scoffs, "Imagine. The two people I hold closest to me, leaving, then befriending each other," Kaeya pretends that's funny, even when he's by himself.

Rosaria notes it down. She wants to remind herself that Kaeya does have insecurities, as much as he likes to pretend he doesn't. Sometimes, she takes him for face value, but she's beginning to realise that doing so and treating him as such has most likely played a part in making him feel like this.

“It shouldn't affect me as much as it does. I'm worrying over nothing- but what if I'm not?", Kaeya begins to have one of those questioning monologues.

He stays quiet for a moment, before humming lowly, "Surely it can't still affect me- not after all this time. Time is supposed to come with healing- yet, some nights, I don't even feel healed," Kaeya combs his hands through his hair, "I feel worse."

Rosaria questions what he's referring to with that, quickly coming to the conclusion it's Diluc.

"Sometimes, it's not even pain; instead of pain, I'm dwelling in regret, in guilt," Kaeya begins his voice partially strained by emotion, "But I'm not sure if I can change anything. How I feel isn't changing, even if I tell myself I'm trying, it's never enough. I can't just try, I need something to change-! Time isn't enough-"

Rosaria doesn’t have it in her to be irritated when he talks like this, even if she’s heard the same story various different times. It’s that tale of him and Diluc, regurgitated, but slightly different this time. He’s being open, more open than how he allows himself to be after a multitude of impulsive drinks. He's not acting like it’s a joke. He’s being fully serious. Rosaria can only assume he’s hardly like this, even with himself. The way he’s speaking, it sounds like he’s keeping something to himself, still.

She knows she can't control this side of things, she's not involved, yet she feels partially guilty, like she's sparked these feelings back up due to her actions. The one thing she can control.

She doesn’t want to be the catalyst to his overthinking tendencies.

"I've had enough time to heal, but the healing doesn't feel like it's taken place," Kaeya whines, head in hands, "...This is so stupid."

Rosaria can almost feel the way he's telling himself to shut up. It's odd how he's doing so, considering he's 'alone', yet finding the need to keep himself quiet.

He's keeping secrets, even when all by himself..

"I just wish it were out of my hands, but it's not," Rosaria notes how she can hear Kaeya's voice break ever so slightly, "All of what I feel, it's all deserved, because it's my fault," Kaeya sounds on the brink of tears again, "I just don't feel welcomed anywhere. I know nobody wants me and I'm no one's first choice-", Kaeya's voice muffled.

She can only assume his head is in his hands, "I feel foreign everywhere I go," Kaeya's voice hitches again, causing him to stammer, "I-I would leave- but my chance of redemption- on both ends-"

Rosaria doesn't hear him continue and she can’t tell if she’s thankful for such a thing. She’s unsure how much she can take. She can only listen to how painful his sobs echo, attempting to decipher what he means by all of this. Kaeya is never to the point, even in solitary. She can only assume he's coming to the Church for a true outlet, treating the Church like everyone else does.

Rosaria knows, faith comes into even the most heavy headset atheists when being handed such awful fate. She figures that's why Kaeya's shown up. In that sense, he's much alike the rest of Mondstadt.

"I don't know what I'll do," Kaeya begins his confession, "I-If I lose Rosaria-"

He sounds as if he believes the bullshit spilling from his lips. Rosaria hates it, because it's not true. She doesn't plan on leaving him, yet he makes it seem like she's already on the other side of Teyvat.

"I j-just don't want to-" Kaeya's voice hitches, "Lose-", Kaeya doesn't even say her name, “Please-"

Rosaria can hear his hands clasp together to pray, something she believes Kaeya hasn't done in a while. His voice strains with a candidness he’s only ever shown here in the confession booth, or perhaps on the off chance he’s let his facade slip.

Rosaria notes how Kaeya differs from the other confessers and patients. He’s similiar to most in the way that he attempts to use religion as an escape and Rosaria can’t blame him. The way they advertise absolution is almost cultish. She might have believed in it too if she cared enough to do so.

However, he's different from the rest of Mondstadt, specifically to her, because he doesn't treat her like a God. He doesn't just come to her when he needs her, he comes to her because, supposedly, he's fond of the dear Sister. That much is evident in his pleas and prayers to the Gods to keep her around.

Even if, when they do speak, Kaeya does have the tendency to open up nowadays, he never used to. That isn’t Kaeya using her, that’s Kaeya trusting her.

That’s one thing Rosaria is only now just understanding.

She supposes she’s somewhat accustomed to people attempting to use her. Maybe that’s why she’s so closed off; it minimises the chances.

Rosaria can’t pinpoint what exactly Kaeya had done to worm his way into such a tough position, but he’s there regardless and even still, if Rosaria hears the same story ten times in a week, she’s ready to hear it again. For whatever reason that is, she isn’t sure. It’s not a recent revelation, so it can’t be her job.

So, it must have been Kaeya.

She pushes away the thought, trying to focus on something else, yet she can’t. Kaeya is on the other end of the confessional and to even make an effort to not think about him; that would be futile.

He hardly says much of comprehension, although Rosaria translates it all too well. She speaks his weird languages, to an extent.

He cares about her and Rosaria doesn’t want to accept it and in most cases, she doesn’t. It’s easy to ignore someone so full of themselves, because insincereity flows casually from someone speaking so eloquently.

But, at this moment, Rosaria can’t push it off, nor can she deny it. Kaeya enjoys her company, specifically her company. He wishes to keep her around. It’s more than apparent that he stresses and worries, as much as he denies doing so. Yet, the one thing he’s never denied is appreciating her being around.

For the next few minutes, he does just that. He wishes, sobs, pleas, whines, prays, babbles and cries. He does everything he believes he can until the emotion runs dry and Rosaria hears him sniffle his final tears away. He's building himself up for the final important message of tonight, or so she assumed.

"I don't want to do work tomorrow," Kaeya complains, as if he just hasn't sobbed his heart out to an 'empty' booth in the cathedral, "I don't want to go to the Tavern either."

That's a first.

"I don't think Rosaria is going to be there again," Kaeya sighs, "I don't know where she's been lately."

Kaeya frowns but soon enough perks himself up for a joke, "It's like she's listening to someone else rant to her every night," Kaeya jokes, although there's a seriousness to it, Rosaria's lip tugs.

If only he knew.

If only he knew how much she cared. Who exactly she were listening to. She vowed he'd never find out, because if he did, that would've been far too much to comprehend, let alone explain. That and- Rosaria herself isn’t ready to admit that she cares about him as much as he cares about her.

“Maybe she’s hiding somewhere,” Kaeya perks up slightly, “Her birthday is soon.”

Rosaria begs he doesn’t plan to do something big. She’s told him countless times, she prefers less fuss and so far, Kaeya has listened. Somewhat.

He’s not gone over the top, but he’s always done more than enough for her.

“I wonder if she’s forgotten,” Kaeya hums, “I doubt she forgets. Ever. She probably pretends to forget, just so the attention isn’t on her.”

Rosaria frowns, believing that it’s rich for someone like him to make an assumption like that, but she’s amused that he’s so caring about something so meaningless.

“She hasn’t mentioned her birthday, but she never does,” Kaeya taps his fingers against the table yet again, almost sounding bashful with how he talks about her, “I don’t know how she keeps to herself about it. Surely she wants something- It’s her one chance every year to ask for something,” Kaeya pauses, “...Yet she doesn’t.”

Rosaria wonders exactly what he gets out of talking about her to himself. It sounds boring, to her. It’s not even negative. She expected Kaeya to at least bad mouth her once, yet even in private he sings her praises. He’s like that usually, but by himself, he sounds more truthful.

Rosaria doesn’t want to believe it, so she brushes what he says off and remains with the thought she’s always had: she doesn’t care. If she tells herself that enough, it’s true.

“She’s either selfless, or too prideful to ask,” Kaeya assumes, “...I think a bit of both, most likely.”

Kaeya remains quiet after that, like he’s thinking too intensely to articulate his thoughts further. His fingers keep active, dancing along the sides idly as he presumably thought.

“That’s a good idea,” He notes to himself.

Rosaria’s hands ball, sighing in annoyance. Perhaps it’s best that he stays cryptic within this moment. She doesn’t want to know whatever he’s planning, even if that does give her the ability to prepare herself for it.

Kaeya doesn’t waste his time. Not long after that, he stands, giving the booth a friendly tap before hushing out a small ‘thanks’ and leaving. He’s oddly polite to something that supposedly doesn’t have consciousness.

Rosaria doesn’t want to think about how long she’s listened to him babble on. She gazes over the clock, face pensive. It’s late. She wondered how Kaeya managed to ‘entertain’ himself for so long, just talking to himself. She supposes he doesn’t have anyone to talk to. He’s lonely, really, even if he’s against the idea of such a title.

Gazing down at the notes, Rosaria can only breathe in heavily. It’s not much, but it’s stuff she’d like to remind herself of. It’s valuable, in a way, to hear Kaeya so open.

She told herself that tonight was the last night she’d sit there and wait for him, but after tonight, she wonders if she’ll actually stick to that.

She ripped the pages out, stuffing them in her clothes for safe keeping. She’d have to put these there. She could leave the notepad, knowing that she might need it for next time.

Next time comes surprisingly late. It’s quick, too and in Rosaria’s opinion, it wasn’t worth the wait. She hears him out, he talks about Diluc, gets emotional, and leaves.

She can only remain thankful her name wasn’t brought up.

Come to think of it, she hadn’t seen Kaeya in days. He was around, surely, but since he’d come in and briefly spoke, she hadn’t caught sight of him.

Perhaps he was playing hard to get, or something childish like that. She wouldn’t put it past Kaeya to believe in something so juvenile.

Nevertheless, Rosaria keeps to her word, keeping an eye on the Church as much as she could. It’s weird to imagine herself so devoted to something she typically attempted to avoid by all costs. She doesn’t let herself linger on the idea, because she’s too prideful to take such things into account. She’s not ready to accept it.

The days pass and before Rosaria can even prepare herself, it’s her birthday.

She only realises it after the clock strikes 12, the ringing of the large bell above the cathedral swaying left to right, bellowing through the walls. It’s an unnerving sound and the way the church rattles with uncertainty every time it rings, it only reminds Rosaria of one thing: She’s still at the Church.

She grimaces, her face scrunching up in disapproval. Her birthdays don’t ever have plans, but to think she’d accidentally spent her first few minutes in the Church, on her birthday, it feels uncanny.

Her head plays back the moment where Kaeya doubts her poor memory and all she can do is grin, finding that, although she’s at Church, she’s proven him wrong. There’s a silver lining to her poor judgment.

She figures today’s been a long day. To expect herself to remember her birthday is a lot. Primarily, it’s because she went years without celebrating it as a child. In fact, she only learnt her birthday on her tenth and by the time she’d found out when her birthday was, she saw no point in celebrating it. Especially because those that had kidnapped and raised her also didn’t.

She finds it odd, although respects it’s a tradition around here, even if she can’t understand it. Kaeya, although from a rough place himself, had the somewhat privilege of having a normal childhood. At least, as normal as he could get. She knows that, even still, Kaeya has been hard done by, if not physically, than mentally. She doesn’t compare herself to him because, in her eyes, their lives are incomparable. There’s no debate on who had it worse.

Those kind of debates are always useless. Although, if she had to pick, she would choose Kaeya.

She prefers to focus on the now. Whatever has happened doesn’t matter. Deep down, it’s all about how to cope. Rosaria feels as if she copes alright. She’s not the most healthy, granted, but Kaeya seems in a far worse mental state than she believes her own self to be in.

She’s not sure why she spent her first thirty minutes of her birthday thinking about Kaeya. Perhaps it’s the confessional - it reminds her of him in a way.

She becomes annoyed at that. She thinks to herself that it’s time to go, yet, she doesn’t move. She isn’t sure what stops her, but it’s a gut feeling. Rosaria isn’t one for impulsivity, despite being good at thinking on her feet.

She doesn’t move and she’s thankful for doing so, because she hears the clickity clack of all too familiar boots stride in. She curls up, wondering why he’s here. It’s late, he should be in bed.

Rosaria frowns at that thought. She doesn’t know why she’s prone to babying him in such a way. He’s not her responsibility.

The Church echoes the sound of his waltzing; he’s calm, simply strolling through the Church. Rosaria can hear him cross the booth, noting that he indeed is not intending to enter.

She can only assume he’s here for other reasons. Most likely, he’s searching for something.

Rosaria stays still, assuming he’ll eventually leave and she can slide out of the booth, finally heading to bed. She doesn’t typically sleep so early, but her head isn’t mentally prepared for hours of anxiety. The unnerving vibe Kaeya’s presence has given her doesn’t seem to be going away anytime soon. She wishes to sleep through such a feeling.

“Sir Kaeya?”

Rosaria wonders why Jilliana is up at such a time. She isn’t sure why she’s here, as her daughter is most likely home alone.

Kaeya lets out a hum, the turn of his heel echoing more than it should. He’s dramatic in his ways and Rosaria can imagine what he looks like, just through the vibration of his movements.

“Ah, Sister Jilliana,” He greets, “Apologies for the disruption. I wasn’t aware there were Sisters awake at such hours.”

There’s a small silence between them, but it’s cut short by Jilliana, “No, no, the Church is open,” She credits him, “I should be the one apologising, I’m aware that’s a safety breach, I sincerely apologise-”

She sounds like she’s about to go on, but Kaeya hushes her, “Nonsense,” He responds, “There’s a capable Sister within the Church,” He doesn’t believe those words, Rosaria can tell, he sounds like he’s preparing himself to scold her, “I only worry of your safety.”

There’s a slight shuffling, “I understand,” The woman nods back, her hands clasped together below her waist with utmost sincerity, “I do not mean to pass blame, but I do believe the Church is in the hands of Sister Rosaria tonight.”

Kaeya hums in intrigue, almost like he’s found what he’s been looking for, “Sister Rosaria?”

“Yes,” Jilliana nods, “She has been on duty at the Church for several weeks in Sister Victoria’s absence.”

Rosaria doesn’t hold any ill will towards Jilliana for telling the truth, but she’s angry that she’s carelessly divulged to the one she had attempted to hide from.

“Oh,” Kaeya lets out, to which Rosaria can’t read how he means it, “I wasn’t aware. She hadn’t instructed me-”

Jilliana lets out a sound, but Kaeya interjects, “That’s not your fault, of course,” Kaeya nods, “I believe you full heartedly.”

The Sister lets out a sigh, “I apologise. I have attempted to speak to Sister Rosaria, but-”

“I understand,” Kaeya chuckles, “She’s hard work.”

Rosaria scowls at such criticism. For one, Jilliana hasn’t even approached her and second of all, Kaeya stands in no position to say she’s difficult to work with. Kaeya is a lone wolf as much as she is, he’s just able to withstand the social interactions that Rosaria finds too impractical to stay for.

“I don’t mean to speak ill of a fellow Sister,” Jilliana shakes her head, “She has been doing exceptionally well as of recently. It’s like a blessing from Barbatos themselves.”

Kaeya seems intrigued, “Oh, really?”

Rosaria wants to slap him with the way he states his queries. It’s embarrassing to listen to either of them sing her praises, especially when she knows it’s undeserved.

“Most certainly,” Jilliana confirms, “Have you not seen her?”, Jilliana almost sounds concerned, “Although I’m…Not close with the Sister, I’m aware she’s not close to many,” Jilliana pauses, “Besides you…If I’m not mistaken?”

Kaeya lets out one of those chuckles, but Rosaria can see he’s stalling, “Oh, perhaps. Some might say that.”

Rosaria tenses at his phrasing yet again. He sounds so full of himself, it makes her want to gag. He’s alluding to facts that are clearly untrue. He’s lying, but it’s indirect.

“Oh, I see,” Jilliana sounds happy at such news.

Rosaria wants to curl up and shake away whatever feeling she’s got hung over her heavy shoulders. She doesn’t care what others think, of course, but to have some think that her and Kaeya are close. It’s a threat to her pride and at the very least it serves her the feeling of irrefutable embarrassment.

“So, what exactly has she been doing, if I may ask?”, Kaeya allows himself to lean on a pillar, crossing his arms and getting comfortable, “I haven’t seen her much as of recently.”

He seems like he wants to say more, but Rosaria shrugs off that fact. She just counts her blessings, thankful that he doesn’t.

“Well, I’m not too sure what her schedule is,” Jilliana lets out a light hearted chortle, “But she’s got her own routine, I suppose. She’s in charge of lock down,” Jilliana pointed towards the doors, “Check ups and such also,” Jilliana pauses, “I’m not certain if she does them as thoroughly as Sister Victoria, but we’re all quite impressed at how much she’s done already.”

Kaeya raises an eyebrow, “Surely that doesn’t take too long,” He states truthfully, “Is she not doing anything else?”

Jilliana remains quiet for whatever reason, “I can’t particularly say, I don’t…Think,” Jilliana lets out. Rosaria lets out a sigh of relief, thanking the only resemblance of ‘laws’ Mondstadt had regarding breaches of privacy.

“Oh, I see,” Kaeya frowns, “Well, that is a shame,” Kaeya hums lowly, keeping the silence between him and the sister before smiling at her shamelessly, “I’d like to know why she’s been avoiding meetings.”

Jilliana seems concerned, “Avoiding meetings?”

Rosaria wonders what he’s talking about.

“Oh, do you not know?”, Kaeya sounds like he’s rehearsed this and all Rosaria can do is mentally curse herself. He’s snooping around for her, that much is obvious, “She’s had several appointments in the Favonius Headquarters this week…”

Rosaria knows full well that’s a lie.

It’s a shame Jilliana is nonethewiser, “Oh dear,” She responds, sounding almost guilt ridden, “I apologise, the Church has been taking a lot of her time up-”

“No, no, please,” Kaeya sounds caring with that, “It’s not your responsibility to speak on behalf of any other Sister, is it?”

Jilliana remains quiet, aware that he has a point.

“I’d just like to know what her duties are,” Kaeya hums, “She’s far too prideful to admit her tasks,” He’s leading to something and Rosaria doesn’t like it, “I understand you can’t tell me-”

Rosaria squints, tensing.

“But I’d like it if maybe you could give me a clue?”, Kaeya scoffs, waving his hand, “Ah, forgive me. I’m asking too much, aren’t I?”

Sly bastard.

“Oh, no, no,” Jilliana shakes her head, “I…Suppose I can say. You Knights are the ones that have crafted such ideals of secrecy,” Jilliana lets out a soft sound, “You have the rights to know the schedules of all Sisters at Church-”

Rosaria wants to do something to stop her, but finds herself stuck. She can’t exactly uncover herself, because that’s incriminating too. She’s stuck in a predicament, fighting with a double ended sword.

“I thank you for your co-operation,” Kaeya smiles with a tooth-rotting falseness, “So, where has she been as of late?”

“Ah, well,” Rosaria can feel eyes on her at this point. They’re both looking directly at the confessional. Both may not be able to see her, nor can she see them, but she feels it, “Most of her duty is to hear out confessions. Sister Victoria typically is the Sister in charge, that much is common knowledge, but Sister Rosaria has been the one in charge as of late.”

Kaeya remains silent, leaving the Cathedral desolate of any movement for a full moment.

“Oh,” Kaeya lets out, “Has she?”, Kaeya pauses, “I had no idea.”

He sounds different and Rosaria can only assume he’s thinking what she’s thinking, or at least, somewhere along those lines.

“She has been quite busy with the confessional. As mentioned, I’m not too certain of her hours, that’s an inquiry I doubt I will be able to make myself,” Jilliana lets out a light laugh, “I’ve hardly seen her, even with her job being so close to mine.”

Kaeya laughs partially, nodding to himself, “Certainly,” He adds vaguely, “I had no idea she had such a busy schedule as of late.”

Jilliana simply nods, “She has indeed,” She agrees, “I’m surprised she hadn’t informed you of her recently work,” Jilliana frowns through her words, “I would have thought she wouldn’t care about the security handguide-”

“Ah, I don’t think the handguide is why she’s hidden such information from me,” Kaeya chuckles, “Perhaps I’ve said too much.”

Jilliana hums, “I don’t wish to pry,” She informs, to which Kaeya knows is a sign to continue.

“As I’ve said, I haven’t seen her lately,” Kaeya hums, “She’s even failed to show up to our plans tonight.”

“Oh, celebratory meet up?”

Rosaria wonders how Jilliana remembers her birthday.

“Of course,” Kaeya nods.

Rosaria remembers making such plans, but only now has it hit her, it was supposed to be the night of her birthday.

“It’s alright though,” Kaeya dismisses, “I’ll just have to have a chat with her, won’t I?”, Kaeya chuckled, “I just hope I managed to get my hands on her before the end of the week.”

Jilliana lets out a small laugh at his terrible light hearted joke, “I suppose you will. Do let me know if you find her,” Jilliana nods, “I…Want to tell her I’m available. Despite my maternity leave, I’m quite able to work.”

“You needn’t worry yourself,” Kaeya insists, “But, I will do so. I’m sure she will appreciate your assistance as much as I do.”

Jilliana nods, “But of course. I’m always here.”

“As am I,” Kaeya nods back to her, “But do get some rest. It’s quite late and I’m certain you deserve some rest. I’ve kept you awake far too long.”

“Of course not, but I admit, I am quite tired,” Jilliana nods, her hands over her chest.

“I can assist you back to your residence if you wish?”, Kaeya offers, to which Rosaria scoffs, “I’m off duty, so I’m more than free.”

“Ah, I’m quite stable on my feet,” Jilliana pauses, a slight chuckle escaping, “Or, I hope I am,” She jokes.

“I wouldn’t like something misfortune to happen,” Kaeya moves, “I do insist.”

“I wouldn’t like to impose-”

“Nonsense,” Kaeya scoffs, “You’ve given me more than enough assistance tonight,” Kaeya praises, “I’ve been looking for those answers for the past week, you simply answered them in just one night.”

Julliana wishes to protest, Rosaria can tell, but it’s not like she’s uncomfortable. She just doesn’t want to impose.

“The pleasure is all mine, Sister Jilliana.”

“Ah…Well,” Jilliana lets out a soft sigh, “I suppose, if you’re offering, I’m no Sister to deny a Knight’s assistance.”

Kaeya lets out one of those pleased sounds, “Splendid.”

After a few more shuffles, Rosaria lets out a sigh, wondering how much longer they’ll be.

“I assume you have everything?”

“I’m quite prepared.”

“Let’s head off then, shall we?”

Rosaria lays her head in her hands at that. She’s going to have to face Kaeya tomorrow. He’s going to demand some sort of answer from her.

Well, if Kaeya can lie, two can play at that game.

Rosaria isn’t sure how it happened, but Kaeya managed to sneak his way into her home while she was “asleep”. It takes her a moment before she realises, she gave Kaeya a spare house key for ‘safe keeping’. It was something he insisted on, promising he wouldn’t “abuse such a meaningful gift.”

Well, if this wasn’t abuse of her trust, she didn’t know what was.

Kaeya was quiet when he entered, but Rosaria picked up on it nonetheless. She let out a groan, a hand to her head. She knows it’s Kaeya.

“Hey,” Rosaria calls out, deciding that she’d make her presence known since he hadn’t directly done so already.

Kaeya lets out a hum, “You’re awake,” He mentions upon entering the bedroom entrance.

“Unfortunately,” She nods, a hand over her face while she groaned yet again, “A certain criminal decided to sneak his way into my house.”

“There’s no need for comments like that,” Kaeya frowns.

Instead of Rosaria arguing with him, she drops her hand from her face. She knows what’s coming. He’s going to try and string something out of her.

“What do you want?”

“Am I disturbing you?”

“Kaeya,” She glares at him, before scanning over her clock, “It’s currently 3 AM,” She turns back to him, “And you’ve just woken me up,” He doesn’t have to know she’s lying about that, “Yes, of course you’re disturbing me.”

Rosaria sits up in her bed, light blankets falling from her frame, “What do you want?”

Kaeya figures his anxiety isn’t worth bothering her over, but he’s already gone past the point of no return, so he figures he should just spit it out.

“I…Happy birthday,” He lets out, but Rosaria just drags her hands over her face in annoyance.

“Okay, and?”

Kaeya lets out an awkward chuckle, “...And…I haven’t seen you recently.”

Does he expect her to ‘fess up’ or something?

“I guess not,” Rosaria agrees, “Has that bothered you?”

Kaeya keeps quiet, somewhat caught off guard by that question. Rosaria knows the answer, but even still, his silence speaks volumes. It just confirms what she already knows.

“Sorry that you missed me, I guess,” Rosaria scoffs as she says it, teasing him in the moment. Kaeya just frowns, covering his face with one hand.

“I was worried,” He reinforced it by repeating himself, “I was, really.”

“Repeating yourself doesn’t make you sound more certain,” Rosaria grabs a pillow of hers, setting it on her lap to rest on, “It does the opposite, actually.”

“I do!”, He seems defensive with that, but Rosaria doesn’t care anymore. She just waves her hand in dismissal.

“Just get to it, Kaeya.”

Kaeya knows she’s straightforward, but even to this day, her bluntness has always had an effect.

“I…”, Kaeya doesn’t beat around the bush for once, setting his gaze elsewhere, “I’ve caught wind that you’ve been…More loyal to the Church than usual.”

She can tell he’s teasing her with that.

“Oh, really?”, Rosaria lifts an eyebrow, “And why do you care?”

She knows why he cares.

Kaeya’s head moved elsewhere, “...I…Just wanted to know,” Kaeya clasped his hands together nervously, “What do you know?”

Rosaria gives him a confused expression, “Me?”, She frowns, although it’s playful, “What do you mean?”

“Don’t play dumb,” Kaeya mumbles. Although, what she says tells him all too well that she knows something.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Rosaria frowns, “Some might say I know a lot,” Rosaria shrugs, “Others might suggest I have no clue what you’re talking about.”

Kaeya lets out a frustrated huff. She knows Rosaria is mirroring his mysteriousness. It discomforts him to think how much she knows.

“Although, I will say,” Rosaria tilts her head in factitious innocence, “I don’t appreciate you lying to the Church.”

Kaeya wants to ask since when does she care, but he knows the answer. He knows exactly what she means.

“You shouldn’t be listening in on private conversations.”

“And you shouldn’t be sneaking into the Church after hours, regardless of your Knight status,” Rosaria responds, “It’s strictly forbidden,” She’s not even sure if that’s true, but Kaeya doesn’t have the knowledge to disprove her or state otherwise, “Plus, that conversation was hardly private.”

“It was between me and another Sister, I wasn't aware of your presence, is that not a private conversation?”

“However you believed your status to be is not my problem,” Rosaria rolls her eyes, “If you hadn’t snuck into the Church, no such conversation would have taken place.”

“If you closed the Church, then I would not have entered,” Kaeya responds, still sounding formal as they argued civilly.

“The Church has no closing time,” Rosaria frowns, “I was aware it was open, if need be, I would have acted.”

“So,” Kaeya tilted his head, “Where exactly were you then?”

Rosaria stayed silent.

“I didn’t see you, and trust me, I looked.”

Rosaria knows what he’s alluding to and it’s the truth, yet she doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction of having something right.

“I was where I’m situated most nights,” She confirms, albeit subtle, Kaeya’s eye widens.

“I see.”

“Is there a problem with that?”

They both know there’s a problem with that.

Kaeya doesn’t say anything, but his cheeks heat up instantly. His face becomes ruddy, a slight twitch in his hands with nervousness.

“I can’t believe you let me say all that,” Kaeya mumbled, a hand over his mouth in embarrassment. Seeing him like this, it makes her feel guilty for acting so prideful over it. She knows that, if it were reversed, she wouldn’t forgive Kaeya. At least, not for a while anyway.

“I can’t believe you lied to a Sister just to know where I was,” Rosaria responds back, although she’s well aware that, out of the two of them, Kaeya isn’t the one who’s done wrong.

Kaeya covered his whole face as much as his palm could, lowering his head in defeat, “Why did you let me say all that?”, He mumbled, “I can’t even recall all I’ve said-”

“I assumed you were coming to confess,” Rosaria told him truthfully.

“Why were you still listening? Even when the sign clearly stated it was closed?”, Kaeya’s words sound angry but his tone says otherwise. She pinpoints him being upset, but there’s nothing much more than that she can sense. There’s something else, but she’s unable to define it.

“The first day,” Rosaria began, “I thought it was okay, it was a mistake. I was about to leave, but then you came in.”

“And you didn’t think to stop me?”

“It’s a privacy thing.”

“You don’t care about that, you know you don’t,” Kaeya frowns, ultimately betrayed by her, “You could’ve just knocked the wood, at least have let me known someone was on the other side-”

Rosaria admits that’s true, “...Yeah, you’re right.”

Kaeya’s shoulders curl with tension, “Go on,” He encourages, just wanting to know.

“I…Tried to get what you said out of my head,” Rosaria shook her head, “It wasn’t too important,” She reassured him, her face seemingly sympathetic. It was a rare look for Rosaria, “But I’d never seen you so…”

Kaeya whines under his breath, remembering back to when he was in the booth.

“So truthful, I guess,” Rosaria hummed, “I’ve never heard you speak so genuinely and I…”, She paused.

“...I guess I wanted to see if you’d do it again.”

Kaeya frowned back at her, “So you just waited every night until I came back?”

“No, not exactly,” Rosaria’s voice stiffens with that, her own cheeks reddening at the idea, “I had stuff to do. I just…I stayed behind some nights. So, I’ve heard…A few things.”

This isn’t exactly how Rosaria panned it out to be. She hadn’t expected Kaeya to be so truthfully annoyed with what she’d done because, at the time, she had justified her behaviour. However, now seeing him in front of her, she regret it.

“I…”, Rosaria tensed, fists clenching, “I’m sorry.”

She didn’t look at him after that. He deserved such words. It was the least she could do, even if it took her a lot to say it. She doesn’t like giving a person like Kaeya the moral high ground, because he’s a lot like her in terms of ethics - but this isn’t just morality in question.

This was trust broken between two extremely close friends.

“I shouldn’t have done it,” Rosaria nods, “I didn’t think about it at the time,” She adds, an uncomfortable feeling kicking in. It’s her pride being taken away from her, bit by bit. It’s a vulnerability she doesn’t show anyone, because she’s too afraid to. She doesn’t want to. They don’t deserve it.

Even if she’s afraid and most definitely does not want to, he deserves this much.

“I guess I told myself you would have done the same if it were me.”

Kaeya doesn’t respond for a moment. Instead of telling her the expected ‘no, of course not’, he thinks whether or not that’s the case.

“...I don’t know if I would.”

Rosaria lets out a sigh, “You don’t need to comfort me.”

“I’m not trying to,” Kaeya responds back, “You have a point.”

Rosaria doesn’t understand why he’s letting this go so easily. Well, not letting it go per se, but being far more lenient than he realistically should be.

“I think,” Kaeya let out a quiet sound, “If I was in your position,” Kaeya paused, seeming like he was still amidst concluding the judgement in his head as he spoke, “I might have listened to you and not told you I had.”

Rosaria wonders why Kaeya’s being so understanding about this, because he doesn’t need to be. He doesn’t need to allow her the satisfaction and comfort of knowing she made a reasonable mistake.

“Especially if I thought you wouldn’t find out,” Kaeya hummed lowly, dragging his hand away to reveal his face, “Doesn’t exactly change anything, but-”

Kaeya finally looked at her, “I know that I would have worried if it were you. I would have wanted to hear you out,” Kaeya paused, his lips parted. He wanted to continue, so Rosaria let him, keeping an eye on him through her peripheral.

“I would have valued that kind of ignorance, actually,” Kaeya scoffed, “I probably would have done exactly what you had done,” Kaeya paused, crossing his arms quiety while he leaned against the doorframe.

“I guess it’s not often you’re open with me,” Kaeya states, “I know that’s the same for both of us.”

Rosaria feels partially guilty, knowing that he’s spoken for her. It’s not fair. He has the right to be angry and even reprimand her for her discourse, yet he doesn’t. He finds a way to sing her praises and cover for her, just like he always had done.

He’s lied, of course, but he has good intentions. Same could be said for Rosaria, really. Even if what she’d done was arguably far far worse.

“Kaeya,” Rosaria whispers, turning her head to him. He’s still awkward, with his face deeply ridden in shame, but yet his face hid some sort of gentleness that Rosaria, for one, can’t pinpoint and refuses to ultimately acknowledge any further. It’s making her soft and she hates it.

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry,” Rosaria repeated, “Genuinely.”

Kaeya scoffed, smirking slightly, “Repeating yourself doesn’t make you sound more certain,” Kaeya copies her phrase from earlier.

Rosaria’s eyes light up at that, a realisation coming to fruition.

“Why aren’t you mad?”

“I am.”

Rosaria frowns.

“You know what I mean,” Rosaria sounds quite sure, but specifies regardless, “You could have cursed me out by now and left. You have the right to do so,” Rosaria evidently feels guilty, “I just don’t understand why you haven’t.”

“Because I understand,” Kaeya tells her, “I’m embarrassed, of course. I’m angry that you’ve betrayed my trust and that hasn’t changed,” Kaeya sighs, “But…I do understand.”

Rosaria wants to say he’s being reasonable but she can’t believe that’s true because he’s treating her so kindly. She turns her head to him, fists curling up yet again, so much so that her knuckles turn snow white and the muscles in her jaw burn with tension.

“I’m sorry I forgot about tonight.”

Kaeya shrugs, “You’ve been busy,” Kaeya hums, “Plus, it’s your birthday, you’re not inclined to spend it with me.”

“I want to,” Rosaria responds instantaneously, before she had the chance to take it back, “I mean-”, Rosaria waves her hand, “Not the whole day-”

“Why not?”, Kaeya teases. Even through his embarrassment, he reveals a cheek-filling smile, “Can’t handle me?”

“It’s not that,” Rosaria dismisses.

His question was rhetorical, but Rosaria knew he had a specific habit of truly wanting his rhetorical questions answered.

“I don’t know,” Rosaria shrugs.

“Don’t want to admit you like my company?”, Kaeya muses, although not like before. He’s less egocentric-sounding in his phrases tonight.

Rosaria can only feel herself become gradually more frigid. She wants to deny it, but she remembers the notes she’s taken. She wrote what he said down for a reason.

“You like my company more than you’d like to admit also,” Is the only thing Rosaria can let out from her lips.

“I like your company more than anyone else’s,” He admits earnestly. Rosaria can only feel herself fizzle in frustration, “I know it’s not easy to admit.”

Rosaria squints, but doesn’t direct her feelings towards him, preferring to aggressively glare at the bedsheets.

“I think it’s awkward to admit,” Kaeya agrees, despite her not saying a word, “Especially when you don’t want to give the satisfaction to someone who might leave you.”

Rosaria despises the fact that he knows her so well, even if, he’s speaking for the both of them when he says that. Kaeya’s just as guilty of not displaying sincere affections as she is.

Or, at least, he was.

“So, why are you doing it now?”

“I mean,” Kaeya shrugs, “...Suppose the cat’s out of the bag now, isn’t it?”

His face reverted, glowing red again before he made an attempt to hide it.

“I’ve…Admitted a lot of stupid things,” Kaeya can’t help but feel a shy smile grow on his face as he continued with this thoughts, “But I can’t say everything I said isn’t true.”

Rosaria shakes her head, feeling as if she doesn’t deserve his sincerity for once.

“I value you far more than I make out I do,” Kaeya admits, his face turning towards the window.

Rosaria opened her mouth, attempting to open up for the first time in years. She’s stiff about it because, even in her head and her own silence, she doesn’t allow herself to be what she likes to think he deluded.

She gave up quickly, retreating from the bed and making her way over to him.

“I hate you,” are the only words she actually manages to get out, before wrapping her hands around his waist hurriedly. She doesn’t want to think about what she’s just done, or the implications of such a thing.

Kaeya himself freezes, mainly because he’s not used to such affection unless it’s from women in their 50s. He pauses.

“I know,” Kaeya’s mouth moved before his own body does.

He pulls her in when he finds the chance to, an odd feeling of security as he holds her. He’s never been up to her this close and as much as he’s pictured it in his head, it’s never been as enchanting as this.

Once he manages to get the hang of it, accustoming himself to the overwhelming job of being in her embrace, he coops his head in the crook of her neck, to which she responds bizarre accuracy, resting her head over his. It’s a moment Kaeya doesn’t want to end and, weirdly enough, doesn’t feel threatened by the possibility of it ending soon.

“You know, you deserve more than this,” Rosaria tells him.

“I doubt it,” Kaeya scoffs, his arms tightening quickly. He doesn’t want the moment to end just yet.

“You do.”

Kaeya sighs, “It’s the opposite way around,” He assures, “And don’t ask why,” He frowns through his muffed words.

“Mmm,” Rosaria hums lowly, her face turning towards his as much as possible, her lips ghosting his neck, “Don’t tempt me.”

Kaeya snorts, “You deserve better than the stuff I’ve put you through.”

Rosaria knows he’s a handful, but to say she was purity itself would be a lie. She’s no innocent angel, which suits her just fine.

But the fact that it translates to Kaeya so differently is beyond her comprehension.

“I don’t care what I deserve,” Rosaria hushes, “Whatever we deserve means nothing,” Rosaria struggles to see how her words apply both ways. She knows she has double standards.

“I don’t care what I deserve,” Kaeya repeats back, “I just know what I want,” He specifies.

Rosaria snorts as his sappiness, “What? Me?”

Kaeya lets out a satisfied hum, nodding into her neck, “Mhm.”

She scoffs, choosing not to respond to that. She doesn’t have anything left to say to him, the two of them softening in the moment. Rosaria placed a kiss towards his neck, feeling Kaeya tense, then shiver.

“Sorry,” Kaeya apologies informally, pulling his head back slowly. He doesn’t dare let her go, not until she commands him to do so.

“For what?”

“I don’t know,” Kaeya seems bizarrely bashful and despite, out of the two of them, arguably having more experience in this type of thing, he remains sheepish at the smallest things.

Rosaria took her turn, leaning into his neck with a sigh, “You’re more fragile than you make out to be.”

Kaeya lets out a scoff, “Aren’t most people?”

“More fragile than I anticipated,” She rephrased.

Kaeya lowers his hands further down her waist, “In a…”

“No, not in a bad way,” She reassures him, pulling back just to roll her eyes at him.

She’s thankful at least, thankful she did what done, or she wouldn’t have had the knowledge surrounding Kaeya’s true feelings to bring her here, to such a state of vulnerability.

“Thanks for listening to me,” Kaeya adds suddenly, “Even if you shouldn’t have,” Kaeya lets out a small sigh.

“I think it was worth it.”