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This was it, potentially the last game of Night Vale’s football season. Night Vale was to play against Desert Bluffs and if they lost, their season was finished and the already bitter rivalry would become unbearable. Ugh. Cecil hated having to travel to Desert Bluffs to cover the games; the people there were just so... weird. Horrible even. Always smiling and… freakishly productive and... just so weird. Desert Bluffs gave him the creeps.
And of course the radio reporters for the opposing teams had to share the press box. Ugh. Cecil normally had no problems sharing anything with anyone, but honestly, he'd rather share that press box with a librarian than with a Desert Bluffs reporter. They were awful, the absolute worst… always so happy and creepily optimistic and so very passive-aggressive.
Cecil had just settled into the seat reserved for him when a man that looked oddly familiar – though he was certain they’d never met – entered the box. He was smiling but… no, wait… that was not a smile, not really. The shape of his mouth had been augmented in a way that made him look as though he were always smiling. And his eyes… his eyes were as black as an abyss, so black that they almost appeared to be missing entirely. Perhaps the most noteworthy aspect of his appearance, however, was that he looked to be covered in blood spatter. It oddly suited him though, gave him character even.
“Hi!” the man said cheerfully.
“Hello,” Cecil replied, trying to remain detached and cool. He reminded himself that this man was indeed from Desert Bluffs, and therefore should not be liked nor trusted. There was something fascinating about this strange man though, in a frightening sort of way.
“You must be the Night Vale Community Radio host!”
“Cecil, yes.”
The man closed the distance between them and extended his bloodstained hand. “Cecil! How wonderful to meet you! I’m Kevin, host of Desert Bluffs Community Radio!”
Cecil took his hand, ignoring the bloodstains and the way his heart sped up with trepidation, and shook it. “It is… oddly nice to meet you Kevin… I think.”
“Oh, you are so much nicer than my predecessor made you out to be. How odd,” Kevin paused, seeming to give consideration to the discrepancy for a few moments.
“What did your predecessor have to say about me?” Cecil asked, narrowing his eyes.
Kevin took the chair next to him despite the fact that it was not reserved for him. “He said that you were quite pleasant for a gloomy Gus, which is a vast understatement! Though I’ve only just met you, I find you absolutely delightful!”
Cecil smiled despite himself. “You’re… not so bad yourself.” What was he saying?! Had he lost his mind? But… Kevin really wasn’t so bad for someone from Desert Bluffs, or even for someone mysteriously covered in bloodstains.
“Aww, thank you!” Kevin beamed, his startling white teeth gleaming dangerously. “I will look forward to visiting your unique little town in the future, knowing that I will have a friend waiting there for me!”
“Um… sure,” Cecil replied, turning to survey his equipment. Anything to look away from that horrifying, yet oddly mesmerizing smile that Cecil might even go so far as to describe as charming in its own disturbing way.
Kevin left only to return a few moments later with what appeared to be an intern carrying his equipment for him. He motioned for the intern to set up the equipment beside Cecil’s. “I hope you don’t mind,” Kevin addressed Cecil once more as he sat in the chair beside him, “I know that this is not my designated seat, and although I am not usually one to change predetermined seating arrangements, I would very much like to sit beside you Cecil. I think it would be absolutely wonderful to broadcast this game together, don’t you think?”
“I suppose it would be…”
“Oh good!” Kevin said gleefully before Cecil could finish.
Cecil stared at Kevin thoughtfully. It was rather peculiar, but he didn’t find Kevin’s optimism to be quite as annoying as every other Desert Bluffs resident he’d ever had contact with. It was still annoying, yes, but tolerable. Perhaps his somewhat disturbing appearance worked to bring a strange sort of balance to his personality. Cecil had the oddest feeling that there was much more to this bizarre man than what could be seen on the surface, and though he couldn’t discern why, he longed to find out what lay beneath.
“Good evening Desert Bluffs!” Kevin said, leaning close to his microphone as he began his broadcast. “Exciting pre-game news everyone! I have made a new friend! His name is Cecil and he is from Night Vale! Say hello Cecil.” Kevin pushed the microphone over to Cecil.
Cecil hesitantly leaned over to the microphone. “Uh, hello there.”
“Doesn’t he just have the most wonderful voice Desert Bluffs?” Kevin asked, leaning over so that his head was right beside Cecil’s instead of repositioning the microphone. “I could listen to it all night! Oh! I guess I will be as Cecil, who is sitting right next to me, will be starting his broadcast to Night Vale very soon. Maybe, just maybe you’ll be able to enjoy a little of his voice as well if you listen very carefully!”
Cecil could feel himself blushing a little from Kevin’s flattering words. He reminded himself that he did indeed need to start his broadcast though and so he did. He watched Kevin out of the corner of his eye as he talked, hoping the strange man wouldn’t be offended by Cecil not introducing his Desert Bluffs counterpart after he’d given Cecil such a kind introduction to Desert Bluffs, but Cecil knew that Night Vale would not be pleased to hear anything from or about the rival town short of their decimation on the playing field. Kevin (thankfully) didn’t even seem to notice as he cheerfully broadcast to his own community.
The game was, as it always was with their biggest rivals, heated and nothing short of brutal. Kevin remained chipper as ever though and, to Cecil’s surprise, was slightly less passive-aggressive than his predecessor. He did have a few moments of extreme team spirit in which he had excitedly yelled things like “Eviscerate them!” and gave disturbingly cheerful encouragements such as “Rip their teeth from their skulls! They will make wonderful mementos with which to remember this incredible night by!” With each of his outbursts, relatively small amounts of blood appeared on and around Kevin’s equipment; Cecil was never able to determine the origin of any of it. Cecil found this more interesting than disturbing, but found the fact that he found it interesting quite disturbing.
In the end, the Desert Bluffs Vultures beat the Night Vale Scorpions in a not even remotely close game and riots began to break out both on the field and off. The game announcers were gone before Cecil had even finished his intro to the weather, perhaps to flee the chaos or maybe to join it, leaving Cecil and Kevin alone with their respective weather casts beginning to play in their headphones and over the air.
Cecil cautiously turned towards Kevin and found Kevin staring at him, smiling that disturbingly charming smile. “The Scorpions gave it their best try and it was a really great game. Better luck next time!”
Cecil wasn’t sure if Kevin was being passive-aggressive or genuine; it was impossible to tell with that augmented smile and pitch black, emotionless eyes. “Thank you?”
Kevin grabbed a fist full of Cecil’s shirt, startling him, and pulled Cecil and his chair to him. Cecil stared into his obsidian eyes, looking for some hint as to what his Desert Bluffs counterpart might do next, but found nothing. Kevin pressed his lips to Cecil’s in a surprisingly pleasant kiss. Cecil returned the kiss as he mused that while this encounter was definitely the most surprising and quite possibly the strangest he’d ever had, with the weather playing in his ears, it was really quite lovely.
The kiss deepened as Kevin cupped the back of Cecil’s neck, ensuring that he didn’t escape. Cecil vaguely supposed that he should probably be a little worried by the firm grip Kevin had on his neck and the sharp teeth scraping across his bottom lip, but he wasn’t. He was turned on by it. This man that had no choice but to forever smile, with soulless eyes and bloodstained skin, who said happy and optimistic things that shrouded their vile true meaning, was nothing short of implacable. It sent shivers of thrill down Cecil’s spine knowing that Kevin could be – and likely was – very dangerous but ignoring the risk for the small pleasure of their lips moving together in perfect accord. Something inside of him told him that Kevin wouldn’t hurt him and he believed it.
As the weather neared its end, Kevin pulled away. His permanent smile was even more pronounced and it made him look nothing short of demonic. This was his true smile, Cecil could tell, and to him it was oddly wonderful.
Kevin turned back to his microphone. “Oh my, it seems that the night’s events have taken a turn. Everyone is hugging! And tear gas has been deployed by the Night Vale Sheriff’s not-so-Secret Police so that everyone can let out their emotions together without anyone being left out. Isn’t that so wonderful and thoughtful? Thank you Night Vale, once again, for that magnificent gift!”
Cecil gaped at Kevin, wondering if he really thought that tear gas was a gift or even that they were really hugging and not brutally fighting. Sure, most of their games ended with the Sheriff’s Secret Police deploying tear gas, but it most assuredly wasn’t a gift. He realized that he was broadcasting dead air and quickly turned to his own microphone. “As usual Night Vale, a lot has happened during the weather. A lot. More than usual even. As with every game against Desert Bluffs, the Sheriff’s Secret Police have deployed tear gas to break up the ever present hostility and ensuing carnage. I am safe here, from where I report to you, but outside… no one is safe. Blood surely paints the stands, as well as the fields, but listeners, we will survive this… this horror, as we always do. We will come out on the other side stronger, wiser, and perhaps a little more prepared for next season.”
Cecil glanced over at Kevin. Kevin was looking at him with what Cecil might almost call adoration as he spoke to his listeners about how wonderful unexpected things could be. “But Night Vale, oh my dear sweet Night Vale,” Cecil continued, “perhaps not all has ended horribly here in Desert Bluffs. Perhaps someone out there, maybe even an unsuspecting reporter, has found a glimmer of strange but oddly wonderful light in this otherwise dismal night. Or maybe that glimmer of strange light found him. Perhaps they’ll meet again, and maybe even again. Maybe together they’ll one day heal a deep-seeded rift, though I wouldn’t count on it. One thing is certain though dear listeners… at least one not-terrible thing happened here tonight. Take heart in that as I say to you… goodnight Night Vale, goodnight.”